Witchcraft by a Picture
by anyavioletta
Summary: If you think that Hogwarts was squeaky clean in the 1940's, think again. Sex, drugs, violence, love, jealousy, and a bit of murder… Welcome to Hogwarts! Tom Riddle/OC, Alphard Black/OC, OC/OC. Rated M
1. Chapter 1: Foul Deeds Will Rise

'**_Je t'aime... moi non plus' _- Serge Gainsbourg**

* * *

**WITCHCRAFT BY A PICTURE**

**Chapter 1**

**Foul Deeds Will Rise**

'Have you heard?'

Selene looked up from her magazine to see Malkin's black eyes sparkling and her face flushed with excitement.

'No, but I'm sure you're going to tell me nonetheless.'

Malkin grinned and sat opposite Selene.

'We have no classes with Slytherin this year!'

Selene's eyes widened and she sat up.

'No!' she said in a low whisper. 'But… surely… that would make our year _too easy!'_

Malkin nodded ecstatically.

'I know! No Emilio trying to make a pass at me every chance he gets…'

'No more Tom!' Selene exclaimed, becoming teary at the thought.

Malkin frowned.

'Selene, dear, surely you're not _upset_ at the thought?'

Selene wiped her eyes and laughed.

'No. It's just… this is the best news I've received for a _very_ long time. I haven't been this happy since our end of exams celebrations last school year!'

'Was summer _that_ bad?' Malkin whispered. 'I thought you said that you could easily ignore him at the orphanage?'

Selene shrugged and glanced out of the window at the lush English countryside.

'I did, mostly. Of course, I had a few chance run-ins with him but thankfully he didn't speak to me or even look at me, really. Still, that orphanage isn't exactly my idea of a fun summer.'

Selene looked up to see that her friend looked guilty.

'Oh come on, don't be like that!'

'It's just... I don't understand why you didn't just come on holiday with me and my family! I asked you at least half a dozen times- and we went all around Europe. We would have had a ball, the two of us!'

Selene chewed her lip.

'You don't understand,' she said slowly. 'If I let _Tom_ go there by himself, there would be no one to protect the other orphans from him. I'm the only one at that orphanage who has ever been able to stop him or make sure that he doesn't get away with it.'

Malkin looked uncomfortable.

'Selene,' she said quietly, 'Are you sure it's _safe_ for you to try standing up to him?'

Selene raised an eyebrow.

'What are you saying?'

Malkin sighed.

'He's scary, Selene. There's something not right about that boy and, as your best friend, I'm telling you that I think it'd be best if you didn't provoke him.'

Selene crossed her arms stubbornly.

'Do you think he's better than me?'

Malkin looked down at her hands.

'Well?' Selene demanded. 'Do you?'

'Look, Selene, there are some curses for which there is no counter, and you don't know any Dark Arts.'

Selene rolled her eyes.

'Please. Tom could never hurt me. Have you forgotten about my special gift?'

This time, it was Malkin who rolled her eyes.

'Selene. Wandless magic consisting of levitating books and causing pumpkin juice to explode in Alphard Black's face isn't exactly going to help you when faced with an Unforgivable.'

'Yes,' Selene interrupted impatiently, 'but it's a gift _he _doesn't have.'

Malkin stared at Selene before shrugging.

'I know I'm never going to convince you on this topic so how about we leave it and talk about something else. I know, how about I show you my robe design sketches? I had some _excellent_ inspiration from the catwalks of Milan. Their clothes there are so beautiful- I couldn't resist buying a whole trunkful of clothes!'

Selene shook her head at Malkin, grinning.

'I thought you weren't buying any more clothes?'

Malkin smiled guiltily.

'I know… but I was in Milan for Merlin's sake! How often am I in the world's fashion capital?'

Selene laughed.

'Very well then. Now, show me Madame Malkin's latest fashion designs. I want to see if you've come up with anything which I can wear to this year's Yule Ball!'

* * *

Alphard Black had seen better days.

He was very disappointed that his summer break was over and that he had to return to school, and this was rather unusual for him. Usually, he was ecstatic at the thought of leaving his family and their upper-class snobbery.

But this summer had been different-

Camille.

She was a muggle girl from the village next to the Black Chateau in the South of France and he was fifteen and in love with her. She was unlike any other girl he had met with her bronze skin and fair hair, her sparkling blue eyes, her adorable French accent…

Not to mention the fact that she was much more relaxed and willing to trying things than any of those prudish English girls. So much so that it was in fact _she_ who had suggested that they make love on the beach that night- the night before he left France for England again.

She said it would be their final gift to each other.

'Here, take this,' she said, handing him the cigarette that she had just rolled.

He took a drag from it and coughed a little.

'What…what is it?' he asked, his head feeling light.

She smiled, flashing her brilliant, white teeth.

'Marijuana,' she said, taking a drag and blowing the smoke into his mouth.

He closed his eyes, feeling as though he was soaring high in the air. Nothing mattered anymore.

She leant forward and kissed him. Her hair had never felt softer in between his fingers as he tangled a hand in it and pulled her closer to him.

She rolled on top of him until she was straddling him.

'For _l'amour_,' she said, her voice reverberating in his ears.

'For love,' he sighed.

He gasped as she lowered herself onto him. It was nothing compared to what it felt like when he was alone in his bedroom.

She rolled her head back and he trailed wet kisses down her neck as they began to move.

'Ah… Alphard,' she sighed, '_Je t'aime, Je t'aime_…'

His breath caught as the pressure built up. His hair was sweaty and he saw beads of her own sweat trailing down her breasts.

'Oh…_merde_…Alphard…!'

But he had come too quickly, disappointing her. She soothed him by telling him that it was normal for boys to come very quickly on their first time, and then allowed him to finish what he had started for her.

Of course he had kept Camille a secret from his family. After all, they would surely kill her (and him) if they had found out that he had been 'defiling' their noble and pure name with a muggle…

But, for now, that didn't matter. She was his first love and it hurt that he would never see her again.

.

'Hey, Alphie quit pining and say hello to your mates!' Ryan said, punching his arm.

Alphard looked up, annoyed.

'Don't punch me,' he muttered irritably.

Ryan rolled his eyes.

'Come now, Alphie. We haven't seen you all summer! What's news?'

Alphard pursed his lips.

'Nothing,' he replied shortly.

His friends stared at him. Sean, Alphard's best friend, grinned-

'He's in love.'

Alphard looked up suddenly, his eyes ablaze.

'How…how do you know?' he stammered.

Sean shook his head at Alphard.

'Look at you- you've become pale, thin and… you look like you haven't slept properly in a while.'

Alphard sighed.

'Well?' Keith grinned. 'Who is she?

Alphard smiled, but said nothing. Suddenly, the compartment door burst open and they all looked up to see Gertrude McAvoy and Muriel Weasley.

Their chests were both puffed out, highlighting their shiny new 'Prefect' badges.

'Which idiot made _Mad Muriel_ a prefect?' Keith muttered.

The four boys burst out into raucous laughter.

'Ten points from Ravenclaw,' Muriel said primly.

'Each,' Gertrude nodded.

'Gertie,' Alphard retorted, 'You're _in_ Ravenclaw! Why would you take points from us?'

'Because it's time you boys learnt a lesson,' she replied tartly.

Alphard grinned at her and Gertrude swallowed uneasily, her strict demeanour slipping as her eyes locked with his mischievous, sparkling grey eyes.

'Come, Gertie, no one likes a prude. Why don't you two lovely ladies take a break from docking house points and join us for a round of Butterbeer?'

The other boys' eyes widened in horror at the suggestion.

'Um…' Gertrude faltered, torn between Alphard and duty.

'Ahem ahem.'

They all looked up at Muriel who shot Gertrude a disapproving look.

'We're _leaving_, Gertrude. We can't be seen associating with such raucous boys,' she said firmly.

Gertrude nodded, though she hardly looked as though she agreed with Muriel and it wasn't until Muriel grabbed her arm forcefully and pulled her out of the compartment that she actually _did_ leave.

Alphard looked around to see his three friends looking highly unimpressed with him.

'What?' he asked innocently.

'You invited _Mad Muriel _and _Gross Gertie_ to have _Butterbeer_ with us?'

Alphard shrugged.

'So?'

Keith sprang up and shook Alphard by the shoulders.

'Don't you see what that would do to our _reputation_?'

Alphard rolled his eyes.

'Oh come on…'

'Alphard,' Ryan interrupted sternly. 'Your vision may be impaired due to your lovesickness, but you just asked the two ugliest girls in the school to join us. You have to snap out of this, man!'

Alphard shook his head.

'Can't you see that it's a _good_ thing to have them on our side? Winning them over _before_ school starts means that they'll be more lenient to us for the rest of the year.'

Alphard grinned as the genius of his plan registered with the others.

Suddenly, Ryan sprung up and ran out of the compartment door calling down the corridor for Gertrude and Muriel to come back. Alphard couldn't help laughing.

Perhaps the year wasn't going to be so bad after all.

* * *

'To-om! Tom! Where are you?'

Tom clenched his fists, trying to ignore Morticia's voice. He was meant to start his Prefect duties by patrolling with fellow Slytherin prefect- Morticia- but after an unbearable summer of no magic, he has other plans.

'Tom!'

He brought his fist hard against the wall, his patience finally snapping, and pointed his wand at the locked door.

'_Silencio_,' he hissed.

He smiled in relief as Morticia's unbearable voice had finally disappeared before turning to face his victim.

'Forgive the interruption,' he said politely. 'Now, where were we?'

Esther tried to struggle against the robes which bound and gagged her, desperate tears streaking down her pale cheeks.

Tom smiled coldly at her. It was pathetic, really, how easy it was to reduce someone to such a state of desperation. After all, Esther was in his year and meant to be one of the brightest students.

Evidently not _too _bright. It had been ridiculously easy to capture her and disarm her.

'Now, Esther,' Tom whispered, 'Don't be like that. You won't remember any of this when we're done- it'll be as though it never happened. I just need a bit of practise.'

He paused and smiled again.

'Think of it as you, helping a fellow colleague become one of the greatest wizards of all time.'

Esther's eyes widened as Tom cleared his throat.

'_Crucio.'_

* * *

**So I'm back. I just missed you all too much!**

**Now that I'm waiting for my novel (Stained Glass) to get published, and I find that**** I can't write anything else that is original until it is, I gave in and decided to try this. A lot of you asked me to write a prequel when TGM finished and, as I've been thinking a lot about Voldemort lately and decided that 'The Good Morrow' didn't give me enough of an opportunity to explore his character, I came to the conclusion that it was time I wrote this story.**

**And, in case you're wondering, you don't have to have read The Good Morrow to read this. **

**A little teaser from the next chapter:**

'_I hate him! I hate him so much that I want to kill him! Why do I care what that evil, evil boy thinks of me? Why does his opinion matter to me?' – _Selene Asteria, talking about Tom Riddle

**Feel free to leave me a review!**

**Love, Anya**

**P.S You can find links to my official website, Twitter, Tumblrs and LJ on my Profile Page. Do check them out and add me :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Something is Rotten

_**"Right actions in the future are the best apologies for bad actions in the past."- **_**Tryon Edwards**

* * *

**Chapter 2**

**Something Is Rotten**

Alphard woke with a start, certain that he had just heard someone screaming. He sighed and lay back in bed, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

It wasn't just any scream- it was blood-curdling.

He shivered and closed his eyes, deciding that it must have just been part of his dream.

'What was that?' Keith suddenly piped up, sounding worried.

Alphard sat up and drew back his hangings.

'You heard it too?'

'The scream?'

'Me too?' Ryan said, also drawing back his hangings.

'What's going on?' Sean yawned.

The boys looked at each other before walking down the staircase to their common room gingerly where they were met with a crowd of students, all in their pyjamas, looking concerned.

'Did you hear it too?' Horace Walton, a timid first year, asked them.

Alphard nodded.

'Yeah.'

Horace swallowed nervously.

'Is this how it always is at Hogwarts?'

Alphard looked down at Horace and realised that this was his first night at Hogwarts.

'No,' he replied tersely. 'This has never happened before.'

Horace nodded, chewing his lip and looking pale.

Suddenly, there was another scream and everyone fell silent as there was a bang and then a crash as two girls fell from the staircase to the Girls' Dorms.

'Esther! It's okay!' Gertrude shouted over Esther's hysterical sobs.

But Esther kept on flinching spasmodically and Gertrude, looking very flustered and worried, shouted-

'Can someone get some help? Please!'

--

Later, the four boys were back in bed. Everyone watched Keith sympathetically- he had liked Esther for a long time.

'Sorry, mate,' Alphard said eventually.

Keith looked up at them, his eyes tense.

'What do you think was wrong with her?' he asked shakily. 'She kept on fitting and twitching and screaming and…'

He trailed off and they all nodded silently- it had been a horrific sight.

Alphard sighed and pushed the idea quickly from his mind. He had many a time seen how his family had hunted and tortured muggles for sport. He didn't like it, but Esther's fits and screams sounded horribly familiar…

* * *

The first day of classes at Hogwarts had never been gloomier. The Ravenclaws were all silent whilst the rest of the school whispered their theories as to what had happened to each other.

'Maybe she was poisoned?'

'Maybe she has epilepsy?'

'What's that?'

'It's this thing muggles get…'

'But she's not a muggle…'

'Oh. Right… well maybe she's sick?'

'Ahem.'

Selene and Malkin stopped whispering and looked up to see Professor Tangent looking at them expectantly.

'Selene Asteria, would you care to explain to me why you were being most rudely inattentive in my class just now?'

Selene bit her lip, twirling a tendril of her long brown hair as she looked up at the professor.

'Sorry, Professor,' she said, smiling innocently. 'It won't happen again.

Professor Tangent stared at her for a moment, his lips pursed, before shaking his head and returning to the front of the classroom.

'If I had a knut for each time you have told me that, Miss Asteria, I would be a rich man. Now, class, this year is your OWL year…'

Selene and Malkin listened for a minute longer before bending close to each other and resuming their conversation.

'You're really something, you know that?'

'Excuse me?' Selene asked, confused.

Malkin adopted a ditzy voice and started twirling her black hair.

'Sorry Professor Tangent,' she mimicked.

Selene slapped Malkin's hand, but grinned nonetheless.

'Well at least we didn't lose any house points or get a detention!' she reasoned.

'At what expense, though? Now everyone thinks you're a shameless flirt.'

Selene shrugged, grinning.

'Oh, right,' Malkin nodded. 'Sorry, I forgot- you _are_ a shameless fl…ARGH!'

Malkin's looked shocked as she suddenly noticed that Professor Tangent was once again standing in front of them. This time, however, he looked rather annoyed.

'Not a good start to the year, girls,' he said irritably. 'I'm already going to have to separate you two.'

'But…' Selene protested.

Professor Tangent shook his head.

'No. Miss Asteria, kindly swap places with Mr Lovett.'

Grumbling, Selene flicked her wand and sent her books over to where Sean had been sitting.

'I did not say that you could use magic!' Professor Tangent exclaimed, sounding at his wit's end.

Selene gave him another innocent smile and walked up to the desk. She frowned, however, when she realised that she would be sitting next to none other than Alphard Black.

Similarly, Alphard did not look too happy at his new desk partner.

She chewed her lip as she tentatively sat down next to him. Once Professor Tangent had started speaking, she again leaned over.

'I hope there are no hard feelings about last year any more,' she whispered.

'No,' Alphard drawled sarcastically. 'None at _all._ You only caused my pumpkin juice to blow up in my face during the school feast, scalding me.'

Selene looked apologetic.

'You see, Malkin just didn't believe that I could use wandless magic! It wasn't as though I had anything against you, or anything… and I wasn't expecting it to scald you. That was an accident.'

'Oh, and that exempts you?' Alphard muttered, rolling his eyes. 'Listen, I don't care if you can twirl your hair and bat your eyelashes at professors to get them to forgive you, but what you did last year was uncalled for and you're kind of 'pretty girl' coercion won't work on me.'

Selene crossed her arms, annoyed.

'Well I'm apologising for it now,' she snapped. 'And it's not as though it scalded you _that_ badly. Madam Pomfrey fixed you up right away!'

Alphard blocked his ears and continued to copy Professor Tangent's notes, ignoring Selene. She rolled her eyes.

'_So_ immature,' she muttered.

'Says she who blows up people's drinks in their faces for a laugh.'

Selene pursed her lips.

'I have a proposition for you.'

'Oh? I'm all ears,' he retorted.

'How about we agree never to speak to each other in this class again?'

Alphard laughed.

'Sure- you're the one who started talking to me, though. I've merely been trying to get you to shut up all this time.'

Selene glared at him and, the next thing he knew, his notes were on fire.

* * *

'Miss Asteria,' Professor Dumbledore said pleasantly, smiling at Selene as she trudged into his office. 'To what do I owe the pleasure?'

'Alphard Black is an insufferable boy. He has no _proof_ that I set his notes on fire. If you check my wand for the last spell I used, it would not be an Igniting Charm.'

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow and Selene continued-

'Professor Tangent sent me here to you because, apparently, he 'can't deal with' me anymore,' she sighed, rolling her eyes as she sunk in the chair opposite her Head of House's desk.

'Ah,' Dumbledore said lightly, reading the parchment which Professor Tangent had sent along with her. 'And… how was Mr Black irritating you?'

'He… he wouldn't accept my apology,' Selene said through gritted teeth.

'Oh?'

'Yes. I was trying to _apologise_ to him for a harmless little prank which I played on him last year- trying to be _civil_, seeing as I was made to sit next to him- and he wouldn't accept it.'

Professor Dumbledore frowned.

'And why were you made to sit next to Mr Black?'

Selene bit her lip and looked down.

'Because I was talking to a friend in class, sir,' she mumbled.

'Ah, I see,' Dumbledore said softly.

Selene looked up at him.

'Are you going to give me detention, sir?'

Dumbledore sighed.

'Well that depends entirely on whether it will teach you to be more attentive in class or not.'

'I promise it won't happen again, sir,' Selene said earnestly.

Dumbledore's lips twitched.

'Ah, Selene,' he sighed. 'How many times have I heard that exact phrase from you?'

Selene frowned and Dumbledore smiled at her.

'My dear child, you have to understand that teaching is a very demanding task and us Professors- we make it our life's work to try imparting our knowledge to our students as best we can. So you can understand that when we see students being inattentive or disruptive in our classes, it is not only insulting to our dedication but also a lack of appreciation for all our hard work.

Selene looked miserable and Dumbledore nodded.

'Come now, I am not saying this to upset you, but because it is the truth.'

Selene nodded.

'I know, sir. I'm sorry, sir.'

'Please- apologise to Professor Tangent, not me. After all, it is his class which you interrupted. You have mine this afternoon to interrupt,' Dumbledore added with a twinkle in his eye.

Selene smiled and got up.

'Thank you, sir. It won't happen again.'

'Oh, and Selene?'

Selene turned at the door.

'Yes?'

'I think it would be _advisable_ if you tried to control your wandless magic. I think it's best if you kept that gift quiet.'

Selene frowned.

'Sir?'

But Dumbledore merely smiled serenely.

'I shall see you after lunch for Transfiguration,' he nodded, dismissing her.

* * *

'Wow. Talk about making you feel guilty,' Malkin said, impressed.

'It was horrible,' Selene sighed, lying back on her bed. 'I wish he had just given me detention. Now I can't talk in his class ever again- or get sent to him for not listening.'

Malkin grinned.

'Well, you _do _have a knack for being both inattentive and a little cheeky. Which, given your upbringing, I must say is rather surprising.'

Selene pouted.

'Just because I'm an orphan, it doesn't mean that I have to be a depressing, psychotic lunatic like Tom is.'

Malkin pursed her lips at the mention of Tom.

'Hey… Malkin?'

'Yes?'

'Dumbledore said something really strange to me as I was leaving. He said that I should keep my wandless magic a secret. Why would he say that?'

Selene looked up to see that Malkin was chewing her lip undecidedly.

'Well?'

'It's not a very common gift to have. Whilst some wizards and witches can use wandless magic in times of distress, very few have ever been able to consciously control it.'

Selene frowned.

'Why didn't you tell me this before?'

Malkin sighed, but then grinned.

'And inflate your ego even more, Miss Asteria?'

Selene laughed and threw her pillow at Malkin. They both stopped abruptly, however, as the door opened and Augusta and Muriel walked in.

'They suspect her parents?' Augusta asked Muriel, shock evident on her features.

Muriel nodded.

'Yes. Child abuse- her symptoms all correlate with the Cruciatus Curse.'

Augusta gasped and both Malkin and Selene sat up suddenly.

'Cruciatus Curse?' Malkin repeated in a faint whisper. 'Esther?'

Muriel nodded grimly.

'So it would seem. And given that her memory of the event has been modified by such a strong and powerful charm, the only plausible conclusion is that it must have been her parents.'

Selene's eyes widened.

'That's _terrible_!'

They all nodded.

'Her parents have been taken to the High Wizarding Court to face the Wizengamot.'

They all fell silent as they processed the news.

'What about Esther, though?' Malkin asked. 'How is she?'

Muriel shook her head sadly.

'Not well. They've transferred her to St Mungo's- she hasn't regained her consciousness since last night.'

'Will she make it?'

Muriel shrugged.

'How should I know?' she said, biting her trembling lip.

They all sighed heavily and were silent for the rest of the evening. Esther was a girl whom everyone liked, and the thought of her never making a recovery was too horrific to contemplate for them.

--

That night, Selene couldn't sleep. All her life, she had dreamed of having parents- wishing that they hadn't died when she was born and that they could come back and save her from the orphanage.

But now, upon hearing that Esther's _own parents_ could have done something so horrific to their own child, she was in shock. Parents were supposed to _love_ their children unconditionally. They were supposed to _be there_ for them no matter what, weren't they?

How could they do such a thing to their own daughter?

She shivered and pulled back her hangings so that she wouldn't have to lie in the dark. She hated the dark and immediately felt calm washing over her as the moon's light shone upon her.

'Esther will be okay,' she reassured herself firmly. 'She will be. And school will be normal again once she's recovered.'

And, repeating this mantra to herself, her eyelids began to flutter as she drifted off to an uneasy sleep.

* * *

At first, Tom was surprised at how much his Cruciatus Curse seemed to have affected Esther. Now that there was talk of her being close to death, however, he was livid-

He had failed. He had gone _too far._

He hadn't tortured Esther merely because she was a half-blood, nor did he need the practise of using Cruciatus Curses.

No. He had used the Curse because he wanted to practise it in _small doses_ so that, should he one day require someone to give him vital information, he could give them a few short tweaks of the Curse to force them to divulge.

Evidently with Esther, however, he had gone too far. This annoyed him, because it meant he had failed, and Tom Riddle hated failure.

Frustrated, he paced his dormitory and, upon deciding that he wasn't going to sleep that night, he threw on his cloak and left the dormitory.

It was about time he paid the Chamber of Secrets another visit. He still had a few things to set straight with the Basilisk.

* * *

Selene sighed impatiently as she looked at the clock. She still had an entire _half hour_ of Arithmancy left.

Another thirty minutes of silence.

Selene was a decent enough student when it came to her results. Admittedly, she didn't have to work too hard to maintain her impeccable practical results as practical work seemed to come naturally to her. As did potions.

History of Magic, Arithmancy, and Ancient Runes, however, were exceptions. She was barely passing them and this had everything to do with her inability to concentrate for extended periods of time, and nothing to do with her capability.

She simply _hated_ being made to sit in a chair and listen to the teacher for an entire hour. She had far too much energy for that.

And now that she was made to sit next to he whom she called 'The World's Biggest Bore'- Alphard Black- the class was simply unbearable.

Biting her lip and tapping her foot impatiently, she looked around the room and smiled as she saw Myrtle, a Ravenclaw girl with truly horrible spectacles, copying Professor Tangent's notes meticulously onto her parchment.

She narrowed her eyes as she concentrated on Myrtle's glasses and then…

Myrtle sat up in surprise as her glasses snapped into two and fell onto her parchment.

'Oh no!' Myrtle sighed quietly, feeling around her robes for her wand.

Suddenly, there was giggling from another corner in the room and Myrtle looked up.

'Surely you're not going to _repair_ those hideous frames, Myrtle,' Olive Hornby laughed. 'Even the _glasses_ are telling you that you need to replace them.'

Myrtle's brow furrowed as she glared at Olive.

'Olive Hornby, that's enough!' Professor Tangent snapped.

Olive shrugged and, with a final smirk at Myrtle, continued to work on her equations. Professor Tangent short Selene a wary glance before pointing his wand at Myrtle's glasses.

'_Reparo.'_

'Thank you, professor,' Myrtle whispered, putting the frames back on her face.

Selene suddenly felt a horrible wave of remorse overcoming her as she watched how Myrtle's lip was trembling and how she continued to wipe her eyes whenever she thought no one was watching…

Had she never broken Myrtle's glasses for her own amusement, Myrtle would be happily continuing on with taking her notes.

Selene stood up abruptly and Professor Tangent sighed.

'What is it now, Miss Asteria?' he snapped.

'I… I need to go to the bathroom,' Selene lied unconvincingly.

But Professor Tangent had long ago given up on her and he merely waved his hand, dismissing her.

Selene walked slowly through the corridor of the third floor until she came to the bathroom. As soon as she opened the door, her eyes widened in horror.

'Oh yes, harder! Harder!'

'You like it rough, don't you, you little slut?'

Selene blinked as she stared at the cubicle door which looked as though it was about to burst open.

Suddenly, there was a grunt and a scream.

'Oh _baby_, that was _so good,_' the girl purred. 'Let me finish you off…'

Selene grimaced in disgust and decided to go to the second floor. It took her a few moments to forget what she had just heard.

Selene sank down on the floor of her the bathroom cubicle and closed her eyes tiredly.

She didn't want to face reality and she hated being bored because it was then when she started to question her own existence and her lack of family…

She shook her head, refusing to think of such things- yes, she had been the catalyst in Myrtle being humiliated by Olive, but Olive was the one who had been cruel, not she.

After all, _she_ hadn't made fun of Myrtle- she had merely played a harmless trick on her.

Selene sighed and decided that there was no use in her feeling depressed over what she couldn't change anymore. Glancing at her watch, she saw that she had another twenty minutes of class and decided to take a nap until the period was over.

* * *

Tom knocked on the door, keeping an eye out for anyone walking by, and briskly strode into the bathroom. He was relieved to see that all the cubicles were shut…

He clenched his fists. He could not understand why there always seemed to be _someone _who insisted upon hindering his plans.

Angry, he went up to the cubicle and rapped smartly on the door.

There was no response.

'Hello?' he repeated, knocking again.

Still no response.

He sighed and decided he had no choice but to unlock the door and check to see if anyone indeed _was_ inside the cubicle.

'_Alohomora'_

The door swung open and, to his shock, none other than Selene (who had been sleeping against the door) slumped to the ground at his feet.

Her brow furrowed as she started to rouse and he reacted in a split second-

'_Stupefy'_

She became limp again and Tom stared at her. He hated her- possibly more than anyone else he knew. She was nothing but a filthy mudblood and always tried to foil any plans he had against the other orphans at the orphanage.

Perhaps he would revive her once he had returned from the Chamber with the basilisk and finish her off- once and for all.

He smiled as he pondered the idea. It was a _very_ attractive thought.

But as he continued to watch her, lying at his feet, he felt something resisting this thought inside of him. It was a foreign feeling- a certain tightness in his chest.

He let out an exasperated sigh and pushed her back into the cubicle and shut the door. He wouldn't kill her today. It would be too easy and, although she was a mudblood, she was a special case.

When he killed her, he wanted it to be perfect.

And with that happy thought playing through his mind, he walked over to the sink, located the snake, and hissed the magic words-

'_Open up.'_

* * *

The school had never been in such hysteria. During the ten minute break between classes, five muggle-born students had been found. They all wore expressions of pure horror and their bodies were stiff as boards.

They had been petrified.

'That's enough! _Enough_!' Professor Slughorn called over the crying and terrified students in the corridor. 'Fifth year Gryffindor and Ravenclaw Potion students, to class immediately. The same goes for the rest of you- all off to class!'

The class filed into the Dungeons silently.

'Now,' Slughorn began, looking very flummoxed, 'It is true. Five students have been found to be petrified.'

'From what, professor?' Muriel asked, her voice shaking. 'Who or what could have done such a thing?'

The professor looked very uncomfortable.

'We don't know. If it was a person- that would entail _very_ high class magic. It seems more likely that it was some creature…'

The class broke out into frightened murmurings at this.

'_But_,' Slughorn called over them, 'We can't be certain until more investigations have been conducted. Now, we must press on- your OWLS, after all, are steadily approaching- and…'

'Where's Selene?' Alphard suddenly interrupted, looking around.

Malkin stood up abruptly, her eyes wide.

'Oh Merlin… she went to the bathroom…'

She and Alphard stared at each other before they both bolted to the door.

'Oh no, oh no, oh no…' Malkin cried as they ran up the flights of stairs to the third floor.

They paused when they saw the 'Out of Order' sign on the door.

'Second floor?' Malkin suggested.

'Are you sure she went to the bathroom and wasn't skivving off and going somewhere else?' Alphard asked tensely as they ran down to the second floor.

'Who knows?' Malkin said tearfully.

Alphard nodded and they both sprinted as they approached the Girls' Second Floor bathrooms.

'Selene!' Malkin screamed as they burst into the bathroom.

There was silence and they both stared at the only cubicle door which was shut. Malkin walked up to it, her breathing very unsteady.

'H…hello?' she asked timidly, knocking on the door.

There was no response and she and Alphard stared at each other.

'Here,' Alphard said, taking out a pocket knife and putting it in the key hole.

The door clicked open and Selene, once again, fell to the ground.

Malkin sunk to the floor, crying as she shook her friend.

'Oh no,' she cried. 'Not you too.'

Alphard stared in shock at Selene. He may have disliked the girl, but he had never wanted _this_ to happen to her.

After a minute, however, he realised that something wasn't quite right. Selene, unlike the other victims, was not stiff, nor did she look petrified…

He knelt down quickly by her and checked for her pulse.

'Malkin,' he said quietly.

Malkin, however, did not hear him as she continued to cry.

'Malkin,' he said, a little louder.

Malkin looked up at him, tears spilling down her cheeks.

'She's not petrified, and she's definitely alive. We need to get her to the Hospital Wing. Given that the attacks have happened to people who are alone, I think we should carry her together.'

Malkin blinked as she processed the news and then looked down at Selene and laughed unsteadily.

'So she's okay!' she smiled, wiping her eyes.

'That, or something much worse,' Alphard said grimly.

Malkin gulped.

'Come on,' Alphard sighed. 'Let's get her to Madam Nosscomb.'

* * *

Selene was finding it hard to keep her eyes closed and pretend that she was asleep when such an important conversation was being held right at the foot of her bed.

'All muggleborn.'

'All five?'

'Yes.'

'So you don't believe a creature did this?'

'A creature may have caused the petrifications, but I believe someone was behind the attacks in _choosing_ the victims it targeted.'

Selene recognised Dumbledore's voice and was pretty sure that the other belonged to the Headmaster.

There was a moment's silence and Selene strained to hear what the two Professors were whispering. Eventually, Dippet cleared his throat.

'And what about this girl? Why wasn't she petrified?'

'Miss Asteria? She was only stunned. As to why, one can only speculate.'

Dippet lowered his voice once more.

'Perhaps she was behind it and stunned herself to cover her trail?'

Dumbledore gave a low, musical laugh.

'No, I believe you are quite wrong there. This kind of magic would probably have involved translating Ancient Runes and, unless I'm much mistaken, Miss Asteria is quite abysmal at the subject.'

Selene furrowed her brow at this. True, she wasn't _excellent_ at the subject, but neither was she as bad as _abysmal_.

She definitely was going to try harder in Ancient Runes from now on- just to prove Dumbledore wrong.

She cast aside these indignant thoughts and continued to listen.

'So why is she an exception to the rule, then? She's a muggle born, isn't she? From the same orphanage as Tom, I believe.'

There was a tense silence for a while and Selene's mind clicked-

Tom.

It was the sort of manical thing that he would do. He always called her a mudblood and had embraced his Slytherin house's hatred of muggleborns wholeheartedly.

But surely this was beyond even his scope of evil?

'Ah, _Tom_.'

Perhaps Dumbledore was thinking the same thing? For some reason, Dumbledore never seemed to like Tom. Whilst Selene hated him- she had to live with him at the orphanage, after all- she couldn't understand why Dumbledore wouldn't love the model student which Tom was.

'Well?'

'Yes, yes, Miss Asteria is also a muggle born. I can't quite fathom what was going through the attacker's mind when he or she spared her. Perhaps, when Miss Asteria wakes up in a minute or two, she will be able to tell us herself?'

Selene felt her face flushing with embarrassment. How on _earth_ did Dumbledore always know these things.

Deciding that acting was definitely not a career path for her, Selene pretended to yawn and rubbed her eyes to see that Dippet and Dumbledore were watching her. Dumbledore, with a slight twinkle in his eye.

* * *

**So Tom couldn't kill Selene… but will this little softness in him stay for long?**

**Your quote:**

_She will not be petrified, but killed by the Basilisk._

**Until then please review my dears! Nothing makes me happier than reading and responding to your reviews (some people find this sad, and I know it is… but unfortunately this is true). **

**But, in all seriousness, reviews help me a lot and give me a lot of inspiration and encouragement.**

**Love Anya**


	3. Chapter 3: Pluck Out Mine Eyes

_**Love—is anterior to Life—  
Posterior—to Death—  
Initial of Creation, and  
The Exponent of Earth—**_

- **Emily Dickinson**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Pluck Out Mine Eyes**

The school was now gripped in terror.

Every few days, another student would be found to be petrified. Despite the new strict curfew of 8pm, the rule that students were not allowed to leave classrooms without at least two chaperones and the Professors' best attempts to accompany their students wherever they went, there would still be the odd student who would defy the rules.

Even Selene found it hard to smile in such times.

'Do you think it'll come back for me?' she whispered to Malkin.

They were in History of Magic and Selene always made it a point not to pay attention in that class.

'Not if you stick by the school rules, it won't,' Malkin whispered back.

'But do you think it was the same thing or person when I was found to be stunned?'

'I don't know. Surely you can remember _something_, can't you?'

Selene shook her head and chewed her lip.

'Did Alphard notice anything?'

'I don't know. I'm not really on speaking terms with him. Perhaps_ you_ should ask him,' Malkin said pointedly

Selene scoffed.

'Sure- because he and I are _bosom friends_.'

Malkin shrugged.

'He _did_ sort of save you.'

'He did not, Malkin. Stop trying to convince me that he's my 'Prince Charming'.'

'You can't deny that he is very handsome.'

Selene gave an exasperated sigh and looked up at him. She bit her lip as she realised that she had no choice but to agree with Malkin-

His elegant, shiny black hair; his grey eyes…

Which were now looking at her.

Selene and Malkin froze as they stared back at Alphard who, upon looking around the classroom, had noticed that two pairs of eyes watching him.

He raised an eyebrow at them and Selene and Malkin, blushing furiously, quickly looked away.

'Don't ever make me look at him again,' Selene hissed.

Malkin laughed.

'That's okay. Would you mind terribly, then, if I made him my own 'Prince Charming'?'

Selene looked up at Malkin, scandalised.

'You would fraternise with my mortal enemy?'

Malkin shook her head at Selene.

'You can't have two mortal enemies, Selene.'

'Well Tom's probably not even mortal- he's more like this evil hybrid creature which happens to look like a human so he doesn't count.'

Malkin pressed a finger to her lips, looking frightened.

'What?' Selene asked, confused.

'I… I always get a funny feeling whenever we talk about him- like he can _hear_ us.' She shivered. 'I just don't like talking about him.'

'Malkin, he's never actually done anything to you. In fact, I doubt he's so much as looked your way to know that you even exist. Why are _you _scared of him?'

Malkin shook her head.

'I just… there's something about him that makes my blood go cold. Please, can we talk about something else?'

Selene rolled her eyes.

'Fine. Anyway, so even though I don't approve one bit, Alphard Black can be your 'Prince Charming'.'

Malkin blushed and, although she said nothing, looked quietly pleased.

* * *

'Is there something wrong?'

Selene looked up, shocked that Alphard Black had actually _spoken_ to her.

'What?'

'You and Malkin kept staring at me last class and I couldn't help becoming a little self-conscious.'

Selene rolled her eyes.

'We were just discussing the bathroom incident, don't flatter yourself.'

'Oh.'

Selene looked at him incredulously. He almost looked… _disappointed_!

'On that note,' she continued, 'you can't think of why I wasn't petrified like all the other victims, can you?'

Alphard looked at her thoughtfully and Selene felt a jolt in her chest as she realised that he was looking straight into her eyes.

But this was too confronting for her and so she looked away quickly, her cheeks tingeing pink.

'I don't know,' he said eventually. 'Maybe the attacker is a boy and fancies you, or something, and couldn't bring himself to petrifying you.'

'Well of _course_ the attacker is a man,' Selene muttered. 'Only a man would think of something so horrific and _pointless_ to wreak upon this school.'

Alphard chuckled, though it was strained- what was happening to the school was no laughing matter.

'We're not all that bad, you know. But now you have me intrigued- who was he who broke your 'fragile heart'?'

Selene cast him an annoyed look.

'No one. It's just that , having grown up with both boys and girls, men always seem to like creating situations of fear so that they can exploit their victims when they're weaker than them which, let's face it, is innate to your nature- men unfortunately still are considered the stronger sex. They thrive on being the dominant one in the relationship with the 'weaker' female.'

Alphard didn't look as though he completely agreed with Selene, but didn't argue either.

'And what about women, then? How would _they_ go about attacks?'

'Women would… they would… I don't know,' she finally admitted. 'I've only seen girls ever pick on other girls, though, so I suppose that goes to show that we know the meaning of the phrase 'pick on someone your own size'.'

Alphard shook his head at Selene.

'For someone who comes across as being so happy most of the time,' he said, 'you have a surprisingly cynical view on people- men in particular.'

'No I don't, actually,' Selene said. 'That's Malkin.'

Alphard raised an eyebrow and glanced back to where Malkin was. When she noticed he was watching her, she blushed furiously.

Alphard grinned.

'Is she your best friend?'

'Yes.'

'Interesting,' he said, smiling as he continued to copy the notes from the chalkboard. Selene shot a sidewards glance at him.

'Why?' she whispered.

'Why what?'

'Why is it interesting?'

He shrugged.

'I've met a few girls in my time, and the best ones always seem to be the most cynical and I don't get it! Why would Malkin- one of Hogwarts' most beautiful and cleverest witches- be cynical about men when most of them fancy her?'

Selene's heart spluttered.

'You think she's beautiful?' she stammered.

'Why, you don't agree?' he laughed. 'Of course she is- look at her! Long dark hair, big black eyes, a wonderful figure, elegant…'

Selene pursed her lips.

'Do you fancy her, then?' she said interrupted.

She wasn't quite sure why her voice sounded so dull as she said it.

Alphard glanced back at Malkin once more and shrugged.

'Perhaps.'

'Perhaps what? It's a yes or no question,' Selene persisted, becoming very irritable.

'Well I'm only sixteen and, frankly, a girl like her is a bit too good for me at the moment- she would be too much effort… but as to whether I fancy her or not- well most boys in the school do. There'd be something wrong with them if they didn't.'

Selene stared at Alphard, at a loss for words and he, deciding that the conversation was over, shrugged and continued to take his notes.

He couldn't help smiling to himself.

* * *

That afternoon, Selene went up to the Girls' Bathroom in her dorm and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Of course Malkin was her friend, but the fact that Alphard had said that all the boys in the school fancied Malkin, without any mention of herself in the scenario, made her question herself.

What had did he like so much in Malkin?

He had said her long, dark hair.

Selene pulled her hair out of its customary bun and it fell in long tendrils down her back, almost to her waist.

She always kept it up- she had to. At the orphanage, children were only allowed to grow their hair long if they kept it up. Otherwise, they had to cut it above their shoulders. Something to do with preventing the spread of lice.

But she didn't have to wear it up at Hogwarts and she wondered why she did. Perhaps she could try wearing it down…

He mentioned Malkin's big, black eyes.

Well, there wasn't much she could do about the fact that her eyes were hazel eyes, but she didn't see why only 'big black eyes' were attractive. Perhaps _Alphard_ had a thing for black eyes, but that wasn't to say that other boys didn't prefer hazel.

Her wonderful figure?

It was true. Malkin was a few inches taller than Selene and Selene was yet to properly fill out in certain areas. It didn't help that the orphanage had kept all the orphans underfed…

Elegant.

And that, Selene decided, was the clincher. Malkin _was_ more mature for her age. She always spoke beautifully, wore expensive and well-tailored clothes, kept all her work pristinely neat…

Compared to Malkin, Selene seemed sloppy and, given that she was always seen around Malkin, must have appeared so to everyone else. Compared to Malkin, she was simply an unremarkable child standing next to an interesting and alluring young woman.

Selene sighed and picked up a tweezer and plucked out a stray hair from her eyebrows.

Malkin would never have allowed that hair to have grown so long.

* * *

_29 May, 1943_

_Diary,_

_Nearly all of the mudbloods are petrified. None, as according to the plan, have been killed. They will be too terrified to return to Hogwarts once they have been cured anyway. This entire exercise was about fulfilling out Salazar Slytherin's true will, not about murder._

_In a few days the mandrake juice will be ready so tomorrow will be our last real chance to round up those final mudbloods. There are three left-_

_Rachel Woodcliff, 1__st__ year Hufflepuff_

_Louise Silas, 4__th__ year, Gryffindor_

_Selene Asteria_

Tom paused as he wrote her name. He had such mixed feelings as to whether he should fulfil his entire plan of eradicating _all _of the mudbloods from Hogwarts. He hated a job half done.

He paused and continued to write.

_Selene Asteria will not be petrified as it is almost certain she will return to Hogwarts after she has been administered the mandrake juice. After all, the only other place she has to go is the orphanage and she is too full of that foolish 'Gryffindor courage' to be put off by such an incident._

He paused again. His job would not be complete if she were to remain at Hogwarts.

But could he actually _kill_ her? Did he hate her _that _much?

He thought of all the plans she had foiled of his and clenched his fists. Yes, yes, he did.

_Selene Asteria will be the one exception to the original plan. She will not be petrified, but killed by the Basilisk._

He sighed and shut his diary with a snap, muttering a clearing charm on it so that only he would be able to read the words he had written.

It was a shame that he wouldn't be the one to kill her himself- through his own hand- but the Basilisk was his tool so, effectively, it would count as him killing her.

But the thought wasn't quite satisfactory to him. He thought that killing her should be a more _significant_ event…

But then he realised that killing her, albeit through the Basilisk, _would _be significant-

She would be his first kill.

* * *

Tom woke up on May 30th feeling adrenaline rushing through his veins. Today was the day.

Mudbloods would no longer pervade the castle after today.

And Selene would be dead.

He tried not to think of her too much as he combed his black hair and fixed his uniform so that it looked pristine. After tidying all his possessions so that they were perfectly arranged, he walked briskly down to the Great Hall.

Today was a celebratory day. He would eat a good breakfast.

--

'Oh, Tom, there you are.'

Even Morticia didn't annoy him today and he even smiled at her as she sat next to him at breakfast. Morticia herself was fine- she was smart, a pureblood, and kept to herself mostly. She just took her Prefect badge far too seriously, however, and was always trying to get Tom involved in their 'Prefect duties.'

And this annoyed him.

'How can I help you, Morticia?' he asked politely.

Morticia blinked. She was not used to such politeness from Tom.

'Can I pour you some pumpkin juice?'

She seemed at a loss for words.

'Uh…. Yes, okay. Thanks, Tom.'

He smiled.

'It's nothing. Now, did you want to discuss Prefect duties?'

'Um, yes,' Morticia nodded, blushing as Tom looked her in the eye. 'Yes, I wanted, um…'

'Well I have arranged a meeting with Professor Slughorn for tomorrow evening. Is that convenient with you?'

'You… have?' Morticia said in disbelief.

'Yes. You asked me to and I did. I said I would, didn't I?'

'Yes,' Morticia blushed, looking down at her goblet and taking a sip. 'I just didn't think…'

'That I would?' Tom offered, raising an eyebrow.

Morticia looked frightened.

'Oh, no, not that… I just thought you wouldn't have arranged it so soon.'

Tom shrugged.

'Well I did.'

'Thanks, Tom.'

'You're welcome.'

Morticia blushed more deeply and seemed at a loss for words. Thankfully, Tom had already finished his breakfast and he spared her from further embarrassment.

'Well, I'm off. Enjoy your day,' he said brightly, getting up and leaving the table.

He slowed his pace as he walked past the other tables and noted that Rachel Woodcliff and Louise Silas were still eating. He think looked around for Selene and saw her running for the Great Hall door, looking flustered.

He quickened his pace.

'Forgotten something, have we?'

Selene froze and turned from her step on the Great Staircase to stare at Tom. He smiled as he saw how rigid her spine became.

'What do you want, Tom?' she said stiffly.

Tom raised an eyebrow and walked up to where she was. He didn't like her looking down at him.

'You look like a mess.'

Selene's face faltered and he smirked at how the comment seemed to have cut her.

She quickly gained her composure.

'I don't need to talk to you. Especially not today, of all days.'

Tom's eyes widened as he remembered that today was her birthday.

How fitting.

'Surely you don't plan on _celebrating_ the day you made an unwelcome entry to the world,' he drawled.

Selene's eyes flashed.

'You know, Tom,' she said loudly. 'For all your taunts to me, your entry to this world was just as unwelcome. Didn't your mother _abandon_ you at the orphanage? At least my parents died to leave me in the orphanage.'

There was silence and this taunt seemed to echo through the stairs. A group of students stopped and stared at them, having heard her remark, but then quickly hurried away.

And Tom couldn't breathe.

He was so furious that he wanted to reach over and choke the life out of her with his bare hands. Even _magic_ wasn't enough- he wanted to physically _feel_ the life seeping out of her. To _experience_ her struggle as she slowly died…

He blinked and saw that Selene now smirking at him.

'See you later, _Tom_,' she said flippantly, running off.

And he merely stood there, rooted to the spot, as he watched her running up the stairs. It would have been so easy- a simple flick of the wand to send her crashing to her death…

But he didn't move a muscle and, by the time he did, she was already gone.

--

He couldn't focus. Rage continued to boil up inside of him, churning his insides as he stormed all the way to the Girls' Bathroom. He didn't even see that there was someone in the far cubicle as he hissed at the sink to open.

The rest went very quickly; him fetching the basilisk, making their way back to the bathroom…

He would have missed the cubicle again had the basilisk not stopped and told him that there was someone in the bathroom.

Tom paused as he surveyed the closed door. It was the same one that Selene had been sleeping in when the attacks had started.

Perhaps she was in the cubicle again?

He smiled grimly. He would have his vengeance much sooner than he had expected.

'Selene,' he called.

'What?' a voice responded. 'Go away.'

He was too blinded by the prospect of having his revenge to notice that the voice was nothing like Selene's. Feeling possessed, he pointed his wand at the door, the snake ready as it slithered to be next to him.

'_Alohomora.'_

She looked up tearfully. Her glasses were once again broken in her hands and, before Tom could realise that she was the wrong girl, she had frozen and collapsed to the floor.

Dead.

Just like that.

* * *

Tom couldn't remember how he ended up under that yew tree. His memory of everything since Myrtle's death was blank.

Myrtle.

She wasn't even a halfblood! She was a _pureblood_.

He had killed a pureblood.

His eyes widened and he felt his stomach churning as he realised that he had just _killed_ someone and that thought, pureblood or not, was much worse.

Before he could stop himself, he leant over the roots of the tree and threw up.

His heart was pounding so hard he could hear it in his ears and, as he leant against the tree and closed his eyes, he suddenly sprung up as he realised what _kind_ of tree he was sitting against.

Yew- the tree of death.

He ran to the other end of the Great Lake and sat in the sun. Yes, the sun was good- he couldn't be in darkness now.

Darkness was like death.

But he could feel no warmth from the sun, despite the fact that its rays were beating down upon him. He hugged his knees and noticed that he was shaking violently.

'S…snap o..out of i…it,' he stuttered to himself through chattering teeth.

But something else was at play- now his body was taking over and he had no control over it. It was as though something inside of him had been ripped and was trying to escape him.

And then he knelt on all fours as he gasped for air, but he couldn't breathe. He felt his brow breaking into a sweat and his heart palpitating irregularly in his chest as it strived to get some oxygen.

'Tom?'

He couldn't even look up at her. It was meant to be her, but that very thought made all of his symptoms so much worse.

'Merlin, Tom, what's wrong with you?'

She knelt by him and he felt her touching the skin on the back of his neck- her hands cool against his burning skin.

'Tom, have you done something to yourself? Here, look at me.'

She sounded frantic. All he wanted was her to leave, but then the thought of being left alone made him even more frightened.

She lifted his face to look up at her and her eyes widened.

'Tom… your eyes, they're bleeding! What did you do to yourself? Have you been attacked? Can you answer me?'

He moved his lips, but no sound came out. He wondered why she looked so upset- on the verge of tears. She hated him, didn't she?

'Here,' she said, trying to force him to his feet. 'You need to go to Madam Nosscomb.'

Slowly, she helped him to his feet, but he couldn't stand on his own. He needed her to support him as he took the next few steps and that contact and support from another human being made his legs give way once more as he threw up again.

'Oh God. Don't _you_ die as well,' she cried, placing a hand on his shoulders as he continued to wretch.

And then- somehow- it just stopped. His heart slowed down, he no longer had anything to throw up, and he was no longer shaking.

He was a little out of breath, and he felt oddly empty, but he was otherwise fine.

'Tom?' she whispered, offering to help him up.

He slapped her hand away and stood up, stumbling a little as he did. She blinked as she saw him.

'Your eyes aren't bleeding anymore,' she said slowly, taking a step away from him. 'Tom, what did you _do _to yourself?'

He glared at her coldly.

'I do not converse with mudbloods as yourself and _stop_ using my name. Leave before I do to you what I just did to Myrtle.'

It just came out. He didn't even think- or realise- what he had said until he saw the shock in her eyes.

He expected her to run away.

Instead, she shook her head.

'No,' she said adamantly, her eyes tense. 'No, Tom, you didn't kill Myrtle. Something's happened to you and you just _think_ you did. Maybe the attacker confunded you into thinking that you did, but you didn't.'

Tom laughed at her.

'You've always been such a foolish girl, Selene. You've never been able to see evil- even when it's been standing right in front of you.'

She shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.

'No, Tom. You're not evil. I know you're bad, but you're not…'

He stared at her, his eyes hard.

But she couldn't miss that smirk playing on his lips. She had seen it before- when he had been tormenting the other children in the orphanage…'

Her eyes became saucers.

'Esther,' she whispered.

Suddenly, she grabbed the front of his shirt in her fist, her eyes ablaze.

'Her parents never put her through the Cruciatus Curse. It was _you!'_

Tom shrugged, smiling pleasantly. He couldn't understand why he had just reacted so badly to his killing Myrtle. Now, he felt quite proud.

He liked the feeling- the power- it had given him.

She slapped him stingingly across the face and his mouth became a taut line.

'Why?' she screamed at him. 'Why would you do that!'

His eyes narrowed.

'Selene. If you don't be quiet, I will have to do the same to you. Is that what you want? To die as well?'

Selene stared at him and then crossed her arms defiantly.

'Do it, then,' she said simply. 'Kill me.'

He stared at her, unable to believe how relaxed she seemed about the whole concept of dying. She shook her head in disgust at him.

'You're pathetic,' she spat. 'How did you kill her? Walked in on her when she was in the bathroom- catching her unawares? No man-to-man duel for you, Tom. It's always sneaking up on people- picking on people when they're helpless.'

He whipped out his wand and pointed it at her.

'And you?' he asked coldly. 'Are _you_ helpless?'

Selene smiled coldly.

'No, Tom. I'm not and never have been- which is why you've never touched me since the day I set you on fire for trying to steal my yo-yo.'

He lowered his wand and they stared at each other for what must have been an age. Eventually, she looked away.

'So what to you expect me to do now, Tom?' she asked harshly. 'Report you?'

'Oh, it won't come to that,' Tom responded.

He would definitely modify her memory.

Selene's eyes hardened as she stared out at the lake.

'Why are you like this, Tom?' she asked quietly. 'Why didn't you ever try being good? You and I should have been friends- we're both the same. Instead, we're enemies.'

'You are a mudblood,' he snapped impatiently. 'We are anything but the same.'

He didn't have time for this.

Selene shook her head sadly and then turned to look at him. He was repulsed to see that she, yet again, had tears in her eyes.

'I can't do it,' she said, sounding disgusted with herself.

'What?'

'Report you,' she said, throwing up her arms hopelessly. 'I can't. I won't.'

He stared at her, now at a complete loss for words.

'I want to so much,' she continued. 'I want you to suffer- to _burn_- for what you've done to so many people… but I can't be the one to nail you to that cross, Tom. I can't, because then what will become of you?'

She saw the shock in his face and shook her head at him.

'I wish I never knew,' she whispered, tears streaking down her cheeks as she walked past him slowly, heading back to the castle.

Tom's breath caught- that pain was returning in his chest. He wish she had never told him all this. It would have been much easier if she simply hated him and screamed and shouted…

He drew an unsteady breath, trying to ignore the nagging pain in his chest as he pointed his want at her retreating back-

'_Oblivio.'_

She would have her wish. She would never know.

* * *

**A bit of a Selene/Tom moment for you. This was a really interesting chapter for me to write because I had to figure out how to write Tom's first kill and it just sort of happened that it turned out to be an accident for him which he then would later fool himself into thinking was planned. His reaction to me also came naturally- I think doing something like that at such a young age and for his character would have a very shocking physical effect on him... and then I remembered how the horcruxes were described in the books and suddenly JKR seemed so clever in her analogy of death 'splitting' a soul.**

**Your teaser-**

'Don't _touch_me!' she said, her eyes flashing dangerously. 'You're just as bad as Olive with your 'Gross Gertie' and you're always teasing me. Well let me tell you, Alphard Black, I won't let you do what Olive did to Myrtle.'

**Now, I have to say that my review count is far from impressive. Can we do anything to remedy that?**

Love Anya


	4. Chapter 4: A Serpent Stung Me

"_**One little Soldier boy left all alone; **_

_**He went out and hanged himself and then there were none."**_

_- _'And Then There Were None', **Agatha Christie**

**

* * *

**

**A Serpent Stung Me**

Classes had been cancelled and no one was permitted to leave their common rooms. Each Head of House was to remain in the common room with the students to watch guard. No one complained. For the first time, every single student took the attacks very seriously because, although Myrtle wasn't liked, her death had shaken every student to the core.

Especially Olive Hornby.

'She hasn't spoken a single word ever since the news,' Gertrude whispered.

The boys sat in silence and Alphard suddenly noticed how weary Gertrude seemed to be- she had lost weight, her skin was pale and she had bags under her eyes.

'Another Ravenclaw girl,' he wondered aloud.

Everyone looked to him and he chewed his lip.

'At first we thought it was the muggle-borns,' he reasoned.

'Every student who has been petrified was muggle-born,' Keith said.

'True,' Alphard nodded. 'But Myrtle was…'

He paused as Gertrude took a sharp intake of breath at the sound of Myrtle's name.

'Pureblood,' Ryan finished for Alphard.

Alphard nodded.

'Yes.'

'Esther…' Keith said quietly.

Alphard nodded again.

'Do you see? It's the Ravenclaw girls who seem to end up the worst.'

Ryan cleared his throat and nodded towards Gertrude.

'Oh, sorry…um… I'm sure you'll be fine,' Alphard said to Gertrude apologetically.

Gertrude shook her head at him and silently got up and left their group.

'Sometimes, Alphie, you are lacking in tact,' Sean said, shaking his head at Alphard.

Alphard chewed his lip as he watched Gertrude who was pale and shaking as she tried to talk to Olive.

'I'm sure she'll be okay,' he said uncertainly.

--

'Well if this isn't déjà vu.'

The entire Ravenclaw common room was once again filled with dressing-gown-clad students in the middle of the night. This time, however, Gertrude was trying to calm down a screaming Olive Hornby.

'I saw her,' she cried. 'I saw her! She was there! She said it was my fault she died and that she'd haunt me forever...'

Gertrude looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown as she was trying to talk sense into Olive.

'Please, Olive, it was just a dream. Please don't…'

But Olive's shook her head and covered her eyes as she kept on screaming.

'No, no! She was a ghost, I swear! I want to leave! Get me out of this castle… Get me OUT!' she screamed.

Gertrude stared at Olive and then suddenly let go of her and stood up unsteadily.

'I… quit.'

Everyone blinked and Professor Flitwick hurried forward.

'What's going on?' he asked, kneeling down to tend to Olive.

Gertrude shook her head silently.

'I quit. I'm leaving. I should have stayed in muggle school. This is… _too much_.'

Alphard went forward.

'Come on Gertie, don't be…'

'Don't _touch _me!' she said, her eyes flashing dangerously. 'You're just as bad as Olive with your 'Gross Gertie' and you're always teasing me. Well let me tell you, Alphard Black, I won't let you do to me what Olive did to Myrtle.'

Olive gasped in horror.

'But you said…' she whispered.

Gertrude laughed darkly.

'I said, I said…. yes, I _said_, Olive. I said to make you feel better but does anyone care how _I_ feel when you all tease me? When you call me names for trying to look after you all? Olive, I hope you suffer for what you did to Myrtle because she died _crying in a girls' bathroom_ because you were such a _bitch _to her during her entire life at this school. As for the rest of you, you can all just _fuck off_ because I don't want to see you or this stupid school _ever again!'_

And with that, Gertrude stormed up the stairs to her dorm room and slammed the door shut. There was a moment's silence before Olive started hyperventilating again.

'And then there were none,' Ryan whispered as everyone watched with wide eyes as Professor Flitwick, who looked on the verge of a nervous breakdown himself, tried to calm Olive down.

* * *

'Gone?'

Selene was in shock. She couldn't believe that there were no longer Ravenclaw girls left in her year level.

'Hm, so it would seem,' Malkin said grimly, taking out a nail file and fixing her nail.

Selene looked at Malkin in disbelief.

'How can you be filing your nails at a time like this?'

Malkin looked up at Selene.

'What else do you want me to do? We have no classes, no homework left, no exams…. I should at least be immaculately groomed with all this extra spare time.'

Selene sighed and sat back in her armchair.

'What if they close the school? What will become of me?'

Malkin surveyed Selene.

'Do you speak French?'

Selene shook her head at Malkin-

'And you call yourself my best friend. Of course I don't. Where would I have learnt to speak French?'

Malkin shrugged.

'Well I'd probably go to Beauxbatons. You could always go to the Salem Academy for Witches and Wizards.'

Selene looked at Malkin sadly.

'But then we wouldn't be together anymore. We'd all be split up.'

Malkin nodded.

'I know, but what else can we do?'

Selene chewed her lip.

'I don't know that I'd go,' she said quietly.

'What?'

Selene shook her head.

'I couldn't afford to be constantly going back and forth from England to America. I'd just stay at the orphanage as I always would have had Hogwarts never come along.'

Malkin stared at Selene.

'And just give up witchcraft?' she whispered in disbelief.

Selene's eyes became hard and she crossed her arms.

'Whatever or whoever has been the cause of all this had better stop,' she said bitterly. 'They're ruining my life and it's not fair. I don't ask for much- I don't ask that my parents come back to life, or that I become rich or that I become beautiful like you. All I ask is that I can continue on with an education which I am evidently suited to. Is it too much to expect that life can give me at least that?'

Malkin opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it and sighed. Selene, seeing this, gave a tight smile and waved her hand at her hangings, causing them to draw around her bed. She couldn't remember a time when she had wanted to be alone from Malkin but now, for the first time, she really felt the sting of their disparaging circumstances and, although she hated the thought, she realised that Malkin and she would never be the 'friends forever' they had always said they would be.

* * *

'Are you okay?'

Selene looked up to see Alphard approaching her. She gave a half smile and shrugged.

'Sure. What are you doing here? Aren't you meant to be in your common room?'

Alphard raised an eyebrow at her.

'The same could be said for you, _mademoiselle_.'

Selene looked down.

'I wanted to be alone,' she said quietly. 'I'm claustrophobic and the common room is always packed these days.'

Alphard nodded.

'I guess so- but why not just hide in your dorm?'

Selene's eyes narrowed.

'People can find you there,' was all she offered.

Alphard shrugged.

'Mind if I sit next to you, or would I be intruding too much upon your solitude?'

Selene's stony expression cracked a little.

'No, I don't mind,' she said, moving over on her ledge as Alphard sat next to her.

'Well, in case you were wondering,' Alphard said, rummaging through his pockets and pulling out a cigarette case, 'I was in the kitchens. For some reason I had a very strong craving for éclairs.'

Selene shook her head at him.

'And you'd risk your life for an éclair?' she said in disbelief.

'It was a very good éclair and my craving was quite intense. Now that it has been satisfied, I think I could die a happy man,' he grinned, winking at her.

Selene laughed and couldn't help blushing as she noticed how his grey eyes seemed to sparkle when he joked.

'Cigarette?' he said, offering her his cigarette case.

'No thanks, I don't smoke.'

'Good for you. Apparently it's not the best thing for your health, but I figure that Healing is so good these days that they'll find a cure for whatever smoking does to my body,' he shrugged, lighting a cigarette up.

Selene surveyed him.

'What?' he asked, noticing her watching him.

'You're quite a relaxed person, aren't you?'

He raised his eyebrows.

'Well, I'm not stressed out at the moment, if that's what you're…'

'No, I mean that generally not much seems to stress you out- like the fact that you're thinking about éclairs when Hogwarts might be closed forever.'

Alphard's eyes hardened.

'I don't like to make situations worse than they are. Just because I'm not openly crying about it, it doesn't mean that I don't care that Hogwarts…'

Selene shook her head.

'I wasn't saying it was a bad thing, or anything,' she hastily interjected. 'I think it's a good thing if you can still find some light in bad situations. I was just commenting, that's all.'

Alphard watched her, not looking very convinced. Seeing this, Selene blushed and stood up.

'I… I think I should get back now. Malkin might wonder where I am…'

Alphard nodded and stubbed his cigarette out on the window sill.

'I'll walk you,' he said, standing up.

'Oh, you don't have to do that,' Selene stammered awkwardly.

'No, I don't _have_ to,' Alphard said, his lips twitching, 'But if you think about it, there aren't many things in life which we _have _to do.'

Selene chewed her lip, not knowing what to respond to this and he laughed.

'You're very easy to embarrass.'

'No I'm not!' Selene retorted indignantly.

Alphard laughed as they began walking.

'You are. I mean, I know my charming good looks must have _something_ to do with it, but it's been blush after blush for you ever since I came.'

Selene blushed again and he chuckled. Frustrated, she clapped her palms to her burning cheeks.

'It's not you,' she muttered dejectedly. 'It's the castle- it's too hot.'

'Selene, my dear, it's hailing outside. You can hardly describe tonight as being a balmy summer's evening.'

Selene sighed, feeling very frustrated, and crossed her arms and pursed her lips.

They walked in silence for a minute or so-

'You're also very easily annoyed, it seems,' Alphard added lightly.

Selene stopped walking and then turned to face Alphard.

'I'm actually quite pleasant usually, and no I do _not_ have some form of blushing disorder. It's just you and your ridiculous arrogance which grates on my nerves.'

Alphard blinked in surprise.

'Do I actually annoy you? I thought we were joking?'

Selene glowered.

'You're toeing the line so I'd watch it if I were you.'

Alphard rolled his eyes.

'Surely you can at least take a few light jokes!'

Selene crossed her arms.

'It's alright for you- you'll get to continue on with your education at Beauxbatons or Durmstrang or wherever your family sends you, but if Hogwarts closes down, that's it for me- all I have to go back to is that orphanage- so you'll excuse me if I'm not in a joking mood at present.'

Alphard looked down.

'I'm sorry,' he said quietly. 'I didn't realise you were so upset.'

Selene sighed.

'It doesn't matter. Just… I think I need my space. Thanks for walking me, but I'd like to be alone for a bit.'

Alphard looked up at her and she couldn't understand why her breath caught the moment he looked into her eyes, or why she suddenly felt so guilty for over-reacting to his jokes. Before she could say anything, however, he had turned around and was walking back in the opposite direction to his common room.

Sighing, Selene rubbed her eyes tiredly and continued on her way to the common room.

As she turned the corner, she suddenly felt very cold and pulled her cloak around her shoulders more tightly.

'Too hot in this castle? It's freezing!' she muttered, shaking her head at herself for making up such a pathetic excuse. 'Stupid Alphard Black. I can't seem to think properly around him- it's no wonder my arithmancy mark is so poor. After all, I'm made to sit _next_ to him in the sodding class!'

* * *

It had taken Tom a week following Myrtle's death to return to the Chamber. At first, he had been put off thinking of the project as a whole- the thought of death had shaken him thoroughly.

It wasn't _Myrtle's_ death that had frightened him, nor did it matter to him anymore that he had been the hand in her death.

No, it was the fact that death was so _easy._ He had always envisaged it as involving some form of struggle in which he surely could defend himself…

But Myrtle's death had happened so suddenly that he was now forced to rethink his views on death and his own mortality.

After all- if death was so easily, what was to stop someone or something else from killing him?

The idea certainly terrified him now. He feared death above all else.

But business was business and so, now that a week had passed, he finally decided that it was time to press on with his mission of eradicating all mudbloods from his beloved school.

His target for today was Louise Silas.

He knew that she was courting Richard Simms, a fifth year in Hufflepuff. Getting her to come out of her Gryffindor hidey-hole, therefore, was quite simple. All he had to do was forge a love letter in Richard's hand which quoted revoltingly romantic poetry from a poet named John Donne, followed by statements of how sorely he had missed her and how he would be driven to do something very rash very soon should he not see her that afternoon.

Tom had laughed when he received her reply only five minutes after his sending the letter. It was a very hastily written scrawl of three words- 'when and where?'

And so now he was waiting for her.

Suddenly, the Basilisk moved-

'She is coming,' it hissed.

'Well take care that you don't kill this one,' Tom hissed back curtly. 'Otherwise, they'll close the school down and then they'll either kill you, or you'll be shut back up in the Chamber.'

The Basilisk hissed angrily.

'We had a deal for freedom,' it hissed, venom dripping from its fangs.

'And you'll get your end of the bargain provided that you do everything I say,' Tom snapped.

The Basilisk hissed again, but did not argue.

Suddenly, the Basilisk tensed again.

'So close. We must move now.'

Tom swallowed and faintly registered that his hands were shaking and his brow was sweating.

'Okay,' he nodded. 'Go. And remember- no killing!'

He closed his eyes, feeling a little dizzy as the Basilisk slithered past him. Suddenly, there was the start of a scream which then turned into a gasp and a thud.

'Is it done?' Tom hissed.

'Yes, master,' the snake responded. 'She is petrified, but not dead.'

Tom walked past the Basilisk to where Louise's stiffened form was lying and, after checking her pulse, stood up and nodded, feeling satisfied.

'Very well. You've done well. Now we only have one other to petrify…'

'Someone is approaching,' the Basilisk interrupted.

'How close?' Tom asked sharply.

'It is too late to hide. Shall I petrify them too?'

Tom took a deep breath and hoped with every fibre of his being that it wasn't Dumbledore. He was sure that he would find some way of evading the Basilisk's stare and, consequently, find him out.

But the form which turned around the corner was not Dumbledore's. It was too small- too feminine…

And when she finally came into the light, his breath caught.

But, this time, he was too late and she had already seen the reflection of the Basilisk in the mirror on the wall by the time he had realised who she was.

'She is the other mudblood you showed me. Is she the last, then? I finally have my freedom!' the Basilisk hissed, sounding ecstatic.

'No!' Tom responded harshly, running up to Selene. 'She was the wrong one. She wasn't meant to be petrified.'

'But she is a mudblood- you pointed her out to me the day before that girl died.'

Tom whipped out his wand and pointed it at the Basilisk, keeping his eyes shut.

'Go back to the Chamber and wait there until I give you further instructions. This girl was the _wrong one_. There is another. You shall make no further moves until _I _say so, do you understand?' he said in a cold fury.

There was an angry snap of a jaw, and Tom flinched, but then sighed in relief as the Basilisk slithered back into the Girls' Bathroom.

He looked to Selene briefly, but then quickly followed the Basilisk into the bathroom and hissed for the Chamber to '_close_' after the Basilisk- that snake wanted freedom too badly to be trusted.

With shaking hands, he washed his face and went back to where Selene and Louise's stiffened forms lay. This time, however, he quickly walked away to his dormitory without a second glance at them.

He could not be associated with their petrifications.

* * *

'Oh my…Malkin... Malkin!'

Malkin's head appeared from behind the shower curtain.

'What? What is it?' she asked, annoyed that her shower had been interrupted by Muriel.

'It's Selene,' Muriel gasped. 'She's been found… petrified!'

Malkin's face became chalk white.

'She's…. petrified?' Malkin whispered.

Muriel nodded sadly.

Malkin blinked slowly and then, suddenly, ripped away the hangings, grabbed her bathrobe and tore out of the bathroom, not caring that she had left the shower on or that she still had shampoo in her hair.

'Malkin, may I ask where you are going?'

Malkin tried to push past Dumbledore, but he held out a restraining arm and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't resist his strength.

'Selene,' she screamed, hitting him in a bid to set herself free, 'I need to see…'

'Malkin, please calm down. If you do not, I shall have to sedate you.'

Malkin hit the professor one last time before sinking to the ground and sobbing.

'She's my best friend, professor. Please! I have to see her!'

Professor Dumbledore surveyed her sadly.

'I understand, Malkin. But there is nothing you can do for her until the Mandrakes are ready which they should be in two or three days. Now, why don't you go back to your dormitory with Muriel, finish washing your hair, and then I'll see what I can do about arranging a visit for you?'

Malkin stared ahead, her eyes blank and miserable, but did not resist when Muriel hurried forward and helped her back to their dormitory.

--

With shampoo no longer in her hair, and now properly dressed, Malkin approached Selene's bed tentatively. Dumbledore said that she would be allowed an hour to sit with her friend.

When she saw Selene lying there, her eyes wide with fright and her body stiff, however, Malkin ran back to the door, not wanting to see her friend in such a state.

She gasped in shock as she ran into someone's chest.

'Malkin?'

Malkin gasped as she saw Alphard.

'Alphard? What are you doing here?'

Alphard looked down, his cheeks tingeing.

'I heard about Selene and just wanted to see if she was okay. I think I might have been the last person to see her before- you know.'

Malkin blinked and took a step away from Alphard suspiciously.

'Why would that be?' she asked sharply.

Alphard shrugged.

'She was sitting by herself as I walked past her and so I stopped for a chat. I walked her half-way back to your common room but then I think I said something which must have made her angry because she said that she wanted to be alone so I left her.'

He sighed wearily and sat down in a chair by Selene's bed and looked at her sadly.

'I shouldn't have left her. Maybe if I hadn't, this wouldn't have happened.'

As Malkin saw how Alphard was watching Selene, she suddenly felt much less concern for her friend's wellbeing and something which felt like… jealousy?

She sat down abruptly in the chair next to Alphard and put her face in her hands and sniffed a few times.

'Malkin, are you…don't cry, she'll be okay,' Alphard softly, placing a hand on her shoulder.

Malkin smiled a little and sniffed again.

'I just…don't…she's my best friend,' she stammered.

She felt Alphard taking her hands away from her face and she turned her face away.

'Hey,' he said gently, using his index finger to lift her chin to face him.

Slowly, she turned her face and looked up at him and her breath caught.

He thought she was still crying.

'Don't cry,' he whispered, his eyes fixing on hers intently. 'She'll be fine. She'll wake up in a few days.'

Malkin had never felt like this about a boy before, let alone finding herself in such close proximity to the boy she felt like this about. All she could do was swallow as she continued to look up into Alphard's eyes.

It was inevitable.

Slowly, their lips inched towards each other until they met and, for a few moments, Malkin felt as though she was in heaven.

But it was when she opened her eyes and saw Selene's petrified form that she came crashing very quickly down from her personal paradise. She quickly pushed Alphard away from her and ran out of the Hospital Wing as fast as she could, not listening to his calls that she come back lest she also get attacked.

She had just betrayed her best friend and knew that there was no going back now.

* * *

**Did Any of you see this coming? What will happen when Selene wakes up and finds that her friend has been getting very busy in her absence?**

'_Selene! You don't like me, do you? I'm just the next best thing to Selene aren't I? You were so worried just now that Selene might love Tom Riddle… why else would you be worried if you weren't in love with her?'_- **Malkin to Alphard**

**And what will become of Hogwarts? A scene known to you all is coming up next chapter-**

'_My dear boy,' said Dippet kindly. 'I cannot possibly let you stay at school over the summer. Surely you want to go home for the holidays?'_

**So please make me happy by reviewing this chapter and I shall try to knuckle down on my assignments so that I can finish the next chapter and update as soon as I can!**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	5. Chapter 5: What Loss Your Honour May

"_**It is a curious sensation: the sort of pain that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling. When your heart is broken, your boats are burned: nothing matters any more. It is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace.**__**" - **_**George Bernard Shaw**

* * *

**What Loss Your Honour May Sustain**

Tom scrunched up what must have been at least his sixth piece of parchment and cracked his knuckles and stretched his arms.

He then sighed and looked back down at his last piece of fresh parchment, dipped his quill in his ink well and began writing again.

_Dear Headmaster Dippet,_

_My name is Tom Marvolo Riddle and I am a 5__th__ year prefect of the Slytherin house. Every summer, I return not to a home but to a muggle orphanage. As you might imagine, I find this setting very destructive to my wizarding education. Furthermore, due to the understandable differences between myself and the other muggle children at the orphanage, I am treated as some kind of freak which I find to be very demeaning and damaging to my self esteem._

Tom cringed at how sickening he was making the letter out to sound, but it had to be done- he wanted to do everything in his power to stay at school.

_It is thus that I am requesting that I be allowed to stay on at school during the summer break. I can assure you I shall be most respectful towards the school property and cause no fuss whatsoever. Should you require payment for my stay at school over the summer or that I complete chores, I will be most happy to make such arrangements. _

_I understand that this letter may come as a surprise to you and my suggestion may be unorthodox, however I could think of nothing worse than returning to that orphanage over the summer and thus put forward to you a most heartfelt request that you grant me permission to stay at my beloved school instead._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Tom Marvolo Riddle_

Tom frowned and rubbed his stiff neck as he read over the letter. He then glanced at the clock and saw that it was 3.30 in the morning.

Deciding that the letter would have to be good enough, he picked up his wand, muttered an invisibility charm, and blew out the dying candle on his desk before sweeping out of the Slytherin common room for the Owlery.

--

Tom was not religious in the slightest form. Whilst the orphanage was run by nuns, he had never paid any attention to their lessons. Nonetheless, if he believed in any form of deity, he would have prayed to them that the Headmaster would grant his request as he watched the tawny school owl fly off into the darkness, carrying his letter.

When the bird was no longer visible, Tom walked off out of the Owlery and down the spiral staircase. When he reached the bottom of the staircase, his ears pricked as he heard a faint giggle, emanating from the staircase.

Curious, he walked back up the staircase and saw two figures sitting in a niche off the staircase, by the window. He frowned at how he could have been so careless as to miss them, but then dismissed this thought and tried to decipher who they were.

One of them- the male one- leant forward and kissed the female one.

'I feel so bad,' the girl said, turning away from the boy.

'Why?' he responded, trying to kiss her again.

'I'm… here, being happy when Selene's in hospital. I feel like I'm being such a bad friend.'

Tom rolled his eyes and went to leave, but then Malkin kept speaking.

'She was acting so strangely ever since Myrtle's death. I… I couldn't understand it, but she kept saying something about Tom under her breath- it seemed as though she was trying to remember something, but couldn't…'

Tom froze. Had his memory charm not been strong enough?

Malkin gave a small laugh, as though she knew she was being silly-

'I know it sounds stupid, but sometimes I wonder if Selene's in love with Tom.'

The boy laughed.

'Selene Asteria in love with Tom Riddle? I don't think so. They hate each other!'

'I know… but she if I say something about him being creepy or weird, she'll come up with some form of strange excuse for him.'

The boy was silent for a while after this comment, but then he spoke-

'Do you really… Selene _wouldn't_, surely!'

Malkin moved away from him.

'She's the one you actually like, isn't she?'

'Eh?'

'Selene! You don't like me, do you? I'm just the next best thing to Selene aren't I? You were so worried just now that Selene might love Tom Riddle… why else would you be worried if you weren't in love with her?'

The boy gave an exasperated sigh and Tom, also fed up with listening to the rubbish Malkin seemed to be spilling in her jealousy, left.

Now, however, he was curious- was Malkin just using his name to test her lover's reaction, or was there some truth in it?

Tom scrunched his nose up in disgust at the thought and decided that Malkin must have just been jealous. Whilst Selene was a mudblood and seemed to have idiotic friends, she herself was surely not such a silly girl as to love him.

That idea was surely ludicrous.

Tom blinked as he suddenly realised that he was in the Hospital Wing, standing by Selene's bed. He had no idea as to why he was here; why he subconsciously walked all the way to the Hospital Wing when his dormitory was on the opposite side of the school.

He smiled a little, thinking how ironic it was that Selene was bathed in the light of the full moon which streamed through the window. After all, that was what she was named after- the goddess of the full moon.

But there was something very chilling in how she looked as well- especially in the dark of the night.

She looked dead.

He sprung up as this thought struck him and he quickly stretched out a hand to touch her arm, just to make sure that she wasn't cold.

He sighed in relief when he felt that her skin was still warm.

'I… You weren't meant to be involved,' he whispered to her. 'You weren't going to give me in about Myrtle and thus I had decided to make you an exception to the mudblood rule. Unfortunately for you, you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. There was nothing I could do, I apologise.'

But she continued to lie there, unable to hear him. He smiled a little and decided that he could almost like Selene when she was mute like this.

He sat down in the chair by her bed.

'I just wrote a letter to Dippet asking to stay here over the summer break. You had better not get any ideas and do the same thing because I know that you'll find a way to thwart all my plans and I'll just spend another summer trying to avoid your very watchful eye.'

He then shrugged.

'But I suppose you wouldn't do that anyway because that would mean that we would finally be separated for the first time and that is something which we've both been waiting for our entire lives, isn't it?'

She continued to lie there, mute, and now he realised that he didn't like her at all like this- she seemed so stupid, not being able to answer him.

Frustrated with both Selene and the Basilisk, Tom stood up abruptly from the chair and swept out of the Hospital Wing.

* * *

The next day, Tom received a reply to his letter. His heart leapt hopefully, but then sank when it only suggested a meeting-

_Dear Tom,_

_Please come to my office this evening at around 7pm. Make sure that a Professor is there to accompany you to my office. I would like to discuss your letter with you in person._

_Kind Regards,_

_Professor Dippet_

--

At precisely 7 pm, Tom knocked on the Headmaster's door.

'Enter.'

Tom took a deep breath and entered the office. He took off his pointed hat as he did so, conscious to apply every single rule of wizarding etiquette in this meeting

'Ah, Riddle,' Dippet said, placing down his quill.

Tom felt his heart beating erratically in his chest.

'You wanted to see me, Professor Dippet?' Tom asked, his voice higher than his normal pitch in his nervousness.

'Sit down,' said Dippet. 'I've just been reading the letter you sent me.'

'Oh,' Tom said. There was something in Dippet's tone which did not inspire anywhere near as much confidence as Tom would have liked.

He sat down, gripping his hands together very tightly.

'My dear boy,' said Dippet kindly. 'I cannot possibly let you stay at school over the summer. Surely you want to go home for the holidays?'

'No,' Tom responded immediately, clenching his fists. He knew that he was foolish to hope that Dippet might be understanding. Of course a foolish Headmaster who allowed _mudbloods_ learn at a school of magic would never understand…

'I'd much rather stay at Hogwarts than go back to that- to that-'

He couldn't say it. His hopes had been shattered so disastrously now.

'You live in a Muggle orphanage during the holidays, I believe?' Dippet said curiously.

That word stung so deeply that Tom couldn't help blushing in shame.

'Yes, sir,' he mumbled.

'You are Muggle-born?'

Tom's eyebrows raised dangerously. How _dare_ Dippet suggest that he was a mudblood?!

'Half-blood, sir,' he responded carefully. 'Muggle father, witch mother.'

'And are both your parents-?'

'My mother died just after I was born, sir. They told me at the orphanage she lived just long enough to name me: Tom after my father, Marvolo after my grandfather.'

It made him feel physically ill to recount his shameful origins, but his situation was now desperate- he had to do whatever he could to inspire sympathy in the headmaster.

His heart rose hopefully as Dippet clucked his tongue sympathetically.

'The thing is, Tom,' he sighed, 'special arrangements might have been made for you, but in the current circumstances…'

'You mean all these attacks, sir?' Tom interrupted.

'Precisely,' said the headmaster. 'My dear boy, you must see how foolish it would be of me to allow you to remain at the castle when term ends. Particularly in the light of the recent tragedy… the death of that poor little girl… you will be safer by far at your orphanage. As a matter of fact, the Ministry of Magic is even now talking about closing the school. We are no nearer locating the-er-source of all this unpleasantness…'

Tom's eyes widened as he was suddenly struck by the consequences of his actions-

He had opened the Chamber of Secrets to eradicate mudbloods from Hogwarts, but now it seemed that his plan had spiralled out of control to the point where neither pureblood nor mudblood would be able to attend the school.

And the thought of Hogwarts- his only safe haven- being closed down forever, was too much.

'Sir- if this person was caught… If it all stopped…'

'What do you mean?' Dippet said, with a squeak in his voice, sitting up in his chair. 'Riddle, do you mean you know something about these attacks?'

'No, sir,' Tom responded quickly, hoping that he sounded convincing.

Dippet sank back, looking faintly disappointed.

'You may go, Tom..'

Tom hesitated, before sliding off his chair and stumping out of the room. He went down the moving spiral staircase, emerging next to the gargoyle in the darkening corridor.

Tom's mind was working furiously. He had to find a scapegoat- someone to blame for all the attacks.

For some reason, he had a strong urge to put the blame on Alphard Black, but then realised he had nothing on Alphard aside from the fact that he and Malkin seemed to be lovers now and, for some reason, Selene might not be happy about this.

He bit his and furrowed his forehead as he tried to think of someone or something which could take the blame and, as he looked at the giant gargoyle, he suddenly remembered-

Hagrid.

* * *

Selene rubbed her eyes as she got up slowly. Her muscles felt very tense and stiff and, as she opened her eyes, she was met with the view of many other students sitting up just as she was.

Frowning, she turned to see Malkin waiting nervously in the chair by her bed.

'Malkin, what's going on?' she frowned.

Malkin, who looked as though she was ready to burst, launched herself at Selene, hugging her tightly.

'You're okay! Thank Merlin! I was _so_ worried!'

'But…'

'You were petrified, just like everyone else in the Hospital Wing,' Augusta said wearily, coming up to hug Selene. 'The Mandrakes finally matured, last night.'

Selene looked around.

'But what about the attacker?'

Muriel, Augusta and Malkin shifted uncomfortably.

'Do you… do you remember anything?'

Selene tried to think, but nothing came to mind. She shook her head and Muriel sighed.

'They've attributed it all to 'freak accidents'- and apparently the school is once again 'safe'.'

Selene raised her eyebrows incredulously.

'But surely…'

'Well obviously they know more than they're letting on,' Augusta interrupted practically. 'Hagrid was expelled yesterday, if that means anything.'

Selene laughed incredulously.

'Hagrid? I don't think so!'

'That's what _I_ think. Perhaps he was just doing something foolish, as usual,' Muriel shrugged.

'Conversely,' Augusta added, 'Tom Riddle was awarded a trophy for 'Special Services to the School' this morning at breakfast.'

'Whatever for?' Selene asked, her eyes widening.

The others all shrugged and Selene sighed, shaking her head.

'Something smells funny about all of this…but at least school isn't going to finish now, right?'

'Yes, thank Merlin,' Muriel said, sounding relieved. 'I would have rather died than go to a _French_ school.'

Selene smiled, feeling happy, despite the unsatisfactory resolution to the whole matter of the 'attacks.'

She would at least get to keep her 'home'. She didn't care if she never found out what actually happened- the fact that Hogwarts was no longer closing down was enough for her.

'You've been acting strangely, Malkin.'

Malkin jumped and looked up at Selene, who was standing in the doorway of their dorm. 'I…have?' she asked, her pitch raising and cheeks reddening.

'Yes!' Selene exclaimed, exasperated with her friend. 'What's going on with you?'

Malkin shook her head quickly.

'Going on? Don't know what you're on about!' she stammered, pretending to the parchments on her bed.

Selene's shoulders fell as she was suddenly hit with the sting of rejection.

'You've been like this ever since I woke up,' she said sadly. 'Did I do something?'

Malkin stood up quickly and threw on her cloak.

'Of course not,' she said briskly. 'I'm just… a little confused at the moment. Sorry, I've got detention. I'll see you later.'

And with that, Malkin left, leaving Selene to wonder what she had done to deserve such treatment from her friend.

* * *

'How's Selene?'

Malkin's face flushed.

'No 'hello, how are you', no kiss, just a straight 'how's Selene'?' she exclaimed furiously.

'I think I was the last person to see her, so you'll excuse me for wanting to hear that she's okay,' Alphard responded irritably. 'You have no idea how guilty I've been feeling ever since that day.'

Malkin merely stared at him, her lips becoming a thin line. Alphard's lips twitched.

'Well, my lady, how art thou today?'

Malkin walked primly over to the chair he had pulled out for her and sat down.

'I am fine, thank you for asking,' she responded tartly.

'Is that so?' he grinned. 'Methinks that the lady is rather cross with me?'

Malkin tried to glare at him, but the tug on her lips was irresistible and she couldn't help laughing.

'Stop it,' she complained. 'I can never be mad at you!'

'Ah, my dear,' Alphard laughed as he poured her tea, 'that is all part of my devilish charm.'

'Devilish indeed,' Malkin mused, sipping her tea.

They sat in silence for a while, drinking their tea and eating scones.

'Alphard,' Malkin said tentatively, 'I was wondering the other day that I hardly know anything about your family. What do your parents do?'

'Not much. My mother is the socialite all Black wives are expected to be, and my father goes to the Ministry every day and pretends to create policies, but in reality just plays wizarding poker all day long.'

'But…'

'Really,' Alphard interrupted lightly, 'this is quite a trite topic. I'm sure there are much more interesting things we could discuss.'

Malkin said nothing, but continued to drink her tea. Alphard sighed as he saw that she looked evidently upset.

'What is it now?'

Malkin forced a smile, placed her napkin on the table, and stood up.

'I'll see you around, Alphard,' she said, tying her cloak and walking out of the café.

Alphard groaned. He couldn't understand why Malkin was always so difficult to please. After a moment's hesitation, he got up quickly, left a three galleon tip, and ran out of the café.

He stopped when he saw Selene smiling at him as she walked in his direction.

'Selene!' he exclaimed, shocked to see her.

'Why, hello,' she said, smiling wryly. 'You're looking very flustered, what's the matter?'

'I uh…' he said, looking around for Malkin. 'Ah-sod it, never mind. Anyway, how are you?'

Selene shrugged.

'I'm fine… though I suppose you're probably going to lecture me.'

'Whatever for?'

'For refusing your 'protection',' Selene said, rolling her eyes.

Alphard sighed.

'Oh…yes, you most definitely deserve a thorough telling off. You cannot fathom how guilty I felt for the entire time you were petrified.'

Selene shook her head.

'Why should you feel guilty? I told you to leave.'

'Well, I shouldn't have listened,' he said seriously. 'I should have taken what was happening more seriously.'

Selene sighed.

'Yes, that's true- but you would have had to walk all the way to your own common room by yourself anyway, so either way one of us was bound to be attacked.'

Alphard opened his mouth to respond, but then faltered as he saw Malkin standing, some ten metres ahead, looking at him and Selene furiously. She then turned around and began running in the opposite direction.

'Shit… sorry, Selene, I'll see you later,' he muttered, running after Malkin.

'Wh…'

'Later!'

Alphard never knew that girls had it in them to run so fast, and he certainly would never have picked Malkin to be the athletic type. Somehow, however, she continued to keep running at an impossible pace and he found himself struggling to keep up.

'Malkin!' he shouted for what felt like the hundredth time.

This time, thankfully, she stopped. Her eyes were livid as she stalked up to him and slapped him stingingly.

'You bastard,' she half-shouted, half-sobbed. 'Why did you have to go through me to get to her? Why did you have to hurt me when I already distrusted men as it was?'

Alphard stared at her as her eyes continued to well up and then pulled her to him and hugged her.

'Malkin, you're being ridiculous,' he whispered through her hair. 'I don't want Selene- never have and never will. This is all something you've made up in your own mind. You're the only one I've wanted, but it's been impossible because all you've done this entire time we've been together is be jealous of every girl I talk to.'

Malkin sniffed and he lifted her chin so that he could look at her properly.

'Come, now, don't be like this. It's just causing us both to be upset and frustrated over nothing.'

Malkin looked down and Alphard smiled and leant forward and kissed her.

What was meant to be a light kiss on his behalf, however, turned out to be long and passionate as Malkin pulled him to her tightly and started kissing him back more wildly and passionately than she had ever kissed him before. So much so, that they lost their balance and fell to the ground.

Alphard went to say something, but Malkin interrupted him by kissing him again. He was shocked as he felt her unbuttoning his shirt, and then took his hands and put them to her buttons so that he could do the same to her.

'Malkin, are you…'

'Yes,' she hissed. 'I want to. I need to.'

He gulped. It had been one thing to do it with Camille, that day on the beach, were they both understood it was a casual encounter- just a bit of fun…

But this was different. It was fast-pasted and there was a metallic edge as Malkin all but ripped his shirt off him and began to fiddle with the buckle to his belt.

And, as her hands brushed against him, he felt desire clouding his thoughts. Malkin gasped in shock as he quickly pulled up her skirt and hooked his fingers around her underpants, yanking them down as quickly as he could, before pulling her to him and kissing her even more forcefully than before.

'I…I…' she gasped as she still fiddled with his belt.

'Here,' he said gruffly, pushing her hands away and quickly undoing the buckle.

Malkin swallowed hard and moved back when he went to kiss her again.

'What's wrong now?' he asked, feeling and sounding frustrated in the tension of the moment.

Malkin chewed her lip for a moment, looking hesitant, before screwing up her nose and kissing him.

'I…'

But she suddenly stopped speaking and let out a small, yet piercing scream as he finally entered her.

He paused and looked down at her, waiting.

'Is it…is it meant to hurt so much?' she asked, tears streaking down her cheeks.

'Yes,' he replied, a little shortly.

Malkin swallowed and nodded.

'Okay then,' she said, sounding very apprehensive. 'Keep going, then.'

It wasn't something which Alphard enjoyed. He couldn't because, no matter how much he tried to disregard the fact that Malkin's pain was normal, it felt so wrong compared to the time he had slept with Camille.

'I'm sorry I was so bad,' Malkin said numbly, once it was over and she had cried all her tears.

'You weren't, the pain's normal. It goes away after a few goes,' Alphard said, sounding just as dull.

Malkin sniffed and got up and started dressing. Alphard followed her cue and the two were silent for the rest of the journey back to school.

'I'll see you round,' was all Malkin said to him as they arrived at the Gryffindor portrait. She didn't even look in his eyes.

Alphard tried to smile, but found it almost impossible as he saw how stony her expression was.

And, with that, Malkin turned around and left him without so much as a backward glance.

--

As soon as Malkin shut the door to her dormitory, she burst into unrestrained sobs and ran to her bed.

'Malkin? What happened?'

She screamed into her pillow and cried even harder as she heard Selene's voice- Selene, her best friend whom she had betrayed with her jealousy.

'Merlin, Malkin, please tell me!' Selene said, coming over to Malkin's bed and rubbing Malkin's back.

'You hate me. I'm such a bad friend,' Malkin sobbed.

Selene's face softened and she bent over and hugged Malkin tightly. After a few minutes, Malkin's sobs started to subside.

'There,' Selene smiled, kissing Malkin's forehead. 'How can you say that I hate you? I love you- you're my best friend in this world!'

Malkin's nose twitched, but she didn't start crying.

'I'm sorry,' she said quietly. 'You're my best friend too.'

'I know,' Selene smiled.

Malkin looked up at Selene to see Selene's eyes looking full of concern as they watched her.

'I did something terrible,' she whispered.

Selene shook her head.

'It can't be that bad.'

Malkin nodded.

'It was. I wasn't thinking- I would _never_ have done that if I was…I… how can I ever forgive myself? You must think I'm a cheap harlot… I _am_ a cheap harlot!'

Selene's brow furrowed.

'Malkin, what are you on about?'

Malkin's face crumpled again and she closed her eyes and hugged Selene tightly.

'Can we leave it for tonight? I'm exhausted.'

'That's okay, then. Sleep,' Selene said soothingly.

Malkin sniffed.

'Can you stay with me?'

Selene smiled.

'Of course I'll stay with you,' she said, kissing Malkin's forehead again and hugging her to her tightly.

Whatever it was that had made Malkin behave and feel so terribly for the past few days, she knew that she hated it… and was glad that it was now gone from Malkin's life.

* * *

**You know me. I can't write clean things and, frankly, don't want to. Not that this was that dirty...**

**Anyway. So this was a quite an eventful chapter, don't you think? Care to enlighten me on your thoughts on all the… **_**events**_**?**

'_I feel so used! The women of today- they just use you for sex and then leave you. I tell you boys, steer well clear of them. They're nothing but trouble!'_- Alphard Black

**Love Anya**


	6. Chapter 6: The Affliction of His Love

"_**I miss you even more than I could have believed; and I was prepared to miss you a good deal."**_** --****Vita Sackville-West**

* * *

**The Affliction of His Love**

Alphard Black had a dilemma. What was worse was that he had no idea how he was supposed to solve it.

He was in love.

Whilst he was generally averse to the idea of being in love at his young age, the fact that he _was_ in such a state was not the issue.

The problem was that he was in love with Malkin, and she had done a brilliant job of ignoring him for the past two weeks.

Alphard had tried everything to remedy his problem.

He had started off by trying to go on a date with another girl. This ended disastrously when he called her 'Malkin' in a moment of inattention.

He then took to going on long, wistful walks around the school whilst contemplating the human psyche and why it was that humans fell in love. This also ended rather badly when he accidentally stepped on a wild Blast-Ended Skrewt.

Whilst in hospital from the Blast-Ended Skrewt, he took to writing. He wrote a magnificently tragic tale of a prince who was suffering a slow and torturous death from a Blast-Ended Skrewt attack. The prince was asked for his dying wish, and he wished to see his beloved one last time. She, like Malkin, never came to visit him and the prince died broken-hearted. Alphard was granted a slightly happier ending as he was released from the Hospital Wing, very much alive, albeit still lovesick.

Following the hospital stint, Alphard settled for a much unhealthier approach. He stole firewhiskey and tried to numb his pain through alcoholic means. Fortunately, or unfortunately, this did not work as Alphard couldn't stand the taste of firewhiskey and ended up pouring the expensive bottle down the sink.

So now, out of ideas, he had taken to refusing everything but food and drink.

'Alphie?'

'Life is meaningless,' Alphard muttered to himself. 'There is no meaning to anything…'

'Oh snap out of it, man! You're becoming pathetic!'

Alphard looked up dully at Ryan.

'Do not speak of what you do not know.'

The boys stared at him before bursting out into laughter.

'Have you heard yourself lately?' Keith choked through his laughter. 'You're a walking comedy show!'

Sean, the more sympathetic one in the group, patted Alphard on the shoulder.

'Come on, Alphie. What's going on?'

Alphard sniffed affectedly and then, suddenly, he couldn't stop himself from ranting-

'It's _her_! She's a witch, I tell you! A horrible, nasty…yet beautiful _witch!'_

The others laughed again.

'What?' Alphard snapped heatedly.

'I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Alphie, but all the women in this school are witches and…. You're a wizard,' Keith said carefully, his lips twitching.

Alphard glared at them haughtily.

'I feel so used! The women of today- they just use you for sex and then leave you. I tell you boys, steer well clear of them. They're nothing but trouble!'

The was silence, and then-

'Are you serious!' Ryan exclaimed, looking as though Christmas had come early. 'Girls these days actually have sex? They use us? Where are they and why wasn't I told of this earlier?'

Sean rolled his eyes.

'Ryan, don't be so immature. Alphard is suffering from an extreme bout of …er… unrequited love,' he said delicately, his lips twitching.

'Oh you may laugh,' Alphard said dully. 'But don't come crying to me when _you_ suffer from it- not that I wish this upon any of you.

Sean sighed.

'You know, Alphie, I don't think you're actually in love with Malkin.'

Alphard's eyes flashed dangerously and he stood up suddenly.

'Then what do you call this?' he yelled at Sean. 'I haven't been losing sleep simply because I decided to give up the habit!'

Sean's eyes widened but then he nodded wisely.

'Look, Alphie, I understand that you may be infatuated with Malkin, but I think the real issue at stake here is that you had a very intense encounter with her and she has suddenly started ignoring you.'

'Why would she do that?' Alphard said glumly.

'Perhaps she's ashamed,' Sean offered.

Keith and Ryan rolled their eyes.

'This is boring- want to play quidditch?' Keith said, nudging Ryan.

Ryan nodded emphatically and the two ran off quickly.

Once the door had shut, Sean continued to speak.

'Was it her first time?'

Alphard nodded.

'Girls are very particular about their first times. You haven't told me what happened, but—'

'She was jealous of Selene. She thought that I was in love with her and, when she saw me talking to her, ran off. I ran after her and then… it just sort of happened,' Alphard admitted.

Sean pursed his lips.

'What?'

'Well,' Sean said carefully, 'I think that she only slept with you in reaction to Selene. I don't think it was something which she would have done under normal circumstances. Knowing Malkin, I don't think she's just sleep with anyone so lightly.'

Alphard sighed.

'But what about me? Why is she ignoring me? I didn't do anything wrong!'

'I know, I know,' Sean said reassuringly. 'It's just that she's probably so ashamed for being jealous of her friend, sleeping with you in reaction to her jealousy, and giving up her first time so rashly that you're probably the last person she wants to see at the moment.'

'But that's not fair!' Alphard exclaimed.

'But that's how she feels. You, no matter what you do, will always remind her of that very shameful mistake of hers—and no one likes to be reminded of their mistakes.'

Alphard's shoulders slumped.

'So that's it, then?'

'I'm afraid so.'

'Can't I do _anything_? I just want to talk to her, at least, to make sure she's not upset at me or anything.'

Sean looked uncertain.

'I don't think that she'll see you. Perhaps you could send her a letter saying that you'd like to meet her just to talk?'

Alphard looked dubious at this suggestion.

'But she just ignores me when I try talking to her!'

Sean shook his head.

'I know, but this is different- you're giving her the chance to set the meeting on her terms. She would probably be much more comfortable that way.'

'Do you think that it'll work?' Alphard asked.

'It's worth a try,' Sean shrugged.

Alphard hugged Sean, who blushed a little.

'Thanks mate,' he said, rushing around the room for some parchment and ink. 'You're a genius!'

* * *

Malkin's lips trembled as she read the letter from Alphard.

Why couldn't he just leave her be? She never wanted to see him ever again. Was that so hard for him to understand?

The door opened and Malkin hastily stowed away the letter as Selene entered the dorm.

'Hi,' Selene smiled, walking over and sitting on Malkin's bed. 'What's up?'

Malkin forced a smile.

'Oh, not much. I just uh… need to go to the owlery.'

Selene's face fell.

'Oh,' she said, looking down. 'Okay, then.'

Malkin chewed her lip guiltily.

'I'll only be ten minutes,' she said. 'Do you want to study together afterwards?'

Selene looked up sadly.

'Sure,' she smiled, turning away and bending over her trunk.

Malkin hovered, but then decided that she could try doing damage control as soon as she returned.

--

The owlery was empty and Malkin set about writing her response quickly—

_Where and when? It can't be on a Hogsmeade weekend or during school hours._

_-Malkin_

Malkin had half a mind to stun the owl as it flew off with the letter, but then decided that Alphard was right- they had to get things sorted between them. The sooner this happened, the better.

Malkin sighed as she turned to leave.

'Hi Malkin,' a voice piped up from across the room.

Malkin's eyes widened and she turned to see Florean Fortescue. Whilst Florean was a nice boy, he was very awkward and rather scrawny.

In other words, Malkin had never really taken much notice of him outside of the Gryffindor Common Room.

'Hi Florean,' she said, making to leave.

'H…how are you?' he asked, his voice faltering as he saw that she was leaving.

Malkin sighed, frustrated at being held up.

'I'm fine. How are you?' she asked shortly.

'I'm okay. My nonna's a bit sick. I was just sending her a letter,' he said, his blue eyes worried. 'She likes getting letters from me.'

Malkin could not understand why Florean thought that she would care about his 'nonna'.

'That's nice,' she said, disinterested and trying to find a way to leave. 'I just…'

'Are you okay, Malkin? You look a bit worried,' Florean commented earnestly.

Malkin blinked.

'Wh…what?' she stammered.

'You just look worried about something,' Florean shrugged.

Malkin sighed. She was not about to start divulging her innermost secrets to someone like Florean.

'I'm just busy,' she said shortly. 'Excuse me, I have to…'

Florean nodded.

'Well I hope whatever it is gets better for you.'

Malkin stared at Florean, slightly taken aback.

'Thanks,' she said, her expression softening a little. 'I hope your nonna gets better.'

Florean smiled widely at this and Malkin couldn't help smiling at how toothy and big his smile was. It was quite cute and endearing.

'Well… see you,' she said finally, after an awkward silence.

And, with a final nod to Florean, she left the owlery.

Strangely enough, she felt a bit better.

* * *

Selene wandered through the aisles of the library aimlessly. She had no intention of studying, but did not want to return to the common room where Malkin was probably having another brooding fit either.

'Asteria, what are you doing?'

Selene turned, surprised, to see Tom at the end of the aisle. He was sitting against the wall, reading a heavy and ancient book.

'I…'

'Are you looking for a book in particular?' he interrupted, looking rather annoyed by her presence.

Selene sighed and went over to where he was sitting, and sat next to him.

Tom's body stiffened.

'What are you doing?' he asked, looking very awkward.

Selene closed her eyes as she rested her head against the wall.

'Is this why you don't keep any friends?'

'You know I don't understand what you're talking about,' Tom snapped irritably.

'Because they'll inevitably move on?'

Tom's nostrils flared and he made to get up. Selene laughed so uncharacteristically that he turned to look at her in surprise.

'And even you're leaving me too,' she said, her lips quivering as she struggled to keep her humourless smile. 'No one wants to be around me. Am I that repulsive?'

Tom pursed his lips.

'Of course you are- you're a mudblood. I've been telling you this for many years already.'

Selene opened her eyes and laughed again. Once again, Tom was shocked by how dark her laugh was.

'And you're always right, aren't you?'

Tom rolled his eyes.

'Yes. I am.'

Selene nodded.

'Well then I suppose that must be it. Everyone hates me because I'm just a 'filthy little mudblood'.'

Tom frowned. Now he wasn't sure whether she was just upset, or whether she was mocking him.

Selene looked up at him and he was struck by how sad her usually-dancing hazel eyes were. Slowly, she stood up so that she was standing right opposite him.

'So, Tom, can you give a poor mudblood orphan another piece of advice?'

Tom crossed his arms, wondering how long Selene's outburst would last.

'What?' he snapped.

She laughed softly and he looked up into her eyes which were glassy with tears.

'What can I do, Tom? I was born this way- a mudblood. What do you suggest I do so that I may finally become 'acceptable'?'

Tom stared at Selene before shaking his head.

'Nothing,' he said flatly. 'There's nothing you can do because you're just a pathetic little mudblood and that's how you'll remain. Nothing you can do will ever change that. It's good that you finally realised this about yourself, though.'

And with that, he stormed off. He was fed up with people interrupting him.

* * *

Malkin tapped her foot impatiently. She was annoyed because Alphard was late. Seeing as this meeting was his suggestion in the first place, she felt that it was extremely rude of him to keep her waiting.

Suddenly, there was a rustling of leaves and she turned around to see Alphard stumbling through the trees, into the clearing.

Slowly, she lowered the hood of her cloak. Alphard's face paled as he looked at her.

'H…hi,' he said sadly.

Malkin's heart sped up erratically and she now remembered why she didn't want to meet Alphard—

Because, no matter how much she lied to herself that she was over him and everything that happened, she really wasn't.

Not at all.

She still had dreams where they would put everything behind them and start afresh; where their relationship was not poisoned by the past…

And nothing was worse than that ache she felt when she saw him.

But, no matter what she felt and wanted, she knew that the relationship was gone. It had been poisoned beyond repair and nothing good would come out of attempting to revive it.

'Hello,' she said shortly, not looking at him. 'You wanted to talk?'

Alphard swallowed.

'Yes,' he said hoarsely. 'You've been ignoring me. Why?'

Malkin clenched her fists.

'Because what happened between us was a mistake- from the very beginning.'

Alphard shook his head and walked closer to her.

'Don't say that,' he said softly.

But Malkin shook her head and tried to ignore the uncomfortable pricking at her eyes.

'No, it's true,' she said thickly. 'It was wrong- and what happened in Hogsmeade was wrong.'

Alphard sighed.

'I know,' he said. 'I know it wasn't a good start, but we can start afresh, can't we?'

Malkin sniffed. This was exactly what she wished could happen, but knew would never work.

She turned to face him sadly.

'No,' she said softly. 'We can't. I'm sorry.'

Alphard's shoulders slumped. He wondered how it was that he had never noticed just how beautiful Malkin was when they were together- her cream complexion, her dark, shiny hair…

'So that's it, then?' Alphard said dully. 'All that and… nothing?'

Malkin nodded, feeling her something in her chest twisting painfully.

'No one can ever know,' she said, her voice gravelly. 'Do you understand?'

Alphard stared at her blankly and Malkin suddenly threw up her arms.

'Well what do you expect, Alphie?' she shouted. 'Each time I see you, I'm just reminded of how low I once sunk. It's not your fault it's just… me. I can't change the way I feel about what happened.'

She wiped her teary eyes and sighed.

'Look,' she said quietly. 'It's just better this way. I'm sorry.'

And with that, she left Alphard even more broken-hearted than before.

* * *

'And the square root of 144 is…'

'Pst.'

Alphard ignored Selene, as he had for the past two weeks.

Selene frowned.

'You know, you're being quite rude.'

Alphard looked up at Selene, his eyes doleful. Selene raised her eyebrows.

'What happened to square root of 144 is…'

'Pst.'

Alphard ignored Selene, as he had for the past two weeks.

Selene frowned.

'You know, you're being quite rude.'

Alphard looked up at Selene, his eyes doleful.

'What happened to _you_?'

Alphard sighed.

'Nothing.'

Selene raised her eyebrows.

'_Nothing_?' she repeated, in disbelief.

'Yes. Nothing.'

'So why are you in such a strop?'

'Because.'

'Because what?'

Alphard ran a hand through his hair.

'Have you always been this annoying?'

Selene shrugged, smiling innocently. Alphard couldn't help smiling a little.

'There! You were upset, and I got you to smile. My work is done,' Selene said happily, turning her attention back to the class.

Alphard stared at Selene, but then felt someone else watching him and turned around to see Malkin looking away quickly.

'You can be annoying at times, but thank you- I needed a smile today,' he whispered to Selene.

Selene couldn't help blushing.

* * *

The OWL exams crept upon the Fifth years without their realising it. Soon, the Common Rooms were filled with Fifth years pouring obsessively over their text books.

Hogsmeade weekends were put on hold and the Hospital Wing was once again busy- this time with students suffering from nervous breakdown.

'Ugh,' Selene groaned as she emerged from the bathroom.

Malkin screwed up her nose, but her lips were twitching.

'Did you eat something strange?' Augusta asked Selene, looking concerned.

Selene groaned again and sunk onto her bed, her hands shaking.

'No,' Malkin said. 'Selene throws up when she's nervous. She's a bit strange in that way.'

Selene threw Malkin a dirty look.

'Thanks for your support, Malkin dear,' she croaked sarcastically.

Malkin pouted and went over to Selene's bed. She conjured up a wet towel and wiped Selene's brow with it.

'Would you like me to sing whilst I do this, as well?' Malkin enquired.

Selene slapped Malkin's hands away, but smiled a little nonetheless.

Suddenly, her smile disappeared and she ran back to the bathroom. Soon, everyone in the dorm was once again shivering at the retching sounds Selene was making.

'Selene, stop it!' Malkin shouted, covering her ears. 'You have no reason to be nervous. You'll do fine in your exams.'

Panting, Selene appeared at the door again.

'No,' she gasped. 'I never pay any attention during Arithmancy.'

'Sure you do.'

'No, I don't! I'm always too distracted by that sodding Alphard Black!'

Malkin's face fell. She then forced a smile.

'Even so,' she said. 'I'm sure you'll at least pass.'

Selene sighed and went back to her bed.

'If I can at least pass… that's all I want.'

* * *

'Dear me.'

'Tell me about it.'

Selene and Malkin looked up from their exam results at each other.

'I think it's time we started studying,' Malkin said slowly.

'Hmm,' Selene said, scratching her head. 'I mean… I knew I wasn't good at Arithmancy, but I never thought that I was as bad as 'Troll'!'

Malkin pursed her lips.

'It's that stupid Black. He distracted me by smiling at me during the exam- and then I kept thinking of how I should have paid attention during classes and…'

Selene paused, frowning.

'I can't blame him, can I?' she said miserably.

'I can,' Malkin muttered.

'Eh?'

Malkin shook her head.

'No. We have no one but ourselves to blame for this,' Malkin said. 'Next year, we're going to try much harder.'

They both looked up as the compartment door opened.

It was Tom, and he looked very irritated.

'Hello Tom,' Selene said, nodding formally.

'I'm not coming with you to the orphanage,' was all he offered. 'So don't wait for me to share a taxi.'

Selene looked surprised.

'You're not coming back?' she asked, standing up. 'Where are you going?'

Tom cast a glance at Malkin, and Selene rolled her eyes and walked out of the compartment.

'Well?' she enquired.

'What I do is none of your business,' Tom said shortly. 'I will eventually come back to the orphanage, but not for the first few weeks.'

Selene stared at Tom, and then her mouth became a thin line.

'What are you up to, Tom?' she said severely.

'As I said,' Tom said. 'It's none of your business.'

Selene snorted.

'Well that's just something you'd say, isn't it? You never think of anyone but yourself, Tom.'

Tom rolled his eyes.

'That's because I have no one else to think of,' he retorted.

Selene shook her head.

'No, that's not true- anyway. What do you expect me to say when they ask me why you haven't returned?'

Tom sighed impatiently.

'Are you really that incompetent? Just make up any old story.'

Selene glared at him, but then a small smile came to her lips as she realised that she actually _could_ make up 'any old story'…

She was going to have quite a lot of fun with this.

'Okay then. Have fun with whatever you're doing,' she said brightly, turning to go back into her compartment.

Tom grabbed her arm.

'Why are you smiling?' he asked suspiciously.

Selene shrugged, avoiding his eyes.

'Oh, I just remembered something I wanted to tell Malkin. You wouldn't find it funny.'

Tom watched her carefully, but let go of her arm all the same. They moved to the side of the aisle as a group of Ravenclaws walked past.

'Selene?'

Selene looked up to see Alphard and smiled genially at him.

'Hey Alphard. Have a good summer,' she said, blushing as she realised that Tom was still standing next to her.

Alphard's eyes wandered to Tom. They exchanged a very cold look, before Alphard returned his attention to Selene.

'What are you doing out here?' Alphard said suspiciously, eyeing Tom warily.

'Just organising things for the holidays.'

'It's none of your business.'

Selene bit her lip. Although she was never nervous around Tom herself, she was always nervous when someone else was around him.

She smiled carefully at Alphard.

'I'll see you round, Alphard. Have a good break,' she said, hoping he would take the hint.

Alphard stared at the both of them again, but then finally left when Sean came back to see what was keeping him.

'What a fool,' Tom said softly, as he watched Alphard's retreating back.

Selene frowned.

'Don't say that,' she said. 'He's very nice.'

Tom raised an eyebrow, but decided that he didn't care enough to argue the matter.

'Are we done?' Selene asked.

Tom nodded and turned to leave. He then stopped and turned to face Selene.

He cleared his throat.

'There's something I've been meaning to ask you,' he said, keeping his gaze fixed on her eyes.'

Selene raised her eyebrows.

'Oh?'

He nodded.

'Do you maybe remember anything from that day you were petrified?'

Selene's face paled and she took a step back from him.

'No,' she said carefully. 'Why?'

Tom shrugged.

'Never mind…'

'You were given an award,' Selene interrupted quickly. 'You had something to do with it.'

Tom shrugged.

'If I did, I'm not allowed to say anything about it.'

Selene stared at him severely.

'Tom, I'm not stupid. I can do two and two- they've blamed Hagrid for it.'

Tom smiled patronisingly at Selene.

'I'll see you in a few weeks- unfortunately.'

And, without any further explanation, he left Selene.

She glared at his retreating back.

'I'm definitely going to make up a horrible story about his whereabouts now,' she thought angrily as she threw the door to her compartment open.

* * *

'Selene! How lovely to have you back,' Sister Jackie said, welcoming Selene back into the orphanage.

'Thanks, Sister Jackie,' Selene smiled, not feeling quite as happy to be back. 'How have you been?'

'Oh, the same. More screaming babies with no one to love them. It's always been the same.'

Selene frowned, already feeling alone and unwanted.

'But where is Tom?' Sister Jackie said, looking to Selene. 'Is he coming separately?'

Selene's eyes lit up.

'Oh no, Sister. He's taken the first two weeks to travel around Italy with his lover.'

Sister Jackie's eyes widened in shock.

'L…lover?' the nurse stuttered.

Selene smiled.

'Yes.'

Sister Jackie looked thoughtful.

'You know, I never thought that Tom would ever find a lady friend…' she mused.

Selene shook her head.

'Oh,' she laughed. 'Tom's lover isn't a lady- though sometimes it's hard to tell, the way they dress…'

Sister Jackie paled.

'Tom is with…another man?' she whispered.

Selene winked at Sister Jackie.

'Sh,' she said conspiratorially. 'I wasn't supposed to tell anyone- they're very conscious to keep it quiet. You know how unforgiving the English are about such things.'

Sister Jackie opened and shut her mouth, lost for words.

'Thanks for letting me in, sister. I'll just go pack my things,' Selene said brightly, skipping off to the girls' dormitory.

--

Despite the fact that Sister Jackie's reaction to Tom had given Selene something to laugh at, Selene was not happy at the orphanage.

Days when the sun was shining in all her glory were spent scrubbing the floor, helping out with the washing, and reading to the younger orphans. Although Selene knew that this was only fair- the orphanage had raised her and now it was her chance to repay some of their favour- she couldn't help missing Hogwarts.

'Selene,' Mary tugged at her sleeve. 'Why did you leave?'

Selene wiped her sweaty brow and continued to knead the dough.

'I went to school.'

'With that other boy? The scary one?'

Selene smiled kindly at Mary and tapped her little nose with her finger, putting a smear of flour on it.

'Yes. With the scary boy.'

Mary's eyes widened.

'You went to school… _with him_?'

Selene nodded solemnly and Mary hugged her leg tightly.

'He scares me.'

Selene laughed.

'Well you should just ignore him. I'm sure he's not _that_ bad.'

Mary frowned.

'Has he gone?' she said hopefully.

Selene shook her head.

'No, he's coming back here in a few weeks.'

She was surprised at how hopeful her voice sounded at the thought. Despite the fact that they had never gotten along with each other, Tom had always been there at the orphanage. He had always been there- the only other 'odd, magical child' there.

And as horrible as he always was to her, she couldn't help missing him.

Sighing, Selene put the dough in the oven and washed her hands. As she did so, she looked up at the calendar and wondered how many more days Tom would be away for.

* * *

**Your quote:**

_'Tom shivered in disgust as he saw him. It was as though he was looking at an older version of himself, and yet this version was weak and pathetic- a filthy muggle. He had to fight the urge to kill him then and there.'_

**Please, please, please review! I don't know when I'll be able to update next...**

**Love Anya**


	7. Chapter 7: Cruel Parricide

**"He went so far as to hope that human justice would mete out punishment unflinchingly. But he wasn't afraid to say it: my callousness inspired in him a horror nearly greater than which he felt at the crime of parricide." – '**_**The Stranger'- **_**Albert Camus**

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**For Sarah, who typed out the entire section of Morfin's memory from HP6 for me when I had lost my book. Without her, this chapter would never be. Also, I must put the disclaimer that this chapter is largely JKR's.**

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* * *

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**Cruel Parricide**

It was a warm day, but Tom was shivering as he walked down the main road in Little Hangleton. He couldn't contain his trepidation and excitement at the thought that, in a few minutes, he would finally meet Marvolo— he who shared his middle name.

Tom had long envisaged this meeting. He was sure that Marvolo would be a great wizard. He had to be, as a fellow descendant of Salazar Slytherin.

Tom paused and closed his eye, breathing in the sweet scent of jasmine and honeysuckle in the air.

It was a beautiful evening.

Tom opened his eyes slowly and was met with the picture of the sun, setting over a magnificent house. Slowly, he progressed towards this house. He was certain that only wizards of immense power and affluence would be worthy of such a mansion.

He frowned, however, when he saw that the house number did not match the address he had written down. Sighing in frustration, Tom proceeded past the house and continued until he came upon a shabby, dirty shack.

He looked to his paper in disbelief.

Surely there had been some mistake—descendents of the great Slytherin, living in a wreck like this?

Tom lit up a lamp and gingerly pushed the door open.

It creaked.

Slowly, he looked around the hovel until his eyes fell upon a filthy man sitting in the armchair in the corner of the room of the wreck of a room. His beard was so overgrown that Tom could see neither eyes nor mouth.

Tom lowered his eyes to the empty bottle of vodka the man was holding in one hand, and then the knife and wand he held in the other hand.

It was then that Tom felt the sinking feeling of disappointment. The wand only confirmed that the man was a wizard.

They stared at each other and then, suddenly, the man staggered upright, the many empty bottles at his feet clattering and tinkling across the floor.

'YOU!' he bellowed. 'YOU!'

And he hurtled drunkenly at Tom, wand and knife held aloft.

Tom swallowed quickly, making his decision quickly.

'_Stop,_' he hissed in Parseltongue.

The man skidded into the table, sending mouldy pots crashing to the floor. They stared at each other and there was a long silence while they contemplated each other. The man broke it.

'_You speak it?'_

'_Yes, I speak it,'_ said Tom. He moved forwards into the room, allowing the door to swing shut behind him.

He wasn't scared of the man. Quite the opposite, he was revolted and disgusted that he was related to such filth—

That such _filth_ was meant to be as pureblood as it gets.

'_Where is Marvolo_?' he asked, hoping that perhaps this man was merely a servant.

'_Dead_,' the man responded. _'Died years ago, didn't he?'_

Tom frowned.

'_Who are you, then?'_

'_I'm Morfin, ain't I?'_

'_Marvolo's son?' _Tom repeated in disbelief.

'_Course I am, then…'_

Morfin paused to push the hair out of his dirty face to get a better view of Tom, and Tom narrowed his eyes as he caught sight of the black-stoned ring on Morfin's ring on his right hand.

'_I thought you was that Muggle,' _whispered Morfin. _'You look mighty like that Muggle.'_

'_What Muggle?' _ said Tom sharply, his heart beating faster in his chest.

'_That Muggle what my sister took a fancy to, that Muggle what lives in the big house over the way,'_ said Morfin, and he spat unexpectedly upon the floor between them. '_You look right like him. Riddle. But he's older now, in'e? He's older'n you, now I think on it…'_

Morfin looked slightly dazed and swayed a little, still clutching the edge of the table for support.

'_He come back, see,' _he added stupidly.

Tom gazed at Morfin, his eyes calculating, and took a step closer.

'_Riddle came back?'_

'_Ar, he left her, and serve her right, marrying filth!'_ said Morfin, spitting on the floor again. _'Robbed us, mind, before she ran off! Where's the locket, eh, where's Slytherin's locket?'_

Tom did not answer. Morfin was working himself into a rage again; he brandished his knife and shouted, '_Dishonoured us, she did, that little slut! And who're you, coming here and asking questions about all that? It's over, innit… it's over…'_

He looked away, staggering slightly, and Tom moved forwards. He gave a small flick of his wand and, as he did so, an unnatural darkness fell, extinguishing his lamp and Morfin's candle.

'_Stupefy.'_

--

Tom's breathing was ragged as he stalked out of the hut, towards that mansion he had first seen. He felt possessed with hatred and anger…

He had left her. He had left _him._

Tom clenched his fists. He would make him pay.

Through the gate, past the front door, up the staircase…

It all happened so quickly.

Before he knew it, he was in the doorway of the dining room. Tom shivered in disgust as he saw him. It was as though he was looking at an older version of himself, and yet this version was weak and pathetic- a filthy muggle. He had to fight the urge to kill him then and there.

Slowly, he walked into the room and saw an elderly man and woman, sitting opposite each other across the table. Tom refused to even consider that they were his grandparents.

Without a second thought, he had raised his wand—

'Avada Kedavra.'

A flash of green light and the woman was dead.

'Ladies first,' Tom thought grimly.

The elderly man and his father both looked up from their meals, alarmed.

'Phyllis?'

'Mother?'

A second flash, and the old man was sent the same way as his wife.

Tom watched dispassionately as his father gasped and went to get up. Cooly, Tom walked into his view and sat at the opposite head of the table.

His father paled to a ghostly white.

'What is this?' he whispered. 'Who are you?'

Tom merely stared at him. He was surprised at how little he felt as he saw who was meant to be his father.

The man began to break out into a sweat. Tom waited. He wouldn't say anything, but would wait for his fool of a father to realise.

He didn't have to wait long.

'_Me…ro…pe…_' he whispered, realisation evident in his expression.

He looked at Tom, his eyes sad.

'She… she was telling the truth, then? She…she wasn't lying when she said she was pregnant?'

He shook his head, his eyes closing and looking pained.

'And you're my son?'

Tom shook his head vehemently, disgusted at the sight in front of him.

'I am no son of yours, _vermin_.'

He paused, looking into the eyes which were exactly like his.

'_Avada Kedavra.'_

* * *

Returning to the orphanage after everything he had just done was a surreal experience for Tom. He felt as though he was in a daze as he walked through the familiar, whitewashed corridors—

It was strange. He had killed so many people now- achieved so much since he left the orphanage last year, and yet, the orphanage was just the same. The orphans still wore their shabby, gray shift uniforms, Sister Jackie was still an alcoholic, and the orphanage still smelt like freshly baked bread.

He closed his eyes as he came to the end of the hall and heard her familiar laugh. Suddenly, there was a squeal followed by running footsteps. Tom opened his eyes as a few of the younger girls ran through the hallway, laughing, chased by Selene.

She caught them, just before they reached him.

'Gotcha!' Selene laughed, ruffling the youngest one's hair.

The girl squirmed and Selene laughed. She looked up and stopped suddenly when she saw Tom.

But her eyes were still alight.

'Tom!' she said, going up to him. 'You're back!'

He nodded stiffly.

'Yes, I am,' he said formally. 'I see you're wasting your holidays, as always.'

The two girls came and hid behind her back, and Selene put her arms around their shoulders.

'Why don't you play with us, Tom?' she grinned.

Tom opened his mouth to say but, before he could respond, Selene was dragging him down the hallway.

'Okay, girls. Your turn to find us. Make sure you close your eyes and count to ten!'

Selene started running, pulling Tom with her. Suddenly, she let go of his arm-feeling as though something had scalded her.

'What…'

Tom glared at her.

'I don't play childish games,' he said icily.

Selene sighed impatiently.

'Why can't you just have fun, for once? It's just a five-minute game. You've been away doing God knows what, why can't you just play with us for a bit?'

Tom raised an eyebrow and walked right up to Selene. Selene swallowed, not used to being in such close proximity with someone.

'You want me to _play _with you?' he whispered in her ear.

Selene shivered and stood back, coming to a dead end against the wall.

She swallowed again.

'Well?' Tom asked.

'I want you to play with us- Hide and Seek,' Selene said flatly, not liking his tone.

'Okay then,' Tom smiled sardonically.

'Ready or not, here we come!'

Selene gasped as Tom suddenly grabbed her wrist. The next thing she knew, she was being sucked into nothingness.

* * *

**Thanks once again to Sarah (her ffdotnet pen-name is Saciice. Look her up!)**

**So I've decided that I'm going to tweak a bit of what happened in the 'back story' from TGM for this. Nothing yet, but just be warned that I won't be sticking **_**exactly**_** to those flashback scenes we saw in TGM.**

**I'm excited for the next chapter-**

'_Selene's teeth chattered and she shivered and she raised her head to see that they were in a dark, dank cave…'_

**Show me your love by reviewing!**

**Love Anya**


	8. Chapter 8: Great Neptune's Ocean

"_**There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.**_**" - ****Friedrich Nietzsche**

* * *

**Great Neptune's Ocean**

Selene's teeth chattered and she shivered and raised her head to see that they were in a dark, dank cave.

'T…Tom?' she stammered, squinting in the dark as she slowly raised herself from the ground.

There was the echo of a laugh and Selene whipped her head around, trying to find where his laugh originated from.

'Tom,' she said sharply. 'This isn't fun. Cut it out.'

'I thought you wanted to _play_.'

Selene gasped, his breath on her ear sending shivers down her spine. She spun around and pushed him back.

'What the _hell_ are you doing, Tom?' she snapped angrily.

He shuddered.

'Stop calling me that,' he said through gritted teeth.

'I'll call you Tom, because that's your name. At least it's something normal, unlike _my_ stupid name.'

Tom said nothing and Selene shivered again. She could smell sea salt.

'Where are we?' she wondered aloud.

Tom laughed humourlessly.

'You don't remember?' he whispered.

Selene swallowed.

'No,' she said slowly.

She heard Tom scoffing and suddenly he grabbed her wrist again and she experienced that strange sucking feeling again.

With a crack, her feet crashed down on hard rock.

'Stop it!' she shouted, pushing him.

Her eyes widened as she nearly lost her balance and she looked around her to see that they were standing on a large rock, in the middle of the ocean. Waves were crashing around them.

'Tom…' she said quietly, her eyes still wide as saucers.

'Do you still want to _play_?' he taunted, crossing his arms and smirking coldly as he watched her.

She blinked out of her daze and turned to look at him. He frowned when he saw she wasn't frightened.

'We came here when we were younger, didn't we?' she asked. 'On an excursion?'

Tom pursed his lips. He had expected her to scream at him to take them back, not to start up a conversation whilst they were standing in the middle of the ocean.

'Yes,' he replied curtly.

To his surprise, she smiled and turned around, marvelling at the wild beauty of the ocean.

'It's so beautiful,' she breathed. 'So wild, so reckless….'

Suddenly, a huge wave crashed against the rock and they were sprayed with salty water, drenching them.

Feeling almost frightened himself, Tom decided that enough was enough. When he opened his eyes, he saw that Selene was laughing.

She was drenched, her simple white shift becoming almost translucent in the water. He tried to avoid noticing her figure to which the wet cloth was clinging to, or how red her lips had become in the cold…

But it was impossible to ignore her laughter which rung out in the open ocean- exultant, jubilant.

'What the hell is wrong with you?' he shouted at her. 'You're meant to be scared!'

Selene laughed at him.

'Tom, you _brought _me here! Surely _you're_ not scared?'

She looked as though something inside her had been awakened- an energy which was zapped in the dullness of the orphanage.

Tom smiled, a wicked idea suddenly coming to him.

'What if I left you here?' he said softly.

Her smile faltered and he smirked.

'Goodbye Selene,' he said, gripping his wand. And with that, he disapparated with a 'crack'.

Selene stared at the place where Tom had been, and then sat on the rock and hugged her knees to her tightly.

She was sure he would come back for her. _Surely_ he would…

She shivered as the wind began to blow more harshly, whipping her hair against her face. The waves began to spray her more and more and she was so numb from the cold that she felt sure that she would die soon.

She lay back on the rock and closed her eyes.

'Come back,' she whispered. 'Take me back, Tom. Don't leave me here.'

She was sure he would take her back. This was just his sick idea of a joke. She hated it, but she knew he would inevitably come back.

'It's not funny, Tom. It's not a…'

Another wave crashed on the rock and she sat up suddenly, spluttering as she choked on the sea water.

Tears streaked down her cheeks as she bent over on the rock, on her hands and knees. She gasped for air.

Furrowing her brow, she shut her eyes tightly and tried to concentrate on the shore.

* * *

After two hours, there was a tentative knock on the door to Tom's dorm.

He looked up from his book entitled- '_Most Potente Magick'_

'What is it?' he asked irritably as he saw the two young girls from earlier that day.

'We want to know where Selene is,' one of them said timidly.

He glared at them for reminding him of Selene and shut the door in their faces. He leant his forehead against the door, feeling torn—

If he left Selene, he would have finally eradicated Hogwarts of mudbloods…

But then he remembered that there would surely be fresh mudbloods in first year...

Without a second thought, he had his wand out and apparated back to the rock. He was immediately sprayed with water and, shivering, saw that Selene was no longer there.

'Selene!' he shouted, feeling his pulse racing in his throat as he looked around wildly for her. 'Selene!'

But there was no reply and he felt his blood running cold as he wondered if she had fallen in the water. He suddenly questioned whether she could swim or not, feeling sick as he realised that she probably couldn't.

He whipped out his wand, and started performing every form of summoning charm he could in a bid to bring her to the surface, but he couldn't see her.

'Don't _do_ this,' he shouted angrily. 'You're such a stupid _mudblood_. Can't you use magic to get yourself out of this?'

He then remembered that she didn't have a wand on her and sunk to his knees, feeling lost.

He looked at the water distastefully. He himself was a terrible swimmer and had no desire to go into the freezing water in search of a mudblood…

But there was something which intrinsically had him performing a Bubble-Head Charm and pinch his nose as he jumped into the freezing water. It was more a need to have her in his life, even if it was just on the side.

She was the only constant in his life.

Father, mother- both had abandoned him. In different ways, yes, but neither had cared enough to even attempt to know him.

But she, despite everything, had always tried- and had always been there. And, no matter what her blood, or how much he hated her and her silly behaviour, he couldn't kill that.

As he swam around, searching for her wildly in the icy water, he realised that if she died, he would have effectively killed her.

He swam faster, trying to look for some semblance of her. His heart beat hopefully when he saw something which looked like her brown hair, but it was only seaweed.

After ten minutes, he felt himself becoming dizzy from the cold. He shot himself out of the water, landing on the rock as he gasped for air.

He clutched at the rock. For the first time in his life, he felt lost.

There was no way that Selene would still be alive after ten minutes in that freezing water.

He had killed her.

* * *

He had a fever and was constantly shivering. He couldn't sleep- a combination of him not being able to, and not wanting to.

All he wanted was to turn back the clock- to go back in time.

But he couldn't do that.

'Fuck!' he whispered, punching his mattress as he felt nausea writhing away his insides.

He sat up suddenly and got out of bed and paced the room. His hands were shaking.

Suddenly, there was a weak cough, followed by a sneeze. It was from outside his window.

It was a girl's sneeze.

His heart beating in wild, irrational hope, he ran to the window and saw her staggering down the street to the orphanage door.

He tore down through the hall and the front door flew open without him even needing to touch it.

She looked dead on her feet as she stumbled closer to where he was. He ran up to her and she didn't even seem to be able to see him. He put his arms around her to support her and that was all she needed for her legs to give way. She collapsed in his arms and his eyes widened at how cold she was.

Her skin was bluey-white and her lips and fingertips were blue.

He hugged her to him and she instinctively drew as close as she could to the warmth of his body. She was shivering violently.

'You're okay,' he whispered into her salty hair. 'It's okay.'

She moved her lips soundlessly and he couldn't help it- they were so blue and cold, that he pressed his lips to them. She broke away suddenly, her breaths coming in short gasps.

He drew in a jaded breath and picked her up.

She was hard to carry and he briefly considered using magic to make her lighter, but remembered that he had left his wand in his dorm. Somehow, however, he managed to carry her all the way the bathrooms and set her down in a tub.

'Stay here,' he whispered. 'I'll get a book to see what you need.'

But she wouldn't let go of him.

'Selene,' he said firmly. 'You need to let go.'

She shook her head quickly.

'Don't leave me again,' she mumbled in her delirium.

Gently, he prised her off him and ran quickly to his dorm. He ignored the other orphans as they sat up, rubbing their eyes, as he threw his books on his bed in search for his book of Healing Charms. Giving up, he pointed his wand at the trunk.

'Accio Healing Book.'

The book soared from the bottom of the trunk and he snatched it and ran back to the bathroom to see Selene's eyelids fluttering as she slipped into unconsciousness.

'Oh no you don't,' he said, slapping her cheeks. 'Come on, stay awake.'

He quickly flipped to the page on hypothermia and set to filling the bath tub with warm water. Selene let out a scream and Tom quickly clamped a hand over her mouth lest they get caught.

'Too hot!' she said frantically. 'Too hot! It's burning!'

Tom quickly turned the cold water tap and Selene calmed down. A smile came to her lips as the bathtub filled.

'B…better,' she shivered.

Tom dipped his fingers in the water.

'It's cold,' he said flatly. 'You'll just get worse.'

He looked back to the book and it suggested a charm to gradually warm up the water.

'_Zestisio,'_ he said, pointing his wand at the water.

The water bubbled a little and Selene closed her eyes, looking happy in her delirium.

'Hmn, warm,' she murmured.

Tom sighed and sunk to the ground and leant his head against the bathroom wall, exhausted.

'What happened to you?' he asked, wondering if she was fit to give a coherent answer.

'You left me,' she mumbled. 'I had to apparate.'

'You apparated?' he interrupted sharply. 'Did you have a wand?'

'N…no,' she muttered. 'No w…wand.'

He blinked, surprised. Even _he _had never been able to apparate without a wand. He was sure that Selene was not so good at magic.

'Then how come you didn't apparate back here?'

'T…too w…weak. I got t…to sh…shore and…and w…walked. F…freezing. C…cold.'

Tom bit his lip and then went over to the bath and started unbuttoning her shift.

'N…no…'

'You need to,' he said. 'It's blocking the heat of the water.'

She relaxed and let him undress her. He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips as he removed her underwear and she gave a faint sigh.

'Y…you l..left m…me,' she said after a while.

Tom turned his eyes away from her naked body and stood up and looked for towels for her.

'Yes.'

'I…I….'

She swallowed thickly.

'I.. would n….never l…leave you.'

He turned around and looked at her and, for the first time, almost felt jealous of her.

'You're not me. You haven't done the things I've done.'

'We…we're n…not that d…different,' she mumbled.

He shook his head at her naivety.

'We are,' he said shortly. 'You should stay that way,' he added quietly.

She said nothing, but he was relieved to see the colour returning to her skin.

'You're probably hungry,' he realised. 'Don't move.'

He left the room and went to the kitchens. With a wave of his hand, the lock to the pantry was open and he took some bread. He then went to the fridge and got some milk and warmed it up, putting the pieces of bread in the milk.

When he came back, her eyes were open. She didn't turn when he entered the room, but kept staring at the ceiling.

'Here, it's warm,' he said handing it to her.

She shook her head and made no move to take the mug.

'Selene,' he said firmly. 'Drink it.'

'No,' she said faintly. 'I don't have the energy.'

He sighed and brought the mug to her lips.

'Drink,' he ordered.

She opened her lips and swallowed as he held it for her. She then put her hands on top of his and drained the cup hungrily. Tom couldn't help noticing as a few drops of milk slid down her chin and then onto her chest.

'Do you want more?' he asked uncertainly.

She shook her head.

'No.'

'Are you feeling better now?' he asked.

She didn't say anything and he put a finger under her chin and turned her face to look at him.

Her eyes seemed slightly unfocused, but otherwise she seemed okay.

'Did you really not care if I lived or died?' she asked, blinking and looking him straight in the eye.

He dropped her chin and looked away.

'I came back for you,' he said begrudgingly. 'You were gone. I thought you _had_ died.'

She gave a faint snort.

'I'm sure you were happy at the thought.'

He turned to look at her and noticed that the dryness in her tone meant that she must have recovered.

He said nothing and she lay back in the bath tub, resting her head on the ledge.

'I hate you.'

'Fair enough,' he muttered.

She went to get up, but her legs gave way and she nearly slipped. Tom caught her just in time and his breath quickened as he realised that she was wet, naked, and pressed up against him.

She leant her head against his chest and screwed up her eyes.

'Fuck you, Tom,' she whispered through clenched teeth. 'You're a bastard.'

He didn't know what to say to this, because it was true. He also didn't care that she hated him because he felt the same way about her.

They stood like this- her head against his chest, and his arms around her- for what seemed like an age.

Eventually, he let go of her and she straightened up and took a towel and wrapped it around her, looking him coldly in the eye as she did so.

Without another word, she walked out of the bathroom and back to her dorm.

* * *

Selene did not so much as look at Tom throughout the rest of the holiday. His leaving her had been the last straw for her- she had run out of reasons to forgive him. The fact that he evidently did not care whether she had lived or died was enough for her to realise that she was done with babying him with her forgiveness.

She hated going to sleep every night, though, because she would remember how he had looked after her. She would remember how she _felt_ foreign yearnings stirring inside of her when he had touched her, when he had touched his lips to hers, when he held her naked body to his…

Her dreams were even worse. They were more graphic; filled with lust and her doing things with Tom which she knew she would never do in a million years.

Every morning, she would wake suddenly, in a sweat. Sometimes she would feel a dull tension in her lower abdomen, and once she even had a throbbing sensation in her nether region...

She found she became irritable during the day and tired much more easily. Tasks which used to take her one hour took two, and she had no energy to play with the other orphans any more.

But she hated him. Of that she was certain, and decided that the longer she hated him- the less frequent would her dreams haunt her.

* * *

'What did he do to you?'

Selene stared at Malkin in disbelief.

'I beg your pardon? I had a lovely holiday, thanks for asking. How was yours?' Selene responded sarcastically.

'What did he do to you?' Malkin demanded, ignoring Selene's retort.

Selene crossed her arms defiantly.

'Nothing. What makes you think…'

'You have dark circles under your eyes, you've lost weight, and you look anxious. Oh God, he's got you under the Imperius, doesn't he?'

Selene laughed humourlessly.

'That's too nice for Tom,' she said darkly.

Malkin's face blanched and she grabbed Selene's shoulders suddenly.

'What did he do?' she repeated frantically.

Selene laughed at Malkin and sat down in her seat.

'Nothing,' she lied. 'He didn't do anything. He's just creepy Tom, as always.'

They both looked up suddenly as their door slammed open.

'Speaking of the devil,' Selene said darkly, glaring at Tom.

He glared back at her.

'What did you say to Sister Jackie about me?' he demanded.

Selene raised her eyebrows but then started laughing as she remembered her story.

Tom tapped his foot impatiently, glaring at Selene, and then pulled her out of the compartment. Malkin followed.

'Oh no you don't…'

Tom turned around and glared at her.

'I would stay out of this, _Malkin_,' he said icily. 'Unless you want me to spill a secret about your little affair with a certain someone?'

Malkin stared at Tom in shock and her face blanched.

'H…how…?'

He smiled coldly and slid the compartment door shut in her face. She made no attempt to follow them.

'What was that about?' Selene asked curiously.

Tom shrugged and then returned to glaring at her.

'What did you say?' he demanded.

Selene laughed coldly.

'Why?' What did Sister Jackie say?' she sneered.

Tom glared at her and then thrust out the book Sister Jackie had given him.

Selene laughed.

'Homosexuality and God,' she read aloud. 'Well, Tom! I suppose you'll just have to choose one or the other. Personally, I think you've already lost hope with God, so I'd just stick with the Homosexuality.'

Tom pushed Selene against the wall, his hand against her neck. Selene's eyes widened in shock.

'What. Did. You. Say?' he whispered so icily that Selene shivered.

She swallowed and then slapped his hand off her neck.

'Fuck off, Tom,' she said angrily.

He grabbed her wrist so tightly Selene winced.

'Let GO!' she shouted.

'What's going on here?'

They turned around to see Alphard, looking angry.

'Tom was just leaving,' Selene said severely as she glared at Tom.

Tom glared back at her.

'We're not finished with this,' he hissed, before spinning around and leaving.

Selene sighed and turned to Alphard.

'Hey Alphard,' she said, running a hand through her hair wearily.

'Was he giving you a hard time?' said Alphard, his tone harsh.

Selene shrugged and smiled at Alphard.

'I can take care of myself,' she said pointedly.

'Yes, but Riddle is something else.'

Selene shrugged nonchalantly.

'I can deal with him myself,' she said plainly.

Alphard watched her suspiciously.

'Whenever I see you two together, I always feel like I'm interrupting some 'moment',' he said uncomfortably.

Selene laughed.

'Tom is not the sort of person one has 'moments' with,' she lied. 'He's just…evil.'

'Hmn,' agreed Alphard. 'Good way of putting it.'

Selene shrugged.

'Did you have a good break?' Alphard asked tentatively, looking her up and down.

Selene suddenly felt annoyed.

'Okay, I haven't slept well for the past few weeks. And no, it has _nothing_ to do with Tom!' she exclaimed haughtily, storming off back to her and Malkin's compartment, leaving Alphard to blink in confusion at what he had said that could have been so offensive.

* * *

**Well I hope those who wanted some more definite Tom/Selene interaction are somewhat happier now. I'm so glad we're up to this point in the story because now is when it is fun for me to write!**

**And 2 chapters in 2 days? I think I deserve lots of reviews, don't you?**

**From the next chapter (which might appear tomorrow, depending on whether or not my review count is decent)—**

'_Are you joking?' she laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes. 'Oh Merlin, Tom. Please tell me you're joking- Lord Voldemort? What kind of stupid name is that? It sounds like 'mouldy death' or 'warts' or something!' _

AND…

'_Who was the first person you looked at once the potion hit you?' Slughorn asked apprehensively._

**Hint- the potion is Amortensia, and Selene is one of the people who got hit. Who will the other person be???**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	9. Chapter 9: Love Juice

**_'The juice of it on sleeping eye-lids laid  
Will make or man or woman madly dote  
Upon the next live creature that it sees.'_**

**__****- ****'A Midsummer Night's Dream****' - Shakespeare**

* * *

** Love Juice On Some True Love's Sight**

'Just great,' Selene muttered as she glanced around her Potions class. 'Remind me why we took Potions, again?'

'Because it's a subject we did remotely well in for our OWLs… and there aren't many decent jobs we could get into without a NEWT in Potions,' Malkin whispered.

Selene rolled her eyes at Malkin.

'You want to have a fashion line. Please explain how _Potions_ are going to help you with that?'

Malkin shrugged.

'It's all good knowledge to have.'

Selene shook her head in disbelief and Malkin kicked her under the table.

'We said we were going to start studying properly this year, remember?'

Selene sighed.

'Yeah, I suppose,' she said begrudgingly.

'Welcome to the first of your classes preparing for your NEWTs in Potions!' Professor Slughorn boomed. 'Now, you're going to be paired with one partner for the entire year this year, and another for all of next year.'

Everyone's faces fell. Someone cleared their throat and everyone looked to Tom who had raised his hand.

'Yes, m'boy?' Slughorn said jovially.

'Are we permitted to work alone?' Tom asked.

Slughorn laughed.

'Ah, Tom! I know you like to shine alone, but that is not what this class is about- it is about learning from each other so I'm afraid that you will definitely be paired.'

Tom nodded nonchalantly, though Selene could see the scowl in his eyes.

'On that note- you, Tom, with Miss Selene please.'

'No bloody way!'

Everyone turned to look at Selene who blushed as she realised she had said her thoughts aloud.

Slughorn raised an eyebrow at her.

'Was there a problem, Miss Asteria?'

Selene threw a glare at Tom.

'No. No problem,' she said through gritted teeth.

Slughorn watched her warily before continuing on with his pairings.

'Miss Malkin with Master Alphard.'

Both Malkin and Alphard paled and they looked horrified.

'Lucky you,' muttered Selene to Malkin who chewed her lip nervously.

After Slughorn had paired the rest of the class up, he clapped his hands.

'To your partners,' he boomed.

Selene looked at Tom pointedly, but Tom made no sign of moving to where she was sitting.

'So bloody annoying,' she seethed, getting up and going over to his desk.

'You still owe me an explanation,' he hissed in her ear.

'You left me in the middle of the fucking ocean to die,' she hissed back. 'I owe you nothing and you owe me forever.'

Tom pursed his lips.

'Right,' Slughorn said, clapping his hands again. 'You will have this lesson to prepare the theory for your allocated potion, and the next to make your potion. You may go to the library for research after I have allocated a potion to your group, but you must return by the end of class so I can test your research knowledge. This is how we shall work for the entire term. By Christmas, everyone will have made all of the potions given out today.'

'We're not researching together. Ever,' Tom said flatly.

'Well that's just _dumb,_' Selene muttered. 'But I'm fine with that. The less time in your presence, the better.'

'Right back at you.'

'Ah, Tom and Selene! I have a fun one for you two—Amortensia!'

Selen smiled a little, and then looked to Tom and saw that he looked furious.

'What's wrong now?' she sighed, rolling her eyes at him.

'I hate that potion,' he said through gritted teeth.

Selene laughed.

'Had a bad experience with it, have we?' she teased.

Tom's eyes darkened and he merely pursed his lips.

'I already know everything I need to know about it,' he said nonchalantly. 'You had better go to the library.'

Selene looked at him in disbelief.

'We're a _group_ Tom,' she snapped. 'We're meant to work _together,_' she said angrily.

Tom grimaced and shook his head.

'Too bad. I'm not wasting my time doing something I already know everything about.'

Selene shot him one final glare before throwing up her hands and stalking out of the classroom.

'Look, there's no need to be such a stroppy bitch. If you knew how to smile, maybe it wouldn't be so impossible for us to just work as a team.'

'Don't you call me a stroppy bitch, Alphard Black!' Malkin cried, her eyes flashing. Selene halted at the scene in front of her.

'What's going on?' she asked slowly, watching Malkin and Alphard carefully.

Alphard glared at Malkin.

'Merlin, I wish I was working with you, Selene. With Malkin's attitude, she and Tom belong together.'

Selene raised an eyebrow.

'Since when were you two on such intimate terms?' she said, confused.

Malkin glared daggers at Alphard.

'Since never. He's impossible to work with,' she seethed through gritted teeth. 'How about you work with me, Selene, and _Black _can work with Riddle?'

'Bloody hell! Why can't you just deal with it so we can get on with our assignment?'

'Because, you stupid, self-absorbed…'

Selene edged away.

'I…I need to go to the library,' she said slowly.

'Don't you leave me with her!'

'Don't you leave me with him!'

Selene blinked, trying to process how the two could hate each other so much, when only last term Malkin was in love with him.

'Okay…I need to go or else Tom might actually kill me so… yeah, I'm going. You're both nice, though, so I don't see any reason as to why you shouldn't get along,' she shrugged, walking off.

She had only walked two steps before she heard their bickering starting all over again.

* * *

Selene couldn't concentrate on the book in front of her. She _knew_ she was meant to read up on Amortensia, and _knew_ that she might look silly if she didn't know the answer to a question, but couldn't help thinking that Tom would be quick to answer all questions for her anyway- any chance to show off in front of a teacher.

Sighing, she lay her head against the back of her armchair and closed her eyes.

'You seem to be studying most diligently.'

Selene gasped and her eyes flew open to see Tom standing over her, looking disapproving.

'What are _you_ doing here?' she muttered irritably as she sat up.

'I was forced to go find my partner,' Tom responded shortly.

'Ah. Well, I see you've done that.'

'Hmn.'

He sat in the armchair opposite her and they looked at each other. Selene chewed her lip as she felt the heat creeping up her neck.

'What's your problem?' she said nervously. 'Why are you looking at me like that?'

A smile twisted upon Tom's lips.

'Tell me about Amortensia,' he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

Selene swallowed and stole a glance at her book. Suddenly, it snapped shut and Tom snapped his fingers, levitating it over to him.

'Hey!' she protested.

'You won't have the book when Slughorn asks you questions, now, will you?'

Selene glared at him.

'Oh, you think you're _so clever_ with your wandless magic, don't you?' she said sarcastically. 'Well, you're not the only one… _Tom.'_

Tom stiffened upon hearing her drawl his name. Selene smirked and concentrated on the book on his lap. It slowly rose, and soared back to her.

She looked up at Tom to see him staring at her in shock.

'How can you do that?' he shot, his tone accusatory. 'You're a mudblood.'

Selene laughed.

'Well, I suppose it just goes to show that mudbloods can do magic after all,' she said rolling her eyes.

He watched her, his eyes calculating.

'Who were your parents?'

Selene shrugged.

'No idea. Muggleborns, I'm told.'

'Haven't you ever thought to find them?'

'No,' she lied.

'Liar,' Tom hissed.

Selene looked away.

'There's no record of them. Apparently I was brought to the orphanage by a 'young man with an auburn beard',' Selene shrugged. 'That's all Mrs Cole said, anyway.'

Tom watched her curiously. Most purebloods couldn't perform feats of wandless magic voluntarily and it had taken years of intense practise for him to be competent in it. It struck him as very odd that Selene could do wandless magic so easily.

'Tom, why do you hate your name so much? It's such an ordinary name.'

Tom pursed his lips.

'Every second fool is called Tom.'

'Tomfool,' Selene laughed.

'I can put you back on that rock very easily,' Tom said icily.

Selene glared at him.

'And I can get off it myself,' she retorted, her eyes flashing.

Tom said nothing.

'So- if you weren't Tom- what would you want to be called?'

Tom watched her carefully. He had not told anyone the name he knew he would one day make his.

She watched him, waiting.

'Voldemort,' he said simply. 'Lord Voldemort.'

Selene stared at him, and then burst into laughter.

'Are you joking?' she laughed, wiping the tears from her eyes. 'Oh Merlin, tell me you're joking- Lord Voldemort? What kind of stupid name is that? It sounds like 'mouldy death' or 'warts' or something!'

Tom felt his blood boiling and, in a flash, Selene was flung off her chair, slamming into the book case behind her.

'You will never laugh at that name again,' he whispered to her icily. 'One day, the world will _fear_ my name so much they will be afraid to use it.'

Selene glared at him and dusted herself off, rubbing her head where it had hit the book case.

'They'll only be scared to use it because it's such a _stupid_ name,' she retorted. 'For someone who does as well as you do in school, _Tom_, you can be such an idiot.'

Tom went to wave his wand again, but this time Selene was quicker. He was flung high into the air, and crashed down on ground.

He groaned as he stood up, his nostrils flaring in rage.

'What is this?' Madame Vater screamed, storming up to them. 'Duelling? In _my library?_ Get out! The both of you!'

Selene and Tom glared at each other.

'Can I just borrow this book first?' Selene asked.

Madame Vater's eyes nearly bulged out of her head.

'Out! Out! No book for you- get OUT!'

Reluctantly, Selene slumped out of the library, Tom walking behind her. Her eyes widened as she felt the tip of his wand pressing into her back.

Suddenly, she ran back into the library.

'Sorry, Madame Vater, I forgot this,' she said, picking up her useless, scrunched up piece of parchment.

She smirked at Tom who was waiting outside and he scowled- this time, she was walking behind him.

'Attacking a lady isn't very gentlemanly behaviour,' she said, clicking her tongue as they walked down to potions. 'Certainly not becoming of a _lord_.'

Tom slammed her against the wall and Selene winced in pain as her head hit the stone wall.

'You will learn to have more respect for me, little _mudblood_,' he said icily.

Selene shook her head at him.

'How can I respect you when you do such horrible things? When you say such nonsense? When you call me a mudblood when your own father was a muggle?'

Tom's hand tightened around Selene's neck and she gagged. Breathing heavily, he released her.

'You have no right to speak to me. And never of that muggle fool who has nothing to do with me,' he whispered.

He glared at her before spinning around and walking off alone to the dungeons.

Selene leant back against the wall as she watched Tom walking off and rubbed her neck, feeling hurt tears springing to her eyes.

--

'Ah, now, Mr Riddle and Miss Asteria. Please, tell me about Amortensia.'

'It's a love potion, sir,' Tom responded mechanically. 'The strongest there is.'

Selene snorted.

'But it's not _true_ love. No potion can provide _that_.'

Tom glared at her.

'Very good, Miss Asteria. Now, can you tell me the main active ingredient in Amortensia?'

Selene faltered.

'Um…'

Tom's lips twisted into an evil smirk.

'I…don't know,' she admitted finally.

'It's damiana, sir. It's an aphrodisiac.'

'Excellent!' Slughorn boomed, beaming proudly as he regarded Tom.

'Now, Miss Asteria, surely you can name three other aphrodisiacs used to make the potion.

Selene looked at Slughorn dully.

'I don't know,' she said through gritted teeth. She clenched her fist as she saw Tom's lips twitching. 'But Tom seems to be very well acquainted with aphrodisiacs—they're probably the only way he can feel _anything—_ so I would ask him, sir,' she added.

Slughorn shook his head at Selene.

'That was very rude, Miss Asteria. Please apologise to Tom.'

Tom's smirk became more pronounced and Selene smiled sweetly at him.

'I'm so sorry, _my lord_, for revealing that you're such cold, unfeeling bastard that you need to take aphrodisiacs. I understand it's probably a very sensitive topic to you.'

--

'In my office so soon, Miss Asteria?' Professor Dumbledore said pleasantly as Selene slumped into the chair in front of his desk.

'Hmn.'

'What is it this time? Surely you are not still taking Arithmancy?'

'No, I got the message with my 'Troll' OWL result,' Selene said drily.

'I must say, Professor Tangent looks much happier these days. Why, his hair seems to be growing back!'

Selene stared at Dumbledore dully and he laughed.

'Ah, excuse me. I was merely joking at your expense. Forgive me.'

Selene shook her head.

'Well that's all I was doing to Tom!' she exclaimed indignantly. 'I just said that he needed aphrodisiacs to feel anything.'

Dumbledore bit his lip.

'Selene, what were you studying in potions, just now?'

'Amortensia,' she said, annoyed.

'Ah,' Dumbledore said lightly. 'I believe that may be a sensitive topic with Tom and would ask you refrain from taunting him about the topic.'

Selene raised her eyebrows incredulously.

'He's not made of glass!'

'Selene!

'Fine,' she sighed. 'I don't understand why, though…'

'And that is not for you to know,' Dumbledore said seriously.

Selene grumbled under her breath.

'It also says here that you hadn't used your study time effectively and knew nothing about Amortensia when you were questioned,' Dumbledore said disapprovingly.

Selene shrugged and Dumbledore's blue eyes became very serious.

'Selene, you may have scraped through your OWLs with minimal study last year, but raw talent will not suffice for your NEWTs. I ask that you apply yourself from now on.'

'Okay, okay, I will,' she grumbled. 'Anything else?'

Dumbledore smiled.

'Nothing else. Enjoy your studies!'

Selene sighed, wondering if that could ever be possible.

--

But that evening, Selene decided that she _would_ study. She was sick of Tom thinking she was just a 'mudblood idiot', because she knew she was better than that.

She went into her dorm to see Malkin punching her pillow.

'Am I interrupting something?' she asked tentatively.

Malkin looked up, her eyes wild and possessed.

'I hate him. So much.'

'Alphard?' Selene said in disbelief. 'I don't get it—sure, he can be a bit pompous at times— but what's to hate?

Malkin seethed.

'Him. His general- him.'

Selene sighed.

'I thought you liked him?'

Malkin gave a bark of a laugh.

'Like? Alphard? Ha!'

'Right,' Selene said slowly.

Malkin shook her head and punched her pillow one more time.

'I'm going to bed,' she said, suddenly, flopping down on her bed and pulling the covers over her.

'Okay, then,' Selene said, not sure what had become of her friend. 'Well I'm just going to find an empty classroom to study, so don't go looking for me.'

* * *

'We need to put the peppermint in now,' Tom said irritably. 'Is it that impossible for you to _ever_ bother with opening a book?'

Selene shook her head.

'No, if you save the peppermint until later, it will make the potion last far longer.'

'We're doing it my way.'

'No.'

'Listen, you stupid mudblood,' he hissed. '_I'm _the one who gets the better grades here, so let's…'

'Professor!' Selene piped up, raising her hand.

Slughorn pretended to ignore her, but she continued to call him. Eventually, he waddled over to their cauldron.

'Professor,' Tom said irritably. 'Miss Asteria over here wants to save the peppermint until last. But the book says…'

Slughorn regarded Selene, looking impressed.

'How very clever of you, Miss Asteria! Of course, the instructions your books give are standard ones- for the level of students- but more advanced books would certainly state that one should withhold the peppermint until the very last minute to make for a more potent potion.'

Tom stared at Selene in disbelief and she beamed at him.

'Miss Asteria, kindly join my 'Slug Club' tonight. Meet at my office, by 7pm. Dress is formal.'

And with that, Slughorn walked off, leaving Selene to smirk at Tom.

'Big deal,' he said flippantly. 'It's not as though we're going to _use_ this potion to need the effect to be prolonged.'

Selene rolled her eyes.

'Why can't you accept that I know more about this potion than you?'

'You will _never_ know more about it,' Tom muttered, stirring in their crushed passionflower leaves.

Selene watched him curiously, but said nothing. Eventually, she reached for the peppermint.

'The final step,' she said quietly. 'I wonder what I'll be able to smell?'

She added the peppermint and, suddenly, she was engulfed with the scent of warm sheets, new clothes, and new books.

She smiled and turned to Tom, who was frowning.

'What's wrong?'

'I…I don't smell anything,' he said quietly.

'Nothing?' Selene said in disbelief.

He shook his head.

'But…'

'YOU IDIOT! YOU'VE JUST RUINED OUR POTION!' Malkin screeched from across the room.

Selene and Tom looked up and, suddenly, a Bulbous Root was thrown across the room and hit their cauldron, knocking it over and spilling the amortensia it all over them both.

Slughorn raced over to them.

'Oh dear, oh dear,' he said, sounding very apprehensive. 'That's far too much, it'll surely have seeped through your skin.'

'What will happen to us?' Selene said, her voice shaking with fear.

'Who was the first person you looked at once the potion hit you?' Slughorn asked apprehensively.

Selene and Tom looked at each other in horror.

* * *

**Dun dun dun... what's about to happen to Selene and Tom?**

**I think you might like the next chapter...**

_"Selene, someone is trying to separate us. They're trying to take you away from me. "_ - Tom Riddle

**Ladida what will happen, I wonder?**

_'Slowly, he leant forward and kissed her.'_

**.... but no chapter for you unless I get many reviews! **

**So. To get this chapter to you as quickly as I have, I've lost a lot of sleep. Show me that you appreciate it, and I might lose a bit more and get the next chapter to you just as quickly! **

**Reviewing doesn't take long, I promise. It's not painful... in fact, afterwards, you are usually left with a warm, fuzzy feeling because you know you've done something good.**

**So do it. Get that warm fuzzy feeling!**

**Love Anya**

**p.s. If the website doesn't let you leave signed reviews, ( I've been doing some maintenance on previous chapters so it might say something like 'you can't review because you've already done so'), you can just leave 'anonymous' ones.**


	10. Chapter 10: Not A False Turned True

**_"And Helena of Athens look thou find:  
All fancy-sick she is and pale of cheer,  
With sighs of love, that costs the fresh blood dear"_**

**_- 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'- Shakespeare_**

* * *

**Not A False Turned True**

'Tom is so lovely- so handsome. He's so… unbelievable, isn't he? Where is he? I must find him!'

'You're not going anywhere,' Malkin said flatly, guarding the door to their dorm, her wand at the ready.

Muriel giggled.

'I fail to see what is so humorous about this situation,' Augusta said drily.

'Well, didn't the potion spill on Tom also? Surely he's in his dorm, trying to find a way to Selene now?'

'No,' Malkin said, shaking her head. 'It didn't do anything to him. He just got up and left. Well, he _tried to_, I should say. Selene was sort of all over him and started hexing everyone who tried to free Riddle.'

Muriel bit her quivering lip.

'All over him?'

'Yeah, she kept trying to snog him. It was sort of funny… given that he's Riddle.'

'Riddle! Tom! I love Tom Riddle! Why are you talking about my love? Is he coming? Where is he?'

They all sighed and Selene got off her bed and started rummaging through her trunk. She pulled out a ball gown she had worn for the previous year's Yule Ball and started putting it on.

'What are you doing, Selene?' Augusta asked apprehensively.

'I'm wearing my best dress. Tom and I are getting married.'

'No, no, you're not. Look…'

Selene looked up at them, her face darkening uncharacteristically.

'Yes,' she said, her tone threatening. 'And you're _not_ going to stop me.'

Malkin shook her head.

'You're not getting past this door,' she sighed exasperatedly as Selene started blotting lipstick on her lips.

Selene regarded herself in the mirror and then smiled at them innocently. In a split second, she had snatched Augusta's broomstick from her bed and had kicked off, flying out of the window.

'Shit!' Malkin groaned, running to the window. 'I forgot about the window!'

'Selene Asteria,' bellowed Augusta, 'You get back here right NOW!'

But Selene was no where to be seen and they all exchanged horrified looks at what Selene might do now.

'Fuck. Okay, we have to go find him,' Malkin said apprehensively.

They all nodded and tore out of their dorm.

* * *

'Refreshment, sir?'

Tom shook his head and continued to stand on his own whilst the others in the Slug Club walked around and 'mingled' with each other. He was trying to figure out why the amortensia had no effect on him. He knew his mother had given it to his father, but did that make him immune to the love potion altogether?

It had definitely affected Selene very strongly.

His eyes widened as he saw her at the door of the room. She was wearing a white ball gown, her long, wavy brown hair flowing down her back as she entered the room. He became rigid as he realised that he was noticing her beauty, but then decided that it was the amortensia finally kicking in. It probably just had a much weaker effect on him because he had a stronger mind. He was satisfied with this conclusion.

'Oh no you don't,' he whispered as she spotted him and walked up to him purposefully.

But, in a flash, she was in front of him.

'Tom,' she said seriously, her hazel eyes watching him searchingly.

He stiffened as she reached out a hand and touched his face. Her eyelids fluttered close as she touched his skin and her red lips twisted into a smile.

'Tom, tell me we'll never be separated. Tell me you love me,' she whispered.

Tom looked around for a way to escape without drawing attention to himself. The last thing he wanted was for all his peers to see him fraternising with a mudblood.

Looking around carefully, he quickly pulled her behind the curtain. Selene giggled breathlessly.

'I didn't like the party anyway,' she giggled. 'I much prefer here, with you, in private…'

She leant forward to kiss him, and Tom moved back. He wondered how he could get around his situation.

'Selene, can you do something for me?'

She opened her eyes, blinking dreamily.

'Only if you kiss me first,' she smiled, leaning forward again.

'I'll kiss you later,' he lied. 'Surely you love me enough to do something for me?'

Her eyes widened.

'Of course! Of course! _Anything_ for you!' she said dutifully.

'Selene, someone is trying to separate us. They're trying to take you away from me. Can you go back to your dorm and wait there for me? Go quickly and don't tell anyone anything. Say nothing about how you love me—just go back to your dorm.'

Selene's lip quivered.

'Someone wants to… separate us?' she said, her voice wavering.

Tears slid down her cheeks and Tom felt disgusted as he saw the effects of the potion. It was so obviously fake- how could his fool of a mother be so deluded into accepting it?

'Yes,' he said, chewing his lip. 'I need you to go to your dormitory where you'll be safe. I'll come and get you tomorrow morning and we'll escape then.'

'And get married?' Selene asked hopefully.

He forced a smile.

'Yes, and get married.'

'Oh _Tom_!'

She launched herself at him, hugging him to her closely. He shifted uncomfortably as he felt her breasts- which were mostly bare in her ballgown- pressing against his chest.

'Tom, I can't wait until tomorrow,' she breathed in his ear huskily. 'I can't wait until then, Tom. Please- no one can see us now- please Tom…'

'Please what?' he asked uncomfortably, trying to push her off him.

'_Take me_. I'm pure, Tom. Pure for you, only.'

Tom swallowed thickly, his hands shaking. Love was one feeling, but lust was something completely different and, for one short moment, he found it hard to breathe as he became overcome with the emotion.

He felt her drawing the bottom of her dress up and screwed his eyes tightly.

'No,' he said firmly, holding her wrists.

Selene looked up at him, looking pained.

'But Tom,' she pleaded. 'I _need_ you. I feel like I'll suffocate unless I feel you inside of me.'

He tried to cover his ears.

'Look, just go,' he said through gritted teeth.

He opened his eyes suddenly as he felt her kissing him lingeringly. He had never been kissed by anyone before and it was strange—wet, but also warm and…

It felt like some kind of electricity. It was addictive.

He closed his eyes, sighing as he felt the tip of her tongue tracing his bottom lip as she kissed him more purposefully.

'Selene,' he groaned against her lips. 'Just…go…'

It was the amortensia. There had to be no other explanation for it. Normally, he was cold, detached—a killer.

He had killed.

He kept trying to think of all the murders he had committed, but these disappeared from his thoughts hazily as she moved and trailed burning kisses down his neck.

'It's not real,' he muttered to himself. 'It's not real…'

He screwed his eyes up and pushed Selene away from him. She looked at him, shocked.

'Did you not like that, my Lord?'

His breath caught and he felt his heart rate quickening.

'What…What did you just call me?' he whispered huskily.

'My Lord,' she said, looking confused. 'You want me to call you Lord Voldemort, don't you?'

Something inside of him squirmed pleasurably at hearing her calling him that and he felt his resolve slipping again.

He pulled her to him.

'Go and wait for me in the dungeons,' he said raspily in her ear.

She looked terrified.

'But what if they find me?'

'Who?'

'Those people who want to separate us,' she whispered.

He shook his head.

'They won't.'

'How do you know, my Lord?'

There it was again.

'Just go,' he whispered urgently. 'I'll be there in a minute.

She pulled him to her one last time, crashing her lips on his, but then quickly pushed him away. With an affected sniff, she disappeared.

Tom exhaled unsteadily and sunk to the ground, running a shaking hand through his hair.

'You can't do this,' he muttered to himself. 'You can't. It's not right.'

He snorted.

'Since when did I care about right and wrong?'

But something else bothered him—it was the fact that he was doing exactly what his mother had done to his fool of a father.

'But I'm surely under the influence myself,' he thought. 'It's not _my fault_. My foolish mother had a choice—I don't have one, now, do I? If I wasn't under that damned potion, I wouldn't be feeling this…'

He stood up slowly and walked briskly across the ballroom, ignoring everyone else, and went out to the corridor. His legs walked him all the way down to the dungeons, where she was waiting.

Allowing himself to accept that he was under the influence, he decided that it was allowable for him to notice how beautiful she really was as she leant against the door, the moon's light shining upon her smooth, ivory skin.

She was almost glowing.

'My Lord,' she whispered, walking forward to meet him.

Her lips were so red, so plump… all he wanted to do was kiss them again.

And that was acceptable, because it was the Amortensia, _not _him.

He reached forward and cupped her cheek in his hand, marvelling at how smooth her skin felt against his fingers. She shivered, and smiled.

'You're so cold,' she whispered, taking his fingers in her hand and kissing his fingertips.

Tom groaned, his desire for her becoming more urgent.

Slowly, he leant forward and kissed her. Again, that warmth which only came from her lips spread through his body- all the way to his finger tips. He broke away, his breath ragged, and she leant forward and kissed him urgently.

'I need you, my Lord,' she begged him. 'I _need _you.'

He needed her too. His body, all his senses needed her as well. His thoughts had no place in this situation, and even if he wanted to gain control, it would be futile. The potion had seen to that. It was the strongest love potion in the world. There was no way he could fight it.

He pulled her to him roughly and crashed his lips on hers. She groaned into his mouth and he hoisted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as he stumbled through desks until he finally sat her roughly on Slughorn's desk.

They separated for a moment. Her chest was heaving and all he could look at was her round breasts as they rose and fell, covered only by her white gown.

'Tom…'

He didn't need any further invitation. He closed the distance between them and kissed her lips again, before moving down to her neck, and then her breasts as she hurriedly pushed it down to her waist.

'So beautiful,' he murmured.

He saw her nipples hardening and then was then overcome by a strange urge to suck them. She moaned and her head fell back against the table.

'Tom, I _need_ you,' she whimpered, tugging at his pants.

He helped her undo them quickly and she made him lie on the table as, with nimble fingers, she undid the buttons on his shirt and trailed kisses all the way to his navel.

She lifted the skirt of her gown and sat so that she was straddling him. Tom let out a guttural growl as he felt his erection straining against his boxer shorts, her own entrance so close to him.

She leant forward and kissed him softly, her nipples grazing his chest as she did so.

'Tell me you love me, Tom,' she whispered against his lips.

Tom took a sharp intake of breath as she slipped a hand inside his pants.

'_Tell me!'_ she whispered, looking into his eyes desperately.

He swallowed thickly, finding it hard to speak with her hand was pleasuring him as she was.

She frowned and removed her hand. He groaned at the loss of contact.

'Don't you love me, Tom?' she whispered, glassy tears beginning to form in her eyes.

He faltered. Surely the potion meant that he would say it easily.

She shook her head at him, tears spilling down her cheeks and leant forward and kissed him again, fervently. Hot, searing kisses down his jaw, neck…

'Tell me!' she sobbed into his groin. 'I love you _so much_, Tom. _So _much. _Please_, please tell me, or else I'll die…'

But he couldn't say it at all, because he had too much control of his thoughts and actions. He bit his lip and sat up, lifting her so they were eye-to-eye.

Her breathing was ragged and her eyes wildly desperate.

'My lord,' she said. 'My body is yours. Please, take me. Please say you'll love me.'

'SELENE!'

Selene stopped and sat very still. She then looked to Tom, her eyes wide.

'It's them!' she whispered, terrified. 'They've come to take me away from you!'

Tom didn't say anything and she clutched at his shoulders desperately.

'Please don't let them take me away!' she begged, tears spilling down her cheeks again. 'Whatever you want, I'll do it. Just don't let them take me away from you!'

Tom said nothing and she pushed him to lie down on the desk again, wiping her eyes hurriedly.

'If you take me, then you'll love me,' she said desperately. 'Then, you won't let them take me.'

She hurriedly tried to rip her dress off her, but ended up becoming stuck.

Tom slid from beneath her and zipped up his pants again.

'Sh,' he said softly as she thrashed about in the white silk and chiffon of her dress.

She stopped, and he gently fixed the dress so that it was on her properly.

He chewed his lip as he looked as he watched her hazel eyes welling up with tears, and she hugged him to her, sobbing in his chest.

'I love you,' she whimpered.

Tom lifted her chin so that she could look at him and kissed her soft lips again. She calmed down a little.

'Selene,' he asked, his voice becoming hard. 'What do you feel like at the moment?'

'I feel nothing but love for you, my lord,' she whispered. 'It's running through my veins…'

She took his hand and put it to her breast.

'Do you feel my heart?' she whispered. 'It's beating for you. Only you, my Lord.'

Tom screwed up his nose and turned around, pinching the bridge of his nose. This was all wrong.

_She _was under the influence. The only influence he was under was Butterbeer, and that didn't count.

'SELENE!' someone called, approaching where they were.

'Selene,' he said through gritted teeth, 'Come with me.'

'Where are we going?' she whispered, going to kiss him again.

'We're going to escape,' he spat, wrenching her arm as he pulled her out of the classroom. He spotted Malkin down the corridor and dragged Selene over to her.

'My Lord,' she said, her tone quavering with fear as she dug her heels and refused to keep walking. 'She wants to take me away from you!'

'Malkin!' he called.

Malkin spun around and breathed in relief as she saw Selene.

'Oh thank Merlin, _there _you are!'

Selene screamed and hugged Tom tightly.

'She wants to take me away! Don't let her,' she screamed into his chest.

Tom tried to push Selene off him.

'SELENE!' Malkin shouted, trying to pull Selene away.

'NO! Go away! I hate you. You want to take me away from my heart.'

Tom felt sick.

'Get off me,' he ordered, his tone becoming cold.

'No! No!...'

'Selene!' he ordered her.

She looked up at him, her eyes red.

'Let go of me. You love me, don't you?'

Slowly, she let go of him.

In a split second, he had his wand out.

'_Stupefy.'_

He caught her before she hit the ground.

'What did you do that for?' Malkin shouted at him.

Tom glared at her.

'You were doing a terrible job of looking after her. Evidently, you needed a little extra help.'

Malkin looked at him coldly, but then quickly looked away as she conjured a stretcher and tried to lift Selene onto it. Tom sighed and flicked his wand. Selene rose off the ground, onto the stretcher.

'See that she doesn't find me again whilst she's like this,' Tom said to Malkin, storming off.

He broke out into a run as soon as he turned the corridor.

'What was that?' he muttered to himself. 'What was _that_? I thought I was under…'

His eyes widened.

'No, I would never, not of my own accord…'

He paused as he saw that he was at Slughorn's office and quickly summoned a packet of iced pineapple.

He needed to do something to cement his commitment to his future. Tonight had scared him—how easily he could slip into mere mortal normalcy. Murder evidently wasn't enough.

He needed more.

--

Everyone was sitting lounging around when Tom returned. Silently, he took his seat amongst the other boys of the group.

'Where have you been, Tom m'boy?' Slughorn boomed, noticing Tom's return.

Tom smiled cordially.

'I forgot—I had bought this for you. I believe it is your favourite.'

Tom got up and went to the winged armchair which Slughorn was lounging on.

'Crystallized pineapple!' Slughorn beamed. 'Thank you, m'boy!'

Tom forced a smile and sat back down on his own chair.

'Sir, is it true that Professor Merrythought is retiring?' he asked.  
'Tom, Tom, if I knew I couldn't tell you,' said Slughorn, wagging his finger reprovingly at him, though winking at the same time. 'I must say, I'd like to know where you get your information, boy; more knowledgeable than half the staff, you are.'  
Tom smiled; the other boys laughed and cast him admiring looks. He ignored them.  
'What with your uncanny ability to know things you shouldn't, and your careful flattery of people who matter – thank you for the pineapple, by the way, you're quite right, it is my favourite –'  
Several of the boys tittered again.  
'- I confidently expect you to rise to Minister for Magic within twenty years. Fifteen, if you keep sending me pineapple. I have _excellent_ contacts at the Ministry.'  
Tom merely smiled as the others laughed again. He despised them for looking up to him so much—it showed just how weak they were. And yet, he knew he wouldn't have it any other way.  
'I don't know that politics would suit me, sir,' he said when the laughter had died away. 'I don't have the right kind of background, for one thing.'  
A couple of boys around him smirked at each other. Again, Tom ignored them.

'Nonsense,' said Slughorn briskly, 'couldn't be plainer you come from decent wizarding stock, abilities like yours. No, you'll go far, Tom, I've never been wrong about a student yet.'  
The small golden clock standing upon Slughorn's desk chimed eleven o'clock behind him and he looked round.  
'Good gracious, is it that time already? You'd better get going, boys, or we'll all be in trouble. Lestrange, I want your essay by tomorrow or it's detention. Same goes for you, Avery.'  
One by one the boys filed out of the room. This was Tom's chance, and he knew it.

As Slughorn heaved himself out of his armchair and carried his empty glass over to his desk, Tom went and stood behind him. He started upon seeing him.

'Look sharp, Tom, you don't want to be caught out of bed out of hours, and you a prefect ...'  
'Sir, I wanted to ask you something,' he asked tentatively.  
'Ask away, then, m'boy, ask away ...'

Tom swallowed. This was what he had to do—he _had _to, to show his commitment to himself. He had been too lax as of late. _Too kind…_  
'Sir, I wondered what you know about ... about Horcruxes?'  
Slughorn stared at him, his thick fingers absent-mindedly caressing the stem of his wine glass.  
'Project for Defence Against the Dark Arts, is it?'  
'Not exactly, sir,' Tom said easily. 'I came across the term while reading and I didn't fully understand it.'  
'No ... well ... you'd be hard-pushed to find a book at Hogwarts that'll give you details on Horcruxes, Tom. That's very Dark stud, very Dark indeed,' said Slughorn.  
'But you obviously know all about them, sir? I mean, a wizard like you – sorry, I mean, if you can't tell me, obviously – I just knew if anyone could tell me, you could – so I just thought I'd ask –' Tom said casually, carefully to keep the flattery in his tone.  
'Well,' said Slughorn, not looking at Tom, but fiddling with the ribbon on top of his box of crystallised pineapple, 'well, it can't hurt to give you an overview, of course. Just so that you understand the term. A Horcrux is the word used for an object in which a person has concealed part of their soul.'  
'I don't quite understand how that works, though, sir,' said Tom, trying to control his excitement.  
'Well, you split your soul, you see,' said Slughorn, 'and hide part of it in an object outside the body. Then, even if one's body is attacked or destroyed, one cannot die, for part of the soul remains earthbound and undamaged. But, of course, existence in such a form ...'  
Slughorn's face crumpled.  
'... few would want it, Tom, very few. Death would be preferable.'

Tom dismissed this thought. Death was for the weak. He only wanted to be immortal—to be far greater than everyone else. And, for that, he would have to go this far.

He was no longer reluctant at all—this was _exactly_ what he wanted.  
'How do you split you soul?'  
'Well,' said Slughorn uncomfortably, 'you must understand that the soul is supposed to remain intact and while. Splitting it is an act of violation, it is against nature.'  
'But how do you do it?' Tom persistent, impatient with Slughorn's hesitance.  
'By an act of evil – the supreme act of evil. By committing murder. Killing rips the soul apart. The wizard intent upon creating a Horcrux would use the damage to his advantage: he would encase the torn portion –'

Tom's breath caught. He had already committed murder.  
'Encase? But how -?'  
'There is a spell, do not ask me, I don't know!' said Slughorn, shaking his head like an old elephant bothered by mosquitoes. 'Do I look as though I have tried it – do I look like a killer?'  
'No, sir, of course not,' said Tom quickly, realising he had let his flattey slip up. 'I'm sorry ... I didn't mean to offend ...'  
'Not at all, not at all, not offended,' said Slughorn gruffly. 'It's natural to feel some curiosity about these things ... wizards of a certain calibre have always been drawn to that aspect of magic ...'  
'Yes, sir,' said Tom. 'What I don't understand, though – just out of curiosity – I mean, would one Horcrux be much use? Can you only split your soul once? Wouldn't it be better, make you stronger, to have your soul in more pieces? I mean, for instance, isn't seven the most powerfully magical number, wouldn't seven -?'  
'Merlin's beard, Tom!' yelped Slughorn. 'Seven! Isn't it bad enough to think of killing one person? And in any case ... bad enough to divide the soul ... but to rip it into seven pieces ...'  
Slughorn looked deeply troubled now and Tom could now tell that he was regretting entering into the conversation at all.  
'Of course,' he muttered, 'this is all hypothetical, what we're discussing, isn't it? All academic ...'  
'Yes, sir, of course,' said Tom quickly.  
'But all the same, Tom ... keep it quiet, what I've told – that's to say, what we've discussed. People wouldn't like to think we've been chatting about Horcruxes. It's a banned subject at Hogwarts, you know ... Dumbledore's particularly fierce about it ...'

Tom nodded reassuringly.  
'I won't say a word, sir,' he said. 'Thank you, sir,'

And with that he left. As he did, he felt wild happiness engulfing him. It was like ecstasy, running through his veins as he realised that he was so close…

Before long, he would be immortal. His eyes widened as the smile spread widely across his face.

He was finally back on track.

* * *

**Ladida… I had fun with this chapter. Did you?**

**Thanks, again, to Sarah for sending me the 'Slughorn' scene. **

**Now, your quote—**

'_And I'm your lover! Don't you care how I feel? Always being cast to the side- made to pretend that I hate you?'_

**Who is that? I'm not telling… also, a bit more sexytime next chapter, but I'm not saying who.**

**So, remember how we were talking about that warm fuzzy feeling? You guys did quite well with the last chapter and, seeing as this was quite the eventful chapter, I'm sure you'll have lots to say!**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	11. Chapter 11:More Vices Than It Had Before

"_**Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless**__**garden**__**when the flowers are dead.**__**"-**_** Oscar Wilde**

**

* * *

**

**More Vices Than It Had Before**

Salty sweat dripped from his hair and his breath came in ragged grunts. He swallowed thickly as he realised he was near the finish, and squinted as he looked up at the blue morning sky.

'Oh fuck…' he groaned.

He bit his suddenly, tasting blood as he gave a final thrust and felt his release, warmth spreading instantly throughout his body.

For a few seconds, he was paralysed. Once he had recovered, he sighed and pulled out, dropping to the ground and lying on the grass, exhausted.

'Spliff?'

'Cheers,' he said, taking the joint and looking through his jean pockets for his wand.

'Wanna go to Hogsmeade together next weekend?'

Sean shook his head.

'Oh c'mon…'

'Look, Simon,' he said, sitting up and lighting the joint with his wand. 'I just can't.'

Simon pouted and sat up, tracing circles on Sean's knee.

'Why not. Why do you care what others think?'

Sean regarded Simon severely, but then sighed and kissed the corner of his mouth lightly.

'I…I can't. Those boys— they're my friends! They've been my friends for so long that—'

'And I'm your lover! Don't you care how _I _feel? Always being cast to the side- made to pretend that I hate you?'

Simon sighed and flopped back down on the grass.

'I hate this,' he said moodily.

Sean bit his lip.

'One day,' he said tentatively. 'One day, maybe the world won't judge us for what we are, but who we are.'

Simon scoffed.

'Oscar Wilde had that dream too. It didn't get _him_ too far.'

'Well what do you want me to do?' Sean snapped, crossing his arms. 'I won't lose my friends.'

'You love him, don't you?'

'I love you, Simon, for fuck's sake!'

'No, you like me because I'm gay and you fancy a shag from time to time—but you don't _love_ me. You love Alphie.'

Sean said nothing, but his mouth became a thin line.

'But what would he say if he knew?' Simon continued. 'What would he say if he knew his _closest friend_ was in love with him?'

Sean tugged at his hair and then got up suddenly and started dressing.

'You can be a real prick, sometimes,' he sneered. 'All I asked was that we keep things simple and uncomplicated. So many _straight_ couples keep themselves a secret, I don't understand why you had to try forcing me to become public with ours.'

Simon sat up and glowered at Sean, who was roughly putting his clothes back on.

'Are you breaking up with me?'

Sean looked at Simon and sighed.

'Yeah, I am. I can't take your bitching and whining any more. It's too much. See you round.'

--

'What's wrong with _you_?' Alphard laughed at Sean, punching his arm as he took his seat at the breakfast table. 'How was your run?'

Sean glowered.

'Enlightening.'

Alphard rolled his eyes at Sean.

'You always say that. You'll have to take me on one of these runs of yours, some day.'

Sean's lips twitched.

'Alphie,' he said, ruffling his hair and finding a stray bit of grass, 'I'd love nothing more to take you with me on a run. Unfortunately, I don't think you'd ever be up for it.'

'Hey! Of course I would be! I can rough it out!' Alphard exclaimed indignantly.

Sean laughed.

'Trust me,' he said, getting up. 'Whether you like it rough or not, you could never take it.'

* * *

Selene groaned as she woke up. Her eyes flew open as she felt overcome with nausea and ran to the window and threw up, over the ledge.

'Ugh,' she groaned, sinking to the ground and shaking. 'What's happened to me?'

She went back to bed and lay there, shivering.

'Selene, are you awake?'

Selene sat up to see Malkin drawing back her hangings. Malkin frowned.

'How are you feeling?'

'I've never had a hangover, but I'm sure this feels a hundred times worse,' Selene mumbled numbly.

Malkin laughed nervously.

'What happened to me?'

'Can't you remember?' Malkin asked sharply.

Selene shook her head.

Malkin sighed.

'That stupid Black got angry when I tried to snatch our Bulbous Root off him, and he tried to throw it in the bin. Of course, that boy has a terrible aim- which is why I'm so glad he's a Chaser on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team- and he got your cauldron of Amortensia instead.'

Selene blinked.

'And?'

Malkin's lips quivered.

'Um…so… the potion spilt on you and Tom and… you were kind in love with Tom Riddle yesterday.'

Selene stared at Malkin severely.

'Kind of?' she repeated, sharply.

Malkin sighed.

'Okay, fine. You snogged Tom fully in potions. Muriel, Augusta and I kept you hostage in this dorm, but you cleverly evaded us by fleeing from the window instead…'

'The window!' Selene exclaimed.

'You flew out,' Malkin said darkly.

Selene looked surprised.

'Oh, that's clever,' she said, looking impressed with herself.

'Hmn,' Malkin said, unimpressed.

Selene bit her lip.

'What else?'

'Well, you were constantly professing your undying love for him before you left- to the point that you donned your white ball gown. You then proceeded to find Tom- somehow- and, by the time he dragged your sorry arse back to me, you were begging him to 'take' you, you were calling him 'My Lord' and threw a huge tantrum when he tried to get rid of you.'

'Oh no.'

'Oh yes. He had to stun you to get stop you.'

Selene stared at Malkin in horror.

'Hang on,' she said quickly. 'Why wasn't Tom affected?'

Malkin shrugged.

'No idea. Maybe not as much got on him… I say, you must have done nasty things to him, though. He had a hickey on his neck and his shirt was undone when I saw him.'

Selene tugged at her hair.

'Oh Merlin!' she exclaimed, 'I'm going to have to kill myself! How can I ever face him again?'

Malkin laughed.

'Oh, come on. I'm sure everyone understands it wasn't your fault. If anything, it was funny.'

Selene glared at Malkin.

'Yeah, really _funny._ Say, I might just slip and spill the _Amortensia_ that you make with Alphard Black on _you two._ I'll see how _funny_ you find it afterwards.'

Malkin shrugged.

'The way we're going, it won't even work. He's terrible in potions. Your problem was…'

Malkin started laughing.

'You had actually studied so much for that class- and we all know Tom's brillant- so, your potion must have been _extra strength.'_

Selene groaned and buried her head in her pillow.

'The world doesn't want me to be smart,' she sighed. 'Whenever I study, it always comes back to bite me in the arse.'

Malkin laughed and lay back down.

'I don't know if that's how it works, but anyway—we should get some more sleep. It's only 4am.'

'I don't know how you expect me to sleep now that you've told me all this,' Selene said drily.

Malkin laughed and, feeling frustrated, Selene lay back down and shivered as she realised that she had potions again that morning.

* * *

She took her seat next to Tom, keeping her eyes off him at all costs.

'My, what a fickle woman you are. Spouting sonnets one minute, and then ignoring me the next.'

Selene turned on him, but then sighed.

'Come on, you know it was only the potion,' she said reasonably.

Tom raised an eyebrow and Selene shook her head, annoyed.

'Don't expect to ever hear me calling you 'my Lord' ever again,' she said through gritted teeth.

Tom chuckled humourlessly.

--

'Draft of Living Death. Excellent,' Tom said after they were allocated tasks.

'Why?' Selene said dully. 'Because you'll arrange one of your little Slytherin friends to spill it on me, this time?

Tom smiled sardonically.

'That would be _murder_, Selene,' he said, smiling at how little she knew about him.

Selene crossed her arms.

'Well, I wouldn't mind spilling some on _you_,' she huffed. 'I bet you thought it was _really funny_ when I was all over you, didn't you? And why didn't it affect _you_?' she accused him.

'I moved out of the way, didn't I?' he lied.

Selene said nothing and stopped walking, suddenly.

'What exactly did I do?' she asked, looking tormented. 'Malkin said how I kept trying to snog you and how your shirt was unbuttoned and my dress was torn in places… we didn't…?'

Tom's eyes widened as he remembered the searing heat of her kisses and quickly turned his thoughts to his Horcruxes.

'Nothing happened,' he said plainly.

'Surely _something_ must have happened?' Selene pressed.

'Fine,' he snapped. 'You kept trying to snog me, I kept trying to get you _off _me. At one point, you grabbed my shirt and managed to rip it open. If your dress was torn, it was because you kept trying to get it off so I would shag you.'

'We didn't, did we?' Selene muttered, looking at the ground, her cheeks colouring.

Tom swallowed quickly and put on an incredulous expression.

'Of course not! That's disgusting!'

Selene looked up at him, and Tom almost smiled as he saw how offended she was.

'You could do a lot worse than me, _Tom_,' she hissed. 'In fact, I'm far better than you will ever get.'

'Fortunately, I'm not interested in women.'

'Hence Sister Jackie's book for you.'

Selene swallowed as she saw the cold fury in Tom's expression and decided to drop the subject.

'Right. Let's just…research this potion, then,' she said, not speaking to him for the rest of the session.

--

Malkin narrowed her eyes as she watched Alphard watch Selene.

'Alphard,' she sighed. 'Why don't you just ask her out, already, if you like her so much?'

Alphard looked up to see Malkin, not shouting at him, but merely raising an eyebrow.

'Eh?'

Malkin smiled and shook her head at him.

'Selene. You obviously like her a lot. I don't understand why you don't just ask her out.'

Alphard snorted.

'As if she'll go out with me after everything you've told her about me,' he muttered.

Malkin laughed.

'You think I actually _told_ her about us?'

Alphard looked up at her in shock.

'You…you didn't tell her?'

Malkin sighed.

'Look, I think it's time we talked about this. I.. I liked you for a while. Quite a while.'

Alphard looked surprised and Malkin blushed.

'But then…I… well, I thought it would be you and Selene. You two actually talked during Arithmancy and, after a few classes, you seemed to get along.'

She cleared her throat.

'And then… this was my fault. All of it. I saw how worried you were when she was petrified, and I panicked, because I wanted you to notice _me_. But the entire time, I felt so guilty because I knew it wasn't me who you wanted, but her. I…I felt like such a bad person when I was with you and I blamed you for it.'

She sighed and looked up at Alphard who stared at her, in shock.

'So, what I'm saying here, is – sorry. I'm sorry for putting you through all that. I'm actually not as much of a bitch as you think I am. I just… well, I…'

She shook her head.

'Ah, never mind.'

'I wanted you.'

Malkin shook her head.

'No. You didn't.'

'Yes,' Alphard said, getting up and sitting in the chair next to her. 'When I was with you, I only wanted you. I had never even thought of Selene in that way. I just found her interesting.'

Malkin bit her lip.

'But you… I wanted _you._'

Malkin shrugged.

'Oh well. We ruined our chance. But… it would be nice if we weren't fighting all the time. It sort of gets me worked up for the rest of the day when we do.'

Alphard looked down at the table and Malkin took his hand.

'Friends?'

Alphard smiled, though it was bittersweet.

'I don't know if I'll be a good friend for you.'

Malkin laughed.

'So are you going to ask her out, then?'

Alphard watched Selene and then shook his head.

'No.'

Malkin groaned.

'Why not?'

Alphard shrugged.

'I don't see her in that way. She's so… _young_.'

'Young!' Malkin exclaimed.

Alphard nodded and smiled.

'She seems so innocent. She's not like any girl our age I've ever known.'

'Surely that's a good thing,' Malkin muttered.

'Yes and no. I find her interesting, but I don't want to go out with her. I don't see her in that way at all.'

Malkin groaned again and put her head in her arms on the table.

'Why can't you just be with someone else so I can forget about you?'

Alphard laughed.

'So that's what this is about?'

Malkin threw up her hands.

'I suppose it should be better now that we're talking again.'

She blushed and Alphard watched her closely.

'What?'

Malkin shook her head.

'Come on. What is it?' he pressed.

'I… I sometimes wonder it would have been like if I hadn't forced us to rush into doing it that day in Hogsmeade,' she whispered.

Alphard tucked a stray tendril of Malkin's hair behind her ear.

'You know, I don't think any boys here deserve you. Not yet, anyway,' he said.

Malkin sighed in frustration.

'Everyone thinks I'm such a prude. What if, despite appearances, I just want to have a distraction from everything—I just want to be a little bit naughty, every now and then?'

Alphard laughed at her.

'Sex a la carte?'

'Yes please,' she mumbled. 'Well, enough for me to properly decide if I like it or not.'

Alphard considered her.

'It's funny, but I don't feel strange discussing any of this with you.'

'Neither.'

'Would you like to, then?'

Malkin sat up, her eyes wide.

'I… I wasn't talking about _you_,' she said uncomfortably.

Alphard looked down.

'Oh.'

He then frowned.

'Who were you talking about, then?'

Malkin shrugged.

'No one. I don't know if he even exists,' she sighed, watching Selene casting furtive glances over at Tom.

Suddenly, Malkin realised that he did exist.

'Okay then,' she said slowly, looking to Alphard.

'What?'

'Okay,' she nodded. 'What you—'

'You want to… us?'

Malkin shook her head.

'It doesn't mean anything. I just…'

She laughed.

'Ah… forget it.'

'No, go on,' Alphard pressed.

'Well, if anyone every asked me how good you were in bed, I'd never be able to give them a very decent answer, would I?' she said simply, grinning.

* * *

It was so different to the first time. The first time, she was trying to impress him—desperately trying to _keep _him.

This time, it had nothing to do with it. It was purely for pleasure.

He sat on the bed, watching as she unbuttoned her shirt, slowly slid down her skirt.

'Leave your stockings,' Alphard breathed as she went to undo her suspender belt.

Malkin raised an eyebrow and grinned suggestively.

'You like stockings?' she said softly, climbing onto the bed.

Alphard grinned.

'Hmn,' he said, leaning forward and kissing her softly.

Malkin pushed him away, her eyes guarded.

'Just… this means nothing, right?'

'Pure and simple sex,' Alphard nodded.

She smiled and leant forward to kiss him again.

Alphard leant back.

'Do you want to try something?' he asked.

Malkin sat up on her knees.

'Try what?' she asked, looking as Alphard leant over his bed and rummaged around his trunk.

He sat up and brought out a small paper bag and shook out two small pills onto the bed.

Malkin's eyes widened.

'Vice?' she whispered. 'Where'd you get this? It's really expensive stuff.'

Alphard grinned and tapped his nose.

'I have contacts. I've never done it before, though, but it's meant to calm you down and get you high. Want to try?'

Malkin grinned and opened her mouth. Alphard placed one on her tongue and she leant forward and kissed him until it was on his tongue. He swallowed, and then put the other pill on his tongue and kissed Malkin as they both lay back on his bed.

'Will anyone come in here?' Malkin asked, blinking as she felt the drug's effects slowly taking hold of her.

'No,' Alphard murmured against her lips.

Malkin gasped as he started kissing her neck slowly, his hands sliding down her stomach and fingering the lace of her underpants.

'You have very nice taste… black lace,' Alphard murmured as he kissed his way down to her underpants. 'My favourite.'

Malkin's breathing came in short gasps and her chest rose and fell rapidly.

Slowly, Alphard pulled down the panties and went to kiss her in the same spot again, no longer clothed in black lace.

'No,' Malkin gasped.

Alphard looked up at her, frowning.

'Girls usually like it,' he said, looking confused.

Malkin shook her head.

'No, I don't want it. I just want… you. In me. Now.'

'Well, if you put it _that _way…'

Malkin desperately tugged at his boxers, pulling them down as quickly as she could as he kissed her again.

'Oh _fuck!'_ she sighed as he entered her, her back arching in towards him. '_Fuck_.'

'It's not hurting now, is it?'

Malkin kissed him urgently.

'Too restrictive. And shut up and fuck me. That's what we're doing, isn't it?' she snapped, tangling her hand in his hair and pulling him to her again, gasping as he slid deeper into her and began to move rhythmically through her.

Suddenly, he hoisted her up so they were both sitting and she gasped as the movement allowed for him to enter her even more deeply.

She buried her head in his neck as they continued to move, her nails dragging across his back as their breaths quickened with their pace.

'Fuck,' Alphard groaned, feeling that he was close to his release.

'Oh Merlin, not yet,' Malkin sighed, her nails digging even deeper into his back as she felt her muscles starting to clench. 'Not yet, not yet… oh _fuck!'_

Suddenly, they both shuddered and held each other so tightly that her nails drew blood from his back. He buried his face in her chest, their breathing harsh and erratic as they waited for the ripples of pleasure which were coursing through their bodies to subside.

They both lay back on the bed, spent and exhausted.

'Fuck me,' Alphard breathed.

'I believe I just did,' Malkin said drily with a small smile, closing her eyes as she allowed the Vice to take over her senses.

* * *

'You look very happy for someone who has been very stroppy for the past few months,' Selene commented as Malkin glided into their dorm room and sunk onto her bed, giggling ecstatically.

'I love… life,' she sighed, giggling again.

'Oh no, not you too. Did you take Amortensia?' Selene frowned.

'Who needs Amortensia when there's real loving to be had?' Malkin said dreamily. 'I love drugs.'

Selene's eyes widened and she sprung over to Malkin's bed and slapped her cheeks.

'What did you take? Oh Lord, we're going to have to take you to the Hospital Wing…'

Malkin laughed.

'Ah, Selene, take a chill pill. Ask Alphie if he can get you some Vice. The most awesome shit I've ever had.'

Selene's face darkened.

'_He _gave you drugs? Why, the little…'

She looked up as Muriel walked in the room and sprung up.

'Muriel, watch over Malkin. She's been drugged,' she called over her shoulder as she ran out of the dorm.

'You!' she shouted as she spotted one of Alphard's friends- Sean.

'Me?' Sean repeated, confused.

'Where's that imbecile of a friend of yours?' she demanded.

Sean raised an eyebrow.

'Which one. I have a few.'

'Black,' Selene glowered.

Sean bit his lip.

'I'm sure he'll see you again. He's probably just sick or something…'

'Not me! He drugged my friend!' Selene snapped.

'Eh?'

'He gave her Vice! Now she's lying on her bed, as loopy as a fruit loop!'

Sean laughed.

'Just let her sleep it off, she'll be fine.'

'Vice! The worst one on the market! What was he thinking?' Selene shouted.

Sean held up his hands.

'Don't look at me,' he said defensively. 'I haven't been supplying him with it.'

Selene glared at Sean.

'Well, you tell him that he's in _big_ trouble when I next see him,' Selene said haughtily.

'I will, but I have a feeling he'll be too drugged up to care,' Sean shrugged.

Selene shook her head exasperatedly and stalked off back to check on Malkin.

* * *

**Did we think Alphie and Malkin were over yet? They're not… and now that our troubled Malkin has been introduced to Vice, what will happen to her?**

'_Five seconds, Selene. You have a choice. It's either this, or the real thing. I warn you, it won't be fun…'_

**Now, please leave some love with a review. The last review count made me feel rather unloved… (But thanks to those who have been reviewing. You are all lovely!)**

**Love,**

**Anya**


	12. Chapter 12: Inform Against Me

"_**When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving oneself, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance."**_** – Oscar Wilde**

**

* * *

**

**Inform Against Me**

Tom looked around the group who were aggregated in the centre of the quidditch pitch. Slytherin students from all year levels had come to the meeting and he felt the thrill of excitement that, finally, he was on his way to greatness.

He raised a hand and they all fell silent.

'You have all come here today, because you too are horrified by what is becoming of our wizarding world. Mudbloods are slowly, yet surely, infiltrating their filthy way into our pure families—defiling our names which have been kept noble and pure for so many centuries.'

'Hear, hear!'

Tom nodded.

'I propose that we put an end to this. It will take a while—many of our kind are traitors to our blood and have been taken in by the foolish idea that mudbloods could ever be our equals…'

'Fucking filth,' Nott spat.

Tom pursed his lips.

'I will be your leader. You will call me Lord Voldemort. If you are passionate for this cause- for the cleansing of our superior world—you may follow me to create a golden future for all wizarding-kind. You will be called 'Death Eaters.'

He paused and they all held their breath.

'If you are not, however,' he said, his voice darkening. 'Then leave. If you are not prepared to live and die for our cause, we have no use for you. Go—back to those muggle-loving fools—and don't ever try to rejoin us. We are not forgiving. In the future, should you still be fighting for the cause of mudbloods, we _will _kill you. It is the only way we can ensure the protection of our superior race.'

He looked around and smiled coldly as he saw how they were all staring at him, their mouths slack and eyes mesmerised.

'Raise your hand if you are with me,' he ordered.

Every single person raising their hand.

'My Lord,' they all murmured, bowing their heads.

Tom smiled, his eyes widening with excitement.

* * *

'I think you boys should throw a party. A _big _one.'

Alphard turned on his side and traced circles around her nipples. He smiled as he watched them becoming erect.

'Up here,' she said, lifting his chin to look up at her face.

'You know, you are quite beautiful,' he said. 'I don't see why you can't just find yourself a decent boyfriend.'

Malkin rolled her eyes and lay back down.

'Why don't you ask the men of this world? It's their fault I don't get asked out, not mine.'

'Nah, they're just intimidated by you—everything about you seems so perfect. You should shag more of them and then they'll realise just how dirty you can get under that ultra clean image you portray.'

Malkin sighed.

'Yeah, and then they'd call me a whore.'

'_I _don't call you a whore.'

Malkin smirked.

'Because you know me well enough to know what would happen to your better half if you did.'

Alphard instinctively moved back from her and covered his groin.

'So anyway,' Malkin continued. 'I think you should throw a party. Tomorrow- for Halloween.'

'A party eh? And why should _I _throw this party?'

'You and your friends should- because everyone would come if you boys were throwing it.'

'Is that so?'

Malkin nodded and Alphard smirked.

'I think I'll need a bit more convincing,' he whispered in her ear suggestively.

Malkin rolled her eyes and sat on her knees, pushing Alphard back down on the bed as she kissed her way further and further down his chest, stomach…

Alphard sighed and his eyes fluttered closed.

'You have yourself a party, milady,' he said, taking a sharp intake of breath as she began to suck.

* * *

'It's not allowed,' Muriel said flatly. 'Unauthorised parties are in violation of rule 651…'

'Oh relax, Muriel,' Augusta snapped. 'I wouldn't mind a party. I've been studying so much lately that I think my head will explode soon if I don't get a chance to relax. What time does it start?'

All three girls stared at Augusta, shocked by her attitude.

'What?' she said heatedly. 'Just because I have a sensible head on my shoulders, it does _not_ mean that I'm incapable of having fun. I'd like a party tonight.'

Malkin grinned.

'See! That's what I mean!'

'I don't know,' Selene said slowly, looking uncomfortable.

'Are you kidding me?' Malkin said incredulously. '_You_, of all people, need to be convinced on this?'

Selene's mouth became a thin line.

'It's alright for you, Malkin,' she snapped. 'You can go do drugs, you can go have illegal parties and do whatever you like— you have your parents to help you out if you get into trouble. If _I _get caught, I'll be sent on the first train back to the orphanage and the only contact I'll have with the wizarding world will be Tom's annual visits back to the damned place! It's not as easy for me, and I wish- for once- you'd stop being so _bloody_ self-centred and think about someone else for a change!'

Malkin blinked, shocked.

'Selene…' Muriel said gently.

But Selene shook her head and stormed out of the dormitory. She ran as soon as she had exited the portrait hole and continued to run until she was outside of the castle.

She leaned against the stone exterior of the castle as she caught her breath.

'Stupid periods,' she muttered. 'Get me so worked up over nothing.'

Sighing, she continued to walk across the grounds. Eventually, she came to the Quidditch Pitch and saw a group of students walking in her direction from it.

Vaguely, she could make out Tom amongst the students, and she swallowed nervously. It was one thing to see Tom when he was alone, but when he was amongst his fellow Slytherin students, it was a completely different story. It was then when Selene was frightened of him and what he was capable of doing.

She quickly spun around and tried to walk as quickly as she could back to the castle.

'Hey, mudblood!'

Her heart started pounding in her chest and she picked up her pace.

Suddenly, she felt something hit her and became paralysed. She fell to the ground and she heard them running towards her.

'Take her out of it,' one of them snarled. 'It's always more fun to watch them struggling.'

Lestrange and Avery bent over her and gripped her arms tightly, as Rabastan lifted the Body-Binding Curse from her.

She opened her mouth to scream—

'_Silencio.'_

Her eyes wide, she looked to see that it was Tom who had silenced her. But he wasn't looking at her. In fact, he avoided her eyes at all costs, no matter how desperately she tried to look at him—to plead with him to stop what was happening to her.

'Would you like to be the first, my Lord?' Lestrange said raspily, lust gleaming in his eyes.

'First to _what_, Lestrange?' Tom said coldly.

Lestrange looked slightly taken aback.

'Why… first to defile the little slut, of course!' he said. 'My Lord,' he quickly added.

Tom looked Selene up and down, and then—finally—looked into her eyes.

Selene gasped silently as she heard his voice in her head.

'_They wish me to defile my own skin with someone as dirty as a mudblood as yourself,' _his voice said, mocking.

'_Please Tom,'_ she thought. _'Please don't. You owe me…'_

'_I owe you nothing, you worthless whore!'_

Tears slid down her cheeks.

'_Tom, please. Don't do this. You're better than this, I know you are…'_

Tom quickly looked away and cleared his throat.

'You think,' he said aloud, 'That I would wish to _touch_ this filth?'

'Only to teach her a lesson,' Nott said quickly.

Tom's eyes narrowed.

'Lesson or not, I would not touch a mudblood whore for anything. There are _other_ ways to teach lessons to _mudbloods_ which do not involve dirtying our own pure skin.'

Selene's eyes widened.

'_You have two choices,' _his voice said quickly inside her head. '_I can get them to leave me and you will pretend that you have been tortured and go to the Hospital Wing, or I can put a protective charm on you and you will pretend, in front of them, that I am torturing you.'_

She glared at him.

'_Then I would be condoning your behaviour!'_ she thought angrily. _'And they'll just go on to do it to other defenceless people. This is sick!'_

'_Five seconds, Selene. You have a choice. It's either this, or the real thing. I warn you, it won't be fun…'_

'_No! Why can't you just tell them to stop? I would do the same for…'_

'_Four…'_

'_TOM!'_

'_Three…'_

'_I swear to God, I'll—'_

'_Two…'_

'_Don't you do this to me, Tom Marvolo Riddle. If you do this, you'll—'_

'_One- quick, make your decision—'_

'_So this is you, then? This is just how low you can sink?'_

'_Oops, time's up. Don't say I never gave you a choice.'_

Selene's eyes widened as Tom raised his wand.

'_Crucio.'_

* * *

'Hiya girls, welcome to the Halloween party!' Keith said, letting Augusta, Muriel and Malkin in to the room.

'Shouldn't we find Selene?' Muriel whispered urgently.

'No,' Malkin said sourly. 'It's her problem she's decided to become a bitch, not ours. Why should we spoil our fun?'

Malkin grinned as she saw Alphard and walked straight up to him.

'Nice party,' she whispered in his ear. 'Remind me to thank you for it, later.'

'How about now?' he whispered back. 'There's quite a cosy broom cupboard close by…'

Malkin shook her head at him and, winking, walked back off to the girls.

'So… you and Malkin, then?' Sean said, coming up to Alphard and handing him a firewhisky cocktail.

Alphard downed it in one.

'Yep,' he said, grimacing at how the alcohol burned his throat.

Sean shook his head, grinning.

'Does she know about Cathy?'

Alphard shook his head.

'Or Maria?'

Alphard sighed.

'Look, she and I—it's a mutual agreement that it's just a bit of fun, no strings attached.'

Sean chuckled.

'How you got the ice queen of Hogwarts to strike up a casual shagging deal, Alphie, I'll never know. Ah well, good on you. Fancy another drink?'

* * *

Selene's limbs felt impossibly heavy. She could taste a mixture of blood and dirt in her mouth, from where she lay face-down on the ground, but had no energy left in her to get herself up.

Their footsteps had long disappeared and her eyes stung at his betrayal. She couldn't believe that he had actually done it to her. After everything, he still hated her _that_ much that he would torture her.

But it wasn't even a matter of hate—it was the fact that, despite the fact that he had known her longer and better than anyone else in the world, he still found it in him to choose scum like the likes of Lestrange over her.

What hurt even more was that she couldn't understand why. Even that day in the holidays, he had come back for her and, when she had returned, had been so careful in fixing what he had done to her.

Now, however, he had just left her. He couldn't have hurt her more if he had stuck a knife in her heart and kept twisting it.

* * *

'Hey Alphie,' Maria slurred, holding onto his shirt to keep her balance.

Alphard grinned.

'Hey Maria. I must say, you're looking very pretty tonight.'

Maria smiled, her eyes unfocused from alcohol, and leant forward.

'I want you to fuck me, Alphie,' she whispered throatily. 'I'm ready. Tonight's the night.'

Maria was something of a girlfriend to Alphard. They had gone on a few dates to Hogsmeade, and Alphard had the impression that she was part of a 'Purity Club'.

He shook his head as he thought how well alcohol seemed to work in loosening her inhibitions.

'Are you sure, Maria?' he said, twirling her curly brown hair.

She nodded unsteadily, and he caught her from tripping.

Alphard looked across the room and saw Malkin watching him, before leading Maria off to the broom cupboard.

Malkin had refused her chance—and they had that understanding, anyway.

Friends with benefits, sex _a la carte_. Nothing else.

--

Malkin's breath caught as she saw Alphard walking off with Maria who was one drink away from throwing up all over her pretty pink dress. She couldn't believe that he would do that to her—on the party that _she _had asked him to throw for her!

She had been thinking for a long time that she actually liked Alphard and was considering, after shagging him that night, on asking him if they wanted to give a relationship another go.

Feeling her blood running cold, she left the party and followed them. Perhaps Alphard was just taking Maria back to their common room. After all, she _did _look very drunk.

'Oh yes! Oh yes! Oh…_Alphie!'_

Her nostrils flared as she stared at the door which was shaking. Tears streaked down her cheeks as she lifted her wand and sent the flames for the old, wooden door.

Her eyes widened as the door quickly erupted in flames. Sobbing, she ran off down the corridor.

* * *

He let out a jaded sigh as he knelt by her. A few hours had passed, and she had not moved from where they had left her. Tentatively, he turned her over on her back and grimaced as he saw her face which covered in mixture of dirt and her blood.

Mudblood.

Her hand twitched a little as he raised her head and rested it on his knees.

'Selene?' he whispered.

She sighed faintly, but did not rouse.

'Selene, wake up,' he ordered her.

But she didn't, and he felt himself becoming very angry at her.

'You're so pathetic,' he spat. 'I gave you a choice. If it was anyone else, I wouldn't have, but I gave _you_, you stupid mudblood, a choice to get out of suffering all of this. But you didn't take it. Why?'

He shook her shoulders, but she merely lay on his knees, just as unconscious as before.

'You and your stupid Gryffindor courage! Well I'll tell you something, _Selene_- it's not courage. It's foolishness what you did—pure foolishness, and you have no one to blame for this but yourself.'

Her eyelids fluttered and she let out a soft groan.

'T..T…om?'

He let her head drop to the ground and screwed his nose up in disgust as he looked at her.

'You'll have no more second chances from me and, if you _ever_ bother me again, I won't hesitate to kill you.'

He spat on the ground in disgust.

'You really are nothing but a pathetic mudblood. I don't know why I ever thought I needed you in my life. You mean _nothing_ to me. Nothing.'

He shook his head at her and headed back to the castle.

* * *

Selene's eyes fluttered open and she saw the familiar white ceiling of the Hospital Wing. She turned to her side and saw Dumbledore, watching her gravely.

'P…professor?' she said hoarsely.

'Miss Asteria,' he smiled kindly. 'How are you feeling?'

'Sick,' she said, closing her eyes tightly. 'My head hurts.'

'Allow me,' Dumbledore said, standing up and opening a blue vial. 'If you drink this, it should lessen your migraine.'

Selene opened her mouth and Dumbledore held the vial for her. She swallowed it and shuddered- it was sickly sweet.

But, suddenly, her migraine had become minimal. Slowly, she sat up and sighed as she realised that she felt much better.

'Better?'

'Much, thanks,' Selene said genuinely.

Dumbledore nodded and he suddenly became very serious.

'Selene, I would like to know who was responsible for what happened to you.'

Selene's eyes widened and she bit her lip.

'Selene,' Dumbledore repeated, 'It is imperative that you tell me.'

Selene looked away and picked the lint off her sheets.

'It was no one,' she mumbled. 'It was… I tripped.'

'Selene, this is no joking matter. Someone administered the Cruciatus Curse on you, and left you. It is vital that you tell me who it was. Otherwise, we shall have to go through all the students of Hogwarts and go through their wands until we find who has practised using the Unforgivable Curse.'

Selene narrowed her eyes.

'I…it was…'

'Yes?'

She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She couldn't do it to him. As much as she hated him for it, she still couldn't.

'Avery, Lestrange and Nott,' she said quickly. 'They did it.'

She looked up and saw Dumbledore watching her carefully. She tried to avoid his piercing blue eyes.

'And no one else?'

She looked away quickly as Tom's face slowly swam to her mind's eye.

'No,' she said firmly. 'No one else.'

'Are you sure, Selene?'

She nodded vehemently, and then looked up at Dumbledore desperately.

'If you… if you let them know that they I told on them, though,' she said. 'Their other friends might try and…'

'I can assure you that this won't happen.'

Selene shook her head, tears springing to her eyes.

'But it will! Of course it will, and I don't care how much you try to assure me that it won't because you won't walk around me as my personal bodyguard to be there if something ever happened to me.'

Selene wiped her cheeks quickly.

'Selene,' Dumbledore said gently. 'Please trust in me to deal with them in a way which will ensure your safety.'

Selene looked away and nodded numbly.

Dumbledore stood up and hesitated as he reached the door.

'Are you… are you _certain _that no one else was there?'

Selene fixed her gaze at the wall in front of her and nodded.

'Yes,' she said through gritted teeth. 'There was no one else.'

* * *

Tom clenched his fists before entering knocking on the door.

'Enter.'

Tom put on a polite smile and entered Professor Dumbledore's office.

'Good evening, Professor. I understand you wished to see me?'

Dumbledore nodded curtly and gestured for Tom to take a seat in front of his desk.

'Yes, Tom. A student was tortured last night and I have been asking all Prefects if they have any knowledge which might help us with finding out who may have been involved with the attack.'

Tom quickly blanked out his mind as Dumbledore fixed his blue eyes on his with his penetrating gaze.

'No,' Tom said, careful to keep the surprise in his tone. 'Which student was tortured?'

'Miss Asteria,' Dumbledore said, his eyes still fixed on Tom's. 'I believe you are quite well acquainted with her.'

Tom shrugged, looking down at his hands.

'Surely you are _concerned_ for her safety, then?'

Tom clenched his fists.

'I… Is Selene okay?' he asked tensely.

'She is expected to make a full recovery,' Dumbledore said curtly. 'But was left in a terrible condition.'

'Has she not named the perpetrator, then?'

Dumbledore shook his head.

'No. She has no memory of the incident.'

Tom blinked, surprised.

'I never knew that was a side effect of the Cruciatus Curse, sir,' he said, sounding genuinely curious.

Dumbledore's eyes darkened.

'Do you know much about the Cruciatus Curse, Tom?'

Tom pursed his lips.

'No, of course not. Other than the fact that it's an Unforgivable, of course.'

'Which is why it is imperative that we find the perpetrators,' Dumbledore replied.

Tom nodded, feeling his palms becoming sweaty.

'Of course. I shall be sure to let you or another Professor know should I hear of anything.'

Dumbledore held Tom's eyes for a few moments longer and Tom struggled to keep his mind blank.

Eventually, Dumbledore looked down at his papers and Tom exhaled, feeling relief flooding him.

'That is all, Tom,' Dumbledore said.

'Evening sir,' Tom said politely, leaving as quickly as he could.

He ran to the bathroom and quickly splashed water on his face, feeling drained. His occlumency had never been tested so much, and it had taken all his strength not to crack under Dumbledore's penetrating gaze.

* * *

**From next chapter…**

'Perhaps _you_ fancy Selene, Alphie. I've never seen you defending a girl's honour as much as this.'

**So show me your love with a review. You've all been doing much better lately! Let's keep it up!**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	13. Chapter 13: Out, Damned Spot!

'_**I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.'**_** - Anon**

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* * *

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**Out, Damned Spot!**

'We need to go to the library,' Tom told Selene coldly.

Selene shook her head, avoiding his eyes.

'I don't. I brought all the books I need here,' she said shortly.

'Well as a group, we're meant to go together to the library to research,' he seethed.

'You can stay here and use the books I've brought,' she said simply, turning the page.

Tom snatched the book from under her and Selene tensed, looking straight ahead of her.

'What is your problem?' he hissed.

'I'm not going anywhere with you,' she whispered coldly. 'I'm staying right here, and there's nothing you can do about it.'

'Oh, I think you'll find there is…'

She turned suddenly and looked him fiercely in the eye.

'You do, and you'll be expelled from this school faster than you can say 'Crucio',' she said acidly.

Tom blinked in surprise and his mouth became a thin line.

'You remember,' he hissed.

Dumbledore had lied.

She snatched her text book from him and continued to read, ignoring him.

'Lestrange, Avery and Nott have been expelled,' he hissed. 'I wonder how that came about.'

She clenched her fists.

'They deserved it,' she said coldly.

Tom looked up. The classroom was otherwise empty and Slughorn was blinking sleepily at his desk. He suddenly pulled Selene's hair, forcing her to look at him. Her eyes widened in fright.

'You're going to pay for that,' he said menacingly.

Selene bit her lip, anger etched in her features, and suddenly Tom was sent flying into the stone wall of the dungeon with a sickening crack. He slumped to the floor, unconscious.

Slowly, Selene stood up and walked over to where he was lying.

'I'm not going to suffer for you anymore,' she said harshly. 'I wonder what your little Slytherin followers would say if they saw you now?'

She spat at the ground, as he had done and left the Dungeons.

Slughorn suddenly awoke with a start and sat up, alarmed, as he saw his star student lying, slumped on the floor—

'Tom? Tom, m'boy! What's happened to you?'

* * *

Malkin ignored Alphard as he tried to catch her attention in the library. Eventually, he gave up and put his hand on her knee. She hexed it off him and he yelped in pain.

'What was that for?' he pouted.

Malkin glowered at him.

'If you think your wandering dick is coming anywhere near me ever again, you have another thing coming.'

Alphard blinked in surprise.

'Eh?'

Malkin stood up.

'I said,' she said clearly, 'that there is as much chance of you fucking me again, as there is of Tom Riddle admitting to the school that he loved teddy bears.'

'Eh?'

Malkin snorted.

'You really _are_ that dumb, aren't you?' she seethed. 'Is that all you can say?—Eh?'

Alphard stood up.

'Hang on,' he said hastily. 'This doesn't have to do with Maria, does it?'

Malkin looked away and Alphard scoffed.

'Well that's just fucking _dandy_, isn't it? What happened to 'no strings attached'? You're jealous of Maria, aren't you?' he demanded.

Malkin's shoulders slumped and her face became pale again.

'N…no,' she lied quietly.

Alphard watched her closely.

'Liar,' he said quietly, crossing his arms.

She swallowed thickly.

'You had every right to go with her,' she said, still not looking at him. 'I… I just don't think I can do this anymore.'

Alphard lifted her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes.

'We had something really good going on,' he whispered. 'Why would you want to end it?'

Malkin's breathing became unsteady and she looked away quickly.

'Because… because… I….'

Alphard glanced around quickly to check that no one was near them and leant forward and kissed her neck lingeringly. Her breath caught.

'You're so bad for me,' she sighed, pained.

Alphard grinned.

'Aye, but it's fun being bad, isn't it?'

--

'Are you on a diet?' he frowned as he watched her as she dressed hurriedly.

She turned suddenly, her eyes wide.

'Why? Do you think I'm too fat?' she breathed, looking frantic.

Alphard blinked.

'No. Not at all. Quite the opposite, really…'

'So I'm too skinny?'

'Well, it wouldn't hurt if you had a bit more meat on you…'

Malkin stared at him.

'But you look lovely as you are,' he added hastily, not wanting to deal with a flare up again.

Malkin pulled her robes over her and chewed her lip.

'We aren't ever going to do this again. I…It's not good for me- aside from the exercise, that is.'

Alphard raised his eyebrows and, with that, Malkin left quickly.

* * *

'I don't understand,' Alphard said slowly, squinting at the ceiling.

Sean hiccoughed and took another drag from the joint before passing it to Alphard.

'Women. What are they good for anyway?'

'Exactly!' Alphard nodded.

'Have you ever thought of switching sides?'

Alphard burst out into laughter.

'What? Becoming a poof? I don't think so.'

Sean closed his eyes.

'Have _you_?' Alphard said, sitting up and looking at Sean incredulously.

Sean glanced at Alphard before looking away quickly.

'Nah. No way,' he sighed.

Alphard nodded and lay back down on the floor of their dorm.

'I mean,' Alphard continued, taking another drag from the joint. 'It was meant to be pure shagging—nothing else. I don't understand why she got into such a strop over Maria!'

'These girls—they can't separate sex from love. They just don't get it.'

'I say,' Alphard said, shaking his head. 'She does my head in that girl.'

'Are you _finally_ going to give up on her then?'

Alphard frowned.

'Oh look… there's a fly.'

They both burst out, laughing, as they watched a fly buzzing around the ceiling.

Alphard sighed.

'She was the best shag—even better then Camille. And so _fit!_ She's easily the best looking girl in the school- even though I think she's become a bit too thin lately.'

Sean was thoughtful.

'I disagree,' he said. 'She dresses immaculately and gives off the impression that she's all that, but I wouldn't say she's the _best_.'

Alphard snorted.

'Well you tell me who you think is _better_, then?'

Sean was silent. It was hard for him to say whom he thought was better in a way that _attracted_ him, because he had never felt attracted to a girl.

'Selene.'

Alphard spluttered.

'Selene?' he said in disbelief. 'No way.'

'You're just saying that because she's always with Malkin—and you've only ever really had eyes for Malkin.'

'Nah, you're wrong. Selene's great- don't get me wrong- but she's got nothing on Malkin.'

Sean shook his head.

'If you put Selene in Malkin's clothes, there'd be no comparison. Didn't you see her at the Yule Ball last year?'

'I didn't go, remember?' Alphard said.

'Oh yeah. Well, if you _had_, you'd see my point of view.'

They looked up as Keith and Ryan bustled into the room.

'Spliff? Excellent!' Ryan said, plonking himself on the ground next to them and taking the joint from Alphard.

'Guys, who do you think is better?' Alphard said, raising an eyebrow at Sean. 'Selene or Malkin?'

Ryan passed the joint to Keith who looked hesitant before taking it.

'Gryffindor girls, our year?' Ryan said, blowing out smoke rings.

'Yep.'

'Selene,' both boys said, automatically.

'Ha!' Sean said, laughing at Alphard's incredulous expression.

'You're joking, right? Malkin's _way_ better!' Alphard exclaimed.

Sean took another drag.

'No way. Malkin tries too hard.'

Keith nodded in agreement.

'Plus, she's a bitch,' Ryan added. 'Selene, on the other hand—man, that smile.'

'I like her hair,' Keith admitted quietly.

Ryan and Sean laughed at Keith, who blushed.

'Why? It's nice! I like long hair,' he protested.

Ryan patted Keith on the shoulder and shook his head at him.

'It's good for shagging, definitely.'

'You can't think of shagging Selene Asteria!' Alphard said hotly.

All three boys looked to him, surprised.

'Why not?' said Ryan incredulously. 'I wank off to the thought of her all the time.'

Alphard scowled.

'Because,' he said hotly. 'Because she's too _good_ for that. She's not someone you can ever look at as some sex object. She's too innocent.'

Ryan rolled his eyes.

'Doesn't mean she wouldn't be a hot shag after one's broken her in. Boy, I'd love to have her— except you're right. I don't think she'd ever consider me.'

Alphard glowered.

'No, she wouldn't.'

Sean laughed at Alphard.

'Perhaps _you_ fancy Selene, Alphie. I've never seen you defending a girl's honour as much as this.'

Alphard crossed his arms and lit up a fresh joint.

'I just said her best friend was fitter than her,' he pointed out drily.

'Could be denial,' Ryan nodded wisely.

Alphard lay back on the ground and took a few drags, trying to calm the angry tension he felt.

'I just respect her too much to think of her in that way, and I don't think you have any right to speak of her in such a degrading way.'

Ryan rolled his eyes.

'Alphie, if I didn't know any better, I'd call you a fucking poof,' Ryan sighed, lying back and closing his eyes.

Sean watched Ryan and nervously bit his lip.

--

'Fucking men!' Malkin seethed as she entered the dorm.

She stopped short when she saw Selene, sitting on her bed, looking as pale as a ghost.

'I… I'm sorry,' Selene said quietly. 'I shouldn't have spoken to you in that way. I over-reacted.'

Malkin blinked, trying to remember why Selene thought she would be mad at her.

'Oh… it doesn't matter,' she said absently, rummaging through her handbag desperately.

'I'm so sorry, Malkin. You're my only friend. Please promise we'll always be friends.'

Malkin suddenly felt her gut wrenching in guilt as she knew that she herself had been a terrible friend to Selene and, suddenly, forgot about her desperate need for more Vice.

'Of course,' she smiled. 'It's… I think we've all just been going through a rough time lately.'

Selene nodded.

'Are you okay?' Malkin said, suddenly. 'You seem very worried about something and you've got a bruise on your cheek.'

Selene forced a smile.

'No, I've just got my period—and I fell. Stupid hormones, eh?'

Malkin smiled and hugged Selene again.

'Yeah, what are they good for? I swear, all my problems came when I developed hormones!'

They both laughed and Selene looked down.

'I… I want to practise Defence Against the Dark Arts. Want to go to a classroom and practise together?'

Malkin nodded, forcing a smile.

'Sure. You go down to the common room. I'll meet you in a sec.'

Selene beamed and, as soon as the door was shut, Malkin emptied out the contents of her bag.

'Aha!' she said, snatching the pill box and nimbly unscrewing the lid. She tipped out two pills onto her palm and quickly swallowed them.

She waited a moment, and sighed gratefully as she felt the effects kicking in.

--

'May I join you for lunch?'

Selene looked up, in shock, to see none other than Alphard Black at the table.

'Um…' she hesitated, confused as to why he would sit with her. They had hardly spoken since Arithmancy the year before.

'Cool,' he said, not waiting for her answer and sitting with her at the Gryffindor table.

'Alphard Black, you House-Traitor!' Ryan called from the Ravenclaw table.

Alphard stuck his tongue out at them and started helping himself to shepherd's pie, ignoring Selene who was watching him incredulously.

'So,' he said as he tucked into his lunch, 'Your other half not here?'

Selene looked confused.

'Pardon?'

'Malkin—I never see you without her.'

Selene smiled as she now registered why Alphard was sitting with her—he must have wanted Malkin.

'No, she's on some diet that doesn't allow for lunch.'

Alphard snorted and shook his head.

'I swear, that girl's a nut case—but I'll admit that she conceals it well. Most people wouldn't pick her for the crazy type.'

Selene frowned.

'She's not crazy, she's just a bit obsessive about fashion.'

'That's not all she's obsessive about,' Alphard muttered under his breath.

Selene glared at him.

'She's my friend. I'll ask you not to talk that way about her to me,' she said severely, making to get up.

'Aw come on, sit down,' Alphard said. 'I'll stop talking about her, okay?'

Selene pursed her lips and sat back down.

'Well I think she's running around the quidditch pitch if you're looking for her, so that's where you should look. I'll warn you not to interrupt her exercise session because she'll probably kill you.'

Alphard laughed.

'Why would I want to see Malkin any more than I have to?'

Selene bit her lip, confused.

'Then what are you doing here?'

'Haven't spoken to you for a while. You quit Arithmancy,' he shrugged.

Selene blushed.

'Well, I got a Troll in the subject, so I didn't see much point in my continuing it.'

''Troll'?' Alphard laughed. 'Surely you weren't _that _bad at it!'

'Oh I was,' Selene laughed. 'I think the day Professor Tangent realised that I could no longer be in his class was a very good day for him. I believe he threw a huge party and went raging around Hogsmeade that night.'

Alphard laughed and turned to look at Selene. As he did, he realised that he had never looked at her properly to notice how her eyes lit up when she was talking, or how perfect and fresh her complexion was, or how red and plump her lips were...

Now he saw what all the other boys had been saying.

'Is there something on my face?' Selene frowned, rubbing her cheeks quickly.

Alphard smiled and shook his head.

'No, no, your face is lovely.'

Selene bit her lip and blushed.

'Okay…' she said slowly.

Alphard suddenly sat up.

'Selene, will you come with me to the Yule Ball?'

Selene raised her eyebrows.

'The Yule Ball?' she frowned. 'It's only the start of November!'

Alphard grinned.

'Well, I get the feeling that you're the type who would be asked early,' he said. 'So I thought I'd get in before anyone else can claim you for the evening.'

Selene stared at him, at a loss for words.

'Well?' Alphard pressed. 'Will you do me the honour of being my date for the evening?'

Selene bit her lip and smiled.

'Yes,' she said, blushing and becoming very interested with the salad on her plate.

'Yes?'

She nodded and Alphard smiled happily.

'I'm honoured,' he said, mock-bowing to her. 'Thank you, my dear. I shall do my best not to disappoint you.'

Selene laughed nervously and stood up.

'I… I have to go…study,' she stammered.

Alphard nodded and stood up.

'Have fun.'

'Uh…sure. You too,' Selene said slowly, looking very confused as she walked off.

--

'A grossling is a… A grossling is a…'

Selene sighed and snapped the book shut, feeling frustrated. All she could do was think about Alphard and wonder why he had asked her out so soon to the ball.

Deciding that studying was futile, she borrowed her book and went back to her dorm where Malkin was weighing herself.

'Fuck!' she exclaimed, getting off the scales and looking cross.

Selene's eyes widened as she saw just how thin her friend had become.

'Malkin,' she said slowly, 'You have to stop this diet. You're too thin!'

Malkin shook her head vehemently.

'No,' she said seriously. 'I still need to lose a few kilos.'

'No!' Selene exclaimed. 'Look at you—you've become nothing but skin and bones!'

Malkin laughed easily and put on her peacock-blue silk dressing gown.

'Oh don't be ridiculous. I want to get into a modelling agency and I'm four kilos off their recommended weight.'

Selene looked bewildered.

'But no models are as skinny as you! Here—look here—she's got some meat on her!'

Malkin laughed.

'Don't be ridiculous- she's an American model. Paris is far ahead of America when it comes to fashion- and the fashion, now, is to be thin.'

Selene crossed her arms.

'Well I don't approve of this one bit. You look ready to faint. When was the last time you ate anything?'

'Breakfast. I had porridge- you saw me.'

'It was half a scoop.'

'Still something,' Malkin said haughtily. 'Now, enough about this. You had something to say to me when you came in.'

'How—'

Malkin laughed.

'You had that- 'something big has just happened to me'- look on your face. I can tell.'

Selene sighed and recounted what had happened between her and Alphard during lunch.

When she finished, she looked nervously to Malkin for her advice.

'I… I know you hate him, but he _is _quite nice,' she said quietly. 'Even if he is a tad strange.'

Malkin bit her lip and looked away.

'Yes, he can be nice when he wants to be,' she said quietly.

'Well? What do you think?' Selene pressed, tugging her hair.

Malkin forced a smile.

'I think you should go with him and have a lovely time. He's good-looking and charming, and you're beautiful. You'll complement each other very well.'

'No! Don't tell me what you're _meant _to tell me. Tell me what you _think_ of it!' Selene exclaimed.

Malkin shrugged.

'He respects you,' she said.

'How do you know,' Selene said suspiciously.

'He told me,' Malkin said simply. 'He said he doesn't know any other girls our age like you.'

Selene's eyes widened and she jumped up and sat on Malkin's bed.

'When did he say this? Why didn't you tell me?' she said breathlessly.

Malkin shrugged.

'I guess I forgot.'

Selene chewed her lip.

'Do you think he… do you think he likes me?' she whispered.

Malkin shrugged.

'I don't know. Alphard Black likes many girls. I would say yes, but I don't want you to end up disappointed.'

'Oh,' Selene said, her shoulders slumping.

'But I'm probably not a good person to ask on this,' Malkin added. 'I do hate him, after all.'

Selene looked up at Malkin.

'Why do you hate him so much? Why won't you tell me?'

Malkin shook her head.

'We just… clash. He grates on my nerves and I his,' she lied.

Selene screwed up her nose.

'I think you two are quite similar, sometimes. I don't understand…'

Malkin shook her head.

'Look, you can go have your fun with him—that's fine—just don't try recruiting me as an 'Alphard-lover' because I'll always dislike him,' she said finally.

Selene sighed and went over and changed into her pyjamas.

'Okay then, fine,' she said. 'But are you okay with it?'

Malkin laughed and gathered clothes for a shower.

'Of course I am! So long as _I'm _not forced to go anywhere with him, I don't care what you do with him.'

She smiled at Selene and went to the bathroom. Selene stared after her and then got into bed, frowning.

She was sure that Malkin was keeping something from her.

--

Malkin stepped out of the shower and wiped the mist off the mirror. She took a sharp intake of breath as she saw her appearance in the mirror and blinked away the tears stinging her eyes.

But they were coming too quickly and she slid to the ground, crying into her hands.

Suddenly, she stood up quickly and went over to her make up bag. She emptied it hurriedly onto the ground and, with shaking hands, searched for her little pill box.

She pulled the silver lid off it and quickly shook a white pill-her last one- out onto her hand, which she swallowed quickly.

'Only one,' she sighed. 'Never mind, I'll stop tomorrow,' she said to herself assertively.

She stood up and smiled as she swayed a little, feeling the effects of the Vice overcoming her immediately. At least she was no longer upset, and she laughed hysterically to herself as she looked at her reflection.

'So pretty, so thin, so pretty, so thin!' she laughed to herself, gathering her clothes and skipping back to her dorm.

* * *

**I had never met any people suffering from anorexia before I started med. There are a lot, too. And I never met anyone with pill-popping habits, until I started relying on codeine in the middle of this year (product of a few very screwed up incidents in my life). I'm fine now, but it wasn't a very good time for me.**

**So Malkin really has become everything and everyone who is screwed up in my life at the moment. Especially one particular girl who is both anorexic, and became really screwed over by having a 'f-buddy'. I find Malkin very sad to write, but she also helps me understand myself and my friends. To me, Malkin is the most 'real' character in this story at the moment. No, she's by no means good- but she has a lot of problems. Just because she's not an orphan and has money, it does not mean that she's automatically okay. In fact, that girl I mentioned is probably the richest one in my course…. And the most screwed up. **

**Enough of that. I just thought it would be interesting for you all to have a bit more background on Malkin's character.**

**Next chapter:**

'_Right,' Selene said severely. 'You are going to tell me everything. No holding back, you are going to tell me why Alphard Black gave you Vice, the true nature of your relationship with him, why you have stopped eating, and why you became addicted to that terrible drug.'_

**And now it's time for you to leave some love with a review!**

**Love Anya**


	14. Chapter 14: Neglected Love

"_**Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs."**_** ~Lily Tomlin**

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* * *

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**Grief Sprung From Neglected Love**

Selene's eyes widened as she saw the price tag.

'A hundred galleons! I can't afford this!' she hissed at Malkin.

Malkin shook her head and thrust another similar gown at Selene.

'You won't be buying anything. I just want to get an idea of what sort of shape and style will suit you.'

Selene sighed.

'Malkin, you already have enough on your plate with homework and revision. I don't want you to waste your time making a gown for me…'

Malkin pushed Selene towards the change rooms.

'Trust me- this will be good for me. I need a definite project to take my mind off things. Anyway, this is my present to you for both Christmas- and for being such a terrible friend this year.'

'Malkin,' Selene said seriously. 'You have _not _been a bad friend!'

Malkin nodded sadly.

'I have. But I want to get better- so off you go! Get changing!'

Selene's shoulders slumped.

'But what about _your_ dress?'

Malkin shook her head.

'No, I'm not going to the Ball.'

'You're not!' Selene said, surprised. 'But all the best-looking guys of Hogwarts have already asked you! Surely you could like _one _of them?'

Malkin laughed.

'No, none. Anyway, I've decided to go home for Christmas.'

Malkin never went home, because her parents always had high-society events to attend to and, more often than not, she was left with the House Elf to keep house.

'Home? Since when?' Selene frowned.

'Since yesterday. I think I need a change of scenery,' Malkin said, paling a little.

'But we always spend Christmas together!'

Malkin smiled tightly.

'I know, but I really need to go home- plus, the audition for that modelling agency is over Christmas,' she lied.

'Oh,' Selene said, looking much more understanding. 'Well I suppose that's very important.

'Yes… now, enough procrastinating! I want to see these dresses on you!'

* * *

'Shall we go to Madame Puddifoot's for afternoon tea?' Selene said as they walked out of the store.

Malkin couldn't stop her hands from shaking. She could barely concentrate as Selene was trying on the last dress- all she knew and felt was that she needed Vice, or else she would surely explode.

'I…' she gasped. 'I…I'm not feeling very well.'

Selene stopped walking and turned to look at Malkin, her hazel eyes wide with concern.

'Malkin, you're really pale. Have you been eating?'

Malkin fidgeted nervously.

'Yes, yes,' she said flippantly. 'I just…'

'What's going on?' Selene said flatly. 'Something's up with you- you always look flighty these days.

'I…'

Malkin swallowed, finding it almost hard to breath.

'I've just got a very bad headache. I've been getting migraines. I… I need to take these pills.'

'Where are they, then? Why don't you take them?' Selene said, sitting Malkin down on a nearby bench.

Malkin shook her head quickly.

'They're…they're in our dorm. I… I need to go…'

'I'll just summon them,' Selene said simply.

'No! No- too far. You can't…'

'I actually can,' Selene said quietly, blushing. 'What am I summoning?'

Malkin stood up abruptly.

'I just need a lie down. Sorry, I need to go.'

And with that, she tore down the main street of Hogsmeade.

Selene's shoulders slumped and, feeling very hurt, she sat down at the bench. She couldn't understand Malkin. It was as though she had become a completely different person. She was always leaving quickly, always preoccupied with something else…

But what even more confusing were the extremes of her attitude. Only an hour ago, Malkin had been saying how she was determined to make up for her recent behaviour, but now she was merely hurting her again.

Selene sighed and rubbed her temples.

'You alone too?' Muriel said, coming up to her.

Selene looked up and smiled tiredly.

'Yeah, Malkin ran off.'

'Hmn. She's been acting a little strangely as of late.'

Selene nodded heavily.

'I know. I don't understand it.'

Muriel shrugged and offered Selene her bag of chocolates.

'Thanks,' Selene said, taking one. 'Have you been alone all day?'

Muriel shook her head.

'No. I was with Augusta, but she and Archie met up for a date.'

Selene smiled.

'So she's finally giving him a chance, then?'

Muriel nodded.

'We'll see. All she does is pick him to pieces afterwards- how he didn't do this and that right…'

'I think she's just in denial,' Selene laughed.

'Me too. Merlin, she's so lucky! I'd _love_ to have someone show any interest in me,' Muriel said forlornly.

Selene surveyed Muriel.

'Are you going to the Yule Ball?'

Muriel snorted.

'Probably not. No one's asked me yet, and I doubt that anyone will want to take 'Mad Muriel'.'

'Don't say that!' Selene exclaimed.

Muriel shrugged sadly.

'It's true. I'm not beautiful like you and Malkin, and I don't have Augusta's attitude. Nothing about me is attractive.'

'Who said that to you?' Selene said angrily. 'You are such a good person- any boy would be mad not to want you!'

'Just what I need,' Muriel laughed sarcastically. 'Another mad boy. Imagine our children!'

Selene couldn't help smiling a little at this.

'Honestly, Muriel, I truly believe that you'll find someone. You just need to wait.'

Muriel shrugged.

'We'll see,' she sighed. 'What about you? Are you going?'

'Alphard Black asked me,' she said quietly, tracing patterns in the dirt with the toe of her shoe.

Muriel nodded slowly.

'He's very good-looking. You two are a good match.'

Selene sighed.

'Sure. But I'm also an orphan with no prospects- and a mudblood. Apparently the Blacks don't take very nicely to muggleborns.'

Muriel's eyes narrowed.

'I hate that. I hate that word, and the whole notion of there even being a difference in 'blood'. How can blood be dirty?'

Selene shrugged.

'What can I do? I can't take on half the wizarding world on the matter. At least Alphard doesn't seem to care.'

Muriel nodded.

'Yes, I think he's a good one-despite his womanising habits. Please be careful of him,' Muriel said seriously.

Selene laughed.

'Oh don't worry. I can take care of myself.'

They sat in silence for a while.

'Why can't you just come to the Ball anyway? You don't _have _to take someone.' Selene said.

'And what? Sit in between Augusta and Archie, and you and Alphard? I don't think so,' Muriel said bitterly.

Selene pursed her lips and then nodded assertively.

'Fine then. I'll tell Alphard I can't go with him, and we'll go together!' she said simply.

Muriel's eyes widened.

'Why would you do that?' she said incredulously.

'Because I want you to come!' Selene said, laughing. 'And I don't particularly care for Alphard that much anyway,' she lied, blushing. 'He seems too shallow.'

Muriel shook her head.

'Thanks, but no- go with Alphard.'

Selene smiled and shook her head.

'No. I want to go with you. Boys come and go all the time, but friends should be forever- and I don't have many. Will you go with me, Muriel?'

Muriel faltered.

'Don't do this,' she said, blushing. 'You're just making me feel bad.'

'Will you go with me?' Selene said patiently. 'If not, I'll still tell Alphard I'm not going with him- and won't go at all. Malkin's not going either, so there's really no point to my going if you don't come.'

Muriel stared at Selene and then hugged her tightly.

'I hope that you end up having a wonderful life,' she said through her tears. 'You're the best person I know.'

Selene laughed, embarrassed.

'I am not. I just… I don't have as many people to care about, so you girls are like a family to me.'

Muriel looked down at her hands.

'I don't know that I would have done the same thing for you,' she said, sounding ashamed.

Selene smiled.

'But if it was something you didn't care about- as going out with Alphard is to me- you would. Most definitely.'

Muriel stared at Selene and then hugged her again tightly.

* * *

'Fuck, fuck, fuck!' Malkin whispered desperately, sweat trailing down her forehead as she stared at her empty pillbox. 'How have I run out already?'

She thought desperately of how she could get some more. Her usual 'guy' needed a week's notice to meet her with a new stash in Hogsmeade. But she hadn't contacted him last week because she had then been determined to quit her habit.

Now she was so desperate that this seemed like the worst idea she'd ever had.

'Who else do I know?' she muttered, pacing the bathroom desperately.

Her eyes widened as she realised that there was only one other person whom she knew to have Vice.

She chewed her lip. She had promised herself to never go down his path ever again…

But her heart palpitations were so urgent that she quickly dismissed these thoughts as she hurried to the Ravenclaw Portrait.

'Wait!' she shouted as she saw a young first year going to step inside the portrait.

'Yes?' the girl said, looking timidly back at her.

'Can you…. Can you get Alphard Black to come here?' Malkin said desperately.

The girl nodded cautiously and disappeared behind the portrait. A minute later, Alphard appeared.

'Malkin?' he said, his eyes widening in surprise. 'What are you…'

'I… I have a favour to ask,' she said quietly, looking away from his grey eyes.

'Oh?'

She nodded, trying to steady her breathing.

'I was wondering if you had any Vice on you?'

'Vice?' Alphard said, surprised. 'What do you want…'

'We're just having a party with the girls and I promised that I'd get them some,' she lied breathlessly. 'You're the only one who I know who has any.'

Alphard raised his eyebrows.

'I don't take the stuff. I hope you're not telling people that I'm…'

'No, of course not,' she interrupted hastily. 'I just said that I knew someone who might have some.'

'Well I only have two pills,' he shrugged.

'That's enough,' Malkin said impatiently, wringing her hands behind her back.

'Not really,' Alphard frowned. 'You'll probably only feel a light buzz if you're splitting the pills between four girls.'

'It's fine,' Malkin said through gritted teeth. 'They're only lightweights so half a pill each will be more than enough.'

Alphard surveyed her carefully.

'I don't know, Malkin. It's expensive stuff…'

Malkin threw up her hands.

'What do you want? A blow job? Sex? Money? Whatever you want, Alphie, just give me the fucking drugs. You can have all three if you must!'

Alphard's eyes widened in shock.

'Woah, calm down! You, my dear, you need to take a chill pill…'

'Which is why I need the fucking Vice,' Malkin seethed, grabbing his shirt desperately, her eyes frenzied.

Alphard's eyes narrowed.

'Where's Selene?' he said coldly.

'In Hogsmeade, how should I know?' Malkin said dismissively. 'Look, can't we…'

'I need to speak with her first.'

'What? Look, I just need…'

'Or Augusta or Muriel will do fine.'

'What? What do you need them for?'

Alphard ignored Malkin and kept walking until he reached the Gryffindor portrait, which Muriel and Selene were approaching.

'Ah, perfect,' he said, walking up to the girls. 'Hello ladies. How are you today?'

Selene and Muriel looked at each other timidly.

'Um, Alphie, we have to speak about…' Selene said nervously.

'That we do,' Alphard said gravely.

'Yes, you can do that later,' Malkin said, tugging at Alphard's shirt desperately.

'No, now will do just fine.'

'No! Alphie, just…'

'Were you two expecting some Vice for a little party of yours?' Alphard interrupted blandly.

Selene and Muriel blinked in shock.

'Vice?' Muriel whispered. 'The drug?'

'Of course not!' Selene said crossly. 'Drugs are disgusting.'

Alphard raised an eyebrow and turned to survey Malkin who was blinking dazedly.

'You lied to me,' he accused her flatly. 'You said you needed the Vice for your party with 'the girls'.'

'You did _what!_' Selene exclaimed.

Malkin brushed her sweaty black hair out of her eyes.

'It's n…not m…my fault,' she chattered. 'H…he g…got m…me h…hooked. Just g…give m…me s….some!'

Alphard shook his head, looking disgusted.

'I've given you _one_ pill, _once_. Don't you blame me for this!'

'I n…never w…would h…have t…touched it o…otherwise!' she said, tears streaming down her cheeks.

Alphard sighed and he turned to Selene and Muriel.

'I think you two should keep a close eye on her. She's going through withdrawal symptoms. You need to take care that she doesn't get her hands on any Vice, otherwise she'll just be making the addiction worse.'

Muriel and Selene stared at him, and then Selene suddenly slapped him stingingly.

'Hey!' he protested, holding his cheek.

'This is your fault, Alphard Black,' she spat, her eyes becoming glassy with tears. 'You gave her the drugs in the first place, and now she's become addicted and anorexic and…'

'What have you done to my friend?' she screamed, hitting him again.

'Hey! Stop…'

'No!' Selene shouted as she continued to hit him. 'Before this year, she was on top of her life. She never had problems like this, but now she's….

'Selene, come on,' Muriel said, dragging Selene away from Alphard.

'You're just as much to blame for not _noticing_ that your friend has problems,' Alphard shot back acidly. 'Perhaps if you were a better friend, you would have _done _something already.'

Muriel let go of Selene and walked right up to Alphard and slapped him herself.

'She is the best friend I could ever have asked for. So good, that she was willing to dump your sorry arse for the Ball and go with me so I wouldn't be alone! You leave us alone, Alphard Black. You're a terrible influence and I don't want you corrupting Selene as well. She's too good for you and your philandering hooligan ways.'

Alphard glared at Muriel.

'_Mad_ Muriel. There's a reason why no one likes you…'

Muriel's face fell and Selene sent a hex at him, causing him to fly into the wall with a sickening crunch.

'You don't talk to any of us, ever again. Do you understand?' she hissed.

She spun around, marched over to Malkin, and pulled her and Muriel into the Common Room. Malkin groaned as she sat her down on her bed, her body shaking in convulsive rigors.

'Right, Malkin,' Selene said severely. 'You are going to tell me everything- no holding back. You are going to tell me why Alphard Black gave you Vice, the true nature of your relationship with him, why you have stopped eating, and why you became addicted to that terrible drug.'

Malkin broke down into tears and Selene shook her by the shoulders.

'No crying, Malkin,' she snapped. 'Now talk.'

Muriel sat on the bed quietly, looking withdrawn.

'We'll get to you later,' Selene added to Muriel. 'Now, Malkin- spit it out, or else I'll use Veritaserum.'

'We were having sex,' Malkin blurted out, wiping her cheeks.

Selene blinked in shock.

'You…you've had _sex_?' she said, surprised and hurt that she had not been told. 'With Alphard Black?'

Malkin nodded and wiped her cheeks again.

'Yes.'

Selene pinched the bridge of her nose, feeling winded. She could not believe that she had ever developed tender feelings for Alphard, when he had been sleeping with her best friend behind her back.

'When did it start?' she said quietly.

Malkin sniffed.

'When you were petrified,' she whispered, ashamed. 'I…I always liked him, and he came to visit you and I k…kissed him and then… then when you were better, he was always talking about you, and so I slept with him to try and make him like me better.'

Selene stared at Malkin who looked down in shame.

'I'm such a terrible friend,' she sniffed. 'It was all because of my stupid jealousy.'

'So it was just the once, then?' Selene said heavily, feeling her throat constricting.

Malkin shook her head, sniffing.

'N…No. Th…That t…time was wh…when we w…were meant to be s…seeing each other. It was s…so terrible- I ignored him for the rest of the year and refused to t…talk to him afterwards.'

'So why did you go back to him, then?' Muriel shot, her voice hard.

Malkin swallowed and took a deep, jaded breath.

'We were forced to be d…damned potions p…partners, and I was tired of h…hating him over something that wasn't his fault. I…I was tired of being lonely, so I s…suggested that we s…sleep together with no strings attached, because I h…hated the way we did it the first time, and he was being nice to me again.'

'So you went back?' Selene said incredulously.

Malkin nodded, her cheeks burning with guilt.

'And what about the Vice? How did that come about?' Muriel shot.

Malkin sighed and rubbed her temples.

'It was that first time we did it again. He gave me Vice…'

'I remember,' Selene said grimly. 'How much did he give you?'

Malkin shook her head.

'He only gave me the one pill, once. But the modelling academy had just rejected me for being too 'curvy' for their liking, and Vice suppresses your appetite… so I started taking it to lose weight, initially, and then I became addicted. I started taking even more when I knew Alphard was seeing other girls…'

'He _what!_' Muriel exploded.

Malkin shook her head morosely.

'It was meant to be a no strings attached affair. He had every right to, even though I still wished he would love me...'

'So you slept with him in an attempt to make him love you?' Selene said incredulously.

Malkin put her face in her hands and rocked back and forth.

'I'm a wreck,' she cried. 'I don't deserve you as friends. I'm so sorry, Selene, Muriel….'

'The person you should be most sorry to is yourself,' Selene said sternly. 'Because you've let this happen to you and now it'll be very hard work to get you better again.'

Malkin laughed bitterly.

'I'll never get better,' she said morosely.

Selene shook her head assertively.

'Yes. Yes you will. How can you let an _idiot_ like Alphard Black reduce you from the beautiful, confident girl you were last year- to this? Well I don't care. We're not going to allow you to continue in this manner. From now on, you will have no contact with that despicable boy, and you will be escorted wherever you go. You _will_ eat three square meals a day, and you will _not_ go to the bathroom to throw it up afterwards. Do you understand?'

Malkin stared at Selene and blinked.

Selene sighed.

'Good. Now, take some sleeping draught. You should try sleeping through this withdrawal as much as you can.'

Malkin shook her head, looking pained.

'No, I…'

Selene summoned a vial and thrust it at Malkin.

'Drink,' she ordered.

Tentatively, Malkin put it to her lips and downed the pale blue liquid.

She stared at Selene and then lay down slowly.

'Thank you,' she whispered as she closed her eyes and drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

Selene sighed and pulled the covers over Malkin.

'Aren't you furious with her?' Muriel said, watching Selene carefully.

Selene shook her head sadly.

'No. I'm furious with Alphard, but not her.'

'But she was so bad to you.'

'I know,' she sighed, 'but none of it has been against me- she's just been absorbed with her own issues. And, right now, Malkin needs our help so she can get better. Getting mad at her and isolating her will just worsen her problem, and I won't be responsible for that.'

Muriel sighed.

'I don't know why you're so good to us,' she said quietly.

Selene looked at Muriel earnestly.

'Alphard was lying. You _do _know that, don't you?'

Muriel shrugged.

'It's true, though. No boys like me.'

Selene shook her head.

'No. Don't believe that for one second. He's just an arrogant, self-centred…'

'But he didn't really do anything that _bad_,' Muriel interjected. 'Malkin threw herself at him, and he obviously took her. Not many boys would refuse that from a girl like Malkin. Yes, he gave her the first pill, but she made the decision to take it and continue taking it. You can't blame him for Malkin's flaws.'

Selene looked down.

'I just expected better of him. Why would he ask me to the ball when he was with Malkin? Was he _trying_ to break up our friendship?'

Muriel rolled her eyes.

'Boys are stupid in such matters. They don't see the implications of their actions.'

'That still doesn't excuse him for what he did to Malkin, and what he said to you,' Selene said stubbornly.

Muriel shrugged.

'You can say what you like, but the person who is truly in the wrong is over there,' Muriel said, nodding towards Malkin's sleeping form, and walking off.

'Don't you care about Malkin at all?' Selene called after her.

Muriel stopped at the door.

'To be quite honest- no. She's never cared about me, so why should I grovel to help her now? All she'll do is throw it back in my face once she's better,' Muriel said simply, before shrugging and leaving the room.

Selene stared at the door and then put her face in her hands, breathing unsteadily.

'What is wrong with this world?' she whispered. 'Why can't people just be nice?'

She remembered how Tom had tortured her, and then choked back a sob.

'Why is everyone so cruel?' she cried, sinking to the ground and hugging her knees. 'Why?'

She got up and ran to the bathroom to wash her face. When she looked up in the mirror, she picked up her hairbrush and threw it angrily, watching her reflection shattering as the shards of glass came tumbling down on her.

She screamed as they pierced the ivory skin of her arm and quickly wiped them off her, her crimson blood staining the white tiles.

'Why?' she shouted. 'I don't understand!'

'Selene?'

Selene turned, her hazel eyes wide, to see Augusta standing at the door.

'Oh Merlin, what happened to you?' Augusta said, rushing up to Selene and taking her arm.

'No!' Selene shouted, wrenching her arm away. 'Don't _touch_ me!'

'Selene!' Augusta said, shocked.

Selene pushed past Augusta, her eyes wild, and ran out of the dorm.

* * *

'Now, Selene, I have to ask what you were thinking when you attacked Mr Black?' Dumbledore said gravely.

Selene continued to stare into the distance, her arms crossed and mouth set in a hard line.

'Selene?'

'He deserved it,' she said through gritted teeth.

Dumbledore sighed, went over to his cabinet and poured out two glasses of mead. He handed one to her.

'This has alcohol,' Selene said, sounding disgusted.

'Yes, I know,' Dumbledore said patiently.

'You're a teacher. You shouldn't be condoning this!'

Dumbledore sighed patiently, flicked his wand at the drink, and turned it into a cup of steaming cocoa.

'Better?'

Selene shook her head.

'No. You still tried to give me alcohol. It's against the rules.'

'So is attacking a student, Selene,' Dumbledore said lightly.

Selene crossed her arms.

'I'm sick of everyone. No matter how good I try to be, they all throw it back in my face and what am I left with? Nothing. Everything in this world is useless. I don't want to stay at Hogwarts anymore. I just want to go back to being in the orphanage. At least _there_ the orphans and sisters were grateful for my help.'

'Now, Selene…'

'Don't you 'now Selene' me!' she shrieked. 'It's true! My best friend is jealous of me and a drug addict, another refuses to help me with Malkin, despite the fact that I was willing to give up going to the Yule Ball with a boy I actually liked just for _her- _the selfish cow-, the other is nosy and thinks she's oh so 'high and mighty' and above me. Not to mention the _bastards_ in my life. One, who keeps hurting me no matter how good and forgiving I am of him, and then the other, who tried to break up my friendship with my best friend by asking me to the stupid Ball with him!'

Dumbledore blinked.

'I…'

'So now, _Professor_, you can see why I'm fed up with this school and everyone in it. If this is how you magic folk behave, then I want nothing to do with you all.'

Dumbledore sighed.

'Selene, I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you a month's worth of detentions. Mr Black will be in hospital for a few days, most likely.'

Selene glowered.

'He deserves to stay there forever.'

Dumbledore shook his head.

'No, Selene. Attacking a student who is innocently studying is not fair,' he said seriously.

Selene crossed her arms stubbornly.

Dumbledore watched her closely.

'Is there something you would like to tell me, Selene?' he said quietly.

Selene stood up.

'Give me all the bloody detentions you like,' she shouted. 'I won't be here to sit them out!'

She stormed to the door, but it wouldn't open.

'Selene,' Dumbledore said seriously. 'I want you to stop this reckless behaviour before you do even more things that you regret. In fact, I want you to spend the night in the Hospital Wing.'

'Whatever for? I'm not hurt!'

'Selene!'

Selene fell silent and shrunk a little as she saw how frightening Dumbledore had become in his seriousness.

'I'm sorry,' she sighed, hanging her head guiltily. 'It's just been a _very_ long day.'

Dumbledore sighed.

'I understand that today has been difficult for you. Allow me to accompany you to your dormitory,' he said quietly, leading her out of his study.

* * *

**Firstly, I have to say that I don't condone drug use of any kind. Or violence, for that matter. It is not**** okay to be in an abusive relationship. Drugs and violence have both appeared in this story for fictional purposes**** only.**

**Okay, now that's out the way… **

**So Selene lost it, for the first time… and now I'm starting to like her much more as a character. I'm really excited to write the rest of this story because I've fully planned all the chapters out now. Should be around 36-40 in total. Much less than TGM, but I hope it will be good nonetheless.**

**Now I was left feeling a little disappointed with the last chapter. So little feedback…**

**Can we do anything to fix this? It's stressful at the moment, so I don't know how often I'll be able to update without your encouragement…**

**Oh, and to _encourage_**** you-**

_Selene swallowed thickly and Alphard leant forward and softly grazed her lips with his own._

**I believe it's time for a bit of mistletoe…**

**Happy Halloween!**

**Love Anya**


	15. Chapter 15: Crimson In Thy Lips

'_**Beauty is in the eye of the beholder'**_

_**

* * *

**_

**Crimson In Thy Lips**

Following a Mental Health Assessment, performed by Madam Nosscomb, Malkin was deemed unfit to remain at school. It was decided that it would be in her best interests that she be sent to a juvenile rehabilitation centre, in the French countryside.

--

It was Christmas morning, but it had never been drearier. The snow on the ground was mixed with dirt to form a brown sludge, and rain would sporadically come down in torrents. Every now and then, thunderclaps would rend the air, causing the ground to vibrate.

'I'm sorry,' Malkin said quietly as they waited at the gate to Hogsmeade for Madam Nosscomb to arrive to chaperone her to her rehabilitation centre.

Selene looked down at her hands sadly.

'You're my best friend, Malkin. Please make sure you get better.'

Malkin nodded.

'I'll try,' she said, smiling weakly. 'And please don't forget me. I know you should hate me, but I'll need to be hearing from you- because no one else will remember me. Please promise that you won't stop writing to me.'

Selene smiled through her tears.

'Of course I won't,' she said, hugging Malkin tightly.

They stood like this for what felt like ages, neither wanting to break the hug.

'Are you ready, Malkin? The portkey at Hogsmeade station is due to arrive in ten minutes, so we must leave at once.'

Malkin sniffed and pulled away.

'I…I have something for you,' she said, reaching down to her bag and handing Selene a large and long box. 'I know it won't ever be good enough to make up for what I've done, but I want you to have this. I worked on it all night so I could finish it for you in time.'

Selene's eyes widened and she went to open the box, but Malkin shook her head and smiled tightly.

'No, don't open it now. Open it later.'

Selene nodded numbly.

Madam Nosscomb clicked her tongue impatiently and Malkin sniffed.

'Well, I had better go,' she said, wiping her eyes hastily and hugging Selene one last time. 'Take care of yourself, okay?'

Selene nodded.

'You too. Make sure you get better.'

Malkin smiled and kissed Selene on the cheek.

'Thank you for being so good. You really do deserve so much with how good you are.'

Selene rolled her eyes and, with a final hug, Malkin turned to Madam Nosscomb and they left for Hogsmeade.

* * *

She couldn't help sobbing as she pulled the dress over her and charmed the strings on the bodice to tighten.. It was the most beautiful garment she had ever seen- far more beautiful than those thousand-galleon ones she had tried on in those expensive boutiques.

It was of long, silver silk, encrusted with opals and rhinestones along the bodice and intricate stitching along the lining.

'Are you coming to the Ball?' Augusta said, sounding surprised as she came out from the bathroom in navy blue dress robes, her hair styled elaborately. 'I must say, that is the most beautiful dress I've ever seen. Where did you get it?'

Selene looked back to her reflection.

'Malkin made it,' she said numbly.

Augusta sighed.

'It's such a shame about that girl. She has so much talent… I really do hope that she gets better.'

Selene said nothing and Augusta smiled at her warmly.

'I think you should come to the ball. It would be a shame not to show off this dress. Here, let me fix your hair. I think it would look lovely if we just tamed these waves a little…'

* * *

'And you never thought that she was anything special!' Keith said, shaking his head at Alphard. 'That lass is definitely a stunner.'

'Eh?'

Keith nodded to the entrance of the Great Hall and Alphard stared in shock as he saw Selene entering the room.

'Is that…' he breathed.

'Yep. Selene Asteria. I say, she doesn't have a partner! Maybe I can…'

'No,' Alphard said firmly, his eyes flashing. 'No…'

In a trance-like state, he rose from the table and hurried towards where she was standing. He could not understand how he had been so blind, all this time. She was so beautiful that he found it almost hard to believe that she was of this earth- more like a goddess, with her long dark hair flowing in glossy ripples down her back, her ivory skin, soft red lips, and her beautiful gown which emanated a silvery glow around her.

She stopped short when he approached her and the colour drained from her face.

'What do you want?' she whispered, her hazel eyes wide with shock.

'You,' he breathed, wanting nothing more than to pull her to him and kiss her plump, red lips.  
Her eyes narrowed.

'Well I'm unavailable,' she said shortly as she attempted to walk past him.

But he took her wrist gently and she stopped, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

'Let go of me, Alphard,' she whispered, her eyes flashing dangerously. 'Don't make me…'

'Just one dance?' he whispered. 'Just one, please!'

She swallowed nervously and she hated herself for having such a weak resolve as her heart continued to beat erratically as his handsome grey eyes looked earnestly into hers.

She could scarcely believe that such kind-looking eyes could ever be so cruel- or deceiving- to be responsible for ruining her friend.

'I…okay,' she said finally, her shoulders slumping as she gave in.

Alphard smiled and led her to the dance floor. Sugary Christmas carols were playing and Selene's breath caught as he pulled her closely to him, resting his cheek against hers as they began to move slowly to the music.

Every part of her body felt as though it was on fire. She was sure his hand, which was rested lightly on the small of her back, had burnt a hole through the thin silk of her dress, and it took all her resolve to stop her knees from locking in and giving way as they moved.

'You look very beautiful tonight,' he whispered in her ear.

She shivered as his warm breath tickled her ear, and he pulled her a little closer to him, his chest coming into contact with hers.

'And that dress is the most beautiful I've seen tonight.'

Selene screwed her eyes tightly shut.

'Malkin made it for me,' she said through gritted teeth.

Alphard stopped dancing and pulled away a little, so that he could look her in the eye.

'Selene,' he said seriously, his grey eyes sincere. 'You have to understand that I had no idea what Malkin was going through.'

'You knew enough to be suspicious of her that day,' she retorted, her eyes flashing.

Alphard ran a hand through his black hair wearily.

'I only knew because she was _begging _me. At that point, it seemed quite obvious that she was going through withdrawal symptoms. I swear I had never seen her in that way before, though, and I had only ever given her Vice just the _one _time. How was I supposed to know she'd form an addiction?'

'And what about how you strung her along?'

Alphard looked way, his grey eyes becoming as hard as stone.

'Do you know that _I _was in love with her?' he said, his eyes flashing angrily. 'I _begged_ her to go out with me, to give me another chance after we broke up. But no- she merely rejected me time after time. Eventually, I got over her- but then she suddenly wanted to start again with no strings attached. I'm sorry, but I wasn't going to refuse that, especially seeing as I still liked her.

'So why did you go off with other girls, then?' Selene accused.

'Because we were never going to be anything more than a 'casual thing'!- and believe you me, she kept reinforcing that point each time we were together!'

Selene said nothing, but looked away.

'And how do you justify leading _me_ on, then? You asked me to the Yule Ball when you were still going on with her!'

Alphard sighed.

'No, I wasn't,' he said quietly. 'She and I had ended it by then.'

Selene crossed her arms, looking unconvinced.

'Look,' Alphard said gently, his features softening as he looked at her again. 'She and I were always a mistake- we were bad for each other. But you…'

Selene looked away quickly, but Alphard put a finger under her chin and lifted it; forcing her to look at him.

'It's different with you. You have to know that I respect you far too much to be like I was with her, or any other girl, with you.'

Selene swallowed thickly and Alphard leant forward and touched his lips to hers, softly. She sighed, her lips parting slightly as he kissed her again. Her lips felt as though they were burning with his every touch and she closed her eyes, feeling dizzy as he pulled her closer to him..

Suddenly she opened her eyes to see Tom watching her from across the room. His dark expression was stony, but she could tell that he disapproved and, no matter how much she wanted not to care what Tom thought of her, she couldn't escape that horrible guilt which wrenched inside her chest.

She quickly pushed Alphard away and ran for the door.

'Selene, please,' Alphard called after her, running after her.

'Leave me alone,' she said tearily, lifting the skirt of her dress as she hurried up the Great Staircase.

'Selene, please!'

Selene paused and looked down the staircase at Alphard. He ran up to where she was and they stared into each other's eyes searchingly.

'I can't do this,' Selene whispered, her eyes becoming glassy with tears. 'I can't let you hurt me like you hurt her, because no one will look after me if you do.'

He cupped her cheek and his thumb traced her cheekbone lightly..

'Selene, I won't hurt you,' he whispered, resting his forehead against hers. 'I could never hurt you.'

Selene shook her head.

'Yes, you could.'

'But I won't, because…'

Selene stepped away quickly and shook her head at him.

'I'm sorry, Alphard,' she said, composing herself. 'I can't and won't do this. I only get one chance, and I'm not going to risk it on you. You're not worth it.'

Hurt flashed across Alphard's eyes and Selene quickly turned and left before her resolve could weaken again.

* * *

Tom hated anything that involved socialising with foolish people, and the Yuletide Ball was a prime example of such an event. The only thing all the boys seemed to be thinking of was sex, and if they were going to be getting any- or snogging at the very least- and the girls were divided between bitchy thoughts about other girls' dresses, worrying about how _they _looked, and whether they had impressed their partners.

He knew all this because, in his boredom, he decided to try his hand at some legilimency. After all, aside from dancing with Morticia and socialising with the Professors, he had nothing else to do.

When he saw Selene being kissed by that foolish Alphard Black, he felt a strange tightness in his chest. He was angry, but also surprisingly disappointed in her for being so easily taken and naïve. He couldn't help but being satisfied when her little lapse ended and she ran away from Black.

At least she wasn't as foolish as the rest of the girls at the Ball. He almost felt _proud_ of her for leaving as quickly as she did- as though _he _had played some part in bringing her up to be different to the other girls. He quickly dismissed this thought, as Morticia came up to him, yet again.

'Oh Tom, dear, why don't we dance again? This is such a divine song, is it not?'

Tom smiled falsely at Morticia.

'I don't care much for dancing, Morticia.'

She pouted.

'Oh come now, Tom, it's Christmas! Don't be such a scrooge!'

She held her hand out to him and he scowled, but quickly took her hand as he saw Headmaster Dippett watching them from across the room.

'Last dance, Morticia,' he said as they danced. 'I'm leaving after this.'

'But it's only midnight!'

'That's when the Ball is meant to end, isn't it?'

Morticia rolled her eyes.

'Yes, but there's the post-ball party in the Common Room!'

'I won't be attending. I think I've satisfied my socialising quota quite enough for the year.'

'Oh Tom…'

The bell chimed and the music died down.

He bowed to her formally.

'Good evening, Morticia.'

And with that he left her, glad to be rid of the frivolities of the Ball.

* * *

He pressed the sharp blade against the pale skin of his arm. He swiftly slashed his skin and closed his eyes tightly as he felt the crimson blood oozing slowly down his arm.

Breathing shallowly, he walked over to the simmering cauldron and added a tablespoon of his blood into the grey potion. It hissed venomously and turned onyx.

Tom smiled, satisfied with his work, and flicked his wand, healing his bleeding arm.

'Now for the final step,' he whispered, his eyes widening as he realised that he was only one incantation away from immortality.

Slowly, he slide Morfin's ring from his finger and dropped it in the black potion. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and began to speak in the ancient tongue.

'… _mmeld ayx.'_

He slowly opened his eyes and waited.

Suddenly, he felt an intense pain in his gut. It was a horrible and intensely painful ripping sensation, as though something inside of him was fighting to get out.

He screamed and fell to his knees, clapping his hand to his mouth. Whatever wanted to leave his body, wanted to do so through his mouth.

Thoughts of eternal life had suddenly vanished. All he wanted was for his soul to stay in his body- as one.

As it was meant to be.

Suddenly, his hands were forced from his mouth by some invisible force and white smoke shot out of his mouth, going straight for the cauldron.

'No!' he gasped hoarsely, reaching out feebly for what was the other half of his soul.

The cauldron started hissing and suddenly there was a bang and then…. nothing.

Tom dragged himself across the floor to where the cauldron was smoking and gasped as he saw that the potion had simmered away leaving the cauldron empty except for the ring.

Gingerly, he stood up and held the ring up and looked at it. He could feel the energy of his lifeforce emanating from it.

Slowly, he slid the ring back on his finger and looked up at the mirror on the wall in front of him.

He started as he realised that he looked different- his skin had become paler, his features more gaunt, and his eyes…

There was a red gleam to them.

Suddenly, his laughter rung throughout the empty dungeons.

He had done it. He was now- finally- immortal.

* * *

'Hey Tom, are you feeling okay? You look really pale,' Morticia said as they walked into potions.

Tom was really getting very tired of hearing the same comment over and over.

'I'm fine,' he said through gritted teeth.

'But…'

'I've just got a cold,' he snapped, ignoring Morticia and stalking across the room to where Selene was sitting.

She herself looked pale and withdrawn as she stared blankly at the textbook in front of her and rubbed her temples in slow circles.

'We need to go to the library,' he hissed, not wanting to deal with another any of her histrionics today.

She sat up, looking startled.

'Wh…what?' she stammered, her eyes darting about nervously.

He blinked in surprise as he took in her appearance; her eyes had dark circles under them, her hair was unkempt, and she looked more pale than ever.

'The library,' he said shortly. 'We need to go. Now.'

'O…okay,' she said, freezing as Alphard Black walked in the room.

Tom rolled his eyes as he noticed this and continued to the door. She followed him closely.

'I saw you two at the ball. Are you two going round, now?'

Her mouth became a rigid line.

'No,' she said stiffly. 'Dancing with him was a mistake.'

'I could have told you that. You could do much better than Black.'

Selene came out of her nervous train of thoughts and looked up at Tom in surprise.

'Do you think so?' she said, sounding genuinely surprised. 'I thought you'd think him too good for me- what, with him being a pure-blood and all.'

Tom scowled.

'He's a blood traitor which means he had might as well be a mudblood for all I care.'

Selene sighed and then her mouth became a thin line as she remembered how Tom had tortured her in front of all his friends.

They continued to walk to the library in silence.

'Aren't you going to comment on my appearance?' Tom said drily.

He was rather surprised that she hadn't already. Almost everyone he had spoken to had asked him if he was feeling okay, and every single person who had seen him had _wondered_ what was wrong with him in their thoughts.

And yet she had neither thought nor asked after his appearance. This was strange for Selene, because she was the curious type and never refrained from such comments in the past.

Selene frowned and looked up at him as though he was mad.

'What about your appearance? You look just the same as ever,' she said shortly.

Tom gazed at her, trying to read her thoughts to see if she was lying.

'_Can't believe I want him to kiss me again. Can't believe…just stop thinking about him! Look what he did to Malkin…he's bad for you, Selene! Bad news! You can't afford that!'_

Tom rolled his eyes. Selene was obviously too preoccupied with her thoughts on Alphard Black to even properly notice him.

This annoyed him. He had expected better from her.

'You mean to tell me,' he interrupted icily, 'that you don't see anything remotely unusual about my appearance today?'

Selene rolled her eyes and looked at him severely.

'Tom,' she said flatly. 'You look exactly the same as you always do- the same cold, unfeeling bastard whom I've had to live with my entire life. You look perfectly normal to me. No different to what you looked like yesterday, or the day before. Is there something you_ want_ me to notice?'

Tom stared at her. He knew she wasn't lying, and now knew that she was looking at him properly—

But why didn't she notice the change?

'So you don't think I look a bit paler than usual, for example?' he pressed.

Selene raised her eyebrows.

'You've always been pale, but you don't look any _paler_.'

'What about my eyes?'

Selene sighed exasperatedly.

'Black as usual. Tom, whatever you're trying to get out of me just spit it out and be done with it, because I have my own issues to think about.'

Tom rolled his eyes.

'Oh yes. _Alphard_…' he trailed off. 'So you mean to tell me that I look exactly the same to you?' he frowned, trying one final time.

Selene looked thoroughly bewildered now.

'Tom, you're a ridiculously vain boy. You look exactly the same to me. I'm sorry if you've had any kind of work done and I haven't noticed… but you look just the same as always to me.'

She stared at him, looking confused, and Tom frowned.

'Do you see any red in my eyes?' he said, trying one last time.

Selene laughed hollowly.

'Tom, you're mad. Your eyes are black as they've always been. Go to the bathroom and look in the mirror if you like. Meanwhile, I'll be in the library.'

She shook her head at him and walked off to the library, and Tom- feeling bewildered himself- went to the bathroom.

He tugged at his hair in frustration. His skin was still sallow and drawn, and his eyes were still rimmed red.

And yet she hadn't noticed.

Why?

* * *

'_**mmeld ayx' **_** is Aramaic for 'eternal life'.**

**So I believe that I have a bit of explaining to do. A few of you have been concerned for my wellbeing after my absence of two weeks. No, I'm not dead (obviously) and am very sorry that I haven't updated for so long, but I have just come out of two weeks of exam study hell. All I've done for the past two weeks is study and sleep (minimally). If any of my responses to your reviews were short, please forgive me because I really had no time at all but still wanted to respond to let you know that I had read (and appreciated) your review!**

**But it's all over, so I can promise that this prolonged silence won't happen again any time soon. Unless I do actually die, of course.**

**Now, this chapter was written in a very hungover state because the weekend after exams naturally consisted of many parties and far too much alcohol. So, I can safely say that I'm not too proud of most of the writing in this chapter. I suppose the break from writing also made it rather hard to get into the momentum of it again.**

**Next chapter:**

'Alphie, I love you.'

'Okay…'

'No, I mean I actually _love_ you. Not as a friend, but as something more'

**And I know that it's been a long wait, but you all did an amazing job with reviewing the last chapter so why don't you show me just how much you missed me and review this one?**

**Much love,**

**Anya**

**p.s. My dear reader 'pottermate' has made banners for this story, and TGM. The links are on my author's page. Please check them out, and a big thank you to 'pottermate' for making them!**


	16. Chapter 16: Exceeded All Promise

"_**We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.**__**" – **_**Orson Welles**

**

* * *

**

**Exceeded All Promise**

'Well done, Miss Asteria,' Professor Dumbledore said, smiling kindly to her as he handed her back her essay. 'Full marks. I see you're finally applying yourself to your studies. Congratulations, a very good effort.'

Selene gave a small smile and took her paper from Dumbledore, looking through it quickly and then looking blankly down at her desk. Dumbledore observed her for a moment before continuing to hand back the marked essays.

'Overall this essay was quite well done. You may all go- but please remember your essay on Animagi which is due next lesson,' Dumbledore called as everyone started to pack their satchels.

'Hey, Selene…'

Selene paled and looked up to see Alphard sitting on the edge of her desk. She looked away quickly and continued to pack her books away.

'Hey, can we talk?'

She swallowed thickly.

'I…there's nothing to discuss,' she said quietly, ignoring him as she stood up.

He touched her wrist gently.

'Please,' he said softly. 'Nothing funny. I promise I won't try anything on you. I just… you always were good for a conversation.'

Selene looked at him dully, and he was struck by how lifeless her hazel eyes seemed.

'_You_ want a chat?' she said in disbelief.

He swallowed and nodded quickly.

'Yes,' he said.

She gave a half smile and shook her head.

'I'm sorry, I've got things to do. I'm sure there are plenty of other girls in this school who would like a chat with you, though. Why don't you try them?'

And with that, she walked out of the classroom, down the corridor, until she found another classroom that was empty.

She sighed as she entered the room and leaned back against the door. The thought of spending yet _another_ evening alone made her feel so depressed.

Ever since Malkin had left, she'd had no one to spend her evenings with, so she had resorted to studying every evening until curfew in empty classrooms. The upside of this was that she was getting full marks in almost all of her subjects. The downside, was that she had sunk into a deep depression and had never felt more alone her entire life.

She reluctantly walked over to a desk and dropped her back on it, grimacing as she took out all her assignments. She only had one left to finish for the school year, because she had gotten so ahead in her work.

After staring at her parchment distastefully for a few minutes, she finally screwed her resolve and started writing her essay on Animagi. It didn't take long for her to enter a state of deep concentration and, before long, she had written a good foots-worth of essay.

--

She was in such a deep state of concentration that she jumped with fright when there was a tapping on the window.

Laughing at herself for being so easily startled, she went to the window and relieved the owl of its scroll. She smiled sadly as she saw that it was a letter from Malkin.

_Dear Selene,_

_You're getting Outstandings across the board? That's wonderful! I think I'll feel bad about coming back to Hogwarts next year- obviously I'm a bad influence on your studies._

_So everyone loved the dress on you? I'm so glad you liked it. It was of this design I had been working on for ages, and I always thought it would look best on you. When I see you again, you'll have to model it for me. I'd love to finally see it on you! _

_But you never told me what happened at the ball! I want details, please!_

_And me- well, I'm doing okay. The first few weeks were hell. I reckon the withdrawal symptoms almost killed me…but I'm glad I've come here. I've been clean now for a month which apparently is a huge achievement. I actually feel much better, though. I no longer have any desire or cravings for it, so I suppose that has to be good._

_As for my eating- well, apparently Vice is an appetite suppressant, so they're partly attributing it to my eating issues. I've put on a bit of weight. I really don't think that I need to put that much more on, though! Honestly, they want me to look fat- way fatter than I was before I even stopped eating. I think it's very unfair of them, if you ask me. I can understand my not being allowed to be 'skeletal' but it's another thing to make me fatter than I naturally am._

_So I've been trying very hard and am doing very well. I won't come back to school again this year, but will be back next year. I'm also staying here over summer so, unless you can make it to France, I guess I won't be able to see you for a few months still- which I hate. I don't have any normal friends here. They're all nut jobs with terrible fashion sense. Honestly, some of the get-ups I've seen…_

_In short, I really don't like it that much here. Much prefer Hogwarts and am missing you very much. _

_Love, Malkin. _

Selene stared at the parchment before scrunching it up and throwing it in the bin. She put her head in her hands and started breathing heavily, not wanting to succumb to tears but feeling them stinging at her eyes nonetheless.

'So alone,' she whispered, closing her eyes. 'So alone.'

* * *

She wandered through the school, feeling as though she was dazed. She had hundreds of magical terms running through her mind, but was too exhausted from her intense study session to remember what they meant.

Her stomach growled a little, but she barely even noticed in her exhaustion. All she wanted to do was sleep, even though it was only nine o'clock.

She mumbled the password to the Fat Lady and ignored everyone in the Common Room as she made her way to the Girls' quarters.

'All right, Selene?'

She turned around, blinking to stay awake, and saw Florean watching her. He looked rather concerned.

'Oh…yeah, sure,' she said sleepily. 'You?'

'Not bad, though you look a bit tired. Had a big day?'

Selene yawned and nodded.

Florean bit his bottom lip.

'Say, how's Malkin?' he asked tentatively.

Selene brightened a little at this. No one other than Alphard had asked after Malkin, and she still hadn't quite forgiven Alphard for his role in Malkin's breakdown- no matter how much they both said that it wasn't his fault.

'She's doing quite well, she says,' Selene said. 'She said that she should be back at school next year.'

Florean beamed.

'So she's really getting better, then?'

Something about how much Florean genuinely seemed to care struck Selene and it made her want to go over to him and hug him, just for being the only person in the school who seemed human enough to care.

She walked over to the armchair where he was sitting and sat next to him.

'Yeah, she's improving. I think she's trying very hard to get better. It's good for her over there too- she doesn't have any bad influences I don't think.'

Florean nodded.

'Yeah… I was so sad when she left. She was really nice.'

Selene was surprised to hear this. Whilst _she _thought that Malkin was nice, she knew that most other people didn't see this side to Malkin and was therefore surprised that Florean Fortescue of all people had seen it.

'I never knew you and Selene were friends,' she said.

Florean blushed scarlet.

'Oh, we weren't really,' he said offhandishly. 'We just spoke once, really, but she was very nice. My grandma was sick at the time, you see, and I was a bit upset and sort of just wanted someone to talk to. I'm sure she didn't _really_ want to know, but she at least listened and made me feel better about it…'

He trailed of and blushed even more deeply.

'She was just really nice about it, is all,' he shrugged offhandishly.

Selene couldn't help it- she suddenly hugged Florean very tightly.

'Um…'

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' she said, wiping her teary eyes and separating from him quickly. 'I… I just know how that feels like and…'

She hiccoughed and laughed in spite of herself.

'I'm sorry,' she sniffed. 'I'm just r…really t…tired and it's…it's been t…tough without M…Malkin.'

Florean smiled kindly at her.

'If you ever want to talk, Selene, I'd be happy to listen,' he said quietly. 'I don't exactly have many friends, so I'd like it, actually.'

Selene sniffed.

Why don't you have friends? You're so nice.'

'So are you, but you seem lonely,' Florean commented.

Selene said nothing.

--

'Oh my…oh my…oh _wow!_ Sweet Merlin, Florean, that was _amazing!_'

Florean grinned at her and wiped his sweaty brow.

Selene still looked at him with wide eyes.

'Well, well, who would have known you had such talent?'

Florean blushed and looked down at his hands, embarrassed. Selene laughed at him and continued to eat the caramel fudge sundae Florean had made for her.

'Oh _Merlin,' _she sighed, closing her eyes as she was overcome by the intensity of the rich flavours.

Florean laughed at her.

'I don't think that it's as good as you're making it out to be,' Florean stammered.

Selene shook her head and tried to say something, but waited for a few seconds as her mouth was full of chocolate.

She swallowed and smiled at Florean.

'I've grown up in an orphanage… but even so. Hogwarts desserts have _nothing_ on this sundae. I think you should open up a shop selling just these.'

Florean rolled his eyes.

'You're too nice.'

'No, I'm really not. I'm honest- and this is honestly the best dessert I've ever eaten.'

Florean smiled, looking pleased.

'Can you make this for me every day?' Selene continued. 'I swear, I don't think anyone could ever be depressed after eating this- and I would know. I was feeling pretty low, today, but now I feel so…'

'Full? You said you hadn't eaten dinner,' Florean remarked.

Selene shrugged.

'Either way. I think you should make both Malkin and I these every day next year. I think it'd cure Malkin of whatever she has better than any rehab centre.'

Florean's ears tinged at the mention of Malkin and Selene watched him closely.

'Do you like her or something?' Selene asked, eating some more sundae happily.

Florean started spluttering.

'Like? What? No, course not! Don't know what you're…'

'Methinks you protest too much,' Selene said in a sing-song voice, nudging him suggestively.

Florean looked very flustered.

'Look,' he said hotly. 'She's just pretty and nice and…'

'It's okay,' Selene grinned, tapping her nose. 'I'll keep your little secret for you.'

Florean glared at her and Selene smiled innocently and continued to eat her sundae.

'Well what about you, then?'

Selene looked up, startled.

'Me? No one!'

Florean raised his eyebrows at her and Selene suddenly became even more interested in her sundae.

'Who is he?'

Selene shook her head slowly.

'No one. He's… no good for me. We would never work.'

'Ah, so what's his name, then?'

Selene fixed Florean with a hard gaze.

'Do you promise not to tell anyone?'

Florean snorted.

'Who would I tell? Honestly?'

Selene bit her lip tentatively.

* * *

Tom gasped in pain and ran to the bathroom where he began wretching into the toilet bowl again.

Ever since he had created the Horcrux, he had suffered from terrible bouts of nausea and would wake up every night from a disturbed sleep, sweating profusely and feeling breathless.

Once the nausea had subsided, he stood up shakily and rinsed out his mouth. He leant over the sink and then looked up at his reflection, startled as always by the change in his appearance.

He was sure that Selene had to be lying that she saw no change in his appearance- anyone could tell he had become gaunter, and the red gleam in his eyes was unmistakable.

Once he had steadied his breathing, he stood up straight and left the bathroom for the dungeons.

'Where were _you_?' Selene said pointedly as he returned to the dungeons and started helping her crush wormwood.

'I… wasn't feeling well,' he said truthfully.

She surveyed him.

'Have you lost weight? You look a bit peakish,' she commented.

His head snapped up.

'You notice a change in my appearance, then?' he said. 'Like my eyes…'

She rolled her eyes and added her wormwood to their potion.

'Your eyes look the same, Tom. Honestly, have you been reading 'Witch Weekly' where they claim that you can 'glamour your way to beauty'?'

Tom scowled.

'Everyone else has noticed the change.'

'Well they're probably lying.'

Tom pursed his lips.

'Since when were you talking to me again?' he hissed, glancing around to make sure that no one was watching them.

Selene shot him a dirty look and kept working.

'Since I realised that no matter how much I hate you or wish you would just disappear, you're a permanent fixture in my life.'

Tom became indignant at the thought.

'I certainly am not!'

Selene shook her head at him.

'Say what you like, but I don't think we'll ever be able to escape each other.'

For some reason, Tom shivered at the thought. Perhaps it was because he too had pondered this concept many times.

But something was missing this time. In the past, standing in such close proximity to Selene would have made him a little bit hot; a little bit bothered…

But now there was no tingling sensation as she brushed past him to add ingredients to their cauldron, and the usual tension in his gut was now an uncomfortable dullness.

They continued to work in silence until they completed their potion.

It was as Tom was admiring how perfect their potion had turned out that he noticed the change in Selene- she seemed pale and had dark circles under her eyes.

Furthermore, she had done most of the work in creating their potion, and her method had been flawless.

'I daresay, Selene,' he said ironically. 'Have you been _studying_?'

Selene's eyes lit up.

'I have a bit,' she said, slumping in the chair next to him and stretching her arms. 'Does it show?' she added, grinning.

Tom shrugged, not wanting to let her think he was complimenting her.

She smiled, looking pleased.

'That's quite a compliment, though. Coming from you anyway.'

'I was _not_ complimenting you,' Tom scowled.

They both looked up to the sound of a throat being cleared, and Selene's eyes narrowed.

'Can I help you, _Alphard_?' she said acidly.

He swallowed nervously, glancing at Tom before returning his gaze to Selene.

'We have one more Hogsmeade weekend after the exam period. Will you go with me? I want us to sort things out before the summer…'

Selene snorted.

'Sort what out, Alphard? You and I were never friends or anything to begin with,' she said coldly, hating Alphard for approaching her in front of Tom.

Alphard forced a polite smile.

'I don't like having enemies, and I like you.'

'I know what happens to the girls you like,' Selene muttered.

Alphard sighed patiently.

'It won't be like that. It'll be strictly platonic. We'll get a cup of coffee, and you can leave. I won't even walk you back to Hogwarts, if you like.'

Selene glanced at Tom who rolled his eyes and then stood up and left.

She faltered.

'Why do you always look to him?' Alphard frowned. 'It's as though you look to him for permission for your every action.'

Selene crossed her arms and glared at Alphard who sighed in defeat.

'Fine. I'm sorry, that was none of my business. Now, will you join me for coffee next Hogsmeade weekend? Please?'

Selene stared at him for a few moments before throwing up her arms in defeat.

'Oh _fine!_ So long as you stop annoying me until then,' she snapped, standing up and following Tom by going to the store cupboard.

'I don't want to hear it,' she said to him, busying herself by putting away their spare bezoar stones.

Tom said nothing, but merely watched her. She spun around to face him, suddenly.

'It's nothing. Really- he's nothing,' she said, not sure why she felt the need to explain herself to him.

He raised his eyes to meet hers.

'Why do you think I care, little mudblood?' he whispered softly, his eyes cold.

Selene shivered and felt her throat constricting.

'Because…because… you have to understand that he means nothing to me,' she whispered desperately. 'He's just annoying… and won't stop until I give him a coffee date.'

Tom went to leave, but Selene blocked the door.

'Tom, please…'

He pushed her back against the wall roughly, his face contorting with fury. He felt an unreasonable rage welling inside of him- one that was completely irrational.

'Why do you think I care about you?' he hissed. 'Why are you wasting my precious time with your rubbish? You are _no one _to me. _Nothing_. You are as significant to me, as that spot of dust over there. So just _leave me alone_.'

Selene looked down, hurt tears stinging her eyes.

'You can't mean that,' she whispered. 'You can't.'

He laughed hollowly and took a step closer to her. She swallowed thickly.

'Have you already forgotten your first taste of the Cruciatus Curse?' he whispered in her ear.

She gasped and pushed him away from her suddenly and stalked out of the room. She didn't even wait to have their potion approved, but picked up her satchel and walked out of the dungeons. Tom hesitated before following her.

'Perhaps you'd like another taste of it,' he taunted her, relishing how much he was hurting her.

She turned on her heel suddenly and walked right back up to him. He snorted when he saw the tears streaking her pale cheeks.

'Why are you like this?' she shouted, pushing him roughly. 'We're all we've ever had in this world, and yet no one seems to repulse you anywhere near as much as I do. Why? I don't understand it, Tom. Why?'

He stared at her and she pushed him again.

'Why?' she screamed.

He suddenly put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes very seriously.

'You still don't get it, do you?' he whispered coldly. 'And that's why I hate you so much- because you're nothing but a silly girl. You don't understand that nothing matters to me more than power- more than being the best wizard in the world. You are a mudblood, and are therefore scum in my eyes. It really is as simple as that, you foolish girl.'

More tears spilt down her cheeks as she stared at him, and he scoffed and walked off.

'Selene? What's going on? Why are you crying?'

She could barely see him as he came up to her and enveloped her in a tight hug.

'Don't cry,' he whispered to her. 'You've always known that he'd hurt you- you yourself told me so.'

Selene sniffed weakly.

'You know, I think I could really do with one of your sundaes right now,' she said, laughing feebly as they separated.

Florean wrinkled his nose and dabbed his handkerchief at her cheeks.

'Want to skiv transfiguration?'

She nodded numbly and he put his arm around her shoulders as they made their way to the kitchens.

* * *

'How's 'Operation Selene' going?' Sean asked, pouring out two firewhisky shots.

They clinked the shot glasses and downed the burning liquid in one go.

'I hate this stuff. I don't know why I keep drinking it,' Alphard grimaced.

'You want another round?' Sean offered.

'Yeah, pour me a double.'

Sean poured out more whiskey.

'Well? Do you still fancy her?'

Alphard downed his shot and grimaced again.

'I really don't know why I drink that shit. It kills me, I swear it does.'

'It certainly kills your liver at the very least,' Sean said mildly. 'Another?'

'Sure, sure. Fill me up.'

Sean's lips twitched at the comment.

'You know, Sean, I don't know if it's any different with her. I keep _saying_ it is, but I really don't know if it actually is. I partly think I'm just hoping it's different with her because I'm tired of being a bastard to the girls I go round with. Plus, she's like a kid compared to the others. I almost feel like a dirty pervert just looking at her.'

'Dirty perverted Alphie,' Sean chuckled, downing another shot. 'I sort of like it.'

Alphard poured out more shots.

'I really hate this stuff,' he repeated, downing another shot. 'Don't know why I drink it.'

'So you've said.'

Alphard sighed and lay back on the floor of their dorm.

'I've always fashioned myself to be the type to fall in love very easily. I think I do as well. You see, whichever girl I'm with at the time, I consider myself in love with her.'

'That, my friend, is lust. Not love.'

Alphard shook his head and poured out more shots.

'No, I'm fairly cetain that I love them. I have to, or else I can't let them near me. I once tried to get sexy with a girl I didn't care for very much, but I couldn't do it. She wasn't the ugly sort either, mind you. I just didn't like her.'

Alphard frowned.

'Does that make me like a girl?'

Sean laughed.

'You sure seem to fall _out of_ love with them very quickly. Girls seem to be a bit more constant with their affections,' he pointed out.

Alphard poured out more firewhiskey.

'Boy, I really hate this stuff. Why do we drink it, again?'

'Because it gets you more drunk in a shorter amount of time. Spliff?'

'Yeah, why not,' Alphard shrugged. 'I'm gonna fail the exams next week anyway.'

They lay back on the ground and Sean sighed, rubbing his eyes to clear his blurry vision.

'Alphie, I love you.'

'Okay…' Alphard laughed, taking the joint and inhaling deeply.

'No, I mean I actually _love_ you. Not as a friend, but as something more.'

Alphard snorted.

'You're already really pissed, aren't you?'

Sean sighed and turned on his side to face the wall, rubbing his eyes which were starting to sting with tears.

'Say, Sean, I've never seen you with a bird. Why is that?'

Sean closed his eyes and rubbed his temples slowly.

'I don't fancy them much.'

'Birds?' Alphard laughed, sitting up. 'What's not to like? They're soft and voluptuous and always smell like a treat…'

Sean snorted.

'I always smell nice,' he said bitterly.

'Yeah, but you're an exception to the male rule.'

'_You_ always smell decent,' Sean protested.

'Well, I shower regularly if that's what you're getting at- but it's not as though I ever wear perfume or anything.'

'Selene never wears perfume,' Sean said. 'She probably can't afford it.'

Alphard sat up unsteadily.

'But she's so beautiful it doesn't matter… maybe I should buy her perfume?'

Sean rolled hi eyes.

'Mate, I speak honestly when I tell you that she doesn't like you. You can't force a girl to like you- especially not one as smart as she.'

'She really is smart now, isn't she? She must be studying a fair bit.'

'Well ever since you were responsible for the loss of her best friend,' Sean said drily, 'I don't think she has much else to do.'

Pain flashed across Alphard's features.

'It wasn't all my fault,' he said quietly, looking down at the floor. 'Please tell me it wasn't, because I can't take this anymore.'

Sean turned around and sat up to look at Alphard properly. He then sighed and hugged Alphard.

'You weren't completely right, but no one can make you take the blame completely for what happened to her.'

Alphard looked away.

'Look, I think you just need to be a bit more careful from now on, that's all. Just… if you go out with a girl, at least have the decency to end it with her before you move on to the next one.'

Alphard nodded quietly and Sean ruffled his hair.

'Okay, I think we'd better get to bed and sleep this alcohol off. Otherwise, tomorrow's going to be one interesting Arithmancy exam.'

They both stood up unsteadily.

'You really should find yourself a girl,' Alphard mumbled as he stripped down for bed. 'She'd be really lucky- whoever she is.'

Sean smiled bitterly and said nothing as he pulled the hangings around his bed.

* * *

Dumbledore chuckled as he opened the door to his office and let Selene in.

'Goodness, child, don't look so worried!'

Selene smiled weakly. She had been very worried to receive a note from Dumbledore asking for a meeting.

'Did I fail my exams?' she asked, her voice wavering at the thought.

Dumbledore laughed at her again.

'Quite the opposite. Why don't you take a seat,' he said, waving a hand at the chair.

Selene sat down gingerly.

'I wanted a meeting,' Dumbledore explained, 'to congratulate you on your efforts this year. You seem to finally be applying yourself.'

Selene shrugged.

'To be quite honest, professor, I haven't really had anything else to do with myself other than study.'

Dumbledore nodded.

'I understand. How is Malkin doing?'

'I think she's getting better,' Selene said sadly. 'But it's hard to tell, because her letters sometimes sound too optimistic to be real.'

Dumbledore peered at Selene over the top of his half-moon spectacles and frowned.

'Are you happy, Selene?'

Selene smiled bitterly and said nothing.

'Well I wanted to personally give you your exam results from this year- outstandings across the board, and top of your class in Potions and 'Defence Against the Dark Arts.' Here is your academic transcript for the year,' he said, handing her a piece of parchment.

Selene took the paper but barely even glanced at it.

'Is that all, sir?' she said quietly.

Dumbledore sighed.

'Yes, that is all. Now, I strongly advise you enjoy the rest of your day- the sun is shining quite beautifully.'

Selene grimaced.

'I have a date with Alphard Black in a few hours, so I doubt that there's any way I'll be able to enjoy today- but I shall do my best.'

'Ah, the young Mr Black? He's a very handsome boy and usually quite courteous, I believe. I'm sure you'll have a grand time.'

Selene gave a closed smile and opened the door.

'Goodbye, sir. Thanks for my results.'

--

She stared dully at her results. If she had received such results last year, she would have been ecstatic. Now, she couldn't bring herself to care.

Feeling annoyed, she scrunched up the parchment and aimed for the rubbish bin in the corner of the library's reading area. Instead, it hit the top of someone with black hair whose chair was next to the paper bin.

Selene bit her lip and hesitated as to whether she should hide, or go and apologise.

She saw a hand with long, pale fingers reaching down for the parchment and smoothing it out. She then groaned as she realised that the boy was Tom, and that her name was written across the top of the her results.

She sighed and reluctantly went over to where he was sitting and reading her results.

'Sorry about that, I missed the bin. I've got a terrible aim,' she said reaching forward to snatch her results back from him.

He moved them away and continued to read them.

'_Accio Results.'_

Tom looked up as the results flew from his hands, into hers.

'Since when do you get Outstandings across the board?' he said coldly.

'Since I started studying,' she said quietly, ignoring his eyes.

'But…'

'I've got to go,' Selene interrupted, walking off without waiting for him to finish.

Tom watched Selene as she walked off, feeling rage boiling up inside of him. He clenched his fists as he looked down at his own exam transcripts—

He only got 'Exceeds Expectations' in Transfiguration and Potions.

* * *

**So Selene is finally showing her potential in school. It's sort of sad that she had to lose her best friend to start studying, though. But at least she has someone now in Florean.**

**Very soon, we'll get to see a bit more of her potential 'in action'. **

**Now I know it took me a while to update, but I'm not lying when I say that I've been busier now that uni's over, then I was when I had uni. The past week has sort of been this haze of going out all the time and no sleep. **

**But now it's calming down a bit and- guess what? The next chapter's already written!**

**So next chapter will be Selene's date with Alphard:**

'_Maybe I have internal bleeding,' he _[Alphard]_ said _[to Selene]_. 'Did you consider that?'_

And

'_Please don't make matters more complicated than they already are,' she said, barely louder than a whisper._

**If you want the next chapter in record time, you know what you have to do, don't you? I'll give you a hint- it gives you a warm fuzzy feeling, and is a verb starting with 'r'. **

**Much love,**

**Anya**

**p.s. Check out my profile page. Saciice, the lovely girl, has made banners for all of my stories. Also, check out Pottermate's banner for 'Witchcraft by a Picture' which has been revamped. All this banner love is making me giddy!**


	17. Chapter 17: Forbid To Touch

"_**There is a charm about the **__**forbidden **__**that makes it unspeakably desirable.**__**" – **_**Mark Twain**

**

* * *

**

**Forbid To Touch**

Alphard fidgeted nervously under the table as he waited for Selene to arrive. He still wasn't entirely sure that she would keep her word and meet him for coffee.

'Can I get you something, dear?'

Alphard looked up at Madam Puddifoot and hesitated.

'I… I'm sort of waiting on someone still,' he said. 'Perhaps if you could bring a bottle of water, though?'

Madam Puddifoot smiled at him and walked off. Alphard sighed and picked up the menu and flipped through it for what must have been the tenth time already.

'Alphard?'

He swallowed nervously and turned to see her. She looked paler than usual and her eyes looked very anxious- as though she still had half a mind to turn around and leave.

'Selene!' he smiled, standing up and going over and pulling out a chair for her. 'Thanks for coming.'

She gave a half-smile and sat down gingerly. He sat down again and motioned for a waitress to serve them.

'What can I get you?' she asked politely.

'Selene?' Alphard said, looking at her.

'Uh… Ice tea, please,' Selene said, smiling politely back at the waitress.

'Make it two,' Alphard said, handing the waitress the menus. 'Ice tea sounds good on a day like today- it's so hot, isn't it?'

Selene shrugged and picked up her teaspoon and started toying with it.

Alphard watched her. She had plaited her long dark hair to one side and tied it with a black velvet ribbon. Her dress was of white cotton and she wore brown sandals which looked as though they were almost on the verge of falling apart.

They continued to sit in silence until Madam Puddifoot brought their Ice Teas.

'So,' Alphard said slowly, trying not to stare at Selene's red lips as they wrapped around the straw and she sipped the tea. 'I… I thought that maybe we could talk.'

She looked up at him and he faltered as he was struck by how big her hazel eyes were.

'So you want to talk,' Selene said eventually, placing the spoon down on the table and crossing her arms. 'About what?'

Alphard opened his mouth, but no words came out. Selene bit her lip and looked down at her glass.

'Are you going anywhere for the summer,' she asked quietly, avoiding his eyes.

He suddenly felt the awkward tension between them dissipating.

'Uh, yeah,' he said, sitting forward. 'Yeah, we're going to Florence.'

'Florence? That sounds nice. How long are you going for?'

She still kept her eyes fixed on the glass.

'Two months, I think. I'm not entirely sure- my parents are organising it. I sort of just go along with it,' he shrugged. 'What about you? Are you planning on doing anything special?'

Selene glanced up at him with a rueful smile.

'Less talk about me. After all, _you're_ the one who has to convince me that you're not as bad as I'm assuming you to be.'

Her lips twitched as she said this and Alphard let out a sigh of relief. He suddenly felt much more relaxed in her presence.

'Okay then,' he laughed. 'Well what would you like to know about me?'

'Do you have any siblings?'

'Yes. I have two older sisters.'

'Are they at Hogwarts?'

He shook his head.

'No, they've both finished.'

Selene smiled.

'What are their names?'

'Walburga and Cygna.'

She regarded him with an amused expression.

'Everyone in your family seems to have interesting names. Is there a reason for that?'

Alphard laughed and nodded.

'Yeah, we're all named after stars.'

Selene blinked in surprise.

'So Alphard is a star?'

'Yeah,' he shrugged.

Selene looked at him expectantly.

'What?'

'Well aren't you going to tell me about your star?' she laughed. 'I'm sure there's an interesting story behind it.'

Alphard looked surprised.

'Oh sure… I just didn't want to bore you. Some people aren't really interested by that sort of thing.'

Selene rolled her eyes.

'Well you should know, Mr Black, that I'm not most people,' she said ironically.

His lips twitched.

'Oh no, I think I was made very well aware of this fact when you caused my pumpkin juice to blow up in my face all the way back in fourth year.'

Selene laughed softly.

'Sorry about that- though now I'm sort of thinking you deserved it.'

'Probably,' Alphard grinned. 'So- my star-'Alphard' is the brightest star in the constellation Hydra. My name means 'the solitary one' because there are no other bright stars in the constellation 'Hydra'.'

Selene looked thoughtful as she processed this information.

'Solitary one,' she mused quietly. 'Is that something you can relate to?'

'What do you mean?' Alphard frowned.

Selene shrugged.

'Your girlfriends never seem to last. Is that you trying to keep with your namesake of being 'solitary' – or single, if you will- for life?'

Alphard chuckled and sipped more tea.

'As clever as your comment is, I think that's reading into it a bit much,' he laughed. 'It's just a Black tradition, this whole 'stars for names' business.'

Selene shrugged.

'Well it's interesting,' she said, sipping more tea.

Alphard surveyed her.

'You yourself have a pretty interesting name. Especially given that you're an…'

He cleared his throat and looked down at his glass quickly, his cheeks flushing.

'Given that I'm a what?' Selene said flatly.

Alphard shook his head.

'Given that I'm an orphan?' Selene sighed. 'It's okay - there's no reason to pretend that I'm not one.'

Alphard shot her an apologetic look and Selene waved her hand.

'I don't know why I have the name I do. It's Greek, though, so I'm fairly certain that my parents were of Greek descent. As for my name's meaning- Selene is the goddess of the full moon. There are three goddesses of the moon- Artemis of the waxing moon, Hecate of the waning moon and new moon, and Selene of the full moon.'

Alphard smiled and looked at her.

'Selene…' he said, repeating her name softly. 'It's a very pretty name. I'll always think of you whenever I see the moon now.'

Selene bit her lip and looked down at her glass. She slowly traced the rim with her index finger.

'Is it hard- being an orphan?' Alphard asked quietly.

Selene shrugged.

'I've never known anything more, so I don't know what I'm missing out on,' she said, barely louder than a whisper.

'Do you have any friends back at the orphanage?'

Selene smiled bitterly.

'I wouldn't exactly call Tom a friend.'

Alphard's eyes widened in shock.

'He's at _your_ orphanage?' he exclaimed.

Selene nodded and glanced up at Alphard.

'Yep. Tom and I are the only older kids left. We largely ignore each other when he's not trying to kill me,' she said, rolling her eyes.

Alphard pursed his lips.

'So _that_'s why you two are always talking. I have to say, I was always a bit confused by your relationship with him.'

'What relationship?' Selene said hollowly. 'I'm constantly forgiving him for being a royal prat to me, and he's constantly being a royal prat to me.'

Alphard's nostrils flared.

'Does he give you a hard time? Would you like me to…'

Selene laughed, and there was a sarcastic edge to it.

'_You_?' she said in disbelief. 'What do you think _you_ could ever do to Tom?'

Alphard crossed his arms.

'I happen to be quite good at magic, thank you very much,' he said defensively. 'And even better in a fist fight.'

Selene rolled her eyes.

'If wands weren't involved, Tom would use wandless magic on you.'

'Wandless magic?' Alphard said, frowning. 'He can't do that- no one at our age can.'

Selene's cheeks coloured.

'I…well… I sort of can,' she said uncomfortably. 'So can he,' she added.

Alphard looked surprised.

'Maybe you're twins or something- and he's the evil one, and you're the good one?'

Selene's eyes widened in horror.

'Oh _God!_' she exclaimed. 'I really hope not. That would be _terrible!_'

Alphard eyed her suspiciously.

'Why?'

Selene faltered.

'Um…Oh, well, could you imagine being _related_ to someone like Tom? It would be so _embarrassing!_' she lied.

Alphard nodded, believing her.

'This is true. Then again, I wish to Circe most days that I'm not related to my family.'

Selene's eyes narrowed.

'You should be grateful to have them,' she said quietly.

Alphard blushed as he realised how she would interpret his comment.

'Sorry,' he said hastily. 'I didn't mean…'

Selene shook her head and smiled apologetically at him.

'No, I'm sorry. I know you didn't mean it,' she said apologetically.

Alphard nodded slowly.

'Did you get your exam results back?' he asked, changing the subject.

Selene shrugged nonchalantly.

'Yeah.'

'You look disappointed. Are you upset about any of your scores?' Alphard asked tentatively.

Selene laughed bitterly.

'Oh sure. I got Outstandings across the board and I'm _disappointed_,' she said sarcastically.

She suddenly clapped a hand to her mouth.

'I'm so sorry,' she whispered. 'I didn't mean to be rude.'

Alphard shook his head, still looking shocked.

'Outstandings in all your subjects?' he repeated. 'I never knew you were such a genius!'

Selene shrugged.

'It's more of a recent thing. After all, you know how terribly I did in Arithmancy.'

Alphard nodded, smiling.

'Yeah, I have a vague recollection. Still, Outstandings across the board is amazing. Perhaps I should get you to tutor me. I got a few Acceptables, and then two 'Exceeds Expectations', so I probably could do with a spot of tutoring.'

Selene blushed.

'I'm not _that_ good- and you don't need a tutor anyway. It's just a matter of reading the books and practising.'

Alphard nodded ruefully.

'I know, but I never end up doing it.'

'Well it's our NEWTs next year, so I think you'd better get used to the idea that you're just going to have to 'end up doing it',' she said seriously.

Alphard sighed but nodded nonetheless.

'You're right,' he agreed. 'Boy, only one year of Hogwarts left! Doesn't that scare you a little?'

Selene's cheeks flushed and she looked down at her glass quietly.

'What?' Alphard pressed, noticing her reaction.

'It scares me so much more than you could imagine,' she whispered, still avoiding his eyes. 'It's been my home for so long, I don't know what I'll do once it's all over.'

Alphard regarded her for a moment.

'Will you go back to the orphanage?'

Selene shrugged and looked up at him. He could see her eyes were both worried and sad.

'I don't know,' she said hopelessly. 'Most probably yes. Until I get a job, anyway.'

'Will you be sad to leave the orphanage? Do you like it there?'

Selene tapped at one of the flowers in the vase on their table.

'Yes and no. I hate it because it's an orphanage and isn't meant to be a nice place, but I love it because it's where I was raised and, aside from Tom, the other orphans are really nice and we all get along very well. Having said that, they're all muggles and could never understand this world I come from- which is why Tom infuriates me so much.'

She bit her lip and blushed as she realised she had let out too much information.

Alphard sat forward curiously.

'Tom?' he pressed in a soft whisper.

Selene looked up at Alphard, feeling her annoyance at Tom growing. She didn't hate Alphard- but it was Tom's attitude towards Alphard in the past few months that had made resent him even more than she had when Malkin left.

She hated that Tom, who didn't care for her at all, could manipulate and control her so easily, and she was now determined to break his hold over her.

'He's… well I've already told you how we hate each other. The thing is, though, we have so much in common that we _should_ have been best friends but instead are enemies.'

Alphard raised his eyebrows.

'Does that upset you?' he asked tentatively.

Selene shrugged evasively.

'I don't want to talk about him,' she said crossly. 'He's not worth it.'

Alphard smiled at her and picked a small yellow flower from the vase and tucked it in Selene's hair.

'You used to smile much more,' he commented. 'I remember you used to distract me all the time in Arithmancy.'

Selene laughed.

'I did, didn't I? I suppose it's because I hated the subject so much that I couldn't stand sitting still for an entire period of it. Then again, I was sort of like that with all of my subjects back then.'

Alphard smiled at her and tentatively took her hand. She glanced at their hands, but said nothing and he was relieved that she didn't withdraw her hand.

'Well let me tell you a secret,' he whispered, leaning closer to her across the table. 'I don't care much for Arithmancy anymore now that you're not there. It's quite boring.'

Selene blushed and cleared her throat quickly.

'I… I think I should get going now,' she said, avoiding his eyes. 'I still have a bit of packing to do and I won't get the chance to tomorrow, what with the End of Year celebrations and all.'

Alphard nodded and he signalled for the bill.

--

They walked back to the castle in silence. Eventually, Alphard spoke.

'I know you probably don't want to discuss her with me, but despite what you may think- I do still care for her. Is she…is she doing okay?'

He didn't need to use her name for Selene to know he was talking about Malkin. She was quite surprised to find that she liked him better for asking after Malkin- it meant that he at least felt remorse for his part in Malkin's problems, and that he was good enough to care that she was improving.

She took a while to respond.

'She… she writes,' Selene said hesitantly. 'She _seems_ happy in her letters. She says she's put on a bit of weight and that she's completely over Vice…'

Alphard looked as though he had a huge weight taken off his shoulders at this.

'So she's better, then?' he asked hopefully.

Selene shrugged.

'So she says. I'm not sure if I believe it all, though. And, even if she's telling the truth, I don't know that she'll be able to maintain it once she leaves the rehabilitation centre. I'm worried that she'll come back to school and just go back to her old ways. Obviously I'll try my hardest to monitor her, but I can think of countless ways she could trick me with a wand on her.'

Alphard nodded slowly, not looking as relieved anymore.

'But,' Selene shrugged, 'I think the main thing is just to be positive. If I try keeping her happy, then hopefully that will be enough for her to choose happiness over the depression and darkness she went through last year.'

'I think she's very lucky to have a friend like you,' Alphard said as they walked through the Entrance to the castle.

Selene shrugged.

'She's like a sister to me. I'd do anything for her.'

Selene hesitated and came to a halt. She looked Alphard in the eye seriously.

'Look, I appreciate you making an effort with me, and I'm glad you did because I really don't think you're all that bad. Actually, I think I quite like you as a person, so I'm glad that we're no longer angry at each other.'

'Selene, my dear,' Alphard said. 'It was only ever one-sided.'

Selene waved this comment off.

'The thing is,' she said seriously, 'I can't be friends with both you and Malkin. She needs to come back to an environment next year which is as neutral as possible and I don't know what our being friends might trigger in her. She could be fine with it, but I doubt it if she was always jealous of me when she was with you.'

'So what are you saying?' Alphard said incredulously. 'That I can't speak to you because of Malkin?'

Selene bit her lip.

'It doesn't have to be that extreme, but I'd rather that we keep our distance from each other for her sake. At least for the first half of the year, anyway.'

Alphard frowned.

'So… we should meet in secret?'

Selene smiled and shook her head.

'No,' she said taking his hand. 'I think we just shouldn't meet at all. Alphard, you're a nice boy. I'm sure you'll find other girls and forget about me. After all, we've never really had 'anything' to begin with.'

Alphard looked at her seriously.

'Do you really believe that?' he said, his gaze unwavering.

Selene swallowed thickly and Alphard leant forward and grazed his lips against hers. Selene let out a jaded sigh and rested her forehead against his. She screwed her eyes tightly shut and, reluctantly, gently pushed him away from her.

'Please don't make matters more complicated than they already are,' she said, barely louder than a whisper. 'It's just… it'll just be much easier if you and I keep our distance. If you care about me as much as you say you do, then you won't make my life any harder and help me with this.'

She chewed her bottom lip and looked up at Alphard earnestly. He smiled ruefully and cupped her cheek, tracing her high, chiselled cheekbone with his thumb lightly.

'I won't ever like it,' he said whispered slowly, 'but I'll do this for you.'

Selene smiled and Alphard felt his heart beating erratically as he noticed how beautiful her smile was- how it reached her hazel eyes and made them sparkle.

'You really are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen,' he murmured. 'Don't ever let anyone make you forget that.'

Selene continued to look into his eyes searchingly, but said nothing. Eventually, Alphard sighed and dropped his hand and Selene winced at the loss of contact. After half a year with only the occasional chat with Florean, Alphard's touch had made her feel warm for the first time. Now that he had withdrawn it, however, she felt that cold emptiness again and it made her eyes prickle.

'Have a good summer,' Alphard said, nodding formally to her, turning around and walking off in the direction of the Ravenclaw Common Room.

Selene stared after him, feeling rooted to the spot. The emptiness inside her seemed to grow more and more and all she could think of was that she had nothing but three months of loneliness and the occasional expected abuse from Tom ahead of her.

Without a second thought, she started running.

'Alphard!' she called, 'Wait!'

He turned around as she ran up to where he was. Her cheeks were flushed, her hazel eyes were bright, and she was breathing heavily as they stared at each other.

'I…'

But she didn't let him finish, because she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him fully, feeling that warm electricity running coursing through her body once again- that warmth which was more addictive than Vice after such a prolonged period of cold emptiness.

Alphard was shocked at first, but then pulled her more closely to him as he opened the door behind them to the empty classroom. They stumbled in, never breaking contact as they continued to kiss wildly.

Suddenly, they tripped over a chair and they both came crashing to the ground. Luckily for Selene- and perhaps not so luckily for Alphard- Alphard cushioned her fall.

'Ouch,' he groaned weakly as Selene got off him hurriedly.

'Are you okay?' she asked, trying not to giggle as she helped him up.

Alphard scowled at her.

'You're laughing at my pain?' he groaned, clutching at his side.

Selene smiled sweetly.

'Well there's no blood, so I'm not too worried,' she said, smoothing his shirt out.

Alphard's lips twitched as she did so and she blushed and stopped. He groaned again.

'Maybe I have internal bleeding,' he said. 'Did you consider _that_?'

Selene rolled her eyes.

'Where does it hurt?' she said in a baby-voice.

Alphard tried to keep a straight face.

'Here,' he said, patting the back of his head.

Selene raised an eyebrow and walked around him.

'Here?' she asked, touching the spot on the back of his head.

'Yes,' he said, his breath quickening.

Selene stretched up on the tips of her toes and kissed the spot. Alphard let out a sigh and she walked around to face him again, her lips still twitching.

'Anywhere else?'

Alphard bit his lip.

'Here,' he said, pointing to his shoulder.

Selene leant forward and kissed the tip of his shoulder.

'Better?' she asked mockingly.

Alphard bit his lip to stop himself from laughing and nodded seriously.

'Anywhere else?'

'Here,' he said, pointing to where his heart would be.

'You didn't even fall on that area!' Selene said, shaking her head at him.

'Yes, but it hurts from something else,' Alphard said raising his eyebrows suggestively.

Selene shot him a disapproving look but kissed the area softly and quickly nonetheless. Slowly, she looked up at him.

'Is that it? Do you feel better now?'

Alphard shook his head, not breaking their eye contact.

'Not quite.'

'Have I missed a spot?' Selene asked ironically.

Alphard nodded seriously.

'Yes, it's the most painful one of all.'

Selene raised her eyebrows.

'Oh? Well, you'd better point to where it is, then,' she whispered, unable to look away from his grey eyes.

He pointed slowly to his lips and she smiled a little.

'Here?' she whispered, moving closer to him and touching his lips slightly.

He closed his eyes and let out a sigh.

'I can see what you mean,' she whispered, against his lips. 'They feel a bit swollen.'

'Well, Healer, you'd better kiss them better for me, because I think I'll die if you don't.'

Selene couldn't help laughing a little at this.

'You, Alphard Black, are a shmuck,' she whispered against his lips.

Alphard opened his eyes and grinned, cupping her cheek with his hand.

'Only because you turn me into one,' he whispered. 'And you can't say that this hasn't been fun.'

Selene rolled her eyes and Alphard kissed her softly.

'How are those lips doing?' she whispered, her lips brushing against his as she spoke.

'I think these ones need a few more treatments before they're completely healed,' he said.

'Dear me, we'd better see to them. It sounds like quite the medical emergency,' she laughed, kissing him again.

--

'So what happens next year, then?' Alphard said, interlacing his fingers with hers as they sat on the floor of the classroom, her head resting on his shoulder.

Selene looked up at him, and he kissed the tip of her nose softly. Her eyes fluttered close.

'I… I don't know,' she murmured, sitting up.

'I rather liked your head on my shoulder,' Alphard commented, not liking the loss of contact.

Selene gave a closed smile, but shifted away from him slightly.

'I… I still think we shouldn't be together,' she said quietly, taking her hand away from his and looking up at him seriously.

'Selene, should we really have to suffer because…'

Selene looked away, her eyes hard.

'I'm sorry, I won't do this to her. I won't. I haven't suffered from months without my best friend only to lose her again when she comes back.'

Alphard ran a hand through his black hair, feeling frustrated.

'So… what about you and I?'

Selene said nothing.

'Why did you even come after me?' he said, his voice rising a little in his anger at the situation.

Selene looked up, worried that he was angry, and sat on her knees and placed a hand over his mouth.

'Please don't be like that,' she whispered earnestly. 'I told you that I like you. I do, and I…well I came after you because I was tired of feeling so empty and fighting you. I know it was wrong of me- I shouldn't have- but I couldn't help it. Surely you can understand?'

Alphard took her hand and kissed it.

'I do,' he whispered. 'I just don't want it to end before it's even started.'

Selene looked down and then leant forward and kissed him.

'If we're meant to be, we'll be- just not next year. I'm sorry, but Malkin's health and happiness comes first.'

'To your own happiness?' Alphard interjected.

Selene smiled ironically.

'Alphard, you don't determine my happiness. Being with you could make my life more interesting, but I don't need you to be happy,' she said seriously.

Alphard looked down sullenly and she kissed his forehead.

'Enjoy your summer. I'll see you next year. We can't be together next year but it's as I said- if we're meant to be, we'll be together someday. Otherwise, thank you for today. I'll always remember it as being a very nice day.'

And with that, she gave him one last smile and left the room.

* * *

**With regards to TGM, a lot of the 'prequel' Tom/Selene scenes in that are being changed. Whilst those scenes were fitting in TGM, they aren't working when I try sticking them in here and won't do this story justice. Just letting you know.**

**So. Next chapter- **

_Tom groaned in pain as he tried to use spell after spell to remove his Head Badge which was painfully lodged in his rectum._

**You all did a very decent job at reviewing the last chapter. Let's continue the great work and I shall have the next one to you just as quickly (or sooner, depending on how well you do!)**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	18. Chapter 18: Hateful to Mine Ear

"_**You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul.**__**"**_** – Julia de Lespinasse

* * *

**

**Hateful to Mine Ear**

Selene did not even bother looking for Tom once they arrived at King's Cross. Knowing him, he probably wouldn't even return to the Orphanage this time but go on some quest to research the Dark Arts.

Either way, she found that she no longer cared about Tom. Being with Alphard that day had been liberating on so many levels, because she realised that _Tom_ had been holding her back entire life.

She had always lived her life trying to gain his approval, but now she realised that this was a hopeless exercise and that- given his interest in the Dark Arts- his approval wasn't necessarily an appropriate measure of whether what she was doing was good.

She was waiting for a taxi when she felt a hand on her waist. She turned, suddenly, to find Alphard looking into her eyes searchingly.

'H…hi,' she said breathlessly.

He gave a half smile.

'Sorry, I couldn't leave without saying goodbye,' he said, winking.

She smiled slowly.

'I'm glad you didn't,' she said truthfully.

He glanced around them and then kissed her quickly on the lips.

'May I write to you during the summer?' he asked, hailing a taxi for her.

Selene stared at him, puzzled as always as to how he could have played any role in Malkin's troubles.

He seemed too wonderful.

He took her trunk from her, put it in the boot of the taxi, and then came back up to her.

'Well?' he asked, toying with a tendril of her long, dark hair. 'May I at least write to you?'

She blinked and nodded.

'Yes,' she smiled. 'I think I'd like that.'

He smiled a little and her heart jolted as she realised that they would have to keep their distance next year. His presence was so intoxicating that she didn't even want to get in the taxi, let alone ignore him during their final year of school.

'Well, enjoy your holiday. 'I'll miss your smile.'

She looked at the ground and blushed.

'I'll… well, enjoy Florence,' she said dejectedly.

Alphard quickly kissed her cheek again and, with a final nod to hurried off.

'Where to, ma'am?' the cab driver asked.

Selene hesitated and then stepped in the cab. Just as they were about to drive off, the door opened and Tom slid in next to her.

'Were you going to leave without me?' he asked, his eyes flashing furiously.

Selene swallowed nervously, but then held her head up high.

'Yes,' she said acidly. 'You never contacted me to tell me that you were returning to the orphanage.'

Tom glared at her.

'I always return. Why would this year be any different?'

'Last year you went off and I went back on my own,' she snapped.

'Well it's not as though _you_ sought me out to check if I wasn't going.'

'Why should _I _be the one to seek you out? If you love independence as much as you say you do, then you should have been happy to catch your own cab.'

The rest of the cab ride was filled with a suffocating silence, with cold fury emanating from Tom. As soon as they arrived at the orphanage, he left without another word to Selene, leaving her to pay the cab fare.

Furious with Tom, she marched to his dorm and threw the door open.

'Hey, you owe me five pounds,' she spat, throwing the receipt at him. 'I don't have to suffer a cab ride with you and pay for it as well.'

Tom spun around, his eyes flashing dangerously.

'You know, little mudblood, you had better watch yourself. You don't have your beloved Dumbledore here to watch your back. I could very easily put you back on that rock.'

Selene snorted.

'And I could just as easily _get off_ it,' she sneered. 'You're not the only one who's good at magic here, _Tom_.'

Tom glared at her and then smiled sardonically and walked closer to her.

Selene swallowed at the closeness of their proximity, but her eye contact did not waver.

'I'd be _very _careful if I were you,' he whispered menacingly. 'All I'd have to do is snap my fingers and your spine would snap in two.'

Selene smiled coldly.

'If you think you're going to get out of paying your cab fare by scaring me, you're grossly mistaken. I want the money by breakfast tomorrow,' she whispered icily.

They glared at each other.

'You really never learn, do you?' he said softly.

Selene raised her eyebrows stubbornly.

'No, Tom, it's _you_ who never learns. You still can't see that your nastiness will get you no where good in life.'

Tom laughed coldly.

'I'm not planning on going anywhere _good_, Selene.'

Selene rolled her eyes and went to the door.

'No offence, _Tom_, but you're too much of a pansy to be the 'bad boy' type.'

She left without a further word and Tom was so furious as he registered what she had just said that he made the light bulbs blow merely by clenching his fist.

* * *

_Dear Selene,_

_How are your holidays? Is England still cold and raining? I wouldn't be surprised if it is. Our summers really are quite pathetic. _

_Florence is lovely. I've sent you this postcard so you can see where I'm staying. It's a very pretty town. I'll take you here, one day, and you'll see what I mean. The food, the music, the lifestyle… they really live to enjoy life here. I wish my parents would take a leaf out of these Italians' books. They really could do with a bit of loosening up._

_I don't know if I ever mentioned it, but they're pretty much the exact stereotype of rich, upper-class snobs. At the moment, they're having 'high tea'. I've escaped to send this to you. Honestly, you should have seen the girl they wanted to send me down to tea with. She's my first cousin, but I've heard talks of them trying to set us up. It's rather disturbing._

_Anyway, that's all I have to report after two days of holiday. _

_Still missing your smile, Alphard_

Selene smiled guiltily as she read the postcard again, and again. His writing was in elegant cursive and she closed her eyes as she imagined him writing to her in a countryside mansion, overlooking expansive, grassy green fields.

'Selene, have you finished ironing yet?'

Selene hastily stowed away the postcard and continued to do her chores.

But her smile remained for the rest of the day.

* * *

'You all have to leave,' she said brusquely, entering the boys' dorm. 'I need to change the sheets.'

The other boys in the dorm hurriedly hopped off their beds and ran out of the room. Tom, however, continued to read his book as though he hadn't heard Selene.

She put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

'Are you deaf, Tom?' she snapped. 'I just said that you have to get out of this room. Now.'

Tom looked up at her insolently.

'I can do as I please.'

Selene crossed her arms.

'Get out.'

Tom rolled his eyes.

'Make me.'

Selene clenched her fists and, with a frustrated scream, turned around and set about stripping the other boys' beds. Tom shut his book and watched her as she bent over the beds.

'Why don't you use magic?' he drawled. 'If you're as good at it is you claim to be, surely you wouldn't waste your time doing mundane muggle tasks the _muggle _way.'

'Because we're not 'of age' yet,' Selene said, keeping her back to him. 'And we're in a muggle environment.'

Tom rolled his eyes at her.

'You're nothing but a useless mudblood,' he yawned, opening his book again.

Selene came to his bed and glared at him.

'Get up. I need to change your sodding sheets.'

Tom ignored her and Selene had half a mind to leave his sheets and let him sleep on dirty sheets for the next few weeks, but then realised that Sister Jackie would inspect the sheets and realise that she hadn't done her chores properly.

'I'm going to ask you one last time,' Selene said, her voice shaking with anger.

Tom continued to ignore her and that was when Selene lost control. She snapped her fingers and Tom was flung off the bed into the corner of the room. Fuming, she set about stripping his bed.

Suddenly, she felt her stomach wrenching and she fell on the bed, doubled over in pain.

'You think you can touch me, little mudblood?' Tom seethed in her ear.

Selene tried not to scream as she felt her stomach writhing and contracting painfully.

She coughed and her eyes widened when she saw blood on Tom's newly changed white sheets.

Screwing her eyes tightly shut, she concentrated and, suddenly, Tom was thrown off her into the wall of the room with a sickening crunch.

She gasped, catching her breath as the pain lessened.

'You _whore_,' Tom spat, wincing as he straightened up and approached her menacingly. 'You'll pay for that.'

Selene glared at him, but then her eyes widened as she felt herself becoming paralysed. Tom smirked as he approached her slowly. He traced a finger across her jawline, then down her neck and chest.

'Let's see just how much of a whore you are,' he seethed, his eyes gleaming a manic red as he grabbed her shirt and tugged at it, sending buttons flying.

Tears slid down Selene's cheeks as she tried to struggle against whatever cure he had put on her.

Tom laughed hollowly as he saw the fright in her eyes.

'If you were a real witch you'd be able to stop this,' he hissed, clicking his fingers and causing her bra to come off.

Selene tried as hard as she could to fight the curse, but it seemed to be too strong. She couldn't move at all.

'No one here to save you,' Tom hissed in her ear. 'No one will be able to hear your screams… I told you to watch your back, mudblood. I warned you, but you didn't listen,' he said, his hands making their way up her thighs.

Suddenly, Selene's concentration broke through the curse and, in a swift movement, Tom was flung into the next bed, his head hitting the bed post violently.

Sniffing, Selene hurriedly pulled her clothes around her and walked up to where Tom was slumped.

'I hate you,' she cried tearfully. 'I really hate you so much.'

Without a second thought, she tore from the room, feeling more degraded and unclean than ever.

* * *

Malkin surveyed her appearance in the mirror apprehensively. She knew she was too fat, but hoped that she could lose the extra weight back at Hogwarts. Biting her lip, she set about putting her makeup and fixed her clothes so that they were immaculate.

She surveyed her appearance one last time, but then looked up when there was a knock at the door.

'Miss Malkin, your car is here to take you to school.'

Malkin smiled ruefully and left the bathroom to see her maid, Maimi, fluttering about her room.

'Your parents have left you this bag of galleons for your expenses during the school year,' Maimi said, handing her a small bag full of the heavy coins.

Malkin sighed bitterly.

'Of course, it'd be too much to expect that they see me off,' she said sarcastically.

Maimi smiled apologetically.

'If you please, ma'am, the chauffeur is waiting. You don't want to miss your train.'

Malkin nodded and left the room and walked down the marble staircase and out of the antique door to her mansion for the car that was waiting outside her front door.

--

She wondered the train in search of a familiar face.

'Malkin?'

She turned to see Florean blushing furiously.

'Oh, hi Florean,' she said, smiling in relief. 'How are you?'

'Fine,' Florean said breathlessly, his blush becoming more pronounced. 'What about you? How are you- are you better?'

Malkin smiled broadly.

'Yeah, yeah, I'm much better.'

Florean nodded eagerly.

'You're looking much better. In fact, you look wonderful!' he said, turning bright scarlet now.

Malkin laughed uncertainly.

'Have you seen Selene?'

Florean bit his lip uncertainly.

'Yes, she ran to the bathrooms as soon as she got on the train. Do you want to find a compartment and I'll tell you about it?'

After a few minutes of searching, they finally found an empty compartment.

'What's wrong with Selene?' Malkin said, looking concerned.

'Well, she mentioned something about Tom, but wasn't very specific. I think they had a big fight on the way back from the orphanage, though.'

Malkin's lips became a thin line.

'That bastard. She never sees how terrible he is for her. She's always making excuses for him.'

Florean looked down.

'I don't know if she is anymore,' he said quietly. 'After a few incidents last year, he really pushed her over the line. I think she's finally come to her senses that he's terrible for her.'

Malkin rolled her eyes.

'I've been telling her that ever since I met her when we were 11.'

Florean shrugged.

'Love does strange things to people.'

Malkin nodded slowly, but then her eyes widened incredulously.

'_Love?'_ she said, confused. 'What?'

Florean bit his lip nervously.

'N…nothing,' he said, flushing scarlet once more.

Malkin stared at Florean in disbelief.

'Selene loves Tom?' she repeated dully.

Florean shook his head.

'It's different. It's a mixture of attraction, but then I think a lot of it has to do with this strange, unexplainable bond which stems from the fact that they've known each other longer than anyone else.'

'Yeah, but he treats her like dirt!' Malkin exclaimed. 'That's no bond there, I'll tell you that right now.'

'I know, I know,' Florean sighed. 'But I don't think you nor I will ever understand their relationship. I think it's much more complex than meets the eye.'

Malkin glowered, but said nothing further on the subject.

* * *

Selene sniffed as she stepped out of the bathroom.

'Selene!'

She wanted to start crying again at the sound of his voice, because she knew that she would have to ignore him again now and, in her already unsteady state, ignoring the only person who had made her smile during her holiday was the last thing she wanted to do.

She looked away hastily.

'I told you…'

He frowned and lifted her chin so that she had no choice but to look into his grey eyes.

'You're crying. What happened?' he said, his tone hardening.

She shook her head hopelessly.

'Nothing,' she said numbly. 'Forget it. I… you remember our agreement, don't you?'

Alphard sighed heavily.

'I hate this,' he grumbled. 'Surely there has to be a way…'

Selene shook her head hopelessly and went to leave, but he pulled her back into the bathroom and kissed her fervently. She was so upset and craved his touch so much that she could do nothing but kiss him back, just as fervently.

'Merlin, I've missed this. I never thought I'd want anything this much,' he breathed against her lips.

Selene shook her head, feeling tears stinging her eyes again, and kissed him again. She gasped as he placed searing kisses along her jawline, and then down her neck…

'This arrangement isn't working,' he commented as he kissed his way back to her lips.

Reluctantly, she pushed him away when he went to kiss her lips again.

'This arrangement _has_ to work,' she said firmly. 'I was just upset before because I had a bit of a tiff with Tom, but I'm fine now. Look, Alphard, this can't be.'

Alphard frowned.

'Don't call me 'Alphard'. Only those who don't know me well call me that. Call me 'Alphie'.'

She smiled and touched his cheek gently.

'Okay then… _Alphie._'

Alphard bit his lip to suppress his grin.

'Tom still giving you are hard time?' he said, his voice hard.

Selene sighed.

'He'll never give me an easy time. I think I was just emotional because the holidays seemed to last forever,' she said truthfully.

Alphard toyed with a tendril of her hair.

'Did you get my postcards?'

Selene nodded.

'Thank you for them,' she said earnestly. 'They really did help a lot.'

Alphard went to kiss her again, but she moved away slightly, so that only their foreheads were resting against each other.

'No,' she said quietly. 'Please, you promised you'd do this for me. Remember?'

Alphard sighed, feeling frustrated, but dropped his hands nonetheless and moved away from her slightly.

'I guess I'd better get out of the girls' bathroom, then,' he said dejectedly.

Selene smiled ruefully and, with a final sigh, he left her.

--

Selene screamed when she saw Malkin in the compartment with Florean. Suddenly, all thoughts of Tom and Alphard disappeared as she ran into the room and hugged Malkin tightly.

'You're back!' she squealed. 'I've missed you so much!'

Malkin hugged Selene back tightly.

'Yeah, I'm back,' she sighed as they separated and looked at each other.

'You're looking really good,' Selene said, pleased with how well Malkin seemed to have recovered. 'You look just perfect now.'

'I'm too fat,' Malkin said dejectedly. 'I was _never_ this fat- even before the anorexia and modelling stuff.'

Selene shook her head.

'No, you look perfect- just wonderful.'

She hugged Malkin again.

'You have _no _idea how happy I am that you're back. If it wasn't for Florean here, I think last year would have been completely unbearable.'

Florean blushed and went to leave, but Selene frowned.

'Hey, don't leave. I didn't mean…'

Florean blushed, touched that Selene wasn't about to forget him now that she had her best friend back.

'I… I was just going to the bathroom,' he stammered.

'Oh well, make sure you come back,' she said, winking at him.

As soon as he shut the compartment door, Malkin turned on Selene.

'Since when do we keep company with Florean Fortescue?'

Selene crossed her arms crossly.

'He's the sweetest person I know. Don't talk about him like that. He was the only…'

Selene blushed as she remembered Alphard.

'One of the only people who cared about me once you'd gone. Everyone else- Muriel, Augusta… they have their own friends and never bothered asking me how I was going. He asked after you a few times as well,' Selene added.

Malkin made a face, but said nothing more on the matter.

'He said something which has been worrying me a bit,' Malkin said seriously.

Selene raised her eyebrows.

'He said that you love Tom.'

Selene's expression hardened.

'I don't,' she said through gritted teeth. 'There's no one in this world who I hate more than that bastard. He can rot in hell for all I care, I'm through with him.'

Malkin blinked in surprise. She had heard rants about Tom from Selene before, but had never heard Selene speak in such a harsh manner about him.

'So… you really hate him now, then?'

Selene's nostrils flared.

'I don't want to talk about him anymore,' she said sullenly.

Suddenly, something on Selene's lapel caught Malkin's eye and she turned to look at the shiny badge more closely.

'Sweet Merlin!' Malkin exclaimed. 'You're Head Girl? Why didn't you say?'

Selene shrugged nonchalantly.

'It doesn't mean anything other than the fact that I'll now be forced to meet Tom on a regular basis.'

Malkin frowned.

'You're not in a very good mood today,' she said dejectedly.

Selene looked up, surprised, and sighed.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just that I'm still on edge from this argument I had with Tom on the way here. He wanted me to give up my badge.'

'I hope you told him where he could stick his,' Malkin said seriously.

Selene grinned mischievously.

'I didn't just _tell _him…'

* * *

Tom groaned in pain as he tried to use spell after spell to remove his Head Badge which was lodged painfully in his rectum.

'That bitch,' he seethed. 'I'm going to kill her for this. I swear to every deity there is I'm going to kill that mudblood whore if it's the last thing I do.'

'_Expellario_,' he croaked, pointing his wand at his backside.

He shouted in pain as he felt the badge slowly coming out. It was certainly a terrible form of torture.

Breathing heavily, he muttered 'scourgify' at the badge and then pinned it back on his lapel.

His hands were shaking with uncontrollable rage. It took all his strength to keep himself from apparating to her compartment then and there and using the most torturous killing curse he knew.

'Oh Tom, _there_ you are. How was your summer?'

His hands continued to shake all the more. Her high pitched voice irritated him so much that he wanted to kill her too.

He said nothing and she walked over to where he was.

'Tom?'

She didn't look that different from Selene, either. Her hair was black and straight instead of dark brown and wavy and came to her waist, but she still had a woman's figure which was a similarity enough.

'Tom, is there something wrong with your eyes? They're looking a bit red.'

He couldn't control it any longer. It was this unstoppable rage in him which could only be cured by killing her—

'_Avada Kedavra,' _he hissed.

* * *

They were not even ten minutes away from the school. He had already disposed of her body. Firstly he incinerated it to ash, and then threw her ashes out of the train window. He had worked as though on auto-pilot; completely detached from his self. He was past feeling remorse for his murders. She had been an irritating girl and was driving him to madness with her conversation. But killing her had made him feel an instant relief. He no longer felt that uncontrollable anger which was tearing away at him, but now felt completely calm and in control.

A voice rang through the train informing them that they had arrived at Hogsmeade Station. He stood up automatically and went to the front of the train where the mudblood whore was waiting for him for them to perform their Head duties together.

He saw her glancing at his badge which was once again on his lapel, but she said nothing. They both went to leave through the train door at the same time, but then Tom stepped back.

'Forgive me, how rude of me. Ladies' first,' he said politely.

Selene looked at him warily and he felt an immense surge of pleasure as he saw the fear in her eyes. He smiled to himself as he realised that she would now be constantly fear his revenge.

Oh yes, this was going to be a _very_ interesting year.

* * *

**A few of you are concerned that this story will just be Selene/Alphard. Whilst it is a pairing (and fyi, Alphard is a canon character), it's not the only pairing. Tom's 'pairing' with Selene will just be of a different nature to the conventional Selene/Alphard pairing. **

**So. Next chapter-**

'It has come to our attention,' Headmaster Dippet said seriously, 'That a student has gone missing.'

**But, no new chapter for your Inbox until you send a review to **_**my**_** Inbox! **

**The last chapter's efforts were quite disappointing. If you want quick updates (and I am one of the fastest updaters on this site, I believe) then a review is a nice way to repay all my hard work!**

**On a happier note, if you have Twitter- follow me! I'm new to it and need more friends. Link is on my profile page.**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	19. Chapter 19: Her Blush is Guiltiness

"_**Who shall bear the guilt of our great quell?" **_**– '****Macbeth'****- Shakespeare

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**

**Her Blush Is Guiltiness, Not Modesty**

Selene wasn't sure whether it was a blessing or a curse that she wasn't paired with Tom for potions again, as she was now paired with Alphard Black. Whilst the thought of having guilt-free contact with him on a regular basis thrilled her, she was also very apprehensive as to what it could potentially lead to.

'Don't even think about it,' she hissed as Alphard moved indecently close to her whilst she was stirring their cauldron. 'She's watching everything.'

'Did you ever think that all your secrecy might end up hurting her more in the end?' Alphard muttered sulkily, walking over to the opposite side of their workbench and chopping their arrowroots roughly.

'Not if there's nothing there to keep a secret,' she said. 'And please be a bit more precise with those arrowroots. Chopping them so coarsely will have a negative effect on our potion.'

Alphard pursed his lips and bit his lip in mock-concentration as he cut a sliver of the root, painstakingly slowly. Selene's lips twitched.

'Please pass me the juniper berries,' she said, trying not to laugh as he pretended to wipe his brow.

'Ma'am,' he bowed as he passed the bowl to her, avoiding her eyes.

'Thank you,' she said primly, adding them to the potion.

The potion turned a perfect scarlet and Selene smiled, satisfied with their work.

'Well done,' she said, smiling genially him. 'We did well.'

Alphard blushed quickly, but smiled nonetheless. He rubbed his neck uncomfortably as he searched for something to say.

'Head Girl,' he said gruffly, nodding at her badge. 'That's quite an achievement. I never congratulated you when I saw you on the train.'

Selene blushed scarlet and quickly looked down as she remembered their heated encounter in the bathrooms.

'Th…thanks,' she said. 'We…we should tidy up here now that we're done.'

As they tidied their work bench silently, her breath caught as Alphard's hand brushed the skin on her arm whilst he reached for their crushing knife. She knew it had been done on purpose, but couldn't help wishing that he would do it again.

She glanced at Malkin, who had been partnered with Florean, and saw her watching them carefully. Exhaling heavily, she glanced at Alphard and felt her heart palpitating as she noticed how forlorn his grey eyes were as he watched her.

Suddenly, she noticed that her palms had erupted into a cold sweat and that her breathing was erratic. She felt claustrophobic with both Alphard and Malkin watching her, and all she wanted to do was escape.

'I… I need to go to the bathroom,' she whispered, turning and running from the room without another word.

* * *

'So. Potions is a bore this year, isn't it?' Malkin said carefully as she and Selene got ready for bed.

Selene swallowed thickly.

'I… I actually don't mind Potions. I'm not too bad at it,' she shrugged.

Malkin chewed her lip.

'But… being paired off by the teacher is always annoying,' she pressed.

Selene dropped her pyjama bottoms in her nervousness.

'Oh… sure,' she agreed, over-enthusiastically. 'That Alphard Black has no idea, really. I had to keep stopping him from making a mistake.'

Malkin looked relieved and Selene knew that he was the only reason she had brought up their Potions class.

'Well, goodnight,' Selene smiled, not wanting to discuss Alphard any further.

'He… he never said anything about me, did he?' Malkin stammered.

Selene sighed and felt as though she was trapped. She hated lying, but now knew that she would have no choice but to lie.

'What do you mean?' she asked, becoming interested with her fingernails.

Malkin sighed and lay back in bed.

'He didn't ask or say anything about me while I was gone?'

Selene shrugged.

'He occasionally asked how you were, but I was so angry at him that we weren't exactly on speaking terms,' she said, screwing her eyes tightly shut as she her guilt overwhelming her.

'You shouldn't be angry at him,' Malkin sighed. 'It wasn't his fault. He did just what any other boy would have done.'

Selene rounded on Malkin incredulously.

'You don't still like him, do you?' she asked, her voice wavering.

Malkin smiled ruefully.

'I don't think so. I won't lie, though. Sometimes I _do_ think about him in that way…'

Selene looked away, her cheeks burning with guilt.

'So you still do, then?' she asked in a small voice.

Malkin screwed her nose.

'I don't know if it's like that. It's more the fact that he was my first for so many things that I simply can't bring myself to _forget _him. It's not as though I've had anyone _since _him to help with the forgetting process, either. It was easier when I wasn't at school, because I didn't have to see him and be reminded of everything that happened.'

Malkin sighed and Selene continued to watch her apprehensively.

'The thing is, Selene,' Malkin said truthfully, 'it was never _him._ I got over him long before I left school. It was the drugs and anorexia which were my problems. Seeing him just worsened it sometimes, because he usually did something to upset me in some way...'

Selene said nothing for a few moments, but picked the lint off her covers.

'So,' Selene said in a small voice. 'If he were to be with someone else, hypothetically speaking, you would be okay with that?'

Malkin screwed her nose.

'I _hope _so. In fact, if he was steadily going out with someone else, I think it'd be better because then it would help me get over the fact that we're never going to be together ever again.'

Selene smiled quietly and continued to pick the lint off her bedspread. Eventually, she sighed and spoke—

'It sounds like you've made such good progress, Malkin. I'm really proud of you,' she said earnestly.

Malkin smiled bitterly.

'You're the only one who seems to have ever cared. My parents…'

Malkin cleared her throat and forced a smile.

'Yeah, I've done pretty well, haven't I?' she said brightly. 'Hopefully I won't have any relapses. I don't _think_ I will, because I'm careful now and know the 'warning signs' of when I'm starting to slip up.' She shrugged. 'Anyway, that's enough chit chat for one evening. I think we'd better get to sleep because we've got an early start tomorrow with Charms.'

Selene smiled at Malkin, but was sure that Malkin could see through it.

'Goodnight, Malkin,' Selene she said quietly, pulling the hangings around her bed.

But she couldn't sleep. Whilst Malkin had said that she would like Alphard to be with another girl, she knew that she certainly would not like it if _she _were to be that girl.

* * *

'You know, I don't think Malkin likes me very much at all,' Florean commented to Selene as they studied for their Herbology test.

'What do you mean?' Selene frowned. 'Why wouldn't she like you?'

Florean shook his head.

'She… she's always trying to escape whenever I try talking to her, and she always gives these forced smiles during Potions. I can tell she's only ever nice to me out of politeness. Have I done something wrong?'

Florean looked so upset that Selene couldn't help feeling annoyed at Malkin for being so pretentious because she knew that, deep down, that Florean was right about Malkin's behaviour.

'Look,' she said kindly, 'Just… give her time. She finds it hard to get close to people. It'll take a bit of time for her to trust you properly.'

Florean nodded, but still looked miserable. Selene smiled warmly and patted his hand.

'Trust, me she'll like you,' she said firmly. 'No one can spend time with you and _not _like you. You're too lovely.'

Florean blushed.

'Thanks, Selene. How's it going with Tom and the whole 'Head' thing?'

Selene glowered.

'He's a royal prat. I actually get really scared sometimes, because he has such a large capacity for evil. Sometimes, I don't think he realises his limits or he gets so angry that normal restraint doesn't apply to him…' Selene shivered.

'Well you make sure you report anything that makes you uncomfortable,' Florean said seriously.

Selene smiled at him.

'I will, thanks Florean. Now, let's get onto learning about these damned plants, or else I'll fail tomorrow!'

--

Just as Florean was testing Selene, Malkin flung herself in the chair next to Florean.

'_There_ you are. Since when do we study in the library?'

Selene glanced at Florean who had once again turned bright red. She couldn't help feeling annoyed at Malkin for constantly ignoring Florean whenever she talked to her.

'Since I actually started studying,' Selene said seriously. 'Florean and I are just testing each other on Herbology. Want to join in?'

Malkin looked at their notes distastefully.

'Not really,' she said, screwing up her nose. 'I think I'll just read the notes myself in bed. After all, it's just a ten-question test, isn't it?'

'Yes, but it counts for five percent of our final Herbology mark,' Florean said earnestly.

'Whatever,' Malkin shrugged, getting up without so much as a glance in his direction. 'I'll see you in our dorm,' she said to Selene, before sweeping out of the library.

Selene sighed heavily and patted Florean's hand.

'She's like that with everyone. She doesn't realise that she's being rude or…'

'She's not like that with everyone, actually,' Florean said, looking up at Selene with anxious blue eyes. 'She's not like that with you, she wasn't like that with Alphard Black…'

'Yes, but she's had years to trust me _that _much… and was besotted with Alphie so the normal rules don't apply there. She'll need time to trust you, that's all.'

Florean looked at her pointedly.

'Alphie, eh?' he said suggestively.

Selene blushed scarlet.

'He likes being called Alphie,' she said stiffly, busily shuffling her papers.

'Is that so?' Florean teased. 'Tell me, Selene. How goes your relationship with the young Alphard Black?'

'He's older than you by two months,' Selene huffed haughtily. 'You have no right to call him 'young'.

Florean laughed at her.

'I see you have a chip on your shoulder when it comes to him,' he commented. 'Perhaps there's something you've conveniently forgotten to tell me?'

Selene crossed her arms.

'Florean, we are here to study Herbology, not to discuss frivolous matters such as my non-existent relationship with Alphard Black!'

Florean's eyes widened.

'Ah, but you wouldn't use the word 'relationship' unless there was some form of unresolved tension between the both of you,' he pressed.

'Since when are you so horrible to me?' Selene sighed, exasperated. 'And don't you blame him for what he did to your _cherie_?'

Florean himself blushed at this statement.

'He… that's got nothing to do with it,' he stammered. 'If you were with him, it'd be much different to what he had with Malkin.'

Selene bit her lip and her heart started beating faster just at the thought of being with Alphard.

'Why… why do you say that?' she asked quietly, tracing the cover of her textbook.

'Because you'd be entering a relationship for all the right reasons and you would both be sure of your feelings for each other before you did. It wouldn't be some rushed, secretive affair like it was with Malkin,' Florean said simply.

Selene's eyes widened and she looked up at Florean sadly.

'But what if I were to enter in a relationship with him- and keep it a secret from Malkin because I was scared of her reaction?' she asked quietly.

Florean shook his head seriously.

'Then that would be repeating her mistakes,' he said wisely. 'And I know you. You wouldn't do that.'

Selene said nothing, but felt horrible guilt churning away at her stomach.

* * *

'Sean, do you get this?' Alphard said, thrusting the equation for the magical reaction of two potion ingredients in front of Sean.

'Sure. The atropine is a nicotinic agonist and causes a release of acetylcholine at the neuromuscular junction.'

Alphard scratched his head, frowning.

'So what does tubocurarine do, then?'

'It antagonises the nicotinic acetylcholine receptors at the neuromuscular junction, thus causing paralysis.'

Alphard bit his lip and still looked confused. Sean chuckled.

'Just read 'Pharmacology for Wizards at a Glance'. It explains it perfectly.'

Alphard tossed his Potions notes aside and flopped dramatically onto his bed.

'It's useless. I don't get sodding Potions. It's too complicated.'

Sean shook his head at Alphard.

'It's not, but you just need to study it a bit before it clicks.'

'I hate subjects like that,' Alphard said moodily.

'Why the sudden interest in Potions, anyway?' Sean said curiously, picking up Alphard's class notes. 'Your notes are terrible, by the way. What do you _do_ in class?'

Alphard stood up and snatched back his notes.

'It's not my fault,' he snapped haughtily. 'I'm too distracted in Potions classes.'

Sean laughed.

'Ah, _Selene_. I see…'

'No,' Alphard said morosely. 'You don't. She has no right to do this to me!'

'Do _what_, exactly?' Sean frowned.

Alphard pursed his lips and then suddenly sat up, his eyes flashing with annoyance.

'She just… how _dare _she sit next to me every class looking so damned alluring with her long hair which she's alway twirling seductively whilst she writes, and then her damned red lips which she's always licking and pouting… does she _want_ to kill me?'

Sean frowned.

'But… does she talk to you?'

Alphard tugged at his hair, his grey eyes looking possessed.

'No!' he groaned. 'She just ignores me! She'll give me a quick smile at the start and end of class- which, I might add, is just downright _heartless_ of her because when she smiles at me, my mind goes completely blank- and then simply ignores me for the rest of the class. In practical classes, she just orders me around and that's even worse because then I start having these sordid fantasies which involve whips and leather and her ordering me to…'

'I get the picture,' Sean interrupted hastily, looking perturbed. 'So you're studying Potions because you want to impress her?'

Alphard nodded hopelessly.

'Yes, but it's useless because my brain turns to mush whenever I'm looking at her. I feel like I never have anything intelligent to say her when I see her.'

Sean grinned and shook his head at Alphard as he went to their 'special drawer'. He took out cigarette paper, rolled out a joint, and lit it.

'Here. I think you need this,' he said, handing Alphard the joint.

'Cheers,' Alphard said, taking it and sucking from it desperately.

'Oi! Steady up there!' Sean said, worried at how quickly Alphard was puffing on the joint.

Alphard suddenly started spluttering and coughing from the excess smoke and Sean sighed and patted him on the back.

'Here, I think you'd better give me that,' he said, taking the joint back from Alphard. 'Now, what are we going to do about your situation? If you keep taking such terrible notes, you'll fail the year.'

'I know, Alphard said morosely. 'Can you talk to her for me?' he asked, looking at Sean hopefully.

'Talk to her?' Sean said, confused. 'What do you want me to tell her, exactly?'

'Tell her that she's driving your best friend to desperation with her womanish wiles and that you'd appreciate it very much if she started behaving more modestly in classes.'

'Alphie,' Sean laughed, shaking his head. 'You know I can't tell her that.'

'You can!' Alphard exclaimed, his eyes flashing wildly. 'And tell her to stop looking so beautiful all the time. Also ask her to look as _unattractive_ as she possibly can during Potions classes… though I doubt this will help, as I doubt she could ever look unattractive,' Alphard added morosely.

Sean rolled his eyes.

'Alphie, I think all this study has made you delirious. Go to sleep, you're sprouting nonsense.'

Alphard pouted and Sean sighed at how casually good looking his friend was. Sometimes, he wished he could have the talk Alphard wanted him to have with Selene, with Alphard; because, despite Alphard's melodrama, he understood exactly how he felt.

And it would certainly make his life much easier if he didn't feel the urge to snog his best friend whenever he simply grinned at him.

* * *

Selene was having a very trying day. Firstly, Sean had tried to tell convince her that she should make herself look 'less attractive' during Potions classes. She was so shocked at the stupidity of the request that she only came up with a witty and tart response to his request once he was already walking away.

Secondly, she actually _had_ potions and Alphard kept passing her notes requesting that they meet. Naturally, she ignored them and reminded him in a rushed whisper, on her way out, of their agreement. This was terrible, as she herself found it hard to keep from snogging him then and there as he looked at her with his unusually grey, forlorn eyes.

Thirdly, a third year Gryffindor boy had an accidental mix up between his permanent sticking glue and his lubricant. This resulted in her witnessing a scene involving a Playwitch magazine, the boy's right hand, and his genitals which Selene would much rather forget, but was so horrific that it was now emblazoned upon her memory forever.

As though her day had not been trying enough up until this point, she was forced to wrap it up with a meeting with the Headmaster and Tom.

For the first hour of the meeting, Selene had found it terribly difficult to stay awake. She really had. There was just something about the way Dippet spoke that made her have longing thoughts of her bed, only a few hundred metres away…

But, eventually, her prayers were answered. She wasn't sure how he managed it, but Dippet eventually actually said something interesting for a pleasant change—

'Finally, it has come to our attention,' Headmaster Dippet said seriously, 'That a student has gone missing.'

Selene's eyes widened and sat forward, her intrigue getting the better of her.

'Student? Who?' she breathed.

Tom became very still as he waited for her name to be stated.

'Morticia Levine.'

Selene shivered.

'Slytherin girl, our year?'

Dippet nodded and Selene shivered again.

'But… when did she disappear,' she frowned.

Dippet sighed heavily.

'Her parents saw her off on the train, and her friends said that she had sat with them for the most part of the journey on the train. She apparently excused herself for the bathroom, and never returned. No one spotted her leaving the train, and she has not been seen around the school.'

Selene swallowed, feeling her blood running cold.

'But what could have happened?' she whispered.

Dippet ran a hand wearily through his white hair, and it was then that Selene noticed just how exhausted her Headmaster looked. She suddenly felt guilty for being so inattentive.

'The 'Missing Magical Beings' unit of the Ministry is investigating the disappearance. Her parents have asked that her disappearance not be broadcasted, but I thought, as School Heads, that you should be informed of this disappearance.'

Dippet then smiled kindly at Tom, who was gazing out the window with his eyes narrowed and lips pursed.

'I understand that Morticia was a friend of yours, Tom. Please understand that Madam Nosscomb is available for counselling should you find the news of Morticia's disappearance too overwhelming.'

Tom nodded jerkily.

'Thank you, sir,' he said softly, avoiding Selene's gaze as she suddenly started staring at him.

'Very well, then,' Dippet sighed. 'You may leave. That is all I had to discuss. I shall send an owl round for our next meeting.'

Tom rose suddenly from his chair and made his way for the door, trying to escape what he knew would be an inevitable confrontation by that worthless mudblood.

'Tom!' she said severely as they reached the landing of the staircase.

He ignored her and clenched his fists as he heard her running up to him.

'You know something,' she said, her voice hard. 'You know something about Morticia.'

He rounded on her, his eyes flashing menacingly, and he almost smiled as he saw her flinching.

'Why do I know something, Selene?' he whispered to her icily. 'Because I took her to that ridiculous Yule Ball?'

Selene watched him warily, her hazel eyes wide with fear.

'Tom,' she said, her voice wavering. 'You… I've never seen you so still- so reserved- as you were when Dippet told us. It was unnatural. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.'

Tom rolled his eyes and began walking again. Selene followed him.

'Tom, please,' she said quietly, grabbing his wrist.

He became very still, not moving lest he do something rash and kill her as quickly as he did Morticia.

'Let go of me,' he said through gritted teeth.

She quickly let go of his wrist and crossed her arms.

'You scare me,' she said quietly.

He looked up at her and smirked, but then faltered as he realised that he saw no fear in her eyes as she looked at him. Only disappointment.

He looked away, feeling his hatred for her boiling again.

'You don't scare me in the nightmare way,' she continued.

Her voice was so soft that he couldn't help but looking into her hazel eyes which were looking at him earnestly; with _concern._

'—I don't get shivers standing next to you. You scare me in a different way—I'm scared of what you'll become if you continue on in this way. Tom, you're a brilliant wizard. I've never admitted it, but you are. You're so clever and talented… but you put it to such terrible use! Why, Tom? Why?'

The way she kept repeating his name grated on his nerves and he despised her naivety- how she thought that she was important enough to him to be of any influence.

He whipped out his wand and held it to her jugular.

'You listen to me, mudblood, because I'm only going to give you this last chance.'

Selene looked down sadly.

'Tom, I remember a time when you would use my name- a time before you even knew what a 'mudblood' even was. Why are you like this?'

He pressed his wand even deeper against her neck and she flinched a little.

'Leave. Me. Alone,' he whispered dangerously. 'Forget whatever 'soul-saving' notions that you've learnt from our time at the orphanage, forget whatever ludicrous image you've built up of me… just _forget_ about me. Is that so hard to understand? Are you that incompetent that one simple task of ignoring me can be so difficult to carry through?' he spat.

Selene smiled painfully.

'I've forgiven you time and time again,' she whispered, her eyes becoming glassy with tears. 'I've forgiven you for leaving me in the middle of the ocean for dead, for nearly torturing me to death to 'prove' yourself to your stupid friends, for your name calling, for your lack of respect… even for what you did to me at the orphanage. And yet I'd never even consider forgiving anyone else for simply calling me a mudblood. Does my faith mean nothing to you?'

Tom's nostrils flared.

'You're a fool. Nothing but a mudblood fool, whoring yourself for…'

'Tom,' she interrupted. 'That doesn't even make sense. Why can't you ever give me a reason for the way you are? All you do whenever I question your actions is call me a 'worthless mudblood whore'. But that doesn't answer anything, Tom. It's just a way of you continuing to live in denial.'

Tom snarled, but was interrupted—

'Get your hands off her. Now.'

Selene's eyes widened with fright as she saw Alphard standing behind Tom, his face contorted in fury.

'Alphie, don't…' she tried hopelessly.

Tom laughed coldly and turned to face Alphard. His eyes flashed manically and Selene quickly got out her wand.

'Alphard Black,' Tom said quietly. 'The blood traitor of the Black family. I wonder what your parents would think of your fraternising with this worthless mudblood whore.'

Alphard's wand was out in an instant, and he pointed it menacingly at Tom.

'Take that back,' he growled.

Tom laughed coldly.

'Oh, but she's used to it, aren't you little mudblood?' he said, smiling coldly at Selene.

Selene shivered.

'That's enough,' she interrupted shakily. 'Alphard, Tom… the both of you put your wands away, and we'll all go our separate…'

'Take it back, now, or else I'll hex you back to your Common Room,' Alphard said menacingly.

'I'd like to see that,' Tom said, smiling.

Selene's blood ran cold as she saw it all happening in slow motion; Alphard moving his wand, Tom lazily flicking his own, Alphard's curse blasting back at him and hitting him squarely in the chest…

Alphard groaned from where he lay on the ground in a crumpled heap. Tom laughed coldly as he approached him slowly.

'She's a mudblood slut, and you're whoring your noble blood by fraternising with her,' he said slowly.

'You…' Alphard groaned.

'Ah, I think your lesson is not quite learned yet,' Tom said, clicking his tongue.

Selene saw him raising his wand, and reacted in an instant.

'Expelliarmus!' she cried, disarming Tom before he could torture Alphard any further.

Tom rounded on Selene and she held out his wand to him.

'Take it and go,' she said shakily. 'Your duel is over- you've won. Congratulations- now leave,' she said desperately.

Tom smirked.

'Are you afraid that I might hurt your lover?' he said, raising his eyebrows.

Selene shivered.

'You've proven your point, Tom,' she said severely. 'I won't allow you to continue further with this nonsense. Now leave! Please!'

Tom smirked, took his wand, and went to leave, but then paused.

'He really is pathetic,' he mused. 'He certainly puts his noble blood to shame.'

Selene merely stared at Tom coldly, and he shrugged and walked off around the corner. Selene waited until he had disappeared before looking to Alphard. As she saw Alphard sprawled on the ground, she saw some truth in what Tom had just said- about how pathetic it had been that he could not even survive one exchange of hexes…

Her eyes widened with shame as she realised how terrible it was that she could even think to agree with Tom, and she rushed to Alphard's side and turned him over so that his head was rested on her knees.

'You silly boy,' she whispered, using her handkerchief to wipe the blood from the corner of his mouth. 'I told you that you should never duel Tom.'

Alphard coughed and she felt her heart grow even warmer towards him—he was hurt, because he had fought to defend her honour.

She bent over and kissed his forehead. He chuckled softly.

'That's not where it hurts,' he said weakly.

She laughed weakly and quickly wiped her eyes.

'You silly, silly boy,' she repeated. 'What were you thinking?'

'He had his wand at your throat!' Alphard said, as he sat up unsteadily, and Selene helped him to stand. They made their way to an empty classroom and Selene sat him down on the teacher's front desk.

'I… thank you,' she said, not wanting to sound ungracious, 'but from now on- don't interrupt if you see that with Tom and I. It's… he's never really hurt me,' she lied. 'But he won't hesitate to prove that he can hurt anyone else very much.'

She only lied, because she knew that she stood a chance of defending herself against Tom. She knew his methods too well, but the likes of Alphard had no idea.

Alphard said nothing but merely pursed his lips, and it was then that Selene realised that his pride had been injured more than anything else.

She leant forward and kissed his cheek.

'Thank you,' she said quietly.

Alphard still avoided her eyes and she bit her lip, unsure how to remedy the situation.

'Is there anywhere you'd like me to kiss better?' she asked tentatively.

Alphard shook his head, his lips still pursed and she sighed and turned his face to hers. Without a moment's hesitation, she kissed his lips softly.

'Still sulking?' she whispered.

Alphard went to pull away, and Selene felt the stinging edge of rejection.

'Are you… are you angry with me?' she said, feeling hurt overwhelming her.

Alphard looked up at her suddenly, his eyes wide.

'No, of course not!' he said, cupping her cheek.

Selene shrugged it off her and walked to the door.

'You know, Alphard,' she said sadly. 'You didn't need to win a duel with Tom to prove to me that you're the bigger man. You already proved that to me when you told him to take back his words about me. Forget that- Tom had already proved himself to be the lesser man when he turned his wand on me. What kind of man does that?'

Alphard blushed and looked at his hands.

'I'll tell you,' Selene said angrily. 'A _weak _man. For all his magical talent, Tom is a sad, weak excuse for a man who will exploit whatever is weaker than him- or more forgiving- to get his power fix.'

Alphard suddenly looked up at Selene—

'You forgive him so easily for doing such terrible things to you, and yet you refused to even look at me for months after what happened with Malkin,' he accused.

Selene's cheeks burned and she looked away from Alphard's eyes.

'You don't understand.'

'Is it some sick kind of love you have for him? Do you fancy _Tom_? Is that why you refuse to go out with me?'

Selene's face contorted in fury.

'I already told you,' she shouted at him. 'You don't understand. Stop assuming things. You're such a conceited, stupid, arrogant git to think that that would be the reason for my not going out with you. You know the real reason…'

Alphard scoffed and Selene glared at him.

'If you can't understand the fact that I care for my friend as much as I would a sister, then I want nothing to do with you,' she said coldly, turning and making her way to the door.

Alphard laughed sarcastically.

'Sure. And the next time I see Tom pulling his wand on you, I won't interrupt. Maybe that's why you were so angry at my interrupting- because you wanted his wand _in _you!'

Selene's eyes widened with such uncontrollable fury that she barely even registered whispering the words of the curse she sent his way…

--

'Miss Asteria, do you understand why you have been called in to see me?' Dumbledore said gravely.

Selene nodded grimly.

'Yes.'

'This is the second time you have attacked a student- namely, Alphard Black.'

'He deserved it and much, much more,' she hissed.

'Would you mind enlightening me on the circumstances?' Dumbledore said lightly.

Selene shook her head.

'No. I don't wish to. It'll just infuriate me again.'

Dumbledore sighed.

'For some reason, Mr Black seems to be very forgiving of you and is taking the blame for the situation. He says that he is at fault.'

Selene let out a bark of a laugh.

'Oh _there's_ a change! He's admitting that he's wrong. Well, he deserved what he got, as he said, and I shall maintain this to my death bed.'

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled ever so slightly at this, but he cleared his throat practically.

'You understand that you will be receiving detentions for a month?'

'Yes,' Selene shrugged nonchalantly.

'And that another such incident may result in the loss of your badge?'

Selene looked up in shock.

'Wh…what?' she spluttered.

Dumbledore sighed.

'Now, Selene, you must understand that such behaviour is unacceptable from a Head. It sets a terrible example. My advice is that you keep your temper in check—especially around Mr Black—in the future.'

Selene sighed and got up.

'Thank you, sir,' she said reluctantly, getting up.

'And, before you leave, Mr Black asked that I give you this note,' Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling.

Selene raised her eyebrows, but took the parchment nonetheless.

'That is all. The visiting hours in the Hospital Wing end at 9pm,' Dumbledore added.

Selene shot him an incredulous look- he was assuming that she would visit Alphard in the hospital wing after she _sent _him there?- and left the office.

--

After two hours of staring at the parchment, Selene finally gave in and unrolled it just as Malkin and the other girls had left for dinner—

_I'm sorry, I really am. I should never have said that to you, it was completely and utterly disgraceful of me. I don't deserve it, but please forgive me._

_Love, Alphard._

'Dumbledore, you snoop!' Selene cursed, annoyed that Dumbledore had both read her mail, and predicted her so easily.

Sighing, she quickly grabbed her cloak as she set off for the Hospital Wing, with all thoughts of dinner forgotten.

* * *

**Woah! Long chapter. It took a while for me to finally sit down and type this. Once I did, though, it all came out so quickly!**

**And I hope you're enjoying the new chapter titles, derived from the plays of the wonderful Shakespeare.**

**Now, I have a quote for you-**

'I have something that can cheer you up.'- Florean to Malkin

And…

'The School Duelling Contest is approaching' – Dumbledore

**And a bit of a hospital scene...**

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. Reviews really do mean a lot to me, and I appreciate every single one. **

**So press that button right now and send more my way.**

**(please- must remember to be polite!)**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	20. Chapter 20: Most Disloyal Traitor

"_**But, like in sickness, did I loathe this food;**__**  
**__**But, as in health, come to my natural taste,**__**  
**__**Now I do wish it, love it, long for it,**__**  
**__**And will for evermore be true to it." **_

_**- **_**'****A Midsummer Night's Dream'**** – W. Shakespeare**

* * *

**Most Disloyal Traitor**

'I came as soon as I heard,' Sean said breathlessly, running to be by Alphard's side.

Alphard grimaced painfully.

'What happened? Who did this to you?' Sean said, his brow furrowing in anger.

'She's one feisty girl, that Selene Asteria,' Alphard chuckled weakly.

'_She_ did this to you!' Sean roared, standing up in his anger.

'Sit down, sit down,' Alphard said, shaking his head at Sean. 'I deserved this and much worse. I'm actually more sore from what Riddle did to me, than what Selene did. She sort of just _worsened _my condition.'

'Riddle?' Sean breathed. 'What does he have to do with this?'

Alphard glowered.

'He was threatening Selene, and I duelled him… and lost rather spectacularly.'

'And so she proceeded to hex you to the Hospital Wing?' Sean said incredulously.

'I may or may not have said something terribly rude and inappropriate to her,' Alphard said lightly, picking at his covers. 'Which is why I need you to find her for me.'

'I certainly will not be finding that ungrateful wench,' Sean said haughtily. 'Whilst she may be pretty, you can find someone better, Alphie. She's not even of your social standing. What would your family think.'

Alphard's features darkened.

'Don't speak of her in that manner,' he said angrily. 'You sound like Riddle.'

'Well perhaps Riddle has a point,' Sean muttered.

Alphard pursed his lips, but then sighed.

'Ah, Sean, don't be like that. She's an angel, she really is. It was my fault. My pride was injured, and I snapped at her and said something very terrible. She had every right to curse me.'

Sean did not look convinced and Alphard patted his shoulder.

'Thanks for coming, mate,' he said. 'It's so damn lonely in this Hospital Wing.'

Sean went to respond, but was interrupted as the door opened and Selene sidled into the room.

'What are _you_ doing here?' Sean growled. 'Here to finish him off?'

Selene's face blanched.

'I…no…I…'

She looked to Alphard and saw that he was watching her half hopefully, half fearfully.

'I got your note,' she muttered dejectedly, fixing her gaze on the white floor of the hospital wing.

Alphard smiled in relief and then turned to Sean.

'Hey, Sean, could you give us a minute?'

Sean stared at Alphard, the hurt of his betrayal slicing through him.

'You… your sending _me _out for that… that…'

Alphard's expression silenced Sean in an instant and, without another word, Sean swept out of the Hospital Wing. As he did so, he knocked by Selene roughly, but didn't stop to apologise.

Selene looked startled.

'Did… did I do something to him? I swear, I've only spoken to him a few times in my life!'

Alphard sighed.

'No, he's just a bit angry with you for…er… teaching my my lesson.'

Selene frowned.

'But surely if _you_ have forgiven me, then why is _he _still angry?'

Alphard shrugged.

'I don't know. He gets a bit touchy when it comes to girls, Sean does. I don't get it. Forget him.'

Selene bit her lip and sat tentatively on the edge of Alphard's bed.

'I don't want him to be angry with him. Will you say something to him for me?'

Alphard smiled.

'I'm constantly telling him how wonderful you are,' he said, sitting up to be closer to Selene. 'So I don't think it'll make that much difference.'

'Well tell him I apologise for whatever wrong I've unknowingly done him,' Selene said.

Alphard shrugged, and they both sat in silence for a while.

'So… you came,' Alphard said eventually.

Selene nodded slowly.

'Yes. But I'm still angry at what you said to me.'

'I know.'

'It was totally uncalled for. Absolutely not gentleman-like, and downright rude. When have I ever spoken to you in such a manner?'

'When you were angry with me about Malkin?'

Selene shook her head seriously.

'No. I never said anything as rude as that,' she said.

Alphard sighed and ran a hand through his shiny, black hair.

'I know, I know. I'm sorry from the bottom of my heart. I truly am. I regretted it the instant I'd said it. I was still angry at Riddle, and was taking it out on you. You didn't deserve it at all.'

'No woman deserves to be spoken to in that way. Do not respect me?'

Alphard shook his head emphatically.

'On the contrary, my dear, I have a huge respect for you. Forgive a momentary lapse in judgement? I swear it shall never happen again.'

Selene pursed her lips.

'Providing that I never hear such vile language from your lips, directed at me, you are forgiven,' she said stiffly.

Alphard grinned, and even Selene's lips twitched.

'So…'

'So…' Selene stammered, in response, feeling the heat creeping up her neck at the tension between them.

'You still came,' Alphard said slowly, taking her hand which was placed next to his.

She traced her thumb slowly over his knuckles.

'I…did,' she said, defeated. 'I felt a little bit bad, myself.'

Alphard's lips twitched.

'Well, I know a way we can both make up for it?'

Selene raised an eyebrow.

'Does it involve me kissing something better?' she said ironically.

Alphard chuckled, and inched closer to her.

'How did you know?' he whispered.

'I'm an excellent mind-reader,' Selene said, flinching a little as she thought of Tom.

'What?' Alphard said, noticing her wince.

Selene shook her head quickly and kissed Alphard's lips softly.

'Nothing,' she whispered against his lips. 'But I have to leave now.'

Alphard's eyes widened and his grip on her arms tightened.

'But you just came!'

Selene bit her lip and he sighed as he saw the conflict in her eyes.

'Well… at least tell me this,' he said quietly.

Selene looked up at his eyes and he couldn't help kissing her red lips again, softly. She let out a faint sigh.

'Do you, or rather- if we didn't have to worry about anyone else, would you…would you stay?'

Selene stared into his eyes and nodded.

'Yes,' she whispered, swallowing thickly.

Alphard smiled ruefully, and let go of her arms.

'That's all I needed to know,' he said, looking away.

Selene stood up from the bed reluctantly and paused before kissing his cheek.

'I'm sorry for putting you in here. I hope you get better soon.'

Alphard shrugged.

'I should be out by Potions tomorrow. I just want to miss the Charms test tomorrow morning, so I'll probably make a miraculous recovery immediately after that period is over.'

Selene laughed softly.

'You're terrible,' she smiled, shaking her head at him.

'I wish I could say the same for you, but you're too perfect,' Alphard said.

Selene rolled her eyes.

'I see they've given you a little too much pain potion. I'll see you tomorrow, Alphard,' she said, going to the door.

'Alphie.'

Selene paused.

'Pardon?'

'Alphie. I already told you- only those who aren't close to me call me 'Alphard'. Some call me 'Alphie' without my permission, though… but I don't count them because I usually infuriate them so that they end up simply calling me 'Black'.'

Selene shook her head at Alphard, unable to suppress her smile.

'In that case, good evening, _Alphie_, and I'll see you in Potions, tomorrow,' she said, nodding to him as she left the Hospital Wing.

* * *

Sean had never experienced jealousy of this kind with any of Alphard's other love interests. He assumed this was because he had always known that Alphard did not truly care for them.

But that Asteria girl was different. Alphard had chosen _her_ over him- his best friend!

Sean clenched his fists which were trembling with rage as he headed for the Gryffindor Portrait. He did not have to wait long to see her—

'Oh, Malkin! There you are!'

Malkin frowned as she saw him.

'I'm sorry… Sean, isn't it?' she said, looking confused.

Sean nodded.

'Yes. I was wondering if I could have a minute. I think there's something you should know.'

--

Malkin stared at him silently for a few moments, and then stood up angrily.

'Why did you tell me?' she snapped.

Sean was surprised by her reaction.

'I thought you'd want to know- you know, seeing as she's meant to be your friend and all.'

Malkin covered her ears and screwed her eyes tightly shut.

'No! No, I was happier not knowing. If she kept it secret, then she must have done so for a reason, don't you think?' she shouted at Sean.

'But…'

'You conniving little snake! You did this because you're jealous that she's taken the heart of your best friend. And so what did you do? You chose to hurt _me_ by telling me! How _dare_ you? You have _no _idea what I've gone through these past six months to get better, and yet you were happy to let me slide back into that so long as you get your darling _Alphie_ back. Get out of my sight!'

Sean stared at her, nonplussed.

'But surely you can see that we're both victims here,' he tried to reason.

Malkin laughed acidly.

'Victims? Of what? Their being attracted to each other? The last I heard, attraction isn't a crime. They've done nothing wrong, and if you think that I'm going to chose your pathetic side over hers, then you have another thing coming!' Malkin fumed, striding to the door and slamming it behind her.

She stormed all the way back to the dormitory and locked herself in the bathroom. As soon as she was leaning over the sink, she burst into sobs.

She knew that she had no right to be upset at Selene- because she herself had done the same thing- but it still hurt that Alphard loved Selene, but only used _her_ for sex.

With shaking hands, she went to her makeup purse and unstitched the lining of the case to reveal the singular pill of Vice which she had abstained from for six months.

She picked it up and looked at it through her blurry vision.

With a scream, she threw it in the toilet, quickly flushed it lest she change her mind, and ran out of the bathroom.

'Florean!' she beamed, happy to see a friendly, familiar face. 'You're…you're…studying! How lovely! Can I join you!' she gasped desperately, wiping quickly at her tears.

'Malkin, what happened?' he whispered, his eyes becoming wide with concern.

'I…I…'

Florean bit his lip and stood up, extending a hand to her.

'Let's go. I have something that can cheer you up.'

--

'Go on, eat it,' Florean said encouragingly, pushing the sundae closer towards Malkin.

Malkin looked at it apprehensively.

'Do you know how many kilojoules this has?' she asked, wrinkling her nose as she noticed how much chocolate fudge topping there was.

Florean shrugged.

'Who cares? Life's so short- why would you waste it counting petty kilojoules when there are amazing flavours to be tasted?'

Malkin's eyes widened and, without any further prompting, she quickly took the spoon and plunged it into the sundae.

She became so still after she had tasted the first spoonful that Florean was afraid that she had fainted from a sugar overdose- as silly as the concept sounded.

'Malkin?' he asked tentatively.

Malkin shook her head slightly and, a few seconds later, opened her eyes dreamily.

'That…that's what I've been missing,' she said, eating another spoonful. 'This…' she said between chocolatey mouthfuls, 'Is living!'

Florean smiled and sat opposite her.

'Some people with anorexia abstain from food as a means of punishing themselves,' he said quietly.

Malkin looked up at him.

'How do you know?' she frowned, continuing to eat the sundae at a frightful pace.

Florean shrugged.

'I was overweight as child.'

Malkin scoffed incredulously.

'You're almost scrawny- no offence. There's no way…'

'You're not the only one to have suffered from an eating disorder,' Florean said quietly, looking at his hands.

Malkin dropped her spoon in shock.

'You…you… you were anorexic?'

'For a bit, but then it was too hard. I'd eat food when I was upset, so when the kids at my muggle primary school would tease me for being overweight, I'd come home and clear out the pantry. So I ended up becoming bulimic.'

Malkin continued to stare at Florean, who laughed bitterly.

'I lost a lot of weight, but then it became dangerous. My teeth started rotting, and then I stopped being bulimic and became anorexic again to save my teeth. I'm sure my parents noticed something, but it's so rare in males, that they thought I was merely watching my weight. They didn't stop to think that, perhaps, something wasn't right.'

'But…but are you okay, now?' Malkin whispered.

Florean gave a small smile.

'Yes, and no. It's not something that I think we'll ever get over. It'll always be a part of us- we'll always be conscious of whatever we eat…'

Malkin looked down at the sundae and pushed it away from her, looking repulsed. Florean chuckled and took the spoon and ate a bit from the sundae.

'But, for now, I'm okay. And I want you to be okay as well.'

Malkin smiled tentatively.

'Thank you. For caring. It means a lot, and I'm sorry that I've been so rude to you in the past.'

Florean smiled at her and pushed the sundae back towards her.

'So… how did you get over it?' she asked.

'I woke up, one day, and the sun was shining so beautifully, and the sky was so blue. It was so beautiful, and we hadn't had such a beautiful day in so long. I was fifteen, and I remember sitting outside, and lying on the grass. The sun was so warm that I didn't feel cold anymore, but very hungry. I felt like I just wanted to be happy again.'

'So what happened?'

'I went to my nonna's. She's an excellent cook. I asked her if I could cook with her. I wanted to make my first proper meal- to be proud of it- so we cooked together.'

'What was it?'

'Jut a simple gnocchi with Napoli sauce. But I'll never forget that first mouthful. It was as though…'

'Waking from a nightmare?' Malkin finished for him.

Florean nodded.

'Yes. So… after then, I decided to cook all the family meals, and cook as much as I could. I didn't want to waste eating on tasteless food, but on rich, aromatic flavours. I sort of became obsessed with cooking, and decided that if I was going to eat anything, it had to taste wonderful.'

Malkin bit her lip.

'Can you… can you cook for me sometime?' she asked meekly.

Florean grinned.

'What are you doing on Friday night?'

* * *

Selene walked into the dormitory to find Malkin lying on her bed, giggling to herself.

'Malkin?' Selene frowned, worried that her friend had got her hands on some Vice again. 'What's wrong? What happened?'

Malkin sat up suddenly and bit her lip guiltily.

'I was laughing about something Florean told me,' she said, her lips twitching again. 'He's really funny!'

Selene watched Malkin warily.

'Florean? You two are friends, now?'

Malkin nodded and couldn't help her smile.

'He…he asked me on a date on Friday night,' she whispered, blushing.

Selene raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

'And you… you accepted him?'

Malkin nodded happily.

'We have a lot in common,' she sighed happily. 'And he makes the most amazing sundaes ever.'

'You… you ate a sundae?' Selene said, blinking in surprised.

Malkin closed her eyes dreamily.

'It was amazing!'

'That's…wonderful!' Selene said slowly.

Malkin shrugged happily and went over to Selene's bed and sat next to her.

'So, I think there's something we both need to get out there about that Black.'

Selene froze.

'Wh…what?'

'Sean told me,' Malkin sighed. 'He was upset at you for stealing his best friend, or some rubbish like that, and came and told me how you and Alphard have been having a 'sort-of-thing' which you're both fighting, but keeps happening anyway. Is it true?'

Selene put her face in her hands.

'I'm so sorry, Malkin!' she groaned. 'I kept trying to push him away. I did! We're not together… we just sometimes slip up…'

Malkin laughed.

'It's okay, Selene. I wasn't angry at you- I was angry at Sean for trying to sabotage my recovery.'

Selene looked up at Malkin uncertainly.

'You…you're not angry?' she stammered.

Malkin shook her head.

'How could I be, when I kept my thing with him a secret? And the fact that you've tried to push him away because of me is more than one would have expected of a friend, anyway.'

Selene bit her lip guiltily.

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be. You two would be good together. Anyway, I'm _completely_ over him, now.'

'Because of Florean?' Selene said, still in disbelief about the entire pairing.

Malkin blushed again and Selene sighed. She couldn't help feeling relief flooding her as she realised that she no longer held any secrets from her best friend, despite the fact that she was apprehensive of how Malkin's new relationship with Florean would go.

* * *

Selene was very nervous the next day, as she waited for Potions to arrive. She knew that she would have to tell Alphard that Malkin knew, but was then apprehensive of what would happen between them as soon as she no longer had the excuse of Malkin to fall back on whenever things between them became too intense.

She froze when she saw him entering the classroom.

'Are you okay?' he whispered. 'You look like you've seen a ghost.'

Selene opened their Potions workbook with shaking hands.

'I'm fine,' she said abruptly. 'I've just got a lot on my plate.'

Alphard glanced at Malkin, who smiled at him and nodded towards Selene's turned back.

Alphard turned around again, feeling very confused.

'Selene, is there a reason why Malkin smiled at me, and then hinted that I approach you, just now?'

Selene brought the chopping knife down on the bezoar stone with a bang, and Alphard jumped back a little.

'She knows,' she said abruptly.

Alphard's eyes widened.

'H…how?' he breathed. 'Did you tell her?'

'Ha!' Selene said, bringing the knife down again, causing Alphard to flinch. 'Why don't you ask your best friend?'

'Sean?'

She brought the knife down again, and Alphard tentatively moved in and took it off her.

'I think that you've sufficiently demolished that bezoar stone. How about you just…stir, for today,' he said warily.

Selene snatched the knife off him again.

'_You_ stir. You're the one who's terrible at Potions.'

Alphard sighed patiently and set to stirring their cauldron.

'Are you sure that Sean—'

'Yes. I don't want to discuss it.'

Alphard let out a low whistle.

'How did she take it?'

Selene laughed sarcastically.

'Wonderfully! She's in love with Florean, now, so she gives us her full blessing!'

Alphard cleared his throat.

'She… she does?' he said in disbelief.

'Yes,' she said brusquely, getting out a hangled joar, and chopping it just as roughly as their bezoar.

'Woah, woah, calm down there—'

Selene pointed the knife at him, her eyes flashing.

'I'm having a very trying day, today, so watch it,' she snapped.

Alphard stepped back quickly.

'I…uh…okay,' he said hastily.

They continued to work in silence for the rest of the lesson.

'Well, I suppose that I'll see you—'

'Next Potions class?' Selene offered haughtily.

'Right, yes, right,' Alphard said, his shoulders slumping in disappointment.

They both jumped as they heard a throat being cleared at their desk, and looked up to see Tom Riddle, watching them with his usual air of disapproval.

'We have a Head's meeting in five minutes. Don't be late,' he said brusquely to Selene, before sweeping out of the Dungeons.

'Selene…' Alphard said carefully, looking frightened as he noticed her face turning a very angry shade of red.

--

'I'm sorry,' she apologised, again.

'It's okay,' Alphard sighed as they both continued to mop up the potion which Selene had caused to spontaneously explode.

'I really am. I don't know why I've been so angry today.'

'It's fine. Really, I'll just buy new school robes. My parents have heaps of money, so it's not an issue.'

Selene stopped mopping and stared at Alphard guiltily.

'I ruined your robes?'

He shrugged.

'It's okay. There are just a few holes. It's fine, no big deal.'

'I…I can sew them up if you like,' Selene said, her voice shaking guiltily.

Alphard laughed at her.

'Really, Selene, it's fine. You don't need to sew my robes, and you don't need to keep apologising.'

Selene went to the teacher's front desk and sat there, looking miserable.

'Just stand back, I'll use magic to clean it,' she said.

'Are you sure….'

With a flick of her wand, the room was spotless.

'That's a good idea,' Alphard finished, smiling as he realised he no longer had to mop their spilt potion anymore.

Selene chewed her bottom lip guiltily, and he came up to where she was sitting, and sat next to her on the desk.

'Don't worry. It's fine.'

Selene sighed and lay her head on his shoulder. His breath caught, but then quickly proceeded to hug her to him.

He kissed her forehead.

'So Malkin knows, now?'

'Yes,' Selene sighed.

'And she took it well?'

'Somehow… yes, she did.'

'Wow.'

'I know.'

Alphard took Selene's hand and she interlaced her fingers with his.

'So where are we at, now?'

'I don't know, Mr Black. Where _are _we now?'

Alphard grinned and she looked up at him. He leant forward and kissed her tentatively, and then more forcefully as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer to her.

'Oh shoot,' Selene said suddenly, pushing him away.

'Oh no, don't say that,' Alphard sighed. 'I was just thinking how wonderful it was to finally kiss you without having you push me away!'

Selene smiled guiltily and hopped off the desk.

'I forgot- I'm late for my 'Heads' meeting. I'll see you around!'

'Wait!'

Selene paused at the door.

'Yes?'

'Are you free on Friday?'

Selene grinned.

'I may be,' she said coyly.

'Well check your diary. Friday's a Hogsmeade day, and I'd like to finally take you on a proper date,' he said.

Selene smiled.

'Sounds tempting. I'll check my diary and get back to you,' she said, smiling at him before skipping off.

--

To Selene's pleasant surprise, she was informed by Dippet that she had just missed their meeting, and was given the minutes his 'jotter' quill had taken down from the meeting, to read over.

* * *

The Gryffindors were gathered in the Common room for the monthly House Meeting. 'Anyone with any ability to sew, would be greatly appreciated. We need someone to be in charge of the costumes for our next choir performance,' Elsie Myles, the Gryffindor Choir Captain, announced.

Selene nudged Malkin.

'Maybe you should think about it,' she said.

Malkin turned, looking horrified.

'Put my designs on such frumps!' she said, sounding scandalised. 'Can you imagine how horrible they would look?'

Selene sighed patiently, and the room fell silent as Dumbledore came to the front.

'Now, as your Head of House, I would like to inform you all that the School Duelling Contest is approaching. It shall be held on December 20, and all open to all Seventh Year students.'

Selene's eyes widened.

'Duelling Contest! We can finally participate!'

Malkin looked apprehensive.

'I don't know that I want to. I'll probably be taken out in the first round.'

Selene shook her head at Malkin.

'Come on! It's a school tradition. You have to!'

'Fine!' Malkin said, rolling her eyes. 'Why are _you _so excited?'

Selene bit her lip. She wasn't sure if it was because she had an intense desire to duel Tom and have a good reason for doing so, or because she wanted people to finally realise how just how good she was at magic.

'It'll be fun,' she shrugged simply.

* * *

That evening, Selene left Malkin with Florean and found a spare classroom. She was determined to do well in the Duelling Contest at all costs. She wanted to show Tom, and all his followers, that just because she was muggleborn, she was not the 'worthless mudblood' he had always called her.

Selene gasped as the door to the classroom suddenly opened. She wiped her sweaty brow, and the heavy book she had been levitating using wandless magic, fell to the ground with a loud bang.

'Selene?'

Selene sighed as she saw that it was only Dumbledore.

'Hi Professor. Is something wrong? Did you book this classroom?'

Dumbledore shook his head.

'Miss Asteria, it's a quarter past midnight!'

Selene frowned and checked the clock to see that it was indeed 12.15pm.

'I didn't notice the time, sir. I'm sorry,' she apologised, quickly gathering her books.

Dumbledore nodded.

'Were you using a wand, just now, when you were levitating that book?'

Selene bit her lip. Everyone always seemed to find it so strange when she told them about her ability to use wandless magic, that she was unsure as to whether she should tell the truth or lie.

'No, sir, I was using a wand.'

She looked away uneasily as Dumbledore gazed into her eyes. There was something about the way in which he was watching her that told her that he hadn't believed her.

'Very well, then. Allow me to escort you back to your Common Room,' he said, opening the door for her.

* * *

**I'm so excited for the next chapter. You should be too.**

**It's time for the School Duelling Contest!**

**'Selene Asteria vs. Tom Riddle,' Dumbledore announced.**

**Yes. It's time to put these two head-to-head. **

**So, keep that excitement, review me and I'll see what I can do about getting the chapter to you. Just reminding you that the more reviews I get, the more inclined I am to update...**

**Love, Anya**

**p.s. Those of you who have asked for 'writing advice'- check my anya-violetta LJ (link is on my author's page). I've written a piece on what helps me write.**


	21. Chapter 21: Arm 'gainst Arm

'**Love and hate are such strong words, they also cause so much pain.'

* * *

**

**Arm 'gainst Arm**

Selene quickly downed the rest of her bottled water, and cracked her knuckles.

'Not good enough,' she muttered to herself, walking to the middle of the room and getting her wand at the ready. '_Explosio!'_

The window barely moved and Selene screamed in frustration.

'Stupid, stupid girl!' she seethed at herself. 'Concentrate!'

She thrust her wand at the window and bellowed the incantation again.

Suddenly, the glass shattered into thousands of little shards and Selene smiled and quickly waved her wand again, causing all the shards to reassemble themselves, leaving the window intact.

Selene sighed and picked up the heaviest book she could find and placed it on the floor. Walking to opposite side of the room, she fixed her gaze and all her concentration on the book.

Slowly, it shuddered, and then inched, higher and higher in the air. She then held out a hand, drawing the book closer to her.

The door suddenly opened and Selene looked to the door as Alphard walked in. With her concentration broken, the door fell to the ground, missing Alphard by an inch.

Alphard paused and looked at Selene warily.

'Are you angry at me for some reason?'

Selene took out her handkerchief and wiped her brow.

'No,' she sighed, slumping into a nearby chair. 'You just broke my concentration.'

Alphard walked over to where she was and sat in a chair near her.

'What are you doing here, anyway?'

'Practising,' Selene said, summoning her water bottle.

'For what?'

'The duelling competition, of course! It's on Monday.'

'Oh- about that, 'Alphard said. 'The drawers came out today.'

Selene stood up suddenly.

'They did?'

'Yes. It'll be Ravenclaw students vs Gryffindor students first, and Hufflepuff vs Slytherin.'

Selene bit her lip.

'So there's a chance that we might be against each other,' Alphard said lightly. 'Please go easy on me,' he added weakly.

Selene laughed.

'Don't be ridiculous. It'll be a fair duel.'

'Oh come on! You know that I can't send anything your way, without paying for it later,' Alphard muttered. 'I think it'd just be better that I just close my eyes and bear it.'

Selene rolled her eyes.

'Well why don't we practise now?'

Alphard let out a bark of a laugh.

'Practise? I'm meant to be taking you out to dinner. Come on, let's go.'

Selene crossed her arms.

'Alphie, it's on Monday. Can't we…'

Alphard smiled genially.

'You look hungry. I'm hungry, let's get some food, eh?'

Selene chewed her lip, but then threw her hands up and gathered her books which were sprawled across the classroom.

'You, Alphard Black, are lazy,' she stated as he relieved her of her books and they walked back to the Gryffindor Common Room.

Alphard hung his head in mock shame.

'Alas, tis true. My family don't know what to do with me.'

Selene shook her head at him and took the books off him.

'Wait here, I'll be back in a minute.'

Alphard nodded and leaned against the wall as he waited. He turned when he heard what sounded like Malkin's laugh from behind him.

'You don't have to blindfold me,' she whispered, giggling as Florean lead her through the portrait hole.

'Yes I do. If your other senses are shut out, your sense of taste will be much stronger.'

Malkin giggled again.

'Florean, you're so sweet!' Malkin giggled.

'What the—' Alphard muttered under his breath as he saw Florean leading Malkin away. 'Malkin and _Florean_? She can do…. Ah, you're ready,' Alphard said quickly as he saw Selene standing behind him.

'What were you saying?' she frowned.

'N…nothing. I just saw Malkin with Florean and thought they make a very odd couple.'

Selene smiled happily.

'But they're so _good_ for each other! I'm so happy that they've finally realised this. I know Florean won't hurt Malkin.'

Alphard looked down.

'You mean, he's better than me,' he said quietly.

Selene raised her eyebrows.

'For Malkin, yes. He is,' she said simply.

Alphard looked hurt but Selene merely shrugged.

'Are we going? Otherwise, I can just go practise again.'

Alphard forced a smile and led her down the hallway.

--

They sat in _La Brasserie_. The tables were covered in expensive white cloths with a long candle in the centre. Selene watched Alphard curiously as he spoke to the waiter in fluent French, ordering various things on the menu.

Selene cocked her head a little to the side as she decided that, perhaps, Alphard was smarter than she had always given him credit for. After all, she now knew that he was fluent in three languages- the third being Latin.

No, he wasn't as good at her academically, but most people didn't weren't as preoccupied with beating Tom Riddle as she was, either.

He handed up the menu to the waiter and smiled at Selene.

'You seem to speak French quite well,' she commented.

Alphard shrugged.

'I've been raise to speak it. It's sort of family tradition, seeing as we always go to Southern France for the most of the summer.'

'But you went to Florence.'

'Yeah, for the first month. The rest was spent back in France.'

'Oh.'

Alphard smiled at her and took her hand from across the table.

'So. Our first proper date.'

Selene merely smiled and looked down at her plate.

'Hey, what's wrong?'

Selene shrugged.

'Nothing,' she said simply, still avoiding his eyes.

Alphard leant forward and put a finger under her chin, tilting it gently so that she was forced to look at him.

'What's wrong? I would have thought that you'd be happy with how everything worked out. Malkin being okay with us… and now we're fine to be together, without hiding. I know _I'm_ happy, but you've just avoided seeing me ever since that day. Have I done something to change your mind on me?'

Selene went to speak, but then bit her lip as the waiter brought their food.

'This looks good,' she said quietly, avoiding his eyes again. 'What is it?'

Alphard didn't even glance at the food.

'Please don't change the subject. Something's wrong, and I want to know what it is,' he pressed.

Selene sighed.

'Alphard. I…'

She hesitated and Alphard gave a rueful laugh.

'I'm back to being 'Alphard'?'

'I just… I don't know if we're going to last. We hardly have anything in common!'

Alphard looked down at his plate.

'Just because we don't have things in common, it doesn't mean that we can't find ways to relate to each other. If anything, it should make it better because we can learn of different things and experiences from each other.'

Selene continued to chew her lip nervously and Alphard leaned forward.

'I don't believe that's what was bothering you. What is it?'

Selene gave a nervous laugh.

'I… I've never done this before. I've never been in a relationship with a boy. I don't really know what I'm meant to do. Other girls- they've had their mothers to teach them, or at least sisters or cousins to tell them what to do, but me… I actually don't know how this is all meant to work.'

She laughed nervously again.

'Sorry. It must sound stupid, but I don't like feeling inadequate and, at the moment, I sort of do.'

Alphard laughed.

'That's it?'

Selene frowned.

'Isn't that enough?'

Alphard rolled his eyes and picked up his knife and fork

'Here I was thinking that you'd changed your mind about me or decided that you didn't like me at all!'

'This is just as valid!' Selene said hotly.

Alphard laughed and raised an eyebrow.

'Okay. Here's all you need to know- I'll tell you the same speech my mother gave my sisters.'

Selene blushed.

'Listen more than speak, smile and laugh at everything he says, excuse yourself halfway through the date to powder your nose, don't appear over-intelligent as that'll make him less masculine, he must pay for everything, only offer your hand at the end of the first date, your cheek for the next, and then your lips once he has proposed. On no accounts are you to go to bed with him until you have been married.'

Selene blinked.

'That's it?'

'Oh, and there were a few things about dressing demurely and using formal language. Can't remember the rest. Here, try some of this.'

Selene looked hesitant, but then opened her mouth and ate the food Alphard was offering. She blushed.

'What is it? It's got a very… _strong _flavour.'

'Bouillabaisse. It's a seafood stew.'

'Oh.'

'Anyway, as I was saying,' Alphard continued as they ate. 'That is the advice my mother gave to my sisters. I suppose there could be something to be said for her advice. After all, they both made very favourable matches.'

'But?' Selene pressed.

'Well, I don't think their behaviour had anything to do with it,' Alphard laughed. 'They both married our first cousins, and both marriages were arranged by my parents.'

Selene looked shocked.

'Your first cousins?'

Alphard screwed his nose up.

'For all our 'nobility', us Blacks are a bit crazy. It's because of all the consanguinity- the interbreeding causes negative effects.'

Selene watched him uncertainly and he laughed.

'Oh don't worry. _I'm _fine. My parents are only third cousins, so my side effects are minimal. I was born with a sixth toe, but they fixed that up the day I was born. I haven't noticed any other side effects.'

Selene blinked.

'You… you were born with a sixth toe?'

'Yeah. I can show you the scar if you like, though probably not here,' Alphard added.

'Right,' Selene said slowly.

'Anyway. So as for my mother's advice- as a male- I disagree with a few of the points. I won't deny that the 'hard to get' trick works. The less you give in to us, the more we want you. Not that I'm saying you should only let me kiss your cheek from now on,' Alphard added hastily.

Selene raised her eyebrows.

'But I have issues with the 'dumbing down' and 'laugh at everything' parts. One of the things I love about you is that you're so clever. I know that if I speak with you, I'm not going to have a stupid conversation. Silly, perhaps, but silliness can have an element of wit to it. Stupidity is something else, however, and it's mind-numbing. I can't take it. So, I naturally have problems with girls who dumb themselves down because they think it'll make them more attractive.'

'But… why would that make them attractive?' Selene said, looking indignant. 'Surely it would have the opposite effect.'

Alphard smiled ruefully.

'It's all about the traditional wife being 'seen, but not heard.' According to my family, the wives' roles are to be pretty, and sit and keep the house. Oh, and bear plenty of Black children.'

Selene looked apprehensive, and Alphard laughed at her.

'I think I may have scared you off me altogether now,' he said. 'Just so you know, I'm different to the rest of my family.

'Really,' Selene said, not sounding convinced.

Alphard shrugged.

'Sure. If I wasn't, I'd have been sorted into Slytherin, would call you a terrible name starting with 'm', be best friends with Tom, in Slytherin, and certainly wouldn't be having dinner with you right now.'

'But… if your parents are like that, then why didn't you try making it work with Malkin? I'm sure they'd love her.'

Alphard rolled his eyes.

'Because, in case you hadn't noticed, I try my best to go against my family's ideals, at all costs.'

Selene looked down.

'But, surely, one day you'll realise that they are the most important thing in your life.'

'You're saying that- and it's perfectly understandable that you would- because you've never had a family. Don't get me wrong- most families out there are great! But mine… well, let's just say that unless you agree with their ideals, it's very hard to have any respect for them.'

Selene opened her mouth but Alphard continued.

'Just listen for a bit. Now, my cousins would be quite happy to torture you to death simply because of your blood. My parents were on a committee pushing for muggle-borns to be banned from attending Hogwarts.'

Selene blinked in shock.

'So you see, Selene dear,' Alphard said bitterly, 'I can't respect my family. I can be polite to them, I can smile at the girls they send me down to dinner with- and certainly would never wish ill upon them- but I can't ever like or respect them.'

He bit his lip and looked to Selene.

'So now you understand,' he said simply. 'Now, what shall we get for dessert?'

* * *

Selene felt exhausted as she walked into her dormitory. Dinner had been a draining affair, and then she was tense for the entire walk back to the castle. Somehow, Alphard knew not to try kissing her that night and she was grateful for the distance. She was still unsure as to how she felt about their relationship.

He had left her with a chaste kiss on the cheek.

'Bit late, don't you think?'

Selene smiled and walked across the room and sat at the end of Malkin's bed.

'How was your date with Florean?'

Malkin blushed and giggled guiltily.

'It was wonderful. He blindfolded me and fed me all these different dishes that he made. Selene, that boy can _cook!_'

Selene smiled.

'So I gather that he's helped you regain your appetite?'

Malkin shrugged and laid back on the bed, suffused with happiness.

'You know, I would never have ever considered him as someone I'd date. Before- and this is really terrible of me- I would have thought that he wasn't good enough.'

'And now?'

'And now… I can't think of a nicer, sweeter boy! And he really likes me! I don't understand why, or what he sees in me, but he does.'

'And you like him back?' Selene smiled.

Malkin smiled and giggled again.

'Yes,' she whispered. 'Only… I feel a bit bad about something.'

'What?'

'Well,' Malkin said, 'I went to kiss him, and he moved back a bit at first.'

'Oh,' Selene laughed. 'That's probably because he was nervous. I'm guessing that was his first kiss. He told me he'd never been kissed before.'

Malkin's eyes widened.

'I was his first kiss!' she said, her eyes lighting him with excitement.

She squealed and covered her face with her pillow, before sitting up and looking at Selene seriously.

'What about you, missy? How was _your _date?'

Selene bit her lip and looked away quickly.

'It was okay. He took me to this lovely French restaurant.'

'And?'

Selene shrugged.

'That's it.'

'Oh no. That sounds bad,' Malkin frowned.

Selene chewed her lip.

'I… I just don't know. I'm still unsure about him. He's a perfect gentleman and handsome and all, but… it just feels as though something's missing.'

Malkin's eyes darkened.

'This doesn't have anything to do with Tom, does it? I hope you're not still…'

'Of course not!' Selene interrupted quickly. 'I've told you that I've never liked Tom. I don't understand why you don't believe me…'

She trailed off and cleared her throat quickly.

'Anyway. Enough on that. We have to get up early to practise for the duelling contest on Monday!'

Malkin groaned.

'Don't burst my bubble with 'Duelling Contests'. I was very happy before you brought that topic up.'

Selene laughed and hugged Malkin before going over to her bed.

'Good night, Malkin. I'm happy to see that you're smiling again.'

* * *

Selene and Tom patrolled the corridors silently. They both avoiding speaking to each other at all costs.

Eventually, they arrived at their starting point and, without another word, Selene went to leave.

'Oh, Selene?'

Selene froze, and turned slowly to see Tom smirking at her.

'I suggest you get out of the Tournament tomorrow before you have to face Slytherin. If you're set to duel me, you'll surely end up severely injured.'

He smirked again.

'Just a little warning,' he shrugged, walking off without another word.

Selene seethed. It took all her self-control to keep from hexing Tom's retreating form.

As soon as he had turned the corner, she ran to the nearest empty classroom, whipped out her wand, and pointed it menacingly at the window.

'_Explosio!'_

It shattered instantly.

* * *

'Do you have to throw up?' Malkin said, looking queasy as she tried not to look at Selene who was retching over the toilet bowl.

'Can't help it,' Selene said weakly, leaning over again for another bout of retching.

'Ugh,' Malkin said. 'Please stop!'

'Yes, please do,' Muriel said stiffly, walking into the bathroom and washing her face.

'Hey, Muriel, are you duelling today?' Malkin asked reservedly.

Muriel gave an affected sniff. She and Malkin had not resolved their differences since last year.

'No,' Muriel said, laughing coquettishly. 'Duelling is so unbecoming for ladies. Especially to duel against males.'

Both Malkin and Selene looked up at Muriel in disbelief. Augusta came in the bathroom at that point, looking warily at Selene.

'Oh, good. You've stopped. Please take an anti-emetic potion next time you feel nauseous.'

'Are _you_ duelling?' Selene asked.

Augusta shook her head.

'No. Mother advised that I didn't, as there's the chance that I would have to duel Archie.'

Selene raised her eyebrows.

'And?'

'Well,' Augusta laughed. 'It wouldn't do much for his sense of masculinity if I beat him to a pulp in front of all his friends.'

Selene wiped her mouth and stood up.

'I can't believe you're not competing because of _men!_ It's so backward!'

'Selene, we can't vote, we're still considered the property of our husbands, don't have equal rights in the workforce… it's not backward. It's just how life is in this modern society.'

Selene frowned.

'Well that's wrong. I think you should both compete. How can society change if _we _don't push for a change?'

Augusta laughed.

'Oh, but Selene, I don't _want_ it to change. I'm very happy with the concept of marrying and providing a good home for my husband and children. I have no intention of becoming a working girl.'

Selene merely stared at Augusta, but found that she had nothing to say to this.

'Fair enough,' Malkin shrugged. 'That doesn't change the fact that you and I need to be down at the Great Hall in ten minutes to register for the contest,' she added to Selene. 'We'd best be on our way. Are you girls watching, at least.'

'Oh, we wouldn't miss one the biggest social events of the year!' Muriel said, smiling.

Selene merely stared at them, and Malkin quickly led her away.

--

'Did you _hear_ them? Did you…'

'Yes, I did.'

'How can they think like that? How…'

'Listen, Selene, they've been raised to think like that.'

'But you have money, and a family, and you don't think like they do!'

Malkin laughed.

'Oh, Selene, my mother has never so much as had a proper conversation with me since the 'period' talk she gave me when I was seven. She's been too absorbed in her acting career her entire life.'

'See! Your mother works!'

'Yes, but I come from a different type of family- the 'artistic' one. We have money, but we're not nobility. We're what Muriel and Augusta's family call 'new money'. They have no respect for us- or for my mother, because she has worked to help generate a substantial part of our fortune. And a working woman is to be scorned.'

Selene looked revolted.

'Why? We're just as good if not better than men. Why shouldn't we be allowed equal rights?'

Malkin smiled at Selene and pulled her aside.

'Look, we can't ask the world to change their views just because we don't agree. All we can do is prove to them that we are worthy of their notice and respect.'

Selene looked down, her brow still furrowed.

'So why don't you go win this duelling competition, and prove to them all for me, that us girls can provide a mean duel when given the chance?'

--

'Bout one, Gryffindor versus Gryffindor. Selene Asteria vs Archibald Longbottom.'

The Hall was divided into two halves, with two podiums- the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw half, and the Slytherin and Hufflepuff half.

'Oh no, I'll feel bad about going for Archie,' Augusta muttered to Muriel and Malkin.

'I'm sure Selene will understand. Just don't expect us to go for Archie.'

'Naturally.'

Selene and Archibald bowed to each other slowly.

'He looks nervous,' Muriel commented, noticing that Archie's wand hand was shaking.

'I would too, if I was duelling Selene,' Malkin commented. 'And she's a bit angry, this morning, too, which makes her even scarier.'

They quietened down as Selene and Archibald began duelling.

'Ouch!' Muriel winced, as Selene sent a stinging hex Archibald's way.

'Oh no, don't tell me he's going to forfeit already!' Augusta said distastefully as they watched Archibald, who was clutching at his eye which was hit by the stinging hex.

'Seems so,' Malkin laughed, patting Augusta's shoulder as Archibald was led away to the 'Hospital Wing Corner' of the Great Hall.

'Excuse me,' Augusta sighed. 'I have to go console him in his disgrace.'

'Have fun,' Malkin called. 'Well done,' she added to Selene who came to join them. 'Though I have to say, you didn't give us much of a show.'

Selene shrugged and stared ahead of her, her eyes narrowed in concentration.

'Ah well,' Malkin sighed. 'Who's next?'

'Bout two,' Flitwitck announced. 'Gryffindor versus Gryffindor. Konstantin Nikopol vs Winston Halifax'

Konstantin went on to win the duel.

'Bout three, Malkin Lefevre versus Florean Fortescue.'

Malkin's face blanched.

'Oh no,' she whispered. 'I can't.'

Selene herself suddenly became apprehensive. She could now see Augusta's point in not duelling.

'Just… pretend he's any other person,' she whispered to Malkin.

Malkin shook her head and slowly rose and walked to the podium. Florean himself was white as he stared at Malkin.

They bowed at each other, but then made no move to raise their wands.

'You may begin duelling,' Dumbledore said, his lips twitching.

Malkin and Florean merely continued to stare at each other. Eventually, Florean sighed.

'Okay, just…. Stun me. I can't duel you. I won't.'

'No! _You _stun me. I'm hopeless at duelling anyway.'

'I certainly won't duel you!'

Malkin bit her lip uncertainly and raised her wand, but then covered her face.

'I can't! I can't!' she said, sounding torn.

'Yes, you can,' Florean said softly.

Malkin shook her head.

'I forfeit. I…'

'No!'

'Then we both forfeit the match,' she said flatly.

'Okay, then.'

'What!' she exclaimed.

Dumbledore cleared his throat.

'Am I to understand that you both wish to forfeit the match?'

Both Malkin and Florean nodded apologetically.

'Very well. You understand that neither of you shall progress to the next round of heats?'

They both nodded and walked off the podium, smiling guiltily at each other.

'That was terrible,' Selene said flatly to Malkin, who grinned sheepishly.

'I can't hex him for being lovely to me. He made me the most lovely dinner on Friday! What has he done to deserve a hexing from me?'

Selene sighed patiently, and looked up as she saw that Alphard was duelling his friend, Keith. She smiled at him encouragingly, and his eyes lit up. He went on to win the match, and came up to her afterwards.

'Just so you know, you win.'

Selene rolled her eyes.

'I'm versing the winner of this match, so you'll have to duel Konstantin and beat him, before we get to meeting each other up there.'

Alphard shrugged.

'Well done, though. That was quite a nicely placed disarming charm there,' Selene commented.

Alphard blushed.

'Thank you,' he said, running his hand through his hair. 'You too. That stinging hex looked painful.'

'Oh lovely,' Selene said grimly. 'I'm against Sean.'

'Eh?'

'He just beat Ryan. Which means that I'm up against Sean… now.'

Alphard held up his hands.

'I'm retreating from this one. I have no side!'

'Very wise,' Selene muttered, shrugging and going to the podium, where Sean was glaring at her. She returned the look just as coldly.

'One, two… three! Duel!'

Before Sean had the chance to even blink, Selene had sent him flying in the air, landing painfully on the wooden podium. Slowly, he stood up and scowled at her as he sent a stinging hex her way. Selene quickly deflected it and, as though in the same stroke, stunned him.

'Miss Asteria wins the duel,' Flitwick announced.

Selene smiled grimly and walked back to where Malkin, Florean, and Muriel were sitting. She then turned to see that Tom had just knocked a Slytherin out cold, and swallowed nervously, before cheering for Alphard who was about to duel Konstantin.

--

'Do you think she might win?' Alphard said, blinking in surprise as he watched Selene easily deflect all the curses Ivan Holt, a Hufflepuff, sent her way.

They were now in the semifinals, and Selene was now duelling for a spot in the finals.

'I don't know,' Augusta (who had returned) commented. 'That Riddle has been duelling formidably.'

'I think Selene can do it,' Malkin said firmly. 'Just because she doesn't cause her duelling opponents unnecessary pain, it doesn't mean that she doesn't have the potential to. I was helping her practise yesterday, and she can do some very scary things. I'm talking about high class _wandless _magic.'

'Wandless magic?' Muriel said sharply. 'Selene?'

'Yeah, she can,' Alphard nodded. 'I can attest to that. She dropped a heavy book on my head the other day when she was practising.'

Malkin coughed to cover her laugh.

'I thought that Selene was a muggle-born?' Augusta said curiously.

'She is.'

'But… _wandless magic_? Mature wizards from the purest families can't perform wandless magic, but you say she can do it on demand?'

Both Malkin and Alphard nodded.

'I know, it is a bit strange. I've often wondered about that myself,' he commented.

'Well, hush about it now,' Malkin said, clapping as Selene won the match. 'She gets touchy when I try discussing. Now, I'm betting ten galleons that Selene wins the tournament.'

'Who's in?'

'I'm not, because I don't want to bet against her,' Alphard said quickly.

'You don't think she'll win?'

'Don't involve me,' Alphard said evasively.

Malkin rolled her eyes.

'Florean?'

'I… no, I don't want in on this,' he said uncomfortably.

'Well, no offence to Selene, but I could do with the extra pocket money. I'll place ten on Riddle,' Augusta said.

'Me too,' Muriel added.

Malkin shook her head at them, but they all quickly changed the subject as Selene came to join them.

'Well done!' Malkin exclaimed. 'You're in the finals!'

Selene paled as she realised this, and they all became silent as Tom walked up to duel Konstantin, who looked ready to keel over with fear.

'Hey, what do you think…'

'Sh!' Selene said, ignoring Alphard. 'I want to watch this.'

She had seen Tom duelling before. She knew his general strengths and weaknesses, but she wanted to watch him again to see if she could find anything else out.

But, alas, Dumbledore had barely finished saying 'Duel!' before Konstantin was knocked out cold.

Everyone surrounding Selene suddenly fell silent, and they all looked to her fearfully.

'Everyone, there will be a fifteen minute interim before the final duel,' Dumbledore announced. 'Please arrive back in the Great Hall promptly, by 3pm sharp.'

'I'm going for a walk,' Selene said suddenly, getting up and leaving the group without another word.

'He's going to kill her!' Alphard exclaimed. 'You, Malkin, you need to stop her from duelling! She'll listen to you.'

'I will do no such thing!' Malkin exclaimed indignantly, crossing her arms. 'Have a little faith in your _girlfriend_,' she shot acidly at Alphard.

'If that's what she even is,' Alphard said moodily.

'What the hell does that even mean?' Malkin said angrily. 'Of course she is, and don't you dare try pulling that 'I can see many girls at once' rubbish with her, because I will come after you, if you do.'

Everyone blinked, and Malkin folded her hands and cleared her throat smartly.

'Selene will be just fine.'

'I'm betting fifty galleons on Riddle,' someone commented as they passed behind where they were sitting.

Malkin scowled at them all, and stood up haughtily.

'I'm very disappointed in you all. Selene always has faith in her friends, and yet you can't even support her!'

'It's not that we don't support her,' Florean said quickly. 'We do.'

'Wholeheartedly,' Alphard added. 'Trust me, I'd much rather see her win, than that Riddle bastard.'

'It's just that we're scared for her health,' Florean added.

'Sure,' Alphard nodded. 'He's one mean git, and he's got it in for her. Who knows what he'll do to her!'

Malkin threw up her hands.

'I give up on you lot. I'm going to go check if she's okay.'

--

Selene paced the length of the bathroom nervously. She quickly went over Tom's weak points-

'Overconfident, leaves himself exposed, weak defences, but very strong attack.'

She sighed, and quickly washed her face and stared her reflection, her eyes hard with determination.

'You can do this,' she said firmly. 'You can show him. You can prove to them _all_ that he isn't the only one who can duel.'

But a small voice of doubt echoed in her mind, that she was foolish to think that she could compete, and it instantly brought her confidence crumbling down.

--

The final pair: Selene Asteria vs. Tom Riddle,' Dumbledore announced.

Selene and Tom slowly walked up to the Podium from opposing ends. Selene's complexion was pale, but she glared at Tom unflinchingly; with fierce determination. Tom himself returned her stare with a slightly confident smirk playing upon his handsome features.

He was confident that he would win.

'You know the rules,' Dumbledore said. 'Are you ready?

They both nodded curtly.

'Very well then…'

Selene and Tom bowed to each other- hazel met black, and their eye-contact was constant.

'On the count to three then. One… two… three! Duel!'

Unlike with their other duels, they both stared at each other for a split second, their insecurities and uncertainties airing for that fraction of a second.

But then, suddenly, it started. They both sent different curses at each other, which clashed and then rebounded, causing them to quickly conjure up shielding charms.

Although Selene had never had to think so quickly in her life- to send, and yet block hexes and curses at virtually the same time, the pace of the duel thrilled her so much more than all the previous duels.

And, slowly, she grew more confident. None of Tom's other opponents had managed to send so much as a hex Tom's way, and yet- five minutes into her own duel with Tom- he was yet to hit her with any curse.

As she noticed this, she also realised that his defence became sloppier and sloppier, in his rage at how resistant she had been to his curses.

They continued to duel furiously. At one point, Selene's breath caught as one of Tom's curses singed her hair as it skimmed past her.

And then, as Tom smiled triumphantly, Selene noticed he had left his entire abdomen exposed.

Without thinking twice, she sent a curse straight at him, hitting him squarely in the abdomen. His lowered his wand and staggered as he struggled to catch his breath and, suddenly, Selene felt something else washing over her.

As she watched his face screwing up in pain, she lowered her wand and took a step towards him tentatively, concerned that her curse had been too strong.

But then Tom straightened up and Selene felt almost relieved to see that he was okay, as their duelling continued again, at an even faster pace than before.

This time, Tom was furious. His jaw was clenched, and he was duelling with more speed and force than ever.

But, in his fury, and speed, his technique suffered. Selene barely needed to block most of his curses, because they were aimed so poorly.

Selene then decided to focus purely on defending herself for a few moments until she found the perfect moment to plan her next move. Tom faltered at her lack of attack and then, suddenly, she said deftly, and precisely-

'_Expelliarmus.'_

And, with that, Tom's wand soared through the air and Selene caught it deftly.

The Great Hall sat in stunned silence. Selene and Tom merely stared at each other. Selene somehow felt apologetic, and frightened at how Tom was staring at her- his face blanched with fury.

Suddenly, Tom swiped his hand through the air and Selene's eyes widened in shock. She was too late to react and, before she knew it, she flew back, crashing down on the podium.

There were a few screams- and boos, from the Gryffindor section- but Selene slowly sat up. Any trace of remorse which she had previously felt for Tom was gone. She quickly glanced at their wands, which lay in the centre of the podium. She thrust out her hand and Tom suddenly rose very high in the air, as though suspended by some invisible string. He tried to struggle, but Selene's concentration was too strong.

Her eyes set hard with determination, Selene dropped her hand and Tom fell with a crash on the podium. A deathly silence spread over the Great Hall as everyone stared at Tom's inert figure, lying spread-eagled on the podium.

There, suddenly, Selene ran over and knelt by his body. She shook him urgently.

'Tom? Tom?' she said desperately; tears in her voice.

Madam Nosscomb forward and pushed Selene to the side, conjuring a stretcher and rushing with Tom's lifeless body out of the Great Hall. Selene tried to follow, feeling helpless and worried sick, but the crowd started moving and speaking quickly.

'Is he okay? Will he…' she stammered.

'Who cares? You won! Duelling Champion!' Alphard laughed, sounding extremely surprised and impressed as he hugged her and planted a kiss on top of her head.

But Selene didn't want to see Alphard. She wanted to see if Tom was okay. She couldn't rid her mind of his lifeless form, sprawled on the ground- because of her.

She had to know that he was okay.

--

The Awards Ceremony was postponed, and Selene tried desperately to escape from all the surprised people who wanted to congratulate her. Malkin was too busy saying 'I told you so' to the other Gryffindor girls to help Selene fend off the other seventh years.

As soon as she could, Selene had tore away from the Great Hall and was running as fast as she could to the Hospital Wing.

'Selene! Wait up!'

She tried to ignore him, but he was too fast. He caught up to her.

'What are you doing? Where are you going?'

She sighed and slowed to a fast-paced walk.

'Hospital Wing,' she said shortly.

'Why?' Alphard frowned. 'Are you hurt?'

'No. I need to check that he's okay.'

Alphard stopped short.

'Riddle!' he exclaimed.

Selene continued walking.

'I don't understand why you care about him,' he continued irritably. 'After everything he's done to you…'

'Just drop it Alphard,' Selene snapped, her face still ghostly pale as she walked as quickly as she could. 'You don't understand.'

Alphard grabbed her arm to stop her from walking.

'Do you… do you…_fancy_ him?' he asked, sounding as though he had swallowed a bottle of Skele-Grow.

Selene merely wrenched her arm from Alphard's grip and continued to hurry down the corridor.

They arrived at the Hospital Wing and Selene turned to face Alphard. At that point, she saw how hurt and confused his eyes were and felt sorry for him. After all, he couldn't understand why she needed to know that Tom was okay- she herself didn't understand it!

Her face softened slightly, but her eyes were still wide with worry.

'Look, Alphie, I'll meet you later,' she soothingly. 'You don't understand this… and of course I don't like him. I just need to do this do this, okay?'

Alphard looked into her eyes searchingly before nodding quickly and leaving. Selene stared after him for a moment, biting her lip, before hurrying into the Hospital Wing.

It was filled with the earlier contestants from the Duelling Contest. They had friends surrounding their bedside. Walking through the wing, Selene arrived to the final bed by the window.

He had no visitors and was lying there, unconscious.

She took a deep breath and hurried to his bedside. As she stared at Tom, tears slid down her pale cheeks. She desperately wanted to not care- and kept trying to harden her expression- but ended up feeling nothing but sickening worry in her gut, and failing.

--

She must have dozed asleep at his bedside, because she felt him moving slightly, and opened her eyes to see that her head was resting on his bed, by his arm.

She sat up suddenly, to see him rubbing his eyes, and felt overwhelmed by the warm sense of relief.

For one short moment- whether he was still half-asleep, Selene would never know- Tom looked like a normal boy. His expression was soft and he had a small, but genuine smile as he saw her.

They continued to stare at each other like this, for what felt like an age. Eventually, Selene quickly looked down as she wiped a tear from her cheek. As she did so, however, Tom sat up, stiffening as a cold, hard look came to his eyes.

'What are you doing here?' he spat. 'Why are you here?'

Selene took a sharp intake of breath, but nodded. She had expected this reaction, but, for those few moments in which Tom had been smiling, had hoped otherwise.

'I'm glad to see that you're okay, Tom,' she said quietly, standing up. 'I'll leave you now,' she nodded, not waiting for his reaction and leaving the room quickly.

A look of confusion flitted across Tom's features as he watched her retreating back, but then he clenched his fists and brought one down angrily on the side of his bed.

As he did, the full force of the implications of the day's events finally hit him—

A mudblood had beaten him at duelling. In front of the entire school.

She was going to suffer.

* * *

**I'm so sorry this chapter took so long (by my standards) to come out. It was such an important chapter, and everyone seemed so excited for it that the pressure of trying to write it well made me procrastinate writing it!**

**But this chapter super long, to make up for the wait, so it should have been worth it- right?**

**Next chapter—**

'_Selene. Have you always been able to use wandless magic? That's not normal.'_

And…

'_Selene trailed hot, searing kisses down his neck, but Tom could stand it no longer. He grabbed her forcefully, and pushed her back into the mirror with such force that the mirror cracked, as he quickly closed the distance between them._'

**You can speculate all you like in your reviews to me! Please leave one before you leave. It will inspire me to get onto writing the next chapter!**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	22. Chapter 22: Balm of Hurt Minds

"_**I **__**am in blood**__**  
**__**Stepp'd in so far that, should I wade no more,**__**  
**__**Returning were as tedious as go o'er:"**_

**Macbeth****, Shakespeare

* * *

**

**Balm of Hurt Minds**

'Selene?'

'Hm?'

'Will you go away with me once school is over?'

They were lying under the yew tree, enjoying their last weekend of freedom before NEWTs study fever hit.

Selene turned over to lie on her stomach and looked down into Alphard's grey eyes.

'Go away with you?' she said quietly. 'Where?'

Alphard lifted a hand and stroked her cheek softly.

'Hmm,' he said, grinning. 'I was thinking we could start in Paris, then maybe go around Italy… and then Greece, perhaps?'

Selene smiled and looked away.

'I don't know,' she said quietly.

Alphard raised an eyebrow and pulled her to him and kissed her softly.

'And why not? What else would you be doing?'

Selene sighed patiently.

'Looking for a job? A place to live?'

Alphard chuckled.

'Why on earth would you need to do that? I'll cover the trip expenses, if that's what you're worried about.'

Selene pursed her lips and sat up, hugging her knees.

'I… I don't know. I'll think about it.'

Alphard bit his lip and started pulling at the grass moodily.

'There… there isn't another reason as to why you want to return to the orphanage, is there?'

Selene raised her eyebrows.

'What do you mean?'

Alphard sighed, sat up, and kissed Selene on the cheek.

'Never mind,' he sighed. 'Make sure you think about summer, won't you?'

Selene smiled at him.

'I will.'

They both stood up and brushed their clothes off for grass and leaves.

'Selene?'

She looked up at him as they continued to walk over to the castle.

'Yes?'

'Have you… Have you always been able to use wandless magic?'

'It hasn't always been as controlled,' she shrugged. 'Why?'

'Well, what you did at the Duelling Competition- that level of control- isn't normal. Lots of us can use wandless magic in extreme situations, but hardly anyone can use it on demand.'

Selene looked at Alphard dully.

'I don't know,' she said, sounding frustrated. 'What do you want me to say? Do you want me to apologise for something which comes naturally to me?'

'No, certainly not,' Alphard said quickly. 'I just… are you absolutely _certain_ that your parents weren't magical?'

Selene sighed patiently.

'Yes, I am. I don't understand why it's such a problem. Is this because you know your family wouldn't approve of me, and you wish that I were pureblood?'

'No! No, of course not!' Alphard exclaimed.

'Then I don't…'

'It's nothing like that,' Alphard said quickly. 'I'm not the only one who's curious about it either. I just think it might be something you should look into one day. I mean, most of us _purebloods_ can't perform wandless magic like that. And you seem to get concepts very easily in class.'

'That's because I study,' Selene said hotly.

Alphard laughed.

'Yes, but before- when you didn't study- you'd always get spells instantly. You evidently have very powerful magical blood.'

Selene ran a hand through her hair.

'Well…. I don't know,' she shrugged through gritted teeth. 'I don't know anything to tell you. I've been told that my parents were muggles, and that's that. I'm sure they're not lying, because they told Tom that his mother was a witch.'

'About that,' Alphard said heavily. 'He can use wandless magic like you, as well.'

'Well, apparently he's a descendent of Slytherin. And don't think that he doesn't study Dark arts- and magic in general- all day and all night.'

'Well that's just it, isn't it?' Alphard said, looking at Selene plainly. 'He's a descendent of Slytherin, and studies all day and all night and looks to alternative forms of magic. You, on the other hand…'

'I study!' Selene exclaimed indignantly. 'And don't think I didn't work my arse off for that duelling competition!'

'I know,' Alphard sighed. 'But would you ever say that you study as much as Tom?'

'No,' Selene said begrudgingly.

'And have you ever studied anything outside of the school curriculum?'

'No,' she admitted.

'Well? Why are you _so much _better than the rest of us? Konstantin, for example, studies very hard. He's always in the library and practising in empty classrooms. And yet, you always do better than him. I mean, you beat Tom at duelling, where everyone else didn't even last one second! It's just… many people are curious, that's all.'

'So you think I'm some kind of freak,' Selene said flatly.

'No, course not!' Alphard said quickly. 'I just think that there might be a bit more to your heritage than you think. And, given that you and Riddle were at the same orphanage, have similar abilities…'

'I do not practise the Dark Arts!' Selene exclaimed hotly.

'Yes, but you can use wandless magic as well as he can, if not better.'

Selene crossed her arms.

'What are you insinuating? That Tom and I are similar? That I'll become evil like him?'

'No,' Alphard said, shaking his head. 'I'm just wondering if you two could possibly be related.'

--

'Selene? What's wrong?' Malkin said, getting up from the couch where she was sitting with Florean and running up to the Girls' Dormitories.

She burst through the door to see Selene wiping her eyes with tissues, and sniffing.

'Did he do this to you? That bastard, I swear…'

'I slapped him,' Selene said tearfully. 'I'm so terrible…'

'I'm sure he deserved it,' Malkin said drily. 'Now why did you slap the bastard?'

Selene sat miserably on her bed.

'He suggested that I was related to Tom because we can both do wandless magic and come from the same orphanage. Honestly! Tom and I certainly _aren't_ related.'

Malkin shifted uncomfortably and cleared her throat quickly. Selene looked up, startled.

'You agree! You think we are too!' she exclaimed, more tears streaming down her cheeks.

'No, no, not necessarily. I mean, you don't exactly _look _that similar… even though you're both good looking and have dark features….'

Selene stood up and shook Malkin by the shoulders.

'No!' she shrieked. 'We're not! He's not related to me! He can't be!'

Malkin sat Selene down and hugged her.

'Look, Selene, you can't know… but you also have to see Alphie's reasoning. It does make a bit of sense that you two could be related.'

Selene started hyperventilating.

'Oh, God, you haven't _done _anything with him have you?' Malkin said, looking as though she was going to be sick. 'Because that would be sick.'

Selene stood up, her eyes flashing angrily.

'I'm not a freak. I'm just talented at magic, and study hard. I shouldn't be punished for that!'

'Who's punishing you?'

'… and we're not related, so anything I _may_ have done with Tom is no better or worse than what you've done with any boy!'

And with that, Selene stormed back out of her dormitory, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

He clenched his fists as he saw her walking towards him. His dreams ever since the duelling contest had all involved her. Some involved him murdering her, others involved her seducing him, and then others were of him seducing her, and then murdering her when the opportune moment came.

He woke up from all of them with an uncomfortable erection and the need for a very cold shower.

He close his eyes has he remembered the dream from last night—

How she had beentrailing hot, searing kisses down his neck until he could stand it no longer. He then grabbed her forcefully, and pushed her back into the mirror with such force that the mirror cracked, as he quickly closed the distance between them, reclaiming her lips and ripping her underpants urgently as he pushed suddenly inside her, causing her to cry out in pain…

'You look sick,' she stated plainly.

He opened his eyes and blinked quickly to clear his mind from the haze of the memory of his dream. He wanted to hate her- to purely hate her- but his consuming hate always became confused with lust, and that made him hate her even more; for making him susceptible to such a human flaw as lust was.

He said nothing and they began their patrol.

'Tom,' she said quietly. 'I know you'll say no, but a lot of people have been asking me if we're related.'

That killed any lust in him instantly.

'What!' he said, enraged. 'You- a worthless mudblood- related to _me?_'

Selene grimaced.

'The idea is just as unappealing to me, trust me,' she said drily. 'But… I just wondered what you thought about it. We can both do wandless magic on a similar level, we're both very good at practical magic, we're both…'

'You're implying that your ability in magic is similar to mine,' Tom interrupted.

Selene looked at him plainly.

'Well, I think we established last week that…'

Rage boiled in him.

'That was an exception. I was forced to use very clean methods of duelling. In the real world, you would have been dead before you had the chance to raise your wand.'

Selene sighed.

'Okay, Tom. Think whatever you like, but you can't deny that we have…'

Tom grabbed her by the shoulders suddenly, and Selene's breath caught as she saw the manic gleam in his eyes.

'You, are _nothing_ like me. I am so far advanced from you when it comes to magic, that you could only ever _dream_ of achieving my level of knowledge.'

Selene swallowed.

'I think you're exaggerating, Tom. We both know that you're very good, but I don't think you're _that_ much…'

'Have you ever used an Unforgivable?' he hissed.

Selene sighed.

'No. But that doesn't mean I can't,' she said coldly.

Tom raised an eyebrow, and Selene felt frightened as the manic gleam seemed to grow more pronounced in him.

'Come with me,' he hissed, leading her behind the mirror on the fourth floor. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he realised that he could actualise his dreams, if he really wanted to.

'Accio spider,' he hissed.

He conjured a bowl and placed the spider in it.

'You can use an Unforgivable, can you?' he hissed from behind her, in her ear. '_Show_ me.'

Selene turned around to leave, but found herself pressed against Tom's chest. He was smiling sardonically at her.

'Selene, Selene, Selene,' he whispered against her lips. 'You think you can be on my level, and yet you can't even kill a tiny spider?'

Selene lifted her chin defiantly.

'What's the spider ever done to me?' she whispered. 'It doesn't deserve to be killed. If anything in this room deserves an Unforgivable, it's _you_.'

Tom laughed against her lips.

'Such a typical female weakness,' he whispered. 'You're so anxious not to hurt anything- even if it's insignificant.'

'Is that your reasoning for hurting me all the time, then?' Selene seethed. 'Because, to you, I'm an 'insignificant little mudblood'?'

Tom chuckled and raised a hand and stroked her cheek. Her eyelids fluttered close.

'Ah, Selene, you're a special case,' he whispered. 'You may be a mudblood, but you're more _significant_ than the others. Killing you would have to be a very special occasion.'

Selene opened her eyes suddenly and tried to push him away, but he grabbed her round the waist and turned her roughly to face the bowl again.

'Do it,' he hissed, his body pressed up against her back. 'You said you could if you wanted to. You dare to even _suggest_ to me that we're related—then show me that you're at least capable of an easy little Unforgivable.'

'What if I don't want to?' Selene said through gritted teeth.

'Then you've proven to me that you're just as insignificant as all the others, and I'll kill you here, on the spot,' he whispered silkily in her ear.

Selene shivered. Part of her believed that he _would_ kill her.

Slowly, she turned around and looked up at Tom.

'Okay, I'll do it. I'll use an Unforgivable,' she said, looking into his eyes defiantly. 'Which one?'

Tom's lips twitched into a sardonic smile.

'The Cruciatus,' he whispered, his breath tickling Selene's lips. 'It prolongs the pain- it's my favourite.'

Selene raised an eyebrow.

'Very well then,' she said in a low voice.

She raised her wand, and Tom's eyes widened as he realised that her wand was pointing at him.

'_Crucio.'_

--

She walked over to where he was lying on the floor, still twitching from the pain, and climbed on top of him and kissed his forehead.

'Did you enjoy that, Tom?' she whispered in his ear. 'That was ten seconds of your favourite Curse. You put me through ten minutes of it.'

She kissed the shell of his ear, and he groaned, but could not speak.

'You had never experienced it before today, had you?' she whispered, cupping his cheek and stroking his cheekbone with her thumb gently. 'You think you're so clever, playing with these big curses, don't you. It makes you feel all 'grown-up' doesn't it?'

Tom struggled to open his eyes, and she leant forward and kissed both his eyes, gently.

'It's a kind of pain that one never forgets,' she whispered, resting her forehead against his. 'It's the kind that I'll remember till the day I die. Now you know what it feels like.'

He opened his mouth, but only gasps came out.

Slowly, she leant forward and kissed his lips, gently.

'So there you go, Tom. I can use Unforgivables, just as easily as you. But I see what it's done to you and know that I never want to use one ever again. Because I'm _better_ than to reduce another creature- human or animal- to such a state.'

He suddenly opened his eyes and suddenly gripped her arms and rolled them over so that he was on top of her. His eyes flashed with a mixture of lust and rage, and her eyes widened in shock.

He had to do it. He was certain that once he had consummated his lust- satisfied it- the dreams would stop, he would be free from her spell, and he would be able to get on with his work in the cold, detached manner he always aimed for.

She pulled him to her and, the next thing he knew, his mind was wiped blank from any of his plans and evil thoughts. It was such a heightened state of being, and, for those few moments that she kissed him, he felt completely pure again.

But there was that ever-present emptiness from when he had first created that horcrux. Suddenly, he pushed her away and got off her, clutching at his throat and gasping.

'Leave,' he gasped hoarsely.

Selene stood up quickly, but ran to him. She turned him around and looked into his eyes worried.

'Tom, what's wrong?'

She sounded concerned, and he couldn't for the life of him understand why she would be.

'Just… leave,' he said through gritted teeth.

That unnatural, uncontrollable rage was coming back. The one which had been responsible for his killing Morticia.

But he couldn't kill her the same way. He couldn't.

'Selene,' he whispered, sounding pained. 'Listen to me. You have to leave. I'll…'

'Tom, what's happening to you?' she said, her voice shaking with fear. 'You've become so pale… oh God, it's my Cruciatus…'

His eyes widened as an idea came to him.

'Do it again,' he hissed.

'What? No!' she said, looking perplexed.

He gripped her wrists desperately.

'You must! Selene, listen to me! You must! And then you must leave.'

'I can't do that to you!'

The rage was becoming overpowering. His hands twitched towards his wand.

'Leave,' he whispered.

'Tom?'

He looked up at her and then Selene saw it- his eyes were blood red.

She nodded, frightened, and then ran from the room. As soon as she had, Tom whipped out his wand and pointed it at the spider bowl.

'_Avada Kedavra'_

* * *

'Again? Selene, you know he's bad for you!' Florean sighed. 'And what about Alphard?'

Selene groaned and put her head in her arms.

'I know! I know!' she cried. 'But it's like this magnetic pull. It's so dangerous… but whenever he kisses me, it's like electricity. I don't feel that with Alphard, even though I know he's better for me.'

Florean looked at Selene gravely.

'Electricity can kill you.'

Selene looked up at Florean, startled.

'He… he wouldn't,' she whispered, trying to forget how red Tom's eyes were when she left him.

Florean sighed.

'Look, Riddle may be Head Boy, and all the Professors may love him, but he's already proven to you that he's very capable of killing you- or going too far, at least. And you say he made you use the Cruciatus? Selene, he's a terrible influence! I don't know anyone as pure of heart as you, and he's corrupting you!'

Selene looked down dejectedly.

'Don't think I don't know all that. I mean, I hate him. I think. But then, at times, the thought of him being hurt or something happening to him makes me want to drive a stake through my heart rather than seeing him suffering. Do you understand? I … I don't get it. It's… it makes no sense, and yet it keeps happening!'

Florean bit his lip.

'I think you need to get over the loyalty you feel to him, because you've known him your entire life. That's not enough to warrant your falling in love with someone as terrible as him.'

'I don't…'

'Selene, you should just forget this. Forget him completely. Don't try to think about it, just… stay with Alphard. He mighten't be the best, but he's a hell of a lot better for you than Riddle will ever be. He loves you, and you should try your best to forget about Riddle and love him back.'

'I… I think I do,' Selene said uncertainly.

'Good. Then I think you should go on that trip he asked you to during summer so that when you come back you can start afresh. Riddle will be gone after the summer anyway, and you'll never see him again.'

Selene gasped at the thought. No matter what, Tom had always _been _there. The thought of never seeing him again made her feel sick.

'No, it can't…'

'Selene,' Florean said firmly. 'I won't tell any of this to anyone else. I appreciate your coming to me in confidence, but whatever you feel or think you may feel for Riddle has to end. You deserve so much better than some psychopath who will torture you, abuse you, and then leave you to the dogs. You really do, Selene.'

Selene looked down at her mug.

'I know,' she said quietly. 'And I never said I'd end up with Tom, or be with him in any from of 'together'. I just… don't understand why we always end up being drawn to each other in that way.'

Florean smiled, though there was a grim edge to it.

'It's not something you should think about or try understanding,' he said firmly. 'Just forget it, and get on with your life with Alphard. You have a future with him. With Riddle, I'm afraid your future will be a graveyard.'

Selene smiled sadly, but then got off her stool and hugged Florean.

'Thanks, Florean. I know all this, of course. I just… needed to talk to someone about it. That's all.'

Florean nodded uncertainly, but could not help feeling worried for his friend.

* * *

Tom found it impossible to keep his mind on his NEWT study. He knew that his first exam was in one short week's time, but he had more important things to organise—

His foolish Slytherin followers had somehow gotten into their minds to attempt to torture first year muggleborns. This, of course, didn't work as they did tried to do so during their class break, which meant that Selene caught them before they could touch the mudbloods' heads.

So, now, many of his followers were suspended.

To make matters worse, his plans to make further horcruxes had hit a snag. Creating the first had been relatively easy- many people had created _one _horcrux before, and it had been simple enough to find literature on creating a first horcrux.

But, research as Tom did, there was nothing on creating a second Horcrux. Tom had suffered considerable side effects as it was from the first, but to create seven?

He was frightened of how strong the effects might be. It was one thing to murder, but another to lose complete control.

And Tom needed to be in control.

He tugged at his black hair and got up quickly from his desk. He decided that he'd go for a walk to clear his thoughts before returning to an evening of nothing but NEWT study.

--

Tom walked through the corridors, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts. There were hardly any students, as it was close to curfew, and he was glad to have this solitude.

'Good evening, Tom.'

He froze and clenched his fists as he heard the one voice which grated on his nerves more than anything else in the world.

He turned and forced a smile.

'Good evening, professor,' he said cordially.

'Just going for an evening stroll, are we?'

Tom felt uncomfortable under Dumbledore's penetrating gaze, and glanced around quickly. He saw Selene studying in the next classroom and then smiled again at Dumbledore.

'I was just meeting Selene for a 'School Head' meeting, and I'm afraid I'm rather late. Excuse me,' he said, nodding to Dumbledore.

'Ah,' Dumbledore said, his eyes still watching Tom warily. 'You had better not keep her waiting, then.'

Tom grimaced and hurried to Selene's classroom. She looked up, startled, as he burst through the door.

'Tom?'

'Hi, so sorry I'm late,' he said loudly, staring at her meaningfully.

She frowned.

'Umm…'

'Dumbledore's been watching me,' he hissed in her ear as he drew up a chair next to where she was sitting, next to the window.

Selene dropped her quill and looked up at him hesitantly.

'What happened to you, last time?' she whispered, looking in his eyes searchingly.

Now, they appeared to be black, as normal.

'What? Oh, that… nothing. Never mind that,' he said, rubbing his temples.

'I don't call that nothing,' she said gently. 'You really frightened me. Was it my curse?'

'It had nothing to do with you,' he said dismissively. 'I just sometimes get these uncontrollable fits and need to be alone.'

'Oh.'

He looked at her as she looked back to her book and began fiddling with her quill. Then, they both looked up, startled, as a thunder clap boomed throughout the night and rain began to pour steadily.

'I like it when it rains,' Tom murmured softly, as they both continued to watch the rain.

'Why?' Selene said, not looking away from the window.

'It's cleansing. It's a nice concept.'

Selene smiled a little.

'It is, isn't it?' she wondered. 'It's nature's shower.'

Selene's candle on her desk suddenly blew out, but neither of them had made a move to relight it. The darkness was comforting.

Tom couldn't understand what he felt at that moment. Perhaps it was all the pressure and expectation he had put on himself finally overwhelming him, perhaps it was the beauty of the thunderstorm outside, or perhaps it was just the comfort of Selene's presence… but Tom suddenly felt overcome with a need for warmth.

He shivered, and Selene looked to him.

'Are you cold?' she asked.

He shook his head, but continued to shiver. Selene took her cloak from the back of her chair and draped it around Tom's shoulders.

'My Lord,' she said with a hint of sarcasm, her lips twitching as she smoothed the creases of the cloak.

Tom suddenly held her arms and pulled her to be closer to him. Her breath caught at his touch. No matter how much she knew that she had to resist him- to forget him- she knew that she couldn't.

'What's wrong with you, Tom?' she whispered, looking into his eyes searchingly.

He shook his head slightly and leant forward and kissed her softly.

'Tom, you're so confusing,' she sighed, pulling away and resting her forehead against his. 'One day you're trying to kill me, another you're forcing me to use Unforgivables, and now you're being nice and gentle?'

Tom pulled away, rested his elbows on the table and watched the rain. He looked weary.

'I'm just very tired, Selene,' he said. 'There's a lot going on in my life. And it's only going to get busier, more demanding, and more dangerous. My nights like this are numbered.'

'Like this?'

'Nights that I can spend in idleness, without suffering the consequences later.'

Selene took his hand urgently.

'Tom, what's happening to you? Tell me! I can help you!'

He looked at her and smiled wearily.

'I don't want your help, Selene. This is what I'm destined for. There's always a sacrifice for greatness.'

'And what's your sacrifice, Tom?' she asked, her voice shaking.

Tom leant forward and kissed her again, softly.

'This,' he whispered against her lips.

She stared at him with wide eyes.

'And what, exactly, is this?'

'Warmth, emotion, pleasure, happiness, leisure… whatever you want to call it.'

Selene bit her lip quickly and turned away. She couldn't understand why, but hot tears had sprung to her eyes.

'What's the matter?' he sighed.

'I don't want you to do this. I know you think you have some destiny of evil to fulfil, but…'

'Sh,' he said gently.

Selene turned to see that he was once again watching the rain.

'We will never agree, Selene. We haven't for the past eighteen years. What makes you think that you're going to change my mind tonight?'

'Because…'

Tom shook his head.

'You will never change my mind, or my resolve. In any case, it's too late. I'm too far gone now.'

'Then what do you want from me?' she said, perplexed.

He did not respond straight away.

'I… I'd like to feel human, just once more. Just for one night.'

She stared at him.

'You do know that I don't understand what you're on about,' she said.

His lips twitched.

'I know. You never really have, though.'

Selene rolled her eyes.

'You always liked to pretend that you were so mysterious. I don't think you are, though. I just think you're a bit pretentious, really.'

'Is that so?' Tom smiled.

'Yes,' Selene nodded. 'What, with your blood notions and 'Lord Voldemort' and all.'

'You called me 'My Lord' before,' he commented.

'I was being sarcastic.'

'I know… but I have to admit it made me like you just a little bit more.'

Selene shook her head at him, but then watched him sadly.

'Will I ever see you again?'

'I believe we have a few meetings with Dippet before the year is over,' Tom said ironically.

She shook her head.

'No. Once school is over. Will I ever see you again?'

Tom glanced at her for a moment, before looking back to the rain. His eyes hardened.

'No, I don't suppose you will. You'll probably hear of me, though.'

'That's it?' she said, hurt. 'That's it?'

Tom sighed.

'Yes, I suppose that's it.'

'Are you planning on dying?' she said flatly.

He laughed.

'Oh, Selene dear, quite the opposite,' he laughed.

Selene shivered and Tom took the cloak from him and put it around her shoulders.

'Be good,' he said softly. 'Evil doesn't suit you.'

She shook her head hopelessly, and he kissed her lips softly. She went to kiss him back, but he pulled away.

'And tomorrow, we're back to hating each other. I just thought I'd warn you,' he whispered.

She went to say something, but he silenced her with another kiss, and then left immediately.

* * *

Selene now knew what had been holding her back all this time with Alphard. It was as simple and as complicated as Tom Riddle.

The next day, when she saw Alphard for a study date, all she could think of was how she wished he was Tom- how she wished that Tom wasn't bent on pursuing some deluded path to greatness, but was content to lead a normal life like Alphard.

But then she realised that if Tom were like Alphard, he wouldn't have a tenth of the hold he had on her.

It pained her to take Florean's advice- to take such measures of forgetting Tom- but she knew she had to—

'Alphard,' she said, interrupting his question on Potions chemistry. 'I'll go with you on that trip during summer.

* * *

**I really don't know how there ended up being so much Tom/Selene in this chapter, but I think they've been resisting for too long and it all just happened. **

**If any of you have misinterpreted their 'night' scene in the classroom, Tom wasn't reverting to being 'nice'. He simply wanted to have one final night of not putting up pretences of hate etc. At this point in the story, I still think he has enough good in him to be able to act as he did in the classroom, without much effort.**

**Next chapter-**

'Are you… are you _fantasising_ about me?' Tom spluttered, sounding mortified, and deeply embarrassed.

**I think you can guess who.**

**A big thank you to everyone who has been reviewing thus far. To those who haven't- why don't you be daring and try reviewing? I daresay you may even enjoy it!**

**So, please leave me many lovely reviews and I shall hopefully get typing to provide you with another long chapter in a timely manner! **

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	23. Chapter 23: She Lingers My Desires

"_**Those who**__**hate**__**most fervently must have once loved deeply; those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire.**__**"**_** – Kurt Tucholsky

* * *

**

**She Lingers My Desires**

'Merlin! I'm going to fail!' Malkin moaned, leaning into Florean's shoulder. 'I know nothing!'

Selene tried to ignore the two as Florean started speaking encouragingly to Malkin, who then proceeded to kiss him.

Eventually, Selene could stand it no longer.

'I… I'm going to go for a walk. You know, clear my head and all,' she said loudly.

Florean waved at her in between kisses from Malkin, and Selene shook her head and left them.

She wondered if she would ever be like that with Alphard, but then decided that he would probably die from shock if she ever came onto him so strongly. She sighed and continued to walk back to the Gryffindor common room. She was not sure at all that her decision to go to on holiday with Alphard had been right at all. Something about it made her feel uncomfortable- that it would force their relationship to go a lot faster than she was ready for.

'Oh, _there_ you are!'

Selene smiled mildly as she saw Alphard waiting for her outside the Gryffindor portrait.

'Have you been waiting for me?' she asked.

He nodded grimly.

'Yes. I'm afraid I've got some very bad news for you. I think you'll be very angry with me.'

Selene raised an eyebrow.

'Oh?'

'Yes. You see, my cousin's getting married over summer, and I have to be best man at the wedding.'

Selene frowned.

'And how does this affect me?'

'Well- our trip,' Alphard said uncomfortably.

'Oh,' Selene shrugged. 'Well we'll just make it shorter. I don't mind.'

'That's just it,' Alphard said uncomfortably. 'I'll be needed for the two months prior to the wedding for the preparations and all.'

Selene stared at Alphard, feeling as though she had been slapped. It had taken all her resolve, despite her intuition telling her otherwise- to accept his offer.

And now he was withdrawing it?

She forced a smile.

'It's okay. Maybe some other summer,' she shrugged.

'Look, I'll make it up to you…'

'Alphard, it's fine,' she said firmly. 'I really don't mind. I actually wanted to return to the orphanage one last time this summer anyway, so it works out quite well.'

Alphard watched her closely.

'Am I going to pay for this later?' he asked suspiciously.

Selene laughed lightly.

'Don't be ridiculous. Now, why don't you give me a kiss and sod off, because I have to go study. My first exam's tomorrow and I feel like a nervous wreck!'

Alphard grinned and kissed her slowly.

'I think I can help remedy that,' he said, kissing her again.

When they broke apart, she forced a smile.

'Okay then. I'll see you later.'

'Are you sure you're fine about all this?' he called after her.

She constructed a smile, once again, and blew him a kiss before climbing through the portrait and bounding up the stairs to her dormitory.

'Bloody men,' she seethed under her breath as she burst through the dormitory.

She stopped short to see both Muriel and Augusta in tears.

'Oh, what's wrong now?' Selene snapped.

'It's Archie…' Augusta said tearfully. 'He proposed!'

Selene blinked in shock.

'He… he did? And you're… upset?'

Augusta shook her head and smiled happily.

'No! I… I just can't believe I've achieved so much so early! I thought I'd be twenty at least before I got married. But at eighteen! Oh, mother will be so proud.'

'I'll bet,' Selene said uncertainly. 'Well, congratulations!'

'Thanks,' Augusta said. 'I'm just so excited now, that I can't study!'

Selene went into the bathroom and clenched her fits.

'Bloody men!' she seethed. 'They give you shit news _just_ before big exams. Have they no tact or shame at all?'

She snorted as she thought of what Tom would think of all this. He'd call her weak, or scoff at her for being so easily affected by her feelings.

And so she washed her face quickly and went back down to the common room for a night of intense study, all thoughts of Alphard and their cancelled holiday forgotten.

* * *

'Oh no! That was _terrible!' _Malkin groaned, as they walked out of the exam.

'I agree,' Selene said grimly. She felt too tired to care.

'I can't believe we have to go back and study for _five more_ exams! This is torture!'

'Well, they're not called 'Nastily Exausting' for no reason,' Selene commented. 'Hey, I'll meet you in a sec,' she added as she saw Tom walking ahead.

'Hey, Tom?'

He looked at her, startled. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked as though he hadn't eaten since she last saw him.

'Merlin, Tom! You should get some sleep!' Selene said as she took in his appearance.

'What do you want?' he snapped.

Selene blinked. She felt hurt by his tone, but knew that she shouldn't have expected any differently either.

'I was just wondering if you were going back to the orphanage this summer?' she said hopefully.

'No,' he said shortly, continuing to walk away from her.

Selene stood rooted to the spot, but then ran after him.

'You're not?' she called after him.

'No. I don't see why you are either. Aren't you ever going to graduate from that worthless place?'

Selene's shoulders slumped.

'Well, I don't exactly have enough money to support myself. How do _you _have money?' she asked suspiciously.

'I have a job at Borgin and Burke's, as soon as I finish here,' Tom shrugged.

'And where are you staying?'

'You won't be invited to my housewarming, if that's what you're wondering,' Tom said irritably.

Selene rolled her eyes.

'I'll need to move out eventually.'

'There is no world in which we will be flatmates, Selene,' he said firmly.

Selene crossed her arms, affronted.

'Thank you, _Tom_,' she said acidly. 'But I wasn't suggesting that. I just wanted to know what kind of accommodation I'd be able to find for the salary of a shop assistant.'

'No where suitable for a single girl such as yourself,' he muttered. 'Stay in the orphanage and be a good girl. Goodbye.'

'Wait!'

He sighed exasperatedly.

'I told you,' he said through gritted teeth. 'We're back to hating each other.'

'I know, I know,' Selene drawled. 'Don't be so melodramatic. I just don't understand why you're being so difficult!'

'Because where you end up, is none of my business. If you want advice- I suggest you get a job before you look at accommodation. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to learn the entire History of Magic Syllabus before tomorrow afternoon.'

Selene looked down.

'I have rather good notes on History of Magic,' she said, blushing. 'They're concise, but have everything you need to know. I could give you a copy.'

Tom's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

'Why would you do that?'

'Because you look like hell, and like you could do with some sleep?' Selene shrugged.

Tom looked as though he was considering it for a moment, but then snorted.

'What could a mudblood like _you_ teach _me_ of the history of my kind?' he said scathingly.

Selene looked down and Tom turned on his heel and walked off.

'Nice to know the Tom I've always known is still there,' Selene muttered moodily, feeling very silly for offering her notes to him in the first place, as she walked back to her common room.

* * *

'How did you go?' Florean smiled at Malkin, kissing her cheek as she curled up next to him on his armchair.

She nestled her head against his chest.

'Horrible,' she murmured. 'Just horrible.'

'Ah, I'm sure it wasn't that bad,' Florean laughed, hugging her to him. 'How did Selene go?'

'I don't know,' Malkin shrugged.

'Where is she?'

'Oh, she just went off, she didn't say.'

Florean pursed his lips and Malkin looked up at him.

'What's the matter?'

'Riddle wasn't around, was he?'

Malkin frowned.

'Actually, I think he was. Why?'

Florean frowned.

'Did she speak to him?'

'I… I don't know. I came back here. Why?'

Florean bit his lip.

'Look, I think Selene's very confused about Tom.'

Malkin rolled her eyes.

'Tell me about it. She can't, no matter how many times I tell her, see what a vile person he really is.'

'Well that's just it. I'm worried that she's trying to get more involved with him now that school's about to finish.'

Malkin interlaced her fingers with Florean's.

'The thing is,' she said quietly. 'That we can't tell her. She won't listen when it comes to Tom.'

'I know,' Florean said. 'I'm just worried for her. I really think it'd be best if we push Alphard for her.'

Malkin was quiet for a few moments, but then nodded.

'I know. As much as I dislike him, he'd be a hell of a lot better for her than that Riddle.'

Florean nodded slowly.

'I just don't know how we're going to convince her, without actually telling her,' Malkin said quietly.

* * *

Tom looked at the clock desperately. It was a quarter to five in the morning already, and his History of Magic exam was in almost three hours.

But he hadn't even covered half the curriculum for the exam yet.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly and felt them pricking. He suddenly felt furious with himself for becoming so preoccupied with his other projects and ignoring his school work. He could see no way in which he was going to pass his History of Magic exam, with the knowledge that he had.

Now he wished he had taken up Selene's offer.

He glanced at the sky and wondered if he could send an owl to her, asking for her help. Suddenly, independence didn't matter so much as his passing. And Selene had already seen him faltering. What did it matter if he asked her for help? After all, she would be the only one in the world who would know…

He tore through the school for the owlery and scribbled a note for her.

He knew that she would come.

--

'What's that godawful tapping?' Malkin groaned.

Selene squinted and got up from her bed to see an owl tapping at the window.

'It's alright, I've got it,' she said, sighing as she got out of bed and relieved the owl of it's note.

She felt her blood running cold as she recognised Tom's neat cursive.

_I need your help for this exam. I'm in the classroom you were studying in the other night._

'What is it?' Malkin said sleepily.

'Oh, um… nothing, just a magazine I ordered a while ago,' Selene lied. 'I… I just remembered that I forgot my notes in a classroom last night…'

She threw on her uniform quickly, picked up her satchel and left before Malkin could question her any further.

'That was quick,' Tom said, looking surprised as she came into the classroom.

'I don't appreciate you calling me a mudblood, but then asking me for help,' she said flatly.

She bit her lip as she took in his appearance.

'Have you had _any _sleep?' she asked, sitting next to him.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly.

'No. Stupid History. What's it good for?'

Selene smiled at him. She knew that it was wrong for her to keep returning to him like this, but she couldn't help it. She had to be there for him, because he had no one else.

'Shall we go through it? We can just go through the main points I think they might ask us about. We can get through it all in time, I think.'

He nodded and they began going through the notes.

--

Selene sighed.

'And that's the Goblin Rebellion of 1782, and… that's it!' she said, rubbing her eyes. 'Do you get it all?'

Tom looked through her notes again quickly, and then nodded.

'I think so. Yes, I do,' he nodded.

'You're welcome,' Selene said sarcastically.

His lips twitched a little, and they both stood up and walked to the Great Hall for their exam.

'Oh, Selene,' Tom said, just before they reached the Entrance Hall. 'I just wanted to say…'

'Selene?'

Selene's eyes widened in shock and she turned around to see Alphard, Sean, Keith and Ryan. They all stared at her and Tom with wide eyes.

'What…'

Tom made up is mind in an instant.

'And don't forget the meeting with Dippet tomorrow evening. I honestly don't understand what he was thinking, giving a Head Badge to a mudblood such as yourself. You hardly ever turn up to meetings,' he snapped, turning on his heel and leaving her.

Selene bit her lip and looked to Alphard, feeling annoyed at him.

'What?' she snapped.

'I don't understand why you don't just hex him again for speaking to you like that,' Alphard said haughtily.

'Yeah,' Ryan laughed. 'Give him another taste of that Duelling Competition.'

Selene watched Tom sadly as he walked, alone, into the Great Hall. No matter what, it didn't feel _right_ with Alphard and his friends. It all felt very forced.

But those few hours she had spent with Tom felt _right_.

She forced a smile at Alphard, who kissed her cheek.

'I hope he hasn't upset you before your exam. It'd be the type of thing he'd do to try sabotaging you,' he said grimly.

Selene forced a smile.

'No, no, I'm okay. We'd better go in, though, otherwise we'll be late for the exam.

* * *

'We're finished!' Alphard laughed, picking Selene up by the waist and twirling her around. 'Aren't you happy?'

Selene felt so far from happy that she wanted to burst into tears. Finishing exams, meant that school was over.

Which meant she was alone, again.

Which meant no more Tom…

Alphard kissed her and she blinked back her tears.

'Why don't you go get changed. I'm taking you out to dinner. Just you and I. We're going to celebrate, we haven't had a date in a while.'

'I… I have to…'

'No! No excuses,' Alphard grinned. 'You're coming out tonight, and that's that.'

'Hi.'

Selene and Alphard turned to see Malkin and Florean, their arms around each other.

'We're going to Hogsmeade to celebrate, tonight,' Malkin said to them. 'You're welcome to join us if you like.'

Alphard looked to Selene and smiled.

'Yeah, that sounds good! Why not- the more the merrier!'

--

'Why, in Circe's name, do you look so miserable?' Malkin laughed at Selene.

'I don't want to go,' Selene said, slumping on her bed and crossing her arms. 'I just want to stay in. I'm not in the mood for celebrating.'

'But why not? Exams are over- you should! You're going on that trip with Alphie in a few weeks, so…'

'I'm not, actually,' Selene said flatly. 'He cancelled it, because some cousin of his is getting married or something.'

'Oh,' Malkin said, biting her lip. 'Still- how often do you think we'll get to go out in Hogsmeade once school's over? Now, I have this dress I've been working on, and I want you to try it out for me tonight. I think it'll look stunning on you.'

'But…'

'No buts. You're coming out,' Malkin said firmly. 'What, pray, do you have to be upset about? You have a lovely boyfriend, you certainly did well in all your exams, you're Head Girl- which will be good for getting jobs once we're done… Selene, you have everything a girl could ask for!'

Selene looked down at her hands.

'I…'

She constructed a smile.

'Okay, then,' she said. 'Let's try on this dress!'

Malkin beamed and clapped her hands excitedly before diving under her bed for the dress box.

* * *

'Are you allowed to drink?' Alphard asked Malkin tentatively.

'Sure. I never had an alcohol problem, after all!'

'Excellent. Shall we get a bottle of red and white?'

He didn't wait for everyone to respond, but launched straight into discussion over the wine list with the waiter.

'Well, this is nice,' Malkin said, smiling around the table. 'And Selene, you look lovely, if I say so myself.'

'It's a beautiful dress. I don't see why you're not wearing it,' Selene said, touching the delicate beading lightly.

'Because it's made to fit _you_, silly!' Malkin laughed. 'Now, what shall we get for appetisers?'

--

At one point during dinner, Selene looked out the restaurant window and recognised Tom's figure walking through the main street of Hogsmeade. He paused, before walking up ahead to a jewellery store.

'Selene?'

Selene's cheeks burned and she turned and smiled guiltily at Malkin.

'Sorry, were you saying something?' she asked quickly, sipping more wine.

Malkin watched Selene warily, before continuing to discuss her ideas for her debut range of robes.

And it was then, that Selene realised that she really did have to let go of Tom. It wasn't a matter of even choosing him, because he wouldn't want her in the first place.

But it was something else—

Tom didn't fit in with Malkin and Florean. If Selene wanted to follow after Tom, she would have to forget her best friends.

And she was not prepared to do that. Not for a miserable life of following Tom's every whim, constantly hoping that he'd have a 'soft' day once in a blue moon.

'You okay?' Alphard smiled, taking Selene's hand across the table and kissing it.

Selene smiled at him.

'I'm more than okay,' she said softly.

Eventually, dinner finished and they walked back to the castle. Somehow, they became separated so that Florean and Malkin were walking further ahead of Selene and Alphard.

'Hey, Alphie?'

Alphard turned to look at Selene. She bit her lip and then kissed him tentatively.

'Thanks for taking me out tonight. I had a very good time,' she whispered.

Alphard blinked in surprise at her warmth toward him. She had been very distant during the past few weeks.

'Anything, for you,' he said, stroking her cheek lightly. 'I… I love you, Selene.'

Selene faltered for a moment, but then smiled at him and kissed him again.

'And I love you.'

She couldn't help smiling at how much her saying that lit up Alphard's eyes. Suddenly, he pulled her to him and kissed her passionately.

'I promise I'll take you away. As soon as the wedding's over. We'll have a month of summer left, anyway. Maybe we'll just stay in France for a bit.'

Selene sighed.

'It's okay, don't feel bad. I understand,' she said truthfully. 'We'll see how things go, okay?'

Alphard toyed with a loose tendril of her dark hair.

'Was there a time, last year, when I was annoyed at you last you?' he wondered.

Selene laughed.

'I believe so. You used to make a point of ignoring me in Arithmancy,' she said.

'Dear me, what was I thinking?'

Selene raised her eyebrows.

'You evidently weren't.'

'True. I was probably too blinded by your beauty.'

'Oh, _please!'_

Alphard grinned at her, kissed her again, and the continued walking back to the castle.

'Please don't disappear on me once school's over,' Alphard murmured as Selene leant her head on his shoulder. 'I really meant it when I said that I love you.'

Selene smiled up at him.

'I won't, so long as you don't disappear on me.'

Alphard chuckled.

'Oh, that'll never be.'

'I just… what about your parents?' Selene said uncomfortably.

Alphard waved a hand.

'Let's not ruin one of our last nights at Hogwarts with such talk,' he said dismissively. 'Tonight is purely about enjoying ourselves.'

Selene tripped over a stone and Alphard pulled her up before she fell.

'Dear me,' he laughed. 'Looks like someone had a bit too much wine.'

Selene shot him a reproving look, but he kissed her before she could tell him off.

--

That night, Selene lay in bed, smiling. She finally felt as though everything was working out as it should- that her resolve was set, and that she had figured her life out.

'Again with those owls!' Malkin growled from the bed next to her. 'How many magazines did you bloody order?'

'Sorry,' Selene said, frowning as she went to let the owl in.

She swallowed as she recognised his writing and felt her hands shaking as she took the parcel from the owl.

But it wasn't a letter. It was a long box, and Selene's eyes widened as she opened the box to see a silver necklace with an intricate, tear-shaped pendant, with diamond detail.

She looked for a note, and then saw a small bit of parchment inside the box.

_Thank you._

She felt winded. All her resolve and decisiveness of before had crumbled the second she fastened the necklace around her neck.

She lay back in bed. As she fingered the necklace, she felt her confused emotions overwhelming her.

She turned to her pillow and and, before she could stop herself, started crying into her pillow.

'Why do you have to make my life so difficult, Tom?' she whispered through her tears.

* * *

'Let's get this over with quickly. No sentimentality about this being the final patrol or anything,' Tom said the next morning as soon as she went to meet him.

Selene looked at him, but said nothing. He was taken aback by her muteness. Usually, she was ready with a scathing remark, but today she had red eyes and avoided looking at him.

He started questioning whether he had been right in getting her that necklace. He had only done it so that he was not in her debt for helping him. He hated being indebted to someone, and wanted to take care of it as soon as possible. He wasn't sure how, but he figured jewellery was a relatively risk-free way of repaying the favour.

Now, with how she was ignoring him, he wondered if she had perhaps misread the message behind the necklace.

He decided that a spot of legilimency was in order. He hated guessing people's emotions. They were so unpredictable.

'Selene,' he said suddenly.

She looked up at him, as he knew she would, and his eyes widened in shock as he suddenly saw the images running through her mind. Images of him and her…

She looked away quickly, her cheeks bright scarlet.

'Are you… are you _fantasising_ about me?' Tom spluttered, sounding mortified, and deeply embarrassed.

Selene clenched her fists.

'You shouldn't read my mind,' she said through gritted teeth. 'There's a reason for why thoughts are meant to be _private_.'

'Look, Asteria, I only gave you that necklace yesterday as a means of repaying you for helping me. It didn't _mean_ anything.'

'I know that,' Selene said through gritted teeth.

'I don't understand…'

'You don't need to!' Selene said hotly. 'Mind your own business from now on.'

'Listen, I think you've gotten the wrong impression here,' Tom seethed. 'You're a mudblood. I'm a descendent of Slytherin. I wouldn't _ever_ consider you for…'

'Look, Tom,' Selene snapped, 'You saw something you didn't like. Thtat's too bad, because you shouldn't have looked. Just because I have certain _thoughts_, it doesn't mean that they're voluntary. I wouldn't be with you if you were the last person on this planet!'

Tom and Selene glared at each other, though there was an edge of uncertainty to it.

He snorted.

'I knew I shouldn't have asked you for help. You silly girls- you always take one question to mean love or something just as ridiculous.'

Selene whipped out her wand.

'You listen to me, Tom,' she said acidly. 'I got out of bed the morning of my exam, to help you pass yours. But if this is how you repay me- with such ungrateful words- then you can take your _fucking_ necklace and just _fuck _off,' she shouted as she struggled to rip the necklace from her neck.

'I put an anti-breakage charm on it,' Tom said quietly. 'Keep it. I don't want it. It's been on your _mudblood skin._'

Selene dropped her hand in hurt and shock at his words. She didn't even try stopping the tears from streaming down her cheeks as she watched him walk away.

* * *

**Next chapter, we're invited to the Valedictory Ball for the class of '45…**

'_You know what, Tom? I will. I will go back to my 'foolish Black', as you call him, because he loves me. You scorn him for loving me- and me him- and yet all you've ever done is hurt me. You don't love me. I doubt you even know what 'love is'…' _

**Yes! It's the second last Hogwarts chapter. Very sad business, indeed. **

**So please make sure you review, and I shall try getting the next chapter to you as soon as I can!**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	24. Chapter 24: Farewell, My Lord

"_**Farewell, my dearest sister, fare thee well:**__**  
**__**The elements be kind to thee, and make**__**  
**__**Thy spirits all of comfort! fare thee well."**_

**- **'Antony and Cleopatra'-** Shakespeare

* * *

**

**Farewell, My Lord**

'Selene, can you try on this dress for me? I want to see if I got all the measurements perfect.'

Selene's shoulders fell.

'Malkin, don't tell me that you've made _another_ dress for me!' Selene exclaimed.

'Of course! You're Head Girl. Everyone will be watching you tomorrow. It's imperative that you have a wonderful dress.'

Selene shook her head at Malkin, but started undressing nonetheless.

'Have you at least made a dress for yourself as well?'

'No, I'll just wear the dress I was given for Christmas.'

'Malkin!'

Malkin laughed at Selene and started tapping her wand at various points on the dress.

'Selene,' Malkin laughed. 'Haven't you realised that you're my model by now? If I ever have a fashion label, you'll be the face of it and model all my dresses. You're perfect.'

'Malkin, I don't see how you can say this when you yourself…'

'No. Your body has the perfect proportions. If I lose weight, it comes off my chest and all the wrong places. You, on the other hand… well, everything's perfect,' Malkin said simply.

Selene blushed and Malkin cleared her throat smartly.

'Right. Enough of this. Lift up your arms, please. I have quite a bit of work to finish if this is going to be perfect by tomorrow evening.'

* * *

'Oh, I _am _good,' Malkin grinned as she added the final touches to Selene's dress.

Selene looked up at Malkin.

'Can I see, now?'

'No, no, I need to do your hair and makeup.'

'What? What's wrong with my hair?'

Malkin smirked, and merely sat Selene down and started working her wand through Selene's hair.

--

'Is it too much?' Selene said uncomfortably, as Alphard merely stared at her.

He swallowed thickly and kissed her lips softly.

'I've never seen anyone so beautiful my entire life,' he said seriously.

Selene blushed.

'I hope you're not going to turn into a shmuck on me again,' she grinned.

Alphard smiled at her and kissed her again.

'No, I'm not. But you really do look extraordinarily beautiful tonight.'

'It's all Malkin's work,' Selene shrugged, motioning at her dress.

The dress was an ivory silk floor length gown. It had crystal bead details all over the bodice, making the gown surprisingly heavy. Her dark brown hair had been set in long shiny waves which rippled down her back, all the way to her waist.

Her jewellery was simple. Malkin had spotted Tom's necklace on Selene's dresser, and was adamant that it was perfect to complete her look. As Selene didn't want to explain why Tom had given her a necklace, she begrudgingly wore the piece.

'Shall we?' Alphard said, offering his arm to Selene.

Selene smiled and they made their way to the Great Hall, which was slowly filling with Seventh Year students wearing colourful dress robes.

'I think we're meant to split and sit in our Houses,' Selene whispered to Alphard as they entered the Hall.

Alphard grinned at Selene.

'Well, make sure you save the first dance for me once you've won all the awards,' he whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek again before walking off to the Ravenclaw table.

* * *

'Welcome, students, to your Valedictory Dinner,' Professor Dippet said. 'Before we tuck into the marvellous feast which the Hogwarts elves have prepared, however, we have a few awards to hand out to acknowledge the academic achievements of certain exceptional students.

Tom held his breath hopefully. He had always wanted to win Dux of his year, but was now uncertain as to whether he would. After all, his grades hadn't been exceptional towards the end, due to his being distracted by his horcrux planning.

'The Prize for Charms… Tom Riddle and Selene Asteria, shared.'

Selene and Tom rose from their tables and walked to the podium, where they collected their prizes.

'Never thought you'd have to share a prize with a mudblood, did you?' Selene whispered through her teeth as she smiled at the school. .

'School's gone to the dogs,' Tom muttered, also forcing a smile as the applause died down.

'The prize for Potions, Selene Asteria and Tom Riddle, shared.'

'This is going to get boring,' Tom muttered.

'We'll see,' Selene said.

'The prize for Defence Against the Dark Arts- Tom Riddle, and Selene Asteria, shared.'

'Hmm, perhaps you have a point,' Selene muttered to Tom, who smirked.

'The prize for Transfiguration, Konstantin Nikopol.'

The Hall erupted into grateful applause for a different name.

Konstantin stood next to Selene on the podium.

'Well done,' she smiled at him.

'And you, you're cleaning up quite well. You look beautiful, by the way,' he added, his cheeks turning pink.

Selene blushed, and they looked to Dippet for the next Award.

'The prize for Arithmancy, Alphard Black.'

Selene beamed at Alphard and couldn't help feeling proud of him for winning an award.

'Well done!' she said.

'It was inevitable that my marks in Arithmancy would go up as soon as you left,' he grinned.

'The prize for History of Magic, Selene Asteria and Malkin Lefevre.'

Malkin's eyes widened in shock and she hurried up to the podium and hugged Selene excitedly.

'Good work, history partner,' Malkin said, linking arms with Selene who smiled happily back at her.

'The prize for Care of Magical Creatures, Sean Wilson.'

'That bastard,' Malkin hissed through her teeth.

'Ah forget it, he's not worth it,' Selene sighed.

'I suppose you don't want to come between your boyfriend and his friend,' Malkin said thoughtfully. 'Doesn't stop him being a bastard, though.'

'The prize for Ancient Runes, Tom Riddle and Konstantin Nikopol, shared.'

Tom smirked at Selene who shrugged.

'Well done. You beat me at _something_,' she said sarcastically.

He stood behind her and leant forward and whispered in her ear—

'Nice necklace,' he murmured. 'I seem to recall you calling it the 'vilest thing on the planet'.'

Selene shivered as she felt his breath tickling her ear.

'No, Tom, that would be you,' she muttered.

'The prize for Herbology, Selene Asteria and Tom Riddle, shared.'

'The prize for Astronomy, Selene Asteria and Augusta Wilkins.'

Augusta came to the podium and smiled at Selene.

'Well done. I suppose that poster we all made paid off,' she said.

'I think so,' Selene smiled.

'The prize for Divination, Malkin Lefevre and Konstantin Nikopol'

'The prize for Muggle Studies, Malkin Lefevre and Florean Fortescue.'

Florean came to the podium and kissed Malkin's cheek.

'You, my dear, have done very well tonight!' he whispered to her. 'And you thought you wouldn't do well?'

'The prize for Excellence in Duelling, Selene Asteria.'

Selene smirked at Tom who scowled back at her as she went to collect her prize.

'The prize for Excellence in Quidditch, Alphard Black and Richard Jenkins, shared.'

Selene smiled at Alphard again, who blushed happily.

'The prize for Excellence in Music, Muriel Weasley.'

Selene smiled and clapped for Muriel, whose complexion became as red as her hair as she came to the podium and accepted the prize.

'And now,' Dippet said, pausing as he waited for the applause to die down, 'it is my pleasure to announce that prize for Academic Excellence goes to Tom Riddle.'

The Hall went silent, and then the Slytherins burst out into applause for Tom. No one had expected him to win the 'second-best' prize for Academics. Everyone had expected him to be the Dux of the year.

'And finally,' Dippet said, clearing his throat. 'It is my pleasure to announce that the Dux of the Graduating Year of 1945… Selene Asteria.'

The Hall erupted into applause, and Tom felt as though he'd been slapped. She, the mudblood, had beaten him yet again.

Suddenly, he felt the unfairness of it all tearing away at his insides. He had ripped his soul in two and was preparing to do more, just to achieve greatness in magic, and yet _she_ had won the prize?

He could barely look at her.

'And now, as per tradition, I would ask the Head Boy and Head Girl to take to the floor for the first dance of the evening.'

He felt her looking at him, could smell her scent as she came in front of him, but could not look at her.

'Come on Tom,' she whispered. 'Why don't we put our past behind us? If tonight's to be the last time we ever see each other, let's at least end it on a good note.'

He glanced at Dippet who nodded towards the dance floor, and he reluctantly lead her to the floor and pulled her to him as they began to dance to the slow waltz.

'The awards mean nothing,' she said, after a while of dancing in silence. 'I know you're better than me. You know of things I've never even heard of. Just because I did better on paper than you did, I know that your knowledge far surpasses my own.'

He looked at her, shocked at the admission, and she smiled at him tentatively.

'So do you forgive me for their decision?'

'I suppose I can't blame you for Dippet turning into a muggle-loving fool,' Tom said irritably.

Selene bit her lip to suppress her smile, and drew closer to him. His breath caught, and his grip around her waist tightened.

'Tom, I don't want you to think of me as a worthless mudblood,' she whispered in his ear. 'Because that's not what I am, and you know it. Just because my knowledge of magic isn't as in-depth as yours is, it doesn't mean that I'm not talented in my own way.'

He glanced at her, and shook his head. He didn't want to discuss such matters anymore. He just wanted to savour her warmth for the last time.

'Don't speak,' he murmured. 'Just… '

He trailed off and Selene looked up at him.

'What?'

'Your worthless Black is watching us,' he said grimly. 'He's jealous. His friend has been feeding his suspicions.'

Selene sighed exasperatedly.

'He'll be okay. And don't call him worthless.'

'I'll call it as I see it. Then again, I suppose that's all you could ever amount to.'

'You're starting to make me angry, Tom,' Selene said through gritted teeth. 'And I had hoped that we could end on a better note than this.

'Well you hoped wrong,' Tom said coldly.

The song finished and Tom nodded to her.

'Goodbye.'

Selene stared at him as he stalked out of the Great Hall, and then blinked as she realised that was Tom's way of goodbye.

Ignoring Alphard and Malkin and Florean, all who were approaching where she was standing, she ran out of the Great Hall.

* * *

'Well, they seem cosy,' Sean said to Alphard, as he watched Selene take to the dance floor with Tom. 'They've known each other their entire lives, haven't they?'

'Sean, stop it,' Alphard said through gritted teeth.

'I'm just curious,' Sean said. 'Does she ever look at you in that way- that hopefully, that desperately? Merlin, she looks like she'd lick his dirtiest shoes clean just to gain an ounce of approval from him. Honestly, what does she see in him?'

'Sean, I said stop it,' Alphard repeated.

His blood was already boiling at the thought that Riddle had stolen the first dance with Selene. It was made much worse by Sean's comments, however, because he knew that they were all true.

'I just don't get it, though,' Sean continued. 'What does she _see_ in him, that you don't have?'

The music finished, and Alphard pushed past Sean.

'You can be a real wanker, sometimes,' he shot scathingly to his friend as he went to go to Selene.

'Oh, but she's run off after him,' Sean whispered to Alphard, who stopped still as he saw Selene running after Tom. 'It seems she's chosen her man, after all. Bad luck, Alphie,' he said, patting Alphard on the shoulder and going back to the Ravenclaw table.

* * *

'Tom!'

He turned on his heel and walked right back up to Selene. She stared up into his eyes searchingly.

'Let go of whatever romantic notions you've developed of me in your mind,' he hissed. 'They're delusions.'

She shook her head at him.

'I won't let that be our goodbye. Tom, we've known each other longer than anyone else in the world! Surely that has to count for something?'

Tom shook his head at her.

'It means nothing to me,' he said acidly. 'It means nothing, because I don't care for such sentimental foolishness. Go back to your foolish Black. He'll give you all that ridiculous love which you so yearn for.'

Selene crossed her arms, hating that he was drawing Alphard back into the argument. 'You know what, Tom? I will. I will go back to my 'foolish Black', as you call him, because he _loves_ me. You scorn him for loving me- and me him- and yet all you've ever done is hurt me. You don't love me. I doubt you even know what 'love is', and yet you constantly try telling me that Alphard's not good enough. Why would it bother you in the slightest, that we love each other, if you didn't care for me at all?'

Tom glared at her and raised a hand. Selene flinched and he laughed softly as he ran his hand through his hair.

'This is what you want?' he said incredulously. 'You want a life of living in fear of me? I can never love you, Selene, and never touch you, because it would be going against my ideology of eugenics.'

Selene glared at him.

'So- if we were to hypothetically together, this is what would happen. You would live in a room, in secret, and you would be miserable. You would be forced to be a slave to my work and, let me tell you, my work is not the pretty theory you've been taught in a Hogwarts classroom. Is that what you _really _want? You want to subject yourself to a life of that, simply because you can't accept that we have to become strangers to each other after today?'

Selene stared at him and he felt his heart beating erratically again as he saw how honest her hazel eyes were. He didn't need to perform Legilimency to know her thoughts.

They leant forward until their lips met. At first, the kiss was gentle- as though a parting kiss- but then neither of them could let go. He pulled her to him and she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly as they stumbled through the corridor to an empty classroom.

As he lifted her, there was the sound of a rip, and the crystal beads from her gown flew everywhere as a large split appeared along the seam of the dress.

'Malkin's going to kill me,' Selene muttered, looking at the split.

She turned to look at Tom who was still looking at her uncertainly.

'Okay, then,' she nodded, feeling her heart beating desperately. 'No more after tonight. We'll each go our separate ways. It'll be as though we never knew each other. But just… can't we have tonight, without pretending to hate each other?'

Tom shook his head.

'I'm sorry, I can't afford such weakness,' he said quietly.

He hesitated and licked his lips quickly.

'You… you make me weaker Selene. Something about you, it brings out this side to me which I can't afford to have. I can't afford to be hesitant, or to worry about you or to…'

He trailed off.

'It'll be for the best if you and I never see each other again. That way, I won't have to wonder how you're doing, or if you're with someone who's not got enough for you or…'

He trailed off and cleared his throat quickly.

'And I'll be able to get on with my life. I'll be able to fulfil my destiny.'

'Because, if I'm there, I'll change your destiny?' Selene said dully.

He nodded.

'With you, I would be ordinary. But I need to be extraordinary.'

Selene became very still as she watched how his eyes flashed as he contemplated such greatness.

'I… I understand,' she said quietly, looking down at her hands.

'You do?' Tom said, surprised.

'Yes,' she smiled, cupping his cheek. 'I do, Tom. I mightn't agree with it- I might be scared of what you'll end up as- but this is who you are. I couldn't change that- just like you could never make me agree with your ideologies.'

Tom looked as though he didn't know what to say, and Selene leant forward and kissed his lips softly.

'You know,' she said, her voice shaking through her tears. 'It should have been us. We should have grown up as, not enemies, and… and…'

She looked away and wiped her eyes.

'Tom, we don't have anyone. Our parents died or abandoned us. I have friends, but they're not family. Even though we're not related, you're really all the family I feel I have.'

Tom said nothing, but she could tell that he understood what she was speaking of.

'If I get married, someday, will you come give me away?' Selene said, wiping her ears hastily and forcing a smile.

Tom snorted.

'Me? At a wedding?'

'But it'd be for me.'

He shook his head.

'I don't think so. I could never give you away to another man. He almost certainly would not be good enough.'

Selene laughed but then sighed bitterly.

'It's funny. Even though we never got along as all, I know I'll miss you.'

'I suppose I'll miss having someone who so happily subjects herself to torment,' Tom said begrudgingly.

Selene smiled at him and they both looked down at the ground.

'Well, I guess I should go back to the Ball. Will you come back as well?'

Tom shook his head.

'No, I've made my token appearance. I have things to do.'

'Evil things?' Selene grinned.

'Would you expect anything else of me?'

Selene stared at him, and then suddenly hugged him tightly. He was startled at first, not sure if he could remember a time when anyone had ever hugged him. As she did it, he almost felt compelled to take back everything he had told her that evening.

Because that hug was something else- it wasn't desperate or lustful like kissing. It was just warm, and secure. It felt as though, in her arms, he would always be happy, and that happiness would be worth more than anything in the world.

But she drew away from the hug before he could act upon this impulse.

'Goodluck, Tom. I'll never forget you,' she said quietly.

He blinked dazedly, and with a final smile and kiss on the cheek, she left the classroom.

* * *

She was cornered as soon as she returned to the Great Hall.

'Where were you?'

She looked up at Alphard and kissed him tentatively.

'Can we go for a walk? I'd like to tell you something.'

He blinked in surprise, but couldn't help but accepting her request. They sat down on a bench, and Selene took his hand.

'You keep asking me about Tom. I know you're going to ask again, so I thought I'd just tell you. There _is_ nothing between us, and never has been. It's just… it's hard to explain, really. I guess it's as simple as the fact that we've known each other for longer than anyone else and, because of that, we have this very strange relationship where we have hated each other- predominantly- but also felt some kind of loyalty or… _something_ towards each other as well.'

Alphard opened his mouth, but Selene interrupted him.

'We just said goodbye, that's all,' she shrugged. 'He's not coming back to the orphanage. I don't think I'll ever see him again.'

Alphard's eyes lit up, and it hurt Selene that he was so happy about something which hurt her so deeply

'Yes, really,' she sighed. 'So there's nothing for you to question me about. But now you know why I find it hard to completely hate him, when I really should have at times.'

Alphard nodded and ran a hand through his hair.

'I'll admit, I was going half crazy in that Hall, thinking that you were…'

'I wasn't.'

'I know, I'm sorry. Can you forgive me for doubting you?'

Selene kissed him.

'It's my fault. I should have just explained it like this to you from the beginning. It's just… I don't quite understand the relationship I have with him myself, so it's hard to explain it to someone else.'

'Well, he's gone now anyway, so it doesn't matter,' Alphard said, toying with a tendril of her hair. 'Now, shall we return to the Ball? You still owe me at least three dances.'

'Three?'

'You promised me the first dance, but Riddle took it. So yes, now you have to dance three dances with me to make amends,' Alphard grinned.

Selene smiled at him and he kissed the tip of her nose.

'Shall we?'

Selene took his hand as they returned to the Great Hall.

* * *

'Selene Asteria, can you please explain to me why in Circe's name your gown which I toiled over day and night to perfect, has a sex tear?'

'A what?' Selene said aghast, stopping in her tracks on her way to the bathroom.

'This,' Malkin said stroppily, pointing to the tear which split from the floor of the gown to mid-thigh.

Selene blushed as she remembered Tom's kisses, and felt a painful twinge in her chest as she remembered that they would now be strangers to each other.

'Oh, I… I tripped.'

'You tripped,' Malkin said disbelievingly.

'Umm… yes.'

'Did you get naughty with Alphard?'

Selene ignored Malkin and walked into the bathroom. Malkin followed suit.

'Well?'

'No. Not with Alphard,' Selene said disconcertingly as she fingered Tom's necklace absent-mindedly.

'That's a very pretty necklace. And they're real diamonds. Did Alphard get it for you?'

Selene cleared her throat uncomfortably.

'N…no.'

'Well?'

'Well what?' Selene said, avoiding Malkin's eyes.

'It's obviously new, as I've never seen it before. Who's it from?'

Selene bit her lip.

'My mother,' she said, cursing herself for lying.

'Your mother?' Malkin said disbelievingly. 'But you said that she was dead.'

'She is.'

'Well?'

'Dumbledore gave it to me on my birthday this year. He said that muggle's become 'of age' when they're 18, so their rules applied to me as my mother was a muggle. It was her necklace, and she left it for me for when I turned 18.'

Malkin's eyes widened.

'Wow! So you… have something from your mother! That must be very special.'

Selene swallowed thickly.

'Yes, this necklace is my most prized possession,' she said quietly.

'Maybe your mum had money… that necklace can't have been cheap.'

Selene looked up at Malkin suddenly.

'What, you think it was expensive?' she whispered.

Malkin shrugged.

'The diamonds aren't very big, but I'd say at least 200 galleons. At least.'

Selene's eyes widened.

'Wow.'

'So is that all you were left? Surely you were left something else,' Malkin pressed.

Selene left the bathroom.

'No, nothing else. Apparently it was all they were given at the orphanage.

Malkin smiled at Selene and hugged her.

'I'm so happy for you. I know having something of your mother's must mean a lot to you.'

Selene smiled uncomfortably. She hated the lie that her necklace had become.

'Yeah,' she lied softly. 'It… It means a lot. To have at least something to remember him by.'

'You mean- 'her',' Malkin corrected

'What? Oh, um, yes,' Selene said disconcertingly. 'Anyway, enough of that. I can't believe it's our final night here!'

'I know!' Malkin sighed. It's so sad. Which reminds me- I have news for you.'

'Well, I hope it's not sad,' Selene said.

Malkin shook her head.

'No, it's not. It's wonderful! Florean and I are going to tour Italy and France for the summer. Together! Isn't that lovely? He asked me at the Ball!'

Selene blinked.

'You're… you're both leaving over summer?' she said, trying to mask her disappointment.

'Oh,' Malkin said, her shoulder slumping. 'I… I forgot that Alphard would be gone as well. Surely… surely there will be someone who you can hang out with.'

Selene shrugged and got into bed.

'You're…well, you're welcome to come with us,' Malkin said tentatively.

Selene smiled at Malkin.

'That's nice of you, but it's okay. You two enjoy your time together. I need to organise my life this summer anyway.'

'But…'

'Really, you two have fun. When do you leave?'

'The day we return!' Malkin said, unable to mask her excitement.

Selene smiled.

'Well have fun. Make sure you at least send a postcard or two.'

Malkin laughed.

'Of course I will.'

'I know it's our last night here, but I'm going on a romantic stroll with Archie early tomorrow morning,' Augusta snapped, 'so could you please quieten down?'

'It's okay, we're going to sleep now,' Selene whispered. 'Goodnight everyone.'

'Night.'

Selene sighed and stared at the canopy of her bed as she absent-mindedly stroked her pendant. It came to the level of her heart.

If she couldn't see him, she could now at least have a part of him close to her

That would have to do. That would have to be enough for her.

* * *

**I've just been so tired lately and have had so much on my plate that my very big writing schedule has been turned upside down. I'm actually very naughty in finishing this chapter, as I'm meant to devote most of my time on my novel- Stained Glass- which is hopefully being edited by myself for the last time before FINALLY going to print. I'll be so happy the day I don't have to edit that book anymore...**

**But, I was so overwhelmed with your lovely reviews from the last chapter that I felt I had to finish this one.**

**Now, next chapter is going to be HUGE! It's the last school chapter, and Selene is having a very important meeting with Dumbledore.**

**Have we perhaps noticed a strange thing or two about Selene? Well, next chapter we're getting answers—**

'Asteria Curse? What on earth are you on about?' – Selene to Dumbledore.

AND

'No, Alphard, I haven't had a girlfriend because I don't fancy girls at all. I fancy men. Always have.' – Sean to Alphard.

**So please review away, and I shall hopefully be inspired to churn out the next chapter in record writing time for you all!**

**Much love, Anya**


	25. Chapter 25: Nothing Is But What Is Not

"_**And I, the mistress of your charms,**__**  
**__**The close contriver of all harms,**__**  
**__**Was never call'd to bear my part,**__**  
**__**Or show the glory of our art?"**_

Macbeth, **W. Shakespeare**

**

* * *

**

**Nothing Is But What Is Not**

Alphard hummed to himself pleasantly as he arrived at the boy's dormitories. He stopped when he saw Sean sitting on the end of his bed, smoking a joint.

'Took your time saying goodnight,' he said, not looking at Alphard as he walked in and loosened his tie.

'Not really. I just walked Selene to her Common Room.'

Sean smiled drily and Alphard came and sat next to him on the bed, and took the joint off Sean.

'The other two've nodded off, then?'

Sean smiled.

'Yeah, Keith smuggled a bottle of firewhisky and they both nipped off and finished it. They're completely out.'

Alphard laughed.

'Ah dear. Oh well, school's finished.'

'Yeah.'

They sat in silence, passing the joint between each other.

'Hey,' Sean said, his eyes lighting up. 'What say you to a visit to the Astronomy Tower? For old times' sakes?'

Alphard grinned and picked up his cloak.

'Let's go.'

--

They lay on the ground of the balcony of the tower, staring up at the sky.

'Shit.'

'What?'

'I really can't get over the fact that this is our last night here. How's it gone so quickly?'

Alphard took a drag from the joint and passed it back to Sean.

'I don't know. I feel like I've blinked and it's all over.'

'Hm. You still going to your cousin's wedding?'

'Yeah. Unfortunately.'

'So you're not going on that trip with Selene anymore?'

Alphard rubbed his eyes tiredly.

'No. Well, not until I come back, anyway. We'll have to organise it after then.'

'Wasn't she upset?'

Alphard frowned.

'I don't know. She didn't seem that upset, really. I think she was a bit relieved, truth be told. I think she was worried about us getting too close, too quickly.'

Sean chuckled.

'So I gather you haven't shagged her yet?'

'No. Course not!'

Sean snorted.

'What?' Alphard said, lighting up a fresh joint.

'Hearing you say 'course not' is what. It's as though you're fine with this new celibacy!'

'I don't mind it,' Alphard shrugged. 'She's different- I've told you.'

'Again, and again,' Sean sighed. 'Firewhiskey?'

Alphard screwed up his nose.

'Nah, don't like that stuff.'

Sean sat up and bit his lip tentatively.

'Say… I have two pills left, and want to get rid of them before we get home. It seems such a waste to toss them- you know, seeing as they're so expensive and all.'

Alphard sat up slowly.

'Vice?' he said uncertainly.

Sean nodded seriously.

'Hey, look, it's not as though we've ever been hooked on it!' he reasoned with Alphard.

Alphard chewed his lip uncertainly.

'I don't know… it really fucked Malkin up good.'

'Yeah, but we're cleverer than to use it like she did. Come on… one last time0 you and I?'

Alphard sighed, took the pill off Sean and swallowed it quickly. Sean grinned and followed suit.

Suddenly, Alphard let out a bark of a laugh.

'Fuck, I forgot how amazing this shit is! Oh sweet Circe, this is _amazing_!'

Sean laughed and Alphard blinked dazedly.

'Firewhiskey,' he said, taking the bottle off Sean and chugging it down quickly.

'Hey! Easy there!' Sean laughed, taking the bottle off Alphard and swigging from it.

Alphard laughed and closed his eyes dazedly.

'Hey, Alphie,' Sean said tentatively. 'I have something to tell you…'

'Why haven't you ever been with a bird?' Alphard demanded, ignoring Sean's comment. 'I swear, I've never seen you with one. What's with that?'

Sean sighed.

'Don't you fancy birds, then?'

'No, Alphard, I haven't had a girlfriend because I don't fancy girls at all. I fancy men. Always have,' Sean said wearily.

'Alphard laughed.

'Fancy men. Fancy men. Men in tutus…ha…ha….'

Sean's shoulders slumped. He had just admitted to his best friend that he was gay, but his friend was too far gone to understand what he was saying.

'Ah Alphie, I'll miss you,' he sighed, putting his arm around Alphard's shoulder. 'Make sure you don't forget me.'

'Forget…forget…forget me not!' Alphard sang dazedly.

* * *

It was surreal for Selene to sit in the Great Hall and know that breakfast would be her final breakfast at Hogwarts…forever.

She smiled ruefully as she saw the owls bringing students their final packages. She had never received an owl at breakfast. Not once in her entire seven years at the school.

She jumped in shock as an owl suddenly dropped a scroll in her lap. A letter addressed to her.

She smiled excitedly.

'Malkin! I got a letter!' she laughed happily.

Malkin raised her eyebrows incredulously.

'I sent you letters last year all the time.'

'But they never came at breakfast!'

Malkin rolled her eyes.

'Congratulations,' she said, turning back to Florean as they discussed their plans for the summer.

Selene smiled to herself happily and opened the scroll.

_Miss Asteria,_

_Kindly meet me in my office immediately after breakfast, today. We must discuss a matter of extreme importance._

_Kind Regards,_

_Professor Dumbledore_

Selene's breath caught as she wondered what could be so important that Dumbledore would ask her away from her final day celebrations.

--

'Come in.'

Selene swallowed nervously and walked into Dumbledore's office.

'You wanted to see me, sir?' she asked timidly.

Dumbledore nodded and motioned for her to sit in the armchair opposite his desk.

'Yes.'

'Oh,' Selene said. 'Am I in trouble, sir?'

Dumbledore laughed wearily.

'Oh no, not at all. I rather have some very important news for you.'

He sighed and sat down in his chair.

'Selene, I am afraid that what I am about to tell you will change your life forever. I have chosen now to tell you this, because I believe now to be the safest time to impart you with the knowledge of your heritage.'

Selene paled.

'My…my heritage?' she whispered.

Dumbledore looked at her over his half-moon spectacles.

'Selene, surely you have noticed that you have extraordinary powers for a witch of your age. Not to mention your unique talent of wandless magic.'

Selene's eyes widened.

'I'm not related to Tom, am I?' she said weakly.

Dumbledore shook his head.

'No, Tom is from another ancient bloodline. Yours, however, is far older and purer than his own.'

Selene blinked.

'I'm sorry? Did you just say- purer? I'm muggleborn! You told me so the day you came to the orphanage!'

Dumbledore sighed.

'I told you so for your protection.'

'Why would you do that?' Selene breathed.

Dumbledore shook his head.

'Allow me to first explain your heritage, and then my reasons for keeping it from you. It shall be easier that way.'

Selene merely watched him with wide eyes.

'Have you heard of Greek Mythology?'

'Of course,' Selene shrugged. 'Who hasn't?'

Dumbledore nodded gravely.

'And are you aware of Circe- the first witch on our planet? The first witch to have a wand?'

Selene nodded slowly.

'Yes…but…'

Her eyes widened and she laughed.

'Oh, if you're about to tell me that I'm related to Circe, sir, I don't think…'

'Please, Miss Asteria, just listen.'

Selene crossed her arms, an amused smile playing upon her lips.

'Are you aware of who Hecate is?'

'She's the goddess of the waning moon,' Selene shrugged.

'Yes, but she's more importantly the Goddess of Witchcraft. And Circe's mother.'

'Okay,' Selene shrugged. 'If you say so.'

'And Hecate's mother,' Dumbledore continued, watching Selene carefully, 'was the goddess Asteria. The goddess of the night sky and prophetic dreaming.'

Selene stared at Dumbledore blankly.

'Asteria?' she repeated.

'Yes,' Dumbledore said seriously. 'She was Hecate's mother, and Hecate was Circe's mother.'

Selene screwed her eyes tightly shut.

'And?' she said through gritted teeth. 'What's the relevance of all this to me?'

Dumbledore put the tips of his fingers together lightly.

'Circe had a daughter.'

'No she never. She only had sons,' Selene interrupted. 'I read about it. She had a few with Odysseus.'

Dumbledore nodded.

'She did have sons- sons who pursed non-magical lives and all died in battle. Once she had lost her sons, however, Circe was desperate for a daughter. Whether from loneliness or just the want for a daughter to impart her magical knowledge upon, it isn't known.'

'So Circe went to her grandmother- Asteria- and asked for a granddaughter. Asteria, who was known for abilities in prophetic dreaming, warned Circe that the child would bring Circe misery. Circe ignored her elders' warning and soon bore a daughter; Leda. Leda was like her mother in that she too was beautiful and also possessed a power of a similar strength to Circe.'

Selene merely watched Dumbledore and chewed her bottom lip. Dumbledore sighed and continued—

'Whilst Circe loved her daughter very much, she was also relentlessly possessive of her. Leda, being of a somewhat free-spirited nature- which I am sure you understand well- grew frustrated under her mother's watchful eye. One day, after an argument with her mother, Leda escaped from Circe's clutches. She lived a somewhat normal life, taking a husband and having children who would go on to have other children, passing on their magical powers and blood. Many years later, with her husband dead and children gone, Leda returned to her mother's island of Aeaea to see Circe again. She wanted to mend their broken relationship. Circe, however, was too wounded by her daughter's betrayal and the two fought, resulting in a deadly duel between the two. Leda was fatally wounded and none of Circe's magical herbs or potions, for which she was so renown, could save her own daughter.'

Selene sat up.

'She… her own daughter? Circe _killed_ her own daughter?' she whispered, aghast.

Dumbledore nodded seriously.

'Yes, she did. And Circe, rife with guilt and grief over the death of her beloved daughter, went back to Asteria and begged for her to revive her daughter. Asteria, you see, was also known for her powers of necromancy.'

'Raising the dead?' asked Selene.

Dumbledore sighed heavily.

'Necromancy is simply communicating with the dead. Unfortunately for Circe, Asteria said that she could not bring back her daughter from the dead. Indeed, there is no known way to bring back someone from the dead without ghastly consequences.'

Selene shivered.

'Asteria gave Circe one last option to ease her pain; to put a curse on Leda's body and create another child in Leda's exact image. This has been called 'the Asteria Curse'.'

Selene blinked, bewildered.

'Asteria Curse? What on earth are you on about?' she breathed, shaking her head hopelessly.

'We're nearly there,' Dumbledore said gently. 'Asteria put a curse on Leda's body. The consequence of this curse- the 'Asteria curse', was that when that child born of the curse died, another child- again, in the image of Leda would appear. This child would also be affected by the curse, and this curse would continue to take place each time a 'daughter of Asteria' would die. Circe, mad with grief, accepted this and the curse was performed; ensuring that her bloodline would be continued for all eternity.'

Dumbledore paused and watched Selene as she struggled to comprehend all that he had told her.

'So… so Circe's daughter- that Leda girl- died, and that Asteria Curse made another baby from her body… a baby which was exactly like Leda?'

Dumbledore smiled kindly.

'No, a baby which was only like Leda in magical ability and appearance. Genetics only account for so much of a person's personality.'

Selene blinked mind just clicked, and she laughed.

'Hang on, are you trying to tell me that I'm one of the 'daughters'? That I'm…'

She laughed again.

'Oh, very funny. Did Malkin put you up to this? Alphard? Tom, even, as a end of year joke?'

Dumbledore's lips twitched.

'No, indeed this is no joke Selene. This is very real, and very serious.'

'But… you're telling me that I'm a descendent from Circe! The daughter of the goddess of Magic! If that's not a ridiculous concept, I don't know what is.'

'But Selene,' Dumbledore said gently, 'All pureblood wizards- and indeed muggleborns to some extent- are descendents from Circe. From Leda's children. Yes, the ancestral connection is long, but every single pureblood wizard can trace their bloodline back to Leda- and Circe. Circe, you see, was the first witch.'

'So…. So you're related to Circe?' Selene asked.

'Very distantly, yes. As is Malkin, and Alphard and… any other of your friends who have magical ability. Whilst muggleborns themselves are more loosely connected, it is of my theory that they must have someone in their ancestral heritage who comes from the Circe's bloodline.'

Selene rubbed her temples, looking very overwhelmed with the information she had just received.

'So are you saying that I'm a cursed copy of Circe's dead daughter? I have no father, no mother, no…'

Selene put her face in her hands and started breathing heavily.

'This is too much,' she whispered. 'I was very happy not knowing.'

Dumbledore rose from his desk and came around and sat in the armchair next to Selene.

'I understand that that this is very difficult for you to accept. Whilst your genetic mother was Circe, the daughters of the line have generally referred to their predecessors as their 'mother'.'

'My 'mother' had to die for me to be born,' Selene said, sounding disgusted. 'I'm the product of death.'

Her eyes widened, horrified—

'Oh God, that means that when I die…a…. a…..another….'

Dumbledore nodded gravely.

'Yes. Another daughter will be born.'

Selene put her face in her hands again.

'This is too much, too much,' she muttered again.

She looked up suddenly.

'And who was my mother, then?'

Dumbledore's blue eyes gazed at the fireplace in his room for a few seconds.

'Your mother was Aliki Asteria. I was at school with her, and we were good friends. She was certainly one of the most talented witches I've ever come across and, like you, had a natural gift for magic. That is not to say that she didn't have to properly harness her gift, but magical concepts generally came to her much more quickly than most students. She also had a very strong gift of wandless magic.'

Selene crossed her arms.

'That's why I can do wandless magic,' she said quietly.

Dumbledore nodded.

'I doubt many students at your age could perform such feats of wandless magic otherwise.'

'Tom can.'

Dumbledore's blue eyes turned icy at the mention of Tom, and Selene frowned.

'Yes, well, Tom…'

Dumbeldore smiled lightly.

'Never mind. He, as I expect you know, is a descendent of Salazar Slytherin.'

'Is that why?'

'Hm,' Dumbledore said, watching his fireplace again.

Selene expected that Dumbledore was not being entirely truthful with her, but had too many other questions.

'So how did my….my mother die?' Selene said.

'Alki Asteria was in my year at school,' Dumbledore said. 'Except she was in the house of Ravenclaw. I… her death was a tragedy.'

'Greek tragedies, all of it. Am I destined to be yet another Greek tragedy in the Asteria blood line?' Selene said, sounding frustrated.

Dumbledore smiled kindly.

'No. It's not what you are, but who you make yourself that determines your life, Selene. I want you to remember that.'

Selene did not seem convinced.

'Well Aliki's death, as it happens, was not the product of her bloodline. It was quite unrelated.'

Selene watched Dumbledore, waiting.

'Have you heard of the wizard, Gellert Grindelwald?'

'Of course,' Selene said easily. 'Was it him?' she asked suddenly, sitting up. 'Did he kill her?'

Dumbledore stared into the fire.

'Aliki had told me all about her bloodline when she found out through her magical adoptive parents. To my knowledge, I am the only person she trusted with the information.'

'What happened to her? And how does Grindelwald fit?' Selene interrupted.

'Alki,' Dumbledore said uneasily, 'Fell in love with Grindelwald.'

Selene stared at Dumbledore in disbelief.

'With…_him_? But he was so evil!'

Dumbledore glanced at Selene, and she froze as she thought of Tom.

She looked away quickly, blushing.

'So, she loved Grindelwald?'

Dumbledore nodded slowly.

'Yes. But Grindelwald did not love her. He, rather, preferred the opposite sex.'

Selene looked taken aback.

'He was…he was a homosexual?'

Dumbledore shrugged lightly.

'Yes.'

'But were they friends or something?'

Dumbledore shook his head.

'Not exactly. He never really gave him the time of his day. It was a very unrequited love on her behalf. She admired his magical powers- at the time he was not evil- and his good looks, not to mention his very charming personality.'

Selene felt uneasy at how much of Aliki's sounded like her relationship with Tom. But, then again, she was fairly certain that Tom wasn't gay.

'Aliki,' Dumbledore sighed, 'always tried many ways to win Grindelwald's affections- but he was constantly disinterested. One day… one day she found him. With another man.'

Dumbledore spoke very softly, and slowly.

'She went mad at the betrayal and, within the hour, had killed herself.'

'Suicide?' Selene whispered, shivering again.

Dumbledore nodded heavily.

'Yes. I felt it was my responsibility to her to see that you were taken care of. She died on May 29, 1927. The next day, you appeared in place of her body, and I placed you in your orphanage, not knowing that another wizard would also be left there. I made arrangements for your enrolment into Hogwarts for when the time came. On that note, it is time that I give you the key to your vault at Gringotts- Vault 339. As you are about to leave school, I think you are certainly responsible now to handle your monetary affairs.'

'I… I have money?' Selene said, stunned.

'Oh yes. Aliki's parents were quite wealthy. She left you quite an inheritance,' Dumbledore said kindly.

Selene smiled, but then frowned.

'But… sir, I'm the product of suicide! I'm….'

She swallowed thickly.

'I was born from something terrible,' she said quietly. 'I was born cursed- in more ways than one.'

Dumbledore put a reassuring hand on Selene's shoulder.

'Selene,' he said firmly, 'What happened to Aliki, and what she did with her life has no bearing on you. It is not who you are, and I don't want you to think that you should head down her path as well.'

Selene cast a frightened look at Dumbledore, wondering if he had any idea about Tom.

'But… why me?' she whispered, tears springing to her eyes. 'Why not someone else.'

Dumbledore smiled kindly at her.

'Selene, your heritage can be both a curse, and a gift. It is up to you what you do with it. You have phenomenal powers and ability, and I know you are a very good person at heart. You can do a lot to make this world a better place with your ability. I can't speak from experience, but I believe that if you try to gain as much positive from your heritage, that is the best you can do. Yes, there are aspects of it which are unusual, but you have also been given great power as well. Only remember that with great power, comes great responsibility. Remember to use your powers wisely.'

Selene bowed her head.

'Can… can I tell people about this? Why didn't you tell me earlier? Why didn't you tell me all this that day you came to tell me I was a witch?'

Dumbledore looked down.

'Selene,' he said tentatively. 'I feel I can say this now, as you are no longer a student of Hogwarts.'

He took a deep breath.

'Tom Riddle must never know of your heritage.'

Selene froze.

'Tom?' she whispered. 'Why not?'

Her heart sank a little at this, as she had wondered if the news of her heritage might finally make him accept her.

Dumbledore looked at Selene very seriously.

'Tom, as I'm sure you know, has no desire to follow a path of good magic. He is also very power-hungry. I noticed this the first time I saw him- and had seen how he had stolen your fellow orphans' possessions. That is why I saw you separately to tell you that you were going to Hogwarts, and this is why I refrained from telling you the truth about your heritage until now. Otherwise, I would have told you as soon as you came 'Of Age'.'

'But…'

'Tom is a very gifted legilimens. He would have realised something. Now that you are going your separate ways, however, I feel it is safe to give you this knowledge. But, should you ever see him again, I would ask that you close your mind. It is for your safety.'

'Tom wouldn't…'

'Selene, he would,' Dumbledore said seriously. 'He does not know the concept of loyalty, or kindness. He would charm you into perhaps even losing your life for his own gain. I say this for your own good, Selene.'

Selene looked down, feeling salty tears stinging at her eyes.

'And… Malkin, and Florean, and Alphard?'

Dumbledore looked hesitant.

'I wouldn't,' he said hesitantly. 'You may trust them implicitly, but you never know what could happen. They are always at risk of letting things slip. Especially Mr Black. I imagine your meeting his family may be problematic because of your supposed 'muggleborn' background. I would hate for the news of your heritage to spill out due to a heated argument between him and his parents.

'But why…'

'Because, it could always come back to power-hungry witches and wizards who would want to exploit you for your blood line. Selene, the Blacks are notorious for their stance on blood. Indeed, their family mott- 'Toujours Pur'- means 'always pure'.'

Selene furrowed her brow.

'Are you saying that Alphard…'

'No, not Alphard, but his family. I think you would be best advised to keep your heritage a secret. For now, at least.'

Selene's shoulders slumped and Dumbledore glanced at the clock.

'Heavens! It's time for the End of Year feast. Do you have any other questions, Selene?'

She shook her head, feeling numb, and stood up.

'Thank you, sir.'

Dumbledore walked her to the door of his office.

'And Selene, should you have any questions or want to discuss this further, feel free to owl me at any time. Do you understand?'

Selene nodded.

'Thank you, sir,' she said again, smiling weakly and leaving the office.

She walked through the corridors in a daze. Her entire world had been turned upside down within an hour. One minute, she had been an ordinary muggle-born witch, and the next…

She was a witch with the purest magical blood on earth.

She turned suddenly as she heard someone retching around the corner. She didn't really care- she was beyond feeling at this point- but she walked over to where two boys were both throwing up violently in a rubbish bin.

'Fuck… never doing Vice again,' Alphard said, wiping his mouth weakly and leaning back against the wall. He jumped as he opened his eyes and saw Selene watching him blankly.

'Shit! No, I…' he stammered. 'I… I just got a bit drunk last night. I didn't…'

'Do Vice?' Selene said in a monotonous voice.

'Listen, Selene, don't…'

She shook her head.

'I have to go. I'm late for lunch.'

'Wait! Selene, baby, wait…'

Selene laughed hollowly.

'Don't 'baby' me. Look, I don't care that you did Vice. I really don't. I've got enough things to worry about at the moment without your silly decisions to add to the burden.'

Alphard stood back, as though he'd been slapped.

'You don't care that I did Vice?' he said.

'No,' Selene said simply. 'I really don't.'

Alphard's brow furrowed.

'You don't care?'

'I've got to go,' she said, trying to walk away.

'That's just it, isn't it?' Alphard called after her. 'You don't care about me at all, do you?'

Selene stopped and turned to face him. She forced a smile.

'Oh, Alphie, of course I do. It's just that my life's been turned upside down in the last hour, and your silly decision to take drugs last night is not very high up on my list of priorities at the moment. I'll see you on the train,' she said, kissing his cheek and walking off.

'Ice queen. Does she have _any_ feelings at _all_?' Sean said, coming up to Alphard.

Alphard stared after her.

'Trust me, sometimes I wonder myself,' he muttered.

He suddenly clapped a hand to his mouth and ran back to the rubbish bin and continued to throw up.

* * *

Selene avoided everyone on the train. Despite her attempts to put her blood aside for the day, she just couldn't forget it. Instead, she wandered the aisles of the train aimlessly, mulling over the information she had received.

What confused her was that, as huge a deal as the information was, it didn't really change anything. It didn't suddenly make anything different or give her any extra ability or anything.

It merely explained things.

But the fact that it didn't give her anything to do made her even more confused, because she felt as though she should be _doing_ something, but had no idea _what_ she was supposed to do.

'So you're going back to the orphanage, then?'

Selene looked up, horrified, to see Tom standing behind her. His eyes were hardened- as though he was going through an internal struggle- and his mouth was set in a hard line.

She looked into his eyes, but then remembered what Dumbledore had told her and gasped as she looked away.

'I… I have to go,' she gasped, pushing past him.

'What?' he breathed, confused by her reaction.

'I can't…'

She pushed him away and ran for the bathroom. She gasped as the door opened after her and he walked in.

'What's wrong with you?' he said incredulously.

'I can't see you ever again,' she said, leaning over the sink. 'I thought we agreed that when we said goodbye the other night.'

'And what if I changed my mind?' Tom said quietly.

Selene laughed hopelessly and rested her forehead against the wall.

'Tom, please just leave. We've already said goodbye. You yourself said that I made you weaker and that you have your destiny to fulfil. I can't be a part of that.'

'What's going on? Did that Black do something to you?'

Selene grimaced.

'No. Please, just…go.'

He grabbed her firmly by the shoulders and forced her to face him. She immediately thought of her mother- Aliki- and how she had killed herself for loving the wrong man.

Tom certainly was the wrong man.

'What is going on?' Tom said firmly, trying to maintain eye contact with her.

Selene looked anywhere but his eyes.

'I can't… just…sorry, Tom.'

'But…'

She didn't want to, but she had to. She reached in her robes and found her wand.

'_Stupefy'._

She paused as he slumped to the ground and decided that it'd be best if she wiped his memory clear of the event.

'_Obliviate.'_

She watched him, feeling torn. Had he come to her because he had changed his mind?

She suddenly felt her heart breaking as she wondered if, perhaps in a moment of weakness, he had realised that all his ideologies were wrong.

Maybe he was coming to her for help?

She took a sharp intake of breath, and dragged him out of the bathroom and put him in an empty compartment.

'I'm sorry, Tom,' she whispered. 'I wish things could have been different between us. I really do.'

She leant forward and kissed his forehead, closing her eyes as tears streamed down her cheeks.

The train came to a halt and she looked out of the window to see that they had arrived at King's Cross Station.

Sighing, she stood up and went to the door.

'_Ennervate.'_

She was long gone by the time Tom had come to.

* * *

**For those of you who have read TGM, this chapter wouldn't have come as a suprise. For those of you who never read TGM, I am very interested to hear your thoughts on the 'Asteria Curse'. I hope a lot of things about Selene now make sense.**

**And those of you following me on Twitter, my 'brain wave' was having Aliki fall in love with Grindelwald. That back story will be explored a bit more in further chapters, and will no doubt have implications on Selene... **

**Now, Circe herself was an actual witch in mythology, but I made up my own 'Greek myth' by giving her a daughter and the whole Asteria Curse business. So don't go talking to someone about some Asteria Curse if you're discussing Greek Mythology, because you'll just get funny looks!**

**Next chapter—**

'Alphie, there's something I have to tell you now that you're not drunk or high off drugs. I've been keeping a secret from you'- Sean to Alphard

And

'Selene….are you….are you sure?

Yes, yes I'm sure. Please. Do it. I'm ready.'

**Ahm. So things are really happening in the next chapter. **

**Now, once again, if you've never reviewed here's your chance to say hello and try something new. Be spontaneous, it's fun!**

**If you are a loyal reviewer, continue your good work and thanks for being wonderful!**

**Love, Anya**


	26. Chapter 26: All Men Are Not Alike

"_**I must learn to**__**love**__**the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries**__**"**_

**- Theodore Isaac Rubin

* * *

**

**All Men Are Not Alike**

'Here's your key, love,' the landlady said finally, after showing Tom around his one-room flat. 'If you need anything else at all, I'm in the bottom flat.'

'Thank you,' he said smoothly.

She bowed out of the room and Tom looked around the empty room, before walking to the middle of the room and lying down on the musty yellow carpet.

This was his new home.

--

When Tom next opened his eyes, he groaned as he felt how stiff his neck and shoulders had become from sleeping on the carpet floor. It was excessively uncomfortable, but he had been so exhausted that he must have dozed off.

He sighed and went to the bathroom, which was just as dirty as the room of his flat. He turned the tap on, and brown water ran from it.

'Screw this,' he muttered, taking out his wand. 'Aguamenti.'

He shot the water into his cupped hands, and splashed it onto his face, relishing its coolness on his skin.

He wiped his face on his singlet and walked back into his flat. A small smile came to his lips as he realised that he was free from the orphanage.

This place was his, and his alone now. He didn't have to share the room with a dorm full of foolish boys, or do chores…

He muttered a few cleaning spells and, suddenly, the room was spotless and fresh. The white paint on the wall was vibrant, and carpet was back to its original beige colour, and felt soft under his feet.

He then turned to the bathroom and set about cleaning the bath tub, toilet and sink methodically. As with his living room, the tiles were no longer a musty yellow colour, but sparkling white.

Satisfied, Tom went back to the living area and opened his trunk. He arranged his clothes in neat piles on the floor, and his books on another side of the room. Once he had the money, he would slowly acquire more furniture.

He looked to his clock and realised that it was time to get ready for his first day of work.

--

'Riddle?'

'Yes, sir,' Tom said, extending out a hand to Borgin. 'Pleased to meet you.'

'And you. I say, it'll be a relief to have someone with a brain working for us. The last kid nearly burnt the shop down with his carelessness. How many NEWTs did you say you got?'

'It hasn't come out in the mail yet, but I'm fairly certain that I got all seven.'

'Seven NEWTs!' Borgin boomed, looking round to Burke. 'You hear that?'

'I don't think we got seven combined,' Burke chuckled. 'Ah well, not much use in running our store anyway.'

'No,' Borgin agreed. 'Right, so you'll be doing deliveries today. I trust you have your Apparition license.'

'Naturally,' Tom smiled.

'Good. Here's a list of addresses. The first delivery is for Walburga Black. A very fine customer of ours, her and her husband. They've ordered this cabinet here. You're to deliver it to them, collect the gold, and then come back here for the next delivery. Sound simple enough?'

'Yes,' Tom shrugged. 'What's the address?'

'12 Grimmauld Place. It's written here on this sheet.'

'Ah, very good,' Tom nodded.

'Excellent. I'll leave you to it!' Borgin said, patting Tom's shoulder before he walking off to serve a customer.

Tom looked at the cabinet. It looked quite revolting, but then remembered Walburga who was in her final year when he was in his first, and decided that she probably would have garish taste in furniture anyway.

Holding onto the cabinet, he apparated outside the premises, and rang the doorbell which echoed in a Wagnerian manner throughout the house.

Tom tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for someone to answer the door. Just as he was about to ring the bell again, the door opened suddenly and he found himself face to face with none other than Alphard Black.

'Riddle,' Alphard said coldly. 'What are you doing here?'

Tom clenched his fists at the sight of the foolish boy, and couldn't help yet again wondering whatever it was that Selene saw in him.

'I have a delivery,' Tom said through gritted teeth. 'Walburga ordered a cabinet?'

Alphard surveyed Tom warily.

'One moment,' he said, walking back into the house and shutting the door in Tom's face.

Tom decided that, if he didn't need his job as much as he did, he would have taught Alphard a lesson or two.

'Honesty, Alphard, you left the poor boy standing outside? It's Tom Riddle! You were at school together. He was in Slytherin. You two should be good friends.'

'We certainly are not that,' Alphard scowled, and glaring at Tom who Walburga let in.'

'Hello, Tom. Is this the cabinet?'

'Yes, Ma'am,' he said politely.

'Ah, thank you…. KREACHER!'

Tom flinched a little at how loud Walburga's voice was.

'Yes, mistress?' a little brown houself panted, running down the stairs to her.

'Take this cabinet inside to my bedroom,' she said.

'Yes, mistress,' the houself said dutifully, clicking it's fingers so that the cabinet was levitating in the air, and then guiding it through the house.

'Now, how much for the cabinet?'

Tom looked down at the sheet, and his eyes widened at the price.

'Two thousand galleons,' he said, unable to believe that anyone would pay so much for a mere cabinet.

'Very well. I'll just write you a cheque.'

Tom nodded and Alphard stood up and walked up to him.

'Let me see the invoice,' he said.

Tom glared at him and thrust the paper in Alphard's hand.

'Hmph,' Alphard said, handing it back to Tom. 'What are you doing working as a delivery boy?'

'I need a job,' Tom said shortly.

'You still at the orphanage?'

'No.'

'Good. Selene doesn't need you bothering her anymore,' Alphard said grimly.

'Selene?' Tom smiled coldly. 'I wonder… have you told your dear family that you're seeing a _mudblood_.'

Alphard's eyes widened and he stiffened.

'Don't you….'

'There you go,' Walburga interrupted. 'A cheque for two thousand galleons. Is that all?'

'Yes, Ma'am,' Tom said, his lips twitching at how terrified Alphard was at the possibility of his revealing his relationship with Selene. 'Have a good day,' he said, tipping his had and walking off.

* * *

Selene immersed herself in doing as many chores as she could manage at the orphanage. She cleaned everything the muggle way- it took longer. By the end of the day, she was usually so exhausted that she was asleep before she had the chance to think about the Asteria Curse, or Tom, or Alphard, or anyone else.

'Selene, you've got a visitor,' Sister Jackie called from the kitchen of the orphanage. 'And get out of the rain! You'll catch cold!'

'I have to take down these clothes,' Selene called back.

She knew it would take less time to use magic, but she was scared that her visitor might be Tom, and had no idea how she was going to deal with him.

'You really should use magic for that,' an amused voice came from behind her.

Selene laughed and turned around and hugged Alphard.

'What are you doing here?' she gushed, surprised at how happy his visit had made her. 'I thought you were going off to France for the wedding!'

Alphard shook his head and kissed her.

'They changed their mind. Apparently it was too difficult to organise the catering over there, so they're having the wedding here.'

'Oh,' Selene said. 'So that means I can see you over summer?'

'Yes,' Alphard smiled. 'Now, how about we get out of this rain?'

'Oh, right,' Selene said, laughing and flicking her hand at the clothes line. All the clothes flew into the basket, and they both ran back into the orphanage, laughing.

--

'So this is where you grew up?' Alphard said, looking around the sparse dormitory as Selene handed him a towel.

'Yes,' she said. 'This is my bed. We don't exactly get our own rooms here.'

Alphard raised an eyebrow and sat next to her on it. He took her hand and kissed it.

'So, you're not angry at me?'

Selene laughed.

'No, of course not. You have no idea how incredibly happy I am you're here. I think I was going crazy over these past few days.'

'You just seemed a little strange on our last day of school,' Alphard shrugged.

Selene bit her lip as she remembered the way she had spoken to Alphard.

'Oh… I was very stressed out that day. Sorry.'

He smiled and leant forward and kissed her. She let out a faint sigh and pulled him closer to her as they laid back on her bed and continued kissing.

'Sweet Circe, I've missed you,' he said, kissing her neck lingeringly.

Selene's eyes flew open at the mention of Circe and she gasped as she saw Annie, a nine-year old orphan, standing at the door.

Alphard turned and sat up quickly as he saw the little girl.

'All right, Annie?' Selene said, embarrassed.

Annie giggled and ran out of the room.

'Oh no, she's going to tell everyone, now,' Selene groaned, resting her head on Alphard's shoulder.

Alphard kissed her forehead.

'How about I take you out to dinner? I can't imagine you have any exciting plans here for the evening,' he said, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

Selene smiled and kissed him again.

'Okay, I'll just tell Sister Jackie that I'm leaving.'

* * *

Selene found herself smiling once again. Alphard would take her on dates almost every night, and she had even received a few postcards from Malkin and Florean.

Instead of losing herself in her chores to forget her new heritage, she began to think about it more often. She realised that she wanted to learn more about her heritage- that she wanted to know more than what Dumbledore had told her.

'Hey, Alphie?' Selene murmured.

It was Sunday afternoon, and Alphard had taken her out to a field for a picnic.

'Yes?' Alphard said, looking up at her and kissing the tip of her nose.

'Is there a Wizarding Library?'

'Sure. It's in Brenton Alley. I can take you there if you like.'

Selene smiled at him and kissed his lips lingeringly.

'I'm so glad you're still in England,' she whispered against his lips as she twisted a lock of his black hair. 'I think this is the first Summer I've actually enjoyed.'

Alphard smiled.

'I promise I'll take you away next summer. It would have been even better if we had gone away.'

Selene frowned.

'Are you needed every day? Can't we go away for a weekend or something?'

Alphard grinned.

'And would you like to?' he asked, kissing her neck.

Selene let out a faint sigh, and Alphard paused and looked up at her.

'Okay. Next weekend, I'll take you. Where are we going?'

Selene's eyes brightened.

'We really will?'

Alphard laughed and kissed her.

'Yes, of course. Where do you want to go?'

Selene's smile faltered as she realised somewhere she _should_ go.

'Greece,' she said automatically. 'Did you know that I'm Greek?'

Alphard raised an eyebrow.

'Well, I guessed with your name and all… but I don't think you're Greek, so much as a Greek goddess.'

Selene froze and she stared at Alphard, petrified that he somehow knew her secret.

'What's wrong?' he frowned. 'You look like you've seen an inferi or something.'

Selene exhaled and shook her head, smiling.

'So we're really going to Greece?'

'Anything for you,' he smiled, kissing her again.

Selene's eyes fluttered closed as she allowed herself to be overcome with the touch of his lips on hers, his hands lightly cupping her cheeks…

She pulled him more closely to her, and he began kissing her neck lingeringly, moving lower and lower down her neck.

Suddenly, Selene's eyes flew open as she was hit with the realisation that she actually _did_ love Alphard.

She pulled him up to her and kissed him forcefully. When they broke apart, they were both panting and Alphard's eyes were slightly dazed.

'I love you,' she whispered kissing him again. 'I really do. I don't think I meant it when I told you that time in Hogsmeade… but…'

She faltered and kissed Alphard again.

'No one else has ever cared about me like you do- let alone ask me what _I _want. I… I really do love you, Alphard Black.'

Alphard's thumb traced her cheekbone lightly, and Selene turned her head and kissed his hand. Slowly, he lent forward and kissed her slowly.

Kissing Tom was always a heated affair- but also rushed- as though they wanted to get as much done before they both came to their senses.

With Alphard, it was slower, more tentative…

But she felt more. She felt every brush of his lips against hers, every touch of his hands along her body, and it sent tingles through her skin.

'I want you,' she whispered huskily, closing her eyes. 'I want to do it.'

Alphard broke away from her, his eyes wide.

'Selene….are you….are you sure?' he asked uncertainly.

'Yes, yes I'm sure. Please. Do it. I'm ready,' she gasped.

He kissed her again, but then pushed her away.

'Are you sure you've thought about this? With Malkin… we rushed into it and I think that was when she started to lose it.'

Selene frowned.

'Why are you bringing that up now?' she said sadly.

'Sorry,' Alphard sighed, lying on his back and squinting up at the sun. 'How about we save it for Greece? It'll be more special then.'

Selene considered it, and then shrugged.

'Okay,' she said, laying her head on his chest. 'Your heart's racing.'

'I just rejected the offer to make love to the most beautiful girl in the world,' he laughed. 'What do you expect?'

Selene laughed and kissed his chest.

'I'm actually really excited for Greece,' she said truthfully. 'I've never left the UK before.'

Alphard smiled at her, and kissed her forehead.

'I can't wait either.'

* * *

'Hey, mate,' Alphard said, clapping Sean on the shoulder and sitting opposite him in the small, yet busy café in Muggle London.

Sean looked up jerkily and smiled hesitantly.

'Hey, Alphie. How're you doing?'

'Oh, not bad,' Alphard shrugged. 'The wedding's turning out to be the biggest thing since Queen Regina married Prince Walter.'

Sean smiled.

'Yeah, purebloods tend to make a big deal of weddings, don't they?'

'_Noble_ purebloods do,' Alphard said, rolling his eyes. 'A coffee please,' he added to the waitress as she looked at him enquiringly.

Sean blinked and watched Alphard, surprised.

'Soemthing wrong?' Alphard frowned.

Sean shook his head.

'No…well… usually you'd flirt with the waitess. After all, that one was quite a looker.'

Alphard glanced back at her.

'Selene's better.'

Sean pursed his lips and toyed with the salt shaker.

'Have you seen her?'

Alphard laughed lightly.

'Almost every day. We're going to Greece on the weekend.'

Sean looked up, startled.

'But what about the wedding preparations?'

Alphard waved his hand dismissively.

'They'll survive without me for a weekend. After all, we've still got a month before the wedding actually happens.'

Sean stared at Alphard, but then smiled a little.

'So you really are serious about her, then?'

Alphard nodded.

'Yes,' he said genuinely. 'She's the most beautiful girl… or person, even, I've ever known.'

Sean sighed and looked resignedly at the table.

'Then I'm happy for you both,' he said truthfully.

Alphard raised an eyebrow and Sean looked up at Alphard, his green eyes troubled.

'Alphie,' he said hesitantly. 'There's something I have to tell you now that you're not drunk or high off drugs. I've been keeping a secret from you'

Alphard frowned.

'Do you have a girlfriend.'

Sean laughed dejectedly.

'Oh, I wish it was something as frivolous as that,' he sighed. 'No, Alphie. I… this is much bigger. I'm scared you won't want to know me once I tell you.'

Alphard looked confused.

'Tell me what, Sean?'

Sean stared at Alphard, and then looked down at the table.

'I'm… I'm gay.'

He looked up when Alphard didn't respond.

'Look, I know you don't agree with it, but…'

'Gay!' Alphard spluttered, looking flabbergasted.

'Yes,' Sean sighed. 'I'm sorry I didn't…'

Alphard's eyes widened like saucers.

'You…like…men?'

Sean nodded and his chest wrenched as he saw Alphard's horrified expression.

'Is this some kind of joke?'

Sean stared at Alphard, hurt washing over him.

'Do you really care that much?' he said quietly. 'Haven't we been best friends since…'

Alphard shook his head and stood up and stalked out of the café. Sean threw two galleons on the table and ran after him.

'Alphie!'

Alphie spun around.

'Don't you _Alphie_ me, 'he said, sounding disgusted. 'You… you let men do…'

'Yes, but you do the same with girls,' Sean tried to reason.

'I don't let them stick _anything_ down there!' Alphard exclaimed, sounding repulsed. 'You're disgusting.'

'Alphie,' Sean said, his shoulder slumping. 'It's just me. It's…'

'And all this time- how do I know that you've never thought of _me_ in that way?' Alphard whispered.

He spluttered when he saw that Sean was at a loss for words to this statement.

'You do!' he said, horrified.

'Alphie, look…' Sean said, extending a hand.

'No! Don't _touch_ me!' Alphard exclaimed. 'You… you get away from me. You _disgust _me!'

Sean blinked back hurt tears as he dropped his outstretched hand and saw Alphard disapparate hastily.

He knew that Alphard would be disturbed by his sexuality, but had never expected him to react as badly as he had.

It hurt more than he could ever have imagined.

* * *

Selene's eyes were wide with wonder as she wandered through the London Wizarding State Library. It was a magnificent building with high ceilings decorated with intricate plaster mould designs, and adorned with brilliant crystal chandeliers.

'Are you looking for something, dear?' a kindly witch asked Selene from behind her.

'Oh, yes,' Selene said suddenly. 'Greek mythology, please.'

The librarian nodded and led her to the appropriate section.

'Here you go, dear,' she smiled kindly.

'Thanks,' Selene said, looking at the array of books. She took as many as she could levitate, and went to a nearby desk.

--

_Circe, in Greek mythology, is a sorceress who lives on an island called Aeaea, near Italy. Circe was able to turn people into beasts through the use of magical potions. She was renowned for her knowledge of drugs and herbs. She has been documented through both Wizarding and Muggle literature in Homer's 'The Iliad'._

Selene sighed as she read the same paragraph in yet another book. She glanced up at the large clock on the wall and her eyes widened as she realised that it was already 9.30pm.

'Last book,' she muttered to herself, blowing the dust off the cover of the heavy, leather-bound book.

She flicked to the index, and was pleased to see that there was more on her in this book.

She gasped as she read—

'_A myth not readily documented about Circe or, indeed, widely accepted was that Asteria gave her a daughter. This myth suggests that Circe killed her daughter and then asked Asteria to revive her. Asteria was not able to do so- as there is no known magic to bring back the dead- but put a curse on the body, so that an identical baby to her daughter was born, in her place. This is called the 'Asteria Curse'. It has been suggested that, each time a 'daughter of Asteria' died, an identical baby would appear in her place at midnight of that day, ensuring the continuation of the Asteria bloodline and that Circe's daughter would live forever._

_This is now believed to be nothing but a myth, as no such daughters of Asteria have ever been proven to exist._

.

Selene felt numb as she finished reading the paragraph and, for the first time since Dumbledore had told her the news of her heritage, she believed him.

It was real.

Glancing around surreptitiously, she tore the pages from the book and hurried out of the library. She bumped into someone as she was walking into the locker room, and her eyes widened with horror as she realised it was Tom.

She looked away quickly, her heart pounding erratically.

'Sorry, sir,' she muttered, pretending that she hadn't seen him properly as she hurried away to her locker.

* * *

Tom lay on his mattress, unable to sleep. He was certain that she had recognise him- that their eyes had met for long enough for her to know exactly whom she had bumped into.

And yet she had completely ignored him.

He had never expected her to uphold their agreement from their Valedictory Dinner. He always thought that she would be difficult about it and continue to seek him out.

But she had done neither. Quite the opposite- she had _ignored_ him during a chance meeting in the library.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly and turned on his side and started thinking of the information he had learnt on the Hogwarts school symbols. He needed a way to discover the founder's items.

Especially the Slytherin locket. As far as he was concerned, that belonged to _him._ Only _he _was its rightful owner.

* * *

'Pst.'

Selene screwed her eyes tightly shut and turned over.

'Pst! Selene!'

Her eyes flew open as she recognised his voice. In her daze, she forgot all about pretending in front of him.

'Tom!' she exclaimed, sitting up in her bed. 'What are you…'

He took her wrist silently and led her out of the orphanage, out to the back yard.

'You ignored me today,' he whispered angrily. 'Why?'

Selene looked down, her cheeks burning with shame.

'Because I'm not meant to see you again, Tom. And I don't want to have to go through forgetting you again. I think you were right- it's… it's just easier with the clean break.'

'Really?' Tom said, sounding amused as he continued to watch her steadily.

He leant forward and kissed her and she sighed, pulling him to her forcefully.

'No,' she whispered huskily. 'I hate this. I feel so empty, even when I'm happy. Something's missing in my life, Tom,' she said, kissing him lingeringly. 'It's you.'

His smirk grew more pronounced and he pushed her against the wall of the orphanage and rested his forehead against hers. She tried to kiss him, but he put a hand over her mouth.

'I'm going to take you away,' he whispered against her neck.

She shivered at the touch of his lips, as they moved against her skin.

'Tom,' she whispered urgently. 'I want you. It has to be you.'

'I don't share.'

'I don't want you to,' she whispered her hands working at his belt quickly. 'I want to be yours. Only yours.'

They stared at each other and, suddenly, Tom pushed up her shift and plunged into her, causing her to cry out in pain and pleasure…

..

Selene screamed and sat up suddenly, panting. Her heart beat erratically and her skin felt sticky with sweat.

'Fuck,' she sighed, lying back in her bed. 'Another dream.'

Ever since she had asked Alphard to sleep with her, she had been haunted by dreams of Tom taking her instead.

What made it worse for her was that no matter how hard she tried to forget him, she couldn't. Even if she managed to survive a day without thinking of him, he would always visit her in her dreams.

Her heart still pounding, Selene gingerly got out of bed and walked out to the back yard of the orphanage. She slowly went to the wall where she had been with Tom in her dream, and leant back against it.

She closed her eyes as she felt the cool wind blowing through the thin silk of her shift. Slowly, she brought a hand to her neck, where she had felt his searing kisses, and sighed.

'Tom,' she whispered as she slowly opened her eyes. 'I can't do this. You always have the answers. I… only you could help me.'

She rubbed her stinging eyes and looked up at the night sky. She sighed as she saw that it was a full moon-

Selene's moon.

She shook her head as she was yet again hit with the full impact of her history.

'You would know what to do,' she whispered numbly.

Suddenly, she blinked, as she had suddenly understood something.

'Of course,' she said simply. 'Why did I never think to do this before?'

She smiled and ran back inside the orphanage. She dressed hurriedly and quickly packed her trunk.

Fastening her cloak, she took one last look around the dorm she had grown up in, and left.

* * *

_Dear Alphard,_

_I'm sorry to put all this to you in a letter, but waiting until I next see you wasn't an option. _

_I'm afraid you'll hate me for what I'm about to write, but I have to do this. It's time that I grow up, and for me to do that, I need to find my heritage. I need to know who I am. _

_So I can't go to Greece with you, after all. I don't know how long I'll be gone for, or if I'll be able to write or receive letters from you. _

_Please believe me when I say that I truly meant it when I told you that I loved you, the other day. I really do, but I feel as though I can't be in any proper relationship until I sort myself out first. After all, how can you understand me, when I don't even understand me?_

_Sorry, again, and I love you,_

_Selene

* * *

_

**So Selene has decided to grow up. Where is she going? What is she doing? You'll have to wait until the next chapter to find out!**

**On that note…**

'This is… Circe's wand?'

**and**

'Selene,' Malkin said tentatively, 'He's engaged.'

**Who is engaged? What will happen?**

**Review right now, and it won't be long until you find out! Come on, you know you want to…**

**Love, Anya**


	27. Chapter 27: Wisdom Hastes Our Marriage

'_**Betroth'd and would have married her perforce**_

_**To County Paris: then comes she to me,**_

_**And, with wild looks, bid me devise some mean**_

_**To rid her from this second marriage,**_

_**Or in my cell there would she kill herself.'**_

'**Romeo & Juliet', W. Shakespeare

* * *

**

**His Wisdom Hastes Our M****arriage**

Alphard scratched his head as he read her letter yet again. It made no sense to him at all that, suddenly, Selene would have an urge to find out about her parents. After all, she had always been so adamant that it didn't matter to her whenever he had raised the subject.

Now he felt very betrayed. He had lost two friends- if she counted as a friend- in the span of a few days.

'Alphard!' his mother called. 'We're going to Walburga's in ten minutes. Make sure you're presentable. Tonight is a very important evening.'

But Alphard had no desire to leave his room at present. He wanted to continue sitting on his bed as he tried- somehow- to decipher some kind of sense from Selene's cryptic letter.

'Stupid Walburga,' he grumbled as he reluctantly got up from his bed and pulled his new dress robes over his head. 'Why do I want to go to her dinner party anyway?'

Suddenly, the thought of Walburga sparked another thought in Alphard's mind.

Perhaps Selene's leaving had to do with someone else…

--

'Where is she?' he demanded.

Tom looked up lazily from the account book and sighed heavily.

'I assume you expect me to know who and what you're talking about,' he drawled.

'Selene,' Alphard demanded. 'You've done something to her.'

Tom's eyes narrowed coldly.

'No,' he said stiffly. 'I haven't seen her since Wednesday.'

Alphard's eyes widened.

'Wednesday!' he exclaimed hoarsely. 'She's been… she's been _meeting up_ with _you_?'

Tom laughed drily.

'Oh no. I passed her on my way into the State Library, and we ignored each other. It was purely a chance encounter.'

Tom paused, and his lips quirked into a half smile.

'Would it torment you to no end if I said that we _have_ been meeting up?' he added.

Alphard glared at Tom.

'So where is she now?' he asked heavily.

Tom walked from behind the counter and began stacking Rememberalls.

'I haven't the foggiest. Nor do I care.'

'Look, she wouldn't just leave the orphanage and everyone and everything else for no reason. I'm _sure_ you must know!'

Tom regarded Alphard curiously.

'What makes you say that?'

'Because, for some reason, she seems to tell you things and care about you,' Alphard grumbled.

Tom rolled his eyes.

'I'm too busy for this. Selene and I have not had any form of conversation since the night of the Valedictory Ball. We are by no means close in any sense of the word. So why don't you understand that, and go back home to your mother.'

Alphard ignored the snipe.

'So you really don't know?' he sighed.

'Are you stupid? Of course you are,' Tom muttered to himself. 'All the inbreeding is creating idiots of today's purebloods. It must account for the fact that half of them are turning into blood traitors these days.'

Alphard shook his head at Tom and went to leave. Tom hesitated, before asking—

'How do you know she's gone?''

Alphard paused at the door.

'She sent me a letter telling me that she needs to go find herself… and her heritage.'

Tom snorted.

'She's a mudblood. What heritage is there to find?'

Alphard shrugged hopelessly and went to leave again.

'It didn't seem like a forged letter, did it? It wasn't… out of character, so to speak?'

Alphard furrowed his brow.

'For someone who hates her so much, you seem to care about her a curious lot,' he said accusingly.

Tom pursed his lips and glared at Alphard.

'No, it seemed in her writing… and the sort of thing she'd say,' Alphard sighed. 'I… I just don't get it.'

Tom watched Alphard and then shrugged lightly.

'She was probably finding a way of ending it with you,' he smirked. 'Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm too busy for this mindless chit chat about a mudblood.'

Alphard shook his head at Tom.

'You've grown up with her. She's the closest thing you'll ever have to what could be a sister, and yet you treat her like dirt. Don't you care about her at _all_?' he said.

Tom whipped out his wand, looking fed up.

'If you don't leave,' he snarled, 'I'll make you. I don't care if the Blacks _are_ this shop's most loyal customers.'

Alphard sighed and left the shop without another word.

--

No matter how much he hated Tom, throughout dinner all Alphard could think of was that he saw some basis in Tom's statement—

Selene had never allowed them to get very close. Perhaps all this really was an excuse for her to break up with him.

He looked up, feeling hurt, as his father tapped his wine glass.

'Now, firstly I'd like to propose a toast to my beautiful daughter, Walburga, for preparing this wonderful dinner for us all,' he said.

Everyone sipped their wine.

'Now, there was another reason for which this dinner party was held today. It is, in fact, the celebration of a new engagement.'

Alphard watched his father dully. He had no interest in his family's in-breeding affairs.

'And this engagement may come as a surprise to the parties involved, but us parents believe it will be a most favourable match. This match, is of my son, Alphard, to my niece, Ariadne.'

Alphard heard a gasp of shock from Ariadne, who was sitting next to him, and then blinked in shock as he processed what his father had just said.

'Hang on,' he burst out. 'I'm not… I'm not having an _arranged_ marriage! Not to my _cousin!_'

The room fell silent, and Alphard was met with the disapproving gaze of his entire family. Suddenly, there was the scraping of chair from next to him, and Ariadne ran from the room, stifling a sob.

'Alphard,' his father growled. 'A word, please.'

--

'No. I absolutely refuse!' Alphard protested. 'You can't do this to me! I'm only 18!'

'You will marry when you turn 20. A most respectable age for marriage.'

'But…'

'Alphard, this is a most favourable match. Ariadne is a most handsome girl…'

'She's my cousin!' Alphard exclaimed. 'I can't… she's only 17!'

'I'm sorry, Alphard, but your mother and I have decided,' his father said finally. 'And there is no negotiating this matter.'

'No,' Alphard said flatly. 'I don't accept. I'd rather…'

'If you don't do this,' his father growled. 'You will be struck off the will.'

Alphard blinked and suddenly felt the unfairness of his situation washing over him.

'But, father,' he pleaded. 'I don't want to marry her. I don't love her.'

'You will learn to love her. She is both sharp, and beautiful. What more could you want?'

Alphard hung his head. He thought of Selene, but then remembered how she had left him.

'Father, I…' he said hopelessly. 'Can't I…'

'No,' he interrupted. 'Look, Alphard, I understand that this may be hard for you to accept at first, but one day you will thank your mother and I for procuring you such a favourable match. It is for the best.'

Alphard's shoulders slumped.

'There's a good boy. Now, I believe you have your fiancée to attend to. You were most rude to her in front of all those people, and she must be feeling very hurt by your behaviour towards her.'

--

She was leaning over the balcony, sniffing into her handkerchief. He stood back and observed her for a while. He had always looked at her as a _cousin_, but had never even thought to think of her as anything else.

His father wasn't exaggerating when he had called her a handsome girl. She had long fair hair, the traditional Black 'grey' eyes which were framed with dark eyelashes, skin of pure ivory, and very pretty, small mouth.

Of course, her figure wasn't fully developed yet at her tender age, and this made it even harder for Alphard to accept her.

'A…Ariadne?' he said hesitatingly, as he approached her.

She gasped and whirled around. As soon as she saw him, she broke down into more tears.

'Look,' Alphard said heavily, 'I'm sorry for how I reacted. It's just that…'

'I… I have a b…boyfriend!' Ariadne cried. 'I l…love him! Why…why do I have to marry y…you, when you d…don't w…want m…me either?'

Alphard blinked, surprised.

'You're… you're not upset at my reaction?'

Ariadne sniffed.

'I feel the same way. No offence.'

Alphard grinned.

'Ah well, a war from both parties is much more effective than my fighting this engagement alone.'

Ariadne hung her head.

'So… who is he?' Alphard said, nudging her.

Ariadne bit her lip.

'He's not pureblood, is he?' Alphard said, searching his pockets for his cigarette case.

Ariadne's eyes widened and she looked pleadingly at Alphard.

'Please don't tell them!' she said, clutching his arm desperately. 'They'd kill me!'

Alphard laughed lightly and took out a joint.

'Spliff?' he said, offering it to her.

Ariadne wrinkled her nose.

'Is that… _marijuana_?'

'Yep,' Alphard shrugged easily, lighting the joint. 'I think we both could do with some tonight.'

'Tell me about it,' Ariadne muttered, taking the joint from him. She coughed a little.

'Ah, your virgin smoke,' Alphard grinned. 'You'll get used to it.'

'Isn't that what they say about sex?' Ariadne said drily.

Alphard shot her a surprised look.

'My, my, whoever thought little Ariadne would be so grown up,' he mused. 'You know, it's a pity you're my cousin. I think you might have been my type.'

Ariadne took the joint off him.

'Well, how convenient that we're engaged.'

Alphard sighed.

'True.'

They sat in silence for a while.

'What about you?' Ariadne asked. 'You have anyone?'

Alphard chewed his lip.

'I don't know.'

Ariadne snorted.

'What do you mean 'you don't know'. It's a yes or no question!'

'Well, she sent me a note yesterday saying that she was leaving to find herself, but that she loves me. I don't understand it, but it sounded as though she'll be gone for a long while.'

'You think she was breaking up with you?'

'I don't know. Maybe.'

'Sorry.'

'Thanks. The thing is, she's the first girl I've really loved. Properly.'

Ariadne sighed.

'Life's a bitch.'

'Tell me about it.'

'Alphie?'

'Yeah?'

'Do you think there's a way out of this engagement?'

Alphard was silent for a while.

'I… I hope so,' he said quietly. 'No offence.'

'None taken.'

Ariadne hesitated.

'But, I'm worried that if we call this engagement off… they'll just fix me up with a different cousin. And I prefer you the most out of all their other 'potential suitors'.'

Alphard sighed.

'I know what you mean. It's no good breaking this off only to be forced to marry someone else. It's strange to say this, but I think we could almost work.'

Ariadne laughed softly.

'I know what you mean. Personality-wise, anyway. Whether I'd be attracted to you is another story. I sort of can't get over seeing you as a cousin.'

'Tell me about it,' Alphard said, blowing out smoke rings. 'Say, I have an idea.'

Ariadne looked up at him.

'Do tell,' she grinned.

'Well, what if we say that we accept the engagement- for now. That way, they won't have time to find anyone else. We'll ask to be a bit older when we do actually get married, though. In the meantime, we can be with whoever we like. Then, just before the 'marriage deadline', we'll both work to break the engagement off and- hopefully by then-will already have someone who we want to marry and be financially stable enough to support ourselves should we get struck off the family tree.'

Ariadne lay her head on Alphard's shoulder.

'That's very clever. I like it… but does that mean that you're my fiancé for now?'

'I believe it does,' Alphard said ironically. 'Shall we go announce the good news to our family?'

Ariadne nodded ruefully.

* * *

Selene had found it hard to find Wizarding Athens. When she finally did, however, she found the library and was pleased to find so much more information on Circe. There was a whole shelf dedicated to books on her alone, and the same went for Hecate and Asteria.

Before she had left for Athens, she withdrew a decent amount of money from her mother's account at Gringott. She had been surprised to see that her mother had left her a very large inheritance.

And so she had been living off this money. She found a small flat in Wizarding Athens, which she had rented for a month. She would spend her days in the Wizarding Library, pouring over the countless books on Greek Mythology, and retire to her flat in the evenings.

Three weeks into her stay, she finally found something that gave her a clue for what she should try finding next. It came about in a passage she had read:

_'When Circe__had given it me, and I had drunk it without its charming me, she struck she, struck me with her wand.'_

It struck Selene that Circe had a wand to perform her magic. But where was this wand now?

Selene knew that there was the possibility that there was nothing in finding Circe's wand, but she couldn't shake her feeling that, after all her research, Circe's wand was a direction she should be looking in.

She found a book entitled 'Famous Witches and Wizards, and Their Wands'. The first page was Circe.

_Circe is the first known witch and indeed the first to make use of a wand. It is believed that her wand is made of laurel wood, and has a strand of Asteria's hair as it's core. It has been sought by many wizards and witches alike for it is believed to be of extreme value._

_Certain myths surround this wand. The most prominent is that only a 'Daughter of Asteria' may make use of this wand. It is believed that should a witch or wizard who is not of the Asteria bloodline touch the wand, they will turn permanently into a swine. There have been numerous accounts of this happening, although the credibility of the sources is questionable. _

_Another myth is that a 'Daughter of Asteria' may use the wand to visit Circe on the island of Aeaea. Indeed, Aeaea has been classified as a mythological island and has never been found since Odysseus' accounts of it. Claims have been made that only a Daughter of Asteria may visit Circe_

_._

Selene's eyes widened and, without waiting to look at another book, she ran out of the library to the Wandmaker on the corner of the street.

'Nai?'

Selene falterd as she remembered that she couldn't speak Greek. In her few weeks, she had managed to pick up very basic words- enough to buy groceries at the supermarket- but still had no idea for the most part of it.

'Do… do you speak English?' she asked.

The wandmaker frowned at her, pointed his wand at her, and muttered a spell. Before Selene could disagree, she was hit by his spell.

Suddenly, she understood him.

'What did you do?' she asked.

'You're speaking Greek now,' said the maker simply. 'How can I help you?'

Selene hesitated.

'Do you know anything about Circe's wand?'

The maker laughed.

'Not another one, looking to test the myth out!' he laughed. 'It doesn't exist.'

'Are you _sure_?' Selene asked.

The maker nodded, still laughing.

Selene sighed.

'Might you be able to tell me of other makers in Greece?' she sighed.

'I am the only one worth coming to,' he responded.

'But…'

'Again, I am the only one worth coming to,' he said sourly.

'Well, I don't need a new wand,' she snapped. 'Good day.'

* * *

After a month of scouring every wand shop she came across for Circe's wind, Selene finally struck gold.

This was on the island of Crete. She was lucky to hear of the shop at all, because she had only heard of it by overhearing a conversation on the island of Mykonos.

Tentatively, she pushed the door open and a bell tinkered. She blinked as she saw an old lady, dressed head to toe in mourning black.

'Nai?'

Selene had now mastered the translation charm.

'I was wondering if you could help me,' she said. 'I'm looking after a wand.'

The lady sighed.

'My husband's wands were very good. We only have a few left.'

Selene swallowed.

'No, I… I don't want your husband's wands. You see, I'm looking for a very particular type of wand.'

The woman watched her shrewdly.

'I'm after,' Selene pressed on, 'A wand that once belonged to Circe.'

The woman merely watched Selene, her black eyes looking her up and down. Selene cleared her throat uncertainly.

'So… do you….'

'Asteria?' the woman interrupted, still watching her closely.

Selene's eyes widened.

'Yes, how…'

The woman turned around without another word and went into the back of the store.

'Excuse me,' Selene called after her, thoroughly confused. 'Hello?'

Selene stared as the woman merely ignored her. After a minute of contemplating whether the lady was planning on returning and deciding to leave, the lady finally returned. She was holding a bag of blue velvet very carefully.

Selene's eyes widened as she saw it, and the lady carefully laid the bag on the counter.

'Asteria,' she repeated. 'Kirki.'

Selene held her breath.

'May I?' she asked.

The lady motioned to the bag.

'Only a Daughter can touch the wand,' she said, watching Selene with wide eyes.

Selene held her breath and reached inside the bag and pulled out a long case of silver. Gingerly, she opened the case and gasped as she saw the wand.

'Laurel wood. The core is a hair from the head of Asteria herself,' the lady whispered.

Selene swallowed nervously.

'This… is Circe's wand?'

The lady nodded seriously. Holding her breath, Selene reached out and picked up the wand. With wide eyes, she held it at the ready.

Suddenly, she felt a warmth spreading to her fingertips, and a laurel tree shot out of the end of her wand.

Selene gasped and the lady clutched at her chest.

'It's true,' she whispered, walking up to Selene and touching her face. 'You are… it's true!'

Selene nodded slowly, still overwhelmed with the thought that she was holding the oldest wand in wizarding history.

Suddenly, the lady's eyes widened, and she spat lightly on Selene's head.

'Ftoosoo! Ftoosoo!' she spat.

Selene pulled away, shocked.

'Tragic origins, have tragic endings,' the lady said gravely, looking at Selene with terrified eyes.

Selene pulled away, feeling uncomfortable.

'How much is the wand?' she asked.

The lady shook her head.

'I cannot charge. It is rightfully yours.'

Selene blinked, surprised.

'But…'

The lady shook her head, and continued to regard Selene sadly.

'Tragedy. This wand brings nothing but tragedy,' she whispered.

Selene cleared her throat smartly.

'Thank you for the want,' she said shortly. 'I need to go.'

The lady nodded, tears welling in her eyes.

'Tragedy,' she whispered again.

Selene clenched her fists and walked out of the store as quickly as she could. She didn't know why, but that lady's comments had unsettled her deeply.

* * *

_Dear Tom,_

_I thank you for your application, however I believe that you are not of a mature enough age to be a Professor at Hogwarts. It is thus that I must decline your application for the Defence Against the Dark Arts position._

_In a few years, however, I would be delighted to consider your application. Please understand that it is merely a matter of age and maturity._

..

Tom's fists curled into a ball as he read the letter.

'Riddle! Get over here and sweep this corner,' Borgin barked, causing Tom to jump and hastily stow away the letter. 'The Blacks are coming in to register for an engagement party.'

Tom felt his anger at the unfairness of the declination wash over him. He couldn't understand how they could discriminate purely against age. After all, it wasn't age so much as skill that determined whether one was a mature wizard.

Sighing, and feeling very frustrated, Tom summoned a broom and went to where Borgin was standing and begin cleaning the shop.

* * *

'An engagement party!' Ariadne said, aghast. 'But…'

Alphard shook his head quickly and Ariadne sighed and forced a smile.

'Very well, then, mother,' she said. 'When'

'I was thinking we could to it on Christmas,' Mrs Black smiled, kissing Ariadne and leaving the room.

Ariadne sighed, walked over to Alphard and slumped onto the couch, next to him.

'I hate this. I really do.'

Alphard put his arm around her shoulders, hugged her to his side, and kissed her forehead.

'It'll be okay, I told you.'

Ariadne closed her eyes and sat up suddenly.

'Harold doesn't like it,' she said through gritted teeth. 'We keep fighting these days. He wants me to tell them the truth.'

'Now, you and I know that you can't do that,' Alphard said plainly.

Ariadne sighed and rested her head on Alphard's shoulder.

'This is a nightmare. I don't want to know what he'll do when he finds about the Engagement Party,' she said, shuddering.

'Who said that he has to know?' Alphard said, raising an eyebrow.

Ariadne bit her lip.

'It'll be announced in the Daily Prophet,' she sighed.

'Oh, right,' Alphard said, defeated. 'Forgot about that.'

Ariadne rubbed her eyes tiredly.

'He's at breaking point,' she said sadly.

'Well perhaps he's not good enough for you,' Alphard said firmly, feeling strangely possessive over Ariadne.

Ariadne crossed her arms defiantly.

'Of course he is. I love him, Alphie. I really do.'

Alphard smiled at her and kissed her cheek.

'I know you do, I know. I guess we'll just have to play it all by ear for now. If we're uncompliant this early on, however, they'll change their mind and we'll be forced either to marry right away, or to marry someone else who is truly horrible. It's a very delicate situation, and we have to take care not to excacerbate the situation.

Ariadne looked up at Alphard, her grey eyes watching him searchingly.

'Okay,' she sighed, nodding. 'Fine. Oh, and can you please go down the aisle with me for the wedding, tomorrow? I'll die if I have to go with Rodolphus.'

'Anything for you,' Alphard said, smiling at her.

'Thanks, Alphie. Don't take this the wrong way, but I really do love you.'

Alphard smiled at her again, and kissed her quickly on the lips before getting up and leaving the room.

* * *

'You left me.'

Selene felt tears of remorse streaming down her cheeks.

'I did it because… because…'

'Because what?' he shot scathingly. 'You left me, with a pathetic excuse for a letter. How do you think I _felt_ after that?'

She stared at him silently, at a loss for words.

'Well?' he demanded.

'Alphard, please…'

He shook his head and walked away from her.

Selene's eyes flew open and she clutched at her chest, where her heart was fluttering erratically.

'It's just a dream' she whispered to herself, staring up at the white ceiling of her hotel room. 'It's…'

She sat up, feeling frustrated.

'Why do I have so many dreams.'

She paused.

'Because Asteria was also the goddess of prophetic dreaming, perhaps?' she said sarcastically as she got out of bed and washed her face.

She sighed and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She had grown much thinner and paler during the months she had spent in Greece, and she had developed permanent bags under her eyes. Living as she had, she hadn't needed to worry about her diet, or how much sleep she would get. Sometimes, she would go a whole day without eating and not even realise it. Others, she'd work through the night only to realise that the sun had already risen for the next day.

She sat down on her bed and pulled out her wand and looked at it, her brow furrowing in concentration.

Suddenly, she threw the wand across the room.

'What's the use to you!' she snapped. 'I've had you for a month, and yet you've brought me as close to Circe as I was when I first arrived in Greece. It's all lies.'

Selene's eyes widened as an idea came to her.

--

'Excuse me!' she called, knocking on the door of the little shop. 'Hello?'

The door was opened by a young man.

'Nai?'

Selene faltered. He had dark hair, just like Alphard's, and she was hit yet again with the anguish of her guilt.

'I… I bought a wand here,' she said in her broken Greek. 'A month ago.'

The man smiled ironically.

'A wand, eh?'

'Yes,' Selene frowned.

He laughed.

'What's your first language?'

'English,' Selene replied.

He smiled easily.

'You just said that you bought a wand,' he said in English to her, laughing.

Selene blinked as she realised that he was a muggle.

'Oh….' She laughed. 'Sorry, I meant I bought a laurel tree from the lady here about a month ago.'

The man raised his eyebrows.

'What lady?'

'The previous owner of this shop,' Selene insisted.

'I think you're confusing our shop with another,' he said. 'This shop has been here for ten years.'

Selene stared at him, and then at the shop.  
There was no mistaking it- that was certainly that shop she had bought her wand from.

'But…'

'Can I interest you in buying some ouzo?'

'What?' Selene breathed. 'Oh, er… no, thanks. You're right, I must have confused this shop with another. Sorry, and thanks for your time.'

The man shrugged, and just as Selene was going to leave, he spoke—

'Would you happen to be free for dinner, this evening? My uncle owns the best taverna in town, and I'd like to take you there, if you are willing.'

Selene stared at him, and was reminded so much of Alphard, that she had to blink back tears.

Of course she hadn't thought of the consequences of her hasty departure at the time. When she had left England, she had been blinded by her consuming desire to find out her heritage. So much so, that she had callously and heartlessly left the one person who made her truly happy with a mere, non-descript letter.

And now that she had finally come to realise that her cause was a lost one, it was too late to remedy her actions. Alphard wouldn't wait for her on the odd chance that she might return.

He was too good for that.

'Well, despina?'

Selene looked up into the man's eyes. They were a icy blue, and had slight crinkles at the sides from sun-damage.

'My name's Selene,' she said awkwardly.

'I'm Tassos,' he said. 'Now, will you accompany me to dinner?'

Selene nodded quietly.

'Sure. I'll meet you here at seven and we can go from there.'

As she walked away, she couldn't help feeling cold at the thought that something was amiss- that lady had told her that their wand shop had been there for years.

And yet, suddenly, it was gone- as though it had never existed?

* * *

She felt numb as she walked back to the store. She wasn't quite sure why she was going- what she was planning to achieve. After all, she had already made up her mind to return to England the next day.

Perhaps it was a need to protect herself, should she return to find Alphard with someone else. To know that at least there was _someone _in the world who would still have her.

'You look very beautiful,' Tassos said in his broken English.

Selene smiled rather reservedly.

'Thank you. Where is your uncle's restaurant?'

'Just around the corner. I picked this for you,' he said, handing her a white flower.

Selene looked at it and then looked away.

'Thank you,' she said quietly. 'It's beautiful.'

--

'Did you end up finding your shop?' Tasssos asked Selene as he poured her yet another glass of retsina.

Selene drank it almost as soon as he finished filling it.

'No, I didn't look. It's not urgent. I… I just thought it was strange.'

'What was?' he said curiously.

'Well, I swear that shop was there before, but now apparently it wasn't. A shop hasn't been knocked down recently, has it?'

'No, no,' Tassos laughed. Selene noticed how his eyes sparkled when he did so—

A person who was carefree.

Free.

He was free from any curse, from poverty, from the rules of nobility… his life was simple, yet enjoyable.

Selene couldn't help watching him with envy. Now, she longed for such a life.

--

She blamed the retsina. Selene had done most of the drinking, and they had consumed one and a half bottles that night. Once she felt that light, carefree feeling seeping through her, she kept drinking lest she lose it.

Now, she felt light- completely uninhibited. She briefly thought of Tom and Alphard- the two men in her life who she knew she loved- but they both brought her too much sadness.

And such a feeling was inappropriate when she felt so light and free.

'Tsigaro?' Tassos said, offering her a cigarette as they walked into the back of his shop.

Selene gave a half-smile, surprised at how flirtatious and seductive she was behaving towards him.

He grinned and he lit one up for her. She coughed a little at first, but then became accustomed to the sensation of the gravelly smoke coursing through her windpipe and lungs.

And, suddenly, she felt even more light-headed.

She laughed, and Tassos turned from the gramophone, where he had been putting on a record, and smiled at her.

'You're not as quiet as I thought you were,' he commented, kissing her lips as they stumbled back to his bed.

Selene laughed throatily.

'I've never felt like this,' she laughed giddily. 'So… so free.'

'Hmm,' Tassos murmured, evidently wanting less talk and action as he kissed her again, bringing them down to lie down on the bed.

Selene gasped as his he deftly undid the buttons of her dress and slid his hand across the bare, smooth skin of her body. Nobody had ever touched her in such an intimate way, and she wanted to feel it again; to be closer.

She trailed kisses down his neck as she made quick work of unbuttoning his shirt and pulling down his pants. He let out a guttural growl, and tangled a hand through her hair as he crashed his lips down upon hers again.

Selene let out a long, drawn moan and wrapped her legs around him, bringing him closer to her.

He paused and she her breathing came in short, sharp gasps as he quickly tugged at her underwear. Eventually, he gave up and Selene laughed dazedly as she heard the fabric tearing.

Suddenly, his lips were on hers again and she let out a small scream as he entered her.

But he did not stop, and after screwing her eyes tightly shut for a few moments, the worst was over and she began to allow herself to become overcome by the effects of the alcohol.

The sensation of his sweaty skin sliding across hers made her head roll back against the billow and, suddenly, she gasped as he entered her more deeply yet, causing a pleasurable ripple to coarse through her body.

He crashed his lips forcefully against hers and, after a few more strokes, he shuddered and fell back on the bed next to her, muttering something in Greek.

But Selene was too tired to listen and her was out before she had the chance to realise the implications of what she had just done.

* * *

Alphard stared at the full moon, trying not to think of her. She had been a long time gone, and wasn't going to come back.

He lit up a cigarette and blew the smoke out at the night, closing his eyes as he leant his head against the cool stone of his house. It wouldn't have been so bad, perhaps, had she left him with a more definite reason.

He smiled bitterly, his fists balling as he remembered her letter—

How does someone say that they love you, but then leave you without another word?

It had already been nearly three months, and he had not hear from her at all since her leaving not.

'Not a single, fucking letter,' he said bitterly.

He wanted to call her a bitch, a tease… but the pain and confusion of it all prevented him from doing so.

'Eggnog?'

Alphard butted out the cigarette and forced a smile as Ariadne came out onto the balcony and handed him a glass.

'Spiked with rum, just for you,' she whispered in his ear.

He smiled at her and kissed her cheek.

'You're gorgeous. Thanks.'

Ariadne blushed and they both stood in silence for a while.

'So…' she said quietly. 'Our engagement party, eh?'

'Hmm,' Alphard said, sipping his eggnog reservedly.

'She's on your mind, isn't she?' Ariadne sighed.

Alphard's eyes widened and his gaze snapped to where she was standing.

'What do you mean?' he said sharply.

'That girl who you're 'sort of but not really with',' she said kindly. 'You… whenever we're together, or you're alone, I can always tell that you're thinking about her.'

Alphard's eyes hardened.

'Well I'm not,' he said brusquely. 'She and I aren't anything. She's gone. It's been three months since she left me without a word.'

Ariadne blinked.

'She… _she _left you?' she exclaimed.

Alphard looed at her.

'Why do you sound so shocked?'

Ariadne blushed.

'Sorry, I just can't imagine any girl would ever want to leave you. You're so wonderful.'

Alphard felt a pain in his chest at this and he slumped to the ground and pulled out his cigarette case again.

Ariadne sat down next to him quickly and put a hand over his.

'Please don't be upset,' she whispered earnestly. 'I think you should find someone else. Someone who will love you like you deserve. I know she exists for you, Alphie, I know it.'

Alphard turned to look at her slowly and then, without a second thought, leant forward and kissed her.

It was slow, at first, but then he pulled her more closely to him as she caressed his cheek, and neck with her small, white hands.

Suddenly, she pushed him away and stared at him, her grey eyes wide with fear.

'Alphie,' she whispered breathlessly, 'I can't. I can't… you…I…. I love him. I do.'

Alphard turned away, feeling winded yet again.

He breathed heavily and then brought his head back against the stone wall.

'Fuck,' he said, shutting his eyes tightly.

'Alphie…'

'No, no, it's okay,' he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. 'This isn't your fault. You love your Harold. I can't get in the way.'

He opened his eyes suddenly when he heard Ariadne choking back a sob.

'I'm sorry, Ariadne,' he whispered swiftly, taking her face in his hands. 'Please don't…'

She shook her head.

'I'm so…so confused!' she exclaimed tearfully. 'I love Harold, I do, but you're so… so wonderful… and I keep thinking of what my parents would s…say if they found out and… it'd just be so disastrous!'

Alphard said nothing, and tears streaked down Ariadne's cheeks.

'You see, Alphie,' she whispered, 'I don't want to love you, because that would be accepting what I originally hated my parents for wanting to trying to put me through.'

She swallowed thickly.

'But, Alphie, I think I do. I think I really love you.'

* * *

As soon as Selene woke up, she was overcome with the sickening feeling of something being grossly out of place. Firstly, she had a splitting headache and her mouth was putridly dry.

Then, from next to her, there was the sound of a man's snores.

Her eyes flew open and she sprung out of bed, clapping a horrified hand to her mouth.

'Oh fuck!' she whispered frantically, hyperventilating as she summoned her clothes to her and dressed hurriedly. 'Fuck!'

She tore out of the room, went to her hotel room, gathered her bags instantly, and apparated back to the only place which was her home- the orphanage.

'Selene!' Sister Jackie said, surprised as she opened the door. 'What are you…'

'Can I stay here?' she said breathlessly. 'I need to come back. I need to be here. I'll work for the orphanage, I'll… pay my board and everything. I just need to be here,' she said desperately.

Sister Jackie gazed at Selene squarely.

'You left us without a word, dear,' she said, a little coldly. 'We were very worried about you.'

Selene bowed her head, feeling even more humiliated and ashamed.

'I'm so sorry,' she whispered. 'Sister, I'm so sorry for so many things. I really need to come back to my roots, though. I've… I've been very wrong.'

Sister Jackie observed Selene for a few moments longer, before smiling and hugging Selene to her warmly.

'Welcome home, my child.'

* * *

'Try this,' Florean said, holding out a fork with his boef bourgnion for Malkin to taste. 'Enough salt?'

Malkin tried it and simply stared at him.

'What? Not good?' Florean asked anxiously.

Malkin pulled him to her and kissed him passionately.

'Every day, I wonder what I ever did to deserve someone as wonderful as you,' she said firmly.

Florean blushed and kissed her sweetly on her cheek.

'Can you set the table, please? Dinner should be ready in five.'

'Anything for you,' Malkin smiled radiantly, pecking him on the lips again before going to set the table.

The doorbell rang, and they both froze and looked up at each other.

'Are you expecting someone?' Malkin asked Florean.

Florean shook his head.

'No. You?'

Malkin shook her head and they both went to the door. Florean dropped his wooden spoon when he saw who it was.

'Selene!' Malkin gasped, shocked. 'You… you're back?'

Selene nodded numbly, and Malkin let her in.

'Where on earth have you been? We come back from our holiday, and Alphard says that you left him with nothing but a note saying that you leaving… indefinitely.'

They sat at the table, both Florean and Malkin staring at Selene, waiting for an explanation.

'I… I was trying to find my parents,' Selene said, looking at her hands.

'And did you succeed?'

'I…no.'

'Oh,' Malkin said, a little distantly. 'You know, Selene, you could have written. You had a lot of people worried here. Not to mention the fact that you broke Alphard's heart for absolutely no reason. You may be an orphan, but that doesn't mean that you don't have people here who care about you. It was very selfish of you, Selene.'

Malkin's eyes widened, and she clapped a hand to her mouth.

'I'm sorry,' she said apologetically. 'I… I shouldn't have said that. We really were very worried, though, Selene.'

Selene put her face in her hands, breathing heavily.

'I've… done a few very bad things,' she whispered. 'I don't deserve anyone's forgiveness. Especially not Alphard's,' she said, sounding a little hysterical.

Florean and Malkin exchanged a glance, but Selene caught it.

'What?' she said fearfully.

'Selene… he's engaged,' Malkin said tentatively.

Selene blinked.

'I'm… I'm sorry?'

Malkin sighed.

'Look, I want to be nice, but can you expect much else? After two months of not hearing from you- don't you think it's natural that he would expect that you had forgotten about him?'

Selene rubbed her temples, grimacing.

'Yes, yes, of course,' she whispered.

Suddenly, she felt herself becoming overcome with nauseau and stood up suddenly.

'Bathroom?' she gasped.

Malkin pointed to the door and Selene ran and retched into the toilet bowl. Tears streaked her cheeks as she was yet again hit with just how blind she had been for the past few months.

What did getting the Dux of her year mean, if she was left with yet again nothing?

Malkin appeared at the door, and sighed. She wet a towel, and wiped Selene's mouth and then hugged her tightly.

'I'm so glad that you're back,' she whispered. 'I've missed my best friend. I especially missed you on the biggest day of my life.'

Selene stared at Malkin, and then looked down to Malkin's ring finger to see a wedding band.

Selene gasped.

'You two… you're married?'

Malkin nodded, a little apologetically, and Selene hugged her tightly.

'Congratulations,' she said earnestly, 'He's perfect for you.'

'Oh, Selene,' Malkin said sadly. 'It's… what you've been doing these past few months doesn't matter. We all go through periods when we've made mistakes. All you need to do is get on with your life now. Okay?'

Selene sniffed and nodded with Malkin.

'Yes,' Malkin said assertively. 'Yes, we'll get through this together, Selene. You'll be…'

Selene's eyes widened and Malkin shook head.

'Come on, don't be…'

'No,' Selene whispered. 'I need to…'

She ran to the toilet and threw up again. As she wiped her mouth, her eyes widened in horror.

'Selene?' Malkin said, her voice shaking. 'What's wrong with you?'

Selene's breathing came in short and sharp gasps.

'I… I think I may be…be… pregnant.'

* * *

**Dun dun dun....**

**I'm sorry that this chapter took a bit longer to come out than I originally expected, but it should arrive in time for Christmas for most of you. It's the longest chapter of the story yet, however, so I hope it was worth the wait!**

**Next chapter-**

'_How do you enjoy working here?' – _Selene to Tom.

**Yes, they're going to have some interaction! Tom will play a bigger role in the next chapter. Which, as you may expect, will be quite a big chapter. **

**VERY IMPORTANT: A reader of mine, Ally, has created the most AMAZING Youtube fan videos for Witchcraft by a Picture, and 'The Good Morrow'. The links to the videos are on my author's profile. Please check them out, rate and comment them, because they are seriously the best fan videos I've ever seen. They are absolutely perfect for my stories. You will love them.**

**Now, Christmas is a time for giving. I've given you a chapter, and all I'm asking for in return is a review. I think we can manage that!**

**Love, Anya**


	28. Chapter 28: On, Lusty Gentlemen

_**Fear, too early: for my mind misgives**_

_**Some consequence yet hanging in the stars**_

_**Shall bitterly begin his fearful date**_

_**With this night's revels and expire the term**_

_**Of a despised life closed in my breast**_

_**By some vile forfeit of untimely death.**_

Romeo & Juliet- W. Shakespeare

* * *

**On, Lusty Gentlemen**

Alphard hummed to himself happily as he walked through the park. It was the last day of a very confusing year and, finally, his life was starting to make sense.

He lit a cigarette and sat down on the cold park bench and looked out at the lake, devoid of birds.

'A…alphie?'

He stood up suddenly and smiled as he saw Ariadne. He went to kiss her, but she pulled away.

'I… I told him,' she said tearfully. 'I told Ha…harold.'

Alphard hugged her to him and rocked her gently.

'It's okay,' he whispered into her hair, kissing the shell of her ear softly.

Ariadne looked up at Alphard, her grey eyes fearful.

'Alphie, please promise me that this is real. I never wanted to accept what my parents wanted for us, but I will for you. Just… promise me you won't leave me again if she should come back.'

Alphard faltered as he remembered Selene, but constructed a smile.

'She's gone, Ada,' he said firmly, kissing the tip of her nose. 'She left me, and I don't care if she comes back or not. You're my fiancée now, and will be my wife one day. _You_'re the most important woman in my life now.'

Ariadne laughed through her tears and hugged Alphard to her tightly.

'Don't cry,' he said softly, running a hand through her soft, fair hair. 'It's all going to be fine. I know it's hard to let go of someone who you've loved for so long…'

Ariadne shook her head and looked at Alphard earnestly.

'That doesn't matter to me anymore,' she said softly. 'I just… I can't believe my parents would ever find me such a perfect man!'

Alphard smiled at her and kissed her again.

'I know. I mean, who ever knew my little cousin Ada would turn into such a beautiful woman?'

Ariadne faltered.

'Harold… he said that I was sick to consider marrying my cousin,' she said quietly. 'Do you think it's wrong, Alphie? Is it wrong that we actually love each other?'

Alphard swallowed hard. The thought had been playing on his thoughts as well.

'I don't know,' he admitted. 'But members of our family have been doing it for centuries.'

'They've also been killing muggleborns for sport for centuries as well,' Ariadne murmured, her cheeks burning.

Alphard sighed and sat back down on the bench.

'What do you want me to say, Ada? Perhaps if we weren't in this family, you and I would never have stopped to think any more of each other. As it happens, we are betrothed… so why not love each other as well? After all, we're going to be married anyway and have to do everything else that comes along with it whether we like it or not. Why shouldn't we enjoy it?'

Ariadne looked horrified.

'So that's why you love me? Because it would be _convenient_?'

'No,' Alphard said seriously. 'I love you for you, Ada. It's just… I'm being honest when I say that I would have never fallen in love with you hadn't we been betrothed. You asked whether it was wrong that cousins should love each other- and that's my answer.'

Ariadne looked down at the ground and Alphard stood up and kissed her sweetly.

'Come,' he said. 'We should get back for the preparations for tonight.'

* * *

'This will tell me if I am, or not?' Selene asked dubiously.

Malkin nodded.

'Selene…. You can't raise a child still living in the orphanage,' she said seriously. 'You have to move out.'

Selene looked away.

'I like being there.'

'But why?' Malkin said incredulously

'Because it's home,' Selene said. 'Because… it keeps me grounded, being there.'

'Well, either way, you'd have to move out. You know that, right?'

'So you think I really am?' Selene asked quietly.

'I don't know,' Malkin said. 'I guess we'll just have to take this test.'

Selene nodded and Malkin took her hand, and pricked her finger. They watched quietly as the droplet of blood fell into the basin of clear potion.

Selene gasped as the potion swirled black.

'Please turn clear, please turn clear,' Malkin repeated.

Their eyes widened as the potion turned clear, and they both sighed in relief.

'Just _how _could you have been so _stupid_?' Malkin said incredulously, turning on her. 'Selene! You're meant to be the smart one- the sensible one! How the _hell_ do you go from being Head Girl, Dux of the year with the perfect boyfriend to potentially pregnant to a total stranger?'

Selene's breaths came in short, sharp gasps.

'Please don't,' she murmured, sounding pained. 'I know I lost it when I finished school…'

'Well you've certainly taken your time to make things clear,' Malkin said.

Selene stood up suddenly, tears streaking down her cheeks.

'You know, Malkin, you were perfect once too, and you too lost it. People make mistakes, and if anyone should know that- it should be you. I thought you would have been more understanding.'

She picked up her bag and stalked out of the leaky cauldron.

'Selene!' Malkin called after her hopelessly.

Selene ignored Malkin and went to the public bathrooms and locked herself in a cubicle. Her hands shook as she rummaged through her bag.

'Yes, that Riddle boy. Apparently he was one of the most perfect students Hogwarts had ever seen.'

Selene dropped her bag and gasped at the mention of Tom. She bent over- one hand clutching at the walls whilst the other grasped at her stomach.

'And now what is he doing- working at Borgin and Burke's! And they say the Head Girl has disappeared… not a very good turn out, after all. And to think this was meant to be Hogwarts' most promising year of graduates. That's what Dippett said when he came round to dinner last summer. He said that this year's graduates would be Hogwarts' finest yet.'

There was the sound of two tongues clicking, and Selene quickly left the bathroom. She stopped the first person she saw on the street.

'Excuse me,' she whispered. 'Where is Borgin and Burke's?'

The lady's eyes widened with horror.

'Dear, why on _earth_ would you want to go to such a store?'

'I need to know,' Selene pleaded desperately. 'Please!'

The woman stepped back cautiously.

'Over there in Knockturn Alley,' she said distantly, walking off quickly.

Selene blinked as she felt her vision blurring, and staggered over to Knockturn Alley, ignoring the beggars who clutched at the bottom of her robes and tried to ask her for money. She saw the peeling sign that read 'Borgin & Burke's' and burst through the door.

The store was empty, and then realised that she didn't want Tom to see her as she was. Quickly, she whipped out her wand at performed a disguise charm over herself.

Her hair was now blonde and short, her eyes green, and her nose slightly larger.

'Hello?'

She stared at him and couldn't help feeling calmer as he walked towards her.

'Can I help you?' he asked politely.

She merely stared at him, and he shifted uncomfortably.

'Ma'am?'

She blinked.

'Oh, yes. I was after a gift.'

Tom nodded.

'Very well.'

'I was wondering if you could perhaps assist me. You see, I have absolutely _no _idea what to buy.'

'What is the gift for?'

Selene faltered, but then thought of Alphard.

'An engagement,' she said automatically.

Tom nodded.

'Are they registered with us, here?'

'I don't know,' she said. 'Is Mr Black registered here?'

Tom's gaze snapped at her.

'Mr Black?' he said sharply.

'Yes,' she said, her chest wrenching painfully. 'Mr Alphard Black.'

Tom stared at her, his expression unreadable.

'Sir?'

'Mr _Alphard _Black is engaged?' he whispered.

'Yes, sir,' she nodded. 'And I was after an engagement present.'

'For him, or his fiancée?' he said, his eyes hard and jaws set.

Selene watched him curiously.

'Either, really.'

'For his fiancée,' he said through gritted teeth. 'You should get her a present.'

Selene bowed her head.

'Very well,' she said quietly. 'What do you have that is appropriate?'

'She likes reading, though we don't have books that are appropriate for her. You should try Flourish and Blotts.'

Selene's felt a crushing pain in her chest.

'You've met her?' she whispered.

'I was at school with her,' he said, not looking at her.

'You… you were?'

'Yes,' he said shortly. 'You could buy her jewellery if you like.'

'I don't know her tastes,' Selene said. 'You say she likes reading?'

'Yes. She's very clever. Perhaps you should try something from Diagon Alley. She wouldn't appreciate anything from this store.'

'Oh,' Selene said, looking down. 'Well, in that case- can I have… this hand mirror. For personal use,' she added, picking up the first thing she saw.

Tom looked at her dubiously.

'Do you know what this mirror is?' he whispered.

Selene looked to him.

'No.'

'It's the mirror which shows you your one true weakness.'

Selene swallowed thickly and looked to Tom.

'I'll take it,' she said, glancing up at Tom.

He nodded swiftly and took the mirror, not looking at it, and wrapped it face down at the counter.

'How… how do you enjoy working here?'

Tom glanced at her, a little incredulous, and shrugged.

'It's a very fascinating shop.'

'That it is,' Selene agreed.

'That will be twenty galleons.'

Selene pursed her lips and handed over the money. Tom counted it meticulously, and then nodded.

'Enjoy,' he said, smiling falsely.

Selene nodded and walked to the door.

'It was very nice seeing you, Tom,' she said quietly before she stepped out of the door and disapparated instantly.

Tom's head snapped up as he heard his name and ran to the door, only to find that she had disappeared.

* * *

Tom woke suddenly and looked to the clock to see that it was only 12.30 am. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he stared at the ceiling.

He couldn't believe that she had become engaged to him so soon. He had assumed that they might end up together, but he had never expected Selene to accept a marriage proposal at their young age.

Furthermore, he found it hard to believe that Alphard's family had accepted her so readily into their family.

'Then again,' he reasoned, 'they hadn't put a registry with us. Perhaps he's been rejected from the family, and that woman is a sole sympathiser with that Black fool.'

He pinched the bridge of his nose. He always thought Selene could do better.

He started as he heard an explosion outside, and went to the window to see fireworks lighting the sky. He sighed as he realised that it was a New Year.

'Happy New Year,' he muttered to himself, closing the blinds and going back to bed.

* * *

'Happy New Year, m'boy.'

Alphard grinned and turned around and clinked his champagne glass with his Uncle Regulus.

'Uncle Regulus. Happy New Year!' he said happily, shaking his hand. 'I didn't know you were here!'

'Ah, yes, well the wife's finally given birth- that was yesterday. So I thought- to hell with it! I should come and celebrate the New Year with my favourite nephew!'

Alphard grinned.

'Congratulations, Uncle. Now, what is my new cousin's name?'

'Talitha,' Regulus said indifferently. 'Now, I hear that congratulations are in order. I hear that you're engaged?'

Alphard smiled and glanced over at Ariadne, who looked up and smiled at him.

'I must say, Alphie,' Regulus said, putting an arm around Alphard's shoulder. 'I expected better of you.'

Alphard frowned.

'But…'

'Yes, yes, I know that it was arranged and all, but aren't you clever enough to get out of it?'

Alphard's shoulders dropped.

'I don't want to get out of it,' he said resolutely. 'I love her.'

Regulus laughed.

'Oh, come now. Love, at your age? I seem to remember your telling me that you loved a muggle girl called Camelia, or something.'

'Camille,' Alphard said stoutly. 'Uncle, I don't see why you shouldn't approve of this union.'

'Because, Alphard,' Regulus said, 'I thought you were _special_. I thought you were learning to love _many _women while you still can. And yet you're choosing to settle right away! Now is a time in your life when you're meant to be gathering new experiences. The way you're going, you will never grow as a person. It is essential to one's education to have many affairs before settling for a partner.'

Alphard crossed his arms.

'You make marriage sound like a sentence.'

Regulus laughed and patted Alphard on the shoulder.

'Oh, Alphie, my boy. Don't be naïve, of course it is.'

Alphard shook his head.

'No. It's different with Ada. We love each other.'

'Oh yes,' Regulus murmured, lighting a cigarette and offering one to Alphard. 'I fancied myself in love with Laetitia when I married her. I quickly learned my lesson. Unfortunately for me, divorce has never been an option. It's not practical, you see, as her father is our biggest source of income.'

Alphard drew from the cigarette and looked out over the balcony.

'You really think it's inevitable that love dies?' he wondered.

'Of course. Everything must run it's natural course. Unfortunately, love runs its course much faster than life, so you're left in a relationship where you can't stand the sight of the other person for a good many years. In fact, I believe it begins with the first child.'

'Why?' Alphard said curiously.

'Why, the segregation of rooms,' Regulus said, as though this was obvious. 'But it's worse when you have to go back to them, because they're never the same. They're damaged, which is only natural given what has to pass through them.'

Alphard grimaced.

'All things which you should avoid for as long as possible,' Regulus whispered in his ear. 'Stall the marriage, Alphie. Do it for your sake. You have too much potential to become a mindless husband at this age.'

'I could never be mindless!' Alphard exclaimed.

Regulus raised an eyebrow and downed the rest of his champagne.

'In marriage, one does not think for ones self. Their wife does, and wives are always foolish. No, don't look at me like that- they are. Even your precious 'Ada'. All fanciful with romantic notions of this and that… well, Alphard, life is not romantic.'

'But…'

'Oh, yes, one loves women, but one should not be _in love_ with a woman. Do you see the distinction? Being _in love_ blinds one. _Loving _one, however, gives you a good deal of life experience. Surely, in your short time as a bachelor, you have noticed this?'

Alphard thought about it, and realised that there was some truth in it. When he had been with many girls at a time, he had clarity of mind- a free man and therefore a free thinker. When he was with Selene, however, everything had been about her, and trying to accommodate her.

'Ah, there's my boy. I knew you had potential in you,' Regulus said, clapping Alphard on the shoulder.

'But what do I do?' Alphard said, looking to his uncle. 'It will break her heart. I promised her…'

'Oh, just stall it at first… then avoid her when you can. It's easy enough.'

'Oh, Alphie, _there_ you are!'

Regulus winked at Alphard, who felt indecision seizing him as Ariadne approached him, and left.

'There's only a minute left of the year,' she whispered to him. 'I wanted to start it with you.'

He forced a smile and she hesitated.

'Is something the matter?'

'What? Oh, no, no…'

Suddenly, fireworks exploded in the sky and Ariadne smiled and kissed Alphard softly.

'Happy New Year, my darling,' she whispered to him. 'I love you.'

He smiled at her and kissed her.

'And I you.'

He looked up and saw Regulus watching him, looking amused, and then turned away from her.

'Alphie, something's the matter! What is it?'

Alphard shook his head and kissed her hand.

'Oh nothing. Uncle Regulus just gave me something to think about, is all.'

Ariadne pursed her lips.

'Mother says that Uncle Regulus is a social deviant and that I shouldn't listen to a word he says.'

'Well, your mother _would_ say that, wouldn't she? After all, she was quite happy to marry you off to your own cousin.'

Ariadne blinked back hurt tears.

'Alphie?'

Alphard sighed.

'I'm sorry. But please don't speak about Uncle Regulus in that way. He is a very modern and forward-thinking man. Brilliant man.'

'Hardly,' Ariadne said. 'He's abandoned his own wife and children on New Years' Eve.'

'Perhaps it's because they don't accommodate to his needs,' Alphard shrugged.

'How can you say that!' Ariadne exclaimed. 'His wife just gave birth- shouldn't _he _be accommodating to _her _needs?'

'Why shouldn't he have needs?'

'Because he's done nothing to deserve it! He married his wife, and therefore is obliged to take care of her in a time of recovery such as this.'

Alphard said nothing and Ariadne's eyes widened in horror.

'Alphie, he's brainwashed you with his poisonous musings. Listen to me, I know you're a good person. I know you have a lot of love in you and could never do that to me. Right?'

Alphard looked away.

'You seem to think that men don't have needs.'

'No, I never…'

'Yes you did.'

Ariadne sniffed and Alphard turned his back to her.

'Alphard, don't do this,' she whispered numbly. 'You said that you loved me unconditionally. You promised.'

Alphard toyed with the notion that, perhaps, his Uncle was wrong. He decided that he would forget all he had been told that night, and meet his Uncle the next day to discuss the matters further.

He turned around and smiled at Ariadne, who was watching him fearfully.

'Forgive me, Ada. I was being a royal prat. I'm sorry, my dear. Can you forgive me?'

Ariadne looked at him uncertainly.

'Why are you speaking to me in that condescending manner?'

Alphard tugged at his hair.

'Can I not win with you? I apologise, and I'm being 'condescending'?'

Ariadne kissed Alphard.

'I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' she murmured between kisses. 'I'm just being paranoid. You scared me for a moment there, Alphie. I thought that you were about to tell me that you didn't love me after all!'

Alphard smiled at her.

'Now, what would put that silly notion in your pretty head?'

Ariadne smiled meekly and Alphard kissed, a little desperately. When they pulled away, she toyed with the lace on her skirt.

'Alphie, I've been thinking… I don't want to wait for our wedding night. It'll seem so ritualistic- so impersonal. I want…tonight. I want it to be us, tonight.'

Alphard felt taken aback.

'Ada… tonight? Are you sure?'

She nodded seriously.

'We could go to your room now. No one would miss us.'

'But…'

She kissed him.

'I'm sure. I won't regret it, ever. I promise.'

Alphard hesitated, and then took her hand as he lead her out of the ballroom, crowded with their relatives, to his room.

--

He wasn't sure why, suddenly, he started thinking about Selene. Perhaps it was because she had never given herself to him. And more he tried to stop thinking of her, the more vivid her picture became in his mind's eye. Suddenly, he imagined what it would be like if it was she who he was moving on top of, not Ariadne. As much as he hated himself for it, he really wished that were the case.

* * *

'How does one go about getting a job?'

'Oh, you just have to send in a CV and why you think you'd be good for it to begin with,' Malkin said. 'And then they might ask you for an interview. Are you thinking of getting one?'

Selene nodded, smiling.

'Yes. It hurt, what you said, but it was true- now that the new year's started, I need to get some direction in my life. I've come far too far not to have any direction.'

Malkin smiled.

'Oh, it's _so _good to hear you thinking like that again. I was worried that I'd have to be the responsible one in this relationship!'

Selene smiled.

'Oh, I think you already are. Running a household and being married…'

Malkin blushed.

'It _is _very nice,' she admitted. 'Maybe you should consider going out with someone again. Properly, this time,' she added.

Selene shrugged.

'One thing at a time. I'll get a job, and then see how I go.'

Malkin patted Selene's hand.

'Very good. For women, there aren't _too _many opportunities. They're mainly secretarial unless you want to become a Healer?'

Selene shook her head.

'No. No desire to do that,' she said screwing up her nose.

'Then- I think you should apply for a position at the Ministry. Oh look- the Auror's office is hiring for secretaries.'

Selene frowned.

'But why can't _I _become an Auror? Merlin knows I'd be a good one.'

'Because, unfortunately, we are the oppressed sex,' Malkin sighed.

'Oh yes,' Selene said grimly. 'Just like the Duelling competiton.'

Malkin said nothing.

'It doesn't affect me too much as a fashion designer… but of course, all the male designers get preference. They like to think that they know what works on a female body better than us females do.'

Selene pursed her lips and Malkin patted her hand.

'Take the secretarial job for now. You can always quit, but I think you need something for now.'

Selene sighed, but nodded nonetheless.

'You're right. It's just a temporary thing until something better comes up.'

* * *

'Alphie, m'boy, so glad that we could do lunch. I noticed you disappeared of with your _cherie_ last night, and didn't get to bid you farewell.'

Alphard blushed and Regulus chuckled.

'Ah, I see. Little Ariadne isn't as innocent as I thought she was.'

Alphard's eyes flashed.

'Please don't speak of her in that way, Uncle,' he said reasonably. 'She's the dearest, sweetest girl.'

'Oh yes, they all begin that way. And end up bitter old cows. Now, what shall we drink? I think two martinis shall do well. Plymouth Gin, mind you,' he added to the waitress.

'Yes, sir,' she smiled, walking off.

Regulus' lips twitched.

'A fine rump on that girl,' he commented. 'You could have her if you wanted, Alphie.'

Alphard glanced at the waitress disinterestedly.

'I've had much better. You see, uncle, that's the thing. After Selene, and Ariadne… I don't think I could go back to a stupid girl. It'll feel like a step back.'

'Selene, eh?'

Alphard's cheeks burned.

'She left.'

'Left? Where?'

'I don't know,' he admitted. 'She left me a note saying she needed to find her parents or something. She's an orphan, you see.'

'Orphan?'

Alphard looked up at his uncle.

'It's not as bad as you think. She was Dux of the Year, you know.'

'Really,' Regulu said disinterestedly.

'Yes.'

'She can't have been pretty then.'

'Oh she was. The most beautiful. Of course, I try not to think of her in that way- I love Ada now.'

Regulus chuckled and lit up a cigarette.

'Cig?'

Alphard shook his head.

'Ada's asked me to quit for her,' he said.

Regulus raised an eyebrow, and merely observed Alphard, who shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

'What?' he said irritably.

'I was just merely musing upon the fact that I am right, and you still can't see it. I told you that women try to change you for who they want you to be- and look- your little Ada has already forced you to quit the pleasure of true gentlemen- cigarettes.'

Alphard's eyes widened in shock.

'I… I never even noticed it,' he said softly.

Regulus laughed.

'There is a reason why Delilah was Samson's weakness,' he mused. 'It's always women- they do it with a smile, and a kiss. They do it so that you don't even notice that they're manipulating you, but oh they do, and they do it very well. The world's master manipultors, I shall give them that.'

Alphard shifted uncomfortably.

'You know, I do see some truth in this,' he mused.

'Of course you do!' Regulus laughed. 'Because I've had years of experience to know that it is!'

--

Alphard closed his eyes drowsily as he was overcome by the empowering scent of cheap perfume and opium.

'Where are we?' he muttered woozily to Regulus.

'The temple of women. The only women who will love you and not ask for anything other than your money,' he said, leading him through the decaying mansion.

'What girl would the young sir like?' the buxom Madam asked, smiling to reveal that she was missing a tooth.

Alphard closed his eyes as the foreign music swam over him.

'I think a foreign one, for my nephew. He needs to widen his experiences.'

'Wai wai!' the Madam called. 'Gentleman for you.'

Alphard blinked woozily as he saw the petit woman approaching him in nothing but her scanty underpants. She was of Asian origin, but he had no idea where.

'I'm…'

'No need,' she whispered to him, kissing his lips seductively. 'No name. I make you happy, you enjoy,' she said, blowing the sweet smoke from her joint into his mouth.

He felt his knees becoming weak, and she laughed lightly and took his hand as she led him to one of the private rooms.

'Come.'

--

As soon as he returned home, Alphard knew instinctively that something was wrong. He knew that he had spoiled his relationship with Ariadne by visiting the whorehouse, and could not have been sorrier that he hadn't taken her advice about his Uncle.

'I'm home,' he called as he made his way to go to the bathroom.

'Oh, Alphard!' his mother cried, rushing to him.

He froze as he saw the tears in her eyes and felt his heart freezing.

'What?' he whispered. 'What is it?'

'It's Ariadne,' Walburga said grimly, walking into the hallway. 'She's dead'.

* * *

**Big chapter. I really liked Ariadne, so it was very hard to kill her off, but unfortunately was very necessary. A bit on the chauvinism/feminism aspect of those times in this chapter as well. Well, it would have been very apparent when getting a job in those days. **

**Next chapter will be quite big as MANY things will be happening-**

**1/ **'I would like you to join my group, the Death Eaters,'- Tom to Selene

2/ Find out how and why Ariadne died

3/ Hepzibah Smith will finally make her appearance

**Now I shall suppose that the somewhat dwindling review count from last chapter was because you were possibly too busy with Christmas? Well, Christmas is over and there's a while yet between now and New Years' Eve, so I see no reason as to why you can't review this chapter.**

**I may or may not post again before the New Year. It all depends on your reviews. Happy New Year, if I don't!**

**Much love,  
Anya**


	29. Chapter 29: DeathMark'd Love

"_**Nothing afeard of what thyself didst make, **_

_**Strange images of death**__**"**_

'_**Macbeth', W. Shakespeare**_

_

* * *

_

**Death-Mark'd Love**

'Miss Asteria?'

Selene smiled and walked into the office.

'Roger Kilmore, Head of Department,' the man said, his lips quirking into a crooked smile.

He was a man in his forties, with sharp black eyes, and a thin moustache.

'How do you do?' Selene said politely, sitting in the chair which Roger pulled out for her.

'Very well, thank you. I understand you wish to apply for a position as secretary?'

'Yes, sir,' Selene said, swallowing nervously as she smoothed her new robes over her knees.

Roger Kilmore glanced at her knees, and it lingered there.

'Sir?' Selene said clearly, the heat creeping up her neck.

He smiled and looked up at her unapologetically.

'I see you got Outstandings in all of your NEWTs.'

'Yes, sir. And Dux of my graduating year,' Selene said, her voice becoming steely.

Roger smiled, and Selene could see it was condescending.

'Dux out of the females of your year, no doubt?' he drawled.

'No,' Selene said firmly, her hands beginning to shake. 'Dux of the entire year. Males included. I also won the School Duelling competition that year- including both males and females,' she snapped.

'Ah, well, Duelling won't help you here,' Roger said lightly. 'After all, you're not applying for Auror training, but to be secretary to the Aurors.'

Selene's eyes widened at the indignity of his comment and it took all her strength to refrain from bursting out of the office immediately.

'Have you ever had a secretarial position?'

'No,' Selene said through gritted teeth.

'So you have no prior knowledge of what is expected?'

'I imagine it shouldn't be anything too hard, compared to achieving Outstandings in each of my NEWTs,' she said acidly.

Rpger smiled placidly.

'Yes, yes,' he said, disinterestedly. 'Well, in that case we'll have to get back to you. We really do want a girl who has had some experience in the field.'

Selene stared at him, incredulous at the thought that- despite everything she had achieved- she was being rejected from simple job as a secretary.

'I look forward to hearing from you,' she said insincerely, standing up and extending a hand.

Roger looked at her, and Selene shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

'You must understand,' he said softly. 'We are the most important department, and I am Head. I am second only to the Minister himself. Naturally, it is of the utmost importance that I hire the perfect girl for the job.'

Selene wished that she could have duelled him then and there, but then decided that he would probably win.

'Naturally,' she said through her teeth.

'Hm,' he smiled, continuing to gaze into her face. 'Expect to hear from our current secretary in three days' time.'

Selene went to leave, but then paused.

'You already have a secretary?'

'Oh yes, but she's pregnant and just won't do. We can't have her being all forgetful and slow-witted, spending half her mornings in the bathroom. She will resign by the end of the week.'

--

'Men,' Selene seethed, 'are such bastards. I wish… Oh I wish I could hang them all! What's the use in them?'

'Come, now, you're taking a very bad example,' Malkin said calmly. 'Look at Florean.'

'You are _so _lucky to have found him,' Selene said sincerely, sipping her cocktail. 'I have a feeling I'll end up an old maid. After today, however, I'm not so sure that's a bad thing. Anything is better than being married to someone like that Roger prat.'

Malkin sighed.

'I suppose.'

'I mean… honestly! I was the Dux of our year, and he thinks I can't handle a job as secretary?'

Malkin shot Selene a knowing look.

'What?' Selene snapped.

'Well… do you think you could? Those Aurors would without a doubt be hitting on you at every opportunity, perhaps try to frisk you up a bit when no one's looking… could you really stand that?'

'I shouldn't have to stand it!' Selene said indignantly. 'It's wrong!'

'On the other hand,' Malkin shrugged. 'Perhaps that Roger just wants whoever will suck his cock.'

'Malkin!' Selene hissed, looking embarrassed.

'Believe me,' Malkin said drily. 'You become very desnsitised after a while of it. Oh, and expect them to curse around you at every opportunity.'

Selene sighed.

'Lovely. A job as a Healer's looking quite appealing now.'

'Well, you'd have to study for a few years before you could become a Healer… and then you would still have a lower-paid position than the male healers, who will all have the better specialisations.'

Selene groaned.

'There's no winning.'

'Unfortunately not,' Malkin said grimly. 'Another drink?'

'I think so.'

--

'Huh.'

'What?'

'I got the job.'

Selene was being a mannequin for Malkin's final piece for her fashion portfolio.

'You did?' Malkin smiled. 'That's great!'

'I'm not so sure,' Selene said apprehensively. 'I don't want to be taken advantage of.'

'Well, you have your wandless magic, not to mention your brilliant Duelling skills to save you should you ever get stuck,' Malkin reminded Selene.

'True… so I should take it?'

'I'd give it a go, yes. That means you can find your own place soon. You know, I hear tell that the apartment next door is going to be free, soon. It'll be just like school!'

'Malkin,' Selene said plainly. 'You're married. It'll hardly be like school.'

'We'll be neighbours, and that's better than nothing!' Malkin said hopefully.

Selene smiled.

'Okay, well you keep an ear out for that apartment, and I'll try avoiding sexual exploitation in the meantime.'

* * *

'Riddle? Where are you?'

Tom looked up from where he was filing away paperwork.

'Here, sir,' he said.

'I want you to make a visit for me. I've got an appointment and can't do it myself- you'll have to shut up shop, today. She's a very valued customer of ours- a Miss Hepzibah Smith. Now, she has a certain article which I want- goblin-made armour. Ask her how much she's willing to sell it for.'

Tom nodded.

'Very well, sir.'

'Here's the address. She's expecting us at four.'

Tom glanced at the clock.

'That's in five minutes, sir.'

Borgin nodded.

'Yes, so what are you waiting for?'

Tom sighed, summoned his suit jacket went outside and disapparated. He apparated in front of a small, but luxurious town house. Clearing his throat, he pressed the doorbell.

'It's Borgin, it's Borgin! Hokey, answer the door!'

Tom sighed patiently as he heard the patter of the House Elf's feet coming towards the front door. He wondered how long the enquiry would make, and wondered if he might be lucky enough to get off work early. He knew he could shut up the store in three minutes flat.

'You're not Mr Borgin,' Hokey squeaked as she opened the door.

Tom cleared his throat.

'No, I'm his assistant. Mr Borgin was too busy to come today.'

'What's the delay, Hokey?'

Hokey squeaked incoherently and Tom's eyes widened when he saw a grotesque woman, dressed in frilly magenta, and what appeared to be an entire palette of makeup on her face.

'Oh, my, and who are you my dear?' she said, blushing heavily under her makeup as she approached Tom.

'My name is Tom Riddle,' he said cordially. 'I've been sent by Mr Bogin to enquire after a certain piece of goblin-made armour.'

Hepzibah stared at him for a moment, and then let out a girly giggle.

'Oh, oh, they're so handsome these days, Hokey,' she tittered, letting Tom into the house. 'I'm certain they were never this handsome in my day.'

Tom cleared his throat and followed Hepzibah into a huge room that was cluttered with antiques. His eyes widened as he realised how much value there was in that sole room.

'Please, take a seat,' Hepzibah said, pointing to the opposite armchair. 'Will you have tea?'

'Yes, please,' Tom said, his mind calculating.

'Hokey, please bring out my cupcakes and some tea,' Hepzibah ordered. 'Now, Mr Riddle, isn't it?'

'Oh please, Ma'am, call me Tom,' he smiled.

'Oh… Tom,' Hepzibah whispered, blushing again. 'You work for that store?'

'Yes, Ma'am.'

'And how long have you worked there for?'

'Since I finished school last year. About eight months now, if you will.'

'Ah. And how did you like school?'

'Very well, thank you,' he smiled, causing her to blush again. 'I got Outstandings in all my NEWTs and was Head Boy.'

'Oh my!' Hepzibah breathed. 'Handsome _and _clever! Tell me, Tom, do you have a lady companion?'

Tom's lips twitched as he thought of what Selene's expression would be like if she was watching the exchange.

'No, Ma'am, I'm afraid I don't.'

'Now how can that be!' Hepzibah cried. 'A young man such as yourself…. I say, the girls of today are quite mad.'

Tom bowed his head.

'I must admit, I find the girls of my generation to be quite tiresome.'

'Oh, oh,' Hepzibah said, looking flustered, but pleased all the same. 'I say, where is that elf of mine? Hokey!'

Hokey rushed into the room, balancing a tea set in one arm, and the goblin armour in the other.

'Ah, yes. Now, this is the goblin armour you're after?'

'I believe so, yes, ma'am.'

Hepzibah nodded.

'You tell your Mr Borgin that I won't take a knut less than a thousand galleons. Now, enough of that- you really must try my cupcakes!'

--

Had he not been certain that Hepzibah owned items which could be of extreme value to him, Tom had been bored to the extent that he wanted to kill her just to shut her up.

He arrived at Borgin and Bourke's to find Bourke rushing out, asking him to lock up. Tom sighed and went to the key cabinet. He heard the chime to the door tinkling and came back into the room to see a man, dressed expensively.

'Ah, you, boy. The name's Black, Regulus Black. Now listen here- the engagement of my nephew Alphard Black has been called off and I need to return their wedding present. I'm a regular customer here so I see no reason as to why I shouldn't get a full refund.'

Tom blinked.

'The wedding's been calld off?' he repeated, strangely pleased.

'Yes, the girl died. Now, if you don't mind, I need to be off so I'd like a refund on this please.'

Tom stared at Regulus blankly.

'Boy, do you hear me?'

Tom glanced numbly at Regulus.

'D…dead?' he whispered. 'She's… d…dead?'

He felt a wave of nausea overcoming him. Selene couldn't be dead- not like that. Not so young, and not without him being there. It was all wrong.

'Yes,' Regulus said irritably. 'Now, my refund please- if you don't mind.'

Tom felt both his anger at the death of Selene, and at the man's attitude grating on his nerves. Without thinking, he whipped out his wand-

'_Avada Kedavra.'_

--

He disposed of the body in an instant. Without wasting a second thought, he apparated back to the orphanage.

'Tom!' Sister Jackie said, looking both surprised and scared. 'What are you doing here?'

'Selene,' he whispered, his heart pounding in his chest. 'What happened to her?'

Sister Jackie frowned.

'I don't know. She moved out of the orphanage last month to start her new job.'

Tom wanted to kill Sister Jackie for being just as useless, but simply ran to the nearby field. He had no idea where to go next. The only option he felt he had was to go to the Black house, but he had no desire to speak to Alphard Black. He was sure Alphard must have had something to do with her death.

He suddenly remembered hearing something about Florean Fortescue marrying Malkin Lefevre, and apparated to the nearest Wizarding Address Directory.

--

Malkin let out a gasp of shock when she opened the door to find Tom.

'What…what do you want,' she whispered, fingering her wand in her apron.

'Is it true?' he whispered, his eyes fixing on hers intensely. 'Is she dead?'

'How did you find my address?' Malkin snapped.

Tom gripped her by the shoulders and Malkin whimpered.

'Is she dead?' he repeated slowly.

'Is _who _dead?'

'Selene!' he said, feeling something ripping unpleasantly in his chest.

Malkin blinked.

'Who told you that?' she whispered. 'I just saw her ten minutes ago. She lives next door. Unless…. Oh no…'

Malkin went to run to the next apartment, but Tom held her back.

'Never mind. I was misinformed. If you saw her ten minutes ago, then she's alive,' he said grimly.

Malkin watched Tom suspiciously.

'Who told you she was dead?'

'I work at Borgin and Bourke's,' he said simply. 'A customer said that he wanted to return a wedding present for Black and Selene's wedding because 'the girl' had died.'

Malkin's eyes became wide.

'Oh no….' she whispered. 'How sad.'

Tom raised his eyebrows incredulously.

'But…'

Malkin suddenly laughed a little.

'Oh, Alphard was engaged to some other girl. Not Selene. She hasn't seen him for a while.'

Tom's eyes widened with comprehension.

'Oh,' he said stiffly. 'We had a lot of people buying engagement presents, and I assumed…'

'No,' Malkin said.

Tom nodded.

'Well, that's all I wanted to know. Good evening.'

And with that, Tom disapparated. Malkin exhaled slowly, and looked towards Selene's door. She wasn't sure if she should tell her or not that Tom had come looking for her.

'Better not. She's finally sorting herself out, and knowing he might care won't help her. I'll tell her about the failed engagement tomorrow,' she said to herself, locking her front door behind her.

* * *

'Miss Asteria, kindly explain to me what this is?'

Selene looked up from the pile of documents she was trying to sort, flustered, to see Roger holding a cup of coffee.'

'Coffee, sir,' she said.

'No, it's more like cat's piss. Don't you know how to make a cup of coffee? They didn't teach you that when studying for your NEWTs?'

Selene tried not to tear up at being spoken to in such a manner.

She cleared her throat quickly.

'No, sir,' she said coolly. 'I'm afraid there wasn't time for a coffee-making course with all the theory and practical knowledge we were expected to learn.'

'Fucking useless. Unless you learn how to make a decent cup of coffee by tomorrow, don't come to work again,' he snapped at her, roughly seizing the papers from her desk and slamming his office door behind him.

Selene made a face at the door and then glanced at the clock longingly.

'Oh dear. A few days into your job and you're already casting such glances at the clock,' an amused voice came behind her.

Selene glanced up dully at Sean, who had been accepted into Auror training.

'Hello, Sean,' she said disapprovingly. 'Don't you have training to be attending?'

'No,' he said airly. 'Shouldn't you be sucking off Roger in his office?'

'You're disgusting,' Selene hissed. 'I don't know why Alphard was ever friends with you.'

'Ah, well, we're not quite anymore. He and I didn't see eye to eye on a certain matter,' Sean said, his tone hardening. 'Though I heard he was engaged to another bird. Not you, in other words.'

'Yes,' Selene sniped. 'He is.'

'No, was,' Sean corrected, sitting on the edge of her desk and fiddling with her papers. 'You see, she died.'

Selene's eyes widened.

'What? How?'

Sean smiled non-telllingly.

'Why, now, I can't see how that's any of your business. Now, I'd like you to fix me a coffee to go.'

Selene glared at him.

'The coffee percolator is over there. You can make a coffee yourself. I'm Roger's secretary, not yours.'

Sean raised an eyebrow.

'Would you like me to inform Roger that you refuse to make his star protégé a coffee?'

'He'd probably tell you it's for the better and that my coffee's cat-piss anyway,' Selene muttered haughtily, reluctantly getting up to make a coffee.

Sean leant against the wall.

'That's pretty sad, you know,' Selene continued. 'To think that _you're _the best of this year's batch of aurors. I could have you twisting on the ground in the blink of an eye.'

Sean glared at Selene, who grimaced and handed him his mug.

'There you go, _protégé_,' she said acidly. 'Now, if you'll excuse me, it's five o'clock, and my working day is over.'

--

Selene walked through Diagon Alley, feeling exhausted. Working in the Auror's office was more demeaning and frustrating than she ever could have imagined it would be. She felt ready to cry, from how terrible her day had been, and the prospect of merely going home to an empty apartment- Florean and Malkin were going on a date- made her feel even worse.

She glanced at her watch, and wondered if Tom had finished working for the day. She decided to go see- just in case.

Adopting the same disguise she had the last time she saw him, she went to Borgin and Bourke's. He was a reading a book, and sitting at the counter when she walked in.

'Here to return your engagement present?' he enquired, sounding bored.

Selene frowned.

'I never bought an engagement from here,' she said.

'Oh, that's right,' Tom nodded.

'But why would I return the engagement present?' Selene frowned curiously.

'Didn't you hear? The girl died?'

Selene's eyes widened. No matter how many nights she had spent wishing that she could be allowed another chance with Alphard- she would never have ever wished death upon his fiancée.

'That's terrible. Do you know how?' she breathed.

Tom shook his head, looking bored.

'Oh,' Selene said, looking down.

'You called me 'Tom', the last time you were here,' Tom said suspiciously, getting up from his chair and walking over to her.

'I've heard of you,' Selene lied. 'I've heard from friends that you're a very powerful wizard.'

Tom raised an eyebrow.

'Is that so?'

Selene nodded.

'Yes.'

Tom observed her.

'What did you see in the mirror?'

Selene looked up, startled.

'Oh, I haven't looked in it yet,' she said truthfully.

'Afraid to know our weakness, are we?' Tom drawled.

Selene shivered.

'I haven't found the right moment,' she admitted.

Tom cleared his throat and looked up at her. Selene looked into his face and realised that he had only grown handsomer since leaving school- his hair was longer, and face gaunter.

She looked away quickly.

'I wonder… what else have from your friends?'

'That your name is Lord Voldemort,' Selene said, hoping that he had indeed told his friends of this name.'

Tom raised an eyebrow.

'And what is your stance on blood purity?'

Selene so wished she could agree with Tom- that she agree with his idealogies and be accepted by him. But, just like her job at the auror's office, there was no way she could agree.'

'I am for purity, being a pureblood myself,' she murmured. 'I believe this business of accepting mudbloods into Hogwarts is horrendous.'

Tom's lips quirked into an approving smile.

'And what of your duelling skills.'

'I am one of the best,' Selene said confidently.

She saw him raising his wand, out of the corner of her eye, and in an instant, she deflected his curse. It rebounded, smashing one of the cabinets.

Tom looked at her, his eyes wide.

'Very good,' he murmured in approval. 'What is your name?'

'Chrysanthia Dellafort,' Selene said, thinking up the first name that came to her mind.

'Hmm,' Tom said, his eyes scrutinising her. 'Chrysantihia,' he continued. 'I would like to invite you to join my group. It is an elite group- we are called the 'Death Eaters'.'

Selene was suddenly struck by the realisation that leading such a double life was not at all what she had intended to do when she came to visit Tom.

'Oh, you are very kind and do me great honour, but I must decline this offer.'

Tom's features became ugly in an instant.

'Decline?' he whispered, approaching her menacingly. 'No one _declines_ an offer to work for Lord Voldemort!'

Selene suddenly realised that she might be in very real danger by remaining. Tom did not know who she was and, whatever little mercy he had spared her in the past, she was sure this would not extend to a complete stranger.

_Stupefy!_

She did it so quickly, that he did not have the chance to deflect it. He fell to the ground, and Selene bit her lip, feeling guilty.

'I'm so sorry, Tom,' she whispered, leaning down and kissing his forehead. 'I just wanted to say hello. You know I could never join your little purity club... and I don't think you'd want me, anyway.'

She sighed and stepped over him as she left the shop.

* * *

'Alphard, please! Open the door!'

There was no response, and Walburga and her mother exchanged exasperated glances.

'What to do?' Mrs Black sighed. 'He won't open the door.'

'We could use force,' Walburga muttered.

'Walburga, that is not at all becoming!' Mrs Black chastised.

Walburga poured out two cups of tea.

'Mother,' she hesitated, 'what actually happened to Ariadne? I don't believe a girl as healthy and happy as she- of her young age- could just without any known medical cause.'

Mrs Black looked at Walburga gravely.

'If I tell you, you are on no accounts to tell anyone else. The only people who know are myself, Alphard, and Ariadne's parents- your Aunt and Uncle.'

Walburga nodded.

'I promise, mother,' she said dutifully.

'It seems that Ariadne was seeing a muggle boy,' Mrs Black said grimly.

Walburga gasped.

'No! But she was so clever, and sweet and…'

'Foolish. To tell you the truth, I am glad such filth is not to continue our bloodline.'

Walburga nodded emphatically.

'Alas, the foolish girl was having an affair with a muggle boy. From his accounts, he tricked her by sending her a letter asking to meet and 'discuss' what had happened between them, because he could not understand why she had ended it with him.'

'Oh, so she ended it?' Walburga said.

'Yes,' Mrs Black said. 'Her sole redeeming factor in this family. Apparently she did indeed love our Alphard, and wanted to rid herself of the muggle fool.'

'So what happened?'

'The silly girl met the muggle boy.'

Walburga paled.

'Mother?'

Mrs Black dabbed at her eyes.

'Oh, it's so terrible. He… he asked her to go for a walk with him and then- right in front of a playground full of children- he stabbed her. They say it was in his jealous rage. By the time Healers had arrived, she was cold.'

'That muggle deceiver!' Walburga seethed. 'He should be killed!'

'Oh, worry not about that. Your uncle has already seen to that,' Mrs Black said grimly.

Walburga wiped her eyes quickly.

'The poor, foolish girl. Never trust a muggle.'

Mrs Black patted Walburga's hand.

'At least I know I did thorough job in raising you, my child,' she said wearily. 'As for poor Ariadne, nothing can save her from muggles now. She learnt her lesson far too late.'

* * *

**Happy New Year! See, I told you I would update before New Year's Eve.**

**Next chapter-**

'He hesitated before knocking on her door, but then realised that he was leaving. After her death-scare, he felt that he had to see her just the once before leaving for Albania.'

**So another year is gone. How about we give this year a huge send off with many, many reviews?**

**Love, Anya**


	30. Chapter 30: Habit and Desire

'_**He from the happy knowledge of the wise**_

_**Draws virtue to reprove secured fools**_

_**And shuns the glad sleights of ensnaring vice**_

_**To spend his spring of days in sacred schools.' **_

_**- **__'_A Funeral Elegy', **W. Shakespeare**

* * *

**Habit and Desire**

Everything was wrong. Ariadne was dead, Uncle Regulus was missing…

Alphard's life, in the span of two short days, had been turned upside down. What was worse was that he had no one to help him through it.

Now he wanted Sean, who always listened. He thought about sending Ryan or Keith a note, but he hadn't contacted them since they finished school and knew it wasn't right to have a reunion where he was depressed and aloof.

And most of all, after all this, he wanted Selene. He wanted her to make sense of what had happened between them.

But it wasn't just that- he wanted her warmth. It wasn't anything sexual, because he had tried revisiting the whorehouse and merely felt colder, and more empty afterwards.

It was just to be held, and to be told that everything would be okay.

And, after waking up on a random park bench yet again, Alphard decided that enough was enough.

* * *

'Oh, lookee here,' Sean drawled, waltzing into Selene's office. 'You'll never guess who just sent me a letter asking to meet for lunch.'

Selene ignored him and continued to type out the letters on the typewriter.

'Alphard has written asking that I see him for lunch today. He says he needs to see me.'

Selene stiffened a little, but continued to type nonetheless.

'Have fun,' she said sweetly. 'You won't be missed from the building, I assure you.'

Sean smiled smugly and sat in the chair opposite her desk.

'Would you like me to pass on a message?'

Selene glanced at Sean.

'I don't think it would be appropriate,' she said coldly. 'His fiancée has just died.

'Yes, well… a tragedy, of course,' Sean said flippantly.

Selene glared at Sean.

'Do you realise, Sean, that you always _hurt _Alphard with that attitude of yours? He's obviously hurting about his fiancé- being a gleeful prat is not going you make him feel better.'

Sean rolled his eyes.

'Please. He's been my friend for so many years. I _think_ I know how to listen to him and make him feel better.'

'It's a pity that the way you'd like to make him feel better won't work on him,' Selene muttered under her breath.

Sean froze.

'Wh…what?' he whispered, paling.

Selene smiled acidly.

'Oh, don't think I haven't picked up on your little secret,' she sniped.

Sean stared at her, nonplussed.

'You… you… you _know_?' he whispered, mortified.

'That you're gay?' Selene said casually. 'Yes. I've known since school. Which is why I never took your taunts too seriously. Though, as an oppressed minority, I would think you'd empathise a bit more with my position as a female in this office.'

Sean stared at Selene, fear in his eyes.

'You've known for _that_ long?' he whispered hoarsely. 'How?'

'I only figured it out after you kept hating me for going out with your best friend. Then I caught you continuously looking at him in a lovesick way and it all made sense to me. Normal guys don't care so much that their mate has a girl.'

Sean blinked.

'Have you… told anyone?'

'No, of course not. It'd ruin your life if I did,' Selene said practically, filing away the files on her desk.

Sean stood up and went up to her.

'You… you would do that. For me?'

'Not for you, but I've kept far worse secrets for others so I suppose I'm just a fool who gets mistreated, and yet still keeps her mouth shut.'

Sean looked to the ground, abashed.

'I've only been so rude to you here because everyone else is. If I was nice, I thought it might look suspicious. Otherwise, I would have just ignored you. Actually, I don't even hate you- now that you're not with Alphard, that is.'

Selene pursed her lips.

'And what if you tried setting an example to them of how to treat a lady properly?' she said coldly. 'It's got nothing to do with sexuality- Alphard would never be so rude to a girl.'

Sean bowed his head.

'I know, I know,' he admitted.

'And they wouldn't think you were gay,' Selene added. 'They'd think you fancy me.'

Sean's eyes lit up at this, and Selene shook her head.

'No,' she said, 'I am not going to pretend that I'm your girlfriend. You've done nothing to ever deserve me doing something so big for you.'

Sean sighed.

'Fine. But I think I like the thought of them thinking I fancy you. From now on, I'll act like a human towards you again.'

Selene looked at him expectantly.

'And… sorry, for being such a lousy git to you. You really never deserved it.'

Selene nodded her head primly.

'Then you are forgiven.'

She glanced at the clock.

'And I think you should leave,' she added. 'You don't want to keep Alphard waiting.'

Sean's eyes widened as he remembered his meeting.

'Oh, and Sean?'

He stopped at the door.

'Look after him, okay? I feel really bad for leaving him as I did- and he needs someone to be there for him.'

Sean gave a half smile and ran out of the office.

'Ah, well at least I have _one _friend at work now,' Selene sighed as she sunk back into her office chair and cast a distasteful glance at the files on her desk.

'Asteria! Where is my coffee!'

'Ah, and there's my lunch break over,' Selene sighed. 'Coming, sir,' she called.

* * *

Sean couldn't help liking Selene as he walked over to the tea house he was meant to be meeting. She was the only person whom he had ever told- or found out, in her case- of his sexuality, and didn't care. She didn't seem to hold it against him one bit, and he found that very strange, and endearing.

He decided that she was indeed very beautiful and that- dead ex-fiancée aside- she was certainly more than worthy of Alphard.

It certainly is ironic how quickly one's opinion of someone can change by the smallest gesture.

He twisted his kerchief nervously as he walked to the table where Alphard was sitting. He started in shock as he saw his friend. He no longer looked radiant in his handsome confidence, but was hunched over, gaunt, and looked very insecure.

He stumbled as he stood up and shook Sean's hand.

'Sean,' he said raspily. 'You… you came.'

'Of course I did,' Sean said seriously, helping Alphard back into his seat. 'You're my best friend, despite the fact that you're a judgemental bastard.

'I'm sorry,' Alphard mumbled.

'It's in the past,' Sean said. 'Here, have a cig. You look like you could use one.'

Alphard took one with a shaky hand, and Sean watched him closely.

'You haven't touched Vice, have you?'

Alphard chuckled shakily, and failed to open the lid of his shaker.

'Let's get out of here,' Sean said, patting Alphard on the shoulder. 'You need fresh air.'

Sean gave a tip to the maître d, and they walked out onto the street.

'Want to go to the park.'

Alphard shook his head miserably.

'Not that one. That's where…that's where…'

'Okay, sure. Shall I apparate us somewhere?'

Alphard nodded numbly, and Sean took his arm.

'Where are we?' Alphard mumbled.

'Beach. Thought the sea air would help freshen you up.'

Alphard stared dully out at the sea.

'She had eyes that colour.'

'Who?'

'Ada.'

'Hey, I heard. I'm sorry, Alphie.'

Alphard shrugged.

'Do you want to talk about it?'

Alphard shook his head.

'Are you going to start the Auror training this year? They keep asking where you are.'

Alphard shook his head again.

'Mid semester?'

Alphard shrugged, and rubbed his eyes.

'How much did you take?' Sean asked apprehensively.

Alphard lay back on the sand.

'I…don't know…' he whispered. 'They injected something into me, there was opium… I…don't … know…'

* * *

Alphard awoke to find he was in a foreign bed. It had strange scent… of rosemary and lavender. It was a familiar scent, and yet he couldn't quite place it.

His head felt heavy as he lay there, and he could hear the vague drones of two people who seemed to be arguing.

He squinted his eyes open to see a white ceiling, but then closed his eyes again. Slowly, though, his hearing began to achieve clarity.

'I can't believe you brought him to me. Of all people- me! He needed a hospital! What do I know on healing?'

'How the hell should I know? His family would kill him if this got out!'

'Well, you probably have achieved what they would have done by bringing him to me. Who knows if that adrenaline shot was right? Who knows if he's not about to die as we speak? He can't be here, I'm sorry. If you don't take him to the hospital, I will.'

'Look, Selene, don't be like that. You were the best in our year!'

'Yes, yes… at course work! Not at healing! I know _nothing_ on healing!'

Alphard opened his eyes and wondered if he was dreaming, for it was Selene's voice and scent which was surrounding him.

He tried to speak, but only rasping came out. The other two stopped arguing at once, and quickly sat by his bed.

'Alphie, can you hear me?'

He stared at her. She seemed different, but the same. Better, in fact- she seemed far more confident than she had been the last time he saw her.

Now she was more woman, than girl.

He tried to speak, and Selene checked his pulse.

'Just blink if you can understand me,' she said soothingly.

He blinked, and both Selene and Sean sighed.

'Okay, Alphie. Now, listen please- Sean here thinks you shouldn't go to a hospital, but I think you should. Which do you think? Look at either me or Sean for who you think is right.'

But he didn't want to stop looking at her. In the light she was in, she looked like an angel, coming to save him from his personal hell.

'Alphie, what will your family say?' Sean said firmly.

Alphard coughed, and Selene and Sean both helped to sit him up.

'No hospital,' he rasped.

'But….'

'No,' he said, gaining a bit more strength in his voice.

Selene looked down.

'Alphie, I really think it would be better if you…'

'Alphard,' he said.

Selene looked at him, and then looked away, looking hurt.

'Yes, of course. Alphard,' she continued, 'I strongly recommend we get a Healer at the very least.'

'They come here,' Alphard said. 'No hospital, no family.'

Sean nodded and gave Selene a card.

'He's my Healer- he's very good. Floo him and give him my name, he should come soon.'

'Is he one of your lovers?' Selene asked mildly.

Sean shrugged.

'Listen, Alphie, I'm really sorry but I have to go. My mum's in hospital herself and I promised I'd see her before her operation. Will you be okay?'

Alphard nodded, and Sean ignored Selene's horrified expression at being left alone with Alphard.

'See you at work, Selene.'

Selene glared after Sean as he disapparated. She then turned to Alphard and cleared her throat awkwardly.

'I'll just floo this healer…'

'I don't need one,' Alphard said. 'I'll be fine. I just need a bit more rest.'

'But you passed out!'

'I'll be fine,' he said firmly.

Selene bit her lip and sat on the edge of her bed.

'I'm sorry about your fiancée,' she said quietly.

'Are you, really?' he drawled sarcastically.

Selene looked up, hurt.

'Of course I am. At our age- to die- it's such a terrible thing. And the fact that you loved her and her death has made you so miserable has made it even worse.'

They sat in silence for a while.

'I don't think she was going to stay with me,' he said quietly. 'She was meeting him for something else. He was just too deranged with jealousy to see it. I caught her crying over him, the last time I saw her.'

'Him?'

'It was an arranged marriage- she was my cousin. She had a boyfriend- the same one who knifed her.'

Selene's eyes widened in shock.

'And I was supposed to have you,' Alphard said quietly, looking down.

Selene looked up suddenly, remorse etched in her features.

'Alphie, I was wrong leaving you as I did. I'm so sorry, you have to know I regret it now. I know it doesn't fix anything… but for all it's worth, I did mean it when I said I loved you.'

'Like fuck you did!' Alphard shouted, his eyes frenzied as he looked up at her. 'You don't just…' his chest began heaving, 'You don't just…leave… those…you…l…love'

He put his face in his hand and began breathing deeply.

'Everyone leaves me,' he whispered.

'Alphie…'

'Alphard,' he growled.

Selene moved closer to him, tentatively, and touched his shoulder.

'Alphard, I'm so sorry,' she whispered through her tears. 'I really am. You don't deserve this- none of this. You were only ever good to me, and I was so very wrong for what I did to you. I was too blinded by my own stupid desire to find out my heritage to realise that I was losing things far more important to me back home.'

Alphard did not shrug her hand off, and Selene rubbed his arm gently.

'But I'm more sorry about your cousin- or your fiancée. Did you love her?' she whispered.

He nodded, but then turned to face the wall.

'I did something terrible, though. I… my uncle…he…'

'What, Alphie?'

'Alphard.'

'Sorry,' Selene whispered. 'What did you do?'

'I wasn't faithful,' he whispered. 'At the very end, I wasn't. I faltered.'

Selene felt disappointed at this.

'Why?' she asked.

'Because… my uncle told me I should call off the wedding.'

'To his daughter?' Selene asked, perplexed.

'No, my other uncle. He said I was too young to settle and then took me to, took me…'

'It doesn't matter, Alphie,' Selene said soothingly. 'It's all past now.'

'Alphard.'

'Sorry,' she said, her cheeks burning. 'But, Alphard, you have to realise that you can't bring back the dead- no matter how much you wish you can. If I could, believe me I would have a family, but it's not possible. That's what makes life so beautiful, and terrible- the fact that life is so transitory. We simply have to make do with what we have. Yes, you loved your fiancée, but you can't do anything to bring her back. The only thing you can do is love her memory.'

'But that's just it!' Alphard exclaimed. 'I don't know _what_ to think of her memory! It's like you- I tried hating you, but you left with such an ambigious note that I didn't know what to think! It's the same with her- she said she loved me, but was then going off to meet her ex? What am I supposed to make of that? It's all so confusing and… why can't you women just say things plainly?'

Selene bowed her head and said nothing.

'I hated that you left me the way you did,' Alphard said quietly.

'I don't blame you. I'm a terrible person for what I did to you.'

'I didn't say I hated you,' Alphard interrupted. 'I said I hated what you did.'

Selene looked up at Alphard and, at that moment, he looked so lost and confused that she couldn't help hugging him tightly.

'I'm so sorry, Alphard,' she whispered. 'I'm so sorry- for everything I've done, and that's happened to you.'

Alphard hugged her back tightly, inhaling her hair which was filled so strongly of her scent.

'Alphie.'

--

Somehow, they had fallen asleep. Selene rubbed her eyes when she realised she had dozed off and turned to see Alphard sleeping next to her. She reached out and touched his face gently, tracing his cheekbones, the bridge of his nose, his lips…

Even in his sadness, and his self-abuse, he was incredibly handsome. Of course, she preferred it when his eyes were open, because then she could stare into their unusual grey depths.

She kissed his forehead and got out of bed slowly and went to the kitchen and started cooking. It was strange, knowing that he was sleeping in her bed, but it also made her heart beat hopefully. Even though she hated the consequences he was there, she wanted it to last as long as it could.

She didn't want him to leave.

As she was cutting up a salad, she heard him getting up.

'Selene?' he called.

'In here,' she called out.

He stood in the doorway and watched her uncertainly.

'Are you hungry? I've just cooked dinner,' she said.

Alphard said nothing, and Selene chewed her lip.

'I think you should eat something. You've come off a…'

Alphard went over to the table and sat down.

'I'm famished,' he said with a tiny smile. 'What's for dinner?'

Selene smiled hesitantly and put a roast chicken, with potatoes on the table.

'Smells good,' Alphard said, looking at it impatiently. 'Can I start carving?'

'Please,' Selene said, putting two plates on the table.

She smiled a little at how quickly Alphard seemed to work on the chicken, and then how quickly he ate.

'Careful,' she said, her lips twitching. 'You'll choke.'

'Too hmfhungry,' he said through his food.

Selene laughed and poured out water, which he downed quickly.

'Wow, you really were very hungry,' she commented.

Alphard eventually sat back and clutched at his stomach.

'Too full,' he sighed. 'Great bird.'

'Thank you,' Selene blushed, sipping a little from her wine.

They sat back and looked at each other. Alphard smiled a little.

'You know, if I knew food would make me feel so much better, I would have just eaten non stop.'

Selene gave a half smile.

'Possibly. But when you're really hurting, it's hard to eat. I guess it's more the fact that you're coming off your drug high.'

Alphard looked down at his plate, but then they both looked to the clock as it chimed twelve.

'I should… go,' Alphard said reluctantly. 'I should leave you know.'

Selene's shoulders slumped.

'Oh right… yeah, sure.'

Alphard hesitated.

'I… I think it's for the best,' he said. 'I need to think things through.'

Selene nodded and walked him to the front door.

'Well… thanks for taking care of me. And nice to see you again,' he said awkwardly.

'Yeah, you too. Hopefully next time I see you you'll be a bit healthier,' Selene said with a small smile.

Alphard kissed her cheek hesitantly and left. Selene closed the door behind him and rested her forehead against the door. Sighing, she went back to the kitchen and manually scrubbed the dishes.

She looked up, suddenly, as the doorbell rang again, and ran to open the door.

* * *

Tom range the tinkling doorbell and smiled sardonically as he heard Hepzibah crying-

'Quick, quick, he's here, Hookey!'

He followed Hokey into the sitting room which was so crammed with objects it was difficult for him to get across to his armchair without knocking anything over.

Hepzibah offered her hand to Tom, who took it and brushed his lips over it.

'I brought you flowers,' he said quietly, quickly conjuring a pair of roses behind his back and handing them to her.

Hepzibah's eyes widened.

'You naught boy, you shouldn't have!' she squealed, putting them in the vase that was standing ready on the nearest little table. 'You do spoil this old lady, Tom… sit down, sit down… where's Hokey… ah…'

The house-elf had come dashing back into the room carrying a tray of little cakes, which she set at her mistress's elbow.

'Help yourself, Tom,' said Hepzibah, 'I know how you love my cakes. Now, how are you? You look pale. They overwork you at the shop, I've said it a hundred times…'

Tom smiled mechanically and Hepzibah simpered.

'Well, what's your excuse for visiting this time?' she asked, batting her lashes.

'Mr Burke would like to make an improved offer for the goblin-made armour,' said Tom. 'Five hundred Galleons, he feels it is more than fair—'

'Now, now, not so fast, or I'll think you're only here for my trinkets!' pouted Hepzibah.

'I am ordered here because of them,' Tom said quietly. 'I am only a poor assistant, madam, who must do as he is told. Mr Burke wishes me to enquire—'

'Oh, Mr Burke, phooey!' said Hepzibah, waving a little hand. 'I've something to show you that I've never shown Mr Burke! Can you keep a secret, Tom? Will you promise you won't tell Mr Burke I've got it? He'd never let me rest if he knew Id shown it to you, and I'm not selling, not to Burke, not to anyone! But you, Tom, you'll appreciate it for its history, not how many Galleons you can get for it…'

'I'd be glad to see anything Miss Hepxibah shows me,' Tom said quietly, feeling his stomach muscles clenching in anticipation.

'I had Hokey bring it out for me… Hokey, where are you? I want to show Mr Riddle our _finest_ treasure… in fact, bring both, while you're at it…'

'Here, madam,' squeaked the house-elf.

Tom looked up to see two leather boxes moving across the room.

'Now,' said Hepzibah happily, taking the boxes from the elf, laying them in her lap and preparing to open the topmost one, 'I think you'll like this, Tom… oh, if my family knew I was showing you… they can't wait to get their hands on this!'

She opened the lid, and ˇom edged forwards to see what looked like a small golden cup with two finely wrought handles.

'I wonder whether you know what it is, Tom? Pick it up, have a good look!' whispered Hepzibah.

Tom stretched out a hand and lifted the cup by one handle out of its snug silken wrappings. He felt an intense desire to own the cup- to steal, whatever he needed to do to have it.

'A badger,' he murmured, examining the engravings upon the cup. 'Then this was…'

'Helga Hufflepuff's, as you very well know, you clever boy!' said Hepzibah, leaning forward with a loud creaking of corsets. She extended a hand and pinched his hollow cheek, to Tom's annoyance. 'Didn't I tell you I was distantly descended? This has been handed down in the family for years and years. Lovely, isn't it? And all sorts of powers it's supposed to possess, too, but I haven't tested them thoroughly, I just keep it nice and safe in here…'

She hooked the cup back off Tom's long forefingers and restored it gently to its box, intent upon settling it carefully back into position.

Tom felt anger boiling up in him as she took it away. He had to have it.

'Now then,' said Hepzibah happily, 'where's Hokey? Oh yes, there you are—take that away now, Hokey—'

The elf obediently took the boxed cup, and Hepzibah turned her attention to the much flatter box in her lap.

'I think you'll like this even more, Tom,' she whispered. 'Lean in a little, dear boy, so you can see… of course, Burke knows I've got this one, I bought it from him, and I daresay he'd love to get it back when I'm gone…'

She slid back the fine, filigree clasp and flipped open the box. There, upon the smooth crimson velvet lay a heavy golden locket.

Tom's breath caught when he saw it and, without invitation this time, and held it up to the light, staring at it.

'Slytherin's mark,' he said quietly, as the light played upon an ornate, serpentine S.

'That's right!' said Hepzibah, delighted. 'I had to pay an arm and a leg for it, but I couldn't let it pass, not a real treasure like that, had to have it for my collection. Burke bought it, apparently, from a ragged-looking woman who seemed to have stolen it, but had no idea of its true value—'

Tom felt rage boiling up in him at these words, and his knuckles whitened on the locket's chain.

'—I daresay Burke paid her a pittance, but there you are… pretty, isn't it? And again, all kinds of powers attributed to it, though I just keep it nice and safe…'

She reached out to take the locket back. It took all of all of his strength to let it slide through his fingers. He felt rage boiling through him as he saw it back on the velvet cushion.

'So there you are, Tom, dear, and I hope you enjoyed that!'

She gave a small gasp, and then leaned forward.

'Are you alright, dear?'

'Oh yes,' said Tom quietly. 'Yes, I'm very well…'

'I thought- but a trick of the light, I suppose—' she said, looking unnerved. 'Here, Hookey, take these away and lock them up again… the usual enchantments….'

She then stood up and cleared her throat uncomfortably.

'I don't mean to be rude, Tom, but I've got a tea party to attend to.'

Tom cleared his throat, his eyes calculating.

'Naturally,' naturally,' he said, standing up and kissing her hand again. 'And what shall I say to Mr Burke about the armour?'

'Oh… tell him I'll do it for five hundred,' Hepzibah said, sounding flustered and walking Tom out.

Tom flashed her a polite smile, and she seemed to calm down just a little.

'Good evening, Tom,' she said, holding out her hand.

He pressed it to kiss lips.

'Good evening, Hepzibah,' he said with a small smile.

--

For the next two days he was possessed. He had to find a way to get those trinkets, and knew the only way to do so was by killing Hepzibah. The problem was to find a way of killing her so as to avoid all the suspicion falling on him…

He slid into the house and went to the kitchen, where he saw Hookey milling around the kitchen. In a flick of his wand, Hookey was under his control.

Hookey tipped the poison into Hepzibah's tea and carried it dutifully, in her stupour to her mistress.

He watched on by the door as Hepzibah drained her tea cup. Within a few minutes, she was slumped on her ground, dead.

He then looked to Hookey, who came back to him in a daze.

'The most precious items,' he ordered. 'Both of them.'

--

The goblet in his trunk, and locket around his neck, Tom quickly cleared his room of his works and plans. He had to leave the country, and Albania seemed the best place to start. After all, that was where Rowena Ravenclaw's diadem had last been rumoured, and there were a few very powerful books on the Dark Arts that he knew were in existence there.

Just as he was about to leave his room, he saw that he had forgotten something in the corner, by his bed. He went over and saw that it was just a newspaper, opened at the obituaries where there was one on Black's fiancée.

He suddenly thought of Selene and realised that he was to be gone for a very long time from England. He locked his room once more, and apparated to Selene's apartment building.

As he looked at her door, he hesitated before knocking on it. But then he realised that he was leaving. After her death-scare, he felt that he had to see her just the once before leaving for Albania.

He drew in a nervous breath and exhaled slowly, closing his eyes. He then opened them, lifted his hand, and rapped smartly on her apartment door.

**

* * *

  
**

**What will happen, I wonder?**

**Next chapter-**

'_I've wanted to do this for so long'_ – Selene to ?

**To find out what happens next, it's really very simple. Just press the button below, and leave me a review! I think it would be grand if we started the new year with everyone reviewing!**

**Much love,**

**Anya**

**p.s- Tiny disclaimer: Most of the Tom/Hepzibah scene came from Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, by J.K. Rowling**


	31. Chapter 31: Love's Transgression

"_**If I profane with my unworthiest hand**_

_**This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:**_

_**My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand**_

_**To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."**_

**Romeo & Juliet**** by W. Shakespeare

* * *

**

**Love's Transgression**

Florean arrived home late from his shift in Le Brasserie to find Malkin sitting at their dinner table, a letter flat on the ground in front of her.

'Hi honey,' he said, walking in the room slowly.

Malkin smiled tentatively.

'Hi,' she said quietly.

'What's that letter?' he asked nodding at it as he came over to Malkin and pecked her on the lips. Malkin pulled him closer to her and kissed him again.

Florean blinked dazedly.

'Well, that's what I call a welcome home,' he said, kissing her again and sitting opposite her at the table.

'Florean, honey, I've got something to tell you,' she said quietly. 'You know how I had my fashion show for my course last week?'

'Of course,' Florean smiled. "it was brilliant. Definitely the best of all your classmates.'

Malkin nodded.

'Yes, well… they had a guest designer from Paris. From Artemis.'

'Wow,' Florean said, his eyes widening. 'Isn't that one of the best wizarding labels?'

Malkin nodded.

'Yes. And they were very impressed with my pieces. So much so, that they've offered me a job as a junior designer in Paris.'

Florean's eyes widened.

'That's brilliant!" he laughed kissing Malkin.

Malkin grimaced and Florean frowned.

'But why aren't you happy?'

'Well, Florean, they need me to start next week. That's when they're starting designs for their new season.'

Florean blinked.

'Oh. Right.'

Malkin bit her lip.

'But you still have two months left of your cooking course,' Malkin continued quietly. 'Which means that I either leave, and we're separated for two months… or I don't go.'

Malkin paused.

'And, even so, after your cooking course is finished, what will you do in Paris?'

Florean shrugged.

'Oh, I don't know. It's only one of the cooking capitals in the world. I'm sure there will be somewhere where I can find a job as a chef.'

Malkin bowed her head.

'But two months of separation?' she said sadly. 'Is it worth it?'

Florean smiled and kissed Malkin.

'It will be hard, but I know you've wanted this all your life. We'll make it work,' he said confidently. 'I love you, and I want you to be happy. Maybe we'll be able to visit each other whenever we're free.'

Malkin blinked back tears, and kissed him sweetly.

'You,' she said in between kisses, 'Are so wonderful.'

Florean smiled at her and brushed away her tears.

'I'm curious,' he said with a small smile. 'What did you expect me to say?'

Malkin looked down at her hands which were intertwined with Florean's, and kissed his hand.

'Did you think I'd forbid you to go?' he said ironically. Twirling a tendril of her hair.

Malkin smiled guiltily and kissed him sweetly.

'I love you,' she whispered, kissing him again as he lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom.

* * *

Selene paused before opening the door, and quickly combed smoothed her hair down with her hands. With a deep breath, she opened the door.

She suddenly became very still as the colour drained from her face. It seemed too torturous and too good to be true that she should see both Tom and Alphard in the same day.

'Hello Selene,' he said quietly.

Selene blinked and moved so that he could come into the flat. She shut the door behind her gingerly.

'How… how did you get my address?' she asked.

'Malkin. It's a long story.'

Selene nodded slowly and took a step closer to Tom, looking up into his face searchingly.

'You look different,' she whispered, reaching up a hand and touching his hair. 'You've got longer hair these days.'

Tom closed his eyes as she touched his cheek, and let out a faint sigh.

'Where have you been, Tom?' she whispered.

Tom opened his eyes and saw her hazel eyes watching him and he was struck by how melancholy her countenance was as opposed to her usually smiling self from school.

He bowed his head.

'I have to leave England,' he murmured.

'And you came to see me?'

He looked up at her, feeling his inner turmoil. Only she ever inspired such confusion and such an intensity of tension in him.

'I'm going for good,' he said quietly. 'For a very long time, at least.'

Selene watched him for a moment, and then turned around and sat on the couch.

'Tom, I haven't heard from you in so long. Forgive me, but I find it hard to believe that tonight is purely a social visit.'

Tom hesitated before going over to her couch and sitting next to her.

'I wasn't going to,' he said, staring into the fireplace. 'But when I thought you had died…'

Selene turned to look at him.

'What?' she said sharply.

'I thought that Black was engaged to you. That's how I found Malkin- because I went to her when I heard that Black's fiancée had died.'

'You thought I'd died?' Selene said quietly.

Tom nodded, and Selene shrugged.

'Did the news please you?'

Tom looked up at Selene, startled.

'Oh come on, Tom,' Selene said easily. 'You've put me under Cruciatus and more. You can't fool me into believing that you genuinely care for my well-being.'

Tom furrowed his brow.

'It… you couldn't just die like that, though,' he said slowly.

'What?' Selene breathed.

Tom looked up at Selene seriously.

'You couldn't die like that—randomly.'

'Tom,' Selene said flatly. 'This is how you greet me after all this time? You're telling me that I would have to die in a pre-meditated attack!'

Tom smiled.

'For a mudblood, you do take grimness quite well,' he mused, running a hand through his hair wearily. 'And I wasn't saying that you would have to die in cold-blooded murder. I was saying that your passing would be a bigger event than how Black's fiancée died. It would be a big deal.'

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

'What have you been doing to yourself, Tom?' Selene asked, leaning forward and brushing back his hair. 'You look exhausted.'

Tom closed his eyes and shook his head.

'I've told you many times. You never want to get involved with my activities.'

Selene's lips twitched as she recalled how he had unknowingly asked her to become a 'Death Eater'.

She looked down at her hands.

'You confuse me, Tom,' she frowned. 'Can you please just tell me why you came here?'

Tom looked up at her and tucked a tendril of her long dark hair behind her ear.

'I've had a very long day, and I'm leaving. I'm not quite sure why I'm here… but I figured that since I started my life in England with you, I had might as well spend my last night here with you as well.'

Selene's eyes widened in horror.

'Are you in trouble, Tom?' she gasped, taking him by the shoulders. 'You're not going to die or anything, are you?'

He chuckled.

'Don't be so melodramatic,' he said. 'I'm simply leaving the country.'

'Why?' Selene said suspiciously. 'What have you done?'

Tom smiled.

'At least you're still on the ball to know that I must have done something. Really, it's a pity you're a mudblood. You could have had so much potential as a pureblood.'

'When will you be back?' Selene asked, looking down.

'I don't know. As long as it takes.'

'As long as _what_, pray, takes?'

Tom shrugged non-tellingly and Selene put her face in her hands and groaned.

'What?' Tom said.

'I just realised how much I missed you,' Selene murmured from behind her hands. 'I knew there was something missing all this time, but I never knew what it was, exactly.'

Tom stared at her and felt an uncomfortable tightness in his chest as she looked up at him sadly.

He was struck by just how beautiful she really was. He always knew she was, but after being separated for so long, he really noticed it for the first time.

She moved towards him so that their faces were only an inch apart.

'Please don't leave, Tom,' she whispered. 'You can stay. Stay here forever. You don't need to leave. Please?'

He laughed softly and traced her cheekbone lightly.

'Selene, you have no idea who I am. What I've done.'

She looked up at him, and he looked away quickly. He found the pure honesty in her eyes too overwhelming.

She forced him to look at her.

'No, it doesn't matter,' she said seriously. 'Tom, you can start again- a clean slate. Everyone makes mistakes.'

'And what if I have no remorse for any of my actions?' he whispered against her lips.

Selene's eyelids fluttered close.

'You do,' she whispered.

He raised an eyebrow, and she swallowed thickly.

'You do, or else you wouldn't have come to see me tonight.'

'This has nothing to do with…'

Selene leaned forward and kissed him softly. She sighed against his lips.

'Forget it,' she murmured. 'Let's not discuss it—we'll never agree with each other. But I need you, Tom.'

Tom stared at her, and then pulled her to him forcefully as he kissed her again. He was tired of resisting her and knew that he could safely have her for one night…

Because, once in Albania, she would be too far from reach for him to think about her.

He slowly undid the zip of her dress as they lay back on the couch and ran his hand along the smooth skin of her back. She let out a slight gasp and pulled away from him.

He simply watched her as she swiftly lifted her dress over her head and tossed it to the side. She bit her lip uncertainly and he sat him and kissed her again, more urgently this time as he ran his hands over her naked body.

He felt her unbuttoning his shirt with nimble fingers and, in his urgency, he helped her as they both quickly shed his clothes.

He went to kiss her again, but she placed a hand on his chest and looked into his eyes, her own hazel ones wide with a mixture of uncertainty and fear.

'Tom,' she whispered. 'What are we doing?'

Tom sat up slowly, feeling his senses slowly coming to him as the full gravity of their actions began to makes sense.

'I don't know if I'll be able to wake up tomorrow to find you gone,' Selene said quietly. 'It was hard enough being separated after school—but even then, we always had our boundaries.'

Tom said nothing and Selene sat up and kissed his shoulder lingeringly.

'If we do this,' she whispered, looking up at him earnestly, 'I need to know that you won't just disappear. It'll hurt too much if you do.'

Tom looked away, but Selene turned his face to look at her.

'Tom?'

Tom rubbed his forehead frustratedly.

'Why does it matter? Why does everything have to _mean _something to you? Why can't this be something we do and never think about thereafter?' he said through gritted teeth.

Selene's shoulders slumped.

'Because, Tom,' she said, her voice wavering with hurt, 'You're not just 'anyone' to me. Despite everything, you are and always will be the most important person in my life. Anyone else- yes. I could just sleep with them and never think of it again. In fact, I've done that before and it's very easy.'

Tom looked up at her, his eyes wide with shock.

'But you,' she said seriously. 'It's different. It will affect me. And, no matter how much I might want to forget it afterwards—as will you, no doubt—it won't be that simple. Whenever I think of you, I'll remember doing this and then I'll become confused and…'

'I'm leaving,' Tom said brusquely, summoning his clothes to him and dressing hastily.

Selene blinked.

'What?' she breathed.

'If it's going to be as complicated as you're making it sound, then I don't want to hear it. I'm leaving tomorrow, and that's that. Nothing you or anyone else does or says can change that.'

Selene looked down at his shoe and picked it up and threw it at him.

'Get out, then!' she shouted, picking up his other shoe and throwing it at him.

'What!'

'Get out!' she screamed, summoning her vase and throwing it also at him.

Tom was so shocked by her sudden change in temper that he didn't even use magic to block the vase as it hit him.

It broke on him, and he shouted in pain as a shard cut his hand.

Suddenly, there was silence, and then Selene ran up to him.

'Did I hurt you?' she breathed, sounding pained.

'You cut my bloody hand!' Tom seethed.

Selene looked down at Tom's hand and lifted it up to her. It was bleeding a little and she looked up at him seriously as she brought the wound to her lips, his blood staining them red.

'There you go, Tom,' she said, giving him back his hand. 'I've got your blood in me now, too. '

Tom looked back to his hand to see that she had somehow healed his cut with her kiss. He looked into her eyes to find that they were hard.

Suddenly, he pulled her to him again and kissed her urgently.

'You know me,' he said. 'We'll never be. If we could be, you wouldn't want this as badly as you do.'

Selene groaned as he kissed her neck.

'I hate you, Tom Riddle,' she sighed.

He grinned sardonically and they kissed frantically, stumbling their way through the room to Selene's bed.

As they fell on the bed, Tom's eye was caught by the glint of the razor blade Selene had used earlier for Alphard, on the bedside table. He pulled away from Selene and picked it up, his eyes flashing.

Selene's eyes widened as she saw him picking up the blade.

'Tom, what…'

He brought it to the palm of his hand and pressed it against his skin, slicing through it. He closed his eyes as the numbing pain filled his senses.

'Only for you,' he said, taking her hand. 'You should be honoured.'

Selene watched him with a mixture of horror and curiosity as he cut her hand as well, and then pressed his bleeding palm against hers.

'You see,' he said to her. 'Now you're no longer a mudblood.'

Selene looked away, feeling the guilt of her secret weighing upon her.

'Is this how you repay Lord Voldemort?' Tom said, forcing Selene to look at him.

Selene pushed him to lie on the bed and climbed on top of him.

'You're Tom Riddle to me,' she said clearly. 'And always will be.'

She looked at her bleeding palm, and smeared the blood across Tom's chest.

'Now you have mudblood on your chest, Tom,' she said, raising an eyebrow.

Tom wrinkled his nose in disgust and Selene kissed him lingeringly.

'Ah, but you see, Tom,' she said, in between kisses. 'If I were a pureblood, you would have no interest in me. I would no longer be forbidden, and there would be no fun in that, now, would there?'

Tom went to say something, but Selene kissed him.

'You're right,' she nodded. 'We will never be. I was foolish, before, to ask any more of you.'

Tom sat up on his elbows and Selene watched him with calculating eyes.

'When you come back, will you be Tom Riddle, or Lord Voldemort?' she asked.

'Lord Voldemort.'

Selene nodded ruefully.

'In that case, I want to spend the night with Tom Riddle, before he dies.'

She kissed him and Tom initially felt an internal struggle. Her words had bothered him, because they had made him start to question the path he was taking.

But, as he felt her bare skin sliding against his own, he felt desire taking over.

Tom Riddle liked prizes, and Selene Asteria was one he had to claim before he left for good. He was certain that she would not be for taking when he returned.

In a sudden movement, he moved them so that he was on top of her as he kissed her forcefully, his hands sliding to her knees and bringing them up to his hips as he positioned himself.

For a split second, they looked at each other—fear present in both their eyes—as he slowly entered her.

Her head fell back on the pillow and she let out a sigh as she moved so that he could enter her more deeply.

It was such a strange sensation. He had never felt such intense pleasure as he moved through her.

Pleasure and pain.

She tugged at his hair and clawed at his back desperately as the pressure and heat between them began to build up. Eventually, she gasped and became very still as she held him in place, deep inside her.

As he felt her contracting around him, he shuddered violently as he felt a wave of pleasure flow through him with his release. He collapsed on top of her and they both lay there, spent and still inside each other, as they tried to regain their breaths.

Eventually, Tom pulled away from Selene and he could see the sadness in her eyes.

'Is this goodbye for real?' she asked, taking his hand where he had cut it and tracing her finger over the wound, magically healing it.

Tom nodded silently, and went to get out of the bed.

'Can you…'

Tom paused and looked at Selene chewed her lip hesitantly.

'Can you stay? Just for tonight, at least?'

Tom looked uncertain.

'Sleep here?' he said.

Selene nodded.

'Please?'

He looked at the bed. It seemed so warm and enticing—with the suggestion that they could perhaps repeat what they had just done…

And, as he thought of this and felt lust rising in him once again, he realised that if he didn't leave right away, he would never leave.

She would trap him, like Delilah did Samson, for good. And she could not be his Delilah. She could not be his downfall.

'I have to go,' he said dejectedly, dressing quickly.

Selene looked down, hurt.

'Okay then,' she whispered.

Tom brushed his clothes off and looked to see her avoiding his eyes. He tried not to notice, yet again, her seductive beauty with her long tousled hair, her red lips, and skin that was flushed from their exertions.

He faltered and went up to her and kissed her cheek softly. Her expression remained stony.

'Goodbye, Selene. Take care.'

He stood up and looked at her, expecting her to reply in some way. Instead, she merely continued to stare ahead of herself.

Sighing, Tom nodded ruefully and apparated back to his apartment.

--

As soon as Tom had disapparated, Selene closed her eyes and salty tears streaked down her pale cheeks.

She looked down at her sheets which were still damp and spotted with their blood, and stood up suddenly. She wanted to be anywhere but her bed and the memories it now held.

She went to her wand, as though in a grieved trance.

'Take me to Circe. I need to see her,' she whispered through her tears, clutching at her wand.

When nothing happened, she doubled over and let out a convulsive sob.

'Take me home!' she shouted, going to throw the wand across the room.

But, suddenly, she felt the familiar sucking sensation of apparition and her eyes widened as she saw that she was in a large, ancient temple.

* * *

**This chapter has been a long time coming. I hope it didn't disappoint the Selene/Tom fans out there! **

**And where has Selene been taken to now? **

'_You, as all my daughters before you, will suffer from love. You love two men. One you love too much, and the other not enough.' _ - ? to Selene

**Thank you so much to everyone for being understanding with my mini pause in writing this story. Thankfully, Stained Glass is now edited and that means it should be available in not too long! **

**So please review! Make me know that I'm still wanted. Also (as with all such 'important' chapters) I would dearly LOVE to hear what you thought of it.**

**Much love,**

**Anya**

**P.S. Happy Birthday to those (there are a few of you) who have had/have coming birthdays! I hope this chapter was a good present :)**

**Also, Selene is pronounced 'Seh- lean'**


	32. Chapter 32: Direst Cruelty

"_**The curtain'd sleep; witchcraft celebrates**_

_**Pale Hecate's offerings, and wither'd murder**__**"**_

- Macbeth, W. Shakespeare

* * *

**Direst Cruelty**

Selene rubbed her eyes as she looked around her surroundings. She was in a palatial temple, with an expansive marble floor and high ceilings.

She shivered and looked down at the wand in her hands, perplexed.

'How…'

'You have come, my child,' a gravelly voice resonated.

Selene gasped and looked up to see, at the opposite end of the room, a throne.

And, on that throne, sat none other than Circe. Selene knew who she was instantly- they had the same long, flowing hair, the same hazel eyes…

Except Circe's hair was fiery red and flowed all the way down her back.

'Come, child, I have been waiting for you,' Circe said.

Gripped with trepidation, Selene slowly made her way towards the throne.

'Sit,' Circe said, motioning a chair next to her.

Selene did as she was told. She could not drag her eyes off the woman who, genetically, was her mother.

'You seek me not because you need help, but because you are hurt,' Circe said, sounding exhausted as she looked into her crystal ball and picked up a green leaf and chewed on it.

Selene watched on in a mixture of horror and fascination as Circe closed her eyes and sunk back into her bejewelled throne.

'You, as all my daughters before you, will suffer from love. You love two men. One you love too much, and the other not enough.'

Selene's eyes widened.

'Whom should I choose?' she whispered.

Circe eyes fluttered in their trance.

'I cannot say. I know whom you will, ultimately choose.'

Selene held her breath, but then looked away.

'I don't want to know,' she said, standing up, her heart pounding in her chest.

Circe laughed throatily and Selene shivered. She had never seen a woman as mad as Circe was.

'Blood, blood, blood,' Circe whispered as she brought her glass of wine to her lips, but quickly put it back down on her ancient marble table. 'So much blood. So… tired,' she sighed.

Selene fidgeted nervously.

'I'd like to go home, please,' she said, feeling panic gripping her. The thought of knowing her future frightened her more than anything, and she instantly regretted seeking out Circe.

Circe slowly opened her eyes and laughed slowly as she reached out a heavily jewelled hand and stroked Selene's cheek.

'Goodbye, my child,' she whispered. 'Until next time.'

Selene gasped as she sat up from her bedroom floor. Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest, and she had beads of sweat trailing down her forehead.

She looked around and realised that she was still holding her wand—

Circe's wand. The only key for her to visit Circe.

* * *

'Selene. Wake up. Right now. I've got news!'

Selene groaned and turned over. She vaguely remembered that she had seen Circe, but now she wasn't sure if it had just been a strange nightmare.

'Merlin! Selene, what have you been doing? There's blood all over your sheets!'

Selene rubbed her eyes and slowly sat up. Her eyes widened as she saw her and Tom's blood spattered all over her sheets, and she was suddenly hit with the realisation that Tom was gone.

She gave a short, sharp gasp and clutched at her chest.

'Selene? What's going on?' Malkin said worriedly, sitting down next to Selene and taking her face in her hands.

'He's… gone…'

'Gone? Who's gone?' Malkin said sharply.

Selene got up from her bed and went to her wardrobe and started dressing.

'Never mind,' she said quietly.

'Can you please explain why you have a razor on your bedside table, and there's blood on your sheets? You haven't been hurting yourself, have you?'

'No,' Selene sighed, pulling her dress over her shoulders. 'Look, can we chat later. I've got to go for work.'

'It's Saturday.'

Selene's shoulders slumped, and she reluctantly turned to face Malkin.

'Oh no,' Malkin said. 'You're not going to fall apart again. Not now that I'm leaving…'

Selene looked up suddenly.

'You're leaving?'

Malkin nodded.

'Yes. I got offered a position at Artemis in Paris… and I'm going. On Monday.'

Selene stared at Malkin, feeling winded yet again. It was bad enough that Tom was lost forever—but to lose her best friend as well?

'Are you sure? Do you _have _to go?' Selene said, a little hysterically.

Malkin looked hurt.

'I thought you would have supported my career,' she said quietly.

'I didn't mean it like that!' protested Selene. 'I just… I don't want to lose my best friend!'

Malkin smiled sadly at Selene and hugged her tightly.

'You won't. I'll come home every month.'

Selene smiled at Malkin.

'I think I can cope with that,' she said going over to Malkin and hugging her. 'Take care, over there. Make sure you stay healthy.'

Malkin fell quiet.

'Florean's worried that I might fall back into old habits over there,' she confessed.

Selene nodded.

'Well just think of how much happier you've been now that you've beaten those old ways, and try staying strong. Nothing is worth you going back to that.'

Malkin looked apprehensive.

'And if you feel yourself starting to slip up,' Selene continued. 'Just come straight home- even if just for a few days.'

Malkin hugged Selene.

'I'll miss you.'

'Me too. You have no idea.'

Malkin nodded, and then cast an eye at Selene's bed apprehensively.

'What happened, Selene? What's going on with you?'

Selene walked slowly over to her bed and began stripping it of its sheets.

'I… nothing. Alphard was sick yesterday, Sean brought him over here, and I looked after him.'

'Alphard? Sean? Since when were you speaking to either?' Malkin said, looking perplexed.

'Well, Sean's an apprentice Auror, so he's around the office with me. He and eye have finally seen eye to eye with each other so we get along now.'

'Wow,'Malkin said, blinking. 'That's very surprising.'

Selene shrugged.

'Anyway. Alphard had a drug overdose and Sean brought him to me to avoid the scandal of taking him to hospital.'

'And the blood?'

Selene shifted uncomfortably.

'He was also pretty cut up.'

'But you've got a razor here.'

'It was his.'

Malkin's eyes widened.

'He's really in such a bad shape?'

Selene looked away, finding it hard to look Malkin in the eye when she was lying.

'Yes,' she nodded. 'He's found it really hard to deal with the death of his fiancée.'

Malkin looked sad.

'I really feel for him. Just the thought of losing Florean.'

She shuddered.

'I don't want to think about it,' she whispered.

Selene smiled.

'And you shouldn't.'

'How were you in all of this?' Malkin said curiously. 'You know, seeing him again.'

Selene sunk into a chair slowly. She was torn between her thoughts of Alphard, but mostly Tom. Each time she glanced at the bed, she remembered how he had touched her, how intense the heat had been between them, how much she wished that she could feel it all again…

'Selene?'

Selene looked up at Malkin sadly.

'I was okay. Obviously I felt guilty… and wished I hadn't been so silly last year.'

Malkin bit her lip.

'Do you think there's a chance you two might get together again, now that you've seen each other and he's- well- single?'

Selene shrugged hopelessly.

'I don't know. I feel so bad about what happened between us, and what happened to his fiancée that I don't want to initiate anything.'

'Malkin?'

They both looked up and saw Florean at the door.

'What happened to your sheets?' he frowned, looking at the bloodied sheets Selene was holding.

Selene sighed, exasperatedly.

'Never mind,' Malkin said quickly.

'Anyway, sorry to interrupt but we need to go to the bank,' Florean said to Malkin.

'Oh, right. Sorry, Selene, but I've got to go. I'll see you again tomorrow?'

'You better,' Selene smiled as she walked them to the door.

* * *

As soon as they left, Selene walked numbly to her bedroom and stared at the sheets. She knew that she should wash them and that it was foolish to be sentimental about something that was neither loving nor a happy event, but she couldn't bring herself to say the spell to clean them. She then knew that, as much as she wished otherwise, Circe was right- she _did_ love Tom too much.

Slowly, she knelt by them and traced the spattered blood, feeling her throat constricting painfully.

A tear dropped onto one of the bloodstains, and she could no longer maintain her composure. She brought the sheets up to her face and they muffled her loud, convulsive sobs as she curled up into a ball on the ground and hugged them to her.

* * *

Tom coughed as he entered the small, abandoned hut, and quickly lit up his wand. There were cobwebs everywhere and the entire room was blanketed in dust, but nothing a few cleaning spells couldn't fix.

As with his now abandoned flat in London, he set about cleaning up methodically. In less than five minutes, the place was spotless.

He sunk into the armchair by the now-roaring fire and winced as he noticed he had cut his hand.

He looked at the blood that was starting to well curiously, and let out a soft gasp as he remembered- painfully clearly- the night before.

It had been even better than she had it had in any of his dreams. She was so soft, so warm, so beautiful as he had watched her underneath him in silver moonlight as it streamed through her window.

He touched his lips as he remembered how she had kissed them and sighed.

It was a curious thing, because he had never felt any desire for any other- man nor woman. He had always considered it a complete waste of time, the result of a lack in discipline.

He opened his eyes suddenly and went over to his trunk where he had carefully packed the locket and the goblet.

He fingered the locket.

So that had been his mother's. His foolish mother's.

He clenched his fist angrily at the thought of her. She had loved that good-for-nothing muggle. Could she have been more stupid? More traitorous to their noble blood?

Without a second thought, he pointed his wand at the locket.

He was ready to create his next Horcrux. To go further than any other wizard had ever done before.

And he wouldn't just stop at one, that night—he was going to create two Horcruxes in one evening.

* * *

Selene sniffed and put the sheet at the bottom of her trunk. She could not destroy it, but she could look at it no longer either.

Everyone has a secret, and she now had yet another to add to the collection she had been steadily building up since she had finished at Hogwarts.

She sighed and decided that she needed to take a shower, despite her reluctance to wash their sweat off her body.

Just as she had undressed and was about to step into the shower, the doorbell rung. She froze.

Part of her desperately wanted it to be Tom, even though she knew nothing good could ever come of it. It was fanciful thinking, but she wished that she had been able to make him reconsider his decision.

Feeling miserable, because she knew that it would be Malkin, she wrapped a bathrobe around her and went to the door.

'Alphard!'

She couldn't have been more surprised. She had completely forgotten about him in her preoccupation with Tom.

'You seem surprised to see me,' he frowned. 'Am I interrupting you?'

He glanced at Selene's bathrobe and Selene blinked.

'I was just about to take a shower,' she muttered, blushing.

'Oh,' Alphard said, looking down and also blushing. 'I won't interrupt you, then. I just… well, I brought you flowers. To thank you, you know, for yesterday,' he mumbled awkwardly.

He held out the bunch of orange roses and Selene took them.

'You didn't have to,' she said quietly. 'But thankyou, they're beautiful.'

Alphard looked up at her and Selene felt her chest tightening as she saw how pained and melancholy his eyes were.

'You can come in, if you like,' she said. 'I just need a shower. I won't be long, and I don't really have anything to do afterwards.'

Alphard hesitated and Selene smiled and lead him inside.

'I don't know if I have a vase,' she chatted. 'I guess I can just enlarge a glass. Probably would look just as nice, anyway.'

She cut the stems and put the roses in the vase, which she then placed on the coffee table. Her eyes widened as she saw her bra from the night before and she quickly snatched it as Alphard came and sat on the couch.

'I don't want to impose…'

'It's nothing. Really, I'd like to have you. It gets a bit boring every night, with nothing to do. That's what I really miss about school- the fact that all you ever have to do is simply walk into a common room and you'll be sure to find someone you can talk to.'

She saw a pained look flashing across Alphard's face and she bit her lip.

'Just give me five minutes,' she said. 'You can amuse yourself with the numerous Witch Weekly magazines I've accumulated.'

'I have to say,' Alphard said. 'I never would have picked you for the type to read these kinds of magazines.'

'It's trashy, but sometimes one doesn't want to read anything serious,' Selene shrugged. 'Anyway, just give me a minute.'

Alphard nodded and Selene ran off to her bathroom.

She shut the door behind her and took in a deep breath before hurriedly getting into the shower. In her haste, she barely had time to worry about any sentiment involved in washing.

When she came out, Alphard was still sitting on the couch, but he wasn't reading any of the magazines. He merely sat, staring into her fire. He glanced up at her as she sat on the other end of the couch.

'Did you go home, yesterday?'

Alphard shook his head, and Selene sighed.

'Where did you go?'

'Sean's.'

Selene nodded.

'He told me,' Alphard said quietly. 'How you knew about him, and kept quiet. That was very good of you.'

Selene shrugged.

'I don't think it's right to begrudge a person for something they can't help. And it's not as if his preferring men affects me,' she said.

Selene quickly thought of her mother, Aliki, and how she had loved Grindelwald, and wondered how she would feel if she saw Tom with another man.

She knew she wouldn't like it.

'I can't believe I never knew!' Alphard sighed. 'He's been my best friend for all these years, and I never picked up on it!'

Selene smiled.

'Well, sometimes it's harder to notice such things in people who you know better.'

She thought it was true. For some reason, others such as Malkin were able to see Tom as being evil much more easily than Selene could accept this. Even though Selene was certain she knew more of Tom's 'evil' deeds than anyone else in the school did.

'I s'pose,' Alphard said resignedly. 'How come you're so forgiving of it?'

Selene smiled ruefully.

'Alphard, I'm an orphan. I've been raised as nothing, with no one. I'm hardly in a position to judge. Also, after working at the Auror's office, I hate how readily people are discriminated against for something as simple as their sex.'

Alphard remained silent.

'I mean, didn't I get the Dux of our year? Didn't I win the Duelling Tournament? Don't all these attributes show that I'm more than capable of holding down a job as an Auror? And yet I'm the bleeding secretary and get abused from the start till the end of the day because I'm a woman! As if that has _anything _to do with it!'

Alphard looked up at her.

'I'm sorry you didn't get in,' he said quietly.

Selene nodded, her nostrils flared.

'It's not your fault,' she shrugged. 'Ah, I'm sorry. I know you didn't come here to hear me whinge on feminism. Do you want to go somewhere?'

Alphard shook his hair.

'No,' he said. 'I don't much care for leaving the house these days. I'm always bound to run into someone who will want to offer me his or her condolences…'

He trailed off and ran a hand through his hair.

'Why would she have been meeting him?'

Selene sighed.

'Oh Alphard,' she said, patting his shoulder. 'I don't know. You can't keep wondering like this, though. It's not healthy, and you'll never know the answer.'

Alphard chewed his bottom lip.

'I just don't know what I'm supposed to feel!'

Selene smiled bitterly.

'I know the feeling,' she said quietly.

Alphard looked at her curiously, and Selene shrugged.

'Did you love her?'

Alphard hesitated, but then nodded.

'I think I did. As short-lived as it was, I did.'

'Then that's all you need to think of it,' she said simply. 'You can speculate all you like—perhaps she was going back to him, but perhaps she still cared for him and wanted to give him closure. You'll never find the truth. The best thing you can do is know that you loved her, and remember her as you knew her in life.'

Alphard looked at Selene, and he looked so pained at that moment that she couldn't help hugging him.

'Please don't be sad,' she whispered. 'You haven't deserved any of this. I'm so sorry.'

Alphard caught her wrists and brought her so that he was looking at her in the eye. Selene looked away and blinked away her tears.

'I feel so bad,' she whispered through her tears. 'If I had never left as I did, maybe you wouldn't have loved her… and then this wouldn't have happened to her or to you… and then…'

Alphard leant forward and kissed her, and Selene's eyes widened in shock. She quickly pushed him away.

'Alphie, I don't think that's a good idea,' she whispered with wide eyes. 'You're still hurt about Ariadne.'

Alphard looked away.

'I just want to stop feeling so alone,' he said in a strained voice. 'My family… are like living ice statues! Even at her funeral, it was so formal. No one seemed to care enough to shed a tear! What happens if _I _die? Will no one care about me either.'

'I would,' Selene whispered earnestly, taking his hand. 'I really would.'

They both jumped as there was a clap of thunder outside, and then stayed silent for a while as they listened to the rain. Selene glanced at the raindrops as they slid down the windowpane, and took a sharp intake of breath as she remembered sitting in the classroom with Tom, watching the rain.

'Shall I make a pot of tea?' Selene asked Alphard eventually.

He nodded, and she kissed his cheek before getting up and going to the kitchen.

* * *

Tom gasped as he lay on the floor. He barely had any energy to reach for his wand, let alone apparate, as he knew he must.

Yes, he was immortal threefold now, but if his body died, he was not yet sure how he would go about retrieving his soul from his three Horcruxes.

And he didn't want to die. He felt terror gripping him as he began to contemplate that, perhaps, he had been wrong. Perhaps none of the Horcruxes had worked…

He began choking on his own blood and weakly forced himself to turn on his side as he coughed out the blood, staining the tiled floor crimson.

With a rasping breath, he gripped his wand tightly.

'Slytherin, give me the power to do this,' he whispered muttering a prayer as he concentrated every last ounce of energy he had on apparating.

With a crack, he came to a painful crash on her kitchen floor, by her feet. He heard her gasping in shock as she saw him.

'Tom!' she whispered. 'What are you doing here? Merlin, Tom, you're bleeding! What have you done!'

'H…hel…'

He couldn't even muster the word that he despised so much in his weakness.

She hesitated.

'Give me a moment. Then I'll take you to St Mungo's.'

'No!' he rasped.

But she had already bounded out of the kitchen. He faintly heard her making up some lie to whatever company she held in the other room, and then footsteps towards the door. As soon as the door was shut, she was at his side in an instant.

'No lies, Tom,' she snapped. 'What have you done?'

'C..can't…'

'Tom, if you don't tell me, I _will _take you to St Mungo's whether you like it or not. Now, spit it out!'

But he couldn't trust her with his secret.

'You know, Tom,' she sighed. 'No matter how bad whatever you were doing is, you know I'll keep it a secret. If the Mungo's staff find out, though…'

'Horcrux,' he rasped. 'Horcrux. Two.'

He felt her becoming very still next to him.

'Horcruxes?' she whispered.

He coughed up more blood, and saw that it had spattered her dress.

'You have to kill someone for that, though,' she whispered.

And, despite the fact that he knew he was surely dying, he couldn't help but laughing aloud at this.

'You've killed two people?' she whispered.

'Three Horcruxes,' he rasped.

'Three people, then?' she continued, the horror evident in her voice.

'More. Including my vermin father and his parents.'

She said nothing and he continued to hack up more blood. He desperately wished that he had the energy to leave or- or to at least wipe her memory of what he had told her- but he had none.

'D..do something,' he gasped, feeling himself sliding into unconsciousness.

But she merely sat there, staring at him. He realised that she was perhaps not as unswervingly loyal to him as he had always assumed she would be.

Perhaps even her supposedly boundless forgiveness ha limits.

He raised a weak hand and grasped at her arm as he finally succumbed to nothingness.

--

When he awoke, he was in her bed. He noticed that he no longer tasted blood and he felt, once again, strong. When he turned, he saw that she was sitting by his bed, watching him apprehensively.

'You look hideous,' she stated. 'What have you done to your face?'

Tom blinked, surprised, and looked in the hand mirror she handed him to see that his cheeks were pitted and scarred, and his eyes were even redder than before.

He then sat up and watched her suspiciously.

'You never noticed after the first Horcrux,' he said slowly. 'Everyone else did, but you didn't. Now you see the changes. Why is that?'

'Because,' she spat, the chair scraping against the wooden floor as she stood up angrily, 'I now finally see you plainly. All these years, I've made excuses for you- you didn't have parents, you were misguided, you didn't have friends…'

She tugged at her dark hair.

'But, Tom,' she said angrily, 'I didn't have any of those things either. And yet I don't go _killing _people- nor do I attempt to split my soul into fragments.'

'You're weak, that's why,' he said snidely.

'Weak?' she exclaimed, letting out a bark of a laugh. 'Tom, you've always called me foolish, but you're by far the most foolish person I know. You're not even 21 and you've already split your soul into three! Don't you understand that Dark Magic is permanent? There is no going back from what you've done now.'

Tom crossed his arms.

'Little mudblood,' he seethed, 'of course I could never expect you to understand what I've achieved already. How I've already ventured further down the path of immortality than any other wizard.'

'For what, Tom?' Selene shrieked, going up to him and shaking him by the shoulders. 'For what? Why do you need to be immortal _threefold_? Why do you need to be immortal at all? What do you gain from causing terror in this world? You gain _nothing_, Tom. But of course you're too stubborn to fucking see that, aren't you?'

It happened very suddenly. He slapped her, the hit echoing in the silent room. Selene gasped and touched her cheek, her eyes wide.

'I don't know you,' she whispered, taking a step away from him. 'Get out of my house, and never contact me again.'

Tom stared at her. When he had created the first Horcrux, he felt unreasonable and unstable emotions overwhelming him. Irrational anger, and fear.

Now, at her insolent tone, he felt as though he had no control.

He snatched up his wand, which was on the bedside table, and pointed it to her throat.

'I could make you Horcrux number four,' he whispered icily, his eyes flashing red.

Selene lifted her head defiantly.

'If you do,' she said, 'You will have absolutely no one in this world. But then again,' she added, 'You've already lost me so I suppose it would make no difference.'

His grip on his wand tightened.

'You see, Tom,' she whispered, disgust evident in her tone, 'despite your irrational hatred of muggles and muggleborns, the only person who you had to turn to when you were dying just last night was a mudblood. The only person you've ever given your body to, is that same mudblood.'

Tom lowered his wand and turned his back to her, breathing heavily. He clasped his hands together in a bid to cease their violent tremor.

'So you want to kill all of us. You want to purge us of your world,' she continued venomously, 'and yet the only person in the world whom you've ever trusted, is a mudblood. Isn't that completely hypocritical, _Tom_? I wonder what your little Death Eater followers would thing of their _Lord_ if they knew just how deep he had been in mudblood filth?'

Tom suddenly turned around and pushed Selene violently back against the wall, causing her head to crack against it. She winced, but continued to glare at him coldly.

'I don't need you,' he whispered. 'I _used _you, because I knew you would do anything for me. I _could _have gone to a pureblood follower, but why show them weakness if I didn't have to?'

Selene said nothing, but continued to glare at him.

'And you knew when I killed Myrtle,' he spat, laughing at the shock on her features. 'I told you, and you said that you would never report me, because you cared too much to 'ruin my life'. You see, _Selene_, you have just as much blood on your hands. You _could _have stunned me- anything- and reported me, and yet you chose not to. You chose to let me get away with it, because you foolishly 'cared too much' about me.'

He let out a bark of a laugh as he saw her confusion.

'I put a memory charm on you as soon as you had turned your back to the school,' he continued. 'But don't pretend as though you're above all this, because time and time again you've let me get away with whatever I've done.'

Selene clenched her fists, and went to push Tom away, but he pushed her back against the wall.

'When I leave,' he whispered in her ear. 'Are you going to tell the authorities? Anyone?'

He turned to look in her eyes and Selene looked away.

He laughed at her.

'You see, my little mudblood, you are an accomplice in all these crimes whether you like it or not. For to know and do nothing, is almost just as bad as doing them. You could have stopped me at Myrtle, and yet you chose to pretend that I was someone else- someone who you thought that you could 'change'. Well, Selene, let me tell you- life is not one big romance novel. You could never change my mind. You've never had that kind of hold over me, and never will.'

'Stop,' Selene whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks. 'Why are you so horrible?'

He laughed coldly.

'This is me,' he said, opening his arms and laughing at her. 'Wake up, Selene!'

'No,' she said tearfully, shaking her head. 'You haven't been completely bad. What about those times when you came to me? When you sat with me in the classroom and told me to stay good? You must have regretted what you had done!'

And, as she said this, she was certain that he began to resemble the handsome boy she had seen the night before.

Tom scoffed.

'A momentary lapse in strength is all that ever was. Let me assure you that I don't regret my actions right now one bit.'

Selene shook her head.

'No, I don't believe you,' she whispered, walking closer to him. 'Last night… last night…'

He rolled his eyes.

'I left you, and split my soul twice. What more evidence do you need to show you that I will _never _change? And especially not thanks to you.'

Selene blinked as his appearance became, yet again, hideous, and put her face in her hands as she sat on the edge of her bed, breathing heavily.

'Please leave me, and never come back,' she said, muffled from behind her hands. 'I can never see you again, or unknowingly help you with any more of your wicked crimes. If you ever turn up on my doorstep or kitchen, dying, I will not help you. You have overstretched my kindness for far too long, and now my forgiveness has reached its final limit. As far as I'm concerned, you are a completes stranger to me now.'

Tom raised his wand, ready to wipe her memory, but then realised that- despite all her words- he knew she would tell no one.

'I was going to wipe your memory,' he said quietly, 'As I have done so many times.'

He paused.

'But I don't want to give you that kind of mercy anymore. I think it's time you grew up. I want you to be the first to _know_ exactly how much I have achieved already.'

He laughed mirthlessly.

'And I want you to know your part in all of this. I want you to live with your guilt forever, for I know you are not the snow white angel you seem to think you are.'

Selene looked up at him, her eyes lifeless.

'I'd rather you wiped my memory,' she whispered. 'Of any memory of you. I'd rather never know you ever existed.'

Tom smiled coldly and bent down to her level.

'Ah, but I am not so kind,' he whispered against her lips.

She winced at the contact and moved away immediately. He laughed softly.

'I want you to remember how desperate you were for me to remain with you last night- now that you shy away from my touch.'

Selene looked away and quickly wiped her tears.

'Goodbye, Selene. And welcome to the real world.'

And, with that, he apparated back to Albania, leaving Selene sitting on her bed- alone, and trembling.

* * *

**I know this chapter took me a short while to put out. Sorry to those who were yet again concerned for my welfare. We took an unexpected road trip to Canberra that involved 14 hours of driving (8 of which involved me at the wheel) in one day. I was quite exhausted, so naturally I needed yesterday to rest and recover. **

**So you all thought that the last chapter was the end of Tom? Ah, you were so very wrong. What it did signal, however, was the end of the innocence in Tom and Selene's relationship because, despite everything he had done, up until now, he had always been able to be somewhat innocent and 'normal' with Selene. I like to think that she brought him back to earth, in a way.**

**Oh, and I hope this chapter answered the long-awaited questions as to why Selene never saw the change in Tom's appearance after the first Horcrux. It's because she only ever tried to see good in him, and therefore couldn't see what something as evil as a Horcrux had done to his appearance. **

**Next chapter—**

'_Alphard, I would like to know if Selene has had any contact with Tom Riddle over the past few years. You mustn't tell her that I have asked you this. You must be extremely cautious in how you gauge this information from her, do you understand?' _– Dumbledore to Alphard.

**Hmm, what's Dumbledore up to? Enlisting Alphard against Selene?**

**Review, and I shall get the next chapter to you very quickly so you can find out. I promise!**

**Love, Anya**


	33. Chapter 33: I Fall Under This Plot

"_**And with those hands, that grasp'd the heaviest club,**_

_**Subdue my worthiest self. The witch shall die:**_

_**To the young Roman boy she hath sold me, and I fall**_

_**Under this plot; she dies for't. Eros, ho!"**_

**- ****Antony & Cleopatra****, W. Shakespeare**

**

* * *

**

**I Fall Under This Plot**

'Go away,' mumbled Selene as the doorbell rang yet again. 'I don't want to see you.'

She pulled the covers over her head and shut her eyes tightly.

Ring, ring, ring.

Exasperated, Selene flung the covers off her bed, and stormed through her apartment to her front door, muttering oaths under her breath along the way. She flung the door open, to see Alphard.

'Do you know what time it is?' she snapped.

Alphard frowned, and looked at his watch.

'I've got 1pm on my clock,' he said slowly.

Selene sighed and rubbed her eyes.

'Did I wake you?' he asked, blushing in embarrassment. 'I'm so sorry, I just thought…'

'It's not your fault. Normally I'm up early,' Selene said resignedly, letting him in the apartment. 'I just happened to have a visitor last night after you left.'

Alphard looked at Selene curiously, but she ignored him as she put a pot of water on the stove to boil.

'Did you manage to sort out your issues at work?' he asked quietly.

Selene looked up, feeling the heat creeping up her neck as she remembered her lie.

'I think it's sorted out very thoroughly,' she said through gritted teeth. 'We won't be bothered again.

She tensed as Alphard walked up to her.

'May I?'

'What…'

She froze as he put his hands on her shoulders, and began to squeeze them gently, loosening the tense knots from the night before.

'You look very uptight,' he commented.

Selene's eyes fluttered.

'You should relax a bit more.'

'Easier said,' she mumbled, taking a sharp intake of breath as he pressed on a sore pressure point.

'Is it sore there?'

She nodded and he began working on the area.

'You don't have to…'

She trailed off as she found herself relaxing more than she had relaxed for a very long time, and she came to realise that Alphard had always relaxed her, or calmed her down.

Now, as he was touching her, it was gentle- as though she was someone of worth. Tom, on the other hand, had slapped her.

Alphard had always simplified her life, whereas Tom had only ever caused her pain- culminating in the night before.

Slowly, she turned around and looked up at Alphard.

'Do you think I'm a bad person?' she whispered.

He shook his head emphatically.

'Of course not.'

'Even though I left you without saying goodbye?'

'It hurt,' he said, looking down, 'But you've more than redeemed yourself over these past few days.'

Selene bit her lip.

'I've regretted what I did for a very long time, now. Do you believe me?'

Alphard was silent and Selene looked up at him, her eyes desperate.

'Please believe me,' she whispered. 'I really do regret it so much.'

He swallowed thickly and nodded.

Selene took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

'Do you think there's ever a chance we could be as we were?' she asked quietly.

Alphard shook his head.

'I don't think it'll ever be the same. Too much has happened in our lives- separately and together- for us to be as we were back then.'

Selene nodded.

'But, I would love for us to try,' Alphard continued, his grey eyes earnest as they looked at her. 'I've missed you. Even with Ada, I missed you. I felt terrible for thinking of you when I was with her, but I couldn't help it.'

Selene looked up at him and cupped his cheek gently, tracing his cheekbone lightly with her thumb.

'You make me a better person,' she whispered. 'I've missed you so much too. Can we… can we have another shot?'

'I'd like that very much,' Alphard whispered.

Selene smiled slowly, feeling her hear lightening for the first time since she had been with Tom.

Slowly, Alphard leant forward and kissed her lips softly. Selene sighed against his lips and hugged him to her tightly, as she kissed him again.

Alphard pulled away, and took her hands in his own, and kissed them.

'You're shaking, Selene,' he whispered, kissing her forehead, and then the tip of her nose. 'What's wrong?'

Selene felt hot tears stinging her eyes, and she quickly sniffed and wiped her eyes.

Malkin was leaving, Tom was no longer the person she thought he was. She felt completely alone, and felt terrified at the thought of losing Alphard again, as well..

'I need you,' she whispered. 'I've needed you for so long.'

Alphard kissed her again, more urgently this time as he pressed into her against the kitchen sink. He drew in a jaded breath as she slowly trailed her fingers down his spine. They pulled away and looked into each other's eyes for a moment, before they made quick work of their shirts, tossing them aside as they kissed each other hungrily again and stumbled towards the bedroom.

Selene almost hesitated as they fell back on the bed. The same bed where, only two nights ago, she and Tom had been together.

But a part of her felt that, following what he had done to her the night before, she didn't want him to be the last person who had touched her. She felt as though she needed Alphard, and the security and stability that she knew he would offer her.

And, above all, the love that she knew he could give her.

She pulled him closer to her as they kissed, and fumbled with the belt of his pants. He helped her quickly, and then paused.

'Are you…'

'Yes,' she gasped, kissing him again.

They slowed down as he positioned himself. He went to say something, but Selene merely kissed him and helped guide him as he entered her. They both broke apart, panting, as they stared at each other.

'I've wanted this for so long,' he murmured, kissing her lips slowly as they began to move again.

Selene trailed kisses down his neck, more urgently as their rhythm began to build.

'I…'

But she didn't know what she wanted to say, and lay back on the pillow, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her back arched closer to him.

Suddenly, he gripped her arms very tightly and buried his face in the crook of her neck as he shuddered violently, and then became very still. Selene felt disappointed, wishing that they could have continued for just that extra minute she knew she needed, but said nothing as he shifted to lie next to her, the both of them panting.

'Sorry,' he gasped. 'I don't know…'

Selene silenced him by kissing him sweetly.

'I love you,' she said seriously, looking into his eyes. 'I think I did when we were together, back then, but I know I was still uncertain of it.'

'And now you're certain?' Alphard asked, stroking her cheek lightly.

Selene smiled and kissed him again.

'Yes, I am. I really am. You have no idea how happy I am that you came to visit me today. I really needed you- this- us.'

Alphard stared at her, his eyes tight.

'It's okay,' Selene said lightly. 'I know you're still getting over…'

'I never got over you,' Alphard interrupted. 'I was so confused when you left- I was so excited to leave for Greece together. To finally take that step forward in our relationship. Before then, I had always felt as though you were holding yourself back from committing to us.'

'I was,' Selene admitted. 'I was scared.'

Alphard fell silent.

'And now?'

She kissed him lingeringly.

'I'm yours. Only yours,' she said determinedly, clenching her fist as she remembered Tom, causing her to become annoyed with him instantly.

Alphard smiled weakly.

'Please be careful with my heart,' he whispered, kissing her lips softly. 'I don't think it can take another break.'

Selene hugged him tightly and nestled her head against his chest, feeling content in the security and strength his arms offered her- again, so completely different from Tom.

'You too,' she murmured, kissing his chest as she closed her eyes.

* * *

Tom woke up suddenly, gasping for air. Ever since he had created the two Horcruxes, he had been unable to sleep. And, when he did, they would be horrific nightmares filled with blood and screams.

He got out of bed quickly and splashed icy cold water on his face. He smiled grimly as he saw his marred reflection. In a way, he preferred it as it was now—it fitted his personality better.

Before, it was deceptive. Yes, it was easier to seduce and charm others with his good looks, but he felt it was distracting.

He walked outside of his hut and looked up at the black sky. It was freezing outside, but he liked the cold. It numbed his body, which he barely felt a part of anymore.

A raven crowed and he jumped and ran inside the house again, breathing heavily.

The raven was the only creature he feared- the bird of death.

He knew his fear was irrational- that he was immortal and that nothing could kill him anymore- but he couldn't shake his paranoia. Especially now that Selene knew about his Horcruxes.

His eyes widened as the fact fully registered in his mind and he quickly searched for his wand. He felt as though had to find her and erase her memory- that he had been foolish for thinking that he would gain more from her suffering than she could by knowing his secret.

In an instant, he apparated back to her apartment, which was becoming more familiar to him than he liked to admit. He walked through the living room, but she was not there. Then, he heard two voices, coming from her bedroom. Slowly, he walked over to where the door was slightly ajar and saw her lying on her bed, with someone else's arms around her.

He felt something boiling inside of him as he watched as the man's arms traced slowly up and down her back.

Who was that foolish man, who thought he could touch Selene? Yes, she was a mudblood, and yes, he despised her, but she was his possession.

He brought out his wand and narrowed his eyes as he tried to aim for the man's arm, but then suddenly the man's withdrew his arms from around her, and all he could aim for was Selene's back.

His hands shook. He wanted to kill her too. He had expected her to suffer more following their actions of the week before, not to be sighing contentedly in the arms of another man already!

His face set grimly, he walked slowly over to her kitchen table, and placed the tips of his long fingers together.

He would wait.

* * *

Selene smiled happily as she saw Alphard off. They had been together for a week now, and Tom already seemed to be a distant memory to her.

Every evening, she would come home from a horrible day at work only to have him turn her day into a happy one with his presence.

They never went anywhere together, but she was happy to stay in with him. On most days she was too exhausted to go anywhere, anyway.

But, deep down, she knew the real reason for why he never took her anywhere. It was because he knew that if his family found out about her, he would surely be cut off his inheritance and funds.

Smiling, she went into her kitchen.

'Hello Selene.'

She screamed and spun around to see him sitting at her table.

'You!' she gasped, her face becoming ghostly white. 'What are you doing here?'

'I see you've had no problems with finding another bedfellow,' Tom said coldly.

Selene whipped out her wand, anger etched in her features.

'I told you to leave and never come back,' she said angrily. 'If you don't leave, I'll make you.'

Tom let out a drawling laugh.

'I don't think you'd ever be able to make me do _anything_,' he said lazily. 'Especially not in the haze of your post-coital state.'

Selene's eyes flashed angrily and sent a curse at Tom, who lazily deflected it, causing it to shatter the vase of lilies on her table.

'Selene, Selene, Selene, ' he drawled, standing up slowly and walking over to her. 'You think that, because you won one silly little duelling contest at school, your powers come anywhere close to rivalling mine?'

Selene backed away slowly.

'Tom, get out,' she said, her voice wavering with fear.

He laughed coldly.

'You and I have unfinished business,' he said, raising his wand.

But Selene was too quick. She deflected his memory charm in an instant.

'Ah, so that's how you want to play,' he whispered, walking further towards her. 'Well perhaps I'll torture the memory out of you. As I did that foolish Esther girl.'

Selene's eyes widened and Tom smirked at how broken she looked.

'Why?' she whispered, tears streaking down her pale cheeks. 'Why have you done this?'

He shrugged easily.

'Textbooks will have you believe I'm a sociopath. Or a psychopath.'

He laughed and Selene shivered.

'But I personally believe that it's just a matter of my having enough ambition to succeed as the greatest wizard of all time.'

Selene merely stared at him, and he watched her. He marvelled at how different he now felt. Before the last two Horcruxes, he would have felt a semblance of pity for her.

Now, he felt nothing but elation at his power over her. He could do anything to her.

'Tom,' she whispered.

'My name is Lord Voldemort,' he said imperiously, walking forward. 'Tom Riddle was my foolish muggle father.'

Selene shook her head, her tears welling up like crystals in her eyelashes.

'No,' she said, 'Tom Riddle was a boy who I once knew. I grew up with Tom Riddle and he was the most important person in my life, despite the fact that I rarely agreed with anything he did. I would have done anything for Tom Riddle, and it seems I did.'

She bowed her head, pinching the bridge of her nose.

'But you've killed him. You've killed Tom Riddle, and I have no idea who you are. I've never known any person or creature by the name of Voldemort, nor do I want to.'

A sardonic smile twisted upon Tom's lips.

'Well perhaps it's time we were acquainted. Yes, I must say that it's fitting that you be the first mudblood I torture as Voldemort.'

He raised his wand, but Selene was too fast. He was flung high in the air and came to a painful crash against the stove.

'You…'

Selene raised her wand again and he was flung out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

'I told you that you weren't welcome,' she said venomously. 'Not as you are now. I don't care what your followers are ready to do for you, but I won't allow you to torture me for fun.'

Tom laughed slowly from where he was lying in a crumpled heap on her floor. It made Selene shiver.

'Is that so? Who said that I was giving you a choice?'

He suddenly flicked his wand and Selene screamed as she felt something boiling on her insides. It was the most excruciating pain she had ever suffered—worse than the Cruciatus.

She sunk to her knees. The pain was so intense that she wanted to kill herself rather than suffer it for a second longer.

Tom dusted himself off and walked slowly over to Selene, who was gasping on the floor, her pale face white and eyes rolling back into her head.

'If only you saw how pathetic you look right now,' Tom said. 'Now, excuse me, but I need to remove a part of your memory that is vital to me.'

He searched through her memory until he found the part of him telling her about his Horcruxes, and then raised his wand again.

'Oblivio.'

* * *

'Selene?'

She fell into a heap at his feet.

'Selene, what happened to you?'

'Where is he?' she gasped. 'I need him. I need him to take me away, right now. I can't be in London any longer. I need to leave.'

Sean knelt by Selene and brushed the hair out of her face. He cupped her cheeks gently.

'Selene, what happened to you?'

Selene shook her head hopelessly and started crying in her hands, her body shaking violently.

'Sweet Merlin, Selene, I'm calling the Auror's Department…'

She laughed hollowly.

'What? So I can be called a weak woman yet again?'

Sean stared at Selene.

'Please tell me what's happened.'

'I can't,' she said wiping her bloodied nose. 'I just need Alphard. Please!'

Sean nodded hopelessly and went to his fireplace and threw a handful of floo powder in the fire.

'Alphard?'

Alphard's face appeared.

'Yes?'

'Get here, quick. It's Selene.'

Alphard was by Selene's side in an instant.

'Selene. What happened? I only saw you an hour ago… shit, you're bleeding. Sean, get a coat, I'm taking her to Mungo's.'

'No…' Selene protested weakly.

But she was too sapped of energy to struggle as Alphard bounded her up and apparated her to St Mungo's.

* * *

'That man who brought you here, he your…'

'Boyfriend?' Selene offered. 'Yes.'

The Healer nodded and sighed as she sat in the chair next to Selene's bed.

'I know this is personal, but I'm concerned for your safety. Did he do this to you?'

'Alphard?' Selene said, surprised. 'Of course not! It was…'

She trailed off and cleared her throat quickly.

'It was someone else.'

The Healer nodded slowly, and Selene wasn't sure that she had convinced her of Alphard's innocence in the matter.

'He's only ever been good to me. Trust me, I wouldn't accept that in a man.'

The Healer sighed.

'Well just take this vial here- it'll help with the pain- and make sure you rest up this evening. Will the young man be taking you home to your parents?'

Selene shook her head.

'No, I have no parents. But he'll be looking after me, yes.'

The Healer frowned in obvious disapproval.

'You two are living together?'

Selene shook her head.

'No. Not really,' she said, thinking that they practically were, with Alphard staying over at her place most of the time.

The Healer pursed her lips and went to the door of the consulting room.

'You can leave once you're dressed,' she said, leaving the room.

Selene stared at the door and slowly buttoned up her blouse. She had never thought too deeply about her more 'modern' relationship with Alphard, but after the way the Healer had looked at her, she suddenly felt cheap.

She walked out of the room, to see Alphard waiting for her by the door. He came to her immediately, and kissed her.

'Don't do that to me again, do you understand?' he said seriously, cupping her cheeks. 'I can't lose someone else.'

Selene hugged Alphard to her tightly.

'Can we go away? Please?' she whispered.

'Tell me what happened, first,' Alphard said, sitting her down.

Selene looked away.

'I… it was a burglar. He broke in, but he was really powerful when it came to the Dark Arts.'

Alphard stared at her, his mouth set in a hard line.

'If only I hadn't left…'

Selene shrugged hopelessly.

'It wouldn't have made any difference, except for the fact that you too would have been injured.'

Alphard kissed Selene, and Selene could taste the bitter edge to it.

'Where do you want to go?'

Selene looked up at him.

'Anywhere. Somewhere with sun.'

Alphard nodded and kissed her again.

'And your job?'

'I'll quit. I hated it anyway. Maybe I can find work wherever we're going.'

Alphard looked down at their hands.

'Are you sure you won't leave me again?'

Selene shook her head.

'Come with me. I'll be packed in a second. I just don't want to go back to that place alone.'

Alphard nodded and took her hand as they apparated back to her apartment.

* * *

'Okay, you stay with Sean for a few hours. I need to clear out from home.'

Selene nodded meekly and Alphard kissed her.

'You okay? You still look a bit pale.'

Selene kissed him and hugged him to her tightly.

'Hurry back,' she said, kissing him again.

He squeezed her hand and apparated back home.

'Good evening, Alphard.'

He jumped in shock, and spun around to see Dumbledore sitting in a chair in the corner of his room.

'Professor,' he gasped, clutching at his chest. 'You nearly startled me to death! What are you doing here?'

'I rather fancied a chat with you,' Professor Dumbledore said simply. 'And thought I would do so before you and Selene escaped the country.

Alphard blinked, looking confused.

'A… a chat?' he said uncertainly. 'About what? How did you get in here?'

'Oh, I broke in. I hope you don't mind, but I don't believe your parents are in favour of me, ever since I became Headmaster of Hogwarts.'

Alphard shrugged and sat on the end of his bed.

'Well? To what do I owe the pleasure?'

Dumbledore placed the tips of his fingers together lightly, and watched them over his half-moon spectacles.

'Do you remember attending school with a boy named Tom Riddle?' he asked carefully.

Alphard froze.

'Riddle? Whatever he's done, I have nothing to do with…'

'You would therefore be aware that Miss Asteria grew up with him at her orphanage.'

Alphard nodded jerkily.

'Yes. She did. What does that have to do with anything?'

Dumbledore cleared his throat smartly.

'How is Miss Asteria doing? I heard she was injured quite badly. A burglary, was it?'

Alphard watched Dumbledore warily.

'Yes,' he said slowly.

'Ah,' Dumbledore said lightly. He then frowned. 'It just struck me as somewhat strange that Miss Asteria would be so badly injured by a common robber. I'm sure you know as well as I do that her duelling skills are exemplary.'

'Obviously,' Alphard said, his eyes still calculating. 'The only person who ever…'

He trailed off, and his eyes became wide like saucers.

'Riddle?' he seethed, standing up. 'You think _he _did this to her?'

Dumbledore did not respond to this question.

'Alphard, I would like to know if Selene has had any contact with Tom Riddle over the past few years. You mustn't tell her that I have asked you this. You must be extremely cautious in how you gauge this information from her, do you understand?' he said gravely.

Alphard tugged at his black hair.

'Why would she lie about that?'

Dumbledore pursed his lips, his ice blue eyes thoughtful.

'It is a very strange bond, that between Selene and Tom. They are polar opposites, and yet they both seem to bend their rules for each other, and only each other.'

Alphard clenched his fists.

'You think she's been seeing him?'

Dumbledore shrugged.

'I cannot say, as I have not spoken to Miss Asteria for a while now. Furthermore, I doubt I would be able to achieve a truthful answer from her anyway.'

'And why do you need a truthful answer?' Alphard shot, his eyes narrowing in his suspicion.

'Because,' Dumbledore said heavily, 'An esteemed aristocrat, Hepzibah Smith, has been found, murdered. It just so happens that Tom Riddle visited her on the day of her murder for 'Borgin and Burke's', and has not been seen since.'

'He did it?' Alphard whispered.

'One can speculate,' Dumbledore mused. 'But I believe that Selene- if we can trust her to play the double agent- is our only hope at finding the truth and, should he be guilty, catching Tom.

Alphard looked as though he was sucking on a lemon.

'So she's been lying to me,' he said bitterly. 'I don't understand….'

'For all we know, she may have been telling the truth,' Dumbledore said plainly. 'Go on your trip with her and mention nothing of Tom to her. Once you return, I want you to gently coax the truth from her.'

Dumbledore paused, and then reached inside his pocket before handing Alphard a vial of clear potion.

'Veritaserum,' he said quietly. 'But only as a last resort, do you understand me?'

Alphard took the Veritaserum from Dumbledore, his eyes wide.'

'And… what if she has been seeing him?' Alphard asked hesitantly.

'You say you are okay with it,' Dumbledore said seriously. 'This will make her not only more trusting of you, but make her more pliable and likely to help us with our investiagation of Tom's role in a number of murders.

Alphard pocketed the vial and sighed heavily.

'Is that all professor?' he asked wearily.

Dumbledore nodded and stood up.

'Yes. Some food for thought for you. Enjoy your trip.'

And with that, the older wizard apparated away, leaving Alphard feeling hurt and confused.

* * *

**Oh oh oh, what's going on here? Is Dumbledore plotting with Alphie? And what does that make Selene—an innocent pawn in the battle of Dumbledore vs Tom Riddle/Voldemort?**

**Speaking of Alphie, it looks like he's finally getting real love from Selene—especially now that Tom is being so horrible to her. My, women are fickle creatures, aren't they?**

**Next chapter—**

'_I love Tom.' _– Selene to Alphard

**But absolutely no chapters for you unless I get many reviews! This is a horribly stressful time in my life, and it really helps when my efforts to churn out chapters for you are appreciated.**

**Again, many thanks you, if you do review. You seriously help me keep going. **

**Love, Anya**


	34. Chapter 34: Men In Rage Strike

"_**Sir, he is rash and very sudden in choler, and haply**_

_**may strike at you: provoke him, that he may;"**_

**Othello, W. Shakespeare

* * *

**

**Men In Rage Strike Those That Wish Them Best**

Malkin shivered as she flushed the toilet. She stood up unsteadily and brought the soft towel to her mouth, drying it.

She turned to look at the mirror in her bathroom and her eyes widened.

Ever since arriving in France, she had avoided looking in the mirror. Now, as she properly looked at her appearance for the first time, she was stunned.

She staggered towards the basin and touched her hollow cheeks in wonder.

Part of her wanted to cry, because she knew that she had failed Florean and herself in returning back to her old habits.

But another part of her felt comforted. She was back in her familiar emptiness and there was some strange pleasure to be derived from being able to relax into one's old habits.

Rubbing her eyes tiredly, she went back to her desk and continued with her designs, but found it almost impossible to concentrate.

Suddenly, she felt ravenous. She ran to the kitchen and opened the cupboards and started taking anything remotely edible out of them.

Bread, butter, cream, cakes…. She ate them all hurriedly, pausing only when she heart something dropping on the marble floor.

She turned and her eyes widened as she saw that it was her wedding ring.

--

'Wake up.'

Florean furrowed his brow and turned over. Malkin hit him.

'Wake up. Florean, I need you!'

He rubbed his eyes as he sat up slowly.

Suddenly, he started as he saw her.

'Malkin?' he whispered.

She nodded tearfully.

'I've done it again,' she cried.

Florean turned on his desk lamp and she saw his eyes widening in shock as he took in her appearance.

'How long has this been going on for?' he asked quietly.

Malkin sniffed.

'February.'

Florean blinked.

'Ever since I left you?'

She nodded tearfully.

'I can't do this separation anymore. I'm not good for myself. Please say you'll forgive me. Please…'

Florean pulled her to him and kissed her softly.

'I'm always here for you,' he murmured against her lips, hugging her thin body to him gently. 'I'm not going anywhere.'

Malkin's breath caught.

'I'm sorry I woke you up. Do you have to get up early tomorrow?'

Florean pulled her to lie down with him, and kissed the tip of her nose.

'I'm calling in sick tomorrow.'

'But…'

'You're the most important thing in my life. Anything else can wait.'

Malkin nestled her head against his chest.

'I'm going to leave Paris. I can't take the pressure over there, and for what? To give Artemis designs a good name?'

'I've always said you should put your designs into your own label,' Florean said.

'You need money to do that.'

'Surely your parents…'

'My parents haven't contacted me in the past year,' Malkin said angrily.

'They have,' Florean corrected, 'but you've ripped up each of their letters. I don't understand why you are so against their help!'

'Because. I don't want to be indebted to them.'

'There is no debt when it comes to parents and their children. I know they would be happy to help you.'

'I don't want help.'

Florean looked at Malkin.

'I know,' he said grimly. 'And that's why you're back to this again.'

Malkin's eyes widened and she pushed him away and sat up angrily.

'I can't believe…'

'What?' Florean interrupted. 'That I'd stop sugar-coating everything? In my experience, pretending that everything is okay when it's not is not going to help you, or any of us. The truth of it is that your mother came to see me, yesterday, desperate to get in contact with you. Yes, Malkin, they mightn't have been always right. Yes, they could have paid more attention to you when you were growing up, but don't you think you should try forgiving them?'

Malkin crossed her arms stubbornly.

'Did she seduce you too?'

Florean rolled his eyes.

'You're being ridiculously immature now.'

'Well I don't want to see them. What's wrong with just us two?'

'There's nothing wrong with us two,' Florean sighed. 'But you don't realise that no one cares if you had a little assistance in getting your label launched. No one questions that when they see quality designs. It's a dog eat dog world out there- especially when it comes to fashion. Surely you know that from Paris. Sometimes, you have to play a little unconventionally to win.'

Malkin pursed her lips.

'But that's not even it,' Florean sighed. 'I know it's always been a cry for attention for you- especially the first time. You said so yourself. Now you have your parent's attention, Malkin, and it's not because you've relapsed, but because they want to get to know their daughter. Why don't you give them a chance?'

Malkin's nostrils flared, her mouth set in a stubborn line.

'Well think about it at least,' Florean sighed. 'Come on, you look like you could do with some sleep.'

Malkin got into bed gingerly and looked at Florean, biting her lip uncertainly.

'If I do meet them again, will you come with me?' she asked tentatively.

Florean smiled at her and kissed her.

'Yes. Of course I will,' he whispered, kissing her again.

Malkin hugged him tightly.

'I've really missed you,' she murmured, closing her eyes. 'You have no idea how much.'

'I think I do,' Florean said, kissing the top of her head. 'Don't worry, I'll help you get better again.'

Malkin smiled sleepily.

'I know you will,' she yawned. 'My personal guardian angel. And I'm married to you. How lucky can a girl get?'

Florean kissed the top of her head again, and hugged her more closely to him. A look of pain flashed across his face as he felt just how thin she had become

* * *

'I thought you never wanted to come back to London again,' Alphard called from the bathroom where he was shaving.

Selene threw on a silk nightgown and went and sat on the bath ledge.

'I know. I don't.'

'And what's wrong with life here? I thought you loved Venice!'

'I do,' Selene said, hugging his waist from behind and kissing the back of his neck lingeringly. 'I love it so much here, that I'd be happy to never leave this beautiful city ever again.'

Alphard bent over and washed his face, and took the towel which Selene handed him. Selene leant forward and brushed her lips against his lips slowly, teasingly.

'I love it when you've just shaved,' she whispered, stroking his cheek as she kissed him again.

Alphard pulled her to him suddenly and she squealed as he carried her back to the bed.

--

'So,' Alphard said, turning to face Selene, whose cheeks were flushed as her chest rose and fell rapidly. 'Why are we returning to London?'

Selene's face fell.

'Florean wrote to me.'

Alphard raised an eyebrow and leant forward and kissed her neck, just above the collarbone. Selene sighed and tangled a hand in his long, black hair.

'So?'

'Malkin's relapsed.'

Alphard paused from where he was kissing her, and looked up at Selene.

'I'm sorry,' he said genuinely.

Selene sighed.

'I know. I really thought she was over it.'

'What happened?'

'She went to France and, in the time she was separated from Florean, somehow reverted to her old habits.'

Alphard exhaled and kissed Selene's forehead.

'I want to be there for her. I don't want to leave here, but I think she needs support. She's my best friend, and Florean can't do it all alone.'

Alphard swallowed and lay his head on her chest. He didn't want to leave the blissful life they had created together over the past year in Venice. Selene had worked as an assistant in a Healer's clinic, whilst he worked at reception for the hotel they were living in- thereby giving them a luxurious place to stay, with free food of excellent quality.

It was a beautiful life. With the extra income they had- they had been able to afford a somewhat lavish lifestyle and would attend events such as the opera, ballet and theatre in their evenings.

Selene herself had long forgotten about the shabby attire she had worn at the orphanage. Often, Malkin had sent her a few of her designs to wear, but she would also go shopping and buy gowns of the finest silk that were perfectly tailored to her figure.

And when they returned to their hotel room, they would disappear under the covers. Gone were the formalities of English prudery. They explored each other's bodies shamelessly and Selene found herself doing things that she could never have imagined of whilst living back in England.

'I guess the honeymoon's over,' Alphard murmured.

Selene bit her lip, her cheeks burning.

'We're not married,' she said quietly.

Alphard ignored this statement, and it cut Selene.

'Do you think you could just go back and visit her?' he asked. 'England's not far from here.'

Selene sighed and sat up. Alphard looked at her dolefully.

'Alphie,' she said softly. 'This past year has been amazing. I can't think of a time in my life when I was as happy as I've been this past year, with you.'

'So why does it have to end?' Alphard pressed. 'Why end a good thing?'

Selene toyed with the cotton sheets.

'Because we need to grow up,' she said sadly. 'We can't keep living in this lovely and safe cocoon of a world we've set up for ourselves over here.'

'Why not?' Alphard said mulishly.

'Because there are other people we care about back in England. You have a family back there- have you forgotten about them so easily?'

'They seemed quite happy to forget about me,' Alphard shrugged.

Selene kissed him coaxingly.

'And I have people back in England who I care about.'

Alphard stiffened as he thought of Tom for the first time during their trip. He had long forgotten his conversation Dumbledore in his contentedness with his life with Selene.

Now that she wanted to return to England, however, suspicion sunk in.

'Who, apart from Malkin and Florean do you care about, in England?'

'Aren't they enough?' Selene said softly.

'What about Riddle?' Alphard burst out, before he could help it.

Selene blinked, and moved away from Alphard slightly.

'Do you deny that you care about him?' he asked harshly.

Selene swallowed and looked down, her cheeks burning.

'I love Tom in a very different way to how you accuse me,' she murmured.

She then shook her head.

'Loved. Not anymore.'

'Love's a strong word,' Alphard shot. 'And try me. Perhaps I might understand.'

Selene's eyes flashed.

'I had known him for longer than anyone else in the world. Up until we finished school, he had been the only sure constant in my life. As much as I hated him, I had no choice but to love him for that.'

Alphard said nothing, and Selene cupped his cheek and kissed him lingeringly.

'I don't want to discuss him,' she said firmly. 'Ever again. I don't even know who he is- or where he is, for that matter- anymore.'

Alphard looked into her eyes seriously.

'You wouldn't ever lie to me, would you?' he asked quietly.

Selene shivered, and then sighed heavily.

'The honeymoon period really must be over for us to even be having this conversation,' she whispered. 'And no, I wouldn't lie to you,' she added seriously.

She bit her lip as she remembered her heritage, and looked away quickly as she felt her guilt overcoming her.

'So we're really leaving, then, are we?' Alphard asked, his tone somewhat harsh.

Selene nodded heavily.

'Yes. I suppose we have to.'

He pursed his lips and then kissed Selene.

'Anything for you, _cara mia_.'

Selene traced the outline of his lips.

'I love you so much,' she whispered, leaning forward and kissing him. 'Maybe we can return here every summer?'

Alphard smiled sadly.

'We'll see,' he said, kissing her cheek. 'As for now… I suppose we had better hand in our notice.'

Selene's shoulders slumped at the thought of leaving her job, where she was treated with respect as opposed to her old job in England.

'I suppose you're right,' she sighed reluctantly.

* * *

'I'm so sorry.'

'Malkin, stop apologising.'

'If I hadn't have been so weak, you would still be having a nice time with Alphard in Venice.'

'Well, I suppose the honeymoon had to end sometime,' Selene said bitterly.

Malkin blinked, surprised.

'You're married?'

'No I'm not,' Selene said quickly.

'Oh.'

Selene looked up at Malkin.

'What?'

'I just thought… after all this time, and then going ahead and _living_ together for so long that you'd want to make that commitment to each other.'

Selene pursed her lips as she picked at her carrot cake.

'I do,' she said. 'I don't think he wants to.'

'Because of what happened to his fiancée?' Malkin whispered.

Selene shrugged hopelessly.

'Maybe. I don't know,' she shrugged. 'Anyway. We need to discuss you. What happened?'

Malkin fell very quiet, and wrung her thin hands nervously.

'I was alone.'

'Yes, but you did so well alone for the first nine months.'

'No, Florean and I would always see each other every few weeks… but then I didn't see him for a month.'

'Why?' Selene whispered.

Malkin swallowed thickly.

'I was feeling the pressure at work, and he was finding it hard to keep up with his classes and work shifts.'

'But surely…'

'Part of me just didn't want to see him. Part of me wanted to be able to go back to my old habits.'

'Wh—'

'Because it's familiar!' Malkin sighed hopelessly. 'Because, despite the fact that I managed for so long without actually reverting back to old habits, I still notice every single thing I've put in my mouth since rehab. I can't beat this…'

Tears started streaming down Malkin's cheeks and she hunched over and started breathing heavily.

'I don't want to say this to Florean, because he seems to have gotten over it so successfully… and I want him to think I'm better than this.'

'But he knows you've relapsed,' Selene said gently.

'I know,' Malkin said miserably. 'But he thinks that I'll be fine soon. He thinks it's simply because we didn't see each other.'

Malkin rubbed her eyes tiredly and Selene took her hand.

'You need to tell him,' Selene said earnestly. 'He cares about you more than anything. He deserves to be able to be there as fully as he can for you.'

Malkin nodded quickly and blew her nose.

'I'm so glad I'm back, and that you're here as well,' Malkin said quietly. 'France wasn't right all by myself, and England wouldn't be right without you.'

Selene forced a tight smile and hugged Malkin.

'Let's just get you better, okay?'

* * *

'Thank you for meeting me, Alphard,' Dumbledore said, motioning for Alphard to sit. 'I trust you had an enjoyable trip to Venice?'

'Yes. But too short,' Alphard sighed.

Dumbledore smiled.

'I think you'll always find that, no matter how long you go on holiday for.'

Alphard nodded ruefully.

'I'm afraid I don't have much time,' Dumbledore said, glancing at his watch. 'I just came by to ask if you had thought or perhaps acted upon what we discussed during our last conversation.'

Alphard looked down at his hands.

'She said that she doesn't know where he is- or who he is- anymore.'

'Ah,' Dumbledore said lightly.

'You don't believe her?' Alphard asked, surprised.

'I wonder… do you still have the Veritaserum I gave you?'

'Yes,' Alphard said slowly. 'She was telling the truth, though. I know she was.'

Dumbledore nodded and stood up swiftly.

'I'm afraid I must be off,' he said, going to the door.

Alphard's shoulders slumped.

'She wouldn't lie to me,' he said quietly.

Dumbledore paused at the door.

'You shouldn't blame her, Alphard. Tom has this effect on all he tries to charm. Selene is of a pure nature. It is only natural that she should fall under his spell.'

Alphard looked away bitterly.

'Even when we were in Venice?'

'I wouldn't put it past Tom Riddle,' Dumbledore said grimly. 'I believe him to be responsible for four deaths, and it's highly likely that he has been the cause of many more.'

'Surely Selene would be against that!' Alphard reasoned.

'She probably doesn't know,' Dumbledore said gently.

Alphard snorted and then rubbed his eyes tiredly.

'Okay, okay, I'll try again.'

'Understand that I only ask this of you because I believe that Tom- despite the fact that Selene is a muggleborn- probably trusts her more than anyone else. They have known each other longer than anyone else.'

Alphard's nostrils flared at the thought, and he nodded resolutely.

'Very well, you have my word,' he said, holding out his hand.

Dumbledore smiled and shook it, before leaving the room.

* * *

Selene looked around the room they had taken at the Leaky Cauldron.

'Not quite like our room back in Venice,' Alphard commented, lying back on the bed.

Selene went over to the bed and lay next to him, brushing his black hair out of his eyes.

'No,' she murmured, kissing him. 'Not quite like it at all.'

Alphard sighed impatiently.

'How's Malkin? Good enough that we can go back?'

Selene pursed her lips.

'No. The opposite. She's in a much worse state than I expected. I have to be here for her.'

Alphard was silent, and Selene sat up on her elbows and looked down into his eyes.

'Maybe it's good for us to be back, though,' she said hopefully. 'Maybe we should… settle down?'

The words hung high in the air, and Selene looked away, her heart sinking as she saw Alphard tense up at the suggestion.

She quickly got off the bed, feeling hurt and rejection overcoming her.

'Where are you going?' Alphard sighed.

'For a walk,' Selene said unsteadily, fastening her cloak.

'At this hour?'

'Yes. Do you want me to get anything while I'm out?'

Alphard sat up heavily.

'Wait, I'll come with you…'

'No!'

Alphard blinked in surprised and they stared at each other.

'I mean… I'd just to be alone. To clear my thoughts,' Selene added hastily.

Alphard's eyes narrowed suspiciously.

'Are you meeting someone?' he asked.

Selene frowned.

'No, I'm going for a walk. As I said,' she said slowly.

Her shoulders slumped as she in Alphard's expression that he didn't believe her.

'I don't want you to go.'

Selene blinked.

'I'm sorry?' she said incredulously.

'I don't want you to go,' Alphard said stoutly, walking over to her. 'Not alone. I don't think a girl should be out on her own at this hour. It sends the wrong message.'

'What message,' Selene said icily. 'Do you think I would send?'

'You're with me, and I don't want anyone thinking that my girl's a common street whore.'

Selene opened her mouth to retort, furious—

'You…'

'Not if I'm going to introduce you to my parents some time soon,' Alphard added heavily.

Selene suddenly blinked in surprise.

'Your… parents?' she whispered.

'We've been together for a while now. I'd like to make it a bit more official,' Alphard murmured, not looking up at her. 'I'm pretty sure they won't take to you because of your blood, so I'd like you to behave as respectably as possible in the meantime.'

All angry thoughts were suddenly gone. Selene thought that, if Alphard was prepared to introduce her to his parents, a marriage proposal must have been eminent in the near future.

She smiled warmly at him and kissed him lingeringly.

'Okay, then. I'll behave like a proper lady from now on,' she grinned.

Alphard surveyed her dubiously.

'You're being very easy about this,' he said suspiciously.

'It's important to you,' Selene shrugged.

'They're horrible,' Alphard warned.

'So long as you're there to hold my hand, I'm sure I'll survive,' Selene said, smiling at him.

Alphard observed Selene quietly, and Selene's smile faltered.

'What's wrong, Alphie?' she whispered.

He turned his back to her suddenly and walked over to the window that overlooked Diagon Alley.

'Selene, have you seen Tom Riddle since we finished school?'

Selene paled.

'Alphie, where's this coming from?'

'Have you?'

Selene backed away, her eyes wide. She had never expected Alphard, of all people, to raise his voice at her.

'What's happened to you?' she whispered. 'Why have you changed so much since coming to England?'

'Well that's just it, isn't it?' Alphard shot acridly. 'I've come all the way to England for you, and you can't even be honest to me about Tom fucking Riddle.'

Selene's eyes flashed.

'Don't speak to me like that,' she said quietly, though there was the undertone of a threat in her tone.

'Or what? You'll run off to Tommy?'

Selene's face blanched.

'Are you drunk?' she asked, confused.

'Answer me!'

'You've been doing Vice again,' Selene said suddenly, backing closer towards the door. 'I can't believe you'd do that again, after everything it put Malkin through.'

Alphard laughed, uncharacteristically darkly.

'There's another one!' he laughed. 'Malkin! Tell me, Malkin, who do you want to be with? Malkin or me? Because, last time _I _checked, she was married!'

'Married!' Selene shrieked, her eyes flashing angrily. 'Something we'll never be!'

Alphard's lip curled back.

'I wouldn't want to marry a liar like you anyway,' he sneered.

Selene pushed past him and started packing her things.

'Where do you think you're going?' he demanded.

'Away from you. You're not who I thought you were,' she said, throwing her clothes into her trunk.

'Oh no, but Tommy is?'

Stop it!' Selene shrieked. 'You're just as bad as he is! Why don't you run off and marry him, if you're so intent on behaving like him?'

'I am _nothing_ like that murdering…'

Selene's eyes widened in shock.

'How did you know?' she whispered, her lips white.

Alphard looked as though he had been slapped.

'_You_ knew?' he whispered dangerously. 'You _knew _that Riddle had murdered, and yet you said nothing to anyone?'

Selene turned her back to Alphard and continued to throw her clothes in her trunk with shaking hands.

He grabbed her shoulders roughly.

'We're not done, here.'

Selene spun around, her eyes cold.

'Is this how you behaved with your fiancée?' she seethed. 'Because if I were here and stuck in a relationship like this with _you_, I'd have asked my ex boyfriend to murder me as well!'

As soon as she said it, Selene knew she had overstepped the line, and she instantly regretted it. That didn't prepare her for Alphard's reaction.

His palm reverberated in the suddenly silent room as it cracked across her cheek and Selene spun around, falling on the bed.

She sat up suddenly, her eyes wide with shock, and stared at Alphard.

'I'm so sorry,' he said through gritted teeth, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sunk to the ground and sat against the bed. 'I…. I don't know what came over me. I don't deserve your forgiveness.'

Selene sat up slowly and looked down at Alphard, tears spilling down her cheeks.

'What happened to you? We were so happy in Venice?' she whispered.

Alphard shook his head hopelessly.

'Dumbledore got to me again,' he said, his tone harsh. 'I shouldn't have seen him.'

'_Dumbledore_?' Selene asked, shocked.

Alphard looked up at Selene, his grey eyes pained. Tentatively, she moved over to him and sat next to him.

'What happened?' she asked firmly.

Alphard looked away, his cheek burning.

'He wants me to find out if you've been seeing Tom. He said that you would know where Tom is, and about supposed murders that he's committed.'

Selene shivered. She had never expected such deviousness from her old Head of House.

'When did he ask you this?'

'He asked me the first time just before we left for Venice,' Alphard admitted sheepishly. 'But I ignored it.'

'What made you change your mind?'

'He asked to see me again as soon as we had arrived in London.'

'Is that why you've been funny ever since we came back?' Selene asked quietly.

Alphard swallowed and nodded swiftly.

Selene looked away, her eyes pained.

'I let him get to me,' Alphard said sorrowfully. 'But I don't care about Riddle. I just want you. Can't we just go back to Venice and continue on as though none of this ever happened?'

Selene shook her head.

'No, because it has happened.'

Alphard sniffed and nodded.

'I suppose you were right, then. What you said about Ada.'

Selene looked up into his eyes her own eyes wide.

'I'm so sorry for what I said, Alphie,' she whispered truthfully. 'You were being horrible to me- and it doesn't justify your hitting me- but I was completely out of line with what I said. I didn't even mean it, I truly didn't.'

Alphard drew an unsteady breath and Selene looked down and took his hand, tentatively.

'How about we just forget this and start again. Here. Let's find a nice place here in London, and life will be good. I promise it will be. I love you too much to let this stupid past hour ruin what we have. How about we just erase this hour from our memory?'

Alphard chewed his lip.

'I would like that,' he said quietly.

Selene smiled, wincing a little as she felt e bruise arising, and leant forward and kissed him slowly. Alphard pulled her to him, kissing her more fervently.

'Please forgive me,' he whispered against her lips. 'I don't deserve it, but…'

'I do,' Selene whispered, kissing him again. 'Let's just forget this all happened.'

Alphard pulled away and stroked her cheek, lightly.

'And about marriage,' he said uncomfortably.

Selene looked up hopefully.

'My last attempt went horribly. Would you mind if we just left the concept of engagement for a while? We're happy as we are, aren't we?'

Selene looked down to hide her disappointment.

'Sure,' she lied. 'I understand.'

Alphard smiled at her and kissed her forehead, hugging her tightly to his side.

--

That evening, Selene couldn't help hurt tears stinging her eyes as she watched Alphard's back as he slept.

He had promised to never hurt her, and yet he had struck her today.

Just like Tom.

But he wasn't Tom, and that made it even worse. His striking her was completely unexpected and that made it completely unfair. At least, with Tom, she had usually had the option of defending herself.

Turning her back, Selene caught glimpse of her wand, sitting on her bedside table, and snatched it as she went to the bathroom.

There was someone she needed to find.

* * *

**I absolutely do not condone violence in relationships. This is fiction. Relationships like Selene/Tom and even how Alphard treated Selene just now is NOT okay. I hope this story does not glorify such relationships, but shows just how terrible and unhealthy they can be. Selene deserves much better and so do you.**

**If you are in such a relationship, please get out. **

**Now that I've said my piece- did you miss me? Well, I missed you! I haven't had internet access on my computer for the past week, so sorry for delayed review responses… and this delayed update. The only thing that has been having healthy updates is my Twitter. And even that's been playing up, so please don't be offended if I've randomly 'stopped following' you. It seems to keep randomly make me 'unfollow' people. I've re-followed those who I can remember, but if I don't regularly 'tweet' with you, I may have forgotten you. **

**Just let me know if this is the case **

**Onto what you actually want to hear about-**

'_I shouldn't be telling you this, but he knows that you've murdered people. Dumbledore's onto you, Tom.' _– Selene to Tom

**Now, my lovelies, it is your turn to do your bit. Review!**

**Love, Anya**


	35. Chapter 35: Plead Like Angels

"_**And it came to pass afterward, that he loved a woman in the valley of Sorek, whose name was **__**Delilah**__**.**__**" **_**- Bible

* * *

**

**Plead Like Angels**

'You have returned. But too soon.'

Selene stopped in her tracks. Circe was not in her throne. She spun around and saw a bath in the corner of the temple.

There lay Circe, her long red hair floating around her ivory body like floating coral. Her eyes were closed and she was breathing quick, shallow breaths.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and Selene was struck by how hollow her hazel eyes were. Circe suddenly got out of the bath, tearing off her bathrobe.

'Blood, blood, blood!' she shrieked, rubbing her skin as though there were insects crawling all over her.

Selene took a step back as Circe hastily threw a jewel-encrusted robe on. Slowly, her breathing settled.

'That's better,' she said unsteadily as she walked in a daze over to her throne. 'Come, my child. Come.'

Uncertainly, Selene followed Circe and sat next to her. She watched curiously as Circe put various dried herbs in a pipe and lit them. As Circe inhaled from the pipe her eyelids fluttered closed. When she opened her eyes, Selene was struck by how dilated her pupils had become.

'So it has begun. The path has already been taken.'

'What path?' Selene asked.

Circe merely drew again from her pipe.

'You have mixed blood with another. Your bond has been sealed.'

'Tom?'

Circe nodded and rubbed her temples slowly, showing her heavily jewelled fingers.

'And Alphard?'

'The other has hurt you.'

'So has Tom.'

'He was expected. The other was not.'

Selene swallowed thickly.

'I don't understand what you're trying to tell me,' she said.

Circe smiled ruefully.

'I cannot tell you yet. I must not change the future. Fate must not be tampered with. Should I cross her again, there will be dire consequences.'

'Fate is an actual person?' Selene said, surprised.

A small smile twisted upon Circe's red lips.

'We are all real, Selene. Including the goddess Selene.'

There was silence as Selene considered what Circe had just told her.

'You must continue your life as it is now,' Circe said heavily. 'You will return again, but now I cannot help you.'

Selene looked up at Circe desperately.

'You are the only mother I could ever know,' she said. 'Please, if you know something- anything- you have to tell me!'

Circe looked away.

'I cannot.'

'He hit me. Alphard was jealous and he hit me. I never thought he would do something like that. What do I do?'

Circe grimaced painfully.

'Leave! I told you that I must not say!'

'Please!' Selene begged, grasping Circe's arm.

Circe turned suddenly and looked at Selene sadly.

'It is time for you to return, my child,' she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes.

'No…'

But it was too late. As soon as Selene had opened her eyes again, she was back on the floor in the bathroom.

* * *

'You look exhausted,' Malkin said as she opened the door for Selene.

Selene shrugged and walked into the apartment.

Suddenly, Malkin took Selene's arm and stared at the shadow on Selene's cheek.

'Selene,' she said seriously, 'What's that on your cheek.'

Selene quickly touched her cheek. She had forgotten to cover the bruise up.

'Oh, nothing. I was half-asleep and hit myself on the bedpost when I got up.'

Malkin nodded dubiously.

'And how are you going?' Selene said, changing the subject as they sat down at the kitchen table. 'You're looking healthier.'

Malkin smiled.

'It's impossible not to eat in this household. Florean's always cooking and I'm always taste-testing for him.'

Selene laughed.

'Well, it's a win-win for you both, then?'

Malkin ran a hand through her long, black hair.

'I'm happier,' she said truthfully. 'Much happier. I was so miserable in Paris, and not eating made me even more so. Now that I'm with Florean, here, it's so much nicer. I don't have crazy deadlines to meet and my outlook on everything is just so positive.'

Selene smiled warmly.

'So you're staying here for good?'

Malkin nodded seriously.

'Yes. The only problem is that I don't have a job at the moment.'

'Oh well, I'm sure you'll find one here. After all, you were accepted into one of the world's most lucrative fashion labels. Anyone here would kill to have you designing for them.'

Malkin chewed her lip.

'You see, I know that. But I don't want to be told what to do anymore. I'm designing for these labels, but getting no credit for it. I want to create my own label.'

Selene's eyes widened.

'Really! That would be brilliant!'

Malkin smiled.

'I think so too. I'm seeing my parents tonight with Florean to run it by them. I need financial backing, you see.'

'You're seeing your parents?' Selene said, shocked.

Malkin gave a quick, nervous nod.

'That's wonderful,' Selene said, patting Malkin's hand. 'I'm so happy for you. Everything seems to be going so well for you now!'

Malkin's lips quivered into a tentative smile.

'I hope it lasts, this time.'

Selene sighed.

'I think it's important that you just be honest with yourself, and us, from now on,' Selene said. 'If you feel yourself slipping up, just tell us and we'll be there to support you through it.'

Malkin nodded quickly.

'I know.'

Malkin paused.

'I was wondering… if this label kicks off, would you model for me?'

'Me?' Selene asked, surprised.

Malkin nodded.

'You're absolutely perfect. I would want no one else as the face of my label.'

Selene hugged Malkin tightly.

'I'd love to.'

* * *

When Selene returned to the hotel room, she was thinking of what Circe had told her about having sealed a bond between her and Tom.

Was it true? Did she really have a blood bond with him, now?

She looked up as Alphard walked in the room. He had a towel around his waist, and was drying his hair with the other one.

'You're back,' he said, smiling tentatively. 'I didn't hear you leave this morning.'

Selene sat on the edge of the bed, avoiding his eyes.

'I didn't want to wake you,' she said. 'I went to see Malkin.'

Alphard sat next to her on the bed.

'How is she?'

'Much better,' Selene said quietly. 'It's amazing how quickly she recovered after returning home.'

They sat in silence, and Alphard turned to look at Selene.

'I'm so sorry about yesterday,' he whispered. 'What do I have to do to make this right?'

Selene slowly turned her head and looked up into his grey eyes. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.

'I just want to forget about it,' she said quietly.

Alphard kissed the top of her head.

'I have something for you.'

Selene looked up at him.

'What is it?'

Alphard smiled a little and stood up.

'Just let me get dressed, and I'll take you there.

--

'I don't like being blindfolded,' Selene frowned. 'Is this really necessary?'

Alphard kissed her cheek and they stopped walking.

'Okay, we're here.'

'What is this, Alphie?'

Alphie laughed lightly and slowly untied her blindfold. Selene opened her eyes to see a beautiful, two-storey country house.

She turned around suddenly and looked at Alphard.

'Where are we?'

'Hall's Valley,' he said, looking amused. 'What do you think of the house?'

'That one?' Selene said, turning around to look at the house again.

'Yes, do you like it?'

Selene laughed.

'Of course I do! It's beautiful. It seems so peaceful around here.'

'Would you like to see around the back?'

Selene nodded eagerly and took his hand as he led her through the front garden, to the back. She gasped as she saw the expansive, green landscape.

'All of this is the back?'

Alphard nodded.

'Yes. And if you look over there where all those trees are, there's a lake. All part of this property.'

Selene wondered around the back yard, stopping by the large laurel tree.

'It's so beautiful here,' she said, closing her eyes and smiling as she felt the sun shining down on her face. 'Did you rent it for the weekend?'

Alphard chuckled and came up to her and kissed her softly.

'Not quite.'

'Oh,' Selene said, her shoulders sinking in disappointment. 'I guess that I could understand that the owner wouldn't want to rent this out to someone else.'

Alphard laughed.

'I bought it. It's ours.'

Selene clapped her hands over her mouth to stifle her excited squeal.

'You bought it!' she exclaimed. 'But how much…'

'From my uncle. He bought it a while ago, but moved to Florence instead. He gave it to me for a very good price.'

Selene turned around, her eyes wide as she took in her surroundings.

'So… we're going to be … _living_ here?' she said weakly.

'Do you like it?'

Selene kissed Alphard excitedly.

'I love it! I can't believe… it's so perfect, Alphie!'

He laughed and kissed her again.

'Let's start over again,' he whispered against her lips. 'We'll make everything right over here. I want us to.'

Selene nodded and brushed his black hair out of his eyes.

'I want to, too.'

Alphard kissed her again.

'Want to see inside?'

Selene nodded and he led her around the front again.

'We might as well do this properly,' Alphard said, his lips twitching.

He lifted her up and carried her through the front door. As he did, Selene felt her heart sinking yet again as she realised that they were moving in without getting married. She wondered that-perhaps- he wanted them to move in together so that she would forget about getting married.

He set her down, and she dismissed these thoughts as she took in the lavishly decorated interior. All the furniture was fine antique and the floorboards of beautifully polished wood, covered with rich Persian carpets.

As she walked through the house, she acutely felt that it was a very big house for merely two people and suddenly wished that she could have children.

But then she remembered the Asteria Curse, and felt herself becoming sad, and guilty.

'Well? What's the verdict?'

Selene looked up at Alphard. Even if they weren't getting married, he was showing a commitment to her by buying the house for them to live in.

And yet she was still yet to tell him the entire truth about her heritage.

She forced a smile.

'I'm still in shock,' she admitted.

Alphard kissed her.

'What do you say we empty out our room at that Leaky Cauldron so we can make this place our own?'

Selene opened her mouth. She _wanted_ to tell Alphard the truth- before they settled in so properly together- but then hesitated.

Malkin had Florean, and Tom was gone. She had no other friends and no family.

Alphard was all she had, and she didn't want to risk losing him. Even if that meant withholding the full truth from him.

'What's wrong?' he frowned.

Selene smiled.

'Nothing's wrong. It's perfect, Alphie. Thank you.'

He kissed her again, cupping her cheeks gently.

'I want us to go back to what it was like in Venice. I'm hoping that we can, here.'

Selene hugged him to her tightly.

'We can. We will,' she said firmly, kissing his shoulder.

But she couldn't help feeling a nagging sense of guilt that she was wrong in withholding the truth from him.

* * *

Selene felt wary as she approached Dumbledore's office. She had felt her was trust betrayed that he had originally gone behind her back in asking Alphard to keep an eye on her, and was not entirely sure she wanted to hear whatever he had to ask her.

She looked up as the door was opened.

'Miss Asteria, long time no see!'

Selene merely looked at him, and Dumbledore nodded.

'Come in, come in,' he said, leading her into his office.

Selene sat gingerly in the chair opposite the desk, and Dumbledore sighed as he sat.

'I understand your anger towards me,' he said quietly. 'And I know my behaviour was inexcusable. However, I would like to explain my reasoning for it.'

Selene crossed her arms, waiting.

'Tom is a murderer.'

'Do you have proof of this?' Selene asked coldly, despite the fact that she knew it was the truth.

'I do, but not enough to convict him.'

'And who has he supposedly murdered?' Selene asked.

'His father- Tom Riddle Snr- and his parents. As well as Hephzibah Smith. I presume there are others he may have murdered though I can't be certain.'

Selene looked down at the table and swallowed thickly. She sat forward as she saw a photo of a man who looked so similar to Tom, but she knew wasn't.'

'Is that…'?

'His father, yes,' Dumbledore nodded. 'And this is Hephzibah Smith.'

Selene bit her lip and looked away. She had known that Tom had killed, but up until now they were faceless people.

She looked up at Dumbledore, feeling tears stinging her eyes.

'You could have come to me directly,' she said reproachfully.

Dumbledore nodded heavily.

'This is true, and I'm sorry. I underestimated you in that I thought your loyalty towards Tom would have been stronger than your sense of justice.'

Selene fidgeted. Dumbledore had touched a nerve with this point.

'May I ask- you're the headmaster of Hogwarts. You're not the minister for magic, nor do you work in the Auror's office. Is it really your place to be investigating Tom?'

She was sure she saw Dumbledore's eyes hardening a little at this.

'I am passionate about teaching, and am more than thankful to have been offered this position as Headmaster following Professor Dippett's retirement. That does not mean that my concern for the welfare of the public of the wizarding world is any less.'

Selene swallowed.

'And what do you want me to do?' she asked, looking up at Dumbledore.

'Are you in contact with Tom?'

Selene shook her head.

'No. I haven't seen him in nearly two years now.'

Dumbledore nodded.

'Would you know how to find him?'

Selene thought back to what Circe had said about her bond with Tom.

'I'm not sure. I suppose I could try,' she shrugged.

'Selene, if you don't find him, it is possible that more and more people will die at his hands. Do whatever you need to do to find him. If you are able to yield a confession from him, so much the better.'

Selene's heart pounded in her chest.

'How do you expect me to do that?'

Dumbledore looked at the tips of his fingers.

'I may be wrong,' he said lightly, 'but I believe that you are the only one whom Tom has ever shown any mercy to.'

Selene snorted and Dumbledore nodded.

'Mercy in his own small way,' he corrected.

Selene frowned.

'I don't know that Alphard would be happy about this,' she said.

'But this would be for the greater good, Selene. Of course, you don't have to do anything you don't have to. Just think of all the people you could potentially save.'

Selene pinched the bridge of her nose.

'Okay,' she said through gritted teeth. 'I'll think about it.

She stood up and Dumbledore came over and shook her hand.

'Thank you, Selene. I knew I could trust you to do the right thing.'

* * *

'Where have you been?' Alphard asked as Selene slumped tiredly into the armchair in the living room.

'Dumbledore wished to see me,' she said, rubbing her eyes.

Alphard sat up tersely.

'Why?'

Selene looked at Alphard apologetically.

'He wants me to find Tom.'

Alphard clenched his fists.

'Why should you?' he said harshly.

'Because he's murdering people,' Selene said gently. 'And I need to stop that.'

'Why should _you _be the one to do that?'

'Because apparently Tom will trust me,' she said. 'And if I can stop any more deaths, then I'll do it.'

'But you'll have to see him again,' Alphard half-shouted in frustration.

'Are you jealous?' Selene warned.

'Last time we had this discussion, you knew he was murdering people and yet you weren't bothered.'

'Well I've realised that was wrong,' she said angrily. 'I was too forgiving towards him. But now I'm not going to be blinded by a false sense of hope that he'll see the error in his ways.'

Alphard stood up suddenly.

'I don't like this,' he said stoutly.

Selene stood up, her eyes flashing.

'If you can't trust that I love you, then I don't want us to be together.'

She stormed out of the room and up the stairs. Alphard ran after her.

She turned suddenly when she was at the door to their bedroom.

'You can sleep in the guest bedroom tonight,' she said icily before slamming the door in his face.

* * *

The next morning, Selene went to Dumbledore's office. Her face was pale and her expression grim.

'I'll do it,' she said resolutely. 'I'll find him.'

Dumbledore nodded and motioned for her to sit down.

'I just don't know how I'm going to do this,' Selene continued. 'He'll think it strange- he'll notice something's up.'

Dumbledore was silent for a moment.

'I don't believe Tom is capable of loving someone, but he is a man after all,' he said quietly. There might be something to be taken from the story of Samson and Delilah.'

Selene's eyes widened.

'You want me to… to _seduce_ him?' she whispered, standing up slowly.

'Do only what you think is necessary,' Dumbledore said calmly. 'Remember, Selene, this is not an innocent boy. He is a cold-blooded murderer.'

Selene shivered.

Suddenly, she was struck by how wrong this entire exercise was. Tom, whatever he was, trusted her.

They were bonded, as Circe had said.

She could not break that trust or bond. Yes, he had done wrong, but she still had faith.

He had once been tender enough to hold her gently, once been weak enough to be willing to mix his blood with hers.

Surely, if she had such a hold on him, there was still chance that he could repent?

She blinked away bitter tears as she realised that, her only reason for accepting the mission so readily was because she wanted to go against Alphard's wishes.

'Selene?'

Her gaze snapped up to Dumbledore and she gathered her bag and cloak.

'I'm sorry,' she said. 'I've changed my mind. I can't do this. You'll have to find another way.'

Dumbledore stared into her eyes and she felt the memory of her and Tom, the evening before he left, surfacing in her mind's eye.

She looked away quickly.

'I'm sorry, I have to go.'

Dumbledore nodded.

'I understand, Selene,' he said politely. 'It was a huge risk, what I was asking of you, and you had every right to refuse.'

Selene smiled, feeling relieved.

'Sorry, sir. It just doesn't feel right.'

Dumbledore nodded and, with a nod, Selene left the office.

* * *

Tom grimaced in pain and looked down to see a deep gash on his forearm. Wiping the sweat from his forehead, he pulled out his wand and healed the wound.

He watched as the gash magically zipped up and sighed as he leant back against the tree and regained his breath.

He closed his eyes and was suddenly overwhelmed by the sense of a very strong force of power nearby.  
Keeping his eyes closed, he focused on walking towards this force.

He opened his eyes slowly and found himself face to face with the hollowed-out tree that the Grey Lady had told him about when he was still at Hogwarts.

His eyes lit up eagerly as he walked around the tree until he reached the point where the magic was strongest.

Deftly, he made an incision in the wood using his wand. He removed the wood and a smile spread across his face as he saw the diadem.

Slowly, he reached and pulled it of the trunk.

'Three down, one to go,' he whispered.

* * *

'What are you playing at?' Alphard hissed. 'You asked her to find _Riddle?'_

Dumbledore looked up at Alphard plainly.

'Yes, I did. And, this morning, she refused?'

Alphard blinked, surprised.

'She did?' he said, feeling pleased with Selene.

'Yes,' Dumbledore said grimly. 'Which means that she still feels a strong sense of loyalty towards Tom.'

Alphard's shoulders slumped as he realised what Dumbledore was saying.

'Are you aware that they were once lovers?'

Alphard's face blanched.

'No!' he said indignantly. 'She would never go there…'

'I saw it in her memories, Alphard,' Dumbledore said quietly.

Alphard felt his hands shaking.

'What do you want from me?' he said through gritted teeth. 'I loved that girl, and you continually make me doubt it.'

'Just be wary,' Dumbledore said seriously. 'I want you to keep a very close eye on her from now on. I believe her when she says that she hasn't seen Tom in a long time, but she may see fit to warn Tom now. I cannot know where her true loyalties lie.'

'We had a fight last night,' Alphard said slowly. 'I didn't want her to do it. Maybe _that's _why?'

Dumbledore shrugged.

'I cannot know. All I ask is that you pass along any information you may hear about Riddle.'

Alphard nodded and got up swiftly.

'Excuse me.'

--

Selene smiled as she saw Alphard enter the kitchen and handed him a glass of wine.

'Perfect timing. Dinner's ready.'

Alphard watched her, feeling the hurt of her betrayal again.

'I refused Dumbledore, by the way,' Selene said quietly.

'Why?' Alphard asked harshly.

Selene laughed.

'You didn't want me to!' she said.

'Is that why?'

Selene sighed and pulled out the roast she had made out of the oven. She set it on the table, and Alphard carved the meat slowly, his hands shaking as he did so.

'What's wrong?' Selene asked gently. 'I thought this is what you wanted?'

Alphard placed the meat on the plates and walked to the other side of the table. He sat rigidly.

'What did you do today?' he asked, trying to sound pleasant.

'I went and saw Malkin,' she said conversationally. 'She wants me to model her new line and she was tailoring the dresses to me. Apparently I'm not as slim as I used to be,' Selene added with a laugh.

Alphard pursed his lips.

'And what did you do?' she asked quietly, thankful that they had both nearly finished their dinner.

'I went and saw an old acquaintance,' Alphard said, not looking up.

'Oh. Do I know him or her?'

Alphard merely shook his head and Selene looked down at her empty plate, feeling hurt washing over her.

She had hoped that the new house would signal a fresh start for them. Now, after a mere month of settling in, they were back to arguing again.

Selene took their plates over to the kitchen and leant over the sink, breathing heavily. She looked at the crème brulee she had made and picked it up and opened the back door and threw it up in the air. She then took out her wand and sent a curse to it, causing it to smash into hundreds of shards.

She clapped a hand over her mouth and gulped down her tears.

'Selene?'

She shivered and ran back into the house. Alphard was waiting by the kitchen door.

Hurriedly, she wiped her eyes.

'I just needed to step out for some air,' she said quietly, looking down at the tiled kitchen floor.

Alphard walked up to her slowly and she flinched as he raised a hand.

He sighed, and brushed her hair out of her face.

'Tell me, are we completely honest with each other?' he murmured.

Selene looked up at Alphard surprised.

'Yes,' she said.

But then she faltered as she realised that she wasn't anywhere close to being completely honest with Alphard.

Alphard inhaled slowly, nodded and turned away.

'I'm… I'm tired, so I think I'll just go to bed now,' Selene said uncertainly.

Alphard paused at the door.

'I'll be up in a minute,' he said coolly.

--

Selene lay in bed tensely. Every second until Alphard came felt like a year.

She knew that something was wrong; an acute sense of impending disaster but had no idea what she was supposed to do to mend the situation.

The door opened slowly, the hinges creaking slightly, and she shut her eyes tightly. He walked slowly through the room, his every step echoing in the silent room.

Selene held her breath as she heard him undressing.

The suspense was torturous.

Slowly, he drew back the covers of the bed, and she shivered involuntarily as she felt the cool air hit her bare back.

The bed sunk slightly as he got into it, and then pulled the covers over them again.

Her heart pounded in her chest as he lay back next to her.

'Are you awake?' he murmured, eventually.

She turned around to face him. His face was shadowed in the darkness.

Slowly, she reached out and touched his cheek gently.

'Why are you so angry?' she whispered. 'I don't understand.'

He stared at her, his eyes tense, before leaning forward and kissing her.

Selene moved back a little, but he pulled her to him more closely.

There was something about the kiss that was highly unsettling- a metallic edge to it. It wasn't loving. It was harsh, as though he was trying to claim her as his possession.

She felt his hands pushing her nightdress up, and it bunched up around her waist.

Selene shut her eyes tightly as she felt his knee nudging her knees apart. Part of her thought that going through with it might fix whatever was wrong between them, but another part of her wanted to leave immediately.

'Spread your legs,' he said.

Her breathing came in shallow gasps now. Despite the fact that they had explored many sexual avenues in Venice, his statement seemed so lewd now that she only wanted to press her legs even more tightly together.

His knee nudged at her thighs and, with a small gasp, she spread her legs. He trailed kisses down her neck and slowly they rolled so that he was on top of her.

Suddenly, he pushed into her and Selene cried out in pain. She had expected him to enter her slowly, but he hadn't. He had entered her fully in the first stroke, and she gasped and dug her nails into his back as he continued to thrust into her just as roughly.

Tears streaked down her cheeks as she waited, praying that he would finish quickly.

Thankfully, he did, collapsing on top of her, breathing heavily.

He then quickly moved off her and lay next to her, his back to her.

Selene chewed her lip as tears continually rolled down her cheeks. She waited, silently crying, until she heard him emit a few faint snores.

She sprung out of bed and tore out the back of the house until she came to the field next door. She sunk to her knees, her shoulders trembling as sobs wracked her body.

'Why?' she whispered through her tears.

She looked up at the sky and saw Selene's full moon.

'Why?' she screamed. 'Circe is my mother. Why doesn't she care about me?'

She gasped, as she was hit with a sudden revelation.

'No one cares about me?' she whispered, her eyes wide.

She lay back on the grass, exhausted, as tears continued to leak out the sides of her eyes.

'Tom, where are you?' she whispered.

She closed her eyes and focussed all her energy on him.

'Tom, I don't know if this will work,' she whispered. 'I shouldn't be telling you this, but he knows that you've murdered people. Dumbledore's onto you, Tom. If you come back here, make sure you're disguised.'

She paused and drew an unsteady breath.

'Please come back. I need you, Tom. Take me away with you. I don't care about right or wrong anymore. I just need you. Please.'

She suddenly felt all her energy was drained, and slumped into the ground, exhausted.

* * *

'T…te lutem,' the peasant pleaded.

His dark hair was matted with blood and sweat, and his black eyes darted around the room, frightened.

Tom laughed coldly.

'Please? No, I don't think so. You're too important to me right now. Of course, I'd prefer to kill someone of more worth than a peasant… but, well, waste not want not.'

Tom paused and smiled ironically.

'Speaking of wasting… _Avada Kedavra._'

The green light flashed, and Tom's eyes widened with horrified fascination as he saw the peasant's life suddenly being drained from him.

He shook his head, amused.

'Please. Ha!' he chuckled to himself as he untied the peasant and levitated his body outside. With a flick of his wand, the body was reduced to dust.

'There,' he said, satisfied. 'Now, onto Horcrux number four.'

--

Tom lay on the floor as he struggled to regain his breathing.

'_Tom, where are you?'_

He sat up suddenly, looking around the room with fright. He was certain that he had heard her voice, very clearly.

'Selene?' he asked raspily, looking around the room.

''Tom, I don't know if this will work,' her voice continued.

Tom gasped again and took out his wand.

'Where are you?'

'I shouldn't be telling you this, but he knows that you've murdered people. Dumbledore's onto you, Tom. If you come back here, make sure you're disguised.'

Tom frowned. If Selene was speaking of his returning, then she must have still been in England.

'But how are you talking to me?' he wondered aloud.

'Please come back. I need you, Tom. Take me away with you. I don't care about right or wrong anymore. I just need you. Please.'

He heard the desperation in her voice, and became very still.

Please.

It was ironic how her 'please' meant so much to him, and yet the peasant's please merely made him laugh.

He picked up his travelling cloak and wand automatically, but then paused as he remembered their last meeting.

He had just created two Horcruxes then, and had lost control. Now that he had just created another, he did not think it wise to see her just yet.

Especially if she had information regarding Dumbledore for him.

Reluctantly, he put his cloak down and sunk into his bed.

He would find her tomorrow.

* * *

**Selene and Alphard had a chance to start over again, and yet they're already back to their old antics. **

**Are they beyond repair?**

_You set me up. You found a way to ask me here, and you set me up.' _Tom to Selene

**Has Selene switched sides so easily? It seems for her that Dumbledore and Tom's sides aren't as distinct as black and white anymore….**

**Now. I have a request. Tomorrow, I turn 20. That's right, the end of my life as a teenager. **

**My request is that each and every one of you reviews this chapter. It would truly be the best birthday send off you could give me.**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	36. Chapter 36: Fair is Foul, Foul is Fair

_**"When they reached Circe's house they found it built of cut stones,**__**on a site that could be seen from far, in the middle of the forest. There**__**were wild mountain wolves and lions prowling all round it- poor bewitched**__**creatures whom she had tamed by her enchantments and drugged into subjection...'**_ - _The Odyssey_, Book X - **Homer

* * *

**

**Fair is foul, and Foul is Fair**

'Where were you?'

Selene froze as she entered through the back door.

'I needed air,' she muttered, going to walk past him.

Alphard suddenly grabbed her wrist and, in a flash, Selene sent him flying into the wall.

Her eyes widened in shock, and she sunk into a chair at the kitchen table, her hands shaking.

'I can't take this, Alphard,' she whispered. 'I thought we were meant to have a fresh start. I thought….'

Tears streaked down her cheeks and she looked up at him as he brushed himself off, shocked.

'I love you so much,' she said tearfully. '_So _much. You're all I have, but sometimes I think you abuse that fact. I don't understand why you've been so horrible to me all evening. What did I do?'

Alphard narrowed his eyes and looked away.

'What did I do!' Selene screamed, standing up suddenly, her chair screeching against the tiled kitchen floor.

She walked up to him and grabbed at his shirt.

'You said you didn't want me to do Dumbledore's mission, and I refused. And now you refuse to look at me. I did what you asked of me. What more do you want from me? What…'

She trailed off and gasped as she tried to stifle her sobs.

Alphard cleared his throat.

'Why did you refuse Dumbledore?'

Selene turned to look at him.

'You told me to!'

'Are you sure?' he said quietly, taking a step closer to her.

Selene swallowed.

'Are you sure it wasn't because you realised that you wanted to protect your Riddle?'

Selene gasped and turned her back to Alphard, more tears streaking her cheeks.

'Alphard, I love you. Why can't you understand that?'

'Because,' he whispered in her ear through gritted teeth, 'I cannot share a woman.'

Selene turned suddenly, her eyes flashing angrily.

'And what about when you visited the whorehouse when you were supposed to be marrying Ariadne?' she spat. 'Wasn't that whore a 'shared' woman?'

Alphard raised a threatening finger.

'I will not be spoken to in such a manner,' he said coldly. 'You should learn your place in this household.'

Selene let out a bark of a laugh.

'My place?' she exclaimed incredulously. 'I'm a better witch than you'll _ever _be a wizard. If anyone should watch places, it's…..'

She gasped as she saw true anger pass over Alphard's features. She took a step back.

'You scare me, Alphard,' she said quietly. 'What have you become? You weren't such a bitter and jealous man when I first met you. You were a gentleman.'

'Well having a lying slut of a…'

'Of a what!' Selene screeched. 'I'm not your wife! As far as everyone else, I _am _a slut for living with you. And it's _your _fault!'

Alphard laughed hollowly.

'It's not my fault that you can't keep your legs together,' he said drily, pouring out a shot of firewhiskey and downing it.

He looked at Selene plainly, as she stared at him, her face white with anger.

'Don't pretend to me you were a virgin when I first fucked you,' he said, pouring out more firewhiskey and chugging it down. 'I could tell.'

Selene blinked, too shocked that he knew to be angry at his language.

'No,' she said, folding her arms. 'I wasn't.'

'Riddle,' Alphard laughed dully, drinking yet another shot.

His glass shattered in his hand, and he shouted and clutched at his eye.

'No,' Selene said tearfully. 'Not Riddle. I didn't even know him. And yet all this never bothered you in Venice, or when we first got back together.'

Alphard continued to clutch at his eye, and Selene knelt tentatively by him and removed his hand. She gasped as she saw that a shard of glass had lodged itself into his sclera.

Quickly, she flicked her wand, and the shard fell out and Alphard's eye healed.

He looked at her, his expression a mixture of anger, hurt and surprise.

Selene rested her forehead against his, her eyes clenched tightly shut.

'Please, Alphard. Please don't do this. I know you're not like this. This isn't you.'

Alphard suddenly grabbed her shoulders tightly, and she opened her eyes, shocked, and saw that he was grimacing, as though struggling.

She pressed her lips against his desperately.

'Please!' she pleaded.

He drew in unsteady breaths.

'I…'

He groaned and buried his head in her chest. Selene blinked back tears as she tangled a hand through his black hair and pulled him closer to her.

He then sat up, and pushed her away. His eyes seemed bloodshot.

'I hate that I can't trust you,' he murmured, getting up.

Selene's shoulders sunk.

'Alphie! Please!'

He merely shook his head and continued to walk out of the room.

* * *

'Oh, hey Alphie,' Malkin said, kissing his cheek. 'I've just come over because Selene was meant to come to my place for a fitting, but she's half an hour late. It's not like her.'

Alphard let Malkin in the house.

'I'm not sure that she's risen for the day. How about I send her over to you soon? She'll need to get dressed and eat breakfast,' he said.

Malkin watched him closely.

'I don't mean to pry, but she's seemed really miserable lately. Is everything okay with you two?'

Alphard forced a smile.

'Of course, why wouldn't' it be?'

Malkin merely shrugged.

'It's not like Selene to get so down… especially not when her life now seems to be so perfect.' walking up the stairs.

Malkin shrugged again.

'Just make sure you take good care of her. She loves you more than anything.'

Alphard looked away and Malkin laughed.

'Ah men. Always so bashful with their feelings. Well, I'm not lying. When you two came back from Venice, all she could say was how amazing you are.'

Alphard swallowed thickly.

'Well… yes, we had a very nice time.'

Malkin shook her head at Alphard and went to the door.

'Well make sure she hurries up. My dresses can't magically fit their selves to her body, you know!'

Alphard shut the door behind Malkin and looked at the staircase uncertainly. Slowly, he walked up the stairs.

He sighed before opening the door to Selene's bedroom, and his breath caught as he saw her, curled in a ball on the side of her bed.

His eyes then fell on the tissues on her bedside table.

She stifled a sob and he shut his eyes tightly.

'Selene?' he asked softly.

She suddenly became very still.

He so desperately he could forget Dumbledore's words- to give her another chance to prove herself.

Slowly, he walked over to the bed and lay down next to her.

'Can I trust you? Can I trust you to tell me the truth about everything?'

Selene said nothing and he sighed and put an arm around her waist, hugging her to him. He leant forward and kissed her cheek, which was moist from her tears.

'I can't help that I love you,' he said, sounding torn. 'I know that I should leave know that the seed of suspicion has been planted, but I can't.'

Selene remained silent and Alphard screwed his eyes tightly shut and sat up, breathing heavily.

'What did I do that was so wrong that you could never love me? At school you constantly blew me off- even when we were meant to be together. You left me high and dry when we were meant to go to Greece… and then now _Riddle_!'

Selene sat up suddenly, her bloodshot eyes flashing with anger and hurt.

'I love you,' she said hoarsely. '_You_! But you've turned into this horrible, jealous man who _hits_ me… and I don't know if it's you anymore. I feel that I _can't _love you because I don't know when you'll turn on me next and start spinning stories of how I never loved you!'

'That would be convenient, wouldn't it?' Alphard said darkly. 'You 'can't love me' now.'

Selene turned away and stifled her sob in the pillow. Alphard watched her, feeling torn.

'You cry, but isn't this what you want?' he said bitterly. 'Don't you _want_ a reason to leave me. Again?'

Selene suddenly became very still.

'I. Love. You,' she said, her voice shaking with anger. 'But I can't see how you might love me, if this is how you treat me. You wouldn't treat an animal as horribly as you do me.'

Alphard put his face in his hands.

'I'm so confused,' he murmured.

Slowly, Selene turned to face him.

'It's not confusing. You either know that you love me, or you don't.'

He looked down at her looking up at him.

'I feel as though everything we've ever had has been a lie,' he said quietly.

Selene shook her head.

'How can you say that? What was Venice? Was that a lie?'

Alphard's features softened.

'No,' he whispered. 'That was beautiful.'

Slowly, Selene sat up, looking at him hopefully.

'It was the happiest time of my life,' she said earnestly. 'And it was very real.'

Alphard brushed her cheek lightly with the back of his hand, and Selene sighed.

'Or maybe we were both escaping something.'

Selene's eyes suddenly flew open and she looked at Alphard uncertainly- had he found out the truth about her last meeting with Tom?

'That doesn't mean our time there wasn't real,' she said sadly.

Alphard kissed her softly, and she grabbed his wrists tightly. He rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily.

'Let's go back there,' he pressed. 'England will kill us. It's no life here- the people, the weather… this house, even! Let's just go there- forget about everything- and start afresh. We'll never mention the past and…'

Selene took a sharp intake of breath. The concept seemed so appealing.

He kissed her desperately.

'Say yes,' he murmured against her lips.

'I want to,' Selene sighed.

'But what?'

She hesitated.

'We said all that when we moved in here. We said it would be a fresh start, but we ended up going back and worse. What if the same happens in Venice?'

Alphard shook his head.

'It won't. It won't.'

Selene looked at him hopefully.

'Then let's go.'

A broad, relieved smile spread across Alphard's face.

'Thank you!' he said, kissing her sweetly. 'Thank you.'

Selene laughed and happy tears streaked down her cheeks.

'How long will we be gone?'

'For good!' Alphard exclaimed. 'We have nothing here that we can't have in Venice.'

Selene chewed her lip uncertainly.

'Alphie, I don't think we can be gone forever,' she said uncertainly.

'Why not?' he said. 'We can get married there, and…'

Selene stared at him.

'Married?' she whispered.

'Whatever you like,' he said impatiently. 'Please just say we'll do this! I can't stand this country and what it's doing to us.'

Selene smiled broadly and hugged him tightly.

'Yes,' she said, feeling happy for the first time in days. 'Yes, we'll go for good.'

* * *

'What do you mean, you're leaving? Who will model for me?'

Selene shrugged.

'I'm sure you can visit me over there.'

'And why can't you visit me here?'

Selene hesitated, and Malkin pursed her lips.

'What's going on, Selene,' she said flatly. 'When I was at your place, he wouldn't let me see you and now you're suddenly packing off to Venice again- and you're acting as though you can't return to England. Is he ordering you around? I can't imagine that you'd let him.'

Selene's cheeks turned scarlet.

'No,' she lied, looking down at the table. 'It's…. we're getting married.'

'You're pregnant?'

Selene's gaze snapped up.

'No, of course not!' she said indignantly. 'Why do you say that?'

'Why else would you suddenly leave the country to get married?'

Selene sighed.

'We worked really well in Venice. It was amazing how perfect life was over there. As soon as we returned here, all we've been doing is fighting.'

'So you think that, by going back to Venice, you're going to escape the issues you two have?'

'But we're getting married,' Selene said.

'Oh yes. Tell me about that. How did he ask you?'

Selene's cheeks burned.

'He sort of just mentioned it.'

Malkin's eyes widened incredulously.

'What do you mean by 'he sort of just mentioned it'. Did he ask you properly?'

'Well, not exactly… but we've discussed marriage before so he didn't need to…'

Malkin said nothing, and Selene stood up, frowning.

'Why can't you just be happy for me? Why can't you ever just be happy for me? I came back from Venice for you. Otherwise, we'd still be there. Now that you're better, surely I'm free to go back? I'm not the _only _person who can model for you.'

Malkin stared at Selene, shocked.

'So you're saying that we're never going to see each other, unless I relapse again?' she said coldly.

Selene's shoulders sunk.

'No, but… it's time I sorted my own problems out now. And, by going to Venice again with Alphard, I'll be able to do that.'

Malkin, however, did not look convinced.

'A different country won't fix your problems, Selene,' she said gently.

'Why not!' Selene said, walking to the door angrily. 'It worked for you when you needed to go to rehab the first time.'

'Selene…' Malkin said, following her hopelessly.

'No,' Selene said angrily, her eyes flashing. 'It's always been me catering to you. Whenever you're happy, you want me to do whatever you say, and whenever you're unhappy, I have to suffer with you. Well, I've had enough. It's time I looked after myself now.'

'Selene, listen. You're…'

But Selene merely shook her and shut the door behind her angrily.

* * *

'Didn't she just see you?'

'Is she here?' Malkin pressed.

'No, she isn't,' Alphard said, crossing her arms. 'She said she was going to see you, why are you here?'

'Because she's making a mistake. You can't go to Venice.'

Alphard crossed his arms.

'We can, and we will.'

'You love things going your own way, don't you,' Malkin leered. 'But when things start going sour, you either leave or things turn ugly.'

'I don't think you're in a position to tell me what to do,' Alphard said snidely. 'As far as I'm concerned, you were just casual sex.'

Malkin straightened up and narrowed her eyes.

'Careful, Alphard,' she warned. 'Selene may be an orphan and mesmerised by your world, but I'm from it. You don't get to play the high and mighty chauvinistic wanker with me.'

'Get off my front porch.'

'Why are you taking her away,' Malkin hissed, grabbing a fistful of his shirt.

Alphard looked around, and then pulled Malkin in the house, shutting the door behind her immediately.

'What…'

'Sit.'

Malkin sat abruptly on the couch, and Alphard summoned a bottle of wine and handed her a glass.

'Do you even love her?' she breathed, not accepting the glass.

'Yes,' he sighed. 'Just… here.'

Malkin took the glass reluctantly.

'You better have a good excuse for this,' she said warily, sipping the wine.

'I do. Listen, do you remember Riddle?'

Malkin's eyebrows furrowed.

'Riddle? What has he got to do with anything?'

Alphard took a sip of wine and grimaced.

'Tell this, honestly. Did you never see anything strange in the nature of their relationship?'

The colour drained from Malkin's face and she looked away quickly.

Alphard smiled bitterly.

'And I was so foolish to turn a blind eye when we were at school,' he sighed.

Malkin placed her hand on his, and he looked up, surprised.

'I don't understand her fixation with Riddle,' she said softly, 'But I do know that she loves you.'

Alphard drew a deep breath and looked away, withdrawing his hand from hers.

'Well, that may be, but the bottom line of it is that Dumbledore believes that Riddle is murdering people. I don't want Selene getting caught up in all that.'

Malkin's eyes widened.

'Murder? I always knew he was bad, but… murder?'

Alphard nodded gravely.

'Yes. So you can understand why I want to keep her away from here, where he'll be sure to find her.'

Malkin swallowed thickly.

'I… I don't like how you're controlling her in this manner, but I have to agree. Riddle is toxic for her.'

She sighed and rubbed her eyes tiredly.

'So even though I probably shouldn't, I know this is what's best for Selene.'

She paused and looked up at Alphard earnestly.

'Look after her for me.'

* * *

Selene walked through the back door, feeling miserable. She hated that she and Malkin were parting on such a bad note.

She walked through the house sadly. Just as she was toying with the notion of going back to Malkin's to apologise, she heard two voices.

'I… I don't like how you're controlling her in this manner, but I have to agree. Riddle is toxic for her.'

Selene felt the blood draining from her face as she watched Malkin and Alphard's conversation. She couldn't believe that the two most important people in her life were plotting about her.

Feeling hurt tears stinging her eyes, she tore out of the hallway, and out the back door again for the nearby forest.

'Selene!'

She heard Alphard's voice calling after her, but continued to run until she reached the lake.

'Selene!'

She turned around, her hair whipping in the wind, and gasped as she jumped in the lake and waded across the water to the other side.

'Selene!'

She quickly hoisted herself out of the water, shivering, and continued to run across the forest, her wet clothes sticking to her.

'Tom,' she thought, screwing her eyes tightly shut as she ran. 'Please, I need you to take me away. I don't care about right or wrong anymore. Those who I thought were right are wrong… nothing makes sense. Please, Tom…'

She gasped as a cloaked figure suddenly stepped out behind a tree, and quickly waved her hand, producing a ball of light.

She gave a strangled sob as she saw Tom, looking handsomer than ever. His dark hair was now shoulder-length, and his dark eyes shone out in the dark night.

'You had better have an excellent reason for calling me out here,' he said grimly.

Selene stopped suddenly and stared up at his face. Then, suddenly she pulled him to her and kissed him. She couldn't help sighing in relief as he pulled her to him, pressing her against the tree.

'Take me with you,' she whispered against his lips as she felt his hand pushing her skirt up. 'Take me with you.'

'What about your Black?'

'I want to leave them all. Take me with you, Tom.'

'Voldemort.'

'My Lord,' she smirked against his lips, sighing as he

He broke away from her lips, breathing heavily.

'Why the change in heart? Don't you remember what I've done?'

Selene shook her head.

'I don't care. At least I'll always know that I can trust you to be you.'

Tom rested his forehead against hers.

'But you won't be a part of this. I can't have you murdering for me.'

Selene's shoulders sunk.

'Does that matter? I'll keep house for you. Surely you need someone to…'

'I never need anyone,' Tom interrupted sharply.

Selene took a sharp intake of breath.

'Please,' she whispered, kissing him desperately. 'Just take me away. I won't bother you. But I can't be here. Dumbledore's looking for you and he keeps trying to get me to rat out on you.'

'I can't,' he said. 'You're a mudblood.'

Selene leant back against the tree, and looked up at him, unsure.

'I'm….'

'Selene!'

Suddenly, Tom pushed Selene away.

'What is Black doing here?' he hissed.

'I…'

'Did you bring me here to hand me in to Dumbledore?' he spat.

'No, Tom, I…'

'You set me up. You found a way to ask me here, and you set me up. Don't ever contact me again.'

'Tom, please!'

She pulled her to him desperately, but he pushed her away roughly.

'Selene!'

They stared at each other and Selene felt her heart dropping as she saw the betrayed look in his eyes. In an instant, he had disapparated.

'Selene!'

Selene turned around slowly to see Alphard standing behind her, panting.

'What on _earth_ are you doing here?' he demanded.

Selene merely stared at him, tears slowly sliding down her cheeks.

He walked up to her, and suddenly an ugly expression passed across his features.

'Why is your dress ripped?' he insisted, tugging at the torn strap, exposing her breast.

Selene shook her head silently.

'You met someone, didn't you? Was it Riddle?'

Selene laughed hollowly, and kissed Alphard softly.

'I will _never_ go to Venice with you,' she whispered venomously. '_Ever.'_

And, suddenly, she was gone.

* * *

**I am SO sorry for the wait. You must all now learn to be very patient with me as I'm studying in hospital now and have ridiculously long hours, heaps of study, and next to no free time for writing. Any writing I do comes out of my sleep- which is already unhealthily little as it is.**

'_I'm going to tell you the truth about me. The whole truth. It's time.' _– Selene

**And, now, I have a HUGE thank you for all 68 of you who reviewed the last chapter. This year, I was a very happy birthday girl because I received many wonderful presents, but none beat the amazing review love I was bombarded with. **

**I am really extremely thankful to each and every one of you who reviewed.**

**Now, can I be greedy and ask that- now that you've all done it once (or more than once, if you are a loyal reviewer) you continue to do so for this chapter? I'm trying to be positive now that I'm no longer an angsty teenager, but my life is so busy at the moment that it's quite hard. Give me some review love to make my day :)**

**Lots of love,**

**Anya**


	37. Chapter 37: That Dear Perfection

**What's in a name? that which we call a rose**  
**By any other name would smell as sweet;**  
**So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,**  
**Retain that dear perfection which he owes**

**- **'Romeo & Juliet'**, W. Shakespeare

* * *

**

**That Dear Perfection**

Tom arrived at the hut in a rage.

'Tom, listen to me….'

He picked up a glass and threw it at the mirror on the opposite wall, causing it to smash into hundreds of shards.

'Shut up!' he shouted, covering his ears. 'You're Dumbledore's whore. You leave me alone!'

'Tom, listen to me…'

'No, you listen to me,' he shouted. 'The next time we meet again, I'm going to kill you. Make no mistake, mudblood, I will. '

'Tom, don't…'

'Get OUT of my head!'

He paused as he felt the throbbing sensation inside his head suddenly vanish, and sunk into an armchair.

'You see, Voldemort,' he whispered to himself. 'This is what women are. This is what _mudbloods_ do.'

His shaking hands clenched into fists and, suddenly, the windows of his cabin shattered. He shivered as a gust of the cool Albanian wind swept through the cabin and went over to one of the broken windows and leant over it.

He closed his eyes as he felt the broken glass sinking through the palm of his hands.

Slowly, a sardonic smile spread to his lips and he felt the pain shooting through his arms.

'Purify yourself with pain,' he murmured to himself. 'It's the only real feeling. Anything else which those mere mortals profess to feel is false.'

Slowly, he lifted his hands from the broken ledge and felt the air stinging at the wounds of his hands.

He laughed as the pain built up in its intensity.

'You think I'm as weak as Samson, Selene? I am no mere mortal. No amount of seduction will ever tempt me to yield to you.'

He laughed again.

'You've gone too far, mudblood. Too far indeed.'

* * *

Selene stared lifelessly back at her reflection in the mirror as the makeup artist painted her lips with red lipstick.

She looked perfect. It was as though her skin has been carved out of flawless ivory. Her eyes, fringed with long, dark lashes, shone out like brilliant hazel gemstones, and her lips and cheeks were tinted rouge.

Her hair came down to her waist, like a river of molten chocolate.

'Perfect,' the stylist said, smiling with satisfaction.

Selene stood up, and the stylist took the protective cloak off Selene, marveling at at the finished product.

Selene was wearing the jewel of Malkin's collection. It was a heavy black velvet gown, embroidered with thin gold and topaz jewels across the bodice.

'Oh, very good. Lilac, you are a _genius! _That's the precise look I wanted for this dress…'

Selene merely stood there as Malkin fluttered about her.

'Yes, yes, excellent. If this doesn't get me into Vogue Witch, I don't know what will. Okay, come with me Selene.'

Selene's lips twitched into a rueful smile. Ever since she had started modeling for Malkin four years ago, she had felt as though that's all she was just that- a model, a mannequin with no thoughts of her own.

A mere walking piece of art.

The money had been excellent. She had admirers and had been the date of many of the wizarding elite who wanted a trophy girl on their arm for the evening.

But she felt more empty than she ever had. She felt as though she had no personality any more. No goals.

Her only aim in life for the past four years, had been to look pretty. And, for that, she needed to have a clear mind.

She couldn't even recall the last time she had exercised her wandless magic, or even used her wand- which now sat in its silver case, gathering dust.

She had no use for magic. She wasn't allowed to floo or apparate in case it distorted her clothes or hair, so she was driven everywhere. She never did her own hair or makeup, because she had professionals who did it for her. She never cleaned her apartment, because she had a cleaning maid.

And she never cooked, because she only ate what her dietician cooked for her in accordance with her very strict diet.

'Right, Selene, in the car please,' Malkin said, ushering Selene in the back seat.

Selene complied, and sat in the back seat. Malkin slid in next to her, followed by Florean.

'I'm so excited,' Malkin chatted animatedly. 'You're going to be the Belle of the Valentine's Ball. Oh, how brilliant! If you don't make the cover of Vogue…'

'And how are you, Selene?' Florean said, shooting an apprehensive look at Malkin as she continued to mutter about the Ball.

Selene blinked, confused.

'What do you mean?'

Florean smiled incredulously.

'I mean- how are you? You seem so busy with everything my wife schedules for you that I sometimes wonder if you have a life outside it. How is your life going?'

Selene frowned.

'No! Not that face…. Impassive. Yes, that's right,' Malkin cried. 'You! Don't talk to Selene. She can't have a thinking face, it'll ruin the charm of the dress.'

Florean pursed his lips, and Selene shrugged and sat back in the leather seat, closing her eyes.

'Don't close your eyes. You'll ruin the makeup.'

Sighing patiently, Selene opened her eyes and returned to staring lifelessly out of the window.

'Perfect.'

* * *

'Miss Asteria, would you do me the honour of accompanying me for a drink after the ball?'

Selene looked dully at the squat, graying man.

'I'm afraid that won't be possible. She is otherwise engaged.'

The man threw Florean an annoyed look and, with a curt nod, walked off.

'Thanks,' Selene said quietly. 'I didn't want to go for a drink with him.'

'Couldn't you have refused him yourself? I never see you refuse anyone.'

Selene shrugged again, and sipped on her champagne.

'Who am I to refuse such powerful people?'

Florean touched her arm.

'Selene, you're the most celebrated model of the wizarding world. You most certainly have every right to choose who you go out with. I don't think you realise just how successful you are!'

'It's all Malkin's success. I'm a mere clotheshanger.'

Florean ran a hand through his hair.

'Let's go for a walk.'

'But…'

'We need to talk. Come on, the ball won't miss you're gone for ten minutes.'

'Malkin…'

'Is busy sucking up to all the magazine editors. Let's go.'

Selene bit her lip, but allowed herself to be steered out of the ballroom by Florean.

'Ah, that's better,' he said as they stepped out into the icy winter air. 'Fresh air.'

Selene shivered and Florean put his cloak around her shoulders.

'I don't like the way you're being treated,' he said seriously. 'Malkin's my wife, and Merlin knows I love her more than anything, but what's happening is wrong.'

Selene shook her head.

'Florean, I don't want to have this conversation. I'm fine with my life.'

'Well I'm not.'

Selene blinked, taken aback.

'Excuse me? I'm not sure that it's up to you…'

'If I don't say anything, no one will. Malkin is happy because she's on top of the world at the moment. Everything's going perfectly for her. She has her parent's approval, the entire wizarding world is salivating over her designs… she's achieved what she's always dreamed of achieving.'

'Shouldn't you be happy about that?'

'Of course I am. I'm very proud of her. What I don't like, however, is what's become of you.'

'I'm perfect. As you said, I'm the world's most celebrated model.'

Florean fell silent.

'You used to want more from life.'

'I used to be naïve.'

'Ever since you broke up with Alphard four years ago, you've become withdrawn.'

'As I said, I was naïve before. Now, I'm realistic.'

Florean shook his head.

'You've always been realistic, Selene.'

Selene forced a tight smile.

'I have to get back to the ball.'

'Wait.'

Selene paused and looked up at Florean.

'Is there any part of the Selene Asteria I once knew left in you?'

Selene stared at Florean. She felt her eyes stinging, and wanted very much to be strong as she had been for the past four years, but felt her resolve crumbling as she looked into his eyes.

It was the first time in so long that anyone had shown any concern for her wellbeing.

She screwed her eyes tightly shut and sunk onto a nearby bench, her breathing coming in rasping gasps.

'I… I…'

She put her face in her hands.

'I feel so alone,' she whispered.

Florean nodded, and sat next to her on the bench.

'I know, Selene.'

'I would have gone for that drink with that man. I probably would have spent the night with him as well.'

'Selene, you're better than that.'

Selene shook her head hopelessly.

'I don't feel better than that,' she said. 'No one _treats_ me better than that, and the only men who ever invite me out are those old, rich ones. I never even _meet_ anyone my own age.'

'That just means that you have to get out there more,' Florean said gently.

Selene snorted.

'When? What free time do I have, to 'get out there more'? The only time I ever go out is to stupid balls like this- and then there are only rich old men.'

'Maybe you should demand some time-off?'

Selene laughed drily.

'This isn't a job, Florean. This is a way of life. There's no such thing as 'time-off'.'

Florean frowned.

'So that's it? You're choosing this unhappy 'way of life' over possibly meeting someone and having a meaningful relationship?'

Selene considered his statement.

'Yes.'

'You're being stupid.'

'Am I?' Selene said, turning on Florean angrily. 'When I tried having a 'meaningful relationship' with Alphard, it all turned sour. He was constantly jealous, and was always hurting me. Sometimes physically.'

Florean shook his head.

'You shouldn't let one bad relationship put you off relationships in general.'

'Well it has. I've seen enough of men to know that no one would ever be good to me.'

Florean blinked.

'And would you include me in this?' he said tartly.

Selene sighed.

'Florean, they broke the mould when they made you. I'm never going to find anyone like you.'

'Of course you won't if you don't try.'

Selene shrugged and Florean toyed with a button on his jacket.

'Just think about it,' he said, getting up and offering her his arm.

Selene nodded and took his arm. She paused before they began walking.

'Thank you,' she said quietly. 'For caring.'

Florean nodded seriously.

'I know you feel alone, Selene, but I do care about you,' he said gently. 'So does Malkin, even if she's too busy to show it most of the time.'

Selene nodded.

'I know you both do. Thank you.'

Florean smiled at her and they both made their way slowly back to the ball.

'Selene! Selene!'

Selene smiled ruefully.

'Told you she'd notice,' she murmured.

Florean nodded.

'I knew she would. But some things are a bit more important.'

Selene smiled and kissed Florean on the cheek before hoisting up the train of her dress and running back into the ballroom.

'There you are! Where have you been? And _what_, in Circe's name, have you done to your makeup? You better not have run off for some hanky panky and ruined this dress.'

'Relax, I just went for a walk,' Selene said incredulously.

Malkin suddenly froze.

'Oh Merlin…. Don't turn around, whatever you do.'

'What?'

'Don't… you'll probably burst into tears or get angry if you turn around. Not something you want to do. Just come this way…'

Selene frowned, and wrenched her arm free of Malkin's grip as she turned around.

She suddenly became engulfed in silence. All she could hear was the sound of her heart, pounding in her ears, as she stared at him from across the room.

'Come on…' Malkin said through gritted teeth.

He glanced up at her and Selene felt her heart beating erratically.

'You're over him. Come on,' Malkin hissed.

He excused himself, and began walking over to them.

'You are _not _to cause a scene here,' Malkin said threateningly. 'Let me do the talking.'

'Good evening,' he said formally, nodding to both Selene and Malkin.

'And to you. Now, if you excuse us, we have to meet very important people…'

'I'd like to speak with Selene, if you don't mind,' he said, a steely note in his tone.

'Well she doesn't wish to speak with you,' Malkin said venomously. 'She's much better than the likes of you, Black.'

Alphard raised his eyebrows.

'You like to think you're so much better than me, Malkin, don't you?'

'She is,' Selene said, suddenly finding her voice. 'She's done something with her life. She's achieved more than anyone in our year has achieved.'

'Judging by the tabloids, I'd say you're right up there with Malkin,' Alphard said coolly. 'Apparently you've been bedded by the Minister of Russia. _Impressive._'

Selene blinked. What was worse, was that it was true.

'I can't say that it's been nice to see you again, Alphard,' she said quietly. 'Excuse me.'

She walked out of the ballroom again, feeling her hands shaking. On many lonely nights, she had thought out how a potential meeting would have gone with Alphard, and none of the scenarios had involved her being mute and spineless.

In her scenarios, she had been poised, witty, and sharp. In reality, she had confirmed that she was the loose woman the tabloids had made her out to be.

'Selene! You can't leave!'

Selene turned to look at Malkin, who bit her lip as she took in Selene's appearance. She had mascara streaking down her cheeks and her eyes were bloodshot with tears.

'Go home. Do you want me to see you home?'

Selene shook her head.

'No, stay. You need to… were enough photos of me taken?'

'Don't worry,' Malkin said gently. 'You're already on the cover of Vogue, and many other magazines. You rest up. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?'

Selene bit her lip.

'I want tomorrow off.'

Malkin faltered.

'Off? What do you mean?'

'I want a day to myself. I haven't had one in four years,' Selene said simply.

Malkin looked taken aback.

'I… well, what about the shoot with Pallado?'

'Get your assistant to reschedule it,' Selene said. 'I want tomorrow off.'

'Selene, I get that you're upset about seeing Alphard, but…'

'This has nothing to do with Alphard,' Selene said. 'It's about me realising that I'm going to crack unless I take a break. While we're on the topic, I'd like to take a holiday during September.'

'H…holiday?'

'Yes.'

Malkin looked as though she'd been slapped.

'Okay, you know what?' she said hastily. 'Take tomorrow off. You need it. We'll discuss everything else after then. Okay?'

Selene could tell that Malkin wanted to stop her requests from becoming even more demanding.

'See you on Monday,' Selene said as she walked back out into the icy air.

'Madame,' her driver said, opening the door for her.

Selene shook her head.

'I'd like to walk, tonight,' she said. 'Go home to your family. It's not too late to catch dinner with them.'

The driver looked surprised.

'Are you sure, Miss? It's awful dark and cold.'

Selene smiled.

'Yes, I'm sure. Go on.'

He hesitated.

'I'll catch a cab if I get too cold. You deserve a break.'

He smiled and Selene felt her heart warming to see how relieved the man looked.

'What's your name, by the way? You've driven me for four years, and yet I don't know your name?'

'Frank, Miss,' he said.

Selene smiled.

'Selene,' she said. 'Please call me that from now on.'

'Yes, Miss… Selene,' he added hastily.

Selene laughed.

'Good evening, Frank. I won't be needing your services tomorrow, either. Spend a Sunday with your family.'

Frank spluttered and Selene waved as she began walking down the street. Her bare skin felt numb in the biting cold, and Selene liked it that way. It helped numb the memory of meeting Alphard again.

She was suddenly engulfed with the feeling of warmth, and realised that someone had put a cloak around her shoulders. She jumped from shock when she saw Alphard walking beside her.

'It's cold,' he said gruffly. 'You shouldn't walk outside with nothing on. You'll catch pneumonia.'

Selene regarded him, uncertain of his motives.

'I'm sure that would disappoint you greatly,' she said sarcastically.

Alphard winced.

'I didn't want us to meet again like that. It's Malkin- she ticked me off.'

'Malkin's my friend,' Selene said stoutly.

'I know, I know. I'm sorry.'

'I've heard _that _line before,' Selene muttered under her breath as they continued to walk.

Alphard said nothing and they walked in silence for a while.

'Things were really very bad between us, weren't they?' he commented.

Selene said nothing as she felt the old familiar pain of longing coming over her.

'In the end,' Alphard continued. 'To begin with, it was wonderful. You have no idea how often I wish we could have stayed in Venice, as we were, forever.'

Selene closed her eyes.

'I think I do,' she said quietly.

'Are you… are you seeing anyone at the moment?'

'What do the tabloids say?' Selene asked bitterly.

Alphard sighed.

'I'm sorry for that comment. It was out of line. Of course you would never do anything with that fat, old Russian…'

Selene pinched the bridge of her nose.

'I did,' she said through gritted teeth.

Alphard stopped in his tracks.

'You… what?' he said, aghast.

'I did spend the night with him. I… most of what you've read is true.'

Alphard blinked, as though he had been slapped.

'It's… true?'

Selene nodded.

'Yes,' she whispered, mortified.

'The Japanese broom manufacturer?'

Selene chewed her lip.

'The Italian restaurant entrepreneur?'

Selene said nothing, and Alphard rubbed his forehead.

'Wow… you have changed.'

Selene shrugged.

'I don't need to hear your comments on my lifestyle,' she said archly. 'I really don't care what you think of me, Alphard.'

He frowned.

'Did you find it so easy to…. Move on?'

Selene shrugged.

'I had to. My job is very demanding. I really didn't have much time to think over what became of us.'

Alphard nodded ruefully.

'Well I had a lot of time to think over it.'

'How you were such a jealous and controlling lunatic?' Selene offered.

Alphard crossed his arms.

'Well I had good reason to be jealous, didn't I? You _are _celebrated as the wizarding world's most beautiful woman.'

'But that's just it, Alphie,' Selene said, frustrated. 'I was that, but I loved _you._ You had no reason to be jealous.'

'We both know that you had loyalties to another,' he said quietly.

Selene bowed her head, and then looked up at him.

'There is some truth in that,' she admitted. 'But it was never the kind that you thought. I wasn't ever going to be the Delilah and betray him for Dumbledore, but I was never going to marry him and have a family with him. I cared for his wellbeing, but that was it. And yet you refused to believe me.'

'You met him. That night, in the woods.'

'Yes.'

Alphard blinked, surprised at her honesty.

Selene tugged at her hair.

'But you don't understand that you drove me to desperation, Alphie! If you had continued treating me as you had in Venice- without the jealousy, without the questioning and possessiveness- that I would never have even _thought_ of contacting him. But you didn't.'

Selene paused.

'I wasn't right, necessarily. My main motive in meeting him was to tell him that Dumbledore was after him. But I was also lonely. You had tried to turn Malkin against me, and I had no where else to go.'

Alphard sat on the path and put his head in his hands.

'It was all my fault.'

Selene sat down next to him.

'It was partly my fault. I had my secrets too.'

Alphard looked at her.

'Ariadne met her former lover that night he killed her. Riddle could kill you too, and yet, like Ada, I know you trusted him not to. '

He sighed.

'So he could have killed you, and that made me paranoid. Not only that, but I know I could never match his powers to save you.'

He laughed bitterly.

'But it wasn't that. The main thing was that I didn't want to lose you, as I had Ada, to another former lover- or, in your case, former loyalty. I hated that you would still run to him in the blink of an eye if he asked you, and leave me. I hated that your loyalties never were with me.'

Selene swallowed thickly.

'There's some truth in that,' she admitted quietly. 'But you never showed me that you were fully committed to being with me, either.'

Alphard shook his head hopelessly.

'I blew it.'

Selene nodded.

'We both did. We were toxic to each other, in the end. We were both miserable.'

Alphard took the rose buttonhole from his lapel and began picking the petals off it.

'Have you seen him since then?' he asked quietly.

Selene shook her head.

'No. When he heard you coming, he thought that I had set him up.'

Alphard nodded, and tossed the petal-less flower stem on the ground. Selene picked it up and looked at it.

She smiled sadly.

'I think this flower resembles me. Picked at, then tossed. Without its petals, it doesn't look quite so pretty, does it?'

Alphard turned to face Selene, and raised a hand and cupped her cheek. Selene closed her eyes, her breath catching at his touch.

'It feels empty,' she whispered.

'I know. Let's start again, one last time. We'll make it good, this time, I promise.'

Selene slowly looked up into his grey eyes.

'I promise too,' she whispered.

He stared into her eyes and, slowly, Selene leant forward and kissed him softly, before resting her head against his chest.

Alphard put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

'It's much warmer now,' she murmured.

'And my arms don't feel quite so empty anymore,' he commented.

Selene smiled against his chest.

'Let's just stay here,' she whispered.

'We have all night.'

* * *

Selene smiled as she woke up to find herself in Alphard's arms. For the first time in four years, she felt happy and light-hearted.

She felt like she used to be- before anything had ever happened with Alphard or Tom.

She prised herself out of Alphard's arms and went to the bathroom. As she washed her hands, she remembered her secret. The one that even _she _had forgotten about over the years.

But now that she had thought about it, it was very hard to forget it again. If she was to start again with Alphard properly, she had to tell him the truth about her. The whole truth.

She tiptoed back across the bedroom and got into bed again. In his sleep, Alphard pulled her to him and nestled his head against her chest.

Selene twirled a lock of his black hair between her fingers.

'I'm going to tell you the truth about me. The whole truth. It's time.'

He muttered something non-descript in his sleep, and pulled her closer to him.

Selene sighed.

'Another time, perhaps,' she whispered, kissing the top of his head and closing her eyes.

She felt herself relaxing as she felt the warmth of his body against hers.  
They would have plenty of time to find out details about their histories.

For now, she simply wanted to savour the fact that she had finally found happiness again.

* * *

**I am so terribly sorry for the wait for this chapter. I wasn't joking when I said that my life was becoming hectic with hospital starting. I have next to no time to schedule work, let alone do the things I love and take very seriously- like music and writing. Or study, for that matter.**

_Tom's eyes lit up as he saw the Hogwarts advertisement. It was time to go home._

**So now that Selene is resetting her life, it might be complicated again by the fact that Tom's returning for a job application…**

**Please show me you haven't abandoned me by giving me some reviews!**

**Love, Anya**

**p.s. Has anyone been watching the Olympics? We have a tv in our common room at hospital and I've officially fallen in love with Johnny Weir, and his skating. Such a wonderfully eccentric artist!**


	38. Chapter 38: No Disgrace Shall Fall You

_**Ah, dear, if I be so,**_

_**From my cold heart let heaven engender hail,**_

_**And poison it in the source; and the first stone**_

_**Drop in my neck: as it determines, so**_

_**Dissolve my life!**_

**- **'Antony & Cleopatra'**, W. Shakespeare

* * *

**

**No Disgrace Shall Fall You For Refusing Him**

'No, no, no! It's all wrong. Selene, what's happened to your face?'

Selene frowned.

'I beg your pardon?'

The photographer went up to her, looking cross.

'You're smiling.'

Selene laughed.

'So? Is that a bad thing? Would it be so terrible for the label if its model looks like she's enjoying wearing her clothes?'

The photographer's eyes seemed to pop out of their sockets.

'You!' he whispered faintly. 'Do as I say. Understood?'

Selene crossed her arms.

'No,' she said coldly. 'I don't appreciate the way you're speaking to me. I will have you know that I achieved more NEWTs than you dream of passing. All with exceptional grades.'

'Okay, honey,' the photographer said disinterestedly. 'But the point of the matter is that you're the model, and I'm responsible for fixing you to achieve the vision that the designer and I have come up with.'

'Is there a problem?'

They both turned to see Malkin approaching, coffee in hand.

'Yes,' Selene said, annoyed. 'I don't like the way I'm being spoken to.'

Malkin frowned.

'What do you mean?'

'Jacques keeps ordering me around. I'd like him to speak to me more respectfully.'

Jacques tugged at his hair.

'Madame Malkin, I mean no disrespect, but we are on a tight schedule!' he said exasperatedly. 'There is no time for 'pleases', and 'thank-you'!'

Malkin sighed.

'Selene, you've worked with Jacques for a year now. Surely he can't suddenly be horrible.'

'No, he's always been horrid. And I won't take it anymore.'

Malkin rubbed her forehead.

'Okay. Right, so what do you want me to do about it?' she said in a strained tone.

Selene threw up her arms.

'I don't know. If you don't think that, as your friend- and I'll add that I've been a most loyal one—I don't deserve better, then I don't want to work for you anymore.'

Malkin blinked.

'S…sorry?'

Selene nodded.

'That's right. You can find a skinnier, 'less-smiley' model who would suit your label so much better. I'm done with the diets, the ridiculous schedules, and the token galas, balls and charity events. I'm done with being depressed.'

Malkin cleared her throat and pulled Selene aside.

'Is this about the holiday?' she whispered.

Selene laughed harshly.

'If you can't see that it's about so much more,' she said coldly, 'then you really have become one of the most selfish people I know.'

Malkin licked her lips quickly.

'Look, I think you're just… confused, at the moment. How about you take the rest of the day off, and I'll come over to yours later this evening and we'll discuss this?'

Selene shook her head.

'Sorry, I can't. I have a dinner to attend this evening.'

'What dinner? We haven't scheduled….'

'A personal dinner, Malkin,' Selene said crossly. 'Because I now have a life outside of being your live mannequin.'

Malkin narrowed her eyes.

'You know that apartment of yours in Mayfair doesn't pay for itself,' she said coldly.

Selene laughed as she took out the jewels in her hair and tossed them on the makeup stand. They clanged loudly as they hit the metal stand.

'I don't need that apartment. I don't need _any _of this, and never did!'

Malkin raised an eyebrow.

'Because you were _so happy_ working as the office slut in the Auror department?'

Selene stared at Malkin for a moment.

'Better an office whore, than international one.'

'You know, Selene,' Malkin said, rubbing her temples in her frustration. 'I only asked that you turn up to work and get the shots.'

'And all those balls?' Selene shot acidly.

'Optional- but were also a way of me getting you out of your apartment. I never _told you_ to sleep with all those men. You did _that _on your own volition.'

Selene shrugged nonchalantly.

'Look, Malkin, I'm not going to leave you in a lurch. I…'

She rubbed her eyes tiredly.

'I value our friendship too much for that. I just… I'm done with this, you know? It's time I got married, had a family… and realised my proper potential. I can't do that as your star model. You understand that, don't you?'

Malkin chewed her lip, but then nodded reluctantly.

'Okay, I get it.'

'So when would it be best for you, for me to quit?'

Malkin ran a hand through her hair, her face becoming pale with stress.

'Just… give me at least a week. I need to find someone else…'

Selene sunk into a chair.

'You should just give it to Natalia. It's her dream to become a model. She's copied me in any way she can, and she's stunning. You know she wants this more than anything.'

'But Natalia's not very smart,' Malkin said dubiously.

Selene snorted.

'Trust me, Malkin, there aren't much brains required in looking pretty.'

Malkin fell silent.

'I'll… I'll miss working with you. It was nice, you know? Having a friend with me whom I knew I could trust.'

Selene smiled.

'I know. It was fun for me in the beginning as well. It's just… I feel like I've been sucked too far into the negatives of this fashion world. It was never my dream to be in fashion, as it was yours. This was meant to be a temporary thing.'

Malkin nodded and walked Selene to the door.

'So. Who's dinner?'

Selene toyed with the zip on her handbag.

'Alphie,' she said quietly.

She looked up to see Malkin struggling to conceal her disapproval.

'Alphie?' she said, clearing her throat. 'Are you… are you sure this is a good idea, Selene?'

Selene closed her eyes, not wanting to hear Malkin's and her own voices of reason. She was too happy to listen to either.

'I have to go. I'll come by your place tomorrow evening.'

* * *

Selene paused as she came to the door of her apartment, and rested her forehead against the cool wood.

'He'll just end up the same as he did the last time. Jealous. Abusive.'

'Sh,' Selene whispered faintly, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. She wanted those voices in her head to disappear- to stop disturbing her peace. She was finally happy, and that was the most important thing.

Slowly, she slid her key in the lock and turned it clockwise.  
The door clicked open.

She raised her hand slowly and turned the cool brass knob of the door. With a deep breath, she entered the apartment. Her heels echoed against the polished wood, a steady and precise sound that was more firm and assertive than she had felt in so long.

She walked into her bedroom, closing her eyes as she slowly undid the zip to her dress. It fell to the ground in a pool of blue silk at her feet.

Everything felt as though it was in slow motion.

She walked over to the mirror and loosened the lace of her bodice until she could unhook the eyes.

She opened her eyes, taking in a deep breath of air, savouring the sensation of oxygen being able to fill her lungs entirely.

With an easy movement, she untied the bows on her underpants, and they too fell to the ground.

Cautiously, she stepped over her clothes and walked up to the full-length mirror. She looked at her reflection curiously.

'Who _are _you?' she breathed.

Her reflection looked so foreign to her. It was as though she had met the person facing her.

But that person was she.

She touched the mirror in wonder.

'Who have you ever been? I don't even know you?'

She watched, mesmerised, as a tear slid from the reflection's eye, leaving a clear trail down her pale cheek.

'Selene?'

She turned, gasping, to see Alphard standing at the door. He was frowning.

'Are you alright?' he said slowly.

She felt her muscles tensing, and her breathing coming in short, sharp gasps.

'Who am I?' she whispered. 'Who is that?'

Alphard glanced at the mirror which Selene was pointing at.

'Why aren't you dressed?'

'Because,' Selene said, going up to him. 'I want to know who I _am. _Without the clothes, without the makeup… without the knickers, I want to know who _I _am. I don't think I know, anymore!'

Alphard looked down and Selene pushed him.

'What are you doing with me, if you don't know who I am?'

Alphard looked up at her, his brow furrowed.

'I can help you remember who you used to be,' he murmured. 'Before anyone and anything tainted you.'

Selene's shoulders slumped, and she looked at him hopefully, desperately. Alphard reached out, and lightly traced the line of her clavicle.

'You were happy. Simple.'

Selene frowned.

'Not simple-minded,' Alphard added hastily, 'But you were simple. You didn't cause a fuss over anything that wasn't important. You had very solid ground values—you were fiercely loyal to your friends, you were mostly polite to your teachers, and you were, really, a very honestly good person. You wished no ill upon anyone. I think 'pure' is a good word to describe you, at that point.'

Selene chewed her lip, looking anxious. Alphard smiled, and touched the corner of her mouth.

'And you smiled. You were always smiling, and it would reach your eyes. I always envied you that—you had no money, no family, and yet you had the most genuine smile I had ever seen.'

Selene's lips quivered as more tears spilled down her cheeks.

'I remember,' she whispered.

Alphard smiled and nodded.

'Yes. And then you started studying… and there was something else in you then. You had the most brilliant mind I had ever seen, not to mention formidable powers.'

Alphard sighed.

'That is who you are, Selene. A brilliant, powerful, smart witch… and one of the most caring and honest people I've known. It doesn't matter what you've become over the past few years, because this is who you really are. That's who I see, when I see you now.'

Selene's smile faltered as she remembered her heritage.

'I… there's more to me,' she whispered.

She could feel her pulse beating in her throat in her nervousness. It was time.

But Alphard merely shook his head.

'No, Selene. The rest is just by-products. Whatever your job, or status in the world… it's not _who _you are. Who you are is that girl I just described.'

Suddenly, Selene felt a warmth spreading through her body, all the way from her core, to her fingertips, as she realised that Alphard was right. She couldn't repress her smile.

'Ah, that's something I've not seen in a very long time,' Alphard said, also smiling widely. 'I've missed your smile.'

Selene laughed, and it rang through the room as she hugged Alphard tightly.

'Thank you,' she whispered, tears of relief streaking her cheeks. 'Thank you.'

* * *

Tom was getting nowhere. He had created five Horcruxes, but was having no luck locating the sword of Godric Gryffindor. Years had passed, and yet he was still in much the same position.

Slowly, he had begun to doubt his ability in himself. Yes, he had a group of followers- his Death Eaters- back in London, and yet they were useless to him until he had a clear vision of where he was heading.

Many had tried to contact him over the past year, worried that they hadn't heard from him. He sent back short replies that he was on very important business and that he would contact them when ready.

--

With a rasping gasp, Tom opened his eyes. He sat up slowly and looked around his room, feeling weak and numb. He hadn't left his bed in a week. He felt as though he was waiting for something, and yet didn't know what it was.

He needed a sign.

He contemplated getting off the bed, but found that he was too weak to do so.

Suddenly, he sat very still as he heard a rapping on the door of his cabin. No one ever came by his cabin… how had anyone found it?

He briefly contemplated the possibility that Selene had somehow found him. After all, she had been able to make him hear her thoughts from many miles away.

But that was many years ago, and she hadn't contacted him since that fateful night.

He heard the door to his cabin creaking open. Groaning, he picked up his wand and forced himself to stand up. He stumbled a little before steadying himself and, tentatively, opening the door from his bedroom to the main living area.

He frowned when he saw a young peasant girl, and then wondered if she was Selene. After all, she had long, dark hair and was very pretty… but then the girl turned suddenly and he saw that she wasn't Selene after all.

He rubbed his eyes, trying to find the energy to clear his blurring vision.

'Sir, I… forgive me for entering your house. I thought it was empty,' she said timidly, in Albanian.

Tom felt dizziness overcoming him and sunk to the floor. The girl gasped and ran to the door.

'Don't… leave…' he rasped.

But it was too late. She had run away, leaving him in his semi-conscious state.

As Tom fought to stay conscious, he realised that there was only one person who could help him immediately.

* * *

'Where are we going?' Selene asked as she fastened her cloak.

'You'll see,' Alphard smiled, kissing her cheek. 'Just give me a minute.'

Selene nodded and sat on the couch as Alphard went to the bathroom.

'Selene…'

Selene gasped and stood up, alert. It was a rasping voice, harsh and gravelly.

'Selene….'

Her heart pounded in her chest, and she felt her palms becoming sweaty.

'Tom?'

'Help…me…'

Selene put her face in her hands. Now that her life was finally getting back on track, Tom had contacted her. Deep down, she wanted to see him again. She wanted the excitement, darkness, danger, and passion which he brought.

But a more sensible part of her realised that this lust had hurt her too many times before. She could not afford to waste her newfound hopes of happiness on Tom, who would inevitably end up hurting her.

'You ready to go?'

Selene stood up suddenly.

'Are you okay? You look very pale,' Alphard said, frowning.

'I…I….'

'Selene….'

'No!' she exclaimed.

Alphard blinked.

'What?'

'No, I meant... yes, yes, I'm ready,' Selene stammered, breathing heavily as she followed Alphard out of the apartment.

'I'm sorry, Tom,' Selene thought. 'But, this time, I choose happiness.'

* * *

Tom could not believe she was ignoring his calls for help and, suddenly, felt a hollow sensation in the pit of his stomach.

If there had been one thing he had always been certain of, it was Selene's constant loyalty to him.

But now even that was gone.

'Sir, sir, drink this.'

Tom opened a bleary eye and was surprised to see the peasant girl from before. He eyed the purple drink she was trying to put in his mouth suspiciously.

'It will give you strength. Please, sir.'

His vision started to fleck black. Reluctantly, Tom opened his mouth and allowed the girl to pour the contents of the glass into his mouth.

He marvelled at the instant relief he felt. Suddenly, his vision was clear, his muscles felt strong, and his thoughts were logical.

'Better, sir?'

Tom watched the girl curiously.

'What are you?' he asked.

She looked down at the floor, blushing.

'I am a peasant girl, sir.'

'Are you a witch?'

Her eyes widened in horror and she stood up suddenly.

'I am no witch! I only wanted to help!'

She ran to the door, but Tom apparated in front of it, blocking her exit.

'It's okay if you are. You shouldn't be ashamed. I'm a wizard,' he said, peering intently into her eyes.

He smiled as he extracted the image of the girl, with another older woman, stirring a cauldron.

The girl looked panic-stricken.

'I am not a witch! I only make remedies from the herbs in my grandmother's garden. Please! Let me pass!'

'Not yet,' Tom said, locking the door behind him.

The girl's face became ashen, and Tom sighed.

'Please, take a seat. You have helped me, so I promise I won't hurt you. I just want to find out more about you.'

The girl sat down reluctantly, tears streaking down her pale cheeks.

'Now, what is your name?'

'Ardita,' the girl mumbled.

'I'm…'

Tom went to say 'Voldemort', but decided that the girl was simple and that she would never need to know him as 'Voldemort' anyway.

'I'm Tom,' he said calmly. 'Now, why did you come in this house? It's very far away from any kind of life.'

The girl sniffed.

'I saw a boot. It glowed, so I picked it up. It took me here. When I touched it again, it took me back home where I got the potion for you. Then I touched it once more and it brought me back here.'

Tom shook his head in spite of himself. He could not believe he had been so foolish as to forget about the portkeys he had created.

'Ah, that was my fault. I apologise.'

The girl fidgeted nervously with her apron.

'Can I go, please?'

Tom shook his head.

'Is your grandmother a witch?'

The girl sniffed.

'They will kill us if they find out,' she said tearfully.

'So she _is _a witch, then?'

The girl nodded.

'Only grandmother. I live with her. Please, sir, let me back to her. She will worry.'

Tom nodded, and stood up. He noticed that the girl herself looked visibly relieved.

'May you take me to her?'

She blanched.

'My grandmother?'

He nodded.

'It has been some time since I saw anyone of my kind. I would like to speak with your grandmother.'

The girl bowed her head,.

'She will be very angry at me. She tells no one.'

'Neither will I,' Tom said confidingly.

The girl looked up at him and then blushed and nodded.

'Thank you, Ardita,' he said.

As Tom followed Ardita, he smiled to himself. He felt his old self coming back now that he had been able to charm the peasant girl into taking him with him.

'Perhaps not all is lost,' he muttered to himself.

--

'Grandmother, this is Tom,' Ardita said. 'He is of your kind. He is a wizard.'

The wizened woman's eyes widened and she turned angrily to her granddaughter.

'I told you- we tell no one,' she hissed.

'I know, grandmother, but he recognised the potion!' the girl pleaded. 'He swore he would tell no one.'

The woman turned to Tom and eyed him suspiciously.

'I don't wish to inconvenience you, madam,' Tom said politely. 'If you excuse me, I live in a very isolated part of this forest and it has been some time since I spoke to anyone of our kind.'

The woman hesitated, and then let Tom in the cottage. Tom frowned as he looked around the room which was decorated with old china and painted in a warm rose colour. There was something foreign about the warmth of the cottage; the cosiness of it.

He had grown up in the bleak environment of the orphanage, and then Hogwarts- a castle. He had never been in such an environment before.

'Tea?'

'Yes please,' he said, sitting down at the table next to Ardita, who continued to steal glances at him and blush.

'You have a very nice place here,' Tom said.

The grandmother nodded and placed a teapot on the table.

'You have no family who are magical?' Tom asked her.

The woman nodded.

'No. I never knew my family. I grew up an orphan. I was married with a daughter by the time I realised what I was.'

Tom felt winded as he heard the woman's story.

'It is not so bad,' the woman said, shrugging.

'I… I too was orphaned,' he said gruffly.

The woman nodded sadly.

'So was Ardita. Her parents died on a ship.'

Tom glanced at Ardita who pressed her lips together as she stared determinedly at her tea cup.

'But Grandmother Anna has raised me like a mother. I do not feel orphaned,' she said, smiling at her grandmother.

Anna smiled at her granddaughter.

'She is a very good girl,' she said to Tom. 'Are you married?'

Tom shook his head.

'No.'

'You're not from here, are you?'

He shook his head again.

'No, I am from England.'

Anna smiled.

'I had a very good friend from England. She recognised me for what I am. Her name was Aliki. But she died, from what I heard. She had a broken heart- loved a man who was involved with that dark wizard, Grindelwald.'

'Oh,' Tom said awkwardly. 'I'm sorry to hear that.'

Anna nodded wistfully.

'A very powerful witch, she was. She gave me her spare wand and taught me many things about potions. I have a picture of her here—'

Tom gasped when he saw the picture. It was Selene- but with shorter hair.

'Where… who… when did this woman die?'

'In 1927, I heard.'

Tom's eyes widened.

'Did she have a daughter?'

Anna shrugged.

'I don't know. I didn't see her for many years before her death.'

Tom looked at the photo again and felt his hands shaking.

Part of him wanted to see if this Aliki woman was related to Selene- he felt certain that she was- but another part wanted to forget about it.

After all, what did he care? Selene had refused to help him only an hour ago.

Tom handed back the photograph and sipped his tea. Then, in the corner of the room, a newspaper caught his eye.

'Is that… the Daily Prophet?' he asked, sitting up.

Anna nodded.

'Yes, it's yesterday's.'

'Would you mind if I took a look at it? It's been a very long time,' Tom said.

'You can keep it,' Anna said, smiling kindly. 'I get it delivered daily.'

'Thank you,' Tom smiled.

He drained his tea cup, and then sighed.

'I must leave, but it was a pleasure meeting you, Madam. If it wasn't for your granddaughter, I don't know that I would have survived the night.'

Anna kissed Ardita's hand.

'She's a very good girl, my granddaughter.'

'Well, thank you,' he said, nodding to the two before approaching the portkey.

The door shut, and Tom bent down to touch the boot, which was glowing blue.

'Wait!'

Tom turned around to see Ardita running towards him. Her eyes were bright, and her cheeks flushed.

'I… don't leave,' she whispered.'

'I…'

But Tom didn't get to finish his sentence, because Ardita leant forward and kissed him tentatively.

Tom took her firmly by the shoulders and pushed her away.

'I'm sorry,' he said. 'I can't.'

Ardita's shoulders dropped in disappointment.

Without another moment's hesitation, Tom touched the portkey and felt the accompanying jerk as he was transported back to his cabin.

He shook his head as he thought of Ardita.

'Silly mudblood girl,' he muttered.

He walked back into his musty cabin and sat on the armchair and flipped through the Daily Prophet.

'Dumbledore, Headmaster?' he said in disgust. 'School's gone to the dogs.'

He flipped through all the news-, which wasn't very eventful… until he reached the Adverts.

There, at the top of all the advertisements, was the Hogwarts Emblem.

Underneath the Emblem, a heading: 'Vacant Teaching Position- Defence Against the Dark Arts.'

Tom's eyes lit up. He felt his pulse racing with the fire and ambition that had had lost over the previous year.

It was time to go home.

* * *

**Oh God, I am absolutely SO sorry for the wait for this chapter. I have very good reasons this time, though-**

**1/ I got my tonsils out. While kids seem to bounce back easily after tonsillectomies, it's not quite as easy for adults. I literally spent two weeks post-op struggling to sip water. Not fun**

**2/ I had very trying personal issues to deal with. You can read more on that on my LJ blog, if you're interested.**

**I swear that the longest you'll have to wait for the next chapter will be 2 weeks…**

'_I've put off telling you this for too long. It's time you learnt the truth about me and who I really am.' _– Selene to ???

**So, my lovelies, please review to show me that you haven't deserted me, despite the travesty I've committed against you in making you wait for so long for this chapter!**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	39. Chapter 39: Equality of Two Powers

"_**Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other,"-**_** Carl Jung**

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* * *

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**Equality of Two Domestic Powers**

'I understand you had something absolutely urgent to tell me?' Selene said coldly as she entered the warmth of Dumbledore's office.

Her eyes flickered about the room. A great fire was roaring in the magnificent white marble fireplace. She then noticed two plush armchairs with a table set between them. On it was a three-tiered platter of cucumber sandwiches, scones and miniature cakes.

Dumbledore came forward to meet her, his eyes as piercingly blue as ever. Selene swallowed as she found her resolve slipping already.

Surely, such eyes could never betray her? She had never known a father, but had grown to regard Dumbledore as some kind of father figure over her formitive years.

Perhaps that was why his betrayal had stung her so painfully. There is no betrayal that hurts a woman as the betrayal of her father.

Selene cleared her throat smartly, disregarding the tumult of emotions she felt.

'Whatever you have to say, make it quick,' she said, tearing her eyes away from Dumbledore's.

'Won't you sit down?' he said quietly, motioning to the armchairs.

Selene pursed her lips and sat down tersely.

'Well? What is it?'

Dumbledore sighed heavily.

'My dear child, I must apologise for our last meeting. I did not realise it at the time- I thought I was acting in the best interests of all- but I was wrong. Can you forgive your old Professor?'

Selene clenched her fists. She desperately wanted to be strong- to stop giving in to the requests of the men in her life- but the apology seemed so sincere; so heartfelt. Part of her wanted to forgive Dumbledore because he was the only one who shared the burden of her curse. Surely, reconciling with him would lessen the weight on her shoulders.

Numbly, she nodded.

'Tea?'

Again, she nodded and accepted the dainty china teacup he offered her, filled with fragrant Indian tea. Gingerly, she brought the warm liquid to her lips. She paused as the thought that, perhaps, Dumbledore had placed some Imperius-like potion in her tea crossed her mind.

He chuckled lightly and Selene looked up at him, her brows furrowed.

'I understand that you find it hard to trust me. It was indeed foolish of me to expect you to go against Mr Riddle. Naturally, you have an affinity for him.'

'It's not like that!' Selene protested.

'Indeed, but you cannot deny that you share a bond with him, almost stronger than that of brother and sister. In many ways, he is your equal. Ironically, he is your opposite in all other ways.'

Selene drained her teacup and set it down on the mahogany coffee table.

'What do you want?' she asked wearily.

Dumbledore paused, his eyes fixed on the roaring fire in front of them. A few embers fell onto the carpet and they both watched as they glowed amber- and then died, black.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and placed the tips of his fingers together lightly.

'Tom Riddle is back in town,' he murmured. 'Were you aware of that?'

Selene shivered. Dumbledore gazed up at her over his half-moon spectacles.

'No, you didn't,' he said, nodding heavily. 'Selene, I did not ask you here today to spy on Tom for me. Indeed, I want you to do the opposite- to refrain from seeing him at all costs. I had previously underestimated just how deep he has delved into the Dark Arts. Furthermore, I am now more convinced than ever of the role he has played in the death of many innocent lives.'

Selene squinted as she vaguely recalled the repressed memory of the evils Tom had committed. Even though a part of her knew they were true, she still found it impossible to imagine him carrying those acts out. They were too terrible.

And even though he had tortured her enough to make any normal person insane, she still couldn't believe it. He had a motive for her- they shared that connection which, at times, became too much for both of them. They clashed too strongly.

But those other innocent lives- surely they weren't _important_ enough for Tom to torture of even murder. She felt sure that everything he did must be absolutely imperative; that expending his time and energy on a pointless task was one of the most distasteful things he could do.

'You refuse to accept what you know is the truth,' Dumbledore said softly.

Selene started. She was so deep in thought that she had forgotten Dumbledore's presence.

'I… no, I know he is evil,' she mumbled half-heartedly.

'You know, but you do not accept,' Dumbledore said, watching her curiously. 'Like a Muggle who sees us performing feats of magic. They _know_ they have seen something they deem as 'supernatural', and yet they refuse to accept what it to be so. Instead, they are content to believe their minds are playing tricks on them.'

'He has so much potential for good!' Selene exclaimed. 'And I feel like I'm the only one who sees this in him. I'm certain that, if I worked on him patiently- he too would realise the good that is in him.'

Dumbledore sat up suddenly, his eyes suddenly very serious.

'Selene, that is a dangerous game. While I grant that you bring out whatever good may exist in Tom Riddle and that, at times, he has showed some semblance of possessing emotions that normal humans take for granted- do not be fooled! He will easily sacrifice you for his quest for power.'

'He's had many chances to kill me and hasn't,' said Selene quietly.

'And does that excuse him? Here, do you see this picture?'

Selene nodded. It was of a grotesque woman, dressed extravagantly and made up with enough makeup for an entire opera chorus.

'Her name was Hepzibah Smith.'

Selene looked up at Dumbledore.

'She lived alone with her house elf. The last person to visit her was Tom Riddle. She was murdered, Selene.'

Selene crossed her arms.

'Perhaps she…'

'She was a harmless and good woman. Foolish, yes, but a person nonetheless. And would you care to know _why_ she was killed?'

Selene raised her eyebrows.

'Two prize possessions of hers were found missing- one, the locket of Salazar Slytherin, and the other- the cup of Helga Hufflepuff.'

'And what would Tom want with those items?' Selene said, perplexed.

'I might add that the owner of the locket, before Miss Smith, was Merope Gaunt. Tom Riddle's mother.'

Selene opened her mouth, and then went very pale.

'But you seem surprised?' Dumbledore mused. 'You know that many girls suffered mysterious ailments and death whilst at Hogwarts- Esther, Myrtle, Morticia…'

Selene covered her ears, her eyes screwed tightly shut.

'He's evil,' she whispered hoarsely. 'I know it. But I also know there is a tiny light of hope for him- somewhere deep inside his stone heart.'

Dumbledore took her arm tightly.

'Which may glow just like that ember we saw now- faintly, for a few moments- but inevitably turn black. You must accept, Selene, that Tom has already marred his soul beyond repair. He will not deviate from his chosen path for anyone. He had made up his mind on this matter even before he arrived at Hogwarts at the tender age of eleven.'

Selene choked back a sob, and Dumbledore put an arm around her. Selene clutched at him, feeling hot tears stinging her pale cheeks.

'You don't understand!' she cried. 'I know too much. If I don't change him- if I don't set him right- then no one will. I've suffered too much for him, for it to all have been in vain!'

She felt Dumbledore stroking her hair and looked up at him, her breathing shallow.

'Please tell me I'm not crazy for feeling this way,' she pleaded.

Dumbledore shook his head and smiled kindly.

'No, you are not,' he said reassuringly. 'But you also know that you have to go against what your heart feels.'

Selene nodded bitterly.

'Yes. I ignored his last call for help. You have no idea how hard it was for me- to block out his voice, to ignore it and carry on with my day as though I hadn't heard the fear and desperation in his voice.'

Dumbledore looked puzzled for a moment.

'He has contacted you?'

Selene shrugged, but made no offer to explain herself.

'Is that all you wished to tell me?' she asked, after a pause.

Dumbledore nodded, and offered Selene his arm as she stood up.

'I know you're right,' she said, quietly. 'I'd already made up my mind that I should never seen him again... But you say he's in England? What if he finds me?'

'Leave immediately,' Dumbledore said seriously. 'Come to Hogwarts, if you feel you are in any danger. He will not venture here lightly.'

Selene nodded and sniffed meekly.

'I'm glad we're no longer fighting,' she said quietly. 'It was so comforting to have someone who knew and understood me.'

Dumbledore smiled warmly.

'My dear, feel free to visit me any time you like. My door is always open for you.'

Selene smiled, and walked out of the door.

'Good evening, Professor,' she said, nodding to him with a final smile and making her way down the spiral staircase.

* * *

Tom felt alive for the first time in years. In Albania, he had been wasting away in a forest. Now, as he walked through the streets of London, his senses seemed awakened.

New buildings, gleaming with modernity, had been erected. Automobiles were plentiful on the roads and there was the smell of burning industrial fuels.

Progression. Tom liked it.

Women dressed in bright colours and, after keeping only himself for company for so long, he found the sheer number of people on the streets was overwhelming.

He stepped inside the Leaky Cauldron and went up to the bar, which a young girl was tending. She had short red hair- it had a dyed synthetic lustre to it- and was dressed rather androgynously.

'What can I get ya?'

Tom's initial plans had been to go straight to his room, but he decided to sit and absorb his surroundings for a while. He needed to observe the way magical folk behaved these days.

'Glass of red wine,' he murmured, going to an empty booth and taking a seat on the faded red leather.

He sat very still, so that only his eyes moved. There was a hag in one corner, so intoxicated that she was drooling into her cup of mead. Next to her, two wizards were sitting at a table discussing the economy.

Bored, Tom looked to the other side of the room. A man was sitting alone in a chair with an empty notepad in front of him. Every now and then, he shot a furtive glance at the girl who was seated a few tables away from him, absorbed in her book. Next to the girl was a couple sitting in a dark corner and faintly recognised the face of the girl. Curious, he performed a spell so he could hear their conversation-

'He wants to bring her to dinner.'

'Bring whom?'

'The mudblood, of course.'

'Ah. Well of course he can't do that. She'll be lynched before she even steps foot in the house.'

'Rightly so,' the girl said stoutly.

Tom smiled ruefully as he recognised the girl as Walburga Black. Suddenly, he felt an inexplicable rage and longing burning in the pit of his stomach.

'Your wine, sir.'

He barely looked at the waitress as he handed her a galleon. He kept his eyes fixed on Walburga.

'Is this why you brought us here?'

'Well I couldn't very well tell you this despicable news in any of our regular places. Imagine if someone should overhear that my brother- Alphard Black- wants to bring his mudblood whore into our house. Why, the very thought of her polluting our noble and ancient house sickens me.'

Tom was brought to reality by the sound of a gasp. He turned to see the waitress hurrying forward, and then looked down to see that he had broken his glass.

'I'm so sorry, sir. I….'

Tom stood up abruptly.

'I'd like a room.'

'Certainly sir, just let me clean up…'

'Now,' he said softly, yet dangerously.

The girl shivered and straightened suddenly.

'Of… of course,' she stammered. 'Just a single?'

'Yes.'

He followed her through the mangy corridors which smelt like a mixture of mould, beer, cheap perfume, and sex. The unpolished floorboards creaked noisily under his feet.

They came to a stop outside a room- room 309.

'Your room, sir,' the waitress said timidly, curtseying and running off very quickly.

Tom snorted as he watched her all but tearing down the corridor. He enjoyed,the rush of power he felt in intimidating the foolish waitress.

As he shut the door behind him with a resonating 'click', a broad smile suddenly stretched his lips.

'I'm back,' he whispered, marvelling at the strength and power he suddenly felt. 'I'm back.'

* * *

'Alphie, this is Jim. Jim, my best friend- Alphard Black.'

Alphard hesitated before shaking Jim's hand. He was still deeply uneasy about meeting Sean's lover.

'How… how do you do?' he said formally.

Sean cast Alphard a wary glance.

'Alphie… he found it hard to accept, but he's trying very hard to understand,' he explained to Jim, who looked affronted at Alphard's reserved attitude. 'I know this might be awkward at first. Anyway, let's get out of the snow.'

Alphard hesitated before stepping into Sean and Jim's apartment. He was surprised by how modern the furnishings were- with posters of inspirational figures, filled with books by modern thinkers, and recordings of rock bands.

'Shall I get a bottle of wine?' Jim said, looking to Sean.

Sean nodded and Jim left the room.

'Here, take a seat.'

Again, Alphard cast a wary glance at the couches before taking a seat. Sean laughed.

'Calm down, we don't shag on the couches. Our bed was very expensive so, naturally, we want to use it as much as we can.'

Alphard paled.

'Too much?' Sean frowned.

Alphard nodded weakly.

'How... how's the auror business going?' he asked.

Sean shrugged.

'Fine. We don't exactly do very much. It's more macho showmanship than actual 'saving lives'. They're bone lazy in that department, I tell you. And, quite corrupt.'

Alphard frowned.

'But surely you don't believe in that sort of behaviour?'

Sean sighed.

'No, I don't. But I can't change the entire Auror department. Not yet, anyway,' he added with a slight chuckle. 'Either way, I get free weed out of it so I'm not about to start complaining.'

He rummaged through his pockets and produced a silver cigarette case.

'Smoke?'

Alphard took a cigarette and Sean lit it for him. They paused for a moment, each savouring the flavour of the tobacco.

'How's Selene?'

Alphard glanced up at Sean and then looked back down at the couch, toying with the red tassel of one of the cushions.

'She's fine,' he said quietly. 'We're getting there… slowly.'

'Engaged?'

Alphard started at the thought.

'Engaged? Oh no… no certainly not.'

Sean tapped his cigarette, and they both watched with interest as a small column of gray ash fell neatly on the silver ash tray.

'Why not? You've been together long enough. Surely she expects it?' Sean said, looking inquisitively up at Alphard.

Alphard shrugged.

'We've been on and off too much.'

'Alphie,' Sean said practically, 'that's because there's too much uncertainty. You haven't given her any proof that you are absolutely serious about her. I really think you should get on with the marriage business.'

'And what about you?' Alphard shot.

Sean sighed ruefully.

'You know very well that England doesn't sanction the marriage between two individuals of the same sex,' he said tartly.

'Sorry,' Alphard said sheepishly. 'As for Selene- I… I still need some time.'

Sean scrutinised Alphard for a moment.

'Hmm,' he said, 'Well make sure your needing 'time' is only a matter of weeks as opposed to a few years. Neither of you are getting any younger, and your living situation is hardly appropriate.'

Alphard tugged at his dark, lustrous hair, feeling frustrated.

'Just… just give me a month or two,' he said. 'I want to bring her to meet my family first.'

Sean's eyes widened.

'Alphie, that has to be the stupidest idea I've ever heard! She'd be like a piece of meat in a pack of hungry wolves.'

Alphard crossed his arms stubbornly.

'Though you might not appreciate this, I do wish to remain in good favour with my family. Yes, I understand they might not see eye to eye with me about matters such as blood purity, but…'

'Alphard, you're blind,' said Sean irritably. 'They will _never_ accept her into your family. You will never have their acceptance. If you can't handle being estranged from your family, then you should stop wasting her time and emotions. She's far too good for you to string along in such a manner.'

Alphard stood up abruptly.

'If you'll excuse me, I have to go.'

Sean sighed and stood up heavily.

'Alphie, you know I'm right. If you love her like you say you do, you'll do the right thing by her. Just don't bring her into the mess of your family. It could get dangerous.'

Alphard's eyes flashed angrily.

'Are you saying that my family would do something to her?'

Sean ran a hand through his sandy hair.

'You and I both know that your family have been prone to torturing muggles and muggle-borns.'

Alphard walked to the door and opened it, his face thin and drawn.

'They wouldn't. Not if they knew her.'

And with that, he slammed the door behind him.

'Okay, red or white?'

Sean sank on the couch and put his head in his shaking hands.

'Where'd your friend go?' Jim said, setting the two bottles down on the coffee table and sitting next to Sean.

Sean rubbed his face and looked up at Jim wearily.

'He didn't like what I had to say. Wouldn't be the first time.'

He exhaled slowly, and reached out and took the bottle of red wine, uncorking it with his teeth.

'Forget him,' he muttered, drinking directly from the bottle. 'Let's get high instead. You got a joint?'

Jim smiled and produced a joint from the pocket in his shirt.

'I knew there was a reason I let you mooch rent off me,' Sean grinned, taking the joint from Jim and ruffling his hair as he lit up.

* * *

Tom smiled as he peered through a crack in the door to survey the private assembly hall he had booked for the Death Eaters meeting. Not only had all his old followers returned, but there were more.

Many more.

There were at least forty people in the room. They were talking animatedly, wearing expressions of anticipation mixed with a little fear.

He flicked his wand, and the room fell silent as an explosion on the stage went off. Clearing his throat smartly, he walked onto the stage.

Suddenly, the room erupted into enthusiastic applause.

He bowed and, after a minute, the applause subsided.

'My loyal followers- Death Eaters- welcome! I know many of you have missed my presence, but be assured that I have travelled far and wide. I have learnt of magic and pushed the boundaries of our craft as no witch nor wizard has dared to venture before.'

He paused, and felt satisfaction washing over him as he saw that every single face was watching him with rapt attention.

'No longer will we be forced to watch on helplessly as our noble and pure race be vilified by mudblood filth. Our children will no longer be subjected to learning about the inferior race at our schools or having their innocent minds corrupted by fraternising with such unworthy students. You will no longer be forced to consort with such lowly filth at work nor ever associate with them ever again.'

He paused.

'Our noble world will, once again, be pure.'

He smiled, and raised his hand.

'Your Lord Voldemort has returned!'

His voice resounding through the room, echoing ominously.

Suddenly, the entire room stood up and burst into applause and all Tom could do was laugh his high-pitched laugh.

The rush of power was overwhelming. And addictive.

He wanted more.

* * *

Tom cleared his throat in excited anticipation and briskly rapped his knuckles on the door.

'Enter.'

Taking a deep breath, Tom entered the room and paused as he looked around the Headmaster's office- so familiar, and yet different.

'Good evening, Tom,' said Dumbledore easily, rising from his chair. 'Won't you sit down?'

'Thank you,' said Tom, taking a seat in the leather armchair opposite his desk. 'I heard that you had become Headmaster. A worthy choice.'

Dumbledore smiled, but Tom could tell that it was insincere. The blue of his eyes were as cold as ice.

'I am glad you approve. May I offer you a drink?'

'That would be welcome,' said Tom, bowing his head. 'I have come a long way.'

Dumbledore stood and swept over to an antique cabinet that was full of bottles.

Tom clasped his hands in front of him as Dumbledore poured two goblets of wine.

'So, Tom…. To what do I owe the pleasure?'

Tom did not answer at once, but merely sipped the wine. He noticed that it was of much better quality than that at the Leaky Cauldron.

'They do not call me "Tom" any more,' he said slowly. 'These days, I am known as—'

'I know what you are known as,' said Dumbledore, smiling in such a pleasant manner that Tom wanted to throttle the old man then and there. 'But to me, I'm afraid you will always be Tom Riddle. It is one of the irritating things about old teachers, I am afraid, that they never quite forget their charges' youthful beginnings.'

He raised a glass as though toasting, and Tom tried to compose his fury. He now very quickly remembered why he hated Dumbledore more than anyone else…

Other than Selene, that is.

'I am surprised you have remained here so long,' said Tom after a short pause, his tone biting. 'I always wondered why a wizard such as yourself never wished to leave school.'

'Well,' said Dumbledore, still smiling, 'to a wizard such as myself, there can be nothing more important than passing on ancient skills, helping hone young minds. If I remember correctly, you once saw the attraction of teaching, too.'

'I seek it still,' said Tom quickly. 'I merely wondered why you—who is so often asked for advice by the Ministry, and who has twice, I think, been offered the post of Minister—'

'Three times at the last count, actually,' said Dumbledore. 'But the Ministry never attracted me as a career. Again, something we have in common, I think.'

Tom inclined his head and took another sip of wine. He did not like that Dumbledore had compared them—he had aspirations that far surpassed that fool.

'I have returned,' Tom said after a little while, 'later, perhaps, than Professor Dippet expected… but I have returned, nevertheless, to request again what he once told me I was too young to have. I have come to ask that you permit me to return to this castle, to teach. I think you must know that I have seen and done much since I left this place. I could show and tell your students things they can gain from no other wizard.'

Dumbledore considered Tom over the top of his own goblet for a while before speaking.

'Yes, I certainly do know that you that you have seen and done much since leaving us,' he said quietly. 'Rumours of your doings have reached your old school, Tom. I should be sorry to believe half of them.'

Tom kept his expression impassive as he said—

'Greatness inspires envy, envy engenders spite, spite spawns lies. You must know this, Dumbledore.'

'You call it "greatness", what you have been doing, do you?' asked Dumbledore delicately.

'Certainly,' said Tom, feeling the passion for his cause burning. 'I have pushed the boundaries of magic further, perhaps, than they have ever been pushed—'

'Of some kinds of magic,' Dumbledore corrected him quietly. 'Of some. Of others, you remain…. Forgive me… woefully ignorant.'

Tom leered, feeling his rage boiling up now.

'The old argument,' he said softly. 'But nothing I have seen in the world has supported your famous pronouncements that love is more powerful than my kind of magic, Dumbledore.'

'Perhaps you have been looking in the wrong places,' suggested Dumbledore.

Dumbledore stared unflinchingly at Tom and Tom, suddenly, saw remembered Selene, writhing underneath him and breathing heavily against his ear.

He shook his head quickly.

'Well, then,' he said, falsely bright. 'What better place to start my fresh researches than here, at Hogwarts? Will you let me share my knowledge with your students? I place myself and my talents at your disposal. I am yours to command.'

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows.

'And what will become of those whom _you _command? What will happen to those who call themselves—or so rumour has it—the Death Eaters?'

Tom's breath caught and his eyes widened and nostrils flared.

''My friends,' he said after a moment's pause, 'will carry on without me, I am sure.'

'I am glad to hear that you consider them friends,' said Dumbledore coldly. 'I was under the impression that they are more in the order of servants.'

'You are mistaken,' Tom said resolutely.

'Then if I were to go to the Hog's Head tonight, I would not find a grou of them—Nott, Rosier, Mulciber, Dolohov—awaiting your return? Devoted friends indeed, to travel this far with you on a snowy night, merely to wish you luck as you attempt to secure a teaching post.'

Tom froze, feeling winded. How on earth did Dumbledore know so much?

'You are omniscient as ever, Dumbledore,' he said, smiling tightly. Nonetheless, his mind was racing.

How did Dumbledore know his movements so accurately? He suddenly wondered if Selene was able to track him through their mysterious connection.

'Oh no, merely friendly with the local barmen,' said Dumbledore lightly. 'Now, Tom…'

Dumbledore set down his empty glass and drew himself up in his seat, the tips of his finger together.

'… let us speak openly. Why have you come here tonight, surrounded by henchmen, to request a job we both know you do not want?'

Tom felt surprised by the question.

'A job I do not want?' he seethed. 'On the contrary, Dumbledore, I want it very much.'

'Oh you want to come back to Hogwarts, but you do not want to teach any more than you wanted to when you were eighteen. What is it you're after, Tom? Why not try an open request for once?'

Tom sneered.

'If you do not want to give me a job—'

'Of course I don't,' said Dumbledore. 'And I don't think for a moment you expected me to. Nevertheless, you came here, you asked, you must have had a purpose.'

Tom stood up suddenly, feeling overcome with rage.

'This is your final word?'

'It is,' said Dumbledore, also standing.

'Then we have nothing more to say to each other.'

'No, nothing,' said Dumbledore.

Tom glared at him, but was then surprised when he saw a great sadness filling Dumbledore's face. 'The time is long gone when I could frighten you with a burning wardrobe and force you to make repayment for your crimes. But I wish I could, Tom… I wish I could….'

It was too much. Tom was certain there was the underlying taunt of Selene and her betrayal in this statement. His hand twitched towards his wand, but then he stopped.

With a final glare at Dumbledore, he turned away, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

'Hey, I'm home.'

Selene smiled, placed the two plates on the table, and ran to the front door to meet Alphard. She kissed him sweetly.

'How was Sean?' she asked taking his coat.

Alphard stifferned and pushed her away.

'He's fine. I don't think I'll be seeing him for a while,' he said stiffly, walking to the liquor cabinet in the living room and pouring a generous amount of gin into a tumbler.

'Hey, I've prepared dinner,' Selene said, watching warily as Alphard tossed the clear liquid down in one.

He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and undid the first few buttons of his shirt.

'I'm not hungry,' he said, sinking into the couch and lighting up a cigarette.

Selene crossed her arms.

'Not in the house. And you said you were going to quit,' she said, going to take the cigarette from him.

Alphard moved his hand quickly.

'No,' he said firmly, his eyes hard. 'This is _my _house and I'll do as I please.'

Selene stood back, her face suddenly pale with fury.

'No,' she said angrily. 'This is _our _house and you'll do as we agreed—together.'

Alphard looked up at her, surprised at her tone.

'That's right, I'm not going to take any of this bullshit of yours,' she said angrily. 'I'm sick of being everyone's pushover- you, Malkin, the auror department, Tom….'

Alphard started at the mention of Tom, and Selene nodded emphatically.

'That's right. So you'll stop smoking, stop drinking and- right now- you'll get in the kitchen and eat the dinner I worked hard to prepare for you, you ungrateful imbecile.'

Her last insult hung high in the air.

Slowly, Alphard stood up. He threw his cigarette in the fireplace and then walked up to Selene, whose chest was heaving. She tensed, afraid that perhaps he was going to strike her for her tone.

Instead, he leant forward and kissed her passionately.

'You've got me all hot, now,' he chuckled against her lips. 'I haven't heard you talking like that in so long. I miss that side to you.'

Selene smiled, feeling her happiness and confidence returning. Alphard had been right- her old self _hadn't_ disappeared. She had merely repressed it over the years.

With a grin, Selene pushed Alphard onto the couch and hitched up her skirt as she straddled him.

'What about dinner?' he asked breathlessly as she unbuttoned her shirt and tossed it to the side.

'It can wait,' she said, pulling the clip out of her hair. Slowly, her hair tumbled down the ivory skin of her back like a wave of molten lava.

Alphard ran his hands over her body and a look of awe overcame his face. Urgently, Selene pulled him to her and, in one swift movement, he moved so that he was on top of her.

Breathing heavily, they both worked frantically at the buckle of his pants and, seconds later, they were sighing in pleasure as their bodies built up a steady rhythm.

Alphard soon began breathing as he usually did when close to finishing.

'Not yet,' Selene whispered urgently.

She pushed him away and a look of confusion broke the trance-like state Alphard was in.

'What are you…'

With a grin, Selene pushed him down and got on top of him, resuming their rhythm.

'I want to be on top,' she said, closing her eyes as a wave of pleasure rippled through her. 'I..'

She suddenly froze and felt paralysed as the most intense surge of pleasure she had ever experienced overcame her. She faintly heard Alphard groaning with his own release, but was too lost in her own haze to take any particular notice.

It was as though she had been lifted beyond earth- to some heavenly height. If she had ever doubted the existence of some higher power, she fully believed it now, for that sensation was no early feeling.

Earth was mundane, bleak. People tried to be good, generally, but were always somehow imperfect; selfish.

But that sensation which swept through her entire body- that was something beautiful.

She had always appreciated beauty in paintings or nature or even music… but none compared with that sensation. It had been the most beautiful experience of her life; so much more beautiful than any artwork could ever be because it had consumed _her._ She had _physically _experienced that exquisite beauty.

Her eyes flushed and cheeks suffused, she bent over and kissed Alphard passionately.

'Thank you,' she murmured, half-laughing.

Alphard tucked a tendril of her hair behind her ear, and kissed the tip of her nose.

'I've never seen you enjoy sex so much,' he whispered to her.

'Because I never _have_ enjoyed sex so much,' she whispered, laughing.

Suddenly, she stood up and stretched, feeling invigorated.

'Let's go swimming,' she said, her eyes bright with excitement.

Alphard laughed uneasily.

'Selene, it's freezing outside. I don't know if you've forgotten, but it's December.'

Selene pouted.

'We can take care of that. I want to feel water- to be out in nature. Life is so beautiful… come on!'

She took his hand and Alphard, still in his post-coital haze, had no choice but to follow.

The snow nipped at their skin like little pins as they ran through the back yard to the lake.

Shivering, and with chattering teeth, Alphard pulled Selene to him.

'This is nonsense, you don't even have your wand. You'll catch cold, let's go inside.'

Selene grinned and turned to face the lake, holding her hands out to the water and closing her eyes with concentration. Alphard looked on in a mixture of fascination and horror as he suddenly noticed steam rising from the water.

With a smile, Selene opened her eyes and dived into the water before Alphard could stop her.

'Come on!' she called as she resurfaced, 'It's beautiful!'

Hesitantly, Alphard dipped a toe in the water. He was surprised that it was enticingly warm compared to the cold air.

Without a second thought, he too jumped in.

When he came to the surface, Selene swam up to him and wrapped her arms around his neck, looking into his eyes seriously.

'Do you love me?' she whispered, her eyes suddenly grave.

Alphard smiled and kissed her.

'I don't get you. You change every day... I don't think I'll _ever_ get you.'

Selene's shoulders slumped.

'Is that your response?' she said, pushing him away.

Alphard swam up to her and pulled her to him, pressing her against the bank as he kissed her lingeringly, trailing hot kisses down her neck causing her to let out a sigh of pleasure.

'Yes, Selene Circe Asteria, I love you. With all my heart.'

As he said it, he realised it was true. He _wanted_ his family to accept her- to accept them- but if they didn't, he knew he would ultimately choose Selene.

Selene held his face, again looking into his eyes with a very serious expression.

'Alphard, I've put off telling you this for too long. It's time you learnt the truth about me, about who I really am.'

Alphard looked taken aback.

'What do you mean?'

Selene opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. She knew that her next sentence would change their relationship forever.

But she also knew that she could not prolong the moment any further.

'I…'

_Selene, Selene, Selene. You thought you could hide from me, didn't you? Well, I'm back in London. You should watch your back from now on. You're number one on my Death Eaters' list of mudblood targets. I'm going to get you, Selene, just you wait and see..._

Selene's eyes widened with horror and she felt overcome with nausea. She pushed Alphard away and leant over the bank, breathing heavily.

'Selene? What is it?'

She felt Alphard coming up to her, his arms supporting her waist.

'I… I don't feel well,' she whispered, her vision starting to fleck with black spots.

'Selene, what did you have to tell me?'

'I…'

But Selene couldn't finish her sentence because she already slid into unconsciousness.

* * *

**I feel absolutely horrid for not keeping my promise. I'm so sorry, I don't know how time flies by so quickly. **

**Having said that, this was one of the harder chapters to write, so I hope it was worth the wait! **

**Next chapter-**

'_I'd like you to meet my family,' – _Alphard to Selene

**Please, please, please review! Reviews take very little time, but make my stressful life so much happier. **

**Love, Anya**

**p.s. I must add that that scene with Dumbledore/Tom was almost straight out of HP6. **


	40. Chapter 40: Different in Blood

"_**I'm your Opheliac **_

_**I've been so disillusioned **_

_**I know you'd take me back **_

_**But still I feign confusion **_

_**I couldn't be your friend **_

_**My world was too unstable **_

_**You might have seen the end **_

_**But you were never able**_

_**To keep me breathing **_

_**As the water rises up again**_

_**Before I slip away"**_

Opheliac- Emilie Autumn

* * *

**Different in Blood**

Selene opened her eyes blearily. She was lying on the couch in the living room. There was a roaring fire in the fireplace that emitted a strong heat- almost too strong.

'Are you feeling alright?'

Selene looked to the other end of the couch at Alphard who was watching her. She saw that he had propped her feet up on his lap.

'Sleepy,' she mumbled, rubbing her eyes. 'What happened?'

Alphard pursed his lips.

'We were in the lake- one of your silly spontaneous ideas- and then you fainted.'

Selene furrowed her brow as she tried to remember.

'_Selene… where are you hiding? They're looking for you, Selene. My Death Eaters will find you…'_

With a gasp, Selene sat up.

'I should call a Healer,' Alphard said grimly, getting up and walking to the Wizarding Business Directory.

Selene's eyes widened.

'No!' she said, shaking her head emphatically. 'I'm fine. I really am. I just…'

She bit her lip. She didn't want Tom to torment her like this- to get inside her head whenever he felt like it. She knew she would surely go mad.

Constructing a smile, Selene went up to Alphard and kissed his cheek.

'I think it must be hunger,' she said calmly. 'How about we eat that forgotten dinner and get an early night?'

Alphard stroked her cheek.

'Are you sure you don't want me to call a Healer? I'm worried about you- it's not normal to faint like that.'

Selene kissed him.

'I'm fine. Tell you what- if I faint again, you can call a Healer. It was probably the extremes of the cold and heat that got to me. Honestly, I feel fine. Peckish, but fine.'

'Well we'd better get some food into you, then,' Alphard smiled as he led her to kitchen.

* * *

That evening, Selene couldn't sleep. After tossing about for most of the night, she gave up and went downstairs to the library. She smiled a little to herself as she looked at the plethora of books she had available to her.

'It's been a while,' she murmured as she ran her fingers along the leather-bound spines of the books.

She paused, and then picked a book out entitled 'Unusual Magick' by Wanda Leppikennen, and settled down in the leather armchair.

She barely noticed the hours passing by as she became engrossed in the book. As a young girl and student at Hogwarts, she would lose herself in books. They offered her an escape from the bleak reality of her life.

Now, reading reminded her of just how much knowledge she had- that she wasn't the simple-minded secretary or model she had been since leaving school, but the Dux of her graduating year.

* * *

'_Where will you be going today, I wonder?'_

Selene jumped up with a start. She looked about her twitchily. The voice had sounded so clear that she was frightened that Tom was lurking behind the bookcases.

Her breathing coming in erratic gasps, Selene slowly walked to the door, her wand at the ready. She was struggling with herself now-

Should she continue to ignore Tom and live in fear for the next time he would unexpectedly get inside her head, or should she confront him?

'_Remember, mudblood, they're out looking for you. I'll find you soon enough, don't you worry about that.'_

Selene locked herself in the bathroom and leant over the sink, her knuckles becoming white as she gripped on the basin tightly.

She let out a convulsive sob.

'I can't take it anymore,' she whispered. 'I can't live like this.'

Part of herself wondered if she should talk to Dumbledore about it, but then she shuddered at what Tom would think of her- he'd think he'd won.

And, after everything, Selene was determined that she would now show him the full extent of her powers. She wanted to _remind _him that it was _she_ who had overpowered him and won the Duelling competition, not he.

Smiling grimly, Selene turned the tap on and splashed the icy cold water on her face.

'_I'm not hiding from you, Tom,' _she thought, concentrating hard on making the connection to his mind. '_You don't scare me. I'm merely tired of your antics. I can't imagine why you'd want to meet me.'_

'_You and I have unfinished business,' _his voice snarled in her mind.

Selene snorted.

'_That we do. I need to give your sorry arse a good kicking. When and where?'_

There was a pause and Selene waited patiently. She felt adrenalin pumping through her body in her anticipation.

She was finally going to see Tom again. And, this time, he would not hurt her. Of that she was determined.

'_Hogsmeade- the Hog's Head. 6pm.'_

Selene paused. Firstly, he had chosen a time which would make it impossible for her to lie easily about to Alphard. And secondly, he had chosen a very public place such as Hogsmeade.

'_You're on,'_ she thought grimly.

But she didn't like it. Tom was up to something. As to what it was- she had no idea and wasn't looking forward to finding out.

Selene jumped. Alphard had come up from behind her and touched her shoulder to kiss her good morning.

'Oh Merlin, you startled me,' she gasped, dropping the frying pan she was washing.

Alphard frowned as he surveyed her.

'Did you sleep at all last night? You're terribly pale.'

Selene shrugged evasively.

'I think I might be coming down with a cold,' she shrugged.

Alphard sighed.

'I knew I should've called the Healer.'

Selene bit her lip and stared at Alphard. Suddenly, she felt a wave of sadness overcoming her as she realised that she would have to lie to him again about Tom.

And they had been far too happy for too long for her to throw her happiness away so wantonly.

She went up to Alphard and hugged him tightly to her, squeezing her eyes shut tightly.

'Are you okay?' he mused, pulling her away so that he could look at her.

Selene shook her head and looked at him seriously.

'No. Alphie, we've gone through a lot, right?'

'Yes,' Alphard said slowly, looking very perplexed.

'And we've survived it all. We're still together- we still love each other. Right?'

Alphard sighed and sat at the table, putting his head in his hands.

'You saw him again, didn't you?' he said bitterly.

Selene's shoulders slumped.

'What?' she said, confused.

'Riddle,' Alphard said, his tone harsh. 'You're trying to apologise for something and the only reason you'd be so apologetic was if you'd seen Riddle again.'

Selene crossed her arms indignantly.

'No I'm not! This has nothing to do with him. I was trying to figure out where you saw us _going_. We've been together for so long and been through so much together that I wanted to know if we were going to make any kind of _commitment_ to each other in the near future,' she snapped angrily.

Alphard's cheeks flushed suddenly, and he looked away, very quiet.

'I told you. I don't want to rush into all that. Not after how things turned out with Ada,' he muttered.

Selene sighed and sat at the table.

'I understand that, Alphie, I do,' she said earnestly. 'But I'm not getting younger. I'd like to have children some day and we can't put that off forever, you know? I mean… do you even see me as someone you'd want to commit to?'

It stung for her to have to ask the question, but she had to know.

'Y…yes,' Alphard said, sounding uncertain. 'I'm just… not ready for kids and all that, you know? We've still got heaps of time. We've been living so happily lately, why can't we just continue with that?'

Selene felt as though she'd been slapped. Ever girl she knew from her graduating year had been married- except for Muriel.

She blinked away hurt tears as she thought that any of the many boys who she had rejected at school would have asked her for her hand many years ago.

As opposed to still toying with the notion of marriage, as Alphard was.

Selene went to get up, but Alphard stopped her.

'Listen, I…. I'd like you to meet my family,' he said quietly.

Selene looked up at him, surprised.

'Your… family?'

He nodded seriously.

'Yes. It's something I've wanted for a while now. If you and I are to…. Well, _commit, _then I'll need the blessing of my family.'

Selene suddenly paled.

'But your family will hate me!' she said, her eyes wide. 'You yourself told me their motto was 'Toujours Pur'!'

'Yes, but I'm sure that once they meet you they will see past all that,' Alphard said stubbornly.

Selene shivered. She knew that, if Alphard's family knew the truth of her origins, they would welcome her with open arms.

But she was finding it difficult to even tell Alphard the truth when he was so vague about his commitment to her.

'We've been invited to dinner Friday evening,' Alphard continued, fixing his eyes on the pear in his hand in a bid to avoid Selene's horrified expression. 'I suggest you get a dinner gown from Malkin. Formal and on the conservative side, if you will.'

'So that's it, then?' Selene said, her voice shaking with anger. 'You don't care of my opinion of this disaster- it's go or get out?'

Alphard stood up and kissed her on the cheek before putting his plate in the sink.

'Don't be so melodramatic. It'll be fine- you'll see,' he said lightly.

And with that, he left the room without waiting for Selene to respond.

* * *

The day had turned out to be magnificently dreary. The sky was a bleak grey blanket and, every now and then, it would wring out torrents of rain.

A thunderclap boomed throughout Hogsmeade. Tom watched curiously as his teacup rattled on its saucer from the vibration of the thunder. When it ceased, he glanced up at the sky, his eyes vacant.

Something about the dreariness of the weather made him nostalgic. He rested his pale face against the cool windowpane, and a memory flashed in his mind—

_He was in sixth year, and he had been sitting in an empty classroom, studying. He looked up as he heard the hinges on the door creaking and saw Selene in the doorway._

_At this stage, she was pale and thin. Malkin had already gone and she was largely friendless. He noticed faint dark circles under her eyes._

_'I… I was just looking for somewhere to study,' she said vaguely. She looked exhausted._

_He merely looked back at her, saying nothing._

_'I'm interrupting, aren't I?' she whispered, looking down. 'Sorry, I'll… leave.'_

_She turned around quickly and left the room. Tom waited for a few seconds before making himself invisible and following her out the door._

_There was something about her behaviour that struck him as odd._

_It did not take long for him to find her. She was walking slowly. Suddenly, she came to a halt and leant against the wall, resting her head against it._

_Tom walked around her to see that she was crying, her shoulders shaking and hands white from where she was gripping the stone wall._

_'I can't be alone anymore,' she whispered to herself. 'Can't do this… can't…'_

_She sunk to the floor and put her face in her hands._

_'Why was I born? What's the point of me?'_

_Tom felt indignant as he watched her asking herself these questions. As much as he hated her, he also knew that she was an important person in the world- even if it was just to him. He could not understand why she didn't realise her importance- why she was calling herself worthless._

_Yes, he called her worthless on almost a daily basis, but that didn't mean she was. For a mudblood, she had made more of her situation more than anyone else he knew._

_He walked around the corner and made himself visible again, before walking back up to her. He cleared his throat smartly._

_She gave a quiet gasp as she looked up at him._

_'What do you want?' she asked miserably._

_'Are you trying to study on the floor?' he said in his customary cold tone._

_'Yes, Tom, that's exactly what I'm doing,' she snapped._

_'Well you're being very noisy about it,' he sniped back. 'And you're disturbing me.'_

_Her nose twitched and Tom wondered if she was about to start crying again._

_'You can study in my room so long as you're quiet,' he said suddenly._

_She looked at him, surprised. He himself frowned as he wondered why he had asked her to join him._

_'R…really?' she said._

_He held out a hand and, hesitantly, she took it as he helped her up._

_'You have to be quiet, though,' he said stiffly._

_He marvelled at how bright her eyes suddenly seemed. Without any warning, she kissed his cheek._

_'I'll be quiet, I promise,' she said, her cheeks tinged pink._

_Tom stood, rigidly rooted to the spot. He was partly outraged that she had dared kiss him, but also partly wishing that he could take her and kiss her properly instead of a measly kiss on the cheek._

_He closed his eyes for a moment and cleared his mind of these thoughts._

'My Lord?'

Tom opened his eyes to see Dolohov hovering by his armchair uncertainly. He was irritated at the interruption of his reverie.

'Did you knock?' he demanded.

Dolohov bowed his head.

'Yes, my Lord. Several times. We were starting to worry…'

'I dozed off. I'm a busy man and don't have much time for sleep,' he interrupted coldly. 'What is it?'

'It's her- the Asteria girl. We've spotted her making her way towards 'The Hog's Head'. Should we capture her?'

Tom stood up, filled with rage.

'Whatever for?' he shouted.

Dolohov let out a tiny whimper.

'We thought…'

'I arranged to meet her _at _the Hog's Head.'

'Yes, my Lord, but we thought it was a trick.'

Tom advanced on Dolohov, his eyes flashing dangerously.

'Fool,' he said softly. 'Do you think I would need _you _to trap a little mudblood for me?'

'No, my Lord. Not at all,' Dolohov said quickly, his face a white mask.

'Fetch me my cloak,' Tom snapped. 'And hurry. Tell the rest of the Death Eaters that they're to go back to London.'

Dolohov frowned.

'My Lord?'

Tom clicked his fingers and a Dolohov spasmed in pain.

'You dare question my authority?' Tom whispered.

'No, my Lord. Of course not.'

'Good. Then you will order the rest to go to London. Give them reign to torture muggles if they wish. You will fetch my cloak and remain here to serve me when I return. Is that understood?'

'Yes, my Lord.'

'What are you standing there gawking at? Get a move on!'

Dolohov sprinted out of the room and Tom smiled to himself. It was one thing, in the past, to have terrorised the children at the orphanage to do his bidding- but this was so much better.

These Death Eaters did whatever he said. Willingly.

Feeling giddy with power, Tom smiled as he found his most expensive robes and began dressing.

He was very much looking forward to this meeting.

* * *

He paused in the doorway as he saw her sitting at a table. She had changed since he last saw her. She was no longer pale and thin. She looked healthy.

And happy.

He glanced under the table to see that she was shaking her leg impatiently. He smiled to himself- she was evidently nervous about their meeting, and that was exactly as he wanted her.

'May I help you?' the barman said, coming up to Tom.

There was something about the way that he was watching him that Tom didn't like.

'No, thank you,' he said curtly.

He walked out of the pub and closed his eyes, concentrating on making the connection of their minds.

_On second thoughts, let's meet somewhere more private. There's an abandoned house around the corner with a lamppost in front of it. Knock twice and I'll let you in._

He knew she was too proud to question his request. He apparated to the store-room of The Three Broomsticks and summoned various foods and drinks to him, before apparating to the abandoned house.

It was a dirty little shack, but nothing Tom couldn't fix. With a few swift movements of his wand, he had not only cleaned the main room up, but made it look rather charming, with red brocade wallpaper, a roaring fire, and a large, formal dining table.

With another few flicks of his wand, the food was spread along the table, there were candles and silver cutlery.

_I'm here. _

He heard two knocks and flicked his wand. He wouldn't answer the door, it was beneath him.

He heard her hesitant footsteps through the entrance hall, and looked up as she walked in the room. Her eyes lit up, surprised, as she took in the room.

'For a dingy house, I didn't quite expect its interior to look like this,' she commented.

'I may have improved it a little,' Tom shrugged.

She looked up at him and, for the first time in years, their eyes met. As they did, Tom found it almost impossible to remember his design in meeting her. Even their greeting was too comfortable- there were no awkward hellos.

They knew each other too well for that.

Selene looked away, her shoulders sinking.

'I… I need to clear up something with you before we start,' she said quietly.

She glanced at the table, but instead sat on a red velvet armchair.

'You have done many terrible things, Tom. I know that. So, even if I _was _informing on you, I would be justified.'

Slowly, Tom remembered his reasons for asking her.

She looked up at him, her hazel eyes wide and honest, and he quickly forgot again.

'In many ways, I wish that was the case,' she said bitterly.

She paused and sighed wearily.

'The last time we met- I asked you to meet me. And you came. But we were interrupted. Do you remember?'

Tom desperately didn't want to remember but, as she sat in front of him, he found it impossible not to- how desperate her kisses had been, how tightly she had pulled him to her, the feel of her skin against his…

She nodded.

'You do,' she said. 'Well it so happens that, at that time, Dumbledore was asking for me to inform on you. He wanted me to seduce you into giving up information that I would relay back to him.'

Tom opened his mouth to speak, but Selene interrupted.

'That was what he had _asked_, but I refused to do it. In his distrust, he told Alphard not to trust me and to watch me. Dumbledore was certain that I'd find a way of contacting you and warning you. And he was right, wasn't he?'

Selene shrugged.

'That night,' she said slowly, 'Alphard followed me. I wasn't trying to set you up. I really meant it when I wanted you to take me away with you. I was dying, living in that environment with everyone spying on me.'

Tom looked at her long and hard and, suddenly, saw that she was telling the truth.

Suddenly, that made his life very difficult, because he no longer had concrete reason to hate her.

'Where are you living now?' he said. 'Are you married?'

Selene pursed her lips.

'No,' she said tightly. 'And I'm still with Alphard.'

She looked up at him, sighing.

'It's different now,' she said quietly. 'Very different.'

Tom snorted.

'People don't change, Selene. You're the same naïve little girl you've always been, I'm the same- and so is your Black. But, then again, I suppose it's useless to expect that a silly girl such as yourself could understand that.'

'No, I do understand it,' she said softly.

Tom looked up at her, surprised.

'I understand it very well, but at least I'm happy- for now.'

'Happiness,' Tom said distastefully. 'Tell me, are you _truly _happy? What is this 'happiness' that everyone is always searching for?'

Selene glanced at him and then traced patterns into her arm-rest, fixing her eyes on them.

'I don't know what happiness is,' she said quietly. 'But I don't think you or I ever will. When I'm with Malkin, I feel pathetic because I've achieved nothing with my life. When I'm with Alphard, I feel like we're on the edge of a cliff and the slightest gust of wind will push us off.'

She then bit her lip and looked up at Tom.

'And when I'm with you, I feel home,' she said plainly. 'When I'm with you like this, that is,' she said. 'When we're talking rationally and you're not in one of your mad rages.'

A look of sadness passed over her features.

'But when I'm with you like this, I also feel terribly sad. It almost hurts, that's how sad I feel…. Because I know that our worlds don't coexist. The only way I can dull that pain down is to forget all that you've done. But that's not who you really are anymore, is it?'

'No,' Tom said practically. 'I've done a great many things.'

'So I've heard,' Selene said darkly. 'And where have they got you?'

'Quite far,' Tom said lightly. 'I've been all around the world.'

Selene shook her head. She went to say something, but then sighed and sat back in her chair.

'Ah forget it,' she said tiredly. 'After a lifetime of trying to win you over to my point of view, I'm not going to change you tonight. You'll just get angry and then probably try torturing me or something. I don't think I can deal with that tonight. It's been too long a day.'

They sat in silence. The only sound was the howling of wind outside the hut and the crackles of the fire.

Eventually, Tom spoke. His tone was not high and cold, but rather gravelly-

'Would you like to eat?'

* * *

Nothing was said about what they had done in their time apart, or their situations now.

Instead, they discussed magic, pure magic; techniques for the best delivery of certain spells and the blocking of others.

'You know, I always found it much more effective to do the twirl rather than a swish and flick,' Selene said, sipping her wine.

Tom took out his wand, and tried it as she had instructed. To his surprise, the fire spouted from his wand was twice as large and intense as it usually was.

'Well, well, well,' he said, placing his wand down on the table and sipping from his own crystal glass. 'What do you know, your education wasn't a total waste.'

Selene looked down at her plate and pushed her leftover salad around. She looked forlorn.

'I…'

The grandfather clock chimed midnight, and they both looked up, surprised at how quickly the time had passed.

'I should get going,' Selene said, making no move to leave.

Tom nodded, also feeling that leaving would be wise but, as with Selene, also made no move to leave.

'You never told me why you wanted to see me,' Selene said, looking at him. 'I can't imagine it was for a pleasant evening like this. You sounded too threatening.'

Tom shook his head wearily.

'Never mind,' he said slowly. 'It wasn't important.'

'You wanted to hurt me?'

'Whatever it was, I've forgotten,' he murmured, draining the wine from his glass and pouring more into his glass.

Selene moved her seat closer to where he was seated at the head of the table.

'Somehow, I don't think Lord Voldemort forgets easily,' she whispered.

'Well be grateful in your pardon and question him no further,' he said, still avoiding her eyes.

He drained his glass again, and sighed, placing his head in his hands.

'Don't call me that,' he said, his voice strained. 'Not from you.'

'What?' Selene said, confused.

Tom looked at her, his face drawn.

'I'm not a normal person, Selene,' he whispered. 'If… If…'

He paused and rubbed his eyes tiredly.

'If you want me to treat you as I have tonight, you'll address me as you always have. I have no respect for those who grovel to me.'

Selene smiled.

'I was joking, Tom. You'll always be Tom to me.'

They sat in silence for a while longer, until Selene cleared her throat and stood up.

'I need to leave,' she said reluctantly. 'I…'

'What if you were to come with me now?' Tom said, suddenly. 'You asked me a few years ago. What if I say yes- now?'

Selene looked down.

'But Tom,' she said quietly, 'You know that it wouldn't be like this if I came with you.'

Part of her wished she believed in his ideologies on the purity of blood. It would make her life so much easier- she'd feel no guilt in doing his evil biddings, he'd know the truth of her bloodline…

But, despite everything, she had a conscience, and she knew she could never exist as Tom did.

Tom walked up to her slowly.

'Tell me,' he whispered. 'When you look at my face- do you see any change?'

Selene looked at him. He was still the same, handsome Tom she had always known him to be. Handsomer, with age, if anything.'

'You're older,' she said quietly. 'Better looking.'

Tom looked away, shaking his head.

'No you're right. You could never come with me,' he said bitterly.

'What if… you came with me?' Selene said quietly.

Tom shot her a quizzical look.

'You don't respect any of those around you, Tom,' she said, going over to him and taking his hand. 'Do you respect me?'

Tom gave a quick nod.

'This has been one of the best evenings I've had in so long, Tom,' she whispered. 'You and I- we're on the same page. We can meet halfway. We don't need to deal with anyone else's rubbish. Just think, Tom. You want to conquer the world, but we could do that another way- together. It doesn't have to be the way you're going about it now.'

'I don't like sharing,' Tom said brusquely. 'And you hate it when you're unacknowledged.'

Selene sighed patiently.

'And you're taking for granted that I could set aside my entire ideology for pleasant evenings which get me where? Nowhere!' he said, walking away from her.

Selene felt herself becoming fed up.

'It's because I'm muggle-born, isn't it?' she said, frustrated. 'What if I told you I wasn't? What if I told you I had the purest magical blood on earth? Would that change things?'

Tom smiled easily.

'It certainly would,' he said. 'But this conversation is ridiculous as it's all hypothetical.'

Selene opened her mouth, ready to spill out her secret, but the held her checked herself just in time.

'Never mind,' she sighed. 'I suppose it's just easy to forget how incompatible we really are- despite the fact that we're probably the most compatible people out there for each other.'

'So you'll go back to Black?' Tom asked, feeling jealousy clawing at his insides.

'Yes,' Selene said, fastening her cloak. 'And you to your mindless Death Eaters.'

Tom nodded slowly.

'It's best that way, you know?' he said softly.

'Yeah,' Selene sighed, looking pained. 'Yeah it is.'

They looked at each other, a little awkwardly.

'Well I'd best be off then,' Selene said, nodding curtly and making for the door.

Tom ran to catch up with her, reaching the front door before her. Selene looked up at him in the darkness, trying to fight off the longing that was knawing away at her insides.

'How are you getting home?' he asked her breathlessly.

'Apparating,' Selene replied quietly.

Tom nodded.

'Were you missed, this evening?'

Selene shrugged.

'Probably.'

'What will you say?'

'Any old story. That I was visiting the orphanage- anything. We had an argument today, so he won't be too surprised.'

She felt her cheeks becoming hot as he brushed his long, cool fingers along her cheekbone. From the way he was studying her face intently, she was certain he hadn't even heard a word she had said.

'You really do light up the dark hallway like the moon,' he commented. 'Selene… hmm.'

He smiled to himself, and then dropped his hand and placed it on the doorhandle. Selene felt her stomach churning with disappointment at the loss of contact.

'I would be very much obliged if we could spend an evening in a similar manner in the near future,' he said formally. 'It was a pleasant change.'

Selene clenched her fists as she was suddenly hit with the realisation that she was back again in the same impossible situation from her school days.

That same, terrible and twisted love triangle.

She reached for the door handle and took his hand off, it, opening the door quickly herself. She immediately regretted this action, as a gust of wind blew at them directly.

'We'll see,' she said abruptly to Tom. She saw the confusion in his eyes and, sighing with defeat, shut the door again.

It echoed down the hallway and they stared at each other, breathing heavily. Suddenly, they stepped towards each other, each grabbing at the other as their lips met hungrily.

Selene gasped as Tom lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he levered her against the wall as they continued to kiss frantically, the electricity far too strong after years of separation.

Selene sighed as she felt his cool hands brushing against the bare skin of his back.

She had lied to Alphard the day before. That was not the most she had enjoyed sex, but the most she had enjoyed it with _him._ For, once, she had experienced sex as she had never experienced it before, and that was with Tom. That time, her orgasm really had been a 'little death'. It had taken her to another world.

It made her think that sex and death were really quite related.

She smiled grimly as she wondered if that was perhaps why it was so much better with Tom.

As she felt Tom tugging at the sides of her underpants, however, something else in her snapped.

She took his face and, gently, broke their kiss.

'What—'

She kissed him again, softly.

'I can't, Tom. Not like this. We both can't.'

A look of confusion, and then anger passed over his features. Breathing heavily, he set her down on the floor and Selene quickly fixed her dress.

'You should leave,' he said abruptly.

Selene sighed. She knew from experience that reasoning with him would only anger him further.

Without another word, she opened the door and left. In an instant, she had apparated outside her and Alphard's house in Hall's Valley.

_What are you doing tomorrow night?_

She smiled to herself, feeling triumphant in her ability to read Tom's signals so well.

_I'm busy. I have a meeting with Malkin._

_Friday?_

Selene paused and thought for a moment. She then remembered that Alphard had said something about dinner with the Blacks on a Friday. Despite her reluctance to attend, she thought she owed it to their relationship to at least try.

_I'm having dinner with Alphard's family_.

She heard him laughing coldly.

_The Blacks? Letting a mudblood in their house? Good luck with that. You don't need a seer to tell you how that will pan out._

_I know. But he wants to and so I'm just going to go along with it._

Selene walked through the gate and sat on the front porch. It was cold, but she didn't want to enter the house with Tom in her mind like this.

_How about this time next week?_

He sounded irritable. Selene smiled in spite of him.

_Sounds fine._

_Same time, place._

And with that, she somehow knew he was gone. She rested her head against the wooden column, feeling exhausted.

'Flirting with disaster. Again,' she muttered to herself.

Yet, at the same time, she felt more alive than she had in years. She was certain that, so long as she kept their relationship at a distance, there would be doing nothing wrong by anybody.

'Might even be doing good,' she thought. 'Keeping him away from his evil designs for an entire evening has to be a positive thing.'

But, as she entered the house and saw Alphard, sitting on the stairs and waiting for her, she knew that it wasn't quite as good as she tried to pretend it was.

Quite the opposite. It was very, very bad.

* * *

**Now, my darlings, I think you've abandoned me. Or half of you have stopped reviewing. In a bid to restore faith in this story, I've done my best to update this much sooner than anticipated (and than you all deserve, really). **

**But I won't lie. I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I can, also, sort of understand why enthusiasm may have waned over the last few chapters. It's just not as exciting when Tom and Selene don't have any interaction, is it? Well, be rest assured that there'll be quite a bit more interaction from now on. The last few chapters were necessary for the plot and to get Tom and Selene- separately- to where they need to be at this point in the story.**

'_Mother, may I present Selene Asteria'_

AND

'_The Dark Lord seems in very high spirits today.'_

'_It's strange. Maybe he's getting some...'_

'_Some what?'_

'_Some… you know…'_

'_Muggle sport?'_

'_No, you fool. Sex. Maybe he's finally getting a good shag. He was missing last night and no one saw or heard from him all night. Dolohov was going out of his mind—'_

**Now, in order to get the next (very juicy) chapter, you will need to take a little stop-over at that button down there. It's a very pleasant little button. It opens up a nice box that gives you plenty of room to write to me about this chapter, and to politely ask for the next one!**

**Much love,**

**Anya**


	41. Chapter 41: Treason in my Breast

"_**I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, "Get the hell off my property."**_** – Joan Rivers

* * *

**

**Treason in my Breast**

'You! Where were you?' Alphard roared, staggering towards Selene drunkenly.

Selene saw the empty bottle of gin in his hand and swiftly summoned it to her.

'That's mine!' he protested.

'I think you've had enough,' she said replied.

She felt herself trembling as he walked up to her.

'Where… were… you?' he rasped.

'Out. You're drunk, you don't know what you're doing,' she said, hanging her cloak on the mahogany cloak stand. 'You should sleep.'

'No!' he shouted. 'I won't sleep. Because you—you're meant to be mine!'

He grabbed her arm tightly and Selene winced.

'Mine,' he growled. 'And you were out til the early hours of the morning with whom?'

'Alphard,' Selene said, feeling tears stinging her eyes. 'You don't know what your saying. Please, let go of my arm.'

Alphard laughed darkly.

'So you can slip away to your next lover?' he said, his eyes flashing manically. 'You see, my darling… my _cherie._ I love you so much. I worship the ground you walk on. There is _nothing_ I wouldn't do for you!'

He let go of her and staggered back, holding his arms out, palms open.

'Nothing,' he said simply. 'I'd do anything for you.'

'But you don't!' Selene shouted, feeling herself becoming angry. 'Because you don't want to marry me. You don't want me, you want me until your mother finds you another _Ada_!'

Alphard closed his eyes and swayed a little on the spot. Suddenly, he laughed hollowly.

'What a sharp little tongue you have, my darling. Quite the viper, aren't you?'

He paused and gulped, before speaking again- 'You know, it's a pity you're not pureblood.'

Selene clenched her fists.

'Because then you'd respect me enough to marry me?' she shouted.

'No,' he said calmly. 'Because then you could have achieved your life dream- you could have become Tom Riddle's whore.'

'You're really disgusting when you drink, you know that,' Selene said tearfully. 'I'm leaving.'

'Where will you go? At this hour?'

Selene laughed darkly.

'To my bed. _You_ can have the couch,' she said, picking up a vase and throwing it at him. She missed by an inch, as she hoped.

She pushed past him and stormed up the polished wood stairs.

'Want to know why I don't want to marry you?' he slurred after her.

Selene paused, feeling her heart pounding in her chest.

'Because I can tell. I can tell that you love him more than you could ever love me- that you'd do _anything _for him and yet need to think about what you'd do for me.'

His words echoed through the doorway and Selene felt her throat constricting with guilt.

Breathing shallowly, she continued to climb the stairs, slamming their bedroom door behind her.

* * *

The next morning, Selene was woken by a severely hung-over Alphard, shaking her.

'We have any hangover tonics?' he mumbled.

Selene sat up with a gasp. He frowned.

'What's _your _problem?'

'How can you say that to me after how you spoke to me last night?' she snapped, moving to the other side of the bed.

Alphard opened his mouth to speak, but then lunged for the bin and started retching in it.

Pursing her lips grimly, Selene summoned a hangover tonic and thrust it at him. He downed it eagerly, and then slumped against the wall, sighing wearily.

'What did I say last night? I don't remember any of it,' he frowned.

Selene crossed her arms.

'You called me a whore.'

Alphard winced.

'Shit… listen, I didn't know what I was saying. Whatever I said…'

'Is it true?' Selene said tearfully.

'Is _what_ true?' he said, confused.

'You don't want to marry me because you're scared that I really love Tom Riddle more than you?'

Alphard paled.

'I… I said that, did I?' he said, looking away and fidgeting with a thread that was coming off his shirt.

'Is it true?' Selene demanded.

Alphard shrugged noncommittally.

'No, course not,' he mumbled. 'I… look, we agreed to take all this one step at a time. Let's start with the family dinner on Friday, right?'

Selene remembered what Tom had said about the fated dinner and shook her head bitterly.

It seemed everyone but Alphard could see how terrible the idea really was.

'You need to stop drinking, Alphard,' she said tartly as she made her way to the bathroom. 'It's becoming a problem.'

'I don't even remember why I was drinking last night,' Alphard frowned. 'Weren't you with me?'

Selene faltered.

'I…. I was reading in the library,' she lied, looking away.

'I thought we were meant to go to the opera last night,' Alphard said, pulling out two opera tickets from his pocket.

Selene clenched her fists as she felt guilt washing over her.

'You were already drunk by then,' she said quietly. 'Excuse me, I need a shower.'

She shut the door behind her quickly and leant back against it, taking slow, deep breaths.

'What am I doing?' she whispered to herself. 'I can't… I can't do this to him, to us.'

She walked up to the bathroom mirror and looked at her reflection. She wanted to break the mirror as she looked into her eyes.

'Liar,' she whispered at her reflection, disgusted. 'You tell the truth to Tom- a cold-blooded murderer- and yet you lie to Alphard whose worst offence was slapping you when you were being unfaithful'

She tugged at her long, dark hair. In a way, she wished that she could see Tom when he wasn't with her- when he _was _that cold-blooded murderer.

Now, all she could see was the handsome man she had known since birth, who was brilliantly intelligent- and credited her for being intelligent too.

She groaned and sat on the side of the bath as she realised that was it—Tom treated her like an intelligent person, not as a mere 'woman'. He spoke of difficult magical concepts and never wasted his breath on frivolous conversation.

With Alphard, it was all frivolity. He simply wasn't capable of conducting five minutes of the conversation that she and Tom had the night before.

She closed her eyes.

'But he's a murderer,' she whispered. 'What part of that don't you understand?'

With a frustrated sigh, she turned the tap on and stepped into the scalding water.

* * *

Tom looked down the table and surveyed his Death Eaters as they waited for his command. It amused him that they feared yet revered him so much.

'Let the meeting begin,' he said, nodding to Dolohov who began writing the minutes.

'My Lord,' Nott standing up. 'We went to muggle London last night as you requested.'

'And?' Tom said boredly.

'We tortured and killed five families of muggles. We made certain to leave the Dark Mark in the sky after each murder.'

Tom looked up at Nott and furrowed his brows. This kind of conversation seemed so foreign; so mindless and brutal compared with the delicate and intelligent conversation he had with Selene, the night before.

'My Lord?'

He looked up and saw that Nott was awaiting his reply.

'Well done,' he said seriously. 'You rose to the occasion spectacularly. Did you come across any of the Auror taskforce?'

Kingston stood up and cleared his throat.

'If I may, my Lord, they were not aware of the massacres until this morning.'

Tom nodded.

'Ah yes, you are in the intimate circle of the Auror taskforce, Kingston. Very well. It is promising to our cause to know that the Ministry is so incapable of having a strong security force. You will continue to undermine the taskforce, Kingston.'

Kingston bowed his head and sat down next to Nott.

'My followers, you have done very well,' he said. 'But now we must target those who pose the more serious threat to our race- the mudbloods.'

There was cheering around the table, and Tom waited for a minute before holding up his hand.

'You are to compile a list of all the mudbloods in Wizarding England- it must be comprehensive- and, when you are done, bring it to me. Only then will we hunt down each of these scum who threaten to pollute our noble and pure race, and exterminate them.'

He felt his heart pounding in his chest as he said it. Yes, the evening before was pleasant, but it certainly never gave him the same rush that the promise of eternal glory and power gave him.

'That is all,' he said, making to stand up.

'If I may, my Lord,' Dolohov said, standing up uncertainly. 'May I enquire after your meeting with the mudblood Asteria? Did you exterminate her?'

For some reason, it never registered in Tom's mind that Selene would be on that list of 'mudblood targets'.

'That was a private meeting. Miss Asteria is a special case and will be dealt with only by myself. Is that quite understood?'

Dolohov sat abruptly, and all the other Death Eaters bowed their heads.

'Very well. You may all take next Wednesday off to tend to personal matters. Are there any other questions?'

No one spoke.

'This meeting is adjourned,' Tom said, standing up.

The other Death Eaters stood up hurriedly and, after glancing across the table warily, Tom swept out of the room.

…

'The Dark Lord seems in very high spirits today,' Crabbe muttered to Goyle as they walked out of the meeting.

'I know. He just gave us next Wednesday off. It's strange. Maybe he's getting some…'

'Some what?'

'Some… you know…'

'Muggle sport?' Crabbe said slowly, confused.

'No, you fool. Sex. Maybe he's finally getting a good shag. He was missing last night and no one saw or heard from him all night. Dolohov was going out of his mind!'

Crabbe frowned.

'The Dark Lord? Shagging?'

Goyle grinned.

'Oftentimes I've wondered… he's never been seen with a woman. Ever.'

'Unless torturing them, that is,' Crabbe pointed out.

'True,' Goyle said seriously.

'You two! Stop gawping around like a pair of Trolls!' Dolohov demanded.

As he came up to them, he frowned.

'What are you smiling about?' he said suspiciously.

Before Goyle could stop Crabbe, he leant forward and whispered in Dolohov's ear.

'You were what!' Dolohov exclaimed, outraged. 'That is utterly contemptible…'

But, slowly, a grin came to Dolohov's face and, before he could stop himself, he laughed.

'I'm sorry,' he said, shaking his head as he tried to compose himself. 'It's just… you know, I've never seen him with a woman either.'

'Who we talking about?' Mulciber said, joining the group.

'The Dark Lord,' Crabbe said, before anyone could stop him.

'What about him?' Mulciber growled.

'We think he's a virgin,' Crabbe shrugged.

Everyone else held their breath in anticipation as they watched Mulciber's expression change from indignation to curiosity.

'You know, I do believe you're onto something. I never thought of it before, but I have to say—I've never seen our Lord with a woman!'

'Did I hear my name?'

The group of Death Eaters froze, their jaws becoming slack as they saw their terrifying leader approaching them.

Tom scrutinised them with a hard gaze.

'Well?' he snapped. 'Why was my name mentioned?'

Crabbe opened and closed his mouth dumbly.

Annoyed, Tom fixed his gaze on Crabbe's eyes. His eyes as he heard Crabbes' thoughts-

'Dark Lord virgin, never shagged, oh Merlin stop thinking that you stupid dolt! He can read… virgin, virgin, he's a virgin. SHUT UP! Sweet Circe, he's going to crucify me…'

Tom raised his eyebrows.

'I will have the lot of you know that whilst I am _not _a stranger to carnal knowledge, I have much more important things to do with my time than devote it to the pleasures of the flesh. As should you all. Did I not give you enough to do in our meeting just now? Compiling a comprehensive list of every single mudblood in our country is no simple task.'

'Yes, my Lord,' they all mumbled, looking down at their feet.

'Then, pray, explain how you have found the time to sit about her chit-chatting?'

'We're sorry, my Lord,' they all mumbled.

'I should hope so,' he snapped. 'Now off you go- and don't let me catch you gossiping like old wives about me again!'

He couldn't help smiling as he watched how quickly they all scurried off in their different directions.

'Fools,' he sighed.

But they were right about something- he _was _in high spirits.

Despite his happiness, he felt an annoying nagging. Now that he had a little taste of her, he wanted more.

As he told her the night before- Tom Riddle doesn't like sharing.

Now he wanted her all to himself.

Exercising all his self-restraint, he apparated to Knockturn Alley. He had business to take care of.

* * *

Selene looked at her reflection in the mirror uncertainly. The dress Malkin had made for her was certainly beautiful- of gold silk covered with black lace. It had a high neckline and its long, fitted sleeves came all the way to her wrists while dark, South Sea pearls buttons fastened the dress together at the back.

'You ready?'

Selene turned to see Alphard dressed in formal dress robes.

She bowed her head.

Alphard sighed and walked over to her and cupped her cheeks in his hands.

'Look, tonight is important to me. Whatever happens, it doesn't change anything between us.'

Selene looked up at Alphard and saw that his grey eyes were watching her uncertainly.

'I wasn't quite under that impression,' she said, turning her back to him. 'I thought tonight was more a test that I needed to pass for you to finally commit to me—a test, which we all know I've already failed.

Alphard kissed the back of her neck.

'You know,' he whispered against her skin, 'You should try going into this with an open mind. I'm sure that if you're polite, they'll be nice back.'

Selene sighed and turned around and kissed him.

'Oh Alphard,' she said sadly. 'You can be so oblivious sometimes.'

She patted his cheek with her gloved hand and left the room, her dress swishing behind her.

…

Selene noticed that Alphard's hand was trembling as he reached out to the doorbell and pressed it.

He then turned to her and gave her a weak smile.

'It'll be good,' he said, nodding reassuringly.

They both straightened up as the door was opened by a tall, austere-looking woman, her greying-black hair swept back in a tight knot.

'Alphard,' she said, her tight mouth cracking into a small smile as she kissed her son's cheek.

Her smile dropped when her eyes fell on Selene.

'And you must me Sarah,' she said coldly.

Selene bit her tongue and forced a smile.

'Selene, actually,' she said through gritted teeth. 'Selene Asteria.'

Mrs Black merely raised an eyebrow and walked down the hallway, motioning for them to follow her.

'She'll warm up to you, I'm sure,' Alphard whispered to Selene.

'Of course,' Selene muttered, frowning as she took in the garish furnishings of Grimmauld Place.

'You were raised here?' she whispered to Alphard.

He nodded.

'Yes. This is my home. I'll show you my old room later,' he said, taking her hand and leading her to the main living room area.

Selene stiffened as she recognised Walburga who fixed her with an icy stare.

'Alphie, please don't leave me alone tonight,' she whispered.

He shook his head at her, grinning, and took her around the room, introducing her to various other members of the family. All of whom behaved to her in a similar fashion to Mrs Black.

Selene had never been more relieved to hear the words 'Dinner is Served.'

…

She was seated opposite Alphard, at the end of the table, and next to Walburga who made a point of ignoring her. Alphard himself was engrossed in conversation with Orion.

'You know, Alphard,' Mrs Black said, suddenly. 'We dined with the Littmans last evening. Their daughter, Emily, is a few years younger than you. Such a pretty girl, and still very single.'

'She remembers you, actually,' Walburga added. 'Perhaps you should call on them?'

Alphard pursed his lips and looked down at his plate.

'You know very well that wouldn't be appropriate,' he said quietly. 'But send her my regards.'

Selene felt her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

'Why ever not!' cried Mrs Black. 'You know, after poor Ariadne, Emily was my second choice for you.'

Selene stood up abruptly. Alphard shot her an apologetic look, and also stood up.

'I'm sorry,' he said quietly, addressing Selene. 'I should have realised that my family- who I _love_,' he said angrily, looking around the table, 'evidently don't love me enough to behave in a polite manner towards the woman I love.'

Selene turned on her heel and walked out of the dining room. She didn't want to hear any more, and she couldn't take any more humiliation. She felt that she'd surely let out her secret in her rage if she stayed any longer.

Just before she reached the front door, she was stopped by a voice—

'Miss Asteria.'

She stopped in her tracks and saw Mrs Black walking towards her. She could hear Alphard arguing with Walburga from the dining room.

Selene lifted her chin as Mrs Black reached her.

'You know, my son comes from a very noble and pure bloodline. He's a very eligible bachelor. Indeed, we can trace our line back to the sorceress Circe, herself.'

Selene couldn't help it. She started laughing.

'I'm sorry, do you find this funny?' Mrs Black said, sounding irritated.

Selene nodded.

'Yes,' she sighed. 'I do. Because if you knew just how closely related _I_ am to Circe, you'd kill yourself over how you behaved towards me tonight.'

'How dare you!' Mrs Black whispered. 'Such insolence for you, a mudblood, to presume relation to the great sorceress!'

Selene raised an eyebrow.

'I'll tell you what insolence is,' she whispered fiercely. 'It is for _you_- a cheaply diluted witch with a tentative hold on the Asteria bloodline to call me- Circe's own _daughter- _a mudblood. There is no blood on earth purer than mine, and you have insulted it in your very own '_Toujours Pur' _household.'

Mrs Black's face paled and Selene snorted and made for the door.

'So it's true?' she whispered, following Selene. 'The Asteria curse? How did I not make the connection earlier….'

Selene spun around, her eyes flashing.

'You _dare_ address me after your behaviour tonight?' she demanded.

Suddenly, Mrs Black's eyes widened and she clutched at her chest.

'Forgive me,' she gasped. 'Forgive…'

But Selene ignored her and slammed the front door behind her as she stepped into the night.

Nothing about the evening had been a suprise- she had, of course, rather hoped to keep her heritage a secret- but that didn't stop it from stinging.

As she walked through the dark street, her heels echoing on the pavement, she briefly contemplated going home, but decided she didn't want to see Alphard when he would surely return in a short while.

And that left her only one other place to go.

* * *

'My Lord, shall I bring your coffee?'

Tom looked up at Dolohov disinterestedly. He had been engrossed in 'Unusual Magick'- Selene's recommendation.

'Yes,' he said.

Dolohov bowed and left the room immediately.

Tom placed the book on the little table next to his armchair and walked over to the marble fireplace.

_Are you busy?_

He smiled to himself, but then caught his reflection in the mirror and immediately made his face impassive again.

_I'm always busy, what a silly question_

_Forget it, then. Sorry to bother you_

He rubbed his temples. He couldn't even understand how he had gone from wanting to kill her only two days ago, to smiling each time he thought of her.

_What is it?_

He waited with baited breath for her response.

_I'm at the hut. _

He didn't wait for Dolohov to return. Instead, he grabbed a fistful of floo powder and threw it in the fireplace.

He stepped out of the fire to see Selene lying across the armchair in front of the fireplace. He took a sharp intake of breath as he saw just how beautiful she looked in her gown of black lace, her dark hair sprawled across the rich red velvet of the armchair.

He noticed that her pale hand, which was dangling over the side of the armchair, had an empty wineglass in it.

As he neared her, he saw that her eyes were a little red, and her features drawn.

'I thought you had dinner with the Blacks tonight?' he said.

She gave a rueful smile and went to take a sip from her wine glass. When she saw it was empty, she tossed it aside and pointed her finger at the bottle of wine on the table.

Tom watched interestedly as it flew over to Selene. He had never been able to understand how she was capable of such feats of wandless magic.

Selene uncorked the bottle and drank directly from it.

'Wine?' she said, offering him the bottle.

He shook his head and sat on the floor in front of her armchair, resting his head against her.

'So what happened to your dinner with the Blacks?' he repeated.

'Been there, done that,' she said drily.

He closed his eyes as he felt her fingers toying with his hair.

'I take it the meeting didn't go as well as your beau had planned.'

'He was a fool to think it could go any other way,' Selene muttered. 'I don't want to talk about it.'

'What happened?' he persisted.

'They gave Alphard lists of eligible young ladies for him to visit and spoke as though I didn't even exist.'

'And what did _he _do?' Tom said, sounding amused.

'You think this is funny,' Selene snapped, taking her hand away and crossing her arms.

Tom felt a pang of annoyance at this loss of contact.

'What else could it be?' Tom said quietly, turning to look at her. 'It astounds me that a woman of your knowledge and powers could even _care _what a group of good-for-nothings think of you.'

Selene glanced at him and he saw that her eyes were tense. Slowly, she sat up and got up off the armchair, sliding down next to him floor next to him.

'But they're the kinds of people your ideology holds in high esteem,' she said quietly.

He brushed away a stray tendril of her hair.

'And they too are disgraces to noble blood. They're too concerned with their frivolities. They don't know _real _magic- they're satisfied to inherit old money and argue about little nothings in the Wizenmagot all day. Really, they're hardly wizards or witches at the end of the day.'

Selene turned away, her brow furrowed.

'I don't get it,' she said through gritted teeth. 'If that's what you think of them, then why do you hate muggle-borns so much?'

Tom pinched the bridge of his nose.

'Let's not get into that now,' he said stiffly. 'Just because you're an exception to my rule, it doesn't mean anyone else can be.'

And that was why Selene didn't want to tell him the truth about her bloodline- because she knew that he would take it to confirm that his ideology was true.

Selene sighed and looked at him, smiling now.

'Do you remember when we were little and how you stole my skipping rope?'

Tom glanced at her and nodded.

'And how I made you have a twitch until you gave it back to me?' she added.

'What about it?'

Selene shrugged.

'What about the time you left me on that rock. You were worried that I had died.'

Tom shrugged.

'And yet, last week, I think you wanted to kill me.'

Tom let out a frustrated sigh.

'It's- this- isn't easy for me,' he said, sitting up and looking at her intently. 'It goes against every thought and belief I have, and yet…'

'It's always been in you. You try getting rid of me, but then do everything in your power to keep me,' Selene finished.

Tom said nothing, but pulled her to him and kissed her lips softly.

She pulled away and looked up at him uncertainly.

'How long is this going to last?' she whispered.

'Why, is there somewhere else you'd rather be?' he said, looking affronted.

Selene laughed and reached over and touched his face. Her brow furrowed.

'Why are you surprised that I think you're handsome? It's obvious- everyone used to say it at school too.'

Tom looked away and Selene dropped her hand in her lap.

'I meant this- our meeting here like this- how long will it last. How long is it until you find reason to distrust me, or you decide you want to kill me again?'

Tom said nothing and Selene sighed.

'I've been reading that book you told me about,' Tom said. 'Unusual Magick.'

Selene looked at him and smiled.

'What do you think?'

'She puts forward some interesting theories,' he said. 'Though I disagree with her views on the best way of delivering vanishing charms.'

Selene raised an eyebrow.

'Oh? And how do you propose one should 'vanish' something?' she said, her lips twitching.

'Here,' Tom said, taking his wand and pointing it at the wine bottle. 'Now, the author said that one should mutter the incantation _first_ and then do the wand movements, but I think doing them simultaneously produces a stronger charm- the item remains vanished much more permanently.'

He performed the incantation both ways, on the two bottles.

'Now make them reappear,' he said to Selene.

Selene looked up at him, smiling a little.

'What?' he frowned.

She shook her head and turned to the bottles and performed 'Un-vanishing' charms. As Tom had predicted, the bottle he had charmed his way remained vanished.

'Hm, very clever,' Selene murmured, taking the bottle that had just reappeared and drinking from it. 'So you've learnt a great deal of magic over these past few years, then?'

Tom nodded silently, watching her.

Selene twirled her wand in her fingers.

'I'm quite out of practise,' she said, pacing the ground in front of him. 'Maybe we could duel?'

Tom pursed his lips.

'That would be a bad idea,' he said, getting off the ground and walking up to her.

Selene looked up at him, and he kissed her lightly and took the bottle from her and placed it on the table behind them.

'Why?' she said, pushing him away from him.

Tom crossed his arms.

'Because I won't fight fair.'

Selene shrugged.

'I don't mind. I want to see what I remember.'

Tom pushed her away and walked to the other side of the room.

'_This_ is your problem,' he said angrily. 'You're trying to provoke me. Why can't you be satisfied with spending time as we were before? Why try forcing me to _duel _you, when you know very well that I won't fight properly.'

Selene's shoulders slumped.

'What if we had one rule- just the one.'

Tom raised an eyebrow.

'No Avada Kedavra. That's it.'

Tom rolled his eyes.

'Why don't you remain happy with your previous win over me from School and forget this idea,' he said.

Selene shook her head.

'I want to feel what it's like to duel again,' she said, walking up to him, her eyes wide. 'To feel my powers running through my veins so strongly… I can see what you like about it, Tom,' she whispered. 'It makes you feel so very _alive_.'

Tom pushed her away and took out his wand.

'Don't tell me I didn't warn you how this would end,' he said, pointing his wand at her throat.

Selene merely smiled and Tom screwed his nose in disgust.

'Very well,' he said stiffly. 'But not here.'

Selene raised an eyebrow as she felt Tom taking her hand.

'Come with me.'

* * *

**I saw the film 'Agora' the other day and it gave me quite a bit of inspiration for this story. Not a bad film. Watch it if you can.**

**The next chapter's going to be quite big! I can't wait to write it out fully!-**

'_It's because of your mother!'_

_He looked down at his feet._

'_You're right,' he said quietly. 'It is because of Mother.'_

AND

'_If I win, you give your Death Eaters the week off.'_

'_And if you lose….'_

**What will happen? Ah the suspense of it all! If you want to satisfy your **_**uncontrollable urge **_**to find out what happens next, it's very simple-**

**Press that little button and write me a review. You all did so marvellously last time, it's simply a matter of continuing the good work !**

**Love, Anya**

**P.S Housekeeping: If you have Twitter, Tumblr, LJ, go on my Author's Page on this site and follow me (but you don't need an account to read and comment on my material on those sites)**


	42. Chapter 42: Rich in Beauty, Only Poor

"_**You know that when I hate you, it is because I love you to a point of passion that unhinges my soul."-**_ **Julie de Lespinasse

* * *

**

**Rich In Beauty, Only Poor**

Selene shivered as they walked onto the empty field. Her long, dark hair whipped about her face in the cold winter wind. Although the night was dark, the sky was illuminated by the large, full moon.

She paused for a moment and looked up at the luminous silvery orb.

'The wolves are out tonight,' she murmured.

Tom cleared his throat and she looked away from the sky. He looked eerily handsome in the light of the moon, his pale skin glowing against his onyx black hair.

'Are you ready?' he said clearly.

Selene nodded, feeling her throat constricting as her heart rate began to quicken. She drew her wand.

Tom suddenly lowered his wand.

'Can you even _fight_ in that dress?'

Selene nodded.

Tom paused, a small smile playing on his lips.

'Shall we make a wager?'

Selene opened her eyes.

'If I win,' she said slowly, 'You give your Death Eaters the week off.'

Tom pursed his lips, but then merely shrugged.

'Very well,' he conceded. 'But if you lose…'

Selene shivered as a gust of wind hit her. Tom walked slowly up to her until he was standing barely a foot away from her.

'If you lose,' he whispered, 'You leave Black. Forever.'

Selene took a step back.

'That's not fair,' she said coldly. 'I won't do it.'

Tom raised an eyebrow.

'Not so confident after all, are you?' he smirked.

Selene shrugged.

'If I make a deal, I will honour it. However, I refuse to make such a deal with you.'

Tom opened his mouth to protest, but then smiled.

'Forget it. I've got something better.'

Selene looked at him warily.

'Better?' she said in disbelief.

'Yes,' he nodded, closing the distance between them again and tracing her jawline. 'If you lose, I want you to torture me.'

Selene blinked in confusion.

'What?' she said blankly.

'I want you to torture me if you lose.'

Selene furrowed her brow.

'But… that's bad for you. Why would you make such a deal?'

Tom merely smiled coldly.

'That is my offer. Why I would make such a deal is for me to know and you to find out.'

Selene shook her head.

'You have some ulterior motive here.'

'Everyone has an ulterior motive, Selene. Don't give the human race so much credit. We're all selfish creatures, at the end of the day. Some less so than others, but no one does anything for nothing.'

Selene crossed her arms.

'My asking you to give your Death Eaters a week off isn't selfish,' she said indignantly.

'Oh, but it is,' Tom replied smoothly. 'Because every second in my presence is a struggle against your conscience. Asking me to give them the week off would ease your moral qualms and make you feel as though the time you're spending with me is worthwhile… and not as immoral as you know it is, deep-down.'

Selene cleared her throat, feeling irritated.

'Shall we?' she said coldly.

Tom laughed at her and took a few steps back.

'Do you still remember the rules?'

'Of course,' Selene said, closing her eyes as she felt a droplet of rain hitting the tip of her nose. 'I'm ready, Tom.'

Top took a deep breath and nodded.

'Very well then,' he said.

They looked at each other and then bowed slowly, maintaining eye contact the entire time.

As soon as they straightened up, they paused for a split second until Tom moved his wand so quickly that Selene didn't even see it coming.

In an instant, she was launched off the ground and came to a surprisingly soft fall, a few metres away.

She looked ahead to see Tom lowering his wand as he walked over to her.

'You see, ' he said quietly. 'We can't duel. At school, there were rules.'

Selene looked up at him, her chest rising and falling rapidly, from the ground.

'But in real life, Selene, there aren't rules. People don't fight fair. A few days ago, my Death Eaters killed five muggle families.'

Selene's eyes widened in horror.

'That's right- do you think they fought 'fairly'? No. Because, as you should very well know by now, life isn't fair.'

Tom opened his mouth to speak again, but was flung high in the air before coming to a crash on the grass.

Selene wiped herself off and walked over to him.

'That wasn't fair, now, was it?' she said angrily.

She saw Tom's lips twitch faintly and, the next thing she knew, they were engaged in a heated duel. Jets of curses and hexes were flashing every which way, fire lit up the night sky every so often and, occasionally, there would be a scream from Selene or a grunt from Tom as a curse actually hit them.

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning hit the ground between them, searing it. They both lowered their wands in their shock and looked to the sky.

There was a clap of thunder, so loud that Selene felt its vibrations in her bones, and then the heavens opened.

Rain poured so heavily that they could barely see through it to reach each other. Selene felt Tom gripping her arm, his hold slippery in the rain.

'Hold on,' he shouted over the rain.

Selene closed her eyes as she felt the unpleasant feeling of apparition. In an instant, they were back in the warm living room of the hut.

Slowly, Tom's hand slid from Selene's wrist as they stared at each other.

'How did I do?' Selene asked, her red lips unsmiling.

'Not bad,' he said quietly, tucking a tendril of her wet hair behind her ear. 'You're a little rusty, but you certainly haven't lost your talent for duelling.'

She saw him leaning forward and she quickly bowed her head down, exhaling slowly.

'It's late. I really have to get back,' she said quietly. 'I need to sort things out with Alphard.'

She could sense Tom stiffening. He moved back, ever so slightly.

'Very well,' he said, clearing his throat and walking over to the fireplace. 'Off you go.'

Selene chewed her lip.

'Did you really send your Death Eaters to kill five muggle families the night you were with me?' she whispered.

Tom turned to look at her, his dark eyes unapologetic.

'Yes. I've never pretended to be something I'm not to you, Selene. This is who I am,' he said coldly.

Selene shivered and sunk onto the armchair.

Tom looked away, but then became concerned when he noticed her shivering becoming more pronounced.

He walked over to her and knelt by her.

'You're cold,' he said practically. 'You need to take this dress off.'

'Don't touch me!' Selene said angrily, slapping his hands away. 'Just… leave.'

'You want me to leave you like this?' Tom said, sounding irritated.

'Yes,' she spat. 'If you're going to kill every other muggleborn and mudblood, then you should treat me the same.'

Tom held up his hands and then ran them through his dark, wet hair, struggling to keep his frustration in check.

'Don't do this, Selene,' he said, his voice wavering. 'Don't get into this. Nothing good can come of it.'

Selene stood up unsteadily.

'Just as nothing good can come out of our meetings like this,' she said scathingly. 'You can't even put your horrid business on hold for the evenings you meet me!'

Tom laughed hollowly.

'Selene, you expect to marry to Black. What hold do you have over me? What right do you have to command me as to when and how I conduct my business?'

Selene winced as she felt tears of frustration and grief stinging her eyes.

'I… I have to leave,' she mumbled, turning her back to him.

She took a sharp intake of breath as she felt his hands on her waist, pulling her back to him.

'What was so wrong with continuing as we were earlier?' he whispered against the shell of her ear.

Selene shut her eyes tightly as she felt his lips tracing the line of her neck.

'Because I'll never be able to be myself around you if I think that innocent people are being murdered at your command while I'm in your company,' she said, moving away from him.

She turned around and saw that Tom's features were drawn. She took a sharp intake of breath and rested her forehead against his.

'You have no idea how much I wish you had different beliefs, Tom. If I could have but one wish in this world, it would be that.'

She closed her eyes and tears spilled down her cheeks as she pressed her lips against his.

It was so torturous to her. She never wanted anyone or anything in her life more than she wanted Tom, but she knew she could never have him so long as he was taking innocent lives.

With a gasp, she pushed Tom away and disapparated before she could change her mind.

* * *

Selene felt numb as she walked through the lonely corridor of the orphanage, pausing as she arrived outside her old room.

She felt sadness welling up inside her chest as she saw four little girls sleeping in a row. She looked to her old bed and saw a dark-haired girl, her long locks hanging off the end of the bed as she pulled the white sheets more tightly around her.

Mesmerised, Selene walked over to the cot and knelt by the girl. Her brow was furrowed and, every now and then, she gave a quick toss of her head, as though dreaming of something unpleasant.

Selene raised her hand and touched the girl's brow, smoothing it gently.

Suddenly, the girl relaxed. To Selene's shock, the girl reached out and took her hand, hugging it to her chest.

Biting her lip, Selene tried to withdraw her hand, and froze when she saw the girl's eyes opening sleepily.

Confusion clouded over her eyes.

'M…mother?' she whispered.

What Selene felt, at that moment, was indescribable. Even though she wasn't this girl's true mother, she had an intensely fierce yearning to look after this child- to be the mother she never had to this poor little orphan girl who looked so like her.

'Yes,' she whispered. 'I'm here.'

The girl's eyes widened and Selene saw the painful joy in the girl's eyes.

'You're… here?' she whispered, tears welling in her eyes.

Selene smiled painfully and leant forward and kissed the girl's forehead.

'Yes, my darling. I'm here. I'll look after you,' she whispered, kissing her forehead again. 'Sleep, now.'

The girl smiled sleepily and, hugging Selene's hand even more tightly to her, closed her eyes again.

Selene watched with a mixture of curiosity and longing. In a way, she felt as though that girl was more her child than any biological child she could ever produce.

And she knelt by the girl all night. It was only when she saw the sun's rays appearing through the cracks in the morning sky that she reluctantly stood up and slowly slid her hand from the girl's grasp.

With a smile, she leant forward and kissed the girl's forehead one last time before leaving the orphanage.

* * *

'Alphard?'

Frowning, Selene searched about the house, but found no sign of Alphard about it. Indeed, their bed was still made as she had made it the morning before, and the house was exactly as she had left it the night before.

Confused, Selene began to wonder if Alphard had even come home at all.

She jumped when she heard the front door closing.

'Alphie?'

She ran to the door to see Alphard, still in his dress robes, walk through the entrance hall wearily.

'Didn't you come home?'

He shook his head numbly and went straight to the liquor cabinet.

'No,' Selene said, softly but firmly blocking his way. 'It's barely 8am. You can't be drinking already.'

Alphard looked up at her, his grey eyes morose.

'Mother died last night. I've been at the hospital all night with the rest of my family waiting to see if there was anything that could be done.'

He snorted bitterly.

'And now everyone is saying that _I_ caused her death- that the shock of my bringing a mudblood to her house finally broke her.'

Selene felt her blood chilling.

'What did you just call me?' she whispered, her lips turning white.

Alphard waved a hand and pushed past her and took out a new bottle of gin.

He downed an entire tumbler-full in one, as though it was water.

'Just… I need some time alone today,' he said, holding out a hand and walking up the stairs. 'Excuse me.'

Selene stared after him, stung. Whilst she could understand that he was upset at the death of his mother, she felt it was completely inexcusable for him to treat her in such a rude manner.

Fed up, she picked up her cloak and disapparated.

* * *

'Merlin, you're still wearing my dress…. And what on earth happened to it! What were you doing? Duelling?'

Selene shrugged.

'In a manner of speaking,' she muttered, sinking onto Malkin's couch.

Malkin sat next to her, her eyes wide—

'They didn't try duelling you in the _house_, did they?'

Selene laughed hollowly.

'No, course not. I left. It was raining and I sort of got stuck in a bush on the trek home.'

Malkin frowned.

'Haven't you heard of a thing called apparating, Selene?' she snapped, eyeing her ruined creation with distaste

'I'm sorry,' Selene said apologetically. 'I'll buy the dress from you.'

'Don't be ridiculous,' Malkin said, summoning tea. 'I was merely fond of the design. I thought it was something you could perhaps wear a few times.'

'Sorry,' Selene said sheepishly as she took the teacup Malkin handed her.

'So what happened?' Malkin said quietly.

Selene's nose twitched as she remembered how Alphard had spoken to her that morning.

'It was worse,' she whispered hoarsely. 'The house- I could deal with that. I simply left.'

'What did they do?' Malkin asked, her eyes wide.

'Ignored me and gave Alphard a list of girls whom he should consider as 'eligible matches'.'

Malkin winced.

'Ouch.'

Selene nodded.

'So what happened after?'

'I left the house,' Selene said slowly, chewing her lip as she remembered her evening with Tom, 'and then I went home. What else could I do?'

Selene paused.

'And then he came home this morning and said that his mother had died. I know he blames me for it. He even said so himself- that his bringing a 'mudblood' to his family house had caused her death.'

Selene's shoulders slumped miserably and Malkin hugged her tightly.

'Florean! We need your emergency fix.'

Florean's head appeared in the doorway, from the kitchen.

'All right, Selene?'

Selene shrugged miserably.

'Now!' Malkin shouted at him.

Florean rolled his eyes and disappeared behind the door again.

Selene sniffed and looked up at Malkin.

'You have no idea how much I wish I had what you two do—you love each other, and it's so uncomplicated.'

Malkin cleared her throat.

'It's certainly not uncomplicated.'

Selene shook her head.

'Try having my relationships, and then you'll think yours with Florean is as simple as it gets. I don't care about arguments, or any problems that we might have…. But it'd be nice to know that, at the bottom of it all, he loves me and I love him unconditionally. And that love is enough to make us want to fight for each other- to overcome those obstacles.'

Malkin smoothed back Selene's hair.

'But you have that, don't you?' she whispered.

Selene shook her head.

'No. We never have. There's always been _something_ between us. We don't have that deep trust in each other. Actually, there's very little trust between the two of us.'

'You don't trust Alphie?' Malkin frowned.

Selene shrugged.

'How can I? I'm constantly waiting for him to go running back to his family because he's too spineless to commit to me and me alone.'

'And why doesn't he trust you?'

Selene stood up, feeling very irritated.

'Because I don't give myself to him fully. I don't tell him all my little secrets- but how can I, Malkin? How can I be committed and honest with him, when he himself refuses to do the same for me?'

Malkin chewed her lip.

'So you're both going to stubbornly wait for the other to yield?' she said quietly.

'You don't understand,' Selene said darkly, walking over to the chair and slumping back into it. 'He's never going to commit to me fully.'

Malkin stared at Selene silently for a moment, and then sighed.

'Then you should leave him, Selene,' she said quietly. 'You can't waste your time with him if you know that it's not going to work out.'

Selene hesitated.

'It's not… I shouldn't have said it so _definitely_. I mean, it' very possible that we'll settle together. I just…. I feel confused and I think he does too, now,' she said defensively.

Malkin threw up her hands.

'I can't tell you what to do, but that's what I think,' she said sadly. 'As your best friend, I want you to know that I think you deserve much better than what he's putting you through.

_You are angry with me. I know. Meet me tonight. I have a deal for you._

Selene gasped and shut her eyes tightly.

'Are you alright?' Malkin said, looking concerned.

Selene shook her head and forced a smile.

'Yes, yes… just got a bit of a headache,' she said quietly. 'If you don't mind, I think I'll go know. I should get some rest.'

Malkin stood up and walked Selene to the door.

'I think that'd be for the best,' she said soothingly. 'And whatever you need- I'm here for you. Whenever you need me.'

Selene smiled and hugged Malkin tightly.

'Thanks, Malkin. I think I'd go crazy if I didn't have you.'

'Likewise, hun,' Malkin said, kissing Selene's cheek. 'Take it easy, okay?'

Selene nodded and, with a final hug, disapparated.

* * *

Selene returned to the house to find that the liquor cabinet was empty. Apprehensively, she ventured up the stairs and found Alphard on the floor of their bedroom, lying next to a pool of his own vomit.

Selene felt both repulsion, but also pity for Alphard at that moment.

'You poor, lost boy,' she whispered, clearing the vomit with a swish of her wand and kneeling by him.

She raised his head and rested it on her knees. He groaned weakly as he nestled his head against her lip.

'You're just a boy,' she said quietly. 'You refuse to grow up, and that's why I can't leave you… or hate you. I understand that now.'

She bent over and kissed his forehead, before levitating him onto the bed. She changed his shirt to a cleaner one and smoothed down his hair as she kissed his forehead again.

She marvelled how someone as innocent looking and naïve to the world could cause her so much heartache and pain. It made no sense- he should be harmless.

'Selene?' he mumbled.

'Yes?' she whispered, lying next to him and touching his face lightly.

'I'm sorry.'

'It's okay, you were upset,' she whispered, brushing a strand of his black hair out of his eyes.

'I'm sorry about the way they treated you. I should have listened to you.'

Selene kissed him.

'You should have, but I understand why it was important to you all the same. That's why I came. You did the right thing- giving them the benefit of the doubt.'

Alphard sniffed.

'I was wrong,' he said, sounding pained. 'If I hadn't been so stupid, mother might still be alive.'

'Sh,' Selene whispered, hugging him to her. 'Alphie, it wasn't your fault. If she died, she must have been sick. It was only a matter of time.'

Alphard shook his head, gasping as tears streaked down his cheeks, and Selene hugged him to her closely.

'Just… sleep,' she whispered. 'Do you want me to give you a potion for dreamless sleep?'

Alphard hesitated, and Selene summoned the vial and handed it to him. He downed it in one, and closed his eyes sleepily.

'I love you,' he murmured as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

Selene watched him for a while, and then sighed and kissed his forehead.

'I love you too. I only wish you'd make it easier for me to feel that choosing you is the right decision,' she murmured, closing her eyes tiredly.

* * *

Tom had been in a foul mood ever since his last meeting with the Death Eaters, and they could all instinctively sense it.

'Maybe she's denying him,' Goyle muttered to Crabbe, as they watched him order for ten muggle families to be murdered.

'A woman- deny the Dark Lord? I don't imagine he'd put up with it.'

'Hm,' Goyle said. 'You have a fair point. Whatever it is, he's in a right mood, I tell you.'

Crabbe nodded, his eyes wide.

'The other night, he returned from wherever he went and destroyed the entire living area, according to Dolohov.'

Goyle gasped.

'That angry? You'd think he'd just go torture a few muggles instead.'

'He killed a cat…. But I think that was because he caused a dresser to fly out the window and the poor graymalkin was caught in the crossfire.'

Goyle rolled his eyes.

'Crabbe, you yourself helped me torture two muggles last night. How can you honestly feel pity for a cat?'

'Cat's are magical creatures,' Crabbe said seriously. 'Unlike Muggles.'

'You two!' Tom commanded from across the room. 'Enough quibbling. I believe you have something for me.'

Crabbe and Goyle scurried over to where Tom was sitting in his high armchair and bowed slowly.

'Yes, my Lord,' they murmured.

'Well?' Tom snapped impatiently.

'My Lord, we have compiled a list of every single mudblood living in England.'

Tom raised an eyebrow.

'Every _single_ one?' he said, raising an eyebrow. 'Are you sure?'

Crabbe and Goyle gulped nervously.

'Because,' he said silkily, if you were to have _forgotten_ a mudblood, that would have a disastrous effect on our cause. For which you would pay…'

He paused, and smiled cruelly.

'Most direly,' he whispered.

Crabbe and Goyle shivered. Eventually, Goyle spoke-

'My Lord, we are confident that this is the full list.'

Tom surveyed them for a moment, before waving them away.

'Very well, then. Leave me.'

Quickly, they hurried out of the room.

Tom sighed and sunk into his armchair as soon as he heard the door shutting. Tiredly, he rubbed his eyes and glanced through the many sheets of parchment.

And there, at the very end of the list, he saw her name- taunting him:

_Selene Asteria_

Tom cleared his throat and tossed the list aside.

'You're right,' he said softly, looking into the glowing fireplace. 'I should start treating you like the common mudblood you are. If they are to die, so shall you.'

His lips set in a grim smile as he poked at the embers and sat back in his chair, savouring the heat as it washed over him, warming his cool blood.

* * *

**Housekeeping: **

**1) I'm off to England next week, and won't come back until August. While I'm there, I won't have the chance to update. That means I_ may_ update before I leave next week (if you're all extremely lucky), or when I get back.**

**2) I'm writing a little story under a different pen-name on this site. It's called 'Anna Jones's Diary'… just a bit of comic writing relief for me (and hopefully for you!). I've added it to my Favourite Stories for convenience (not because I love it SO much that it's my favourite story on this site!)**

**But please do check it out and leave a review if you can!

* * *

**

**Now! Some juicy appetizers from next chapter to whet your appetite-**

'_It's Selene. I think she's seeing Tom Riddle again.' - ?_

'_I want to adopt her.' - ?_

**And now that your gastric juices have been stimulated, order the next chapter through a review!**

**Love, Anya**


	43. Chapter 43: Never Let Me Go

**_"Thou villain Capulet, -Hold me not, let me go."_- Romeo & Juliet, Shakespeare**

* * *

**Never Let Me Go**

_Selene Asteria graduated Dux of her Hogwarts year. In the sixteen years since her graduation, she been a secretary and a model. Both these jobs were short-lived. _

Selene paused and then wrote-

_She is currently doing nothing. At 33 years of age, she is unmarried, with no children. _

Selene grimaced as she read over the paragraph. It was physically painful for her to read just how pathetic her life's achievements were.

'I'm thirty-three,' she whispered, tugging at her dark hair. 'How? What have I been _doing _for the past _sixteen years_?'

She took a sharp intake of breath. 'Sixteen years,' she repeated. 'Sixteen bloody years!'

She stood up suddenly and began pacing the length of the library, frowning in concentration.

'Right,' she said practically. 'I can't keep waiting for Alphard to sort himself out. I need to be more forceful or leave him once and for all.'

But then she felt a tug in her chest at the thought of being alone, once again, and she then realised exactly why she had achieved so little since leaving school.

'Always alone,' she murmured, sinking into the armchair. 'Orphan.'

She stared out of the window at the gray sky and thought back to her visit to the orphanage, only a few nights ago. She had felt a very true connection to that girl- almost as though she saw herself in her. She smiled as a heartwarming idea came to her-

'I'll adopt her,' she said, her face lighting up.

And, as she imagined a home with that little girl, being her mother, she realised _that _was what she was missing—a child.

She bit her lip as she thought of what Alphard would say but then decided that if he refused, she would leave him and adopt the girl as a single mother. It was hugely unorthodox, but she didn't care. Neither would have to be alone, ever again.

Selene sat up as the candlelight on the desk flickered. Suddenly, there was the sound of the front door slamming from downstairs

'Alphie?' she called out.

He didn't respond, and so she hastily incinerated the parchment she had written on and walked down to the living room. She chewed her lip as she saw him, sitting in his armchair, looking pale and haggard.

'How… how was it?' she asked cautiously.

He laughed hollowly.

'It was a fucking funeral. How do you think it was?'

Selene wrung her hands behind her back and sat tentatively on the couch. She stiffened as he suddenly threw his tumbler of whiskey. For a moment, she thought he was throwing it at her. Instead, it smashed to hundreds of crystal shards in the fireplace.

She closed her eyes as he stood up and felt her throat constricting as she could smell the scent of cheap perfume and strange smoke on him.

'Where have you been?' she whispered.

'At my mother's funeral,' he said harshly as he walked over to the drink cabinet and poured out more whiskey in a fresh tumbler. 'Where do you fucking think I've been?'

Selene sat very still. She felt furious that she had wasted the past sixteen years of her life on someone who was behaving as Alphard was.

'Please don't drink anymore,' she said quietly.

'You're not my mother,' Alphard said angrily, swilling down the contents of his tumbler.

Selene could no longer contain her anger.

'But you never listened to her, either,' she shouted, standing up. 'You don't listen to anyone who says anything you don't want to hear! Your mother mayn't have wanted you to be with a muggleborn, but I know she wouldn't have wanted her son to end up a pathetic drunkard either.'

Alphard set down his tumbler and walked over to her, his eyes unfocused.

'What did you call me?' he whispered dangerously.

Selene took a step back and swallowed. She couldn't help feeling frightened.

'A drunkard,' she continued. 'You've always been on some substance or other, haven't you? It was Vice in school, opium when we finished… now you drink yourself into a stupor every evening. When…'

She let out a faint scream as he suddenly stepped forward and pulled her to him violently. She flinched as he leant forward and kissed her. It was wet and messy and Selene could taste the alcohol in it. She tried to pull away from him.

'You live in my house,' he said in a low voice. 'Don't tell me what to do.'

Selene pushed him away roughly.

'I can't do this,' she said, tears pricking her eyes. 'I've had enough.'

'You… you…'

Alphard trailed off, blinking slowly, before falling back on the couch. Selene looked at him in disgust as she he emitted a faint snore.

'It's over, Alphie,' she said angrily. 'It was over sixteen years ago, but I was too afraid to have no one else to counter Tom. I don't care anymore. I'm giving up on both of you. I've wasted sixteen years of my life, and yet you're both still the same.'

Shaking her head, she walked out of the room.

* * *

_I need to see you. It's important._

Tom shook his head and continued to write his essay on blood purity.

_I know you can hear me. Stop ignoring me._

He gripped his quill and the nib scratched squeakily as he pressed it harder against the parchment as he continued writing.

_Tom_

Suddenly, the nib broke and ink spilled all over the parchment. With an angry shout, he stood up suddenly, his chair crashing to the floor behind him.

The door to his study opened suddenly and Dolohov appeared, concerned.

'My Lord, are you alright?'

'I'm fine,' Tom spat venomously. 'Leave me!'

Dolohov hesitated for a moment, but then bowed hastily and shut the door behind him.

Tom ran a hand through his hair as he sunk down onto the couch.

_Tom, I need to see you. _

He stood up again, his face contorted in fury.

'_But you never respond when I want to see you_,' he thought angrily. _'__It's only whenever it suits you.'_

_I'm sorry, Tom._

He screwed up his nose. He didn't like her apologising.

_Meet me at the house in five minutes. _

He glanced at the clock. Muttering oaths under his breath, he grabbed his cloak and wand and disapparated without another moment's hesitation.

…

The house was empty when he arrived but, true to her word, she arrived five minutes later.

He stood up, clenching his fists in his anticipation as he heard the clink of her heels through the front hall as she made her way to the dining room.

Part of him wanted to end his suffering once and for all. It was so easy to murder the others, yet muttering that one incantation to snuff her out seemed the most impossible thing in the world. And, as she walked through the door, it became very apparent to him why this was so.

It was her beauty. Not the beauty of her face and body, although they were beautiful, but the beauty of the pain of their life and loneliness, etched upon her face as she watched him with her unforgiving hazel eyes, that made her irresistible to him.

And that was when the other part of him took over. The part of him that wanted her to dominate him completely. For her to control him completely.

She took off her heavy cloak of blue velvet and tossed it on the couch. His eyes flickered down to her emerald green dress as she slowly walked up to him.

'You… you wanted to see me?' he said weakly.

She nodded, unsmiling.

'Yes. Sit.'

He shivered a little at her authoritative tone and sat on the armchair behind him.

'You're not going to try making any sense of what happens today,' she continued. 'It will never be spoken of again, do you understand?'

'What…'

'Sh,' she whispered, leaning forward and brushing his lips with hers as she hitched up her dress and straddled him.

His breathing came hard and fast now and he quickly licked his lips.

'Selene, what…'

She laughed darkly and kissed him again, this time more forcefully.

And then he lost any reservations and pulled her more closely to him as he fumbled for the buttons at the back of her dress.

'Just rip it,' she whispered harshly against his lips.

He felt a wave of pleasure washing over him as the sound of ripping silk filled the room. She watched him, a dark smile twisting her lips, as he tossed the green fabric aside and feasted his eyes on her naked form.

'Do you like what you see, Tom?' she asked, her voice mocking.

He kissed her collarbone and she let out a hiss.

'Yes,' he murmured. 'Yes, I do. To me, you are perfection. I don't know why, but you have this impossible hold over me.'

She raised an eyebrow.

'Even if I was to hurt you?' she said, her voice mocking.

'You can't,' he said, kissing her left breast. 'You never do.'

He groaned as she got off him.

'Where are you—'

He faltered when he saw her walking across the room and picking up her wand. She wore a cruel smile as she slowly walked back to where he sat, her perfect figure glowing in the light of the fireplace.

'A few days ago, you asked me to torture you should you win our little duel,' she said, fingering her wand in such a way that Tom couldn't help shivering.

'Y..yes,' he said slowly.

'I don't think there's any doubt in either of our minds that you would have won had that storm not interrupted us,' she continued. 'So I think it's time I held up my end of the bargain.'

Tom gulped and Selene raised her eyebrows.

'Oh, but you're not _scared_ are you, Tom?' she drawled, twirling her long hair with her wand.

He shook his head and Selene laughed and flicked her wand. He shouted as he felt the most excruciating pain radiating down his spine, through to his extremeties. It coursed throughout his entire body, slowly reaching his head where the pressure of the pain built up to an unbearable level.

Selene walked up to him and ran a finger slowly down his chest as he convulsed in pain. She kissed his lips lingeringly.

'Does that hurt, Tom?' she whispered in his ear. 'I want it to hurt. I want you to feel pain.'

He opened his mouth, but no words came out. Suddenly, the pain was gone and he fell to his knees, gasping for air. She knelt by him to be at his level.

'Do you still think I don't have it in me to hurt you?' she repeated, her eyes hard.

He shook his head, still reeling from her curse. He had found an intense pleasure in it. Not in the pain, but in the huge relief he experienced when she finally lifted the curse.

He turned to her and she pulled him to him suddenly and kissed him.

And that, there, was like a magic potion, healing him of any remnants of her torturous curse.

He pulled her to him forcefully and pushed her down on the ground and kissed her again. He gasped as she tugged at his hair so hard that it hurt while she dug her nails with her other hand so deeply into his back that would have shouted out in pain had she not been smothering his mouth with her kiss.

They rolled over so that she was on top and he winced as his back lay against the abrasive carpet. His eyes widened as he saw his blood on her hand. Slowly, she brought a finger to her mouth and ran it across her lips, his blood staining them red.

With a twisted smile, she leant forward and kissed him again. He could taste his blood on her lips and, suddenly, he could wait no longer.

The wait was more torturous than anything she'd done to him that evening.

He ripped her panties and couldn't help smiling as he heard her moaning against his throat.

'I need you, Tom,' she growled.

He didn't need any more instruction. In one swift movement, he hitched her leg over his waist and…

'Master?'

Blearily, Tom opened his eyes and sat up, rubbing his neck that was stiff from having slept on his desk all night.

'What is it,' he growled.

He felt that it was grossly unfair that his dream was interrupted at the most inconvenient moment.

'Are you alright?' Dolohov called tentatively. 'Would you like me to bring you anything.'

Tom stood up in a rage.

'If I want you to bring me anything,' he shouted. 'I'll summon you. Now leave me!'

'Yes Master,' Dolohov replied hurriedly.

Tom went over to the couch and lay across it, rubbing his neck. He looked down to see that, while his mind had woken up from his dream, his body was still reacting to it.

He picked up a cushion and put it over his face to muffle his frustrated shout. No matter how often, or how well he always tried to convince himself to forget about Selene- or that she should die along with all the other muggles on his list- he always found himself reneging his decision.

And the dreams were the worst because he had no control. He always submitted to her will, and she always dominated him wholly in them.

What was worse was that he enjoyed it. No, it brought him more pleasure than anything else- even his magical discoveries- had ever brought him.

Yet when he woke up, he always felt unsatisfied and ashamed.

'Whore,' he muttered.

But as the word escaped his lips, he knew it was wrong. There was a reason why those events only happened in his dreams, and that was because she _wasn't_ a whore.

'This has got to stop,' he muttered irritably as he sat up and rubbed his bloodshot eyes. 'It has to end.'

And yet he knew that it would never end until his dreams became a reality. What frightened him was that, should his dreams be realised, he would never be able to let her go.

* * *

Alphard winced as he saw the empty wardrobe. He then looked and saw her packed trunk at the end of her bed.

Nonetheless, she was still there, sleeping in their bed. She probably decided that she would leave this morning rather than venturing out, alone, in the middle of the night.

Alphard wondered how much time he had before she would wake up and decided he had to work quickly.

He began by putting all her clothes back where she usually kept them. He was a little unsure of her usual order, but thought it looked just about right.

He then hid her trunk, and set about tidying the living room and kitchen of the debris he left from the night before.

But he knew he would have to do more than that to even have a chance at appeasing her. He briefly flirted with the notion of cooking breakfast for her, but then decided that it would probably end disastrously and thus settled by apparating to the best patisserie in London, and bringing back an array of pastries for breakfast instead.

…

Selene entered the kitchen, looking thoroughly confused. Alphard tried to keep an innocent countenance about him. As he saw her, he felt a fury rising in him- that she even dared entertaining the notion of leaving him.

'Good morning,' he said, finding it almost impossible to twitch his lips into a smile.

'Morning,' she said slowly, her brows furrowed.

She came to a halt by the table and bit her lip.

'Did you… did you do something with my trunk?' she said, the colour rising in her cheeks.

Alphard raised his eyebrows and handed her a cup of tea before sitting down at the table.

'No. What do you want with your trunk?'

He found some pleasure in watching her shift uncomfortably. He felt it was a small price for her to pay for what she was prepared to do to him in leaving.

Eventually, she sighed and shrugged.

'Nothing. I just wanted to check something in a school book and I'm pretty sure it's in my trunk,' she said, sitting at the table and avoiding his eyes.

Alphard clenched his fists under the table at how easily she lied to him. He began to wonder what else she had been lying to him about.

'Which book?' he said, sipping his tea calmly.

Selene looked up, looking a little shocked.

'What?'

Alphard shrugged.

'Which book? I might have it in the library. You know, we _did_ go to school together,' he added.

'Uh…' she faltered. 'Uh…'

'Don't remember the name?' he frowned.

Selene closed her mouth, and then nodded.

'No I don't. I only remember the cover. It was a book on Herbology.'

'Oh… and what do you want to look up?'

She rubbed her neck nervously and he decided that he had her feeling uncomfortable and guilty enough to prevent her from leaving for a short while.

'Ah never mind,' he said, smiling more easily now. 'Would you like a pastry?'

Selene looked at the tray of pastries in the middle of the table, noticing them for the first time.

'Did you get these?' she said, looking confused.

Alphard nodded.

'Yes. I woke up early this morning. You know, I had a bit of an epiphany,' he said, placing an apricot danish on her plate and pouring out more tea.

She looked at him silently, though he noticed her lip trembling as she brought her teacup to her lips.

It really was too easy to break her resolve.

'I woke up and realised that, yesterday, my mother was buried. She's gone.'

He drummed his fingers on the table and leant forward.

'You see, it really highlighted the fragility of life to me. My mother- she lived her life with all these rules and regulations… but never knew any enjoyment. There was no meaning to her life.'

'And you feel you have meaning in yours?' Selene muttered, looking down at her teacup.

Alphard pursed his lips and tried to ignore her jab at him.

'Yes, yes I do. But I think I don't appreciate it as I should,' he said softly. 'Because I have you- I have love in my life- and that's something my mother never knew.'

He saw Selene blinking quickly and knew he had finally broken her again. He sat back in his chair, relieved.

'I want to apologise for how I've behaved since her death. I was grieving, but not in a way that was considerate of you,' he said, finally.

Selene took a sharp intake of breath and looked up at him. He saw her hazel eyes were glassy with tears.

'It hasn't been the first time you've behaved like this, Alphie,' she said softly.

Alphard said nothing, but continued to look at her. Eventually, she looked away and wiped her eyes hastily.

'I… I too have been thinking a lot about life, lately,' she admitted. 'We're not getting any younger. In a few years I may not even be able to have children.'

Alphard cringed. He hadn't counted on her retaliating with this.

'Yes, but you have a few years,' he said, avoiding her eyes.

'The other day… the other day I went to the orphanage,' Selene continued. 'And there was this little girl. She… it's hard to explain. Maybe you should meet her for yourself. All I know is that I felt this inexplicable connection with her and I feel that I should adopt her.'

And there was another blow Alphard hadn't been expecting.

'You feel that 'you' should adopt her, or that 'we' should adopt her?' Alphard said slowly. 'Because, as partners, it would have to be a joint decision.'

Selene nodded quickly.

'Yes, I know. I'd like for us to adopt her. I think she would be as good for us as we could be good for her.'

Alphard pinched the bridge of his nose.

'You understand that we can't adopt a muggle, Selene. It's a muggle orphanage, so it's likely she won't become a witch.'

Selene swallowed thickly.

'Does that matter?' she whispered.

Alphard threw up his hands.

'Of course it matters!' he exclaimed. 'How could we possibly bring a non-magical child into our world? Firstly, the authorities would never allow it. Secondly, it would be dangerous for her to live alongside witches and wizards with no means of defending herself.'

Selene crossed her arms.

'And what about squibs?' she shot at him.

'Well, we all know what happens to them,' Alphard muttered, draining his teacup. 'They get sent into the muggle world.'

He saw her clenching her fists in her frustration, and stood up and went over to her and kissed her forehead.

'But, for all we know, she _could_ be a witch,' he said calmly. 'I'm just thinking about what is practical for both her and us. We'll discuss this later.'

He kissed her lips, but she didn't kiss him back. Kissing her had never tasted so bitter.

He moved away and leant over the sink, feeling as though there was a knife twisting in his stomach.

'Do you…. Do you even love me?' he said quietly, shutting his eyes tightly.

He heard her standing up and walking over to where he was standing. She tentatively placed a hand on his shoulder.

'I… do,' she said uncertainly. 'But I don't know if that's enough anymore. I want more from life, Alphie.'

Alphard turned around suddenly, his eyes ablaze.

'So that's it, then? You want to throw away the sixteen years we've had based on a few rough times I've had?'

'No, Alphie, I…'

'I think you do,' he said, pushing her away from him. 'And where will you go? Who will you run to now? I don't think Riddle is so accommodating to….'

'Please!' Selene interrupted, pinching the bridge of her nose. 'Don't talk about him.'

Alphard tugged at his hair.

'I'm tired of waiting for you to love me fully,' he said. 'By now, it should be unconditional. And yet you're still unsure.'

'I wouldn't be unsure if you were willing to show me that you yourself were certain. In the way that every other normal couple makes a commitment to each other,' she muttered.

Alphard said nothing, and Selene sighed.

'I think we both have some thinking to do,' she said resignedly.

She took a step forward and kissed him lingeringly.

'And we both have to make concessions, if this is going to work,' she whispered against his lips.

Alphard looked up at her and went to kiss her, but Selene moved away. She gave him a sad smile before leaving the room.

* * *

'Ah, Alphard, long time no see,' Dumbledore said placidly, letting Alphard into his office.

'I don't have long,' Alphard said, making no move to sit. 'I just want to say one thing- it's Selene. I think she's seeing Tom Riddle again.'

Dumbledore watched Alphard silently for a moment, his piercing blue eyes giving nothing away.

'But I don't want to interrogate her or anything like that, this time,' Alphard continued. 'That worked out badly last time.'

'What makes you think that she has been in contact with Tom again?' Dumbledore asked calmly.

Alphard frowned.

'It sounds like weak reasoning… but I just know it. She's distracted. Whenever he's on her mind, she's always nervous around me. That's how she is now. Also, whenever they lose contact, she and I are always much happier.'

Dumbledore was silent for a moment, but then placed a hand on Alphard's shoulder.

'Your evidence isn't strong, Alphard, but I shall look into it. As we said before, it isn't safe for Selene to be associating with someone like Riddle.'

Alphard nodded.

'Thank you, sir.'

He went to leave.

'Oh, and Alphard?'

Alphard turned and looked at Dumbledore enquiringly.

'Getting rid of Tom won't fix any problems you and Selene are experiencing. It may lessen the exacerbation, but the underlying problem will only go away if you yourselves fix it.'

Alphard pursed his lips, but then forced a smile.

'Thank you, sir.'

* * *

Selene tugged at her hair as she sat on the end of her bed. She had been certain that she had packed all her bags the night before… or was that a dream?

And Alphard hadn't been receptive to the idea of adoption. But, every time she remembered that girl, she couldn't help feeling a swell of… something, in her chest. It felt like love, anguish and pain mixed in one.

She looked out the window and saw that it was still light. Without a moment's hesitation, she picked up her wand and disapparated.

She winced as she felt nostalgia washing over her as she walked through the painfully familiar corridor of the orphanage. She arrived at the girl's room, and saw that she was sitting on her bed, reading a book.

Tentatively, Selene knocked on the door. The girl looked up suddenly, and her eyes widened.

'I saw you!' she exclaimed, jumping off the bed and running over to Selene. 'I thought it was my dream, but I saw you!'

Selene smiled and knelt to be on the girl's level. Again, she felt that feeling in her chest. Yet, this time, it was also mixed with happiness.

'Yes, yes you did,' she said quietly.

'Do you want to come in? There's no one else here,' the girl said.

Selene bit her lip.

'I can't. Not today.'

The girl pouted and Selene couldn't help smiling again.

'Why not? No one ever visits me.'

Selene touched the girl's cheek.

'I'll visit you again. I promise.'

The girl's frown suddenly turned into a wide smile.

'You will! But you have to stay longer next time. We have visitors every Thursday afternoon. Will you come?'

Selene smoothed down the girl's dark hair.

'Yes, yes I will. Now, why don't you tell me your name?'

The girl frowned.

'Don't you know?'

Selene shook her head.

'No.'

The girl looked disappointed by this.

'Penelope. But everyone calls me Penny.'

Selene smiled.

'That's a very pretty name. My name is Selene.'

The girl smiled.

'Selene,' she repeated slowly. 'I like that name. It sounds beautiful.'

Selene smiled, and then stood up.

'Well you be a good girl, Penny. I'll come and visit you again on Thursday, okay?'

'You promise?' Penny repeated, her eyes looking concerned. 'Because you can't break a promise!'

Selene smiled and kissed Penny's forehead.

'Yes, I promise.'

* * *

**Next chapter-**

'I'm pregnant'

AND

'Congratulations, mate,'- Sean to Alphard

**Thanks everyone for your reviews. Unfortunately, I couldn't update before I left because life was just far too hectic… as it is now, but I'm just ignoring it all! **

**England was amazing. You can read all about it on my blog. To all my English readers, I LOVE your country!**

**Please don't forget to leave a review!**

**Love, Anya**


	44. Chapter 44: Tender T'is To Love the Babe

'_**And the tears come streaming down your face**_

_**When you lose something you can't replace**_

_**When you love someone but it goes to waste**_

_**Could it be worse?'**_

_**Fix You, **__**Coldplay

* * *

**_

**Chapter 44**

**Tender T'is To Love the Babe That Milks Me**

Malkin's hand trembled as she placed it in the Apothecarian's. She closed her eyes as she felt the pin prick, and kept them tightly shut as she heard the solution swirling beneath her hand.

'Madame?'

Malkin opened her eyes and saw the Apothecarian watching her cautiously.

'Would you like to know the result?'

Tentatively, Malkin nodded.

'It was positive.'

Malkin's eyes widened in surprise.

'You mean…. I'm….'

'Pregnant, yes,' the Apothecarian smiled.

Malkin blinked in her shock. She then suddenly rummaged in her pockets, threw ten galleons too many into the Apothecarian's hand, and tore out of the store.

She ran through Diagon Alley, all the way through Ferver Lane, and up the notoriously steep Glisten Hill to their apartment on Wicker Place, bursting through their front door, screaming—

'Florean! Florean!'

Her husband appeared instantly, taking his chef's cap off his head and wiping the sweat off his forehead with his arm.

'Malkin, what is it?' he said, alarmed at how excited his wife appeared.

'Florean!' she gasped, rushing up to him and taking him by the shoulders. 'We…we…'

Florean took her waist and lead her to the couch.

'Take a deep breath,' he said calmly. 'Have you been running? What's the matter?'

Malkin shook her head impatiently.

'I'm pregnant!' she said, unable to contain her excitement. 'We're having a baby!'

Florean stared at her, and then slumped back in the couch. Malkin frowned as she watched her husband's shocked and impassive face.

'Aren't you… aren't you happy?' she said, fear creeping into her tone.

Florean looked up at her, still in shock.

'How?' he whispered faintly.

Malkin wrung her hands nervously.

'Well… when you asked me a few months ago if I had contraception under control,' she said sheepishly, avoiding his eyes.

'Yes,' Florean pressed, watching her curiously. 'And you said yes, you did.'

Malkin chewed her lip.

'I did have it under control, but I think we had differing definitions of what that meant,' she muttered, her cheeks flushing.

'You mean... all that sex we've been having was so you could…'

Florean's eyes widened in surprise.

'Why didn't you tell me!' he accused.

Malkin cringed.

'We're both so busy. I was afraid that we'd both find reasons for why we _shouldn't_ have a baby.'

Florean crossed his arms and simply looked at Malkin. She whimpered a little.

'We're not getting younger!' she exclaimed. 'I just thought it'd be easier this way.'

Florean said nothing and Malkin suddenly became frightened.

'You're not happy?' she whispered, her voice trembling.

Suddenly, Florean laughed and hugged Malkin.

'No, you ridiculous women. I'm ecstatic! We're going to be parents. There's nothing I want more!'

Malkin sniffed and looked up at Florean.

'R…really?' she said hopefully.

He grinned and kissed her softly.

'Of course,' he smiled. 'Just promise me one thing.'

'What?'

'In the future, do you think you could inform me when you decide we should have a baby?'

Malkin laughed and hugged Florean tightly.

* * *

'Two martinis, thanks,' Selene said, handing the drinks menu to the waiter.

'Oh… just water for me,' Malkin interrupted, her voice quavering as she looked to Selene.

The waiter nodded and walked off. Selene cocked her head to the side and peered at Malkin.

'I've never known you to refuse a cocktail,' she said suspiciously. 'Is everything alright?'

Malkin took a deep breath.

'I'm pregnant,' she smiled, unable to contain her excitement.

Selene blinked.

'You…. You're…'

'Yes,' Malkin laughed, nodding happily. 'I'm pregnant! Isn't that shocking? Me, of all people!'

At that moment, Selene felt an acutely unpleasant feeling in her gut. It was a foreign feeling that twisted and bubbled inside her, making her feel suddenly very hot and claustrophobic.

'A martini and water,' the waiter interrupted, setting down their drinks.

Selene lunged for her martini and swallowed it down in one. She then closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

'You don't think I'll be a good mother?'

Selene opened her eyes and saw Malkin watching her anxiously. The feeling only worsened as she noticed that Malkin's lips were full and red, and her skin was glowing. She was radiant. Nothing like her former starved self.

'Of course you'll be a good mother,' Selene said, forcing a smile. 'You and Florean will be wonderful parents.'

'You really think so?' Malkin said, smiling.

Smiling had never felt so difficult. Selene blinked as she felt tears pricking her eyes and instantly felt angry with herself for behaving in such a jealous manner.

'Yes,' she said softly. 'You'll be wonderful. How far along are you?'

Malkin smiled widely as she began recounting the story of how she became pregnant. Selene found it impossible to listen. All she could think about was how unfair it was that, yet again, she was deprived of having a family.

.

She forced herself to sit in the restaurant for half an hour, before excusing herself. Malkin was too blissfully happy to notice the strain in her friend, and hugged her and arranged for them to meet again in a few days time.

As soon as Malkin had walked off, Selene disapparated back home.

'Alphard!' she screamed. 'Alphie!'

There was no response. She ran up the stairs, her breathing erratic in her desperation.

'Alphard!'

She ran into their bedroom and saw that it was empty.

'Oh God,' she gasped, clutching at her chest and taking deep gasps of air.

She sunk onto the bed, and punched the mattress angrily.

'Why?' she screamed. 'Can't I have _one_ fucking thing? Why does Malkin get _everything_? The husband, a baby… and she was the bitch! A druggie and an anorexic. And yet here I am, nothing wrong and I'm….'

Selene sat up and gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth as she registered what she had just said.

'You don't mean that,' she whispered to herself. 'You're just angry at your situation. It's got nothing to do with Malkin. Don't become like Tom. Don't become a jealous person…'

She stared into the distance for what seemed like hours. Slowly, her anger, frustration and grief subsided. Instead, she was left feeling exhausted and empty.

She glanced at the clock and saw that it was four o'clock. She would have to prepare dinner to be ready for Alphard at six o'clock.

She got of the bed mechanically and went to leave the room. As she did, she caught sight of her reflection and instantly felt repulsed. Her eyes were puffy, her makeup had streaked down her cheeks, and her dress was old and shapeless.

Quickly, she shrugged it off and tossed it aside. She then noticed her lingerie was also old and fraying and took that off as well.

As she surveyed her wardrobe, she saw that all her lingerie was practical- white cotton and not seductive in the slightest. Her clothes- of which she used to have so many- were either ball gowns, or relatively conservative.

She snorted as she thought of how frugal she was with her accounts.

'What for? I have no child to save money for.'

She glanced at the clock again and then, without another moment's hesitation, disapparated.

'Will that be all, madame?'

'No,' Selene said, surveying her reflection with a smile. She was dressed in a ruby red bra and pant set, with matching suspenders to hold up her stockings. As a model, she had worn mainly gowns, and thus was surprised to see herself looking so risqué.

Certainly a far cry from the innocent girl she was at the orphanage.

'I'd like to try the black corset set, and the salmon set I pointed out earlier.'

'Shall I put this set on the account to join the champagne set and the green set?'

'Yes,' Selene responded automatically.

The assistant beamed widely and tottered off to fetch more expensive lingerie for Selene.

Once she had bought her lingerie- and spent more in one transaction than she had spent on clothing in her entire life- she went to a clothing boutique and chose anything and everything that was tight-fitting and brightly-coloured.

By the time she was done, it was six o'clock. As she walked through Diagon-Alley to go home, she stopped as she walked past a baby store.

Suddenly, all her purchases meant nothing. She would gladly give them all away only to purchase baby gear instead. She set down her bags as she picked up a baby jumpsuit.

A small, and sorrowful smile came to her lips as she looked at it.

'Ah yes, a beautiful set, madame. Would you like to purchase it?'

Selene looked back to the jumpsuit. It was white and soft and fluffy. She smiled painfully and nodded.

'Yes,' she said huskily. 'Yes I would.'

* * *

'Hey!'

Alphard grinned and stood up as he saw his best friend approaching the table. He signalled to the waiter to bring two whiskeys.

'H…hey,' Sean stuttered, his eyes wide. 'Mate…. Congratulations! Is that why you wanted to meet?'

Alphard frowned and sipped his whiskey.

'I wanted to meet because you're my friend,' he said drily. 'What are you congratulating me for?'

Sean clapped a hand to his mouth.

'Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry. I didn't realise you and Selene….'

'What about Selene and I?' Alphard said quickly, sitting forward.

'I thought you were still together,' Sean whispered sheepishly. 'Sorry, mate, I…'

'We are,' Alphard said through gritted teeth. 'Why? Did you see her with another man?'

Sean shook his head quickly.

'No! I… I just saw her in a baby store. She was buying a baby suit.'

Alphard spat out his whiskey and started choking.

'You right mate?'

Alphard shook his head, and Sean quickly hit his back a few times. His choking subsided, and he looked up at Sean, his face as white as a ghost.

'When did you see her?' he questioned raspily.

'Just on my way here,' Sean said slowly. 'Maybe she just found it?'

Alphard slumped back in his chair, hyperventilating.

'No. She can't have a child. We can't. It's not…'

'Why not?'' Sean smiled. 'I think it'll be great for you two. It'll finally make an honest couple of you!'

Alphard tossed the rest of his firewhiskey down his throat, and then picked up Sean's and did the same.

'I have to go. I'm sorry, I need to sort this out.'

'I hope I haven't…'

'I'll see you soon,' Alphard interrupted, throwing a few galleons on the table and rushing out of the bar.

* * *

Selene struggled to fit through the front door with all her bags.

'Alphard?' she called.

She smiled ruefully when she was met, yet again, with silence. She apparated to their bedroom and opened her wardrobe and began tossing out her old clothes, culling them ruthlessly. She then looked to her bags, and her shoulders sunk as she realised _just_ how much she had spent.

'I deserve it,' she reasoned, hanging up her new dresses. 'Malkin gets a child, this is my present.'

When she was done, she picked out the red lingerie set, and a short, and form-fitting black dress.

She sprayed on the strong perfume she bought. It was a dark scent- certainly not appropriate for daywear- and reminded her think of something forbidden, yet irresistible. Slowly, she drew the pin that was holding her hair up, and her dark hair came flowing down her back in soft waves of molten lava.

'Selene?'

She clenched her teeth as she heard Alphard's voice. She was now convinced that she could never love him as she used to. She also knew that he was her best chance of ever procuring a child and that she had to make him fall back in love with her, enough to marry and want a child with her.

She walked to the corner of the room where she had carefully placed the baby suit, and smiled as she held it up to her cheek.

For the first time that day, the tight knot in her chest loosened, and she felt a peaceful calm washing over her.

The door burst open, and she quickly dropped the baby suit back in the bag as she saw Alphard at the door. His face was ghostly white.

'Is it true?' he demanded.

Selene crossed her arms and he stopped as he noticed all the shopping bags, and then her new dress.

'If you're trying to seduce me into accepting this, it's not going to work,' he said angrily. 'How could you just trick me into this? We decided that we would talk about this further, and yet you just jumped right into it.'

Selene arched an eyebrow.

'Alphard,' she said calmly, 'What _are_ you talking about?'

Alphard crossed his arms stubbornly.

'Do you have any news for me?' he said harshly.

Selene swallowed thickly.

'Yes,' she said quietly. 'Malkin and Florean are having a baby.'

Alphard's face contorted, but then he smiled as realisation washed over him.

'Malkin?' he repeated.

'Yes,' Selene snapped. 'Malkin.'

He laughed and stepped over the bags to where Selene was, running a hand through his dark hair.

'Malkin!' he repeated, sounding immensely relieved. 'I thought…'

'You thought what?' Selene interrupted sharply.

'Well, you see, I just met Sean and he told me he saw you in a baby store. Naturally, we both assumed….'

'That I was pregnant?' Selene offered.

Alphard nodded.

'Obviously jumping to conclusions.'

Selene felt like slapping Alphard. Instead, she kept her temper in check.

'And if I _were_ to fall pregnant, would that be such a terrible thing?' she said, her anger simmering.

Alphard shrugged.

'No, but all at the right time. We're not even married yet.'

Selene's heart beat hopefully at his use of 'yet'.

He smiled at her and looked her up and down.

'You look beautiful,' he said. 'Are you going somewhere?'

Selene shook her head.

'I decided I needed to update my wardrobe.'

'Kimono,' Alphard said, noticing the large bag of the lingerie store. 'You purchased a few things from there?'

Selene nodded and smiled darkly.

'Yes. I bought quite a few things from there.'

Alphard toyed with the zip of Selene's dress.

'And would you happen to be wearing a purchase at present?'

Selene smiled.

'I've decided it's not decent for us to sleep in the same bed,' she said innocently. 'Just as you deem it's not decent for us to have a child out of wedlock.'

Alphard blinked.

'So I guess you won't know what I'm wearing underneath my dress. Until things between us are decent, of course,' she added.

She smiled as she saw Alphard's stunned expression, and placed a soft kiss on his lips. She then flicked her wand, clearing away all the shopping bags, before leaving the room without another word.

* * *

'Florean!'

Florean rushed to the kitchen where Malkin was hunched over the sink, gasping in pain.

'What? What is it?' he said, his eyes wide with concern.

'I…' Malkin whispered, clutching at her stomach. 'It h…hurts.'

Florean hovered, and then lead her to the fireplace. He grabbed a fistful of Floo Powder and threw it in the flames, helping Malkin into the fireplace, before shouting— 'St Mungo's Hospital'!

As soon as they landed, he tore through the Emergency Room, to the front desk.

'Please, Miss,' he gasped. 'My wife. She's pregnant, and in pain and…'

The nurse stood up quickly and went to Malkin, leading her to an examination room. He went to follow, but was blocked by another nurse.

'Sorry sir, you can't come in.'

'That's my wife in there!' Florean burst angrily.

The nurse shook her head.

'I'm afraid you'll just have to wait outside.'

Florean clenched his fists and paced the hallway nervously. After what felt like days, a Healer opened the door and led a pale, but smiling Malkin out of the room.

'Take care not to eat any more Jiplops anymore,' he said seriously. 'Now that you're pregnant, you don't want to take any risks with food poisoning.'

Malkin nodded seriously and then smiled at Florean.

'Is everything okay?' he said, taking her by the shoulders.

Malkin nodded and kissed him.

'Yes. Just a small bout of food poisoning. The baby's fine.'

Florean exhaled slowly, relieved.

'Oh thank Merlin,' he said, hugging Malkin tightly. 'Thank you, Healer!'

The Healer nodded formally, and walked into the next examination room.

'I was so scared,' Florean gushed, as they walked out of the hospital. 'For you, for the baby...'

'I was,' Malkin agreed. 'I didn't realise I had to watch my diet. I mean, I knew I couldn't drink alcohol, but I never thought to avoid certain foods altogether!'

Florean pursed his lips, looking very serious as they stepped into the Floo Fireplace.

Once they were home, he sat Malkin down on the couch, but set to pacing the length of the room.

'What's wrong?' Malkin said, watching him incredulously.

'You work to hard,' he said suddenly, turning to face her. 'You can't expect to continue working as the head of your label, as _well _as being pregnant.'

'I can so!' Malkin exclaimed. 'Having a baby doesn't ruin my creative abilities.'

Florean shook his head.

'You and I both know that your job entails much more than simply drawing dress designs. Malkin, your get very stressed out with your job. It's not good for the baby.'

Malkin looked down, chewing her lip.

'I… I have been thinking that,' she said quietly. 'I've been thinking that maybe….'

She trailed off, wearing a pained expression.

'I love my job,' she said sadly. 'I don't want to have to choose between my child, and doing the thing I love.'

Florean said nothing, but continued to watch Malkin. Eventually, she sighed.

'But now that I've had the chance to do my job, and do it well, I know that I'd much rather focus on being a mother. I feel like I'm ready for that kind of stability in my life, you know?'

Florean bit his lip.

'So… you're going to sell your label?'

Malkin winced at the thought.

'It doesn't mean you're not going to design again. You'd be selling the label, not your designs, you know,' Florean said softly, sitting on the couch next to her and kissing her forehead. 'Malkin Couture is just a name. You could design just as beautiful things under another label.'

Malkin closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, but then sighed.

'You're right,' she said reluctantly. 'This is something I have to do for our child. I'll sell the label.'

'Are you sure you're okay with this?' Florean said tentatively.

Malkin hesitated, but then nodded.

'Yes,' she said, more confidently now. 'Yes, I am.'

Florean observed her, and a small smile played on his lips.

'What?' Malkin said, frowning.

Florean smiled and kissed her.

'You know, I think you may just be cured.'

Malkin raised an eyebrow.

'What do you mean?'

Florean shrugged.

'You've changed so much from the girl who used to starve herself and popped Vice.'

Malkin smiled happily and leant forward and kissed Florean lingeringly.

'I have you to thank,' she whispered, closing her eyes as she nestled her head against his chest. 'You saved me, Florean, in every way. I don't think you'll ever truly understand how much you mean to me- how much strength you've given me.'

'I think I do,' Florean said quietly. 'Alone, we're no good… but together, we fix each other. We're all right.'

Malkin smiled and looked up at Florean.

'We're more than alright.'

Florean smiled and kissed Malkin.

'I love you so much. Every day I wake up and have to pinch myself to believe my luck that you even considered going out with me.'

Malkin looked away, her eyes hardening.

'Florean, I'm the one lucky to be with you,' she said, her voice strained. 'I don't think you've ever understood how terrible I was before you came and set me right.'

Florean shrugged.

'Everyone's been terrible at some point. It's how you make it right that counts.'

Malkin smiled sadly, and brought his hand to her lips.

'Thank you,' she said quietly.

'For what?' Florean said, puzzled.

'For accepting the baby- for being _happy_ about the baby. I never expected that I'd be lucky enough to find someone who would want to marry me, let alone have a child with me.'

Florean laughed, and stroked Malkin's dark hair.

'Now you're being ridiculous,' he said. 'You were the most beautiful girl in our year.'

'No, that was Selene,' Malkin interrupted.

'To me, it was always you,' Florean said quietly.

Malkin smiled and sat up and kissed him.

'You're really turning on the charm tonight, aren't you?' she grinned. 'Don't worry, you were always going to get lucky. For some reason all I want to do, now that I'm pregnant, is shag!'

Florean's eyes widened.

'Well, Mrs Fortescue,' he grinned, picking her up and carrying her to their bedroom, 'I would be more than happy help assist you in resolving this matter!'

* * *

Upon her exit from their bedroom, Selene went to the living room and began reading a book. Alphard hovered at the doorway, before approaching her armchair.

'Isn't dinner meant to be at six?' he said awkwardly.

Selene glanced at her watch.

'It's seven,' she said, not lifting her gaze from her book.

'Yes, but you haven't cooked anything, have you?' he pressed.

A small smile tugged at Selene's lips.

'If you want someone to cook for you, then you should employ a chef. The same goes for the cleaning of this house- get a maid. I hear some maids offer 'happy endings'. They're usually French, those ones.'

Alphard snatched Selene's book from her hands.

'Why are you acting like this?' he demanded.

Selene feigned confusion.

'Like what?'

'Like we're housemates,' Alphard snapped. 'I had a right to be annoyed if you had tricked me into getting you pregnant.'

Selene smiled sweetly.

'Oh, don't you worry your pretty head with such ideas,' she smiled. 'There's no chance of that ever happening. According to my understanding, pregnancy is the result of a certain act. One, which you won't experience with me ever again.'

Selene turned to leave, but Alphard grabbed her arm, and pulled her to him, crashing his lips on hers. She pushed him away roughly.

'What _are _you doing?' she demanded haughtily.

Alphard tugged at his hair.

'You're over-reacting,' he said angrily. 'Your game isn't funny.'

'You think I'm trying to be _funny_?' Selene half-shouted in her exasperation. 'Alphard, I'm exhausted with you, and I'm not going to wait any longer. You either decide to make things proper with me, or I'll be as distant as a mere housemate.'

Alphard opened his mouth to retort, but Selene interrupted.

'And that's just what I'll be, until you make up your mind,' she snapped, pushing past him and leaving the room. 'It's time for you to make up your mind, Alphie. Enough's enough.'

* * *

That night, Selene drifted off to an uneasy sleep.

She was living in a different house. It was big, but filled with the clutter of scattered toys. There were stains on the couch and yet, somehow, she loved those stains for what they represented.

She felt exhausted, but not the kind of exhaustion she felt when studying for long hours. It was the kind of exhaustion experienced by caring for highly energised children.

She looked up as she heard peals of laughter from outside and she felt chest swelling. Their laughter was the most beautiful music in the world to her.

She bent down and began tidying away the toys. She stood suddenly as she felt something tugging at her skirt.

'Mummy?'

She gasped as she saw the young boy. He had black hair, a pale face, with her hazel eyes.

She clutched at her chest and sunk to the ground as she looked up at his face in wonder.

'T…tom?'

'No, mummy, daddy's not here,' the boy said, touching her face and putting his small arms around her neck and hugging her.'

Selene looked at the boy in wonder. He really was the spitting image of Tom Riddle.

And yet, somehow, it felt right. She already loved this boy so fiercely that she knew she would never allow any harm to befall him as long as she lived.

'I love you,' she gasped through her tears, hugging him to her, and kissing his small forehead. 'You'll never hurt me, will you?'

The boy looked up at her with his large innocent eyes. There, she saw the difference between him and Tom.

Tom never had that kind of innocence. They were always sharp and shrewd.

'Mummy, why would I hurt you?' he frowned, 'Why are you crying, mummy?'

Selene smiled painfully, but then the boy disappeared.

She sat up, gasping for air, and looking about the bedroom wildly for the boy who, seconds ago, seemed so real.

Shaken, she got out of bed, and put on her cloak. Snatching up her wand, she disapparated in an instant.

* * *

He opened his eyes and sat up, alarmed to find himself not in his usual bed, but on a makeshift bed, in their abandoned hut at Hogsmeade.

His eyes widened as he saw her sitting on the edge of the mattress, watching him curiously. He went to speak, but she put a finger to his lips and gently pushed him back on the bed. She smiled coyly and, never breaking eye contact, she bent over and pressed her lips to his.

* * *

**A/N: A few things:**

**1/ SORRY for the ridiculously long wait for an update. Won't happen again, I promise!**

**2/ THANK YOU to everyone who has voted for me on The Sweet Quill awards. Voting closes Sept 27 so if you haven't voted for me yet… please do? =D**

**3/ BETA: If you're interested in applying to be a Beta for this story, the details are on my Author's Page.**

**4/ Next chapter is looking to be BIG:**

'You're unusual, aren't you? I can tell, because I am too,' – Penelope

'That ring, there. Yes, that's perfect,' – Alphard Black

'Avada Kedavra,' – Tom Riddle to Selene

**And if you could review before leaving, I would REALLY appreciate it :D**

**Love, Anya**


	45. Chapter 45: When Thou Art Dead

"_**But it's only when I sleep**_

_**See you in my dreams**_

_**You got me spinning round and round**_

_**Turning upside-down"**_

'**Only In My Sleep'- The Corrs

* * *

**

**When Thou Art Dead**

Tom sat up with a start. His hair was damp with sweat and his heart was pounding in his chest.

'What…' he whispered as he looked around his room.

It felt so real- the hut, her lips, her body, her scent…

He closed his eyes. He could swear that he could still smell the rosemary on his shirt…

And yet, he had woken up in his own bed instead of the floor of the hut. He was so certain he had drifted off to sleep there.

'What _is_ this?' he groaned, flopping back in bed.

His stomach muscles ached as though he had been through an intense workout, and yet he hadn't exerted himself the day before.

'This is ridiculous,' he muttered angrily, burying his face in his pillow. 'It was real. I swear it was.'

He closed his eyes as he remembered how smooth her body felt against his, her lips as the heat built up between them, the release of that pent-up tension that had been growing steadily over the years….

'My Lord?'

He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.

'What do you want?' he snapped.

He was still lost in limbo between his dream-world, and reality. It was the only time he was allowed to enjoy his fantasies without feeling the accompanying guilt.

'It's seven o'clock, sir. You always take your breakfast at this hour. Shall I set it up for you in your study?'

Tom tugged at his hair. He suddenly became acutely aware that his body was still reacting to the dream, even if he had reluctantly decided to forget it.

'Stop it,' he growled, looking down at his tented pants. 'I am above bodily desires.'

'My Lord?' Dolohov pressed.

'Yes,' he shouted at the door. 'Leave me!'

He paused and then drew in an unsteady breath.

'I must control this,' he said, getting out of bed and throwing his robe over his head. 'I must.'

His hands shook as he fastened the buttons down the front. He went to pick up his wand, but dropped it.

'Fuck!' he shouted angrily.

He heard hurried footsteps coming towards his door.

'My Lord, is everything alright?'

'If you ask me again, I'll use the Cruciatus on you,' he growled.

He could almost hear Dolohov gulping at the thought. He waited until he heard his footsteps disappearing from the door before bending down to retrieve his wand.

_Selene?_

He waited for her response. He had to get to the bottom of this if he was to stand any chance of getting through the day.

Nothing.

_Selene. Answer me._

Still, nothing.

_I will find you. You either speak to me this way, or face-to-face. What's it to be?_

He sat, expecting her to reply at any second. Ten minutes later, she was still silent.

He picked up a vase and threw it across the room in his fury.

'You're going to regret this,' he growled, stalking out of his bedroom. 'You don't play dirty with Lord Voldemort and get away with it.'

* * *

'I'm here to visit…'

Selene trailed off as she heard _his _voice-

_Selene?_

The matron gave her a strange look, and Selene did her best to construct a smile.

'I'm here to visit Penelope,' she said, feeling her heart begin to race.

_Selene, answer me._

Her hands trembled as she signed the guest book and followed the matron down the hallway.

'She's helping clear up breakfast,' the matron said, pointing to where Penelope was scrubbing dishes.

Selene smiled as she saw Penelope, and went up to her. Penelope dropped her plate in the sink in her excitement at seeing Selene.

'You came!' she squealed, hugging Selene, soap suds and all.

'Yes, I did,' Selene smiled. 'How about you let me finish your dishes for you? I'll be much quicker.'

Penelope smiled, happy to forfit her chores, and stood by Selene's side.

_I will find you. You either speak to me this way, or face-to-face. What's it to be?_

Selene gasped and closed her eyes. Penelope was the only innocent being she knew. She didn't want Tom corrupting and poisoning what she had with Penelope.

'Are you okay?' Penelope asked, tugging at Selene's dress.

Selene opened her eyes and constructed a smile.

'Yes,' she said softly. 'Do you want to see how quickly I can do the dishes?'

Penelope raised an eyebrow and nodded. Selene smiled, and then fixed her gaze on the dishes. Suddenly, they all rose out of the soapy water and arranged themselves on the drying wrack, all so clean they sparkled.

Penelope's eyes widened. Selene chewed her lip, hoping she hadn't gone too far with her stunt.

'How did you do that?' Penelope breathed, her eyes wide with wonder.

Selene tapped her nose and bent down to be at Penelope's level.

'Maybe you'll learn one day.'

Penelope narrowed her eyes as she surveyed Selene, her small mouth set in a frown. She then looked around to see that no one was watching them, before leaning in closer.

'You're unusual, aren't you?' she whispered. 'I can tell, because I am too.'

'Unusual? What do you mean?' Selene said, her heart beating hopefully.

Penelope bit her lip uncertainly.

'Promise you won't tell anyone?'

Selene nodded and Penelope shifted on her feet.

'I don't know what it's called, but once Stephan was trying to steal my pen and I made it vanish. When I went to bed, it was under my pillow.'

Selene couldn't help the tears that pricked at her eyes as she heard Penelope's words. She always felt that she saw younger herself in Penelope; that they shared an inexplicable connection.

Penelope grabbed Selene's arm urgently.

'Am I strange?' she asked, her eyes wide with concern. 'Is there something wrong with me?'

Selene smoothed down Penelope's dark hair.

'No, you're not strange,' she smiled. 'One day, you'll have lots of friends who can do the same things.'

Penelope frowned in confusion.

'But don't you worry about that for now,' Selene added. 'How about we go outside? There's something I want to talk to you about.'

'Are you going to take me away?' Penelope burst out suddenly.

Selene bit her lip, and then looked down at Penelope.

'Would you like that?' she asked tentatively.

Penelope smiled widely.

'Yes! Yes! When can we go? I'll go pack my bags right now!'

Penelope hugged Selene excitedly and ran out of the kitchen for her dormitory. Selene quickly wiped her eyes and followed Penelope. When she arrived at her room, she leant against the doorframe as she watched Penelope emptying her possessions on her bed and stuffing them into a plastic bag.

Selene felt that familiar tightness in her chest as she spoke—

'Penelope,' she said quietly, 'I can't take you today.'

Penelope paused, and then turned to look at Selene. Selene couldn't help feeling guilty as she saw how disappointed Penelope looked.

'You… can't?' she said quietly. 'I should have known you wouldn't want me.'

Penelope sat on her bed, hugging her knees, and sniffed.

'No one wants me. That's why I'm here.'

Selene walked over to Penelope and sat next to her. Penelope looked away.

'I will take you away,' Selene whispered, 'Because no one wanted me either. Did you know that I also grew up in this orphanage?'

Penelope shrugged and continued to face away. Selene smoothed down her hair.

'But I can't take you _today, _because I need to sort a few things out first. After all, I can't have you sleeping on the floor!'

Penelope's gaze snapped back to Selene.

'I'll sleep on the floor forever!' she exclaimed desperately. 'I'll sleep outside if I have to! Just take me with you!'

Selene shook her head and smiled kindly.

'Soon. I promise- just not today.'

Penelope huffed and turned away. Selene sighed and stood up.

'I promise I will take you away, Penelope,' she said seriously. 'I will.'

Penelope shrugged nonchalantly.

'Well, I have to go now, but I'll see you very soon. Okay?'

Again, Penelope ignored Selene. Selene smiled and sighed as she left the room.

But as Selene walked down the long corridor and out into the open air, she was suddenly gripped with Penelope's impatience. She had waited sixteen years, and felt that she could wait no longer.

'It's crunch time, Alphard,' she muttered as she took out her wand and disapparated back home.

* * *

'My Lord?'

Tom looked up from his book on ancient dark arts.

'Yes?' he murmured.

'We're going to go exterminate numbers 50-70 on The List tonight. We're about to leave.'

Tom nodded and looked back to his book as Dolohov bowed out of the room. He waited as he heard the footsteps of the Death Eaters leaving the house before continuing to read the paragraph.

The front door slammed shut and he was, for the first time in days, alone. He liked the feeling. Even though Dolohov merely waited on him, he hated it. Of course, he couldn't do _without_ such a servant, but there were times when he wished that he could just be left completely alone.

He stood up and stretched his long limbs, closing his eyes as he cracked his knuckles. It was a warm evening, and he hated it because it reminded him of she who he was trying to forget.

He clenched his fists as he remembered how she had ignored him that morning. It sent such a strong wave of anger through him that he automatically walked to the other side of the room and picked up his wand.

But then he remembered himself.

'We'll kill her soon,' he said to himself. 'But not now. The timing has to be right. She may be a mudblood, but she's a special one. I have to plan that her death is especially torturous.'

A cruel smile twisted at his lips at the thought. Suddenly, he felt a strong impulse to _kill_. It had been far too long. In fact, he hadn't killed anyone upon his return to England.

'That fool, Dolohov, has probably killed more mudbloods than we have,' he muttered angrily.

He glanced back to his book on the Dark Arts and shook his head.

'What's the use in _reading_ about it, if we're never to put them to practise?'

Without a moment's hesitation, he stalked out of the room and found The List.

'Mordred Hill it is,' he said grimly.

When he arrived, he was accosted with the terrified screams of a woman, and the raucous laughter of his Death Eaters. As he made his way through them, they gasped and bowed to him.

He had never joined them on a killing raid. He had always been above such things.

Crabbe and Goyle, who were torturing the woman, suddenly stopped as they caught sight of their Dark Lord.

'A very fine job, Crabbe, Goyle,' he said, nodding to them.

They bowed to him and sidled back into the pack of Death Eaters who had surrounded the woman who was lying in a tattered heap on the ground.

Tom screwed up his nose as he walked into the centre of the circle.

'Show your face,' he said coldly.

She shook her head and sobs wracked her body.

Tom clicked his fingers and she was suddenly flung up in the air, as though suspended by an invisible noose. Fasciculations ran all over her body as she wriggled and writhed.

'Please,' she gasped. 'Have mercy. Please….'

Tom said nothing as he looked at her. She had long brown hair, just like Selene.

The thought of Selene sent another wave of anger through him.

'Mercy? I do not know the word,' he whispered, walking around the woman.

He snapped his fingers again, and she howled in pain.

'S….Stop!' she screamed. 'P…'

She screamed again and Tom watched with a detached curiosity as he saw blood streaming down out of her eyes like tears.

'Do you know what's flowing out of you?' he said, eventually.

The woman gasped for air as the blood began to rise up in her throat.

'It's your mudblood,' Tom said coldly. 'You had no right to join our world and for your cheek, you must die.'

The woman's eyes widened in horror and Tom hesitated.

He had always made sure that his kills were _meaningful. _Anyone else was beneath him and not worth the effort.

But, as the woman's long brown hair whipped in the air, he realised that it would be a meaningful kill.

It would be the first step to killing Selene.

Without any further hesitation, he pointed his wand at her and bellowed-

'Avada Kedavra!'

He walked through the Death Eaters and apparated back home. As soon as he reached his study, he burst out into unrestrained, evil laughter.

Finally, he felt cured of Selene's witchcraft.

He paused and smiled grimly as he thought of her.

'You're next.'

* * *

Sean smiled as he let Alphard into his apartment.

'Sorry about the other day,' he said sheepishly. 'I guess I jumped to conclusions on the whole baby thing.'

Alphard nodded tightly and sighed as he sunk onto Sean's couch.

'She's going to leave me,' he said stiffly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Sean's eyes widened in surprise.

'Selene? Nah, she won't…'

Alphard shook his head.

'No, she said it. And it wasn't like those other half-hearted attempts in the past. This was real- she told me flat out that I had to either marry her, or we were to be 'housemates'. She's sleeping in the other room, doesn't cook or clean anymore…'

Sean frowned.

'What's concerning you most- her telling you that she's going to leave you, or that she's no longer feeding you?'

Alphard scowled.

'Her leaving me, obviously.'

Sean nodded.

'She has a point.'

'Sean!' Alphard gasped. 'You don't mean that!'

Sean shrugged.

'I do. Alphie, you're my best friend, but you haven't treated her properly. You've been incredibly selfish and haven't considered what _she _may have wanted from life. Did you ever think that, perhaps, she might want kids? To be married?'

'I know she does,' Alphard muttered reluctantly. 'But I'm not ready…'

'Merlin, Alphie, how long is it going to take you to be 'ready'? You've had sixteen bloody years, and you're still not ready?'

Alphard mumbled something under his breath.

'Look,' Sean said firmly. 'She's a brilliant girl, but you're making her unhappy. She deserves to be happy. If you don't get out of your comfort zone and get on with it, she'll leave you and she should! Personally, I think she's been far too forgiving already.'

Alphard crossed his arms.

'You always used to hate her. Now you're on her side?'

'You already know what she did for me,' Sean said quietly. 'I'll never forget it.'

Alphard sighed impatiently.

'Why can't we just continue as we are?'

'Because,' Sean snapped. 'You're not a child anymore, Alphie. You're both grown adults and soon it might even be too late for a family. Surely you can understand that someone like Selene- an orphan- would _want _to have a family. It's probably what she wants most in this world!'

Alphard said nothing.

'Do you love her?' Sean sighed.

'Yes,' Alphard snapped.

'Do you honestly think you're ever going to love anyone else like you do her?'

Alphard shook his head.

'Then what are you waiting for? Relationships are about concessions, and it's your turn to make a concession. You want her, but she won't have you anymore without making it decent.'

'Cruel,' Alphard muttered.

'No, not cruel!' Sean cried. 'She's right! So get off your sodding arse and buy her a ring! Go _do_ _something_, Alphard! You must be the most stubborn, lazy person I've ever met!'

Alphard scowled at Sean, but then sighed.

'I suppose… you're right,' he said reluctantly.

Sean nodded.

'Of course I am!'

'But what if she wants kids…. Straight away?'

Sean shrugged.

'Have them. It's about time you two got onto expanding your little bubble of two.'

Alphard paled at the thought, but then nodded.

'I guess…'

He trailed off, and then looked up Sean.

'Will you help me buy the ring?'

Sean smiled widely.

'Will I ever! I'll have you know that my taste in jewellery is _impeccable!_'

Alphard shifted uncomfortably, but Sean laughed at him.

'Okay, just let me grab my cloak and we'll go. Ring shopping- _how exciting!_'

* * *

Selene walked around the empty house impatiently. Eventually, she could take the suspense no longer. She stopped walking and closed her eyes as she concentrated as hard as she could on making the connection between their minds.

_Tom_.

She waited, her heart pounding in her chest as she waited for his response.

When there was none, her shoulders sunk in disappointment. She wondered if, perhaps, he was angry that she hadn't responded to him.

She knew it was wrong. She wished that she had better self-control than to go back to him, especially when she knew of the destruction he was causing…

But she couldn't help it. After her dream the night before- that dream which seemed so fantastically and eerily real- she knew that she wouldn't rest until she saw him.

_Tom. I was busy before. I need to see you._

Again, she waited and, again, there was no response.

_Tom! Don't play these ridiculous games. You must have contacted me for a reason. _

She waited and then she heard it- that voice which frightened her and yet made her heart flutter at the same time.

_The hut. Now._

Selene smiled tentatively as she walked into the living room. Tom was facing the fireplace and she paused at the door and simply looked at him. She couldn't understand why, of all people in the world, he had to be the one she shared a connection with. He was the most impossible person in the world.

'What do you want?' Tom said coldly, not turning to face her.

'I… I…'

She herself wasn't exactly sure. All she knew when she contacted him was that the house was empty, and she was once again bored.

But how could she tell Tom that she simply wanted to see him because she wanted some _excitement _in her life?

Tom turned around, his features darker than Selene could ever remember seeing them.

'You said you wanted to see me,' he said, a menacing edge to his tone. 'I assume you had a reason for doing so?'

Selene bowed her head.

'I'm not sure anymore,' she murmured.

She then looked up at him.

'But you contacted me first. This morning- remember?'

Tom looked away, his lips becoming a thin line. He then turned on her, suddenly.

'Did you contact me last night?'

Selene looked at Tom strangely.

'No… but…'

She blushed, and Tom's eyes narrowed.

'Look at me,' he growled.

Selene looked up into his dark eyes, shocked. Tom held her gaze and, suddenly, saw flashes in her mind of his supposed 'dream', the night before.

He pushed her away roughly.

'It wasn't a dream,' he spat. 'How do you know where I live?'

Selene clutched at her chest, her heart beating wildly.

'What do you mean?' she gasped. 'That… last night? It happened?'

Tom pulled out his wand and held it to her throat.

'Don't lie to me,' he hissed.

Selene paled.

'I'm not lying, Tom!' she whispered. 'I don't know where you live, and I swear last night was a dream.'

Tom held her gaze again, and searched her mind for what she had done the night before. He saw her getting out of bed, in the middle of the night, and shivering from the cold. She threw her cloak on and went to the bathroom where she splashed water on her face, before going outside to her back yard. There, she lay on the grass as she drifted off to sleep.

He turned away suddenly.

'How?' he hissed. 'How did we both have the same dream?'

Selene rubbed her neck from where his wand had been.

'I don't know,' Selene said regretfully. 'Maybe it's our mind connection? Maybe we're having shared dreams as well?'

Tom clenched his fists.

'I don't want to _share dreams_ with you,' he hissed. 'I want you _out_ of my life. You have no hold over me anymore, and that's how it's to remain. I can't have you meddling with my thoughts and dreams.'

Selene looked down, hurt.

'I agree. I don't want you in my thoughts and dreams either,' she said quietly.

'Well,' Tom said lightly. 'The way I see it, there's one very simple solution.'

Selene raised an eyebrow, and a cool smile came to his lips.

'I kill you.'

Selene took a step back, her face ashen. Suddenly, Tom looked so different from the handsome man she had always seen. His skin was like the white of a fish belly, and his eyes evil red slits.

'What's happened to you?' she gasped, taking another step back as she gripped her wand tightly behind her.

'I'm not the lovely 'Tom' you seem to think I am,' he hissed. 'I am _Lord Voldemort.'_

Selene felt her knees locking.

'Tom, your face…'

'This is who I am, Selene,' he whispered coldly. 'I am a cold-blooded killer. Do you know what I did, only an hour ago?'

Selene shook her head slowly, her eyes wide. A cruel smile came to Tom's lips.

'I killed a woman,' he hissed. 'And she looked just like you.'

Selene felt a chill through her veins as she looked up at him.

'You're right. You aren't Tom anymore. I don't know you.'

'And you won't know anyone else anymore either,' he said, pointing his wand at her throat again, as he closed the distance between them. 'Because I'm going to kill you.'

Selene looked up at him, her expression unreadable.

'Oh, but you're not scared?' he whispered, annoyance clear in his tone.

Selene shook her head, not breaking eye contact.

'No. I'm not,' she said. 'You don't scare me, Tom. You never have, and you never will.'

Tom dug his wand deeper into the skin of Selene's throat. She winced a little.

'Ah… there it is,' he whispered. '_Now_ you're scared.'

'Having your wand in my throat isn't the most comfortable thing,' Selene retorted. 'But that doesn't mean I'm _scared_ of you.'

Tom took a step closer to her, their faces barely an inch apart.

'What about death, Selene? Tell me, do you fear it?'

Selene leant forward, her lips brushing Tom's as she spoke—

'No, not even death. Nothing you do to me can scare me, Tom.'

She then pressed her own wand against his abdomen and she smiled cruelly as she saw his eyes widen in shock.

'Now you tell me, Tom- do _you_ fear death?'

Tom laughed coldly.

'You can try, but it won't work. You can't kill me.'

Selene considered his statement.

'See, that's where you're wrong, Tom,' she whispered. 'Because I _can _kill you… but I choose not to.'

Tom's lip curled into a menacing smile.

'You were always nothing but a mudblood fool.'

Selene continued to watch him silently, smiling coldly. She was waiting.

'No last words?' he hissed.

She chuckled against his lips. Her lack of reaction made Tom's blood boil. Finally, he could take it no longer—

'Avada Kedavra!'

* * *

**I do feel rather cruel about ending the chapter there…**

**Next chapter-**

'_It's Malkin! She's had the baby!'- _Florean

**Please leave me a review before you leave. I'm very stressed out with uni at the moment so a review from each and every one of you would really make my day! **

**Love, Anya**


	46. Chapter 46: I Have A Son

_**And the sky might catch on fire **_

_**And burn the axis of the world **_

_**That's why I prefer a sunless sky **_

_**To the glittering and stinging in my eyes **_

_**I feel so light **_

_**This is all I want to feel tonight **_

_**I feel so light **_

_**Tonight and the rest of my life**_

**- 'Tonight and the Rest of My Life', Nina Gordon**

**

* * *

**

**I Have A Son**

**.**

Selene landed on her bed with a crash. She sat up immediately, clutching at her chest and gasping for air.

'I can't believe he… I can't believe…'

She rested her head against the bed-head as she suddenly felt a wave of dizziness overcoming her. Her vision began to blur and her head felt impossibly heavy.

_You don't fear death?_

Her eyes flew open and she forced herself to sit up. Her hands trembled as tried to haul herself off the bed. As soon as her feet touched the ground, she fell onto a heap on the floor.

It was the biggest shock of her life. She had always known Tom would hurt her, that he would never treat her as he should, that normal rules could never apply to him—

But for him to actually send that deadly curse her way? No, she never thought he was capable of doing that.

She covered her eyes as she remembered how disfigured and grotesque his face was when she finally saw his true self. Gone was that boy who had told her, once upon a time in an empty classroom, that she should stay good. Gone was that boy who had envied her purity.

He had been replaced by a monster. A cold-blooded monster who was capable of anything.

Selene stifled a sob and picked up the bedside lamp and threw it at the wall. It smashed into hundreds of shards of green glass and she cried as a few of them rebounding back onto her. She looked down as at the crystals that were lodged in her skin and gritted her teeth as she pressed it in deeper.

'So… stupid,' she seethed angrily, closing her eyes as she felt the adrenaline of pain seeping through her. 'All this time, all my life, I've made excuses for that… for that…'

She let out an angry scream and she stood up and punched the wall. She cried as her fist collided with the wall, but did it again and again until her blood had stained the white paint crimson.

When her hand had become numb, she stopped and looked down at her hand. It was a disfigured and bloodied mess. Nostrils flaring, she brushed the sweat off her forehead with her other hand and closed her eyes and stood very still as she waited for her heat rate to slow down. But as her heart slowed, she became acutely aware that her hand was throbbing and intensely painful.

Sighing, she waved her hand at the wall, making the blood disappear, before walking out of the room. She made her way gingerly down the steps and froze as she heard the front door unlocking. She bit her lip as Alphard opened the door, just as she had reached the bottom step.

His eyes lit up when he saw her.

'Hey… uh… Hi… Listen, I…'

Selene winced again as she felt the pain in her hand intensifying. Alphard trailed off as he noticed her hand.

'Selene, what happened?' he breathed, running up to her. 'Your hand- what?'

'I…'

Selene faltered as she failed to come up with a plausible explanation.

'I need to go to Hospital,' she sighed, finally.

* * *

Selene was silent as she waited in the Emergency Department with Alphard. He put his arm around her and kissed her forehead.

'Is it getting worse?' he asked gently.

Selene sniffed.

'It's… the same,' she whispered, closing her eyes as she rested her head against his shoulder.

She had never felt closer to Alphard. Suddenly, it occurred to her that she was mostly to blame for why they had ended up as they were. For she had never given herself to him. She had never allowed herself to love him fully, because she had always felt some sick kind of loyalty to Tom. But now that bond was fully severed. The only thing she felt for him was a hot hatred that burned at her insides like arsenic.

She took a deep breath and nestled her head against his chest.

'Selene Asteria?'

'Come on,' Alphard murmured, helping her up and leading her to the Healer's room.

...

They watched each other the entire time as the Healer reset the bones in her hand and applied potions so that there would no residual scar. When she was done, they walked out of the Hospital quietly.

'Do you want to go home?' Alphard asked as they walked out to the starry night.

Selene looked up at the sky and shook her head.

'No. Not yet.'

'Shall we go for a drink? We haven't gone out in while.'

Selene smiled at him tentatively and nodded.

'That would be nice.'

..

Selene giggled as she sipped from her third martini.

'He wouldn't believe that he wasn't gay, even though the man kept saying he wasn't! And… and then,' Alphard laughed, 'He kissed him! In full view of everyone- including his wife!'

They burst out laughing, and Selene wiped the tears from her eyes.

'That's hilarious,' she laughed. 'Oh Merlin, I miss Sean. Why don't we ever have him over?'

Alphard finished his drink and motioned to the waiter for another.

'We should. We should have everyone over. I've been thinking a lot about what you said the other day- and you were right,' he said earnestly. 'I'm going to make things right between us. I want everything.'

Selene smiled painfully and leant forward and kissed him slowly.

'I like this song,' she murmured. 'Let's dance.'

She held out a hand to Alphard up and they both tripped a little as they made their way to the dance-floor. Alphard pulled her to him closely as they moved slowly to the music.

Selene closed her eyes as she let the music and effects of alcohol numb her mind. She just wanted to forget.

Her breath caught as Alphard's lips skimmed across her jawline. She ran her hands through his hair, pulling him to her as she kissed him slowly as they continued to sway to the music.

..

He carried her up the stairs. They never broke their kiss as he kicked open the door to their bedroom and he stumbled to the bed, setting her down on the edge.

Her eyelids fluttered as she slowly undid the zip to her dress, and Alphard groaned as he saw her lingerie underneath.

'I've wanted to see this on you for so long now,' he murmured, tracing over the staps of her emerald green bra, before reaching around the back and undoing it.

Selene shifted to the centre of the bed and watched Alphard as he climbed next to her. She touched his face, her hazel eyes wide as she traced the lines of his high, chiselled cheekbones.

'I love you,' she whispered slowly. 'I really do.'

She looked up at him and saw that Alphard's expression was suddenly unreadable.

'Are you okay?' she asked.

He suddenly smiled widely and kissed her again, more passionately this time.

'Yes,' he whispered against her lips as they lay back on the bed. 'Thank you. _Thank you_.'

* * *

Malkin toyed with her soup miserably. Florean bit his lip as he watched her.

'What's wrong?' he sighed.

Malkin looked up at him and shrugged.

Florean pursed his lips. Ever since she had given up her label, Malkin had spiralled into a depression. It wasn't severe, but it was bad enough for him to notice that she was acutely unhappy with her life.

They both looked at each other as the doorbell rang.

'Are you expecting someone?' Malkin asked.

Florean shook his head and went to the door. When he returned, he was accompanied by Professor Dumbledore.

'Professor!' Malkin exclaimed, standing up suddenly. 'What a surprise!'

Dumbledore bowed his head.

'I'm sorry to disturb you. I appreciate it would have been common courtesy for me to give you notice of my visit.'

Malkin and Florean shook their heads and pulled out a chair for Dumbledore to take a seat.

'I won't detain you for long, I merely had a proposition to put to you, Malkin,' Dumbledore said, fixing his gaze on Malkin.

Malkin looked surprised.

'Me?'

Dumbledore nodded, placing the tips of his long fingers together.

'Yes. I've been thinking that the Hogwarts School Uniform is in dire need of updating for a while now. I was thinking of who I could ask to perform design the new uniform and then I thought- who better to ask than Malkin?'

Malkin's eyes lit up.

'Me? Design the new uniform?'

Dumbledore smiled.

'Yes, if you're interested. Obviously it won't be quite as interesting as those gowns that you're used to designing…'

'No! It's wonderful. It's just what I need,' Malkin gushed. 'Thank you!'

..

'Isn't this brilliant?' Malkin laughed as she and Florean got into bed. 'I'm _finally_ going to have something to do with myself!'

Florean was silent for a moment, but then saw how happy Malkin was and couldn't help smiling.

'Yes, it is,' he said, kissing her. 'I'm glad to see you smiling again.'

Malkin clapped her hands excitedly.

'I've just been so _bored!_ I can't sit at home all day doing nothing. And then I'll be able to open up a store to supply the school robes after the baby! Florean, don't you see? It's wonderful! It's a low-stress job with a steady income.'

Florean hugged Malkin to him and rested his hand on her curved belly.

'Just so long as you don't over-exert yourself,' he said, kissing her, 'Remember that we'll probably be exhausted when the baby comes.'

Malkin waved her hand dismissively at this comment. Florean frowned at her, but then decided that he didn't want to start an argument with Malkin now that she was happy for the first time in months.

'Ah...well done, my darling,' he sighed, kissing her once again.

* * *

As soon as she woke up, Selene ran to the bathroom and threw up. Her hands shook as she washed her face. Even though she had managed to escape what Tom had done to her through numerous cocktails the night before, her dream had brought the memories back in an instant.

Now she kept seeing that blinding green light. She was sure it would haunt her forever.

Gingerly, she climbed back into bed. She couldn't help smiling as Alphard instinctively pulled her close to him as he slept. His warmth was her only comfort.

She heard him groaning a little as he roused. He sat up and smiled as he saw her watching him.

'Good morning,' he grinned, kissing her. 'Big night, last night?'

Selene smiled.

'Hm. I think I may have had a few cocktails too many. Either way, I can't remember anything after my fifth martini.'

Alphard's face fell and Selene laughed at him.

'Don't look so disappointed. I remember all of it.'

His face lit up and he kissed her slowly.

'Things are going to be right again, aren't they?' Selene murmured. 'Like Venice.'

Alphard stopped kissing her and nodded.

'It's going to be even _better_ than Venice. I promise.'

As they looked into each other's eyes, Selene saw that- for the first time- Alphard truly meant it. Suddenly, it felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

Smiling, she pulled him to her and kissed him again.

..

Alphard hummed to himself as he walked up the street back to their house. He wanted to surprise Selene with coffee and fresh pastries for when she finished her show.

He wondered what had held him back, all these years, from taking the next step with Selene. He had always wished for them to return to that same state of happiness they had when in Venice, but had never realised that it would be so simple as accepting that he wanted no one else, and that he wanted to marry her so that no one else could have her now.

As he reached his house, he smiled as he thought of what it would be like to have a son. Suddenly, he envisioned toys scattered across the front yard, peals of laughter of their children as they ran around the house…

He put his hand in his pocket and checked that the ring box was still there. Now all he had to do was find the perfect moment to propose to her.

'What's this?' Selene smiled as she saw the spread on the breakfast table.

Alphard smiled and pushed out a chair for her.

'Breakfast for the lady,' he grinned. 'Coffee?'

Selene nodded, smiling.

Alphard opened his mouth to speak. He was so happy and ready to be married that he wanted to ask her then and there.

He was interrupted by the sound of a loud crack in their hallway.

'Hello? Hello?'

Alphard and Selene stood up suddenly and saw Florean as he ran up to them, his hair a black mess on top of his head, and his eyes feverish.

'It's Malkin,' he gasped. 'She's had the baby!'

* * *

Alphard shifted awkwardly as he was left alone in the room with Malkin. Selene had gone with Florean to help him find supplies for Malkin.

'Congratulations,' he offered.

Malkin smiled and kissed the tip of her baby son's nose gently.

'Thank you,' she said softly.

Alphard took a seat in the chair next to her, a strange expression coming over his features.

'It's so strange to see you with a baby,' he said quietly. 'I… wow, how time changes things.'

Malkin's lips pursed, but she didn't look at Alphard.

'I don't want to think about my past right now. I don't think it's a good energy for little Felix.'

Alphard nodded.

'I know. It's just… I'm happy for you.'

Malkin regarded Alphard beadily.

'You could be just as happy, you know,' she said stiffly.

Alphard smiled.

'I know. I plan on it. Very soon.'

Malkin's eyes widened.

'What! Selene's… she's….'

Alphard shook his head.

'No, we'll take things one step at a time. Now, tell me, what's your opinion on this ring? After all, you _are _her best friend. Sean's gay- so I guess his opinion isn't bad- but I'd like your professional opinion. Will she like it?'

Malkin gasped as she took the box from Alphard and opened it to reveal a ring with a thin gold band, set with a brilliantly large diamond.

'That's… huge!' Malkin choked. 'It's….'

'Do you think she'll like it?' Alphard asked eagerly.

Malkin looked up at him and nodded wordlessly.

'If she doesn't,' she said, handing back the ring. 'I'll have it. That must have cost you a fortune!'

Alphard shrugged.

'She deserves it, and much more' he said. 'After what I've put her through…'

Malkin smiled at him.

'Congratulations,' she said. 'I'm so happy for you both.'

Alphard smiled happily and they sat in silence for a while. Eventually, Alphard spoke-

'May... may I hold Felix?'

Malkin hesitated, but then nodded. Carefully, she passed her son over to Alphard.

Alphard's breath caught as he held the baby. At that instant, he knew for certain that he wanted it all- wife, family… he wanted all of it.

Finally, he was well and truly ready.

* * *

'My Lord, this is the revised list. You'll notice that it's quite short now.'

Tom extended took the lists from Gritz and rubbed his long, white fingers together as he saw that there were only fifty names left.

He noticed Selene's name at the bottom of the list and clenched his fists, before scanning the other names.

'This 'Penelope Ashwood' has no other names linked to her. Why is this?'

Gritz put on his spectacles and peered down at the list.

'Because she is a child. An orphan, I believe. We found her on the short-list for Hogwarts.'

'Orphan?' Tom interrupted sharply.

Gritz nodded, and shuffled through his pile of parchments to find her details.

'Ah, here she is,' he said, handing Tom the piece of parchment. 'Yes, she's currently at the North Shore Orphanage.'

Tom suddenly became very still. He then waved a hand at Gritz.

'Very well. I don't want anyone to kill this girl. She is to be mine. Is that understood?'

Gritz bowed and made a note of it on The List.

'Yes, m'Lord.'

'That is all, Gritz. Be sure to inform Dolohov that I will take my tea in ten minutes time and that I don't want roast beef as I had originally requested.'

Gritz paled.

'What would you would prefer, my Lord?'

Tom's lips twisted in a cruel smile.

'Veal.'

* * *

'Shall we go out to dinner, tonight?' Alphard said as he and Selene entered the house.

Selene chewed her lip nervously.

'No… no, I'll cook tonight. We have to stay in.'

Alphard frowned.

'Is everything alright? Why do we have to stay in?'

Selene faltered.

'After last night, I want an early night,' she lied. 'I'll go prepare dinner.'

She kissed Alphard's cheek and made her way to the kitchen, her hands shaking. Seeing Malkin with her new son had reminded Selene of the Asteria Curse- the curse she had conveniently forgotten about over the years, and the very curse that she still kept secret from Alphard.

She massaged her temples as she paced the kitchen.

She thought that, if Alphard was sincere about making things right between them- and, this time, she truly believed he was- then she owed him the truth. The whole truth.

Selene exhaled slowly.

Now that she had tasted happiness with Alphard for the first time in so long, she was desperate not to lose it. She knew there was a very real risk that she would lose him forever if he couldn't accept her predicament.

She shivered at the thought.

'But you still have to tell him,' she muttered to herself. 'Because if you die, he will be left with a baby. It's a huge responsibility and he has every right not to take it on.'

She winced at the thought.

'But it's his right to know. I have to tell him,' she sighed as she tied the apricot-coloured apron around her waste and set to chopping the vegetables.

...

'Smells wonderful,' Alphard smiled as Selene set his dinner plate in front of him.

She smiled weakly and took her seat opposite him. They sat in silence for a while, both pushing the food around their plate- too nervous to eat.

'I—'

'I—'

They both stopped and looked at each other, their eyes wide.

'What were you going to say?' Selene said quickly, talking a gulp of wine.

Alphard shook his head.

'Nothing- you go.'

Selene faltered.

'Oh… it's nothing,' she muttered, looking back down at her plate.

More silence ensued.

'It's raining today,' Alphard said, grimacing as he realised how inane his comment was.

Selene nodded eagerly.

'Yes. It is.'

'But not too much, really. Not like last week.'

'No,' Selene replied. 'It's just spitting.'

They both looked at each other awkwardly, before clearing their throats and fixing their gazes on their meals.

'There's something I want to—'

"There's something you have to—'

Again, they stopped and waited for the other to continue. Eventually, Selene sighed.

'I have to tell you something,' Selene sighed. 'Tonight.'

Alphard nodded.

'Me too.'

Selene's eyes widened.

'What…' she said curiously.

'Please, you first,' Alphard said.

Selene bit her lip.

'You're right. I have to go first,' she sighed.

Alphard smiled and reached for her hand across the table. Selene winced at this contact, and pulled her hand away.

'I… I have a secret,' she whispered, her hazel eyes becoming wide. 'A secret that I should have told you a very long time ago.'

* * *

**To all those who were happy about Selene being dead (I don't think there were too many), sorry. To those who thought she was- sorry for worrying you!**

**Next chapter-**

'_I've come to take you away. Forever,' _– Selene to Penelope

AND

'_You need to calm down. This isn't the time for histrionics. Do as I say, or I will have no choice but to kill you' _– Tom to Selene

**I would say that the next chapter is the second-biggest (plot-wise) chapter in this story. It's going to be huge.**

**You know what to do. (It starts with a 're' and ends with a 'view')**

**Love, Anya**

**p.s. Reminding you that you can find the links to my Livejournal, Tumblr, Advice Tumblr and Twitter on my Author's Page on this site.**


	47. Chapter 47: Get Thee Gone

_We seven kids, we almost died_

_Nearly put to death_

_But lightning strike_

_Instead there was hot pink_

_Flashes in the sky_

_We climb the rocks in snowing rain_

_In search of magic power_

'_**Lemonade'-**_** CocoRosie

* * *

**

**Get Thee Gone**

Selene faltered as she noticed Alphard's surprised expression.

'Does this have something to do with Riddle?' he burst out, suddenly.

'Tom? What? No…' Selene breathed, shaking her head. 'No, not Tom. It's… this is just about me. It's…'

She faltered, despair gripping her as she saw Alphard's expression.

She had no idea how she was supposed to tell him that she was someone completely different to who he thought she was.

She reached for her wine glass and drained it. The chink of the glass on the polished wood reverberated in the silence.

'You…. You've always been under the impression that I'm… ah…'

She wrung her hands nervously under the table.

'That you're what?'

Selene looked down at her plate.

'That I'm… that I'm muggleborn.'

Her statement was met with silence, and Selene looked up to see Alphard watching her strangely.

'You _are_ muggleborn,' he said slowly. 'Everyone knows that.'

Selene shook her head.

'No. I used to _think_ I was muggleborn… until Professor Dumbledore told me who I really am.'

Alphard rubbed his eyes.

'What are you saying?'

Selene swallowed nervously. Her eyes darted to the door, behind Alphard.

'I'm pureblood,' she said quietly.

Alphard reached for his wine glass and took a sip. He set it back down on the table slowly, smacking his lips. Selene couldn't be sure if he was frowning from the tartness of the wine, or her statement.

Alphard cleared his throat.

'How long have you known this?'

Selene cringed as she realised how terrible her next statement was going to sound.

'Ever since I came Of Age,' she mumbled.

Again, Alphard reached for his wine glass. His expression was unchanged.

'I've wanted to tell you so many times,' she continued quickly, 'But I never knew how!'

Alphard drained his glass

'How hard could it have been to tell me?' he said, barely louder than a whisper. His tone was so steely that Selene shivered.

He looked up at her and Selene could see that his grey eyes matched his tone- grey steel.

'Why keep it a secret?' he added, his gaze unwavering.

Selene winced.

'Because,' she whispered, tears pricking her eyes. 'My being pureblood barely scratches the surface of what I have to tell you.'

..

'… and that's… it,' Selene said, holding her breath as she waited for Alphard's reaction.

He had been silent throughout her entire explanation, and his silence had frightened her. Now that she had finished, he was looking at her as though she was a complete stranger.

'Did you… did you understand everything I said?' she whispered. 'I found it a bit confusing at first.'

She winced as Alphard's chair screeched across the floor as he stood up suddenly and left the room.

'Alphie, wait…'

He suddenly rounded on her.

'Wait?' he seethed. 'WAIT?'

Selene flinched.

'All these years, you've out that _I _was the criminal in this relationship- the one who 'wouldn't commit to you."

Selene bowed her head.

'But now I see that I was never the problem! It was you! Seventeen fucking years, Selene! Not months- _years!_'

He tugged at his dark hair.

'Do you mean to tell me,' he shouted, 'that in the _seventeen years_ I've known you, you never thought that you should _tell _me that you're just a cursed copy of Circe's daughter?'

Selene gasped.

'Is that all you think I am?' she whispered, wounded.

Alphard snorted.

'I don't know _what _you are,' he said, sounding disgusted. 'Other than a liar and a hypocrite.'

Selene took his arm.

'But I'm the same person, Alphard,' she whispered gently, tears streaking down her pale cheeks. 'Why does it matter what my heritage is? How is this worse than being nothing but a muggleborn orphan?'

Alphard shrugged her hand off his arm.

'Because,' he spat, 'I thought I could _trust _that person. Evidently, I was mistaken.'

He paused, and suddenly his eyes widened.

'You're in with Riddle, aren't you?' he gasped. 'I always wondered why he never killed you on the spot- it's because of your…'

'He doesn't know,' Selene interrupted, her cheeks flushing. 'No one knows. I'm not supposed to tell anyone, Alphard. It's meant to be a secret. Don't you see? Dumbledore told me to keep it all a secret- for my safety from people like Tom. _That's _why I couldn't….'

'Don't make excuses,' Alphard said snidely, turning his back to her. 'You sicken me. I can't… I can't believe I've wasted seventeen years of my life on a lie.'

'But I wasn't lying,' Selene pleaded. 'I…'

'Get out!' Alphard shouted.

His words reverberated down the hallway.

'You don't mean that,' she whispered, her tears staining her red lips. 'You don't…'

Alphard's face became so dark that she took a step back.

'I do mean it,' he said through gritted teeth. 'I will _never_ trust you again.'

'Alphie, please…'

'Alphard,' he corrected, coldly. 'Only those who are close to me are allowed to call me Alphie.'

Selene stared at him, aghast. She had always expected he would be angry when she told him, but she never expected him to end their relationship over it.

Bowing her head, she quickly brushed away her tears.

'You're right,' she whispered. 'What I did was wrong- I should have told you a long time ago. You had every right to know what you were getting involved with. I'll go pack my things and will never bother you again.'

Alphard turned his back to her, breathing heavily, and Selene clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle her sob. When she saw that he wasn't going to turn around, she tore up the stairs to their bedroom.

She waved her wand in a frenzied panic, sending all her clothes flying out of the wardrobe and into her trunk.

This was not the time for sentimental goodbyes. She had to leave. Immediately.

She could barely see through her tears as she climbed down the stairs and she stumbled on the last step, crashing into her trunk.

Breathing unsteadily, she straightened herself and saw that Alphard hadn't moved. He was still pinching the bridge of his nose with his back turned to her.

Sniffing, Selene dragged her trunk out onto the patio. As she went to exit the house, she took one last look around the place she had lived in for so many years.

But it had always been like that for Selene. She had never found a permanent home- not at the orphanage, not at Hogwarts, and not with Alphard either.

She took a deep breath, feeling more tears stinging her eyes as she looked at Alphard for the last time.

'I'm so sorry that you wasted seventeen years of your life on me.'

* * *

'Can I help you, love?'

Selene's eyes fluttered open and she was immediately blinded by the blaze of the morning sun.

Rubbing her eyes, she sat up, wincing as she stretched her stiff neck.

'I'm fine,' Selene said hoarsely. 'Just tired.'

The lady smiled kindly at her.

'You don't want to go falling asleep at bus stops with your luggage in full view. It might get stolen.'

Selene smiled politely.

'You're right,' she said, stretching as she stood up and reached for her trunk.

'Oh, but the bus is just about to arrive,' the woman called after her.

Selene ignored her and continued to walk, pulling her trunk behind her. The night before, she had found the prospect of sleeping in a hotel- or explaining to Malkin and Florean why she had been kicked out- impossible.

She marvelled at how little she felt now. It was a strange feeling- a kind of empty numbness. She rather thought that she should be more upset that Alphard had rejected who she was so obviously…

But then she realised she wasn't surprised by his reaction. Perhaps that was why she had put off telling him for so many years—because she always knew that he wouldn't be able to accept her.

Selene came to a halt and pinched the bridge of her nose tightly. Even through the numbness, she could still feel that crushing pain in her chest. The pain of rejection.

In the space of forty-eight hours, she had managed to lose the only two men who had been constants in her life- first Tom, and then Alphard.

And that left her with no one.

Selene took a deep breath and looked up at the sky.

'Oh, you mock me,' she muttered at the sky that was the most brilliant shade of blue she had ever seen. 'Long gone are those days when I'd just smile and get on with it.'

Two children suddenly ran past her, the girl bumping into Selene as she chased her brother. Selene stared after them. She desperately wished that she could feel that kind of reckless, pure happiness.

She suddenly remembered Penelope. Slowly, she began to realise that her losing Alphard and Tom wasn't necessarily a bad occurrence.

In fact, it was probably a blessing in disguise.

Because now, finally, she would have Penelope and they would be each other's opportunity for a fresh start.

* * *

'Knock, knock.'

Penelope's eyes lit up when she saw Selene.

'Have you come to take me away?' she asked hopefully.

Selene smiled and nodded.

'Yes I have.'

Instead of smiling, Penelope's tiny mouth was set in a frown.

'Today?' she said, regarding Selene doubtfully.

Selene nodded.

'Yes. Today.'

'Oh Merlin!' Selene gasped as she was winded by Penelope who launched herself at Selene, hugging her tightly.

'Let's go! Let's go!' she repeated hurriedly. 'Now!'

Selene laughed and set Penelope down.

'We will. I've already signed the papers. You just need to pack your things.'

Penelope dove under her bed and pulled out a packed suitcase.

'Already done!' she announced. 'You promised you would take me away!' she added defensively as she noticed Selene's surprised expression.

'I did,' Selene nodded. 'And I am. Would you like me to carry that for you?'

Penelope nodded and held Selene's hand as they walked out of the dormitory.

Selene frowned as they walked down the hallway.

'Aren't you going to say goodbye to any of your friends?'

'Oh, I don't have any,' Penelope shrugged. 'They all think I'm strange. I scare them.'

Selene patted Penelope's head.

'Don't worry. You'll go to a school where they'll _teach _you magic. You'll be normal there.'

'When?' Penelope said excitedly. 'When will I go?'

'When you're eleven.'

Penelope pouted.

'So far away!'

Selene smiled.

'Yes, you have a while,' she conceded.

They came to the front door of the orphanage, and Selene sighed as she looked around the familiar corridor.

'Ready to leave?' she murmured.

She looked down to Penelope who glanced back at the orphanage. After a moment, Penelope looked up to Selene and nodded.

Selene pushed the door open and they walked out into the warm afternoon.

'Do you have a house?'

Selene faltered.

'Not yet.'

Penelope's eyes widened.

'Not yet? Where are we going to live!'

Selene laughed.

'Only a few days ago you were telling me that you would be quite happy to sleep on the floor!'

'Of a _house_,' Penelope added.

Selene tapped her nose.

'We might have to live in a hotel for a few days. You'll get a bed, so I hope that makes up for the lack of _house_.'

Penelope considered the offer and shrugged as they walked down the gravel pathway. Suddenly, Penelope dropped Selene's hand and ran down the front yard.

'Penelope! Where are you going?' Selene called.

'I forgot my lucky ball,' Penelope called, running to a bush and rummaging through it.

Suddenly, Penelope let out a piercing scream. Selene felt her blood freezing as she looked up and saw a group Death Eaters approaching Penelope.

* * *

'Alphie! How did it go?'

Alphard pushed past Sean without saying anything and slumped on the couch.

'She didn't say no, did she?' Sean frowned. 'Surely…'

'I never got that far,' spat Alphard.

'What do you mean?' Sean asked, confused.

'I mean,' Alphard said through gritted teeth, 'That she's been nothing but a lying _whore_ all these years. All these seventeen bloody years!'

Sean winced.

'What has she…'

Alphard shook his head.

'I don't want to talk about it. I…'

Alphard suddenly paused and regarded Sean.

'I never understood why you didn't like women,' he said softly. 'But now I do. They're nothing but lying, cheating whores. They're all the same- Ada, Selene… even Malkin backstabbed Selene when she was with me. You can't trust women.'

Sean cleared his throat.

'Really, it's got nothing to do with…'

Sean was cut short as Alphard pulled him to him and kissed him. Sean's eyes widened in shock and, after a moment, he pushed Alphard away.

'You're not gay,' Sean said quietly. 'Don't try doing this- it isn't you, Alphard.'

Sean flinched as Alphard bent over, face in his hands, sobbing.

'It… it isn't… fair. I only loved her, and she only ever betrayed me by lying or cheating.'

'Selene cheated on you?'

Alphard snorted.

'She always loved Riddle in some sick way,' he spat. 'If she had to choose, she would choose him.'

Sean's eyes widened.

'But she _hates_ Riddle!' he whispered.

Alphard laughed coldly.

'As I said- she's sick. They're all sick. They deserve each other. She'll probably end up a twisted, psychotic witch- just like her mother.'

'Mother?'

Alphard shut his eyes tightly and rubbed his temples.

'I don't want to talk about it,' he said softly. 'Just give me firewhiskey. I need to get that _bitch_ out of my system.'

* * *

'Now, now, the girl is mine,' he said clearly as he approached his Death Eaters who had surrounded his next target. 'But feel free to play with the abundant muggle sport_ inside_ the orphanage.'

'You stay away from her!'

Tom gasped as he saw Selene, more furious than he had ever seen her, running up to the girl and pulling her protectively behind her back.

The Death Eaters leered.

'Isn't this that Asteria girl? She's also on The List,' Hollick sneered.

'And they are both _mine_,' Tom said firmly.

He saw the disappointment in his Death Eaters at this statement.

'Leave them to me,' he ordered clearly. 'Go inside.'

_You will not allow them to kill all those innocent orphans!_

Tom fixed his eyes on Selene.

_Would you rather I killed you?_

Selene glared at him.

_You had no qualms about killing me the other day._

_I knew you would disapparate in time. I merely wanted to teach you a little lesson._

Tom glanced around at his Death Eaters. They were watching him and Selene curiously.

_They're getting suspicious. We have to duel to make this convincing._

_Do what you want to me. Just spare Penelope._

_What is that little mudblood to you?_

_She's my daughter._

She saw Tom's eyes widen in shock.

_Daughter? _

_I just adopted her. Tom, I don't care if you or your Death Eaters kill me. But don't kill her. She's never done…_

_She is nothing to me except another mudblood, putrifying my race by attempting magic._

He saw the desperation in Selene's eyes

_Tom, I have __nothing__ in this world. I have no one. Let us escape, and you'll never hear from either of us again. You owe me, Tom._

_I owe you nothing._

He saw Selene's grip on Penelope tightening.

_Very well. I'll spare your little toy- but only her. _

_Thank you, Tom. I never expected it of you, but thank you._

_Don't thank me yet. We need to duel, and I'm going to hurt you. We need to make this convincing. While I may bend the rules for you, I'm not about to lose face._

He saw her hesitating her hold on Penelope

_Selene, you can't duel and hold onto the girl at the same time. Let go of her. They already know they're not allowed to touch her._

Selene hesitated again, but released her hold on Penelope. They exchanged a glance and she whipped out her wand.

'Stand back!' she shouted. 'I'll kill you! I will!'

_Hah. Don't make me laugh_

_I'm just playing the game, Tom._

_At one point, I'll pretend to be distracted. You'll grab the girl and disapparate just in time. Is that understood? You have to be quick. And stay close to her. _

_What if your curse reflects onto her?_

_Do you have such little faith in my aim?_

_I lost all faith in you a very long time ago._

_Then you wouldn't have pleaded for mercy._

Selene sent a curse Tom's way, and he deflected it and laughed.

'You wish to duel _me?_' he roared. 'You think that you- a simple mudblood- can duel Lord Voldemort?'

The Death Eaters burst into raucous laughter.

'Selene, I'm scared,' Penelope cried from behind her.

'It's okay,' Selene said quietly. 'Just stay there. It'll be okay…'

Selene quickly worked at deflecting the curses Tom sent her way. The Death Eaters watched, mesmerised.

Suddenly, Tom feigned distraction.

_NOW! _

Selene turned to Penelope.

'Here, give me your hand,' she whispered hurriedly.

Penelope shook her head and began running.

_What's she doing? Why is she running? You're meant to have left!_

Selene ran after Penelope.

'Please, Penelope, give me your hand,' she called tearfully. 'We'll escape- just give me your…'

Tom suddenly noticed his Death Eaters had seen that the targets were running away. Before he could stop him, he saw Hollick drawing his wand.

'No!' he shouted. 'They're mi—'

'Avada Kedavra!'

Tom's eyes widened in horror as he saw the jet of green light streak past Selene, hitting the girl squarely in the back. Her body froze before falling to the ground in a tiny heap.

'NO!' Selene screamed, falling by Penelope's body and shaking her. 'No! No! No!'

Tom faltered for a moment.

_Selene, this isn't the time for histrionics. Do as I say, or I will have no choice but to kill you._

Selene ignored Tom and hugged Penelope's body to her, sobbing as she rocked her back and forth.

_SELENE! _

'What are you waiting for, my Lord?' Dolohov sneered. 'It's a clear target.'

Tom clenched his fists and pulled out his wand and aimed it at Selene, his hand trembling.

'_Petrificus Totalus.'_

The Death Eaters blinked.

'My Lord?'

'I'm capturing her to torture her for information,' Tom snapped, walking over to where Selene was, tears streaking down her cheeks. 'She's on close terms with that fool, Dumbledore. It would be rash for me to kill her without extracting information from her first.'

* * *

**It was so hard for me to kill Penelope, because I really liked her. That's one of the things I hate about writing- you develop characters, love them, and then have to kill them. It must derange us in some way. Someone should do a study on it.**

**Again, I am so sorry for the wait between chapters. I have been to hell and back these past few months. It really has been the most difficult period of my life, and I really appreciate your concerns and understanding. I'm not going to go into what happened, but all you need to know is that all is well and I can forsee no reason as to why you would have to wait so long for an update again!**

**Next chapter-**

'Of all people in the world, why were you the one that I had to want?' - **Selene to Tom**

**Please leave me a review if you feel like it =)**

**I probably won't update again before the New Year, so a very Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to each and every one of you, and I hope you all have a safe, happy and healthy 2011! **

**Lots and lots of love,**

**Anya**


	48. Chapter 48: Whither Should I Fly?

'_So let go, just get in_

_Oh, it's so amazing here_

_It's alright_

_'cause there's beauty in the breakdown'_

_**- "**_**Let Go," Frou Frou**

**

* * *

**

**Whither Should I Fly?**

'TOM!'

Tom covered his ears and willed himself to concentrate on his reading.

'TOM!'

Swearing, Tom snatched up his wand and pointed it at his door-

'_Silencio,' _he growled.

'TOM!'

He dropped his wand and groaned, rubbing his eyes. He had forgotten about their mind connection and he knew that no silencing charm could drown it out.

He crossed his arms as he pondered if there was, indeed, a way to end the connection.

'Ah,' he said lightly, as the answer occurred to him. '_That'._

He stood up and walked languidly over to the fireplace. He wasn't sure what was keeping him from killing Selene. He had her in a perfect noose- she was in his captivity, and all his Death Eaters were _expecting _him to kill her.

And yet, a whole day after her capture, he hadn't lifted a finger to harm her. In fact, he hadn't even been able to bring himself to see her.

Deciding that the silencing charm was useless, he waved his hand- removing it. Instantly, the room was filled with Selene's screams.

'LET ME OUT! I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!'

Tom flinched as he heard the sound of smashing glass in the room adjacent to his study. A few seconds later, there was a knock at his door.

'Yes?' he sighed.

Dolohov appeared at the door. He was more pale and drawn than ever, and Tom knew exactly why. All his Death Eaters were fearful of meeting the same fate as Hollick. The fact that he had placed Hollick's amputated hands on the meeting table probably didn't help in raising their spirits.

'My Lord,' Dolohov panted. 'We have her wand. Five of us singed our hands trying to pick it up. Eventually, we had to use tongs- and, even then, it melted them until we placed it on this pillow.'

Tom frowned as he saw the half-melted tongs, and took the cushion Dolohov presented him with.

He looked down at Selene's wand curiously.

'Is that all?'

Dolohov hesitated.

'With all due respect, my Lord, how long are you planning on torturing her for information? She's going crazy and Jollway says that she's proficient in wandless magic.'

Tom fixed his gaze on Dolohov.

'I will keep her as long as is necessary. That will be all.'

Dolohov bowed, and then hesitated again.

'Yes, Dolohov?' Tom prompted. 'You wish to speak. What is it?'

'It's just… We can't torture her, my Lord. Nothing works. Should we continue to try?'

They both froze as there was a piercing scream, followed by a thud and shouts of- 'she knocked him out! Get him out of there!'

Tom rolled his eyes.

'Useless,' he said coldly. 'You're all useless. Sometimes I wonder why I don't just finish you all off like the pathetic mudbloods on that List.'

'My… my Lord?' Dolohov stammered, blanching.

'Terminate any attempts at torturing the mudblood,' Tom snapped. 'And where's my lunch? I'm hungry.'

'At once, my Lord. What would you like?'

Tom's lip curled.

'Nothing, now,' he spat. 'The incompetence of my so-called followers has made me lose my appetite. Be gone!'

Dolohov needed no further instruction. He all but bolted for the door. Tom snorted as he heard Dolohov's shouts of 'It's alright. We don't have torture her anymore', followed by many exclamations of relief.

'Pathetic,' Tom muttered.

He paused and turned to observe Selene's wand. It looked curiously old.

'How on earth would she have obtained any wand of worth?' he muttered to himself.

Biting his lip, he reached forward and placed a long, pale finger on the handle of Selene's wand. He gasped and pulled his finger back to see that an angry, red blister.

'What _is _that wand?' he whispered to himself, in wonder. 'Has she put a curse on it? What on earth for?'

Frowning, he stood up. He could no longer avoid the fact that he was holding Selene hostage.

He left his room and went up to the room where he was holding Selene. He muttered a charm at the door. It clicked open, and he walked in.

He grimaced when he saw her. Her fists were bloody from where she had been pounding on the door, and her eyes were ablaze with manic hatred.

'I think you're being very melodramatic,' he said placidly. 'You know full well that Hollick has been dealt with appropriately.'

'YOUR KILLING HIM DOESN'T BRING HER BACK!' she screamed, stumbling over to him. 'I HATE YOU! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!'

'Now, Selene,' Tom said calmly, inspecting his nails. 'We know that's not possible without a wand. Speaking of, why does your wand burn us when we touch it?'

Selene laughed. It echoed through the room, tainted with its manic edge.

'Because only _I _can touch such a wand.'

Tom moved instinctively as he noticed movement above his head. The chandelier above him came to a crash on the floor, exactly where he had stood only a moment ago.

'You think I need a wand to kill you?' Selene whispered raspily. 'I don't need a wand to kill you!'

_Selene, if you don't calm down, I will be forced to make you._

Selene suddenly covered her ears with her hands and screamed. Tom flinched. It was a tinny, piercing scream that went to his very core.

'STOP!' he shouted.

She continued to scream. He could stand it no longer- he flicked his wand at her and sighed in relief as her screams ceased immediately. She clutched at her throat, her eyes widening. After a few seconds, Tom lifted the asphyxiation curse and she fell to the floor, gasping for air.

She hugged her knees, her entire body trembling.

'Get out of my head,' she mumbled dazedly. 'Get out… I d..don't want your p…poison. You're p…poison. You p…poisoned m…me. You k…killed h…her. G…get o….out!'

'Stop it!' Tom snapped. 'You're behaving as though you've lost your mind!'

Selene let out a sarcastic laugh. It made Tom shiver.

'Well maybe it's genetic,' she laughed, getting to her feet and stumbling over to where he was standing.

He stiffened as she gripped his shoulders.

'Tell me, Tom?' she drawled. 'What's it like being _born_ this crazy? Crazy enough to kill someone… crazy enough to…'

She trailed off and raised a hand and touched his face, her own bearing an expression of disgusted fascination.

'Crazy enough to disfigure your face like this?' she whispered.

Tom pushed her off him and walked to the other side of the room. She laughed drily.

'Don't you like the truth, Tom?' she leered. 'Because that's the truth! You were _born_ a psychopath. You don't know what it's like to feel, do you? I feel that way now and- you know what? I can see why you enjoy it. It's _brilliant_ to feel nothing at all. To not give a _fuck_.'

She let out another maniacal laugh.

'I'm taking you back to Black,' Tom snapped. 'You've lost your mind. I can't even kill you while you're like this. It's beneath me.'

'Black?' Selene repeated slowly. 'Black… Black…. Oh _Alphard! _Yes, _Alphard_, not _Alphie_, because I'm a stranger to him. Oh, you can take me back to Black, Tommy, but he won't take me back!'

Selene laughed again, trailing off as she became distracted by her hair. She picked up a tendril and looked at it curiously.

'Oh no, he's done with me too. Oh yes, he's done… gone…'

She suddenly tugged at her hair, and screamed. Tom started as he saw a chunk of her hair in her hands.

'Stop it,' he ordered, his voice wavering.

He had dealt with all sorts of people- muggles, wizards, mudbloods…

At their time of death, all had been terrified. But none had lost their minds, as Selene had now. He had never seen anything like it, and it terrified him.

Even more than death.

Selene touched her scalp lightly and screwed her nose as she saw blood on her fingers. She then shrugged and tossed her hair to the side and wiped her blood on the cream carpet.

'The only person who _isn't_ done with me, Tom, is you.' she said, quite plainly. 'Why is that?

Tom turned away from her. She stood up and went up to him and turned him to face her.

'Tell me, Tom, why didn't you just _kill_ me, yesterday? I saw the hesitation too- that split second that let me escape. Why is it, Tom, that you won't let a 'pathetic little mudblood' such as myself, go?'

Tom said nothing and Selene flung open her arms, exposing her chest.

'How about you do us both a favour, and you kill me right now,' she cried. 'You won't have me to hold you back, and I won't have to constantly _suffer_ at your hands. Do it, Tom. You know you want to.'

'Just stop it,' he said crossly, wishing he knew a spell or potion that could cure madness.

'Put your arms down, Selene,' he repeated, becoming angry. 'I'm not going to kill you. Why are you acting like this?'

'Why me?' Selene shouted. 'What sets me apart from all those people on that 'List' you have? Why won't you treat me just the—'

Tom suddenly pulled her to him and crashed his lips on hers, silencing her.

'That's why,' he whispered, breathing heavily. 'Because… because…'

Suddenly, he felt her palm cracking across his cheek. It echoed in the room.

'You think that I would _kiss_ you after what you've done to me?' she spat. 'Tom, you've taken _everything_ away from me. Do you see me as some last link between normalcy and being a psychopath?'

She laughed bitterly.

'I have news for you, Tom- Tommy Tom Tom.'

She laughed again, in spite of herself.

Oh Tom, Tom, Tom. You don't see it, do you? I see you- you're surprised at my madness, but you fail to see that you… you're already there.'

She went to the polished oak windows and leant against the red velvet curtain, closing her eyes tiredly. It was then that Tom really noticed just how changed Selene was- her pale skin was sallow, her lips, which had always been rosy red, were white, and her eyes were lifeless.

'You don't love me, or have feelings for me. You just _want_ me. I'm nothing more than a possession to you. Like that box of stolen toys you used to keep at the orphanage. You wouldn't play with any of them yourself, but you could have none else play with them either.'

Selene opened her eyes and slowly walked over to Tom. He flinched as she spat at his feet.

'I used to have hope for you. I used to hope that you would see some kind of light- but there isn't any hope for you, Tom. There is no forgiveness for the things you've done.'

Selene's lip curled.

'Even the deepest, most twisted pit of Hell is too good for you. I see that now.'

Tom's eyes flashed angrily and he suddenly pulled Selene to him, gripping her hair so tightly that she gasped in pain.

'Get. Out,' he whispered softly.

Selene's eyes widened as the door creaked open. He suddenly pushed her away from him and walked to the opposite side of the room, his face an unreadable mask. For a moment, she faltered as she watched him, because she once again saw the handsome Tom Riddle she had always known.

But then she remembered hugging Penelope's lifeless body to her, and she saw his true self once again.

Numbly, she walked out into the empty corridor. She passed Tom's study and saw her wand on a little blue cushion. Slowly, she walked in and picked up her wand.

A piece of parchment next to her wand caught her eye. There, she saw a name that caused a sob to rise in her chest-

Penelope Lavers.

But there was a cross through Penelope's name, and Selene closed her eyes as she once again saw Penelope's lifeless, brown eyes.

Suddenly, she felt a hot wave of anger overcoming her. She let out a scream as she picked up the parchment and ripped it again and again until it was nothing but a pile of shreds on Tom's desk. Tears streamed down her cheeks as she walked to the wall that separated his study, from the room in which she had been held hostage.

She rested her cheek against the wall. Somehow, she knew he was still standing next to the same wall in the other room.

Eventually, the burning anger dissipated and was replaced only by more overwhelming, soul-twisting grief.

'Of all people in the world, why were you the one that I had to want?'

She stood there for what felt like an age. Eventually, she took out her wand.

'Goodbye, Tom,' she whispered, her salty tears staining her lips. 'The next time we meet, one of us will end up in Hell.'

She looked down at her wand, but found she had no energy. Her legs gave way, and she sunk to the floor. An instant later, she felt Tom's strong arms lifting her. She clutched at him, struggling to breathe.

'Let me go, Tom,' she gasped. 'Please, please let me go. I want to be free of you.'

Slowly, she regained her breath.

'I don't know how to be free of you,' she whispered, still clutching at his arm. 'I'm afraid I'll be like one of those captive animals- I'll die once set free. I won't know how to survive.'

Again, Penelope's face flashed in Selene's mind, and she felt hot tears stinging her eyes once more.

'Selene…' Tom whispered.

'Then again,' Selene said drily. 'Perhaps failing to survive won't be so bad after all. Better to die free of you, than to live as your slave.'

She pushed Tom away from her, and his eyes widened.

'Selene,' he said suddenly. 'Wait—'

But he was too late, for she had disapparated.

And he didn't have high hoped of ever finding her again. And, if he did, he was certain that he wouldn't find her alive.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Tom went over to his desk and brought his fist down on it. He flinched as he felt the pain shooting up his arm.

'Dolohov,' he shouted.

Dolohov was at his door in an instant, trembling.

'Yes, my Lord?'

'Order a meeting, this instant. We have a lot to do.'

'And the mudblood…'

'Gone,' Tom snapped. 'And, if you continue to stand there questioning my authority, you will be too. Get a move on!'

* * *

**I found this chapter to be one of the most difficult things I've ever written, mainly because Selene was so mad. When I write, I tend to take on the feelings and emotions of my characters, so I had to be careful writing this because I actually felt myself losing grip a littles. I am also aware that this chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but what follows next really belongs in the next chapter. **

**Unfortunately, I can't say my updating skills have improved. I've been so busy with my novel, Stained Glass- and am very happy to report that the front cover (and my website) will both be revealed very very soon! I'm so pleased with both and I hope you will be too!**

**Other than that, I have a new job, as well as my 21****st**** birthday last week to blame for this extended break between updates. **

**Next chapter-**

'_I know! You won't die! We'll go to Circe, and she can go to Asteria. Penny, you'll be alive again!' – _Selene Asteria

**Please leave me a review if you can. **

**Lots of love,**

**Anya**


	49. Chapter 49: A Bond of Fate

_**Crazy are the people walking through my head**_

_**One of them got a gun to shoot the other one**_

_**And yet together they were friends at school…**_

_**Miracles will happen as we speak**_

_**But we're never gonna survive unless**_

_**We get a little crazy**_

_**- **_**'Crazy'**_**- **_**Seal**

* * *

.

**A Bond of Fate**

.

It was a balmy summer's day. Alphard sighed to himself as he entered his cool, empty house. He walked languidly into the living room and tossed his tennis racquet in the corner before stretching out on the couch.

He had just returned from playing tennis with Sean, Keith and Ryan. It had been a very enjoyable day and he was glad that his group had finally had a reunion.

Until they all revealed news of their marriages, children, or significant other (in Sean's case), that is.

And the afternoon was soured even further when Keith, who hadn't been filled in by Sean prior to the meeting, had asked Alphard about Selene.

It had been a year since that fateful day when they had parted. At first, it had been very difficult. He was confused and angry. He withdrew into a state of reclusiveness, drinking heavily and venturing from the estate only to purchase more liquor.

He had developed a complete sense of apathy towards everything in life.

But then Sean had come over and really helped him back on his feet. He smiled, feeling a sense of bittersweet emotion as he remembered the day-

'_Alphard? Good God, I knew you'd be upset… but this?'_

_Alphard groaned, before reaching for the bucket next to the couch and retching into it._

'_What are you doing here?' Alphard groaned. 'Leave me be.'_

_Sean shook his head sadly._

'_Oh no, Alphie. No, I can't just leave you be. I'm going get you sorted. First, we're going to get you a maid to help you manage because it's quite obvious you're hopeless when left to your own devices…'_

_Alphard rubbed his eyes._

'_No maid. No women in the house.'_

_Sean rolled his eyes._

'_Very well. A butler then- or even a house elf if you wish.'_

_Alphard shivered._

'_No,' he whispered gravelly. 'Can't stand those creatures. There's something frighteningly wrong about them.'_

_Sean bit his lip._

'_Alphard, I was willing to overlook a little slip in sociability, but you've turned into a right scrooge, living here all alone. The house is in an abominable state and you- well, you're downright horrible. If you weren't my oldest friend, I'd be tempted to give you a good thrashing. Now get up. Come on! It's about time you had a bath. When was the last time you washed? You reek!'_

_Alphard staggered away from Sean._

'_You're not washing me. No way are you…'_

_Sean rolled his eyes. _

'_No, Alphard. You're not a child. You can bathe yourself. I'm merely going to be the person to give you that much-needed kick up the arse to get your life back to some sort of state of normalcy._

_._

Now, Alphard was finally starting to get back on his feet. He now employed a part-time butler and had joined the local tennis club, where he spent most of his days playing tennis and socialising with old family acquaintances.

He had seen a few different women over the year, but hadn't managed to allow the relationships to last very long. In fact, he was rather enjoying his flirtation with bachelorhood. After being stung so badly by his past two relationships, he wasn't sure that he could survive another disappointment.

He summoned a butterbeer and grimaced as its sweetness caused his cheeks to tense.

Selene.

He often wondered what had happened to her. Neither Malkin nor Dumbledore had heard anything from her. Perhaps she had left the country? No one knew.

He glanced at the couch and cringed as he remembered seeing her on it- her irresistible beauty, her smile…

Automatically, he stood up and went to the library and picked up a stack of letters, all addressed to her.

He hesitated, but then put them down again.

No matter how much he enjoyed bachelorhood, the house was mostly empty. The more time he had to think about her secret, the more he realised that it really wasn't so big a deal. He had been betrayed by the fact that she had _kept_ such a secret from him, not so much by the secret itself- although the prospect of being united with the daughter of Circe herself was certainly a daunting one.

'Ah, S…'

He cut himself short. A year on, he still couldn't say her name.

Draining his butterbeer, he walked out of the library and went to his liquor cabinet.

Alcohol was the only habit he hadn't been able to rid himself of. After all, he needed something a little stronger if he was going to get any sleep at night…

* * *

Selene lay in bed, blinking dazedly at the ceiling.

She had lost track of time. It meant nothing to her. Nothing meant anything to her anymore.

'What a pretty fly- oh is that a light? Penelope, I think you should go… Horse!'

She giggled to herself, but then became serious again as she saw a flicker of light on the ceiling.

She twirled her wand absent-mindedly between her fingers. Every now and then, she would point it at a spot in the wall, sending out a curse and blasting plaster everywhere.

There was a knock at the door, and Selene sat up suddenly, her eyes wide and hair a bird nest halo.

'A knocking? Who is that? Who's knocking at the door?'

She curled up in a ball and closed her eyes.

'Penelope, you shouldn't answer the door to strangers. Do as I say. We don't answer the door to strangers.'

There was more knocking. This time, it was more insistent.

_Where are you? _

She screamed and clapped her hands over her ears.

'Don't listen to him, Penny,' she whispered. 'He's the Devil! The Devil, he is! He'll take you away from me again. I won't let him. Just stay put next to me. There's a good girl…'

The knocking continued.

Selene narrowed her eyes in concentration and aimed her wand at the door, her face very serious. Suddenly, she blasted it and there was a sharp shriek of pain.

'There, Penny. We got him!'

The door suddenly burst open, and a small man with a very large moustache appeared. His face was a nasty shade of aubergine.

'That's it! Get out! Out of my hotel! I can't have you blasting the walls anymore. You're scaring all my customers away!'

..

Selene looked confused as she stood by her trunk on the empty beach.

'The water's so pretty, isn't it Penny? Pretty Penny. Penny Pretty.'

She smiled dazedly and skipped over to the water, squealing as the cool water licked at her toes.

'Careful! Don't go too far. I don't swim too well, and neither do you. They never taught us properly at the orphanage, did they?'

She frowned.

'You want swimming lessons? We'll see. It's only… I just don't trust the water! We can't properly mutter incantations underwater.'

She shrugged.

'That's true. I could always use wandless magic. But you can't. Not yet. I'll teach you one day. I'll teach you everything I know…'

She sighed, her brows furrowing.

'No, I can't teach you that. Men are no good anyway. You don't want to involve yourself with them. My life was good before I decided to entangle myself in their petty issues. Unfortunately, your hormones will probably make you forget what I've just told you when it comes to applying my advice.'

She then smiled.

'Yes. That's right. You're only little. You just play in the water for now. You don't need to worry about these things. I'll protect you from it all when the time comes.'

She looked down at the wet sand and drew patterns with her toe. She smiled as she drew a P and an A, surrounded by a love heart.

Suddenly, a wave came and washed her inscription away. She cried at the shock of the icy water, nipping at her ankles like little pins, and dropped her wand. Hurriedly, she bent down to pick it up before the tide could pull it back into the sea.

'No, Penny, we can't touch it… only I can. And Circe.'

She paused. The name was familiar, yet foreign.

'Circe,' she mused. 'Circe… Circe…'

Selene frowned.

'Who is Circe? I remember her, but I don't. Do you know Penny? I…'

She winced, the effort of trying to remember brought upon a deep, winding pain in her chest.

'Maybe I don't want to remember,' she whispered, tears pricking at her eyes. 'I… it hurts.'

She then looked around her.

'Penny? Penny? Where have you gone?'

She gasped and waded into the sea, ignoring the shocks the icy water sent through her system.

'Penelope! Don't go. I told you, I can't swim. Why are you swimming away from me? Please, Penny. Don't be cheeky. Come on…'

She suddenly came to a halt as the water became too deep for her, and took a step back.

'Please,' she called desperately. 'Come back to me. Penny, please…'

Her eyes widened in shock.

'You want me to visit Circe?'

_Selene, where are you_?

She gasped and sunk under the water- anything to drown out that voice that made her feel as though her blood was curdling. But then she thought of Penelope drifting off to sea, and rose to the surface, gasping for air.

'Please Penelope…. No, I don't know Circe. I don't know how to visit her. How do I…'

A wave dunked her down and she flailed in the water, thrashing about to reach the surface.

But then she stopped and marvelled at how beautiful the sun was, its rays the only source of warmth as they fractioned through the disturbed surface of the water like golden spears.

She reached out a hand to the rays and smiled as she watched them reflecting off her alabaster skin. Then her eyes widened as she saw Penelope's lifeless body, so far away, sinking down to the depths of the sea.

She felt desperation clutching at her as she tried in vain to reach her.

Then, Penelope's eyes opened and she almost gasped as she saw they were white- the marbled white of an ancient statue. She opened her ivory mouth and spoke, her voice warbled in the water.

'You must see Circe. She can bring me back.'

And even though Selene still couldn't remember who Circe was, she knew this was true.

'How do I visit her, Penny?' she thought, pleading with the lifeless apparition ahead of her. 'I can't remember.'

The corpse nodded solemnly.

'You do,' she spoke. 'You remember, Selene. You have your wand. Remember your wand. It will take you to her. You know this. You know this.'

Selene's eyes widened in fright as she saw the body moving further into the deep.

'I can't stay here, Selene,' it spoke. 'I'm fading, even in your imagination. I'm not real.'

'But…'

'No, Selene. I'm not. But you can bring me back. You know how to bring me back… but you have to _try_…'

Suddenly, Penny's apparition began to fade before Selene's eyes and, suddenly, she could no longer hold her breath. She shot through the surface of the water, gasping.

'Penny?' she called desperately. 'Where are you? Penny… what's happened to me? I can't remember…. Where am I? Penny? Penny?'

Selene gasped as the memory of Penelope's dead body, that fateful day at the orphanage, flashed in her mind.

'Don't die, Penny,' she whispered, tears streaking down her cheek. 'You can't die…'

She trailed off and her eyes lit up as her vision's words suddenly made sense.

'I know! You won't die! We'll go to Circe, and she can go to Asteria. Penny, you'll be alive again!'

Gripping her wand tightly, Selene closed her eyes and said the words that were an innate part of her, in Ancient Greek—

_Take me home._

* * *

Selene opened her eyes and blinked, confused. She felt as though she had awoken from a very long, and deep sleep. After the confusion and comfort of her madness, she suddenly had clarity of mind and the sharpness of her world and thoughts made her wince.

She wandered wide-eyed through the high marble archway of Circe's palace, marvelling at the beauty of her surroundings- the intense green of the vines, the deep purple of the translucent deadly nightshade berries…

And then, as she closed her eyes, there was the sharp staccato of her heel on the polished marble ground. It echoed around her- clink, clink, clink…

But, as Selene neared Circe, seated at her throne, she frowned-

She had no recollection of anything since her arrival to Greece. All she could remember was leaving England the day Tom had set her free, and asking the owner of a hotel to allow her to rent a room permanently.

'It is ironic that you should find lucidity in my temple of madness.'

'What's happened to me?' Selene wondered.

'You lost your mind,' Circe replied simply, reaching for her brilliantly bejewelled mirror and observing her reflection in it, before grimacing and placing it, mirror-side down, down next to her. 'Nectar?'

Selene nodded and took the golden goblet Circe passed to her. As soon as the juice touched her lips, all her memories suddenly came rushing back to her. Selene gasped.

'I was mad! What happened to me? Why did I become like that?'

'You were grieving, and had no one to help you. It was easier for you to lose your mind than to deal with your pain,' replied Circe. 'A trait which I am afraid I passed onto all my daughters.'

Circe paused, pain etched on her fine features.

'I am so sorry, my daughter. So, so sorry.'

Selene sipped more of the nectar.

'What happens to my life now?' she wondered. 'Will I still be mad when I leave here?'

Circe said nothing. Selene chewed her lip as she wondered how to phrase her question best-

'M…mother?'

Circe didn't even raise her eyes to Selene. She continued to gaze into her crystal ball.

'I know what you will ask,' she murmured. 'And it is impossible.'

'But you brought back…'

'No,' she said, so seriously that Selene couldn't help shivering. 'Even if Asteria _would_ do it, _I _would never ask her. Not after seeing how I have cursed my daughter- my beautiful and wretched daughter- to live the same cursed tragedy over and over.'

Circe raised her eyes to Selene. They were hard and filled with self-loathing.

'I will not curse another child to such a fate. One such daughter is enough for this world.'

Selene felt tears stinging her eyes as the bitterness of Circe's refusal washed over her.

'And she was not even your daughter,' Circe muttered. 'You barely knew her.'

Selene shook her head, hurt tears spilling down her cheeks.

'I did,' she whispered thorugh her tears. 'She was me. I knew her better than you ever cared to know any of us- your 'so-called daughters'.'

Circe closed her eyes and bowed her head, her brows furrowed in pain.

'I could not know you, my child. I can barely look at you without realising my shame.'

Selene clenched her fists, the injustice of her existence and blame for Circe building up inside of her.

Circe then opened her eyes and gazed into her crystal ball. She then let out a cry and looked away.

'What? What is it?' Selene pressed. 'Did you see my future?'

Circe nodded gravely, her hazel eyes wide.

'Is it bad?'

Circe shook her head vigorously.

'Knowing your future will curse you to fulfil it, my child. It is better you do not know.'

Selene rolled her eyes.

'Bit late to start caring about my future, don't you think?'

Circe said nothing in response to this and, eventually, Selene sighed-

'I don't care. I've nothing to live for. I'll probably go mad as soon as I return to reality anyway, so what difference does it make?'

Circe shook her head slowly. Selene, feeling her impatience increasing, reached out and grabbed Circe's bony arm.

'Tell me,' she hissed, her eyes flashing. 'After everything you've done, you at least owe me this.'

Circe turned away, wincing.

'This is what you want?' she whispered painfully. 'You wish to know your future, no matter the consequences?'

Selene nodded.

'Yes.'

Circe drew an unsteady breath.

'Very well then.'

She reached for the basket of herbs next to her throne, and crumbled them between her fingers, before snapping her fingers. The herbs burst into flames, their smoke drifted in a thin line to Circe's nostrils. She closed her eyes as she inhaled the sweet fumes.

'Death is nigh,' she said, her eyelids fluttering feverishly. 'At the hands of the one you love. He will kill you, and that will kill him.'

Selene blinked, confused.

'Alphard?' she wondered.

But then she realised that Circe wasn't referring to Alphard.

'Oh, I see,' she said quietly. 'It's Tom.'

'You will name the next daughter _Eleni_.'

'Helen?' Selene repeated. 'Okay…'

'You will not be sad to leave.'

'No, I know that. I'm ready.'

'But you will still die hoping.'

Selene felt a painful twinge in her chest.

'Can't you make him realise that he has the potential to be good?'

'I cannot make anyone do anything,' Circe droned, still in her trance-like state.

Selene's shoulders fell and she felt disappointment washing over her.

'What about the next daughter? Can't you promise that she will have a happy life?'

'I cannot,' Circe replied automatically. 'For she will live in troubled times. There is a storm brewing now, that will erupt into a war during her lifetime.'

Circe paused. Suddenly, she gasped, drawing in hoarse stridors.

'But she will find love, this next daughter.'

Selene shook her head.

'No. She shouldn't. I don't want her to. Love only brings unhappiness.'

'Your love, my child, was destructive. You never truly loved he who would have loved you well. Instead, you gave your heart to he who could not love you.'

Selene looked down, tears stinging at her eyes.

'The next daughter's love will be of a different kind. It will bring her unhappiness- oh, great unhappiness- but will also give her happiness as you have never known.'

Selene shifted uncomfortably.

'I don't know that makes me feel any better about her life,' she said grimly.

Circe smiled.

'Her story will be a different sort of tragedy to yours. You will be similar in some respects, but very different in others.'

Selene considered Circe's cryptic statement.

'You're not very specific, are you?' she snapped, crossing her arms.

'I am as specific as I need to be,' Circe replied simply.

Selene threw up her arms and drained the nectar from her goblet.

'So how long do I have, then?' she questioned. 'How long before the big 'D-day'?'

'You are efficient. You won't waste time.'

Suddenly, everything seemed so clear to Selene. She knew what she had to do and it gave her an almost manic kind of joy, knowing that her suffering was to end soon.

She stood up, and kissed the red ruby on Circe's finger.

'Thank you, mother,' she murmured. 'Thank you.'

* * *

Selene's mind was sharper than ever. She had a list of things to do, and was going to complete them all as soon as she possibly could. She thought it was ironic- and rather pathetic- that the only purpose she had left in life was to prepare for death.

She began by getting a key for her vault at Gringott's and putting it in the joint name of 'Helen Asteria'.

After that, she arranged a meeting with Dumbledore. She was surprised to receive an immediate response from him.

'Selene,' he smiled, welcoming her into his office. 'Long time no see. Where have you been? I daresay, everyone's been terribly worried.'

'Define 'everyone',' Selene replied drily.

'Why, Malkin, and Florean and…'

'Malkin and Florean count as one,' Selene interrupted. 'I'm sorry, I don't have much time. What I wanted, was for you to help me prepare my will.'

Dumbledore stood up abruptly, all traces of politeness suddenly gone.

'Selene, why would you need to prepare a will?' he said sharply. 'Are you in danger?'

Selene shook her head.

'No,' she said lightly. 'During my holiday, I did a lot of thinking. If I were to die, it wouldn't be as simple as a lost inheritance. I'd be leaving a child in my place… and I don't want her to have any semblance of the life I've lived.'

Dumbledore watched her carefully.

'So you are certain you are not in any immediate danger?' he repeated.

Selene smiled serenely.

'No. Of course not.'

Dumbledore held her eyes for a moment longer. Selene felt her composure beginning to slip- it was so difficult to lie to those piercing blue eyes.

She looked away and cleared her throat smartly.

'She is to be given to a family. A family with children, so she will grow up with true siblings without any confused feelings developing. She is on no accounts to be given to an orphanage.'

Selene paused, but Dumbledore said nothing in response, so she continued-

'My vault at Gringotts has been arranged. I have a letter here, as well as a spare key to my vault should something happen to me.

Selene swallowed thickly.

'I want you to give that letter to her when she comes of age. And… and…'

She exhaled quickly.

'Her name is to be Helen.'

She took a deep breath and adjusted her smile before looking up at Dumbledore who was watching her with a curious expression she couldn't make out. It seemed a mixture of sadness, pity and concern.

'Selene,' he said, 'I am sorry if your time at the orphanage was not a happy one. I honestly felt it was the best place for you.'

He paused, pressing the tips of his fingers together.

'I understand we have had our disagreements in the past, but I want you to know that I truly think you to be a remarkable young woman. You are a person foremost, and a formidable witch second. There are very few of our kind who possess your kind of talent who can be grounded in such a way.'

Selene blinked away her tears.

'I… thank you, professor. I want you to know I'm grateful for all you've done. I know I haven't been the… _easiest_ person, at times.'

'And I too accept that I betrayed your trust. I hope you can appreciate it was done with your best interests at heart.'

Selene smiled.

'Of course. I understand. I… I apologise, but I couldn't do it.'

Dumbledore smiled kindly.

'I appreciate your situation. I understand, Selene.'

Selene swallowed quickly, and gathered her bag.

'Well, that was all. I don't want to waste your ti…'

'You would let me know if you were in any trouble, Selene, wouldn't you?' Dumbledore interrupted, walking her to the door.

Selene looked up at him and constructed a smile quickly.

'Yes, of course sir.'

He held her gaze for a moment longer, and she nodded.

'Thank you for your time, sir. I appreciate it.'

* * *

Selene walked along the shore. She wasn't sure why she had returned to the cave. She supposed it was because it was the earliest memory of Tom she still retained. Now that she was to end her life at his hands, she figured it was fitting that she should revisit their earliest encounter.

They had been taken to the beach for an excursion. Everyone had been very excited because leaving the confines of the orphanage was a luxury they were rarely afforded.

Before they got on the bus, they were made to choose their seating partners. She and her friend Melanie had agreed to be partners when Tom came up to her. She watched him, confused. He was such a strange boy- short, with black hair and pallid skin.

Up until that point, no one had heard him speak. He merely sat in the corner of the room, staring at everyone. Occasionally, something odd would happen- toys would disappear, hair would catch fire…

Everyone avoided him like the plague.

.

'Selene?'

Melanie gasped in shock next to Selene. Selene raised her eyebrows.

'I've never heard you speak before. Aren't you meant to be mute?'

He blushed furiously, his eyes widening as Melanie and the other girls burst into laughter at Selene's remark.

She grinned.

'So… Tom's your name, isn't it?'

He wrung his hands in front of him, his blush under his translucent skin like a rash.

'What's wrong?' Melanie laughed. 'Cat got your tongue?'

He clenched his fists and, suddenly, Melanie screamed.

'What happened? Melanie?'

It turned out that a bee had stung Melanie, rendering her speechless for the rest of the excursion. Because of her injury, she was left behind at the orphanage, and Selene had been left partnerless.

When it came to boarding the bus, she and Tom were the only ones to sit alone in their rows.

Throughout the trip, Selene shot furtive glances at Tom. Eventually, she could stand it no longer. She leant over the aisle.

'Pst!'

He ignored her at first.

'Pst!'

He turned lazily, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

'Did you do that to Melanie?'

He bit his lip, his gaze scrutinising.

'How would that be possible?' he retorted slowly. 'I can't force a bee to sting someone's tongue.'

Selene glanced down.

'But what… what if you could?'

He frowned.

'Could you do something like that?'

Selene looked at the curtain next to Tom, and flicked her hand at it. In an instant, the curtain was on fire.

Tom gasped, and quickly swiped his hand at it, extinguishing it in the one movement.

He then turned to her, his dark eyes wide with wonder and excitement.

'You… you can too?'

Selene giggled and nodded.

'Yes. I always thought you were strange,' she whispered. 'But I don't think it was nice what you did to Melanie. She was hurt.'

Tom frowned indignantly.

'Well she was mean to me.'

Selene bit her lip, and they sat in silence for the remainder of the trip.

When they arrived at the beach, Tom- suddenly talkative- had convinced two of the children to come with him to a cave.

'Come,' he whispered to Selene, grinning. 'I'll show you what I _really_ do.'

Curious, Selene followed him until they arrived at a large, dank cave.

'Where's the candy, then?' George piped. 'You promised there was a cage filled with candy!'

Tom grinned at Selene who watched on, confused, as he reached forward and touched George's forehead. Suddenly, George was on the floor, writhing in pain.

Jean, the other girl Tom had convinced, screamed and bolted from the cave.

'Stop it!' Selene shouted.

Tom smiled broadly.

'But don't you see what I can do? Can you do it?'

Frightened for George, who continued to groan on the floor, Selene knelt by him.

'Take it off him,' she demanded angrily.

'Why,' Tom snapped. 'He teases me all the time. He _deserves it_.'

Desperate, Selene turned to George and touched his forehead, concentrating as hard as she could. She wasn't sure what she was waiting for, but it worked. Suddenly, George was no longer in pain. He lay on the floor, gasping.

Furious, Selene stepped up to Tom and hit his arm.

'You're a nasty boy, Tom Riddle,' she said. 'I don't want to play with you, ever. You stay away.'

Tom reached forward to touch her, but Selene slapped his hand away.

'No!' she shouted. 'You won't do that to me. Get away! Get away, or I'll tell on you!'

He sneered at her, his features stony.

'I thought you were different, but you're just like the rest of them. I'll show you. One day, I'll show you all.'

And with that, he stalked out of the cave, leaving Selene with George who continued to recovery on the ground.

.

Selene sighed as she looked down at the very same spot George had lain, so long ago.

'Oh Tom,' she whispered. 'I'm sorry.'

She sighed and leant against the wall of the cave, closing her eyes tiredly.

'I'm so, so sorry.'

* * *

**Speaking of sorry- I AM! I am so ashamed about how long I've made you wait for this chapter. Really, I am. I've just been so busy with Stained Glass and life in general... but it's no excuse. I'm sorry :)**

**On a positive note, Stained Glass is printed and now ready for pre-order! You can do so on my official website. The links are on my author's page. It's a short first-run, so pre-ordering is a safe way to secure a copy no matter where you are in the world! It also means you'll get a copy as soon as the shipment arrives (late June).**

**Next chapter-**

_He paled as he saw her, standing before him. She looked nothing like the mad wreck she had been when he set her free, over a year ago._

**Please leave a review. I promise with all my heart you'll NEVER have to wait so long ever again for another chapter!**

**Love, Anya**


	50. Chapter 50: Swiftest Wing of Recompense

_**Sally, take my hand**_

_**We'll travel south cross land**_

_**Put out the fire**_

_**And don't look past my shoulder.**_

_**The exodus is here**_

_**The happy ones are near**_

_**Let's get together**_

_**Before we get much older.**_

**- Baba O'Riley- The Who**

* * *

**The Swiftest Wing of Recompense**

.

He mouth was dry as parchment and he could feel the grease on his skin. He felt so parched and drained of energy that he could barely muster the energy to get himself out of bed.

His stomach grumbled ravenously, protesting against his self-inflicted hunger strike. Yet he knew that if he were to attempt eating, he certainly wouldn't be able to stomach it.

As he lay there, shivering in a foetal position on his mattress, he experienced the debilitating and crushing turmoil of being overwhelmed by life.

His followers had dispersed. They were to infiltrate the ministry. At first, they reported to him regularly. But then he had thought it wise that they keep their distance in order to raise as little suspicion as possible.

Along with this distance, however, came a sense of abandonment. No one contacted him- they were waiting for him to contact them first.

But then doubt began to plague his every thought. Were they really true to him? What if they had forgotten him as they acquired regular jobs, married and started to set up families. What if he had become irrelevant to them?

And that was why he dared not contact any of his followers. It was not so much a fear of raising suspicion, but the crushing fear that no one would respond.

For someone who had always been relevant and important, he wasn't sure his ego could sustain such a blow.

It was this very irrelevance that had made him lose confidence in himself over the past months. His attempts at progressing in Dark Arts were feeble at best and most of his experiments had failed.

He had lost all his previous discipline and willpower. After being on such a high- having such a large group of wizards and witches following his every beck and call- their disappearance had sent him crashing into a very deep and dark depression. It was as though, just as he was on the edge of glory, it had all been snatched away from him.

Using what little energy he had, Tom rolled out of bed. He noticed his sheets were stale and had acquired a sweet and sour mustiness to them, but didn't care enough to do anything about it.

As he walked to the kitchen of his flat, he looked around the place numbly. It was a mess, and yet he saw no point to cleaning it. After all, no one was to visit him and he himself didn't really mind the mess.

He went to the sink and rinsed out his mouth. He grimaced as he felt the furry plaque on his teeth and decided it was time to finally brush his teeth. As he looked at his reflection in the dusty mirror, he couldn't help feeling a little sickened.

He spat out the toothpaste and rinsed his mouth. The sharpness of the peppermint brought an added burst of clarity to his thoughts.

'What have you become?' he wondered. 'From almost having everything… what have you become now? Living in squalor like this, festering in my own madness. Why it's…'

And then he felt a wave of nausea overcoming him as he realised exactly what it was like-

Morfin and Marvolo Gaunt; his Grandfather and Uncle.

He recalled a saying from his childhood- '_The apple doesn't fall far from the tree'_.

It incensed him how true this was of his situation. That he was destined to do nothing more than confirm an old adage.

His previous self would have had a sudden about face. He probably would have scrubbed himself clean, cut his long hair, tidied his flat in an instant and created a new curse all in the space of an hour.

But he was not that Tom anymore. As his lack of confidence weighed on him, he felt nothing but despair that he was, indeed, destined for nothing more than a slow and lonely death in his own squalor.

Suddenly, he felt a central epigastric stabbing pain and groaned as he held on the sink for support.

'It's happening… already…'

But then his stomach gave a gurgle, and then the pain was replaced with the previous gnawing hunger. He laughed in spite of himself.

'I'm just hungry,' he said, shaking his head and walking over to the kitchen.

But then, as he surveyed his empty cupboards and fridge, he decided the hunger pains weren't so bad and he could cope with them for a little longer. It wasn't worth the effort of leaving the flat for new supplies.

He stood there, very still, in the middle of his kitchen, staring into the distance. Suddenly, he blinked and looked around, realising he had absolutely nothing to do. His breath caught as he sunk to the floor, despair gripping him.

His breathing came in short sharp bursts, and he felt the pain rising to his chest as his heart beat erratically. Just as his vision became to blur, however, he heard something—

_Tom?_

He suddenly became very still and rubbed his eyes. He sat, ears pricked, as he waited for it again. He knew that if he didn't hear her voice- if it had indeed just been a figment of his desperate imagination- it would be too much for him to bear.

_Tom. I know you can hear me. I need to see you. It's urgent._

Unsteadily, he stood up. It required all his energy to muster up the energy to use their connection.

_Selene? Are you alive?_

_Yes. Where are you? At that house?_

He laughed to himself miserably

_No. Somewhere else._

_Where and when can I meet you? I need to see you as soon as possible._

He paused as he looked around his surroundings. He would have to do some quick cleaning- of both himself, and the flat. He told her the address.

_I'll be there in five minutes._

Tom nodded slowly, and then his eyes widened as he realised that he only had five minutes to not only, pull himself together , but to give the impression that he more in control of life than ever.

Without wasting another moment, he sprinted to the bathroom.

* * *

True to her word, the doorbell rang in exactly five minutes. Tom cursed under his breath as he noticed the flat was still disgustingly messy.

His hear pounding in his chest, and cheeks flushed, he walked timidly to the door. He then opened it quickly, but shut it behind him very quickly.

'Hello Tom.'

Tom stared at Selene. It had been so long since he had last seen her, or even thought of her. Ever since that day when he had set her free, he had done his best to forget her. He resisted all temptation to find her and, in any case, heard no news of her.

And yet, here she was.

She looked different. He thought that she looked younger- her skin was brighter, her hair flowed down her back in dark, neat ripples, and she wore a summer dress of white silk.

If he didn't know her any better, he would have thought that she looked like an angel. She had an oddly ethereal glow to her- as though she was of another world.

'What are you doing here?' he stammered.

'We have unfinished business,' she replied simply.

He locked the door behind him and began walking down the street. She followed him.

'What do you want with me?' he snapped, picking up his pace as he felt his stomach growling all the more insistently.

'What happened to all your minions? Have they deserted you?'

'No,' Tom replied shortly.

But he faltered, and Selene smiled a little as she saw the truth etched on his face.

'I can't say I'm sorry,' she said lightly. 'They brought nothing but terror to this world.'

'Well 'm not about to tell you our plans, am I? For all I know, you're spying for Dumbledore again.'

Selene wrinkled her nose.

'No. I'm not.'

Tom snorted.

'And I'm going to believe you?'

'Why not? I've probably been more honest with you than anyone else has ever been. Your followers included'

Tom came to an abrupt halt and glared at her.

'Was there a reason for your visit?' he demanded.

Selene lowered her gaze.

'I wanted us to talk,' she said quietly.

Tom raised an eyebrow.

'Why would I want to speak with you?' he said snidely. 'In public, no less? Get away from me. You'll ruin my reputation.'

'Would you rather we speak in your flat?' Selene offered.

Tom's jaw clenched.

'No,' he said shortly. 'You'll probably try ruining my inventions.'

'You're inventing things?' Selene said, sounding surprised. 'They must be horrible.'

'They are,' Tom snapped. 'Now go away.'

But she continued to follow him.

'Fine. What is it? Say what you want to say and be gone. Though I can't understand why you didn't just use that ridiculous 'mind connection' we share to tell me instead.'

He crossed his arms, waiting.

'I don't really have anything specific to say,' Selene shrugged.

Tom looked around him suddenly.

'Is this a set up?' he whispered, his eyes flashing. His heart pounded as he realised that he was, for the first time in a long time, truly powerless to properly defend himself.

Selene shook her head.

'No, Tom. I still wouldn't do that to you,' she sighed sadly.

'Then _what do you want_?' he said, becoming frustrated.

She chewed her lip and looked up at him. He felt a jolt as he noticed just how strange the expression in her hazel eyes was- a mixture of fear, uncertainty, sadness…

But, above all, loneliness. It shone right through her eyes and, after feeling lonely for so long, Tom couldn't help feeling something for her.

'Tom, I… I forgive you. For what you're going to do.'

He rolled his eyes. Perhaps it wasn't loneliness, but madness.

'What am I 'going to do'?' he scoffed.

'You're going to kill me,' Selene said plainly.

It was then that Tom noticed what about Selene had changed the most- there was a certain apathy to her. And that was what made her seem so ethereal and angelic; it was as though she already belonged to another world.

He laughed in her face.

'I don't have time for this,' he said coldly, pushing past her. 'Don't bother me again.'

As he walked away as quickly as he could, he noticed she didn't follow him. And yet, when he reached his apartment and found that he indeed was not part of some set up, he became very confused.

He shook his head as he slumped back on his bed-

'Madness. She was mad before she's left, and she's totally lost it by now,' he muttered to himself. 'Pay no attention to her.'

* * *

That evening, Selene wandered to the local park. It was empty. Numb, she sat down at the park bench and stared out at the lake. It was so beautiful- the black water, with the reflection of the moon.

She glanced up at the moon and noticed it was close to a full moon.

'Tomorrow,' she murmured. 'Tomorrow it will be full.

She closed her eyes. She would not sleep on her final night on this earth. But she would reflect.

She smiled bitterly as she thought back to her days at Hogwarts. They were the happiest and most terrifying days of her life. But they were the best. She couldn't help feeling that, upon leaving Hogwarts, she became lost.

But it wasn't just her. Alphard also lost his way, with no clear direction in life. Tom, upon being set loose, finally spiralled out of control and had now seemingly crashed.

She shook her head.

'What good did any of it do…'

Again, she shook her head.

'Absolutely nothing. Abso-bloody-lutely nothing.'

* * *

Tom tossed and turned in his bed, in the grips of a fitful sleep. He saw her- looking like the same ethereal angel she had been that morning, as she walked moved towards the lake.

He held his breath as he watched her wade into the water, until she was completely submerged. He waited for her to resurface, and yet she did not.

Desperate, he used their mind connection

_Selene?_

But there was no answer.

He ran to the lake, but it was as though there was an invisible barrier, blocking him from entering the water.

'Selene!' he called again, desperate.

And then he heard it. It was the sweetest song in the world. The kind that could soothe the most damaged soul, heal the most ravaged body, all the while invoking the sweetest melancholy and nostalgia.

His eyes widened as he saw Selene rising to the surface. But, more than ever, she looked not of the earth. Her alabaster skin glowed like the brightest moonlight. Her dark hair was peppered with gleaming crystals, and the water from the lake stood on her long eyelashes like diamonds.

As she rose, further up to the sky, he noticed the moon. It was full, and blood red.

The moon of an eclipse.

And then he listened to the words of the song-

.

_Red moon, blood red moon_

_Beat the cymbals loud_

_The Thessalian witches weave their magic_

_Drawing Selene down through Heaven's cloud_

_._

_Red moon, blood red moon_

_Their magic is evil tonight_

_They wish to extract pure Selene's blood_

_So beat those cymbals with all your might_

_._

_Red moon, sweet red moon_

_We'll negate their evil power_

_We'll beat those cymbals loud and clear_

_To restore our goddess to her moon-tower_

_._

And then, suddenly, Selene opened her eyes. She looked at him with that same sadness he had seen earlier in the day. Slowly, her lips moved-

'Set me free, Tom. Only you can set me free'

* * *

Shouting, Tom sat up suddenly. He was drenched in sweat and his heart pounded erratically as nausea overcame him. Desperate, he lunged for the kitchen bin and began dry retching.

He could never recall having such a vivid dream. The song, Selene… it seemed so real that he found it impossible to accept it was all a figment of his nocturnal imagination.

'Don't overthink it,' he muttered to himself. It's just a dream. Just a dream…'

Gingerly, he returned to his bed. As he lay back down, however, something caught his eye through the slit in his curtains-

It was the full moon. And it was blood red.

Cursing, Tom snatched up his wand. In an instant, he was gone.

.

As he arrived at the clearing, he gasped as he saw Selene standing at the edge of the lake. Somehow, without even turning, she knew he was there-

'I knew you'd come.'

'How… how….'

'It seems I can control your thoughts while you sleep. The unconscious mind is weak and vulnerable- an easy fortress to penetrate.'

Enraged, Tom stalked up to her and grabbed her arm. She looked up at him, her eyes wide.

'Why would you do that?' he spat. 'Why are you screwing with my mind? Playing these games with me? Why won't you tell me what you want?'

Selene smiled a little as she looked up at him, and touched his skin. He closed his eyes at the touch of her soft fingers on his marred face.

'Tom,' she whispered. 'I told you. I need you to set me free. You must do it before sunset.'

'And what about that song?' Tom snapped. 'What was that about? I don't like this cryptic rubbish. Why don't you speak plainly?'

Again, Selene smiled in her usual non-telling manner.

'Selene's blood was very valuable to the witches of Thessaly…' she shrugged. 'But according to you, my blood is worthless.'

'It is. Look, I don't appreciate this madness. You've obviously lost your mind. I don't care. Leave me out of it…'

'Tell me, Tom,' Selene interrupted. 'Where are your followers? Those ones who were so loyal to you? Have they left you?'

Tom looked away. He couldn't bring himself to lie about it.

Selene nodded and cast down her eyes.

'It's interesting, isn't it? How important followers are. You can't really ever achieve anything alone, can you? No matter how hard you may work, you will always need them to rise to any kind of status. Why, without them you're just a genius wizard with too much knowledge of the Dark Arts.'

Tom turned his back to Selene.

'Maybe I don't want it anymore,' he murmured.

Selene shrugged.

'Losing faith in yourself after everyone else has? It's common. Or perhaps you lost faith first and they found it difficult to have faith in someone who had such little faith in himself?'

Tom turned to face her, confused.

'How…'

'Sometimes,' Selene said, walking over to the bench and sitting down, 'we are the ones afraid of achieving our own goals. We work tirelessly up until a point and then- just as glory is within our grasp- we let go, sabotaging our own chances at achieving what desire most.'

Tom walked up to her.

'Why are you saying this?' he demanded. 'Shouldn't you be glad I'm considering giving up on this quest of mine?'

Selene nodded.

'Of course I am. I've always known you would be a great wizard. What I didn't know was whether you would use this talent of yours for good or bad.'

'So why the lecture on letting go of my goals?' Tom said curiously, sitting next to her.

Selene shook her head and closed her eyes tiredly.

'It was just an observation, Tom. At this point in my life, I've become curiously reflective on such matters.'

She opened her eyes and smiled as she saw the sunrise beginning to seep through the night sky.

'I wasted too much of my life sleeping,' she murmured. 'I should have woken up every morning to see this. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.'

And it was. Swirling amber and honey tones adorned the sky in such an exquisite way, she wondered why she had never noticed the true beauty of the sunrise before.

'It's just the sunrise,' Tom said. 'It doesn't even look that special.'

Selene looked at him.

'If it were the last sunrise you'd ever see, would you still think that?'

Tom shook his head.

'I won't die… so your question is wasted on me.'

Selene rolled her eyes and looked back to the sunrise. They sat in silence for a while, until a loud, gurgling noise interrupted their silence.

Incredulous, Selene looked at Tom.

'Was that your stomach?'

He smiled in spite of himself and nodded a little sheepishly.

Selene laughed, and then found she couldn't stop.

'Calm down,' Tom stammered. 'It wasn't that funny.'

Selene nodded and sighed.

'I know, but it's fun to laugh… to really laugh. It's quite exhilarating, actually.'

Tom sighed.

'You never made much sense, but I fear that time has made you one of the most impossibly cryptic witches on this planet.'

Selene looked up at him, surprised.

'A witch?'

Tom shrugged.

'You are a witch, aren't you?'

She nodded.

'Yes… but I never thought I'd see the day where you'd admit it. I believe it's customary for you to refer to me – most affectionately- as a 'worthless mudblood'.

Tom smiled bitterly.

'Well… you are. But I won't deny you're very good at magic, for a mudblood. Quite frankly, you'd almost certainly put all of those followers of mine to shame in a duel.'

Suddenly, his stomach lurched again, and Selene giggled. Tom swore under his breath.

'Look, this is becoming ridiculous,' he said hotly, flushing in his embarrassment. 'Do you wish to eat breakfast?'

Selene laughed.

'Are you asking me out to breakfast?'

Tom rolled his eyes.

'Don't push me, Asteria. My body is telling me I need food, so I'm going to get it. I couldn't care less whether you joined me or not.'

Selene looked up at him and smiled.

'I can't expect you to turn into the perfect gentleman overnight… but yes, thank you. I do wish to eat breakfast.'

They stared at each other uncertainly. Finally, Tom rolled his eyes and turned on his heel-

'Well come on then,' he said gruffly, starting to walk. 'I don't have all morning!'

* * *

**A/N: It may seem as though Tom is rather OOC in this, but I assure you he'll be returning right back to character very soon. I think I subconsciously put a lot of what I myself have been feeling lately in this chapter. Also, I managed to write a poem/song for this! If you found it a little confusing, it's about the myth regarding the Lunar eclipse- look it up!**

**Next chapter-**

_She kissed his lips softly and pressed his wand into her abdomen._

'_Please, Tom. I've never asked for much, but I'm asking you for this.'_

**.**

**Now, onto important matters! Stained Glass is officially released tomorrow- 11****th**** July! **

**Pre-orders have already been sent out. You can now buy the novel and have it signed and sent to you from my website! Details are on my author's page  
**

**Bookstores around Melbourne will also be stocking the novel. I shall have a list for you once they have managed to stock copies. **

**I also have a Facebook page you can like, should you feel so inclined!**

**.**

**A big thank-you to everyone who pre-ordered and has already bought the book. Your loyalty and support means a lot.**

**Love, Anya**


	51. Chapter 51: Witchcraft by a Picture

_**I FIX mine eye on thine, and there  
Pity my picture burning in thine eye ;  
My picture drown'd in a transparent tear,  
When I look lower I espy ;  
Hadst thou the wicked skill  
By pictures made and marr'd, to kill,  
How many ways mightst thou perform thy will?**_

_**.**_

_**But now I've drunk thy sweet salt tears,  
And though thou pour more, I'll depart ;  
My picture vanished, vanish all fears  
That I can be endamaged by that art ;  
Though thou retain of me  
One picture more, yet that will be,  
Being in thine own heart, from all malice free.**_

_- 'Witchcraft by a Picture'- _**John Donne**

* * *

**Witchcraft by a Picture**

**.**

As soon as they entered the bustling café, Selene felt Tom stiffening beside her. He shook his head vigorously, his cheeks flushing.

'I can't. I can't…'

Without any further explanation, he stalked out of the café. The waitress looked to Selene expectantly.

'Can I help you?'

Selene cast an apprehensive glance at Tom who was waiting for her outside.

'Yes… two coffees, and two muffins please.'

When she joined Tom outside, she saw that his pale face was drawn. She handed him a coffee and his muffin.

'Here. Eat. You look ready to keel over.'

They sat at a nearby bench. Selene couldn't help laughing as she saw how desperately Tom scarfed down his muffin. Before Selene had even taken her own muffin out of the brown paper bag, he had finished his own.

She noticed how he eyed her own muffin hungrily and handed it to him.

'Here, you need this more than I do.'

And, for the first time, she felt a little sad that she was to leave. As she watched Tom, she couldn't help wondering if perhaps it wasn't too late for him. He had seemed so out of character now that his followers had lost contact… perhaps if she stayed and kept him from their influence, he could finally find his footing on a path to redemption.

Tom drained his coffee and, with a satisfied sigh, through the cup over his shoulder.

'You shouldn't litter,' Selene murmured.

Tom let out a bark of a laugh.

'Of all things I've done, you choose to chastise me about littering?'

Selene shrugged.

'If you're to be good, you have to start somewhere.'

'Who said I was going to be good?' Tom shot.

Selene faltered.

'Well… you seem good today. You even called me a witch before.'

Tom snorted.

'That was the hunger speaking. Now that I've had a decent feed, I'm much closer to my usual self, thank you very much. In fact… what are you still doing here? What is it you want, Selene?'

Selene chewed her lip. It wasn't her time to leave yet.

And, as she looked up at Tom, she realised that she no longer cared for what was right or wrong. All her life she had tried to distance herself from Tom in a bid to follow some moral code…

But now, on the morn of her death, that moral code seemed rather trivial.

She stood up and looked Tom squarely in the eye.

'You, Tom. I want you.'

Tom shivered involuntarily.

'What…'

She pulled him to her, gazing into his eyes searchingly.

'We've always fought this connection we've shared, Tom. Why?'

Tom's brow furrowed. Now that he had eaten, his clarity of mind had returned and he had become acutely aware of how wrong his current proximity to Selene was.

'Because we are completely incompatible, Selene. And I've always made my stance on the 'love' matter very clear. I don't care for it. It's a waste of time.'

'Couldn't you- for one day- just forget about it all? For one day, couldn't you just be like that Tom you were until you were eight and discovered that you had powers? Neither of us are normal… but couldn't we just be normal for one day?'

He looked at her coldly. The more she pleaded with him, the more his old resentment for her seemed to return.

'Selene. I don't care about you,' he stated.

'Good. Because that should make today easier for you,' she said flatly.

He ran a hand through his black hair, frustrated.

'What the hell are you talking about?'

She stood up and looked him in the eye. She knew he still wouldn't believe her.

'You're going to kill me,' she stated simply.

He sighed impatiently.

'You really have lost it, you know that?' he snapped.

Yet, somehow, the he was unable to look away from her hazel eyes.

'So have you,' she whispered.

He hesitated, but she did it for him. She leant forward and kissed him tentatively.

He took a sharp intake and separated almost instantly.

'What are you doing?' he stammered. 'We agreed no more of this. We…'

But Selene merely continued to look him in the eye as he tried to regain his usual cold composure.

Alas, she didn't allow him the chance. She closed the distance and kissed him again. This time, however, it wasn't tentative, but bold.

* * *

Suddenly, they were against the door of her hotel room. He kept on trying to remind himself of his previous beliefs; those ideologies he had spent his entire life believing in so passionately.

And yet, try as he did, he found them trivial and meaningless now that his thoughts were addled through her searing kisses.

'You're a witch,' he sighed as they fell on the bed together and she trailed kisses down his neck.

She laughed darkly at this. He closed his eyes, allowing his lust to take over.

But then she stopped and, panting, they stared at each other with wide eyes. Tentatively, he raised his hand and stroked her chiselled cheekbones.

'You have bewitched me,' he murmured.

He paused and, as he looked in her eyes, suddenly felt the need to be honest with her. It was a foreign feeling. Not once had he ever felt the need for honesty…

But, at that very moment, he felt he would surely suffocate if he continued to keep it bottled inside of him. He needed the catharsis of confession.

'I hate you. Or hated you. I despise you for the power you hold over me. Never have I desired anyone or anything as much as I have desired you. I've spent my entire life trying to rid myself of this desire, to no avail. I will never understand it. I will never understand why, of all people, the one who personifies the antithesis of my ideologies had to be the one I desired most.'

Selene glanced down at the sheets, her expression unreadable.

'You will never know how much I wish things had been different between us, Tom,' she said, her voice gravelly.

She then looked up at him.

'Honestly, if I were a pureblood, would things have been different? Would they?'

Tom looked away, but Selene took his wrist, her eyes flashing.

'Tell me!'

He shook his head.

'No. I don't think so. I would have despised you nonetheless. It wasn't so much your blood that offended me, as my inability to think rationally when in your presence. '

He glanced up at her.

'And, pureblood or mudblood, your beauty would always have been too strong for me to bear.'

Selene sighed bitterly.

'What beauty? The face of a cursed woman…'

'No,' Tom interrupted. 'While you are undeniably beautiful, I wasn't referring to your external beauty. I was referring to your soul.'

He suddenly looked pained.

'It… it was always so strong, so… _whole_.'

'And now?' Selene said dully.

He looked down at her and traced her jawline.

'I can still see its beauty, although time and circumstances have marred it.'

She raised an eyebrow and Tom nodded.

'Yes, I take responsibility for that. I tend to do that… split souls.'

Selene looked confused and he smiled coldly.

'This won't last,' he said, suddenly distant again.

Selene smiled and kissed his lips softly.

'Oh, I know,' she whispered. 'Which is why we shouldn't waste what little time we have left.'

She lifted her dress over her shoulders and Tom swallowed thickly as he took in the beauty of her naked form.

She kissed him again. This time, it was laced with the hard edge of lust.

'This is my last time, Tom,' she sighed as he pulled her to him forcefully. 'Make it good.'

* * *

When Tom roused, the first thing he noticed was that the bed was empty. Confused, he sat up and saw Selene, fully dressed, sitting in an armchair by the window.

He smiled a little as he saw the amber light of the sunset playing on her fair skin.

As he recalled his confession, however, he felt uneasy. He had unburdened what was left of his soul to her. At the time it seemed the natural thing to do…

But now?

He watched her warily. Part of him wanted nothing more than to repeat what they had done, only an hour ago.

But , over the past two days, she had also brought him back to life- back to his usual self- and with that, came his original reservations and opinions regarding her.

'You were always right. We would never have worked out,' she said, not turning to face him as she continued to stare out the window.

He felt himself becoming rigid at this statement. It was one thing for him to say it, but another to hear the words from her lips.

Suddenly, he felt the hot flush of shame overcoming him. She had, yet again, used him, only to beat him again. Just as she always had. The manipulative Delilah.

It occurred to him that she may have set the entire encounter up. She had probably been appointed by that Dumbledore to try and seduce him…

Snatching his wand, he got out of bed and dressed hurriedly. He now was aware of what she was doing.

He clenched his fists, feeling more betrayed than ever.

Suddenly, he felt that uncontrollable rage rising within him. That rage that had been almost impossible to control when had only the one Horcrux…

Now that he had split his soul seven times, it took all his strength not to pull her wand on her that very instant.

She stood up and smiled sadly as she looked at him.

'Why are you smiling?' he snapped, paranoia overcoming with him. 'What have you done? Have you set me up?'

She shook her head and leaned back against the wall, her eyes flitting again to the setting sun.

Cursing, Tom stalked across the room and pushed her roughly against the wall. She barely flinched. Rather, she looked resigned.

'It's really happening just as she showed me it would,' she murmured.

She nodded sadly.

'Whatever happens, Tom, it doesn't mean you can't still try and find the path of good. I beg you to at least try. I saw a glimpse of good in you earlier today. You're not completely beyond redemption.'

He punched the wall next to her.

'What the hell are you talking about?' he shouted.

Smiling sadly, she reached out and touched his cheek.

'I forgive you.'

His hands shook with rage as he pointed his wand at her, his eyes gleaming red with manic anger.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door and they both paused.

'Is everything alright?'

Without a word, Tom turned on his heel, wand at the ready.

There was another knock, and he raised his wand.

'Avada…'

Selene rushed in front of him, her eyes wide.

'No, Tom. No!'

But he was beyond reason now.

'Hello? Is everything okay?'

'Move out of my way,' he growled, pointing his wand at her threateningly.

Selene shook her head, tears streaking down her pale cheeks.

'No, Tom,' she whispered. 'I won't let you kill an innocent. Not while I'm still here.'

He sneered at her.

'Your reasoning means nothing to me. Get out…'

Selene pushed him back and he flew into the opposite wall, cracking the plaster.

Working quickly, she opened the door and pointed her wand at the Maid-

'Imperio'.

The maid's blue eyes suddenly glazed over.

'Go to the kitchens and don't return. Hurry!' Selene ordered, her heart pounding in her chest as she noticed Tom slowly getting to his feet.

She sighed in relief as the maid dropped her towels and sprinted down the hallway.

Suddenly, a flash of red narrowly missed her, and Selene gasped. She quickly shut the door behind her and put a silencing charm on it.

Before she could even turn to face Tom, she was flung across the room, crashing into the bedside table. She let out a cry as she felt the sharp corner of the table piercing the skin of her abdomen.

'Get up and duel, filthy mudblood,' Tom spat.

'Tom,' she pleaded, struggling to breath. 'I never meant…'

But she was sent to a crash on the floor, her wand flying to the opposite side of the room.

He snorted as he walked up to where she was lying in a heap on the floor. Slowly, she sat up, gasping for air.

Tom could barely speak.

'You… you let me _tell_ you things about me… You… you led me to believe…'

'Tom,' Selene gasped desperately. 'I didn't mean it in…'

'You dare refer to me using that muggle's name?' Tom spat. 'I am Lord Voldemort.'

Selene shook her head, looking pained.

'No, you're not. Don't put this false act on, Tom. You're Tom Riddle and while you may have done unspeakable things to your soul, I know you still have one.'

He stooped down and forced her to stand up. She leant against the wall for support, breathing heavily.

'Let me tell you something… _mudblood_,' he spat, his eyes gleaming red. 'What little soul I had left, has now been completely shattered.'

Selene shook her head desperately.

'No?' he laughed coldly. 'You don't believe so?'

'No, Tom. I don't. Listen to me…'

He shoved her against the wall roughly.

'No you listen to me!' he shouted. 'It was you! You ruined that last pathetic scrap of soul I had left.'

Selene bowed her head, tears streaming down her cheeks.

'Oh God, what have I done?' she cried, her body trembling. 'I ruined you… I'm to blame…'

Tom let go of her, snarling.

'Yes… you are. Though I owe you thanks, my sweet mudblood. That pathetic bit of soul I had left was what rendered me weak. It allowed me to wallow in self-pity, for lustful thoughts addle my mind… to do something so _normal_ as to have breakfast with a mudblood.'

He spat at her feet.

'I am Lord Voldemort. I am above such things! That scrap of soul I still retained made me weak; normal… average. And I am anything but. You will do well to remember that.'

But Selene was no longer listening to him. She hid her face in her hands as she continued to weep bitterly.

He grabbed her hands, pulling them down roughly.

'You will listen to me!' he sneered, digging his wand into her neck.

Selene looked at him tearfully.

'I'm so sorry, Tom. I'm so sorry I allowed you to end up this way. I failed you… and everyone else who has fallen victim to you…'

She bowed her head, wincing in pain.

'Please do it now,' she whispered. 'I can't bear this life anymore. I can't live with this guilt.'

He sneered.

'Kill you, mudblood?'

She took a deep breath and wiped her cheeks quickly, composing herself.

'Yes,' she whispered. 'Do it?'

He laughed coldly.

'And you are willing to give up on this pathetic life of yours so quickly, are you? You won't even fight for the chance to live?'

Selene shook her head, looking him in the eye.

He looked away quickly, unable to maintain that eye contact. It was as though they burned right through his own red eyes.

_Do it, Tom._

He shouted, covering his ears, and then pointed his wand at her threateningly.

'Fight for your life. Fight!'

She shook her head numbly.

'This pathetic attitude… you're hopeless,' he spat. 'You would never have slept with me back at school, and you would never be this weak, spineless…'

She continued to look at him in that same expressionless way.

He pressed his wand even deeper into the skin of her throat.

'This is what you want? To die so pathetically? After all your 'valiant' efforts to try and usurp and correct me… you're now willing to die without a fight?'

Again, she said nothing, though he caught her glancing one last time at the setting sun.

He slapped her violently and she stopped herself from flinching, but did nothing to fight back. Instead, she leant forward.

'Do it, Tom. The sooner the better,' she whispered, her lips brushing his.

And that was the final straw. Yet again, she was trying to seduce him into giving him. He lost any control over his temper. He could not stand her passiveness… her weakness. It was making him weaker… a ploy, surely, to try and change him… She was still trying, now, to break him down…

And, feeling her lips against his did just that to him. It took all of his self-control to prevent himself from throwing away his wand and crashing his lips on hers.

And why did he feel that way? He was a killer, a Dark Wizard… he had gone to such measures to ensure he would never experience such ordinary feelings. He was above such notions…

She smiled a small, knowing smile as she watched his internal struggle and looked again out of the window at the sun as it finally disappeared over the horizon as he finally said those two words-

Those two words that drained the life from her eyes, causing her body to slump to the floor.

Breathing heavily, he looked down at her lifeless corpse and kicked it gently.

'Get up,' he shouted. 'GET UP!'

He kicked at her corpse again. As she rolled over on her back, he gasped as he saw her hazel eyes, suddenly lifeless.

His heart pounded in his chest as he quickly knelt down and shook her desperately.

Surely she couldn't have just 'died' so simply. Selene never gave in without a huge fight. Surely it wasn't the end- 'just like that.'

'Get up! Get up you stupid mudblood whore! WAKE UP!' he shouted, his entire body trembling as he tried to generate a response.

But then, after ten minutes of no response, he felt that cold sinking feeling in his gut of realisation.

He had killed her.

Without thinking, he apparated back to his flat, hyperventilating. He couldn't with the memory… He couldn't. Knowing what he had done, he felt an overwhelming temptation to find and destroy each of his Horcruxes before ultimately destroying himself…

At the thought, he doubled over as the familiar pain of his soul fragmenting took over.

'No,' he gasped. 'No…'

It was unbearable. Red flecked his vision, and his eyes widened in horror as he touched his cheeks to see blood was streaming through them.

Gasping, he pointed the wand to himself and started saying the incantations to wipe his memory feverishly. It would sap his powers, but he no longer cared.

He needed to forget her. Forget her forever.

Because if he lived with the memory of her, he would never be able to conquer the world. He had just killed that which he supposed normal people called 'love'.

And knowing he had killed this would render him an invalid for the rest of his life. He knew this, because the pain inside his chest was the most unbearable pain he had ever known. More unbearable than the pain of all seven Horcruxes combined.

And so he proceeded to place the memory charm so that he would never have to remember her voice, her eyes, her smile, or her blindingly beautiful soul ever again.

A small step back in order to continue on his way forward.

* * *

As soon as the incantation was over, Tom blinked. He felt oddly empty; strangely free. But he couldn't remember or figure out what was responsible for his feeling thus.

He walked over to the mirror and smiled cruelly as he saw his reflection. He marred skin was pale- snakelike- with red slits for eyes.

He was suddenly filled with purpose. He had spent far too long in idleness. Pulling back the sleeve of his robe, he pressed a long, slender finger to the Dark Mark on his arm. He closed his eyes and revelled at the burning sensation it produced.

When he opened his eyes, he laughed. It was a cold, sickening high-pitched laugh.

Grinning manically at his reflection, he spoke-

I am Lord Voldemort.

And he liked the sound of it so much, he repeated himself. This time, with more conviction-

I am Lord Voldemort.

* * *

**I have a feeling I'm going to get a fair bit of hate mail for this chapter. If you've read The Good Morrow, it shouldn't have come as too much of a surprise. If you haven't... well, I was always very clear that this was staying true to Canon.**

**That being said, it was still an unbelievably difficult chapter to write, as it always is when you have to kill off a beloved character. Unfortunately, it had to happen. Killing Selene was the final act he had to complete to achieve his metamorphosis from the evil, yet still hesitant Tom Riddle, to becoming the evil, soulless Lord Voldemort we know and see in the books.**

**There is one more chapter-**

_'And, suddenly, the barrier of his memory charm came crashing down. For the second time in his life, he experienced the winding and torturous pain that only the knowledge of Selene's murder could bring.'_

**I would love to read your reviews on this chapter. Also, today was the official release date of Stained Glass which was very exciting for me. You can read my thoughts on it on my new blogspot (link on my Author's Page). And, of course, you can purchase Stained Glass from my website!**

**Lots of love, **

**Anya  
**


	52. Chapter 52: Epilogue

"**Came a time  
When every star fall brought you to tears again  
We are the very hurt you sold  
And what's the worst you take  
From every heart you break  
And like the blade you stain  
Well I've been holding on tonight**

**What's the worst that I can say?**  
**Things are better if I stay**  
**So long and goodnight"**

**- '**_**Helena'**_**, My Chemical Romance**

* * *

**Epilogue**

**.**

Malkin sighed as she returned from her lunch break. She hated this time of year. The shop was constantly packed with parents and their children trying on school robes, and she hated them. The children were often snotty little brats, and the parents were worse; always trying to haggle down the already cheap price of the robes.

'What I've been reduced to,' she sighed sadly, remembering her fashion label fondly.

She entered the store and took a deep breath. It was empty, which was an extremely rare occurrence. She smiled to herself, savouring the moment. Her mind wandered to Florean, who was also feeling the pressure of the added business school holidays offered.

Her reverie, however, was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Frustrated, she constructed her 'retail smile', and walked over to the young girl who looked around the store, looking both timid and confused.

'Can I help you?'

The girl turned and Malkin gasped as she saw her. The girl frowned.

'Sorry, did I do something….'

Malkin clutched at her chest, feeling tears stinging at her eyes. This girl was the spitting image of Selene.

'Who… who is your mother?'

The girl frowned.

'Maria,' she stammered. 'She's what you call a muggle, I think.'

Malkin walked up to the girl.

'And… you? What's your name?'

The girl frowned, looking about her cautiously.

'I need school robes. I'm a muggle-born. You wouldn't know anyone from my family.'

Malkin shook her head quickly and constructed a smile again.

'Of course. But if I'm to fit you, I would like to know your name all the same.'

'It's Helen,' the girl said shortly.

Malkin nodded, still confused as to how this girl could bear such an exact likeness to her long deceased best friend.

As she did the calculations, she realised that the girl must have been born just after Selene's death and thus couldn't be related to Selene at all.

Nonetheless, their likeness was deeply unsettling.

'Madame Malkin?' the girl pressed timidly. 'My robes?'

Malkin blinked and nodded.

'Why of course- come this way. I've got just the right size for you. You're very lucky, because I highly suspect that these uniforms will be perfectly tailored to your body measurements, which are very similar to the measurements of original model for all my robes…'

* * *

Alphard smiled proudly as he read his nephew's letter, detailing his runway from home.

He loved Sirius as though he was the son he never had. He saw a lot of himself in the boy… but also saw that Sirius was more stable than he ever was. Sirius was far sharper than he ever was.

Also, unlike himself, Sirius seemed to have enough sense to cherish a good woman when he found her. Or so he hoped, at least.

Sighing, he dipped the nib of his quill in his ink well, and began his response-

_Dear Sirius,_

_Congratulations on escaping the Mad Family of Black! I am very happy for you, although there are a few things that need to be arranged in order to ensure that you have a secure future. You say you have a Hogsmeade weekend next Saturday? I imagine that you are not permitted to stay out too late these days. I suggest we meet around 12.30pm so that I may be able to shout you to a celebratory lunch for your newfound freedom!_

_Let me know, with that delightful owl of yours, if this is convenient for you._

_Love,_

_Your Uncle Alphie._

.

As Alphard watched Maera's fly off with his response, he felt the crushing pain of angina. It was happening more and more often these days. Years of a terrible diet and drinking spirtits no doubt contributed to this.

Gasping, he sat in his armchair and poured himself a large tumbler of firewhisky, downing it in one.

It only worsened the pain. He closed his eyes as he felt dizziness overcoming him.

.

When Alphard came to, it suddenly struck him that his time on earth might be limited. He was surprised to realise that this concept did not upset him as much as it probably should have.

He sighed and looked up at the white ceiling.

'No children, all this fortune… what for?' he muttered.

He sighed and tossed Sirius' letter, which he was still holding, aside. As he did, he realised what he must do.

Getting up unsteadily, he limped back to his desk and wrote a letter to his lawyer, asking to arrange for a will to be drawn up.

* * *

Alphard walked down the main street of Hogsmeade, humming an old tune to himself. It was a surreal experience, walking through the once-familiar streets. Many of his favourite shops at school now had newer, more modern replacements. He also noticed that the garden had been replaced by a new bar.

Sighing wistfully, he continued on his way.

'I'll see you later! I need to post this letter to Mark,' a voice called out.

Alphard froze. He hadn't heard her voice in so long… was he imagining things?

He looked around desperately to see who that girl was. As he saw her, he felt winded for the second time that day.

Had he not known any better, he would have said it was her. She looked exactly as she did when they were sixteen.

She even wore her hair in the same way- dark waves, rippling down to her waist.

Alphard turned suddenly when he heard Sirius' voice-

'Ask him about the bike for me!'

The girl waved to Sirius and continued to walk in Alphard's direction, smiling to herself. In his shock, Alphard dropped his bag.

'Here, sir, you dropped this,' she smiled, picking it up and handing it back to him, before walking away.

He would thanked her, but was too shocked to say anything. He simply stared after her dumbly.

'Uncle Alphie! Good to see you,' Sirius said happily, walking up to his uncle and clapping him on the shoulder.

Alphard turned suddenly and smiled at Sirius.

'Sirius, m'boy! Long time no see!' he said, shaking his nephew's hand. 'I see you sorted out your issues with your beloved, then?' he remarked, glancing back at the girl's retreating back.

He wanted to find out more about her now- that elusive and mysterious girl who was _her_ spitting image.

'Helen? Oh, we'll always have issues, but we're okay for now, I guess,' Sirius laughed. 'Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to take you up on that offer of a celebratory lunch. After the morning I've had, I need a good meal!'

..

'Tell me, Uncle Alphie… when you saw Helen's picture, you said that she reminded you of someone you once knew. Do you remember who it was now?' Sirius asked, as they sat at a table.

Alphard pursed his lips.

'Why do you ask?' he asked quietly, toying with his napkin.

Sirius paused.

'It's just… she just seems too naturally talented at magic to be muggle-born,' Sirius said.

'Does she study, though?' he asked, still not looking up at Sirius.

'Yes, but there are other things… for example, she can do wandless magic and control it! She confunded her father on the holidays without a wand and can levitate books and set things on fire… I mean, we've all done wandless magic on the occasion, but she's… '

Sirius trailed off and looked expectantly up at his uncle.

Alphard gulped. This girl _had_ to be her daughter.

'She just reminds me of this girl I used to know once… I doubt she ever had children. She died rather young,' he replied offhandishly. The more he heard of this girl, the less he wanted to know.

He cleared his throat smartly.

'Enough of that! I came here to discuss you and your future. You cannot very well live off the Potters for the rest of your life…'

Whilst Sirius recounted his escape story to him, Alphard's eyes drifted to the other side of the pub. She had come in, ten minutes after they had, with her red-haired friend.

She had the exact same smile.

He sighed and returned his gaze to his nephew, although he found it impossible to pay attention to what he Sirius was saying.

Selene Asteria. The woman who had tortured his soul ever since he had left her nearly twenty years ago.

After so many years, he could never quite understand why he did it- why he put them both through that pain. At times he thought it was because he was tired of fighting and arguing with her; sometimes he thought that it was because he was scared to ask her to marry him- to completely end his ways as a bachelor and to settle down…

But he had loved her. He really had and, although he may have been able to persuade himself into believing that those were his reasons for rejecting her, deep down, he knew the real reason.

He was too weak to bear that secret of hers, so he pushed her away. He made used the excuse of her having 'lived a lie', and that he could never trust her again.

What scared him the most about their separation was that she didn't even shout at him or become angry; it was almost as they she had _expected _it, but had hoped that perhaps his love for her would have been stronger.

He had failed her.

And the price he paid for his failure? A life of loneliness and grief; he could never move on. He could never forget her and her face as she turned around that final time and left him

When he heard of how Voldemort had killed her, he felt as though he himself had died. It was a year after they had gone their separate ways and he knew how she died. She was very powerful- how could she not be? He knew that Voldemort would not have been able to kill her had she been duelling him under normal circumstances. After all, Tom Riddle had never beaten her during their constant duels while at school.

He had seen her only once after their separation, however, and one look at her stony, gaunt and changed face had been enough to prove to him that Voldemort had not killed her- he had.

Alphard forced a smile and tuned back in to what Sirius was saying, although he couldn't resist glancing every now and then to where that girl was.

The two girls stood up to leave.

'You should probably be getting back to the castle,' Alphard said to Sirius, also standing up.

He wanted to somehow talk to the girl… perhaps Sirius would introduce her to him if they crossed paths?

Sirius nodded and also stood up. They made their way slowly to the door and Alphard's heart beat hopefully as he registered that the two girls were now behind them.

'Black, get a move on. We don't have all da…'

Lily stopped talking and blushed profusely as she saw Alphard turn around with Sirius.

'Friend of yours, Sirius?' Alphard asked Sirius, amused.

Sirius and Lily snorted simultaneously while Helen sighed.

Alphard turned to face Helen.

'I'm Alphard Black, Sirius' uncle. You must be Helen. I've heard quite a lot about you,' he said, holding out a hand, looking into her eyes searchingly.

Helen laughed and shook his hand.

'Is that so, Sirius?' she comically, raising an eyebrow.

'Please don't say things like that- it'll only inflate her ego to an unhealthy level,' Sirius said to Alphard, winking at Helen nonetheless.

Alphard couldn't help smiling as he noticed how Helen blushed at this. There was something so painfully nostalgic in seeing their young love, unadulterated at that point by the trivialities of life.

Lily snorted.

'Like you can talk about inflated egos,' she said sarcastically.

'Am I to understand that those two don't get along too well?' Alphard whispered to Helen, who sighed exasperatedly.

'That's putting it mildly,' she replied.

Lily and Sirius continued to bicker. And then he couldn't resist-

'You remind me of someone I once knew… tell me, who are your parents?'

Helen looked up at him questioningly before shrugging.

'I doubt you would know them seeing as I'm muggle-born. My father is Steven Asterios and my mother is Maria Asteria,' she said simply.

Alphard was almost completely certain, by now, that Helen could be none other than Selene's daughter. It seemed as though they had done the same thing with Helen, as they had done with Selene- except this time they had sent her to be raised by muggles of the same surname so as not to create suspicion as to who she really was.

'I see,' he said softly, smiling at her.

Helen blushed slightly at his gaze. Abashed in his presence, she cleared her throat quickly-

'Okay, you two, that's enough,' she said loudly, interrupting Lily and Sirius' argument.

Lily and Sirius glared at each other before turning to face Helen and Alphard.

'So you're sure that Helen and this mystery woman who you won't tell me about aren't related?' Sirius persisted, in a final attempt to garner information on the matter.

Alphard chuckled, though he now felt very uneasy regarding the matter.

'No, I am quite certain,' he nodded, ruffling Sirius' hair as they all walked out of the pub, into the afternoon.

'Well, it has been wonderful catching up with you again, Sirius, and make sure you keep in contact. Miss Asteria and Miss Evans, it has been an absolute pleasure to meet you both,' Alphard said, shaking their hands courteously before walking away.

After a while, he turned around and watched the three of them as they walked back to the gate. He sighed as he watched his nephew putting his arm around Helen and kiss her on the cheek as they continued to walk back to the castle, laughing.

If he had stayed with Selene, and they had children, Helen would be first-cousins with Sirius.

It was a bittersweet thought, but Alphard wondered if, perhaps, he and Selene were being given a second chance through Helen and Sirius.

He only hoped that Sirius would never repeat his mistake.

* * *

That evening, Alphard's breathlessness and angina were worse than ever. He knew a visit to a Healer might ease his pain but, instinctively knowing that his life was drawing near the end, he didn't care enough to do anything about it.

Slowly, he sorted through the drawers he hadn't touched in over sixteen years. Finally, he came across what he had been searching for- the engagement he never gave to Selene.

Sitting down gingerly at his desk, he took a few deep gasps of air before penning his letter to Helen.

He knew she would be surprised at receiving such a gift from a relative stranger and that Sirius would no doubt question the matter further, but it was something he had to do.

If Selene could never have the ring she always deserved, her daughter would.

A coughing fit wracked Alphard's body. When it subsided, his eyes widened as he noticed the rust-coloured stain of blood on his handkerchief.

He sipped some firewhiskey and began writing. The room was filled with the sound of his nib scratching at the parchment-

_Dear Helen,_

_Although we only met briefly, I am very glad that we did. I understand that you may be alarmed and rather confused at my leaving you such a valuable possession. After all, we are mere acquaintances._

_I meant to give that ring to someone very special to me, many years ago. The greatest regret of my life is that I never did. I was reminded of this person when I met you and I can think of no one whom I would rather have this ring, than yourself. _

_I wish you every happiness in life._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Alphard Black_

.

Alphard chewed the tip of his quill as he read over the letter. It was short, but it said everything he needed to say.

He then thought of Sirius. He hadn't intended on leaving him a letter… but also knew that he would not be content to leave Sirius' fate to chance. He needed Sirius to know his mistake, so that history would never repeat itself.

Tossing back the rest of his firewhiskey, he set his tumbler down on the mahogany desk and began writing.

* * *

As Janis recounted the truth behind Helen's heritage, Voldemort could not believe that, after all his years of believing that Selene Asteria was nothing but a worthless mudblood, she in fact had the most valuable blood of all.

'No,' Voldemort interrupted coldly. 'It can't be true.'

'Yes, my Lord. He said he overheard her telling all this to the Black boy,' Janis said gravely.

'Pure? A direct descendant of Circe and the goddess of witchcraft herself...?'

He needed time alone to think.

'Have you spoken to anyone else of this matter, Janis?'

'No, my Lord.'

'Very well. You are not to tell anyone else- and neither is Peter. Now leave me,' he said dismissively.

For the first time in his life, everything about Selene suddenly made so much sense- her extraordinary power, her flair for wandless magic, her beauty… it all made sense.

She was everything he had ever wanted to be- completely pure.

The fact that she had a daughter now made sense too… her age, her appearance… all the pieces of the puzzle were finally in place.

He was furious that he had never sought to investigate Selene's extraordinary powers while she was alive. She could have been so useful…

And yet, he dismissed her as useless due to her supposed muggle-born heritage.

'The sneaky, lying whore,' he spat.

Feeling overcome with anger, he picked up his wand and blasted the tree outside his window. He smiled grimly as he saw a nest of dead swallows falling to the around the shards of tree.

'Janis!' he barked. 'Call for a meeting!'

* * *

Killing Helen Asteria consumed Voldemort's every waking thought. After months of failed attempts at luring her out of hiding, he finally had her.

And, unlike all the other times, this time he would finally kill her.

Duelling Helen had been very annoying and frustrating business. Of course, she was not up to what he could recall of Selene's old standards, yet she never seemed to fall or succumb to even his darkest curses.

What incensed him even further, was that he had been so close- that time in Hall's Valley nearly two years ago- to killing her.

She had been so weak that day that it was almost laughable that she could be so closely related to the great Circe; that her blood was _that_ pure.

But there was something else, though-

Although he wanted her dead, he could not shake that nagging feeling inside of him.

She looked just like Selene, and he wasn't sure why, but the concept of killing Selene was rather unsettling.

But he was no longer Tom Riddle. He _was _Lord Voldemort- the most feared Dark Wizard of all time.

He would not allow any so-called 'Daughter of Asteria' stand in his way of glory.

He picked up the pace of duelling. She started to falter a little, but still managed to deflect all curses that came her way.

And then he saw his opening to go in for the kill. Without a second thought, he muttered those two same words that had killed Selene Asteria so many years ago.

As he watched body falling to the ground, he gasped as, suddenly, the barrier of the memory charm came crashing down.

Memories of their final day together came flooding in-

Sitting at the park eating breakfast…

Lying on the bed, discussing the infinite impossibility of their relationship…

His bearing his soul to her, and feeling freer for it…

Their making love as he had never experienced it before…

Gasping, Tom Riddle apparated back to his chateau and sunk into an armchair. For, now that his memory of Selene had been restored, he was Tom Riddle once more.

He shut his eyes tightly as he remembered how beautiful she was as she sat in the armchair, watching the setting sun; what she knew would be her final sunset.

And then he recalled how his uncontrollable rage and paranoia overcame him. How she fought for the life of a random maid, but, upon battering her, refused to fight him for her own life.

He gasped as he remembered her grief, as she pleaded for him to forgive her. As though, after everything she had endured and gone through at his expense, taking the blame for all his sins upon herself.

And then, finally, how he lost control and killed her without even realising it.

And it was then, for the second time in his life, that Tom Riddle experienced the winding and torturous pain that only the knowledge of Selene Asteria's murder could bring.

He gasped as he remembered Helen's lifeless body, sprawled on the cobblestone ground of Diagon Alley and desperately fumbled for his wand.

He now knew how to permanently modify his memory without losing his powers. He needed to; he had come far too far now to be ruined by something that he had done over twenty years ago.

To be ruined by Selene Asteria again.

Closing his eyes, he whispered only word that could put an end to his unbearable agony-

_Obliviate._

* * *

**Most of this chapter comprised of scenes appearing in The Good Morrow, slightly altered to fit the perspective of the WbaP characters.**

**If you haven't read The Good Morrow, this chapter hasn't ruined too much. Not everything is as it seems...**

**AND DON'T LEAVE YET! THERE'S ONE MORE CHAPTER!**

**x Anya  
**


	53. Chapter 53: Children's Ghosts Will Haunt

**When he comes to me I am ready  
I'll wash his feet with my hair if he needs  
Forgive him when his tongue lies through his brain  
Even after three times he betrays me…**

**I'm just a Holy Fool, oh baby he's so cruel  
But I'm still in love with Judas, baby**

**I couldn't love a man so purely  
Even prophets forgave his crooked way  
I've learned love is like a brick you can  
Build a house or sink a dead body**

**I'll bring him down, bring him down, down**  
**A king with no crown, king with no crown**

**- 'Judas'- Lady Gaga**

* * *

**Children's Ghosts Will Haunt Me Still**

.

Slowly, Tom opened his eyes to find he was in a large, white room filled with people.

Confused, he turned around, looking for an exit. But there was none. He then noticed that were all standing in a line.

Swallowing thickly, he approached a young man who was standing at the end of the line. He had bright red hair.

'Excuse me… can you tell me where I am?'

The boy turned around. His face was drawn, but he smiled sympathetically nonetheless.

'Well, you better take a deep breath before I tell you… you're dead.'

'Fred, come on, we're next. Apparently we've been allowed to jump the queue.'

Tom looked up and saw a middle-aged man, with sandy brown hair. He faintly recognised the man. Next to him, stood a young woman with bubble-gum pink hair. She was crying quietly next to her husband.

'Teddy,' she whispered. 'Who will look after Teddy?'

The man with sandy-brown hair pursed his lips, sorrow evident on his features.

'We have many good friends who will look after him. I have no doubt that he will grow up to be a very well-loved boy.'

The woman shrugged her head hopelessly. It was then that the sandy-haired man squinted as he observed Tom.

'Why do I recognise you?'

Tom faltered. It suddenly occurred to him that he was in a room, filled with people who had died. Died because of him.

'Did you die in the battle too? I hear Voldy finally carked it, though, so I guess it wasn't all for nothing. Harry did us proud,' Fred said proudly.

'You weren't a Death Eater, were you?' the woman with the pink hair burst out, suddenly. Her cheeks pinched in anger.

Tom took a step back, feeling winded. Before he could respond, someone fell to his feet and hugged his knees tightly. His eyes widened as he recognised it was Bellatrix.

'Master! Master! I'm so sorry I failed you. I'm so sorry…'

The woman with the pink hair gave an angry shriek and, before anyone could stop her, launched herself at Tom, punching every part of him she could.

Two men dressed in official white robes came and pulled her off.

'There'll be none of that here,' one of them said, casting Tom an evil look. 'Anyway, you lot are up next. I'm sure you want to see your friends.'

The man with the sandy hair shot Tom a look of pure hatred, but then smiled as he realised he would finally be joining his friends again.

'Come on,' he said gruffly to his wife and Fred. 'He doesn't deserve any of our time.'

Reluctantly, his wife followed him. Fred, however, stayed behind. He pointed a threatening finger at Tom.

'Do you even care how many families you've torn apart? Do you even care that my parents will never be the same? My twin will always be fucked up over this? That Teddy will never know his parents? That you've completely fucked over so many people's lives? All because of what? You didn't like muggles very much so you thought you ought to go and wipe them off the face of the planet? What?'

Bellatrix stiffened next to Tom.

'How dare you…'

'Pipe down, Bellatrix,' Fred shot at her scathingly. 'You can't torture people into submission over here.'

He then looked squarely at Tom.

'Tell me? Was it worth it? Did you achieve _anything_ from all of this? Do you know what they've done to your worthless carcass? Left it in an un-named pit to rot forever.'

'Why, the cheek!' Bellatrix seethed. 'Do you know what…'

And it was then when Tom suddenly saw her. She was wearing the same white dress she wore the day he had killed her. Like that day, she had that same, sad smile as she looked at him.

He took a sharp intake of breath as he saw her raise a hand, beconing her to him from across the room.

He tore his eyes off her for the moment, and looked at Fred.

'No,' he said. 'In answer to your question- no, it wasn't worth it.'

'Fred, leave him! He's not worth…. Helen?'

Selene glanced over to the man with sandy hair and shook her head.

'Wrong daughter.'

Remus' eyes widened.

'You're her mother?'

She nodded sadly. They all stopped as a voice came over the loudspeaker-

'Final call for Mr and Mrs Lupin, and Fred Weasley.'

Remus smiled apologetically at Selene, and beckoned his wife to continue over to the administrative office.

'Come on Fred.'

With a final glare at Tom, Fred ran off to join the Lupins.

'Master? Master, what do we do?'

Tom held up a hand, and Bellatrix fell silent. Without a further word to her, he walked slowly over to where Selene stood, waiting.

'Why are you still here?' he said, his voice filled in wonderment. 'You died so long ago.'

She smiled at him.

'I was waiting for you,' she said simply.

For the second time, Tom felt winded. Though this time, it was a pleasant feeling. A choking sort of warmth that he had never felt before.

She took his hand and smiled at him.

'No one else here will ever forgive you. But I will, because I know you won't be evil up here. You'll be as you always should have been. You'll be Tom.'

Tom cocked his head at the sound of his name. After so many years, it sounded foreign.

'Tom…' he mused. 'What is this place?'

Selene shrugged.

'The waiting room. I've never gone through it to see what comes next.'

Tom swallowed thickly.

'You've waited here all these years… for me?'

Selene nodded.

'Yes. Alphard came through, some time ago. He begged me to come with him, but I wouldn't. If you're to spend eternity in this place, you shouldn't do it alone.'

Tom frowned.

'Aren't you condemning him to spend it alone?'

Selene shook her head.

'Oh no. He has Ariadne, not to mention his school friends and family. He won't be alone at all.'

At the mention of family, Tom suddenly realised that he might see his mother. As though she could read his mind, Selene shook her head apologetically.

'I'm sorry, Tom. I heard she refused to go on. She chose the complete termination of her soul.'

Tom looked away, stung. He then looked up as Selene took his hand. She smiled at him.

'You don't need her. We don't need anyone else. We have each other. And, finally, that is going to be enough.'

Tom hesitated.

'But how do you know they won't terminate me too? After everything I did…'

Selene shook her head.

'You may have never felt it during your life as Lord Voldemort, but you feel it now. That choking breathlessness, Tom, is what we call remorse. If you truly feel it, then I think you'll be okay.'

'But what if we're not together?' he said. 'What if they separate us?'

Selene smiled and touched his cheek.

'They won't. Do you know why?'

He shook his head.

'Because wherever you're going, I'll be there too. Wherever that is. We may have screwed up life horribly, but we're going to get this- our afterlife- right. We will.'

'Tom Riddle and Selene Asteria.'

Tom gasped and looked around him for a way out. Smiling patiently, Selene took his hand.

'Come on, it's our turn now. Let's go.'

Tom shook his head.

'No. No… I don't want…'

She took his face gently in her white hands, and kissed his lips softly.

'We'll be together, no matter what. I promise. We'll be okay, Tom. We will.'

Once again, she held out her hand to him. Hesitantly, he took it.

'Tom?'

He looked up at her, his eyes wide with fear.

'I love you.'

And then, suddenly, he no longer felt so uneasy. As he followed Selene to the administrative office, he marvelled how strong an affect those three words- which he spent his life scorning- could have.

Selene placed her hand on the door.

'Are you ready?'

This time, he took her hand. With a deep breath, he nodded and smiled at her hesitantly.

'Yes. Yes I am.'

* * *

No one was ever certain as to what became of Tom Riddle and Selene Asteria's souls. No one from the after-life had ever seen them, yet they had were never again seen in the Waiting Room.

But there were rumours. Rumours that Tom had been denied access to the afterlife and had his soul terminated and Selene, in her final act of loyalty to him, agreed to suffer the same fate.

Again, these were only rumours. No one knew for sure…

* * *

Hannah Asteria wiped her brow. It was an unusually hot day in England.

'I'll take it,' she told the real estate agent.

He beamed and handed her a pen to sign the papers.

'Are you planning on developing the place?'

Hannah glanced at the empty orphanage and shook her head.

'No. No I'm not.'

'You're going to _live _in it?' the agent said, surprised.

Again, Hannah shook her head. As the agent saw her sign the binding contract, he spoke-

'Between you and me, I wouldn't go to the attic. Strange things seem to happen there.'

'I know.'

The agent looked taken aback.

'Why would you buy an orphanage you know is haunted?'

Hannah caught a glimpse of Selene's child-like ghost, watching them anxiously through the attic window.

'You could call me sentimental,' she shrugged, handing him the papers.

As they walked away from the orphanage, the agent turned to her, his eyes wide.

'Did you know that He Who Must Not Be Named is rumoured to have been raised in this orphanage?'

Hannah feigned surprise.

'No, I didn't.'

'They say he haunts the place.'

Hannah smiled ironically as she saw Selene pulling Tom's ghost away from the window as the agent turned suddenly to look back at the place.

'My, my,' Hannah said, fanning herself. 'Maybe I could start running ghost tours.'

The agent shot her an apprehensive look.

'I know it's none of my business, but what exactly do you want with the place? It's a haunted dump.'

Hannah smiled the same Asteria, non-telling smile.

'You're right,' she said simply. 'It's none of your business.'

She held her hand out and cleared her throat. Embarrassed, the agent shook her hand.

'Well, good luck…'

He turned to apparate away, but hesitated once more.

'This may be bold of me, but I noticed you weren't wearing a ring. Do you think, perhaps, you might want to come out for a drink?'

Hannah smiled apologetically at the man.

'Sorry, I'm taken.'

The agent blushed furiously.

'Of course you are.'

With an awkward nod, he finally apparated away.

Sighing, Hannah walked back to the gate of the orphanage. Now that the coast was clear, both Selene and Tom's young ghosts appeared at the window.

'Thank you,' Selene mouthed.

Smiling, Hannah nodded. She then laughed as she saw Tom creeping up behind Selene, frightening her. There was a scream, followed by their child-like laughter as Selene chased after him, their ghosts disappearing once again from the window.

Satisfied that her work was done, Hannah walked away from the orphanage. She couldn't help smiling to herself as the ghosts' laughter continued to echo down the street.

* * *

**THE END**

* * *

**How Selene and Tom ended up as ghosts is up for interpretation. I have my own version, but you are welcome to devise your own version.**

**In case you haven't read The Good Morrow (the sequel to this story), Helen is the next daughter of Asteria following Selene. After Helen, Hannah is the next daughter.  
**

**I have a final Author's note on the next page. I'd appreciate it if you read it. **

**Love, Anya  
**


	54. Chapter 54: Author's Final Note

To my wonderful readers:

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude towards you. I truly believe that any success I have garnered through writing is due mostly to your loyalty and encouragement.

Now that I have posted my final chapter on this site, I can't help but reflect on the moment I accidentally posted my first chapter of The Good Morrow, almost four years ago.

Through your reviews and encouragement, you have allowed me to blossom from an insecure (but blindly passionate) writer of fanfiction, to a now-published author. More importantly, you have helped me as a person develop and grow from a shy and inconfident girl of 17, to a... well, still rather insecure, but much more stable and confident girl of 21.

Again, I can never properly impart to you just how grateful I am. I hope the dedication in Stained Glass can convince you, even just a little, how thankful I am to you all.

To those of you who are sad to see me leave this site, I can only say that it isn't the end for me as a writer. Far from it. As I'm sure you're all sick of hearing, Stained Glass is out and I would dearly love to know your thoughts on it once you've read it. I have a new Blogs, and many other online entities such as an Official Website, Twitter and a Facebook page you can reach me through. The links can all be found on my Author's Page here.

And I really hope you do. I would hate for this to be goodbye.

Lots and lots and lots of love,

Anya


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